KillTheCan.org Accountability Forum
Community => Introductions => Topic started by: Paul S on February 19, 2014, 10:09:00 PM
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A friend introduced me to this site, said it would be helpful. I perused some of the posts last night and today, and decided to chime in. I've been at this just over 10 years. Started when I was in the military as a way to pass time, fit in, stay awake, etc. Not unlike many of you, I'm sure.
I'm married with 3 kids. My wife has been encouraging, albeit not overbearing, about me quitting. In the past 2 weeks, I've had 2 events that completely changed my perspective on the need to stop. I've been doing about a can and a half per day of Grizzly Wintergreen for most of my 10 years. Last week, my 2-year old picked up a bottle and walked around the house acting like he was spitting in it. And I got to thinking about my 9-month old baby girl. I want to model the kind of behavior that I hope she finds in a mate one day. I'd be crushed (though admittedly hypocritical) if she brought home a guy who couldn't make a conscious choice to control his own behaviors. I don't want her to meet that guy...so I can't be him.
So 24 hours in, I feel like I'm about to die. But I'm throwing myself out there a bit, and look forward to seeing (and eventually sharing) words of encouragement.
Here we go!
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You can do this .
Embrace the suck, it's only temporary .
Exercise will help
Keep your blood sugar steady
Cut caffiene in half
Welcome to the ring
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Thanks for the quick reply! I'll absolutely take that advice--much appreciated.
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Welcome Paul. If you are really serious about this, you have come to the right place. Roll up your sleeves man, it is time to put in the work. Getting free of this shit is miserable but it can be done. It just stings a bit. Like skoalmonster said though, it is temporary. The "suck" is the price that you pay for your freedom. The price is worth it, I promise you.
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Welcome Paul. Your definitely in the right place to quit. Look above you for the pink color Welcome Center. Click on it and read all you can. Let KTC be your tv at night. Read others intros. Read HOF speeches. Read everything. There is only one cost of admission here at KTC, that is posting roll. Your group is the May HOF group. Find that page and it has done instructions on it for posting roll. Posting roll is making a promise to yourself and the entire KTC community that you will not partake of nicotine in any fashion for just that one day. It works. Read up on it and I expect to see your name in there in the morning. Click on my name and send me a pm. Ill quit with you bro.
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Get with your group and post roll every day. That's how this works. In fact it's the most important part of your new quit toolbox. Congrats on quitting!
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Congrats on taking back your life, Paul, and welcome aboard. Look forward to posting roll alongside you in the May '14 quit group. As your body mind adjust to the healthier path you've chosen, immerse yourself in the site, particularly the initial postings of guys with many days under their belt. Everyone here had a "Day 1", and the overwhelming majority can relate to your situation, what you're going through, and what lies ahead. If you've got a few minutes, jump in Live Chat (upper right-hand corner of screen) -- guarantee you'll get a welcome diversion from some good people. Congrats again, and stay strong.
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Paul, glad you decided to join us!
Did you know that a can of dip has 3x the nicotine as a pack of smokes? So... That can and a half a day = 4.5 packs of smokes. DO you know any 4.5 pack a day smokers? Of course not! What I'm getting at is... The withdrawal sucks when you are an addict. We've all been there. None of us died, though we all felt like we might.
Remember as much of this misery as you can. It helps if you can look inward and recognize that this pain is self inflicted. We did it to ourselves. But, you will only go through this one time. Because you are now quit. Savor this misery, as it is the first stepping stone to regaining your health, your freedom, and your respect.
If you need another contact or need anything, shoot me a pm. Joining this website was one of the best decisions of my life. Read, make friends, build connections... And one day at a time you'll find winning gets better and so very worth it.
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Hell yeah Paul, roll them sleeves up, grit your teeth and dig your heels in. Its time to pull yourself back to reality. Like these other men have said, the first part sucks, but it is very possible. I was where you are at now 81 days ago. This site has got quitters from 1 day all the way up to several years. The proof is in the kool-aid. When you walk outside this morning, take a deep breath of clean, free air. If you need any extra accountability, shoot me a pm. And remember, when the shit starts piling on, you feel like your going to burst and your addiction is telling you" ill just have one, it will calm me down". Thats when you better get a number and holler at somebody, text, chat, call whatever. 1 problem + "just 1 dip" = nothing but 2 problems.
Winter Green ;Ironman:
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Last week, my 2-year old picked up a bottle and walked around the house acting like he was spitting in it.
been there bro. My boys, 5 and 2, walk around and spit. Every time my wife looks at me and gives me the "that's just great" look.
We all have these stories. You are in the right place. Post your roll every day, make your promise, save your life. PM me if you need a phone number.
Congrats on taking your freedom back
PB
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No excuses, post roll now!
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Quitting is really simple.
Read everything on here, post roll call each morning and don't dip. Wow....that sounds so easy, doesn't it?
If you read through the other intro's you may see some of my same words on them but they always hold true so I will just repeat them...
You are in for one nasty fight but you have the tools here to make it.
Go load yourself up with gum, mints, fake chew, seeds and beef jerky. Also get some member phone numbers right now, they will help you through the rough parts.
Next, exercise to exhaustion every single day and drink so much water that you feel like you may bust. Both of these will help.
Make sure your wife reads about what you are going through. 99% chance that you are going to be a short fussed dick for the next 3-4 weeks. Try not to take it out on her and the kids. Get on here and take it out on us, we will be fine.
I quit with you.
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Paul,
First of all welcome to KTC. I am glad that you found us. You seem to have the drive to quit and your story started a lot like mine, except my kids were old enough to understand how stupid I was for dipping. The best thing you can do is want it and want it really bad. Remember to take things one day at a time, never ever focus on tomorrow or next week, fight hourly at first, then daily. As was pointed out already you need to quit for you, once you do that the rest of your life can bask in the glory of your quit.
Urges and cravings will come and go, rage may become a factor as well. You may notice that your body will change some good, some bad. Read up on that stuff here, those who have walked the trail before you can help guide you through things when you need it.
Now learn how to post roll How to Post Roll (http://forum.killthecan.org/index.php?showtopic=50).
Then join your quit group Pre HOF May 2014 (http://forum.killthecan.org/index.php?showtopic=9408), this will be the month at which you will hit your HOF or 100 days of quit, as long as you have the balls to quit.
Next read the HOM speeches and stories here, learn from the veterans. Look in the site for all kind of information like Spousal Support (http://www.killthecan.org/community/spousal-support/) or What to Expect (http://www.killthecan.org/your-quit/what-to-expect-when-you-quit-dipping/)
Find an alternative to dip Smokeless Alternatives (http://www.killthecan.org/your-quit/smokeless-alternatives/). Find other alternatives (candies, seeds, peanuts, beef jerky...). Also drink lots of water. Bump your intake so you have to stop at every urinal in order to not piss your pants.
Finally, get to know people, exchange phone numbers, make friends and quit.
P.S. All of the Bold and underlined words above are links to locations on this site.
Sincerely,
Pinched
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I'm sitting here on Day 11. This is no small feat. I've done some awesome things in my life. I've flown Bombers (B-1s), kicked ass on structure fire attacks, and become a rescue tech. But this is the hardest thing I've ever had to do. Addiction is real. Addiction is ugly, and Addiction doesn't stop. What does stop is my submission to it. I am conquered by it no more. I will continue quitting every single day.
I work at a fortune 50 company as a mid-level manager. I am way too smart to have been doing something so damn stupid for 10 years. I read the stories of HOF guys who have gone before--love the words of encouragement I see, whether by PM, text, or on the board. The past week and a half has been filled with anxiety, depression, and to some degree, fear. Depression for having thrown away so much of my life on a nasty-ass habit that's done nothing for my health or finances. And afraid about the struggles that still remain ahead.
Addicts come from all walks of life. I'm so "type A" that I refuse to only 'partially' do something. Hence, when I started dipping, it was balls-to-the-wall. Talk about setting up for failure.
But now I have conquered 2 Saturdays. I've beaten this monster on my own turf. No more boys spitting in cups to try to be like me. No more of the wife making sure I've brushed three times, flossed, and mouthwashed before even thinking about kissing me. Not to get too personal, but I realize now all the pain i've caused her too.
That's why all of those emotions, while they'll continue to persist for some time, are just part of the plan. Those are the nic-monster sneaking its way back into my psychie. It's not welcome there. It's not welcome in my house, not welcome in my truck, and damn sure not welcome in my mouth.
Foggy days right now. Very foggy. Some far worse than others. But I've also had segments of time where it never crossed my mind that I needed that shit. For that, I'm encouraged. A ton of thanks to the folks on this board, both my May brothers who I PM/text, and the "old pros" who are quick to get me in touch with the right folks and edit my "sometimes overexuberant" posts into the correct format. I'll stay on the roll, because I need to make the daily commit. Not strong enough to do without that.
I've never known a human being in my life that quit dipping. That's why I never thought I could. My family grows tobacco. I'm already being frowned upon by a few cousins. But that's fine. It actually makes me proud. Pretty sure those are some future converts too, so long as I can stay the course. This quit has always been about me, primarily. But the longer I go, the more I realize how impactful it is on others around me.
Sorry for the rant---just wanted to add a day 11 perspective on what I've seen so far. Quitting is an every day thing. It's not a passive activity. Thanks to all those who have gone before. You have been the difference. And thanks to those Mayhemers keeping me strong. Only together will we prevail!
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You flew the Bone? I did but only in the sim. Tell me more quitter. Couple of pilots around this joint. Join in and hide your wives.
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Paul S, well said! I agree with all you said. The only difference with me is that it took me 33 years to wise up. Day 14 and I'll quit all day with you and all May!
mb289
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I'm sitting here on Day 11. This is no small feat. I've done some awesome things in my life. I've flown Bombers (B-1s), kicked ass on structure fire attacks, and become a rescue tech. But this is the hardest thing I've ever had to do. Addiction is real. Addiction is ugly, and Addiction doesn't stop. What does stop is my submission to it. I am conquered by it no more. I will continue quitting every single day.
I work at a fortune 50 company as a mid-level manager. I am way too smart to have been doing something so damn stupid for 10 years. I read the stories of HOF guys who have gone before--love the words of encouragement I see, whether by PM, text, or on the board. The past week and a half has been filled with anxiety, depression, and to some degree, fear. Depression for having thrown away so much of my life on a nasty-ass habit that's done nothing for my health or finances. And afraid about the struggles that still remain ahead.
Addicts come from all walks of life. I'm so "type A" that I refuse to only 'partially' do something. Hence, when I started dipping, it was balls-to-the-wall. Talk about setting up for failure.
But now I have conquered 2 Saturdays. I've beaten this monster on my own turf. No more boys spitting in cups to try to be like me. No more of the wife making sure I've brushed three times, flossed, and mouthwashed before even thinking about kissing me. Not to get too personal, but I realize now all the pain i've caused her too.
That's why all of those emotions, while they'll continue to persist for some time, are just part of the plan. Those are the nic-monster sneaking its way back into my psychie. It's not welcome there. It's not welcome in my house, not welcome in my truck, and damn sure not welcome in my mouth.
Foggy days right now. Very foggy. Some far worse than others. But I've also had segments of time where it never crossed my mind that I needed that shit. For that, I'm encouraged. A ton of thanks to the folks on this board, both my May brothers who I PM/text, and the "old pros" who are quick to get me in touch with the right folks and edit my "sometimes overexuberant" posts into the correct format. I'll stay on the roll, because I need to make the daily commit. Not strong enough to do without that.
I've never known a human being in my life that quit dipping. That's why I never thought I could. My family grows tobacco. I'm already being frowned upon by a few cousins. But that's fine. It actually makes me proud. Pretty sure those are some future converts too, so long as I can stay the course. This quit has always been about me, primarily. But the longer I go, the more I realize how impactful it is on others around me.
Sorry for the rant---just wanted to add a day 11 perspective on what I've seen so far. Quitting is an every day thing. It's not a passive activity. Thanks to all those who have gone before. You have been the difference. And thanks to those Mayhemers keeping me strong. Only together will we prevail!
Post this kind of stuff in May too. Your brethren would appreciate it.
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Check your PM, Bone head
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I'm sitting here on Day 11. This is no small feat. I've done some awesome things in my life. I've flown Bombers (B-1s), kicked ass on structure fire attacks, and become a rescue tech. But this is the hardest thing I've ever had to do. Addiction is real. Addiction is ugly, and Addiction doesn't stop. What does stop is my submission to it. I am conquered by it no more. I will continue quitting every single day.
I work at a fortune 50 company as a mid-level manager. I am way too smart to have been doing something so damn stupid for 10 years. I read the stories of HOF guys who have gone before--love the words of encouragement I see, whether by PM, text, or on the board. The past week and a half has been filled with anxiety, depression, and to some degree, fear. Depression for having thrown away so much of my life on a nasty-ass habit that's done nothing for my health or finances. And afraid about the struggles that still remain ahead.Â
Addicts come from all walks of life. I'm so "type A" that I refuse to only 'partially' do something. Hence, when I started dipping, it was balls-to-the-wall. Talk about setting up for failure.Â
But now I have conquered 2 Saturdays. I've beaten this monster on my own turf. No more boys spitting in cups to try to be like me. No more of the wife making sure I've brushed three times, flossed, and mouthwashed before even thinking about kissing me. Not to get too personal, but I realize now all the pain i've caused her too.Â
That's why all of those emotions, while they'll continue to persist for some time, are just part of the plan. Those are the nic-monster sneaking its way back into my psychie. It's not welcome there. It's not welcome in my house, not welcome in my truck, and damn sure not welcome in my mouth.Â
Foggy days right now. Very foggy. Some far worse than others. But I've also had segments of time where it never crossed my mind that I needed that shit. For that, I'm encouraged. A ton of thanks to the folks on this board, both my May brothers who I PM/text, and the "old pros" who are quick to get me in touch with the right folks and edit my "sometimes overexuberant" posts into the correct format. I'll stay on the roll, because I need to make the daily commit. Not strong enough to do without that.
I've never known a human being in my life that quit dipping. That's why I never thought I could. My family grows tobacco. I'm already being frowned upon by a few cousins. But that's fine. It actually makes me proud. Pretty sure those are some future converts too, so long as I can stay the course. This quit has always been about me, primarily. But the longer I go, the more I realize how impactful it is on others around me.Â
Sorry for the rant---just wanted to add a day 11 perspective on what I've seen so far. Quitting is an every day thing. It's not a passive activity. Thanks to all those who have gone before. You have been the difference. And thanks to those Mayhemers keeping me strong. Only together will we prevail!
Post this kind of stuff in May too. Your brethren would appreciate it.
Nice!!! Now that ^^ is a complete turn around from where you were that day in chat. Thanks for sharing your thoughts with us. Keep doing what you are doing.
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I'm sitting here on Day 11. This is no small feat. I've done some awesome things in my life. I've flown Bombers (B-1s), kicked ass on structure fire attacks, and become a rescue tech. But this is the hardest thing I've ever had to do. Addiction is real. Addiction is ugly, and Addiction doesn't stop. What does stop is my submission to it. I am conquered by it no more. I will continue quitting every single day.
I work at a fortune 50 company as a mid-level manager. I am way too smart to have been doing something so damn stupid for 10 years. I read the stories of HOF guys who have gone before--love the words of encouragement I see, whether by PM, text, or on the board. The past week and a half has been filled with anxiety, depression, and to some degree, fear. Depression for having thrown away so much of my life on a nasty-ass habit that's done nothing for my health or finances. And afraid about the struggles that still remain ahead.Â
Addicts come from all walks of life. I'm so "type A" that I refuse to only 'partially' do something. Hence, when I started dipping, it was balls-to-the-wall. Talk about setting up for failure.Â
But now I have conquered 2 Saturdays. I've beaten this monster on my own turf. No more boys spitting in cups to try to be like me. No more of the wife making sure I've brushed three times, flossed, and mouthwashed before even thinking about kissing me. Not to get too personal, but I realize now all the pain i've caused her too.Â
That's why all of those emotions, while they'll continue to persist for some time, are just part of the plan. Those are the nic-monster sneaking its way back into my psychie. It's not welcome there. It's not welcome in my house, not welcome in my truck, and damn sure not welcome in my mouth.Â
Foggy days right now. Very foggy. Some far worse than others. But I've also had segments of time where it never crossed my mind that I needed that shit. For that, I'm encouraged. A ton of thanks to the folks on this board, both my May brothers who I PM/text, and the "old pros" who are quick to get me in touch with the right folks and edit my "sometimes overexuberant" posts into the correct format. I'll stay on the roll, because I need to make the daily commit. Not strong enough to do without that.
I've never known a human being in my life that quit dipping. That's why I never thought I could. My family grows tobacco. I'm already being frowned upon by a few cousins. But that's fine. It actually makes me proud. Pretty sure those are some future converts too, so long as I can stay the course. This quit has always been about me, primarily. But the longer I go, the more I realize how impactful it is on others around me.Â
Sorry for the rant---just wanted to add a day 11 perspective on what I've seen so far. Quitting is an every day thing. It's not a passive activity. Thanks to all those who have gone before. You have been the difference. And thanks to those Mayhemers keeping me strong. Only together will we prevail!
Post this kind of stuff in May too. Your brethren would appreciate it.
Nice!!! Now that ^^ is a complete turn around from where you were that day in chat. Thanks for sharing your thoughts with us. Keep doing what you are doing.
Nicely said Paul. I hope you copy/paste this in your group.
We all regret the time and money and heartache we caused those around us, but now it's just fuel to the fire. Balls-to-the-wall quits need lots of material to burn.
Glad to be quit with you today.
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I'm sitting here on Day 11. This is no small feat. I've done some awesome things in my life. I've flown Bombers (B-1s), kicked ass on structure fire attacks, and become a rescue tech. But this is the hardest thing I've ever had to do. Addiction is real. Addiction is ugly, and Addiction doesn't stop. What does stop is my submission to it. I am conquered by it no more. I will continue quitting every single day.
I work at a fortune 50 company as a mid-level manager. I am way too smart to have been doing something so damn stupid for 10 years. I read the stories of HOF guys who have gone before--love the words of encouragement I see, whether by PM, text, or on the board. The past week and a half has been filled with anxiety, depression, and to some degree, fear. Depression for having thrown away so much of my life on a nasty-ass habit that's done nothing for my health or finances. And afraid about the struggles that still remain ahead.Â
Addicts come from all walks of life. I'm so "type A" that I refuse to only 'partially' do something. Hence, when I started dipping, it was balls-to-the-wall. Talk about setting up for failure.Â
But now I have conquered 2 Saturdays. I've beaten this monster on my own turf. No more boys spitting in cups to try to be like me. No more of the wife making sure I've brushed three times, flossed, and mouthwashed before even thinking about kissing me. Not to get too personal, but I realize now all the pain i've caused her too.Â
That's why all of those emotions, while they'll continue to persist for some time, are just part of the plan. Those are the nic-monster sneaking its way back into my psychie. It's not welcome there. It's not welcome in my house, not welcome in my truck, and damn sure not welcome in my mouth.Â
Foggy days right now. Very foggy. Some far worse than others. But I've also had segments of time where it never crossed my mind that I needed that shit. For that, I'm encouraged. A ton of thanks to the folks on this board, both my May brothers who I PM/text, and the "old pros" who are quick to get me in touch with the right folks and edit my "sometimes overexuberant" posts into the correct format. I'll stay on the roll, because I need to make the daily commit. Not strong enough to do without that.
I've never known a human being in my life that quit dipping. That's why I never thought I could. My family grows tobacco. I'm already being frowned upon by a few cousins. But that's fine. It actually makes me proud. Pretty sure those are some future converts too, so long as I can stay the course. This quit has always been about me, primarily. But the longer I go, the more I realize how impactful it is on others around me.Â
Sorry for the rant---just wanted to add a day 11 perspective on what I've seen so far. Quitting is an every day thing. It's not a passive activity. Thanks to all those who have gone before. You have been the difference. And thanks to those Mayhemers keeping me strong. Only together will we prevail!
Post this kind of stuff in May too. Your brethren would appreciate it.
Nice!!! Now that ^^ is a complete turn around from where you were that day in chat. Thanks for sharing your thoughts with us. Keep doing what you are doing.
Nicely said Paul. I hope you copy/paste this in your group.
We all regret the time and money and heartache we caused those around us, but now it's just fuel to the fire. Balls-to-the-wall quits need lots of material to burn.
Glad to be quit with you today.
Great post. Stay focused on each day of quitting. And enjoy each new day for what it is. A new day of freedom. You're doing great.
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Welcome to HOF...can't wait to read your HOF speech!
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Gratz on the hundo Paul!
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Congrats on reaching 100- Its been great quitting with you. You have been invaluable to my quit and our group as a whole.
Will James Gordon be introducing you at your Hall of Fame ceremony, or just writing your whole speech for you?
Looking forward to many more milestone speeches from that fucking weirdo.
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Congrats on reaching 100- Its been great quitting with you. You have been invaluable to my quit and our group as a whole.
Will James Gordon be introducing you at your Hall of Fame ceremony, or just writing your whole speech for you?
Looking forward to many more milestone speeches from that fucking weirdo.
What he said ^^^^.
Congrats, brother!
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Congrats on reaching 100- Its been great quitting with you. You have been invaluable to my quit and our group as a whole.
Will James Gordon be introducing you at your Hall of Fame ceremony, or just writing your whole speech for you?
Looking forward to many more milestone speeches from that fucking weirdo.
What he said ^^^^.
Congrats, brother!
Agreed. Congrats Paul
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Congrats on reaching 100- Its been great quitting with you. You have been invaluable to my quit and our group as a whole.
Will James Gordon be introducing you at your Hall of Fame ceremony, or just writing your whole speech for you?
Looking forward to many more milestone speeches from that fucking weirdo.
What he said ^^^^.
Congrats, brother!
Agreed. Congrats Paul
Congrats, again, on sauntering into the HOF, Paul. You're an asset to both May '14 and the site as a whole -- thanks for chiming in, reaching out, and, above all, taking the Fat Jimmy saga to a whole 'nother level... Look forward to quitting with you in May for a long time.
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Congrats on reaching 100- Its been great quitting with you. You have been invaluable to my quit and our group as a whole.
Will James Gordon be introducing you at your Hall of Fame ceremony, or just writing your whole speech for you?
Looking forward to many more milestone speeches from that fucking weirdo.
What he said ^^^^.
Congrats, brother!
Agreed. Congrats Paul
Congrats, again, on sauntering into the HOF, Paul. You're an asset to both May '14 and the site as a whole -- thanks for chiming in, reaching out, and, above all, taking the Fat Jimmy saga to a whole 'nother level... Look forward to quitting with you in May for a long time.
Congratulations Paul! There is a lot more upside one day at a time! This is a huge achievement - and you should be damn proud today!