KillTheCan.org Accountability Forum
Community => Introductions => Topic started by: marshmaddness on March 14, 2013, 03:27:00 PM
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I'm 38 years old and a father of 3. As I am struggling to deal with the flood of emotions on day two of quitting, I'm amazed with the thought that I have been doing this shit for over half of my life. I started when I was 17 years old and at least a can a day for the last 12 years. I have been knowing I need to quit for years, and have tried many times. Funny thing is that in every attempt to stop, I have never made it through the day without caving and buying a can. I'm not sure why now is different, I just know I have the resolve to not dip...... Now on day two, or day one, first full day as I took a pinch yesterday morning before throwing the can way, I feel like a bumbling, can't think straight, angry ass. I'm doing the best I can to keep my family shielded. That's the hard part, they do not deserve my wrath (for lack of a better word). I will remain dip free.........
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Agreed. The family does not deserve your wrath, they deserve a lot better. They did nothing wrong. When rage hits get on here and bitch at us. Or bitch via phone, text, email, or PM. If you need a number just ask. We can take it. We've all been through it. On the bright side, it gets easier.
They say it takes 3 days for the nic to leave your bloodstream. You can help that by drinking a lot of water to help flush it out. After that, it becomes a mind game of habits. No more driving with a dip in. No more shittin n dippin. No more anything with a dip in. Never again. Not for any reason. (some really badass quitter said that and it stuck with me)
Read all that you can, start in the Welcome Center (http://forum.killthecan.org/index.php?showforum=13). I found that reading intros was a crave killer when I saw that I wasn't the only one going through the same thing. Reading the Hall of Fame speeches was another tool to remain quit as well as being an inspiration.
Wecome aboard. Get to know these guys. You can do this. Help and support are just a PM away.
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Great choice, Marsh!!! Click on the "Welcome Center" link above and start reading. Learn how to post roll, find your Quit Group, and post up. Then, all you have to do is stay quit for today.
That's right...just today. In fact, don't think about tomorrow, next week, next year, etc. We'll deal with them when they get here. Just focus on right now...staying quit for today. Anybody can go one day, right?
What you're experiencing is normal and expected. You're in the fog. Those withdrawal symptoms are the feeling of healing, brother. Embrace them. They are a privilege. You GET to feel this shitty because you made the decision to save your own life. It's an honor.
YOU CAN DO THIS!!!
Excercise, water, mints, fake snuff...whatever it takes...just no nicotine. So, post roll, read all you can, and live free.
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Welcome to it Marsh, Evil Bean, those guys are some bad ass quitters, they are teaching me to be a bad ass quitter too!
Next few days are going to suck Buddy, but as Bean said just today is all we ask. Then tomorrow we can go again. I quit with you today!
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Welcome Marsh! We are the same age and our dip history is similar as well. I was the biggest dipping degenerate in the world. The past few years I was getting up to 2 cans a day. Pathetic I know....
I am now Day 106. I am a HOF member of March. My point is if I can QUIT. YOU can QUIT!!! It's possible b/c I am doing it one day at a time. My wife just told me last night how good my teeth look. Who me?? The nicotine man...Mr. baseball dude with the dip in his mouth....white teeth?? Fuck yes!! I hate fucking chew....I HATE IT. I love my family so much. I love driving by the gas station for work. I love collecting $20.00 bills.
Grind it out buddy. I buckle every single fucking day. Some people say after 10 days it gets better. For me......not so much. I struggle every fucking day. But I love kicking the can's ass. The nic bitch whispers to me but her voice is not pretty anymore and it's getting softer and weaker.
Good luck. This is possible for you. Welcome to freedom from the bitch.
KC Bronco aka Jason
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I'm 38 years old and a father of 3. As I am struggling to deal with the flood of emotions on day two of quitting, I'm amazed with the thought that I have been doing this shit for over half of my life. I started when I was 17 years old and at least a can a day for the last 12 years. I have been knowing I need to quit for years, and have tried many times. Funny thing is that in every attempt to stop, I have never made it through the day without caving and buying a can. I'm not sure why now is different, I just know I have the resolve to not dip...... Now on day two, or day one, first full day as I took a pinch yesterday morning before throwing the can way, I feel like a bumbling, can't think straight, angry ass. free.........
I'm doing the best I can to keep my family shielded. That's the hard part, they do not deserve my wrath (for lack of a better word).
Wrath is the perfect word! A BAQ told me that he pictures his cravings like someone has broken into his home at night, and is sneaking around getting ready to harm his little girl. Take all the wrath, irritation, and direct it towards your craving. KILL it! If someone was creeping into your home, ready to kill your family what would you do? Nicotine wants to kill and destroy your family by taking our the only father your kids know. Nicotine is a clear and present danger to you and your tribe. KILL it! If you need help, reach out, get numbers and call. We are all here to hold you up and support you.
Phil16
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I was as a golf tournament this weekend with my wife. My Hooch was in the pocket for bad craves as I was sure they would hit me at less than two weeks into my quit, and they did. We ran into an old friend of mine and his wife, whom we don't get a chance to see that often. For the last few years, we really only see each other during the tournament. As we were talking and catching up on each other's happenings, we find out that my friend is 5 months into his personal quit. At that point the conversation immediately leans in the direction of the quit. The stories that our wives told about us were near identical. The childlike temper tantrums, the rage, etc..... We all know the drill. I was glad that my wife had someone to talk with regarding her side of the quit, as I know it has not been easy on her. After swapping stories this weekend, the wives are convinced that they need to write a book to forewarn all other wives of potential quitters. What to Expect When your Husband is a Quitter.............. I must admit, it's probably not a bad idea.
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Nice post. I've said it time and time again here that wives must be involved and informed. Aside from finding KTC, getting my wife REALLY involved was the most important thing in my quit. If they write that book, they can contact Mrs. Radman and I can guarantee she'll join the braintrust.
Quit on, sir.
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I was as a golf tournament this weekend with my wife. My Hooch was in the pocket for bad craves as I was sure they would hit me at less than two weeks into my quit, and they did. We ran into an old friend of mine and his wife, whom we don't get a chance to see that often. For the last few years, we really only see each other during the tournament. As we were talking and catching up on each other's happenings, we find out that my friend is 5 months into his personal quit. At that point the conversation immediately leans in the direction of the quit. The stories that our wives told about us were near identical. The childlike temper tantrums, the rage, etc..... We all know the drill. I was glad that my wife had someone to talk with regarding her side of the quit, as I know it has not been easy on her. After swapping stories this weekend, the wives are convinced that they need to write a book to forewarn all other wives of potential quitters. What to Expect When your Husband is a Quitter.............. I must admit, it's probably not a bad idea.
So true, and I am glad I got my wife involved this time. However she has said sinc eI quit for me this time not her, it has been a lot better. Stay quit borthers, I quit with you today!
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I was as a golf tournament this weekend with my wife. My Hooch was in the pocket for bad craves as I was sure they would hit me at less than two weeks into my quit, and they did. We ran into an old friend of mine and his wife, whom we don't get a chance to see that often. For the last few years, we really only see each other during the tournament. As we were talking and catching up on each other's happenings, we find out that my friend is 5 months into his personal quit. At that point the conversation immediately leans in the direction of the quit. The stories that our wives told about us were near identical. The childlike temper tantrums, the rage, etc..... We all know the drill. I was glad that my wife had someone to talk with regarding her side of the quit, as I know it has not been easy on her. After swapping stories this weekend, the wives are convinced that they need to write a book to forewarn all other wives of potential quitters. What to Expect When your Husband is a Quitter.............. I must admit, it's probably not a bad idea.
Great idea. Unless your wife is a nicotine addict herself, she will never understand what it's like to be addicted to it, let alone to come off of it. I know mine has never understood it.
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What would you guys say to wives? I'm a girlfriend of a recent quitter...we're 2 days in. He's tried a handful of times, but has never had a partner involved. I want to be as supportive as I possibly can. I've read about what it's like and he's told me a lot too. Do you have any other advice? He has chosen to quit, it did not come from me, but I continue to tell him how proud of him I am! I do not use, nor have I ever used nicotine so I understand that I will have no clue what it's like.
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What would you guys say to wives? I'm a girlfriend of a recent quitter...we're 2 days in. He's tried a handful of times, but has never had a partner involved. I want to be as supportive as I possibly can. I've read about what it's like and he's told me a lot too. Do you have any other advice? He has chosen to quit, it did not come from me, but I continue to tell him how proud of him I am! I do not use, nor have I ever used nicotine so I understand that I will have no clue what it's like.
check this link out: http://www.killthecan.org/community/spouse.asp (http://www.killthecan.org/community/spouse.asp)
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I did read that prior to his quit date, thank you.
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I did read that prior to his quit date, thank you.
In that case, send him here, if he doesn't want to use ktc that's fine but it's one hell of a tool. Cut him some slack - it is tough and you don't understand unless you've quit nicotine yourself. with that being said don't let him use it as an excuse either, yeah it's tough but tough shit, he wouldn't have to deal with quitting if he didn't start in the first place, it's all on him. Again, the best thing I've found is this site, it gives a place to talk to and rage at guys who have been there - much better than giving you hell... Hope this helps a bit.
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Nice story and I think there is a section on this site for spouses of quitters.
Also, try to keep one intro and just add to it.
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Ok guys. Happy easter to everyone. I know that to each their own, but I think I have found out the reason for not using the fake as a quitting aide. Here I am sitting at home on Easter Sunday, out of fake, and no way of getting it as they don't sell it all everywhere as you guys well know. I feel like, I am back at day one of quoting, with the craving. I will not fail, I've come to damn far, but all I can say is wow. These craves are fucking intense............
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Ok guys. Happy easter to everyone. I know that to each their own, but I think I have found out the reason for not using the fake as a quitting aide. Here I am sitting at home on Easter Sunday, out of fake, and no way of getting it as they don't sell it all everywhere as you guys well know. I feel like, I am back at day one of quoting, with the craving. I will not fail, I've come to damn far, but all I can say is wow. These craves are fucking intense............
A crave will fade. Cancer will fucking kill you. I know they are a bitch, but realize you are doing right. Grind it out. Each crave you beat is a little victory. Eventually those little victories add up and before you know it your craves will be less and less, and when they do come, you will be able to dismiss them with relative ease.
It gets better.
I promise.
Never again, my friend.
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Ok guys. Happy easter to everyone. I know that to each their own, but I think I have found out the reason for not using the fake as a quitting aide. Here I am sitting at home on Easter Sunday, out of fake, and no way of getting it as they don't sell it all everywhere as you guys well know. I feel like, I am back at day one of quoting, with the craving. I will not fail, I've come to damn far, but all I can say is wow. These craves are fucking intense............
A crave will fade. Cancer will fucking kill you.
Good stuff, simple yet powerful wording!
I quit with you!
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Ok guys. Happy easter to everyone. I know that to each their own, but I think I have found out the reason for not using the fake as a quitting aide. Here I am sitting at home on Easter Sunday, out of fake, and no way of getting it as they don't sell it all everywhere as you guys well know. I feel like, I am back at day one of quoting, with the craving. I will not fail, I've come to damn far, but all I can say is wow. These craves are fucking intense............
Sunflower seeds, coffee grounds, herbal tea, chewing gum, hard candy and many other things can be stuffed into your face. Anything but that tobacco. It's not worth it ever again.
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Marsh - I imagine that if your wives sit down to write a book about how shitty quitting husbands can be, it will eventually turn into how much more awesome of a husband a quit addict is compared to an actively using addict. So, you really don't need 30 minutes to shit after allÂ…
Serenity - All relationships are different. Here's how illogical the mind of a quitter can be: you say "I'm so proud of you, baby" and he may hear "my encouragement is a passive aggressive reminder that you better not fuck up this time, I'm watching youÂ…". That said, I highly recommend that you tell him you're proud of him, but definitely let him initiate quit talk. Probably not a good idea to ask him how his quit's going because even if he's caved, he'll probably tell you everything's fine. Just give him his room and don't overreact to any assholishness. It will pass. And if he's not on this site, get him here. This site is the greatest gift you can give to any quitter. If he buys in to the personal accountability, he can fight any crave. Working for me, and I'm a total dick.
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Marsh - I imagine that if your wives sit down to write a book about how shitty quitting husbands can be, it will eventually turn into how much more awesome of a husband a quit addict is compared to an actively using addict. So, you really don't need 30 minutes to shit after allÂ…
Serenity - All relationships are different. Here's how illogical the mind of a quitter can be: you say "I'm so proud of you, baby" and he may hear "my encouragement is a passive aggressive reminder that you better not fuck up this time, I'm watching youÂ…". That said, I highly recommend that you tell him you're proud of him, but definitely let him initiate quit talk. Probably not a good idea to ask him how his quit's going because even if he's caved, he'll probably tell you everything's fine. Just give him his room and don't overreact to any assholishness. It will pass. And if he's not on this site, get him here. This site is the greatest gift you can give to any quitter. If he buys in to the personal accountability, he can fight any crave. Working for me, and I'm a total dick.
I'll vouch that smokey is a total dick and if this site can work for him, your husband needs to get here post haste.
Honestly, if your husband wants to be quit this time next year, he will be on this site and involved and posting roll daily. Other than that, I see his chances of becoming a non-using addict as less than 20%.