KillTheCan.org Accountability Forum
Community => Introductions => Topic started by: dougski23 on December 14, 2011, 02:10:00 AM
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I quit for 4 days ago, 12/9/11, as soon as I got out of the store. I was Christmas shopping with my wife for our kids. When I turned the corner I seen an older man who was shopping himself, he appeared to be missing part of his bottom jaw. I tried not stare, I had no idea if he had ever chewed in his life but I wasn't about to ask. Regardless of why he was missing part of his jaw, I knew at that moment that I was done. I couldn't wait to get out of the store to spit out the small chew I had in my mouth.
Now that wasn't really a spur of the moment thing, I had been agonizing about quitting since I turned 40, it's now a year, 2 months, and 6 days later. After a half ass attempt to quit a week after my 40th birthday I decided to give myself another year or two. As a matter a fact I started thinking I would just chance it. I was gonna be the guy that lived to be 90 and still chewed. I just loved it too much. Why quit?
After I decided I loved it too much to quit I felt great. I started chewing more often than I ever had. The chews got bigger and I was happy for awhile. But something inside me felt wrong. I never told anyone I wanted to quit at 40, or that I had tried to quit, but I knew inside that I did. The thought of cancer started to become a daily thought. It's horrible to die of cancer, but when it's your own damn fault then it is just sad. I would go a few weeks and not think about it, but something would always bring it back into my mind. Any little sore, a sore throat, an upset stomach, it was cancer. Then it would go away and I felt good again, no cancer.
About a month ago this battle in my head became non-stop. The only answer was to quit but I didn't want to, or was afraid to fail again. So I made a deal with myself to cut way back. Just a little pinch between the cheek and gum, and I would try and wait till I really wanted a chew. I had managed to get down to a can about every 5 days. Then I seen that man buying toys, missing part of his jaw. It was like a sign, or a look in to my future. You know it says it right on the can that it causes cancer, but seeing is believing.
Since it is now after midnight it is technically day 5. I worry because it has been easy so far. I have had some cravings but not bad. I am getting a little sore on my lip, which I have read is normal after quitting. Is it cancer? I hope not, but somehow I feel better knowing that I quit.
Thank you all for this site, I felt great after reading your posts and seeing I am not the only one. And thanks for letting me write my little story. I have not told my wife yet that I quit, it would be the final step of sealing the deal I guess. I will tell her I quit and she will be proud of me, but she will never know how weak I was and the battle I have had in my head.
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Doug,
Great choice! Congrats on 5 days quit!
Here is what sucessful quitters do:
#1 Post roll first thing in the morning---make your promise--keep your word of honor
#2 Repeat #1 every morning and keep your word
#3 Educate yourself by reading everything on this site---INTROS, Words of Wisodm, Group threads and all the additional information.
#4 exchange numbers with people on this site and use this site for support (hint go to chat when you need to). Also have an off site support system--wife friends and family
#5 Have an anti-cave plan--actual write out every thing you will do before sticking the cancer in your mouth. Let cancer pics and stories be a part of that plan along with texting people and calling fellow quitters.
No cavers--once you post roll for the first time, you are in the brotherhood and you have the support of thousands of sucessful quitters.
Cograts you are QUIT!
Pm me if you need anything
LL
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What LL says is the way to do it! I did 124 days ago! You'll meet some crazy bastards on this site too.......but they honestly care about each other and want you to succeed in your quit! Post role and join the quit brotherhood!
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Welcome!
LLcope said it all....
Check your inbox(1)
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The final step in sealing the deal would be a roll call post in March 2012.
Post roll, keep your word for 24hrs, repeat. A system, if followed, proven never to fail.
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You need to post roll with March 2012 and add some accountability to this if you want to be successful. I lied to myself many times about quitting.
If you truly are serious, you'll post roll.
Whacko is right, you'll make some friendships on this site that will last a lifetime. I am blessed to have my quit brothers sisters supporting me daily.
Jump on in, the water is fine...
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Doug,
Did you post roll yesterday? That was number one on the list.
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'Popcorn'
Guess he wasn't ready.
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He "loves" it too much
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Jump in the water cold you coward.