KillTheCan.org Accountability Forum
Community => Introductions => Topic started by: dwight on November 24, 2016, 02:09:00 PM
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Started when I was 15, dipped a can a day until November 18th, 2016. I got tired of being nicotine's bitch. I want to be free of this stupid addiction. I'm tired of being addicted to anything. I want to feel normal again, which I know will probably never happen again, but I want to be normalish again. No more hiding, no more replying to the "anything else?" from the gas clerk, no more cleaning my dip fingers off on the inside of my flannels, or carrying out huge trash bags full of spitters. No more just stuffing my face full of tobacco just because I'm bored. No more watching my gums recede. No more "treating" myself to Kodiak on "hard days". No more.
The irony of this all is that nicotine is a secondary metabolite of tobacco, yeah, that means its supposed to make us not use it. Because, you know, it's poison. Why would I even start that? Because I'm stupid. Why would I cave? Because I'm stupid. This isn't about money, cancer, or anything else for me. That's all secondary benefits. This is about making nicotine my bitch. I want control of my life. The craves/anxiety may suck and I may not psychically sleep better at night, but there's pride in that pain. I just want to be the best person I can be and that person doesn't have a can in their pocket.
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You've got the right attitude. Now it's just a matter of sustaining that through the suck and beyond.
Keep posting roll first thing every day. Reach out when you need to. Refuse to cave. That's how we do it.
I'm proud to quit with you.
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I love this attitude Dwight...you are certainly on the right path, and this site will definitely help!! I'm on day 11, and Bc of the support from this site I know I will stat quit! If you need any digits, pm me and I'll be available anytime! It sounded weird for me to give my number out, but it works!! Our February group is pretty awesome and I still haven't gotten to know all of them yet. I look forward to quitting with you
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All great reasons to be quit. Welcome to the best decision you can make for a healthier life. Post roll early and build your accountability. Again welcome.
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I like it Dwight. No more of the bs that we turned our lives into. I am right there with you, went cold turkey on Nov 23rd, 2016. I'm just losing my mind right now, I can't believe the hold this sh*t has on me. It honestly makes me feel so terrible to be dominated by something so dumb. Like I downloaded this app called dip quit and you can punch in the statistics of your usage. I have spent over 12,000 $ on dip... I'm paying an arm and a leg to get dominated by something? Man, I feel like a dumbass for this sh*t, it's gotta get sorted out and I'm the only one who can do it.
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You said you know you'll never feel normal again. Let me tell you, that is a lie straight from the voice of nicotine and addiction. You can and will feel normal after enough time. I do. I am 1191 days quit today. That means not one dip, not one pinch, not even standing down wind from a smoker, or eating in smokey restaurants, or smokey bars. Your mind will play games on you. You will learn the depths of the physical part of addiction and also both the physiological and physiological parts as well. The thing in all this that you have to commit to is that you will not use any for any reason ever again. That covers everything that life will throw your way. Time and life will heal you and soon you will be right as rain. All I have to offer you is my personal experience here. And this is what I have received. If I, a 35 year dipper that was never able to walk away for even a day, can do it here at KTC, so can you. Welcome.
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Welcome, glad to quit with you today.
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Wow my brother! You have some badass quitters already on your side! Im a 38 year user and I've been quit 703 days and if I can do it so can you! But like my brothers before me said it takes a commitment and not a jalfass want to or caving because your dog dies, etc....This is Im done and that's the end, no more, no way! Own this quit because the bitch has owned you long enough! Damn proud to be quit with you!
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Started when I was 15, dipped a can a day until November 18th, 2016. I got tired of being nicotine's bitch. I want to be free of this stupid addiction. I'm tired of being addicted to anything. I want to feel normal again, which I know will probably never happen again, but I want to be normalish again. No more hiding, no more replying to the "anything else?" from the gas clerk, no more cleaning my dip fingers off on the inside of my flannels, or carrying out huge trash bags full of spitters. No more just stuffing my face full of tobacco just because I'm bored. No more watching my gums recede. No more "treating" myself to Kodiak on "hard days". No more.
The irony of this all is that nicotine is a secondary metabolite of tobacco, yeah, that means its supposed to make us not use it. Because, you know, it's poison. Why would I even start that? Because I'm stupid. Why would I cave? Because I'm stupid. This isn't about money, cancer, or anything else for me. That's all secondary benefits. This is about making nicotine my bitch. I want control of my life. The craves/anxiety may suck and I may not psychically sleep better at night, but there's pride in that pain. I just want to be the best person I can be and that person doesn't have a can in their pocket.
it's posts like yours that make me realize i am in the right place with the right people - we will make it together~~
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Congrats on your HOF day dwight!!
Keep it up!
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Well, made it to 100 days. I have to say, I feel 10x worse mentally, but at the end of the day I can still smile knowing I'm quit.
Going to keep posting roll until I die or they sell the domain.
ssdd
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Well, made it to 100 days. I have to say, I feel 10x worse mentally, but at the end of the day I can still smile knowing I'm quit.
Going to keep posting roll until I die or they sell the domain.
ssdd
Care to elaborate a little bit why you feel 10x worse mentally?
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Well, made it to 100 days. I have to say, I feel 10x worse mentally, but at the end of the day I can still smile knowing I'm quit.
Going to keep posting roll until I die or they sell the domain.
ssdd
Care to elaborate a little bit why you feel 10x worse mentally?
Anxiety. I doubt it's purely from my quit.
I don't want to go into details or seem like a whinny bitch on the boards. But, essentially, I feel like I'm constantly....choking, who knows? I can't explain. However, on the bright side, I feel exhausted nearly every night and sleep like a log. Also, I've lost quite a bit of weight. So, there's always a silver lining.
Ha.
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Well, made it to 100 days. I have to say, I feel 10x worse mentally, but at the end of the day I can still smile knowing I'm quit.
Going to keep posting roll until I die or they sell the domain.
ssdd
Care to elaborate a little bit why you feel 10x worse mentally?
Anxiety. I doubt it's purely from my quit.
I don't want to go into details or seem like a whinny bitch on the boards. But, essentially, I feel like I'm constantly....choking, who knows? I can't explain. However, on the bright side, I feel exhausted nearly every night and sleep like a log. Also, I've lost quite a bit of weight. So, there's always a silver lining.
Ha.
Dwight hang in buddy I've felt pretty shitty since about day 90...seems to be getting better slowly. Quit on brother
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Congratulations Dwight! Listen, your mental issues, whatever they are, are not related to nicotine. See a doctor, a psychiatrist, anything . . . but do not go back. PM me if you want to talk.
Jack
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Dwight, I know exactly where youre coming from man....I have been pretty much a train wreck since day 68....cant concentrate on anything, lazy as hell, all I ever eat is a bunch of shit, etc.....
well today is day 115 and while it has gotten a little better it still sucks balls....plus the cravings have came back and its almost as bad as the first few weeks but there IS no other option than to keep on keepin on. Whenever I get down on myself and start to glorify dip and think of "how nice just one dip" would be, I go straight to google and type in "pictures of mouth cancer" and that does the trick every single time!
Hang in there dude and hmu if you need my digits...just know that you are not alone