KillTheCan.org Accountability Forum
Community => Introductions => Topic started by: nixon on April 13, 2016, 10:33:00 PM
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Hi folks,
I need some help. My chewing problem is starting to effect my marriage. I promised my wife last time I was "caught" that it was the last time. I continued to lie to her face over and over saying that I was doing fine, etc. Busted again. I don't know why I continue to think it's okay to lie about this addiction. I would try to make up excuses as to why I did it, why I lie about it, etc. I've been around smokers and dippers my entire life and it has always been a part me. I quit chewing and smoking several times successfully, however, I keep coming back for more. I don't know why. I'm facing a very serious issue with my wife and it obviously means more to me than a morning buzz. Help!
Best,
Jon
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Nixon. You have come to the right place.
1). Flush ALL YOUR CANS ..NOW. Get rid of it
2) Get on over and visit July quit group. Learn how to post roll call. Introduce yourself. Just like here
3) This is going to be tough, but you can do it. You have to commit to quitting ODAAT - one day at a time. And post your daily quit promise to your brothers in July by posting roll
4). Dive into the site. Read all the stuff from July. There's is some interesting stuff going on. Also read the HOF speeches.
Fix your quit date on your profile to the day you quit. WHICH IS GOING TO BE TOMORROW.
Don't quit for anyone but you right now. Let your wife know what you are doing. And hat it is going to be tough. And ask for support.
Remember, dump the cans you have right now.
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Thanks for reply. I'll try to figure all of this out. It's a bit confusing (and I'm a web developer).
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Thanks for reply. I'll try to figure all of this out. It's a bit confusing (and I'm a web developer).
For now, just read up. It is a nicotine free forum so no cigars, cigs, etc.. Once you have dumped them then you can post.
Brother I quit -10 times over 25 years. Always came back too. Why? Because I am an addict. Plain and simple. Sounds like you are too, but that's for you to admit.
Some of my quits were for years at a time too. People in my quit group are just like me. My story is a lot like yours.
What I am trying to say is that everyone on here has something to learn from each other, and no matter how much you think your situation will be unique to you-- wrong.
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Hi folks,
I need some help. My chewing problem is starting to effect my marriage. I promised my wife last time I was "caught" that it was the last time. I continued to lie to her face over and over saying that I was doing fine, etc. Busted again. I don't know why I continue to think it's okay to lie about this addiction. I would try to make up excuses as to why I did it, why I lie about it, etc. I've been around smokers and dippers my entire life and it has always been a part me. I quit chewing and smoking several times successfully, however, I keep coming back for more. I don't know why. I'm facing a very serious issue with my wife and it obviously means more to me than a morning buzz. Help!
Best,
Jon
Nixon man I know the feeling. I let the addiction get in the way of my marriage for years but luckily I came to my senses. You can do this and we can help you, but you have to really want this quit. Just post roll in the morning and give your promise that you won't use for the day. Then repeat one day at a time. You can do this man take back your life and marriage
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The point that I'll emphasize is that you have to quit for yourself. Not for your wife. Not for your marriage. Not so you won't get in trouble again. For yourself.
If you quit for your wife, you will only resent her later on, and cave to spite her.
Quit for you, and stay quit.
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I'm amazed already of the support. I've tried other support groups with no reply. It sounds like you folks are, well, really here to support one another. That's huge. I understand 100% that it's not to get in trouble (although that's often times the outcome). I have to want to do it. It sounds so terrible, however, I choose this over my marriage, my kids. It's stupid. My wife has been so willing to help if I would just be honest with her. I feel like a total failure as a husband (and human for that matter). It's so incredibly dumb that I make these decisions. Thanks again for the support already.. I can do this. Dumping the can right now.
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I'm amazed already of the support. I've tried other support groups with no reply. It sounds like you folks are, well, really here to support one another. That's huge. I understand 100% that it's not to get in trouble (although that's often times the outcome). I have to want to do it. It sounds so terrible, however, I choose this over my marriage, my kids. It's stupid. My wife has been so willing to help if I would just be honest with her. I feel like a total failure as a husband (and human for that matter). It's so incredibly dumb that I make these decisions. Thanks again for the support already.. I can do this. Dumping the can right now.
Yea buddy! Do it. It is rough and will possibly kick your ass at times. We all "stopped" many times. I never bought a log of cope because every can was my "last" for nearly 20 years. I also lied to my wife, coworkers, family, students, and friends. I stayed up late nearly every night to get my fix. Sad shit and we have all done it over and over. If you need anything, check your PM in top right corner of page. I'll listen if you need to rant during the fog of these early days. Quit with us Nix. It starts right now. Day 652 for me. Best decision I ever made.
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Flushed. Sounds so damn trivial and cliche. Pathetic almost. So glad I decided to do this and especially join this group. Amazing.
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Nixon great first step.
I have been right where you are...I found including my wife in my quit, really helped to resolve the issues of hiding my addiction to nicotine.
Focus on one day at a time, which is all you can control.
I quit with you today, and if you need more support send me a pm.
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Been there, done that brother. I was a ninja dipper for 30 years and although it may not have cost me my marriage directly it definitely contributed to the trust problems that ended it. Listen to the guys that brought their wife in on the deal. I didn't and because I didn't have the accountability, all I did was pause my intake for a few months. Then it was right back to hiding from my family again. Having her involved will help both of you I think. My first wife didn't understand that Nic is an addiction. Hell, for that matter neither did I at the time. If you can bring her into your quit then hopefully she will see how hard it is and you can start repairing some of the damage done over the years. Either way, this is a great first step. I'm proud to quit with you.
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OK Nix, time to post. Now that you have dumped your cans and I see you lurking down there. You WANT to quit so fucking do it!!
Go to COMMUNITY QUIT GROUPS Look for JULY 2016 should be here topic/11568995/179/ (http://forum.killthecan.org/topic/11568995/179/)
Click ADD REPLY, type something in, or follow the direction on the front page. Post liek this:
NIXON Day 1
All the way a the bottom, but above the SUPPORTERS section. Or jsut ask the guys in there to help you. Get on with it bro, set yourself free!
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Been there, done that brother. I was a ninja dipper for 30 years and although it may not have cost me my marriage directly it definitely contributed to the trust problems that ended it. Listen to the guys that brought their wife in on the deal. I didn't and because I didn't have the accountability, all I did was pause my intake for a few months. Then it was right back to hiding from my family again. Having her involved will help both of you I think. My first wife didn't understand that Nic is an addiction. Hell, for that matter neither did I at the time. If you can bring her into your quit then hopefully she will see how hard it is and you can start repairing some of the damage done over the years. Either way, this is a great first step. I'm proud to quit with you.
Thanks, Matlock. The damage is done. My wife has asked me to keep in her involved in my quitting several times and I continued to ignore the request. There's no more trust left so.. not a good feeling of trying to quit while your wife hates you. I accept the challenge, however.
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Been there, done that brother. I was a ninja dipper for 30 years and although it may not have cost me my marriage directly it definitely contributed to the trust problems that ended it. Listen to the guys that brought their wife in on the deal. I didn't and because I didn't have the accountability, all I did was pause my intake for a few months. Then it was right back to hiding from my family again. Having her involved will help both of you I think. My first wife didn't understand that Nic is an addiction. Hell, for that matter neither did I at the time. If you can bring her into your quit then hopefully she will see how hard it is and you can start repairing some of the damage done over the years. Either way, this is a great first step. I'm proud to quit with you.
Thanks, Matlock. The damage is done. My wife has asked me to keep in her involved in my quitting several times and I continued to ignore the request. There's no more trust left so.. not a good feeling of trying to quit while your wife hates you. I accept the challenge, however.
She doesn't hate you....That's just another Lie from Nic trying to make it harder on you.
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Daisy is absolutely correct. Addiction will make you think things so you can go back to 'Ol Reliable' .
It will also make us think things about our body. Jaw hurts now because of no dip. put dip in and soon it is aleviated. Purely the addiction talking. No, not saying don't hit the doctor. Please, do so. Just some things without an explanation have an explanation.
Here comes the 'FUN' or as we like to call it the suck. Get yourself tons of water and some fruit juices. The water helps flush your system and gives your body a better chance of dealing with the suck.
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I'm amazed already of the support. I've tried other support groups with no reply. It sounds like you folks are, well, really here to support one another. That's huge. I understand 100% that it's not to get in trouble (although that's often times the outcome). I have to want to do it. It sounds so terrible, however, I choose this over my marriage, my kids. It's stupid. My wife has been so willing to help if I would just be honest with her. I feel like a total failure as a husband (and human for that matter). It's so incredibly dumb that I make these decisions. Thanks again for the support already.. I can do this. Dumping the can right now.
Nixon - you gotta stop beating yourself up right now and get pissed at this addiction and what it's doing to your life. We're all a bunch of dumbasses in here or we wouldn't be in here. But the fact of the matter is that you and I and all of us are trying to kill a serious addiction and that means you have to get angry and steel your resolve, right now. No looking back. I've been addicted to this poison for 26 years - I'm now 88 days quit and I owe every bit of that to this site and to having the right attitude about what I'm dealing with and facing. Here is something I wrote early on in my quit and posted, maybe it will help turn your attitude toward defeating this addiction rather than letting it defeat you...
Your Best Friend? (http://forum.killthecan.org/topic/11505226/)
Get active, read as much as you can on this site, join your group and post roll EVERY morning. Explain to your wife what you're doing, show her the site, tell her you're serious this time and mean it, and tell her that you need her support, then quit one day at a time!
You can do this!
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Nixon bro, I aint gonna beg, this is up to you to make the move. Get pissed is exactly right. Get busy livin or get busy dyin (Red).
You love the support yes, but trust me unless you get over and post in July the support will be waning. Every minute you put off posting roll and joining the quit group is another minute wasted.
This shit works!
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Hey Nixon! Nice job posting roll man! You are on your way brother. I quit with you today. See you on roll call tomorrow. Post back here every now and again let us know how you are doing!
Best decision you ever made. It may feel like hell right now. But it is worth the pain. Freedom awaits
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Hey Nixon! Nice job posting roll man! You are on your way brother. I quit with you today. See you on roll call tomorrow. Post back here every now and again let us know how you are doing!
Best decision you ever made. It may feel like hell right now. But it is worth the pain. Freedom awaits
Awesome! Welcome aboard.
You can do this. I cheated on my wife for 25 years with the Kodiak bear. Freedom is indescribable.
One day at a time bro. Quit with you!
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Nixon....
Support like this comes around once in a lifetime.
Use it sir.
These people will save your life.
Dont ever look back.
Fight it head on....just today.
All day long.
I Quit with you.
Rawls 517
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Nix my brother, how are you feeling? Toxins are beginning to filter out of the body and the mind in beginning re-wire mode I bet.
I am proud of you. There are cloudy foggy days along the way, but each day, each hour, each minute without that poison you are winning the battle. Win the small battles, EDD.
Quit on!!
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OK Nixon, I understand there was a NIC cave. Don't worry about the bashers, that is part of the all around service you get here. Not all of us are bashers.
The most important thing is you get your ass back on here, and into August. Admit your mistake. Own up to it, answer the questions thoughtfully and personally.
Get back on roll and lets do this. Are you ready this time? Really Ready?
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OK Nixon, I understand there was a NIC cave. Don't worry about the bashers, that is part of the all around service you get here. Not all of us are bashers.
The most important thing is you get your ass back on here, and into August. Admit your mistake. Own up to it, answer the questions thoughtfully and personally.
Get back on roll and lets do this. Are you ready this time? Really Ready?
Bashers are guys that do not offer a hand up.
Nixon you dig deep and show me how much you want to be quit, then I will support you 100% 24 hrs at a time
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Success Story in Progress! Nice job on 3-6-5 brother, keep it up!
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Success Story in Progress! Nice job on 3-6-5 brother, keep it up!
A true milestone! Nice!