KillTheCan.org Accountability Forum
Community => Introductions => Topic started by: CAJUN on January 10, 2016, 05:27:00 PM
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Hello, I have been around this site for a while. I started dipping when I was 5 and it became a daily habit when I was 15, I am 41 today. The first time that I quit was in 1995 for six weeks when I went through military basic training. My dad came to my graduation and after I told him how long I had went without Copenhagen he offered me a dip. I thought why not, its just one and I will never go back to dipping everyday. I was wrong and it turned into a full time gig and it wasn't until 15 years later that I decided to try to quit. I lasted three days and caved, using my irritability as the excuse. The next time that I tried to quit was sometime in 2014 and I lasted 10 days before my irritability convinced me to give in again.
Sometime in late September 2015 I decided that I was going to try again. I went to the medical clinic and they had me pick a quit date about two weeks out and prescribed me Wellbutrin to help out. My quit date was Oct 14, 2015 and for two weeks I took the directed dosage of Wellbutrin and let it build up in my body. About four days before my quit date I couldn't feel anything when I got a dip. I might as well have been shoving wood chips in my mouth. By the time Oct 14 hit I didn't mind quitting at all. Now that doesn't mean that it was all peaches and cream. I was very irritable and depressed at times. The depression was largely due to the medication which I was good with because I was overcoming my addiction but my doctor ended up pulling me off of it after about 20 days. I had got very use to using the medication as a crutch and thought for sure that I would cave without it. As a matter of fact I was pissed when the doc pulled me off so I decided that if he didn't care then neither did I (funny how the mind works in such situations). I bought two can of Copenhagen right after that appointment and was totally prepared to get back to it. A funny thing happened though after I had the two cans, I thought about the last 20 days and decided not to open them. I decided that I would just keep the cans in my pocket just incase things got bad enough to use the junk in them and throw it all away. I am stationed overseas and the Copenhagen here is in plastic cans, my goal was and is to wear the color off the label without ever cracking the seal. Over the course of the last few months I have had two days where I got pretty pissed during high spirited conversations that I did partially work my thumbnail around two cans on different occasions and had to replace them but I never took a dip! Tomorrow is 90 days for me and its been one of the hardest things that I have ever put myself through but I am so glad that I did.
We are all different and what works for me might not work for you. I had tried posting roll in the past and it didn't resonate with me. While many folks had great intentions, I felt many were too pushy and it killed my motivation. This time I simply read/monitored writings on this website first thing in the morning and at night before bed and constantly counted the days I have been free. I can't believe I am on this side of the quit! It has been a challenge and will continue to be but I know I won't be dipping today!
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Hello, I have been around this site for a while. I started dipping when I was 5 and it became a daily habit when I was 15, I am 41 today. The first time that I quit was in 1995 for six weeks when I went through military basic training. My dad came to my graduation and after I told him how long I had went without Copenhagen he offered me a dip. I thought why not, its just one and I will never go back to dipping everyday. I was wrong and it turned into a full time gig and it wasn't until 15 years later that I decided to try to quit. I lasted three days and caved, using my irritability as the excuse. The next time that I tried to quit was sometime in 2014 and I lasted 10 days before my irritability convinced me to give in again.
Sometime in late September 2015 I decided that I was going to try again. I went to the medical clinic and they had me pick a quit date about two weeks out and prescribed me Wellbutrin to help out. My quit date was Oct 14, 2015 and for two weeks I took the directed dosage of Wellbutrin and let it build up in my body. About four days before my quit date I couldn't feel anything when I got a dip. I might as well have been shoving wood chips in my mouth. By the time Oct 14 hit I didn't mind quitting at all. Now that doesn't mean that it was all peaches and cream. I was very irritable and depressed at times. The depression was largely due to the medication which I was good with because I was overcoming my addiction but my doctor ended up pulling me off of it after about 20 days. I had got very use to using the medication as a crutch and thought for sure that I would cave without it. As a matter of fact I was pissed when the doc pulled me off so I decided that if he didn't care then neither did I (funny how the mind works in such situations). I bought two can of Copenhagen right after that appointment and was totally prepared to get back to it. A funny thing happened though after I had the two cans, I thought about the last 20 days and decided not to open them. I decided that I would just keep the cans in my pocket just incase things got bad enough to use the junk in them and throw it all away. I am stationed overseas and the Copenhagen here is in plastic cans, my goal was and is to wear the color off the label without ever cracking the seal. Over the course of the last few months I have had two days where I got pretty pissed during high spirited conversations that I did partially work my thumbnail around two cans on different occasions and had to replace them but I never took a dip! Tomorrow is 90 days for me and its been one of the hardest things that I have ever put myself through but I am so glad that I did.
We are all different and what works for me might not work for you. I had tried posting roll in the past and it didn't resonate with me. While many folks had great intentions, I felt many were too pushy and it killed my motivation. This time I simply read/monitored writings on this website first thing in the morning and at night before bed and constantly counted the days I have been free. I can't believe I am on this side of the quit! It has been a challenge and will continue to be but I know I won't be dipping today!
My advice would be post roll get some accountability. It's a helluva lot easier with help than alone. But you a grown ass man good luck!
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Dump that crap out. I've been taught here it isn't luck, it's will, accountability, brotherhood and mainly posting roll.
What works on here is people quit every day, one day at a time. That is what works.
Find your quit group April 2016. Post roll daily and make friends.
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Cajun, the first part your intro describes try's and fails. The middle talks about near failure and ktc's positive effects on your quit. The last part talks about how you have the way that's best for you. Congrats!
The issue for me is that your conclusion is based on very little data. Your quit is in its infancy. What will you do 90 days from now or a thousand... when the craves hit harder or life takes a downward turn? Whose going to care enough to be there for you if needed? Awesome job on the 90 days, btw, that's a heck of a lot longer then I ever got on my own but you're not seeing the big picture if you think your done.
This way, holding each other accountable, has been proven time and again, thousands of times over. Yours hasn't. While you have admittedly benefitted by the wisdom found within these pages, you've given very little back. That stinks of selfishness and conceit.
I'm going to stick with the odds and invite you to reconsider your conclusion. Don't confuse the adrenaline of short term success for a life time of quit.
Find your group, make your promise, keep it. Take what you need, leave the rest. Build a network of accountability. Help if you can but if you can't, don't hurt someone else's quit. That's a daily dedication to not using, Cajun. That's what works.
What do you have to lose?
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Thanks fellas for you time and effort that you put into responding to my post but I'm going to stick with what I have been doing. By posting roll I am simply letting peer pressure motivate the success or failure of my quit and it doesn't work for me because I don't care enough about what people I don't know think of me. I have also tried to quit for my family before and that didn't work either, I only took my frustrations out on them and then used that as an excuse to start back.
In the last four years I have helped coordinate the treatment of 12 alcoholics who were enrolled into various inpatient rehab facilities located in different parts of the world. Each individual that came back, came back saying that their quit was about them. The last individual that I spoke to explained that it had to be about him because doing it for anyone else would only lead to resentment and failure when the tough times hit. I thought about that for a while and it made a lot of sense, I had already experienced that with dipping.
So with that, this quit is about me and I don't mind a bit if that sounds selfish or conceited to you. To me selfish conceit is spending almost $100K on Copenhagen over the last 25 years and gambling with my life. Selfishness and conceit is not using that money to do something for my family.
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Thanks fellas for you time and effort that you put into responding to my post but I'm going to stick with what I have been doing. By posting roll I am simply letting peer pressure motivate the success or failure of my quit and it doesn't work for me because I don't care enough about what people I don't know think of me. I have also tried to quit for my family before and that didn't work either, I only took my frustrations out on them and then used that as an excuse to start back.
In the last four years I have helped coordinate the treatment of 12 alcoholics who were enrolled into various inpatient rehab facilities located in different parts of the world. Each individual that came back, came back saying that their quit was about them. The last individual that I spoke to explained that it had to be about him because doing it for anyone else would only lead to resentment and failure when the tough times hit. I thought about that for a while and it made a lot of sense, I had already experienced that with dipping.
So with that, this quit is about me and I don't mind a bit if that sounds selfish or conceited to you. To me selfish conceit is spending almost $100K on Copenhagen over the last 25 years and gambling with my life. Selfishness and conceit is not using that money to do something for my family.
This addiction is harder than alcohol addiction! But hey, you got this shit just like I did about 700 times in 38 year's! Don't understand a man that helps others but refuses help for himself! Goodluck and trust me your gonna need it!
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Yet, here we are.
There is absolutely a selfish component to our quit. No question about it. We have to care about ourselves and our own well being enough to commit a couple minutes each day to post. Then you have to care enough about yourself to not renege on that promise. Posting roll is not just a promise to a bunch of strangers, it's to yourself first. The fact that promise is made in the public domain, so to speak, lends credence to the act. That's accountability.
All over this site, there are folks at every level of recovery. I'd guess 90% of the folks here are just on cruise control, happy to be free. Sometimes, we see someone struggling a bit so we offer a helping hand, a pat on the back or a word of encouragement. Sometimes, these strangers travel outside their comfort zone and actually meet up. I just saw the other day, some weirdo showed up at another quitter's mom's wake, hundreds of miles away! When someone helps save your life or even just lightens the load, it's pretty cool to be able to look them in the eye and say thanks. That's brotherhood.
My comment about selfishness was in relation to what you've received from the site in comparison to what you've given back. It wasn't meant as an all inclusive character reference. You haven't really addressed that.
Lastly, Cajun, there isn't one way to quit. If trying something different to obtain a different conclusion doesn't appeal to you then just move on. But before you go, answer me this...what is the advantage of alcohol related inpatient facilities? Why can't drunks just dry out on their own?
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Hey folks, I am on my fifth day today but it feels like it's been a month! I have been using for nearly 35 yrs and this is the longest I have went without using. To be honest, I didn't expect to fully quit the other night. I was just going to go until it became too unbearable and then use my emergency stash. Luckily by the time the urge really hit, I was already two days into it and I didn't want to flush my efforts down the drain.
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Hey folks, I am on my fifth day today but it feels like it's been a month! I have been using for nearly 35 yrs and this is the longest I have went without using. To be honest, I didn't expect to fully quit the other night. I was just going to go until it became too unbearable and then use my emergency stash. Luckily by the time the urge really hit, I was already two days into it and I didn't want to flush my efforts down the drain.
Welcome, Cajun! Go to the Welcome Center index.php?showforum=13 (http://forum.killthecan.org/index.php?showforum=13) and read everything, won't take long but it will help you down your path to quit.
This is a 100% nicotine free place, no gum, patches or smokes. You'll post roll in the May 2014 group since you are already a few days quit. Poke around, lots to learn here. Go into Live Chat and ask around. Like you, I dipped for 33 years, now I'm 30 days clean. You can do this, we all are!
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Congrats for signing up...and my experience (73 days) was very much like yours from the sounds of it, pushed myself to hold out for a day or two, found this site, got supported by the members of this site, and boom, here I am 73 days clean after 27 years of chewing. Cannot stress enough how much you need to open yourself up to this initial group of "strangers", but you will not regret it as they become friends and you become QUIT.
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Hey folks, I am on my fifth day today but it feels like it's been a month! I have been using for nearly 35 yrs and this is the longest I have went without using. To be honest, I didn't expect to fully quit the other night. I was just going to go until it became too unbearable and then use my emergency stash. Luckily by the time the urge really hit, I was already two days into it and I didn't want to flush my efforts down the drain.
Welcome, Cajun! Go to the Welcome Center index.php?showforum=13 (http://forum.killthecan.org/index.php?showforum=13) and read everything, won't take long but it will help you down your path to quit.
This is a 100% nicotine free place, no gum, patches or smokes. You'll post roll in the May 2014 group since you are already a few days quit. Poke around, lots to learn here. Go into Live Chat and ask around. Like you, I dipped for 33 years, now I'm 30 days clean. You can do this, we all are!
Welcome Cajun. You made the right move and you are in the right place.
Have you flushed that emergency stash? If not, do that immediately to remove that temptation.
Didn't see your name on roll. That needs to be the first thing you do. That is your commitment to yourself and us that you will be quit today. You will be May 2014 quit group.
Quit with you today.
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This is almost exactly how my quit started. I dumped my supply and once I hit 36 hours I thought to myself, "damn, I have 12 hours to go before I hit 2 days." The hours started adding up and before I new it I had been quit for 6 days; each hour quit being another hour I didn't want to throw away at day 1. It was at that point I found KTC and I've been quit ever since. Door is open, you get out of it what you put into itÂ…just know that when you post roll, you better hold true to your word. Promise to quit for that day and don't break that promise. I may sound like I'm being a hardass, it's because I'm being a hardassÂ…why? because I want you to quit.
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Good to hear your quit. I too dipped for about thirty five years or so. Remember to read as much as you can . Post roll every day. I look forward to quuiting with you not only today but for many more days in the future. ODAAT NAFAR. One day ata a time, never again for any reason.... I quit with you today. read and post roll...
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Hey folks, I am on my fifth day today but it feels like it's been a month! I have been using for nearly 35 yrs and this is the longest I have went without using. To be honest, I didn't expect to fully quit the other night. I was just going to go until it became too unbearable and then use my emergency stash. Luckily by the time the urge really hit, I was already two days into it and I didn't want to flush my efforts down the drain.
Hey there I'm on day 192 and I can tell you it gets easier each day. Just keep quit day by day and you will find that the mind does clear of the fog. YOU can beat it my friend just believe in yourself.
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Hey folks, I am on my fifth day today but it feels like it's been a month! I have been using for nearly 35 yrs and this is the longest I have went without using. To be honest, I didn't expect to fully quit the other night. I was just going to go until it became too unbearable and then use my emergency stash. Luckily by the time the urge really hit, I was already two days into it and I didn't want to flush my efforts down the drain.
Hey there I'm on day 192 and I can tell you it gets easier each day. Just keep quit day by day and you will find that the mind does clear of the fog. YOU can beat it my friend just believe in yourself.
I'd like to hear a little more passion. Maybe I'm a glass half empty guy, but your verbiage comes across as not fully committed. I hope I'm off base. Actions will speak louder than words in the end. Though there is no endgame with success, only with failure. Don't be that guy. Quit hard brother!! I quit with you today.
Make sure you post every day. You will if you're committed.
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Hey folks, I am on my fifth day today but it feels like it's been a month! I have been using for nearly 35 yrs and this is the longest I have went without using. To be honest, I didn't expect to fully quit the other night. I was just going to go until it became too unbearable and then use my emergency stash. Luckily by the time the urge really hit, I was already two days into it and I didn't want to flush my efforts down the drain.
Hey there I'm on day 192 and I can tell you it gets easier each day. Just keep quit day by day and you will find that the mind does clear of the fog. YOU can beat it my friend just believe in yourself.
I'd like to hear a little more passion. Maybe I'm a glass half empty guy, but your verbiage comes across as not fully committed. I hope I'm off base. Actions will speak louder than words in the end. Though there is no endgame with success, only with failure. Don't be that guy. Quit hard brother!! I quit with you today.
Make sure you post every day. You will if you're committed.
Do you still have your emergency stash?
If yes, flush it down the toilet...now!
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QUOTE (grizzlyhasclaws @ Feb 22, 2014, 1:02 pm)
QUOTE (BearHawk @ Feb 22, 2014, 1:19 pm)
QUOTE (CAJUN @ Feb 22, 2014, 11:33 am)
Hey folks, I am on my fifth day today but it feels like it's been a month! I have been using for nearly 35 yrs and this is the longest I have went without using. To be honest, I didn't expect to fully quit the other night. I was just going to go until it became too unbearable and then use my emergency stash. Luckily by the time the urge really hit, I was already two days into it and I didn't want to flush my efforts down the drain.
Hey there I'm on day 192 and I can tell you it gets easier each day. Just keep quit day by day and you will find that the mind does clear of the fog. YOU can beat it my friend just believe in yourself.
I'd like to hear a little more passion. Maybe I'm a glass half empty guy, but your verbiage comes across as not fully committed. I hope I'm off base. Actions will speak louder than words in the end. Though there is no endgame with success, only with failure. Don't be that guy. Quit hard brother!! I quit with you today.
Make sure you post every day. You will if you're committed.
Do you still have your emergency stash?
If yes, flush it down the toilet...now!
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I never finish anythi
Failure is the path of least resistance
Thanks for those who offered encouragement, I appreciate it and it helps motivate me. As for the fella that would like to hear more passion.... I guess I can't knock you for being honest but I just can't find a positive thing to say about your comment... Thanks and take it easy folks!
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Stay Quit ---- get rid of your stash
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Cajun, you've got to commit! You have to make the DECISSION to quit and stay quit. It's hard, but you can do it.
Throw away the stash and fully commit!
BTW, I'm on day 6 and chewed for 33 years, so I know what you are going thru. PM me if I can help.
Dave
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QUOTE (grizzlyhasclaws @ Feb 22, 2014, 1:02 pm)
QUOTE (BearHawk @ Feb 22, 2014, 1:19 pm)
QUOTE (CAJUN @ Feb 22, 2014, 11:33 am)
Hey folks, I am on my fifth day today but it feels like it's been a month! I have been using for nearly 35 yrs and this is the longest I have went without using. To be honest, I didn't expect to fully quit the other night. I was just going to go until it became too unbearable and then use my emergency stash. Luckily by the time the urge really hit, I was already two days into it and I didn't want to flush my efforts down the drain.
Hey there I'm on day 192 and I can tell you it gets easier each day. Just keep quit day by day and you will find that the mind does clear of the fog. YOU can beat it my friend just believe in yourself.
I'd like to hear a little more passion. Maybe I'm a glass half empty guy, but your verbiage comes across as not fully committed. I hope I'm off base. Actions will speak louder than words in the end. Though there is no endgame with success, only with failure. Don't be that guy. Quit hard brother!! I quit with you today.
Make sure you post every day. You will if you're committed.
Do you still have your emergency stash?
If yes, flush it down the toilet...now!
--------------------
I never finish anythi
Failure is the path of least resistance
Thanks for those who offered encouragement, I appreciate it and it helps motivate me. As for the fella that would like to hear more passion.... I guess I can't knock you for being honest but I just can't find a positive thing to say about your comment... Thanks and take it easy folks!
Well goodness. I'm sorry friend. Good job quitting, but having an emergency stash on hand does not sound committed. Are you going to puss out after 5 days because I hurt your little feelings? Or are you going to sack up and flush that shit? For goodness' sake be a fucking man and commit to saving your own life.
And post roll. Sorry I hurt your feelings. Flush it!!!
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Don't have a lot to add except you are no different than any of us. We are all addicts period. 125 days ago I decided I had enough and put down a 25 year plus habit. The people here can help you save your life, but you have to post roll every damn day, and keep your promise. We take that very seriously here
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Look up at he top of this page. Under the bold black line is "Inbox". I sent you a message earlier. Go check that out. And hey. If you have any stash left, you have to flush it and rinse the can out completely. If you dump it in the trash, you could be digging it out, and swiping up enough to make a dip out of. Been there. Done that. And that is all the proof you need that this my friend is an addiction. Plain and simple. And here we are taking our freedom back, one day at a time.
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Definitely flush it. I didn't and scoured the trash. Such an embarrassing way to start over.
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Looks like you've been missing for 4 straight days...