KillTheCan.org Accountability Forum
Community => Introductions => Topic started by: B-loMatt on May 28, 2013, 08:55:00 PM
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Hi everyone. I have been dipping for around 20 years, and have been going through 2+ cans of skoal apple longcut a day for the last several years. I am finally ready to be done with it. Hoping this site will help. Haven't had nicotine in 20 hours and am ok.
Matt.
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Nice job Matt - I am almost 2 days nicotine free myself. Keep up the great work man, looking forward to getting through tomorrow...this fog is killing me.
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Might have to just call your group Matt. Learn the process and quit everyday with the rest of us addicts. No hoping just do it!
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Oh no wt I am done, just hope this site makes it a little easier is all. Thanks for the post though, and yeah it does seem like a lot of Matt's...
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Hi everyone. I have been dipping for around 20 years, and have been going through 2+ cans of skoal apple longcut a day for the last several years. I am finally ready to be done with it. Hoping this site will help. Haven't had nicotine in 20 hours and am ok.
Matt.
Brother... That was my evil candy for the last 7 years! Like you, 2 cans a day. Rejoice that you are done with it! I feel you and I/we know exactly what yer gonna feel and go through. I dropped it all cold turkey 42 days ago. You got this man! If you need ANYTHING... PM me. Glad to help bro!
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Oh no wt I am done, just hope this site makes it a little easier is all. Thanks for the post though, and yeah it does seem like a lot of Matt's...
Put your mind to it quit one lil ol day at a time. Go buy some seeds, gum, jerky juice, post roll promise to quit for today, everyday, and everything will be fine
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Oh no wt I am done, just hope this site makes it a little easier is all. Thanks for the post though, and yeah it does seem like a lot of Matt's...
Put your mind to it quit one lil ol day at a time. Go buy some seeds, gum, jerky juice, post roll promise to quit for today, everyday, and everything will be fine
^^^^ Good advice.
Stop hoping. Keep on quitting.
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Oh no wt I am done, just hope this site makes it a little easier is all. Thanks for the post though, and yeah it does seem like a lot of Matt's...
Put your mind to it quit one lil ol day at a time. Go buy some seeds, gum, jerky juice, post roll promise to quit for today, everyday, and everything will be fine
^^^^ Good advice.
Stop hoping. Keep on quitting.
Matt, this site does make quitting more tolerable, and probably easier too. It's kind of like a pledgeship for a fraternity that you enter after 100 days (HOF). Yea it sucks a bag of dicks, but it's also kind of fun in a twisted way to suffer with the rest of your group/pledge class. You can spread out your collective pain amongst the different members.
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Just updating: starting day 4 and glad to think the nic is out of my body. Now for the mind games and the embrace of the suck. This is the 4th time I have quit for 3+ days so I know it will get better, but I also know there are landmines and pitfalls all along the way. Last time I quit for 5 months and thought I was bad-assed enough to have 1 dip with the boys since I could quit anytime I wanted... 2 years later I am finally quit again... Never again, not one more time! KTC is making things alot better for me this time around. Knowing people are in the same boat with me and have my back is a HUGE tool to have, and having the contract to quit in my wallet is another. Also big thanks to my brothers who have volunteered their personal contact info for me.
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Just updating: starting day 4 and glad to think the nic is out of my body. Now for the mind games and the embrace of the suck. This is the 4th time I have quit for 3+ days so I know it will get better, but I also know there are landmines and pitfalls all along the way. Last time I quit for 5 months and thought I was bad-assed enough to have 1 dip with the boys since I could quit anytime I wanted... 2 years later I am finally quit again... Never again, not one more time! KTC is making things alot better for me this time around. Knowing people are in the same boat with me and have my back is a HUGE tool to have, and having the contract to quit in my wallet is another. Also big thanks to my brothers who have volunteered their personal contact info for me.
Remember you have never quit before, just took some time off. If you had quit before you would not need to quit now.
I say that because quit is a state of mind. To be quit means to never touch nicotine again. If you ever touch it, you were never quit.
With that said, I am quit with you today, keep up the great work!
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Just updating: starting day 4 and glad to think the nic is out of my body. Now for the mind games and the embrace of the suck. This is the 4th time I have quit for 3+ days so I know it will get better, but I also know there are landmines and pitfalls all along the way. Last time I quit for 5 months and thought I was bad-assed enough to have 1 dip with the boys since I could quit anytime I wanted... 2 years later I am finally quit again... Never again, not one more time! KTC is making things alot better for me this time around. Knowing people are in the same boat with me and have my back is a HUGE tool to have, and having the contract to quit in my wallet is another. Also big thanks to my brothers who have volunteered their personal contact info for me.
Alright matt. You've been here for 3 days, so you must know that TAKING A BREAK for a few days or months is not quitting. Here we QUIT period!!! END OF STORY!!!
Now go outside and take a look around. Really take a look around matt. Here's one better. Find the tallest building. Go to the top and take a look around. Look at the world without nicotine in your system. Do something a little different this time when you look. Take the blinders off and see what the world is suppose to look like. Everything will look different without nicotine running through your blood. To me everything looks more alivel. See matt, Nicotine dulls the mind in every way. From vision to senses. We were not intended to live with nicotine controlling us.
Your right matt, this time is different if you want it to be different. It's actually up to you!! Stay quit and know that it gets so much better. I quit with you today.
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Thanks for the enlightenment. Too true, I have never truely quit before or I would not be here, but I am quit now and with all the help I am getting from KTC brothers I plan on staying quit. Funny thing srans, after I updated but befor I read your reply, I went for a long bike ride. I have some busy streets near my house so I decided to ride through the three cemeteries a couple of blocks away to get out of the traffic. a cousin of mine had passed away from pancreatic cancer a couple of years ago and is resting in one of them. I felt all sorts of emotions going past the graves without the spector of the dip can on me. I think I will make an appointment with an oral surgeon on monday to get a screening... How could I be so stupid for all those years...
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Great job B-lo. I know right where you are man. I remember that bike ride but for me it was a walk in the woods. Suddenly I looked around and realized, "holy shit I am really doing this". "I don't need nicotine to function".
I suggest reading all you can on this site, start with words of wisdom and HOF speeches. Also check our the threads of a vet or 2 and go back to their first post and read all the way through. The path you are on has been taken by many. It is a difficult path, but a trail has been blazed. KTC shines a light on that trail for you. Use the tools, you will win if you want to. I quit with you today.
Ryan
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Great job B-lo. I know right where you are man. I remember that bike ride but for me it was a walk in the woods. Suddenly I looked around and realized, "holy shit I am really doing this". "I don't need nicotine to function".
I suggest reading all you can on this site, start with words of wisdom and HOF speeches. Also check our the threads of a vet or 2 and go back to their first post and read all the way through. The path you are on has been taken by many. It is a difficult path, but a trail has been blazed. KTC shines a light on that trail for you. Use the tools, you will win if you want to. I quit with you today.
Ryan
Bury that bike ride deep b-lo. Remember it everytime you have that crave. I to went to the dentist shortly after quitting. Turned out to be a real good experience. It was my second time at the dentist in 44 years. So far I've been one of the lucky ones. I know I have years before I'm out of the woods totally, but at least I'm adding days to my life now and not subtracting. Same with you brother.
I too like biking. It is great exercise and enjoyable at the same time. I quit with you today.
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Fake/jerky-dip salty seeds oral fixation mastrabation... oh and bubble gum too...
I will not put a poison lip turd in today, but man do I have the addicts mind games going on day 6. I have my funds wrapped in my contract to quit, I have photos of dudes faces peeled open to shave cancer off their jaws, I have contacts in my phone given to me by Bad-Asses whom I owe a debt in case I think of caving. I have been reading the intro threads of those Bad-Asses and seeing that they came from where I am at or worse, and I have been strenghtened by it. I had minor flooding in my basement this morning and worked most of the day to get that unfucked... I had to take breaks to read the forums on KTC several times when I needed seeds or a fake dip, but I got that motherfucker cleaned out and dry without dropping a poison turd between cheek and (what's left of my) gum! I did go and buy some sour mash as I am not willing to be perfect, but I also made time for my daughters (5 year olds dance recital was as good as it gets yesterday(( father daughter dance is most likely on youtube by now for anyone with time enough to hunt it down(((I was front and center with my girl))))) I also took heed of the exercise advocates and took another long bike ride through the graveyards near my house. You might be surprised how many dates shorter than my (your) lifespan you can catch chiseled into stone while cruising by at 17 mph. I crossed off several triggers this week/end: I do not need a dip after: eating mighty taco (wny staple late nite fast food chain), sleeping in for 9 hours sleep (thank you wife), eating slow cooked beef and stuffed hot banana pepper sandwich on garlic roll with lots of mozzarella cheese (I am a chef at a good restaraunt) for breakfast, performing(see father daughter dance) and playing host to family (grandma and as my mother calls my step mother mistress granny(( my Dad passed away just over 2 years ago from stomach cancer oh and my mothers father passed away from stomach cancer 9 years ago(((fucking giant idiot I am I guess I wanted to have something other that gut cancer so I dipped 2+ cans of shit a day so I could get face cancer!!!???))) I am most afraid right now about that after sex dip crave... Thank God I am married so I wont have to face that shit crave for a long time...I will not walk the 217 yards to the c-store on the corner, where they apologize to me on sight if they are out of apple skoal even though thay are stocked with dozens of cans of poison that would kill me slowly just the same... If I drop dead from a heart attack from consuming 12 portions of roasted salted sunflowerseeds a day at least I will know I died kicking nic in the cunt and pummeling the soft spots in the back of her skull. Hell, if I go to the oral surgeon in the next few weeks (and I intend to) and he tells me I am a gonner from what I have done to myself already, I will still feel better knowing I quit the nic bitch of my own choosing... Sorry for the long post, but I needed to vent, and I know this is the place. Thanks to all you quitters. Your stories and advice give me strenghth, and promising you people that I will not cave today has saved my quit several times already, and I am only day 6. QFT with you Bad-Asses! QFL will come!
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Fake/jerky-dip salty seeds oral fixation mastrabation... oh and bubble gum too...
I will not put a poison lip turd in today, but man do I have the addicts mind games going on day 6. I have my funds wrapped in my contract to quit, I have photos of dudes faces peeled open to shave cancer off their jaws, I have contacts in my phone given to me by Bad-Asses whom I owe a debt in case I think of caving. I have been reading the intro threads of those Bad-Asses and seeing that they came from where I am at or worse, and I have been strenghtened by it. I had minor flooding in my basement this morning and worked most of the day to get that unfucked... I had to take breaks to read the forums on KTC several times when I needed seeds or a fake dip, but I got that motherfucker cleaned out and dry without dropping a poison turd between cheek and (what's left of my) gum! I did go and buy some sour mash as I am not willing to be perfect, but I also made time for my daughters (5 year olds dance recital was as good as it gets yesterday(( father daughter dance is most likely on youtube by now for anyone with time enough to hunt it down(((I was front and center with my girl))))) I also took heed of the exercise advocates and took another long bike ride through the graveyards near my house. You might be surprised how many dates shorter than my (your) lifespan you can catch chiseled into stone while cruising by at 17 mph. I crossed off several triggers this week/end: I do not need a dip after: eating mighty taco (wny staple late nite fast food chain), sleeping in for 9 hours sleep (thank you wife), eating slow cooked beef and stuffed hot banana pepper sandwich on garlic roll with lots of mozzarella cheese (I am a chef at a good restaraunt) for breakfast, performing(see father daughter dance) and playing host to family (grandma and as my mother calls my step mother mistress granny(( my Dad passed away just over 2 years ago from stomach cancer oh and my mothers father passed away from stomach cancer 9 years ago(((fucking giant idiot I am I guess I wanted to have something other that gut cancer so I dipped 2+ cans of shit a day so I could get face cancer!!!???))) I am most afraid right now about that after sex dip crave... Thank God I am married so I wont have to face that shit crave for a long time...I will not walk the 217 yards to the c-store on the corner, where they apologize to me on sight if they are out of apple skoal even though thay are stocked with dozens of cans of poison that would kill me slowly just the same... If I drop dead from a heart attack from consuming 12 portions of roasted salted sunflowerseeds a day at least I will know I died kicking nic in the cunt and pummeling the soft spots in the back of her skull. Hell, if I go to the oral surgeon in the next few weeks (and I intend to) and he tells me I am a gonner from what I have done to myself already, I will still feel better knowing I quit the nic bitch of my own choosing... Sorry for the long post, but I needed to vent, and I know this is the place. Thanks to all you quitters. Your stories and advice give me strenghth, and promising you people that I will not cave today has saved my quit several times already, and I am only day 6. QFT with you Bad-Asses! QFL will come!
Dude, that was some Random/Ramblin' shit 'winker'
Yer quit though... that's all that matters. Quit on m'man...
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I did mention that I bought some sour mash AppleJack, and fake/jerkydip salty seeds and gum make me babble.... Ramble on sing my song
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I did mention that I bought some sour mash AppleJack, and fake/jerkydip salty seeds and gum make me babble.... Ramble on sing my song
B-lo you still have that bike you had been talking about earlier??You might think about jumping on it and going for a little trek when you feel so wound up.Exercise helps tremendously with the craves and the nervous times.Glad your quit and staying active on the site.Do what You need to do to stay quit,ramble away if that what it takes.
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Fake/jerky-dip salty seeds oral fixation mastrabation... oh and bubble gum too...
I will not put a poison lip turd in today, but man do I have the addicts mind games going on day 6. I have my funds wrapped in my contract to quit, I have photos of dudes faces peeled open to shave cancer off their jaws, I have contacts in my phone given to me by Bad-Asses whom I owe a debt in case I think of caving. I have been reading the intro threads of those Bad-Asses and seeing that they came from where I am at or worse, and I have been strenghtened by it. I had minor flooding in my basement this morning and worked most of the day to get that unfucked... I had to take breaks to read the forums on KTC several times when I needed seeds or a fake dip, but I got that motherfucker cleaned out and dry without dropping a poison turd between cheek and (what's left of my) gum! I did go and buy some sour mash as I am not willing to be perfect, but I also made time for my daughters (5 year olds dance recital was as good as it gets yesterday(( father daughter dance is most likely on youtube by now for anyone with time enough to hunt it down(((I was front and center with my girl))))) I also took heed of the exercise advocates and took another long bike ride through the graveyards near my house. You might be surprised how many dates shorter than my (your) lifespan you can catch chiseled into stone while cruising by at 17 mph. I crossed off several triggers this week/end: I do not need a dip after: eating mighty taco (wny staple late nite fast food chain), sleeping in for 9 hours sleep (thank you wife), eating slow cooked beef and stuffed hot banana pepper sandwich on garlic roll with lots of mozzarella cheese (I am a chef at a good restaraunt) for breakfast, performing(see father daughter dance) and playing host to family (grandma and as my mother calls my step mother mistress granny(( my Dad passed away just over 2 years ago from stomach cancer oh and my mothers father passed away from stomach cancer 9 years ago(((fucking giant idiot I am I guess I wanted to have something other that gut cancer so I dipped 2+ cans of shit a day so I could get face cancer!!!???))) I am most afraid right now about that after sex dip crave... Thank God I am married so I wont have to face that shit crave for a long time...I will not walk the 217 yards to the c-store on the corner, where they apologize to me on sight if they are out of apple skoal even though thay are stocked with dozens of cans of poison that would kill me slowly just the same... If I drop dead from a heart attack from consuming 12 portions of roasted salted sunflowerseeds a day at least I will know I died kicking nic in the cunt and pummeling the soft spots in the back of her skull. Hell, if I go to the oral surgeon in the next few weeks (and I intend to) and he tells me I am a gonner from what I have done to myself already, I will still feel better knowing I quit the nic bitch of my own choosing... Sorry for the long post, but I needed to vent, and I know this is the place. Thanks to all you quitters. Your stories and advice give me strenghth, and promising you people that I will not cave today has saved my quit several times already, and I am only day 6. QFT with you Bad-Asses! QFL will come!
Dude, that was some Random/Ramblin' shit 'winker'
Yer quit though... that's all that matters. Quit on m'man...
I love me a little quit rage. Press on quitter. Dont look now but YOU ARE DOING THIS!!
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Had me a good vent last nite to celebrate my first weekend of freedom; it felt good! Woke up got outta bed and fired up the pc to post roll b4 I go to work, and my homepage shows me that one of my boyhood heroes has mouth cancer! Jim Kelly pro football HOF quarterback has squamos-cell carcinoma of the upper jaw. I don't know if he was/is a dipper, but it feels like someone up there is trying to tell me something... I had never heard the technical terms for oral cancers until last week when I started reading KTC and it's links, but now it seems to be everywhere I look... Kelly says he has a good prognosis, and I pray for him and his; I am glad I am quit today...
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End day 7. I spent the last 3 hours reading threads, thank God for this site. Having some cravings but I know I am not going to cave today. Gonna try and get some sleep and post roll in the AM, that daily promise is a powerful tool.
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End day 7. I spent the last 3 hours reading threads, thank God for this site. Having some cravings but I know I am not going to cave today. Gonna try and get some sleep and post roll in the AM, that daily promise is a powerful tool.
One week. SOLID bro. Keep it up.
Relax when you go to sleep.
Lay on your back and try to clear your mind of all thoughs, so its completely silent.
Then, with your arms crossed on your chest, breath at a normal pace from your stomach and try to HEAR yourself breathing. Try to get into a nice rhythm and try and kelp your mind clear and think only in the moment. Not what happened today or what's going on tomorrow. Just breath in the moment.
Sounds gay, but that's how I finally got some sleep.
Give it a shot. If it doesn't work, tell me to fuck off or blow it out my ass. I can handle it.
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LOL, I was getting sleepy just reading your sage advice. Slept like shit last nite, but I feel great this morning. No fog today so far, made my promise not to use today, and I have some energy to get my to do list done early. Almost had a panic attack when I hit KTC.org on my favorites and could not get in; very relieved that I could get into the forums directly though. Much rather have a panic attack about not being able to drink the kool-aid than worrying if I had enough lipturds to last a work shift. God what a fucked up situation!
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As I have said I have been reading intros for some of the vets who have been through this, and I think I need to post more here so that I can remember what I am going through day by day. I love that I can distract myself and learn the answers to my questions just by reading what others have gone through. Day 1 was by far the worst, but getting through that gave me the knowledge that I will be quit. I actually liked the fog I had, but that's done for now. I know I can expect the fog to come back from time to time, but since I am not drinking alcohol (at least mostly) feeling like I got a mild beer buzz is not the worst thing I could imagine. I have had few strong craves so far 8 days into my quit, and I don't know if that is a blessing or something I need to worry about. Mostly I am scratching my itch with sunflower seeds and fake dip for the stronger urges (once or twice a day since day 4- days 1-3 I was going through 2 cans of fake dip a day). Obviously as you all know and I have stated many times KTC is my crutch as advertised. I have a low level (almost background noise) feeling that is most common, and I believe this is what is refered to as the 'Suck'. The Suck is Nic bitches lies about how much I miss her (I really don't), and how lousy everything is without her poison embrace. In my past attempts at quitting I remember the Suck being way worse, and again not sure if I should be happy about the lower level of Suck or be ready for the other shoe to drop. Keeping my guard up, but happy I am not as miserable as I thought I would be. O.k. enough ramblein' for now I have a bikeride to take.
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Matt, since you PM'ed me saying you like my AV, here you go, she will be forever in your thread. Stay quit, Ill quit with you today!
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As I have said I have been reading intros for some of the vets who have been through this, and I think I need to post more here so that I can remember what I am going through day by day. I love that I can distract myself and learn the answers to my questions just by reading what others have gone through. Day 1 was by far the worst, but getting through that gave me the knowledge that I will be quit. I actually liked the fog I had, but that's done for now. I know I can expect the fog to come back from time to time, but since I am not drinking alcohol (at least mostly) feeling like I got a mild beer buzz is not the worst thing I could imagine. I have had few strong craves so far 8 days into my quit, and I don't know if that is a blessing or something I need to worry about. Mostly I am scratching my itch with sunflower seeds and fake dip for the stronger urges (once or twice a day since day 4- days 1-3 I was going through 2 cans of fake dip a day). Obviously as you all know and I have stated many times KTC is my crutch as advertised. I have a low level (almost background noise) feeling that is most common, and I believe this is what is refered to as the 'Suck'. The Suck is Nic bitches lies about how much I miss her (I really don't), and how lousy everything is without her poison embrace. In my past attempts at quitting I remember the Suck being way worse, and again not sure if I should be happy about the lower level of Suck or be ready for the other shoe to drop. Keeping my guard up, but happy I am not as miserable as I thought I would be. O.k. enough ramblein' for now I have a bikeride to take.
You are catching on man. You can do this. Post roll, keep promise, rinse and repeat.
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Made it through day 8 and kept my promise. I think I might be able to sleep tonite. Exersice helps, I rode my bike 12 miles hard. I haven't gotten a cardio in like that in months! Gotta get to the store and stock up on fruits and veggies as I am eating all the damn time. Even cutting out all the beer and booze I was used to drinking, and exersiceing way more I have gained a few pounds... At least I have kept that shit out of my mouth; that's all that counts right now. O.k. back in the a.m. to repeat.
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Made it through day 8 and kept my promise. I think I might be able to sleep tonite. Exersice helps, I rode my bike 12 miles hard. I haven't gotten a cardio in like that in months! Gotta get to the store and stock up on fruits and veggies as I am eating all the damn time. Even cutting out all the beer and booze I was used to drinking, and exersiceing way more I have gained a few pounds... At least I have kept that shit out of my mouth; that's all that counts right now. O.k. back in the a.m. to repeat.
Hey - popcorn is another good low calorie food to fill you up, but remember to focus on the quit first as even if you put on a few pounds you can always shed them later.
In my first 100 days I gained 30 pounds. I held that even for a couple of months and starting in May 2nd til now I have lost 25 of them.
So give it time and things will even out.
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Slept ok last nite. Would have been better if my 5 year old hadn't needed her daddy at 2am, but other than that I got some rest. Had strange half remembered dreams last nite; I don't think caver dreams, but more like addict dreams... IDK. Anyway day 9 I posted roll and have things to do before I have to work tonite. I am pumped that I will be doing all nic free today!
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Slept ok last nite. Would have been better if my 5 year old hadn't needed her daddy at 2am, but other than that I got some rest. Had strange half remembered dreams last nite; I don't think caver dreams, but more like addict dreams... IDK. Anyway day 9 I posted roll and have things to do before I have to work tonite. I am pumped that I will be doing all nic free today!
One day at a time Matt. It will all come around. Your brain is being re-booted, nic free.Glad you have joined us, and jumped down the rabbit hole.
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Damn... I wa gonna say something... KKL I can't concentrate when you post...
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Perfect 10! Thank you!
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Ok I had a possible breakthrough about my triggers (jiggly DDs)... I am noticing the suck and strongest craves after I eat a meal (flat 6pack abs)... I wonder if Nic bitch (she def don't look like KKLs av Nic looks more like that alien singer in Jabba the Hutts palace) is making me eat more cause that is my strongest trigger??? Might be total bull shit theory as I am a big boy who likes to eat anyway, and has chosen his career to accomodate this, but I am having the munchies more now than when I smoked pot alot... I can hear my wife snoring now... Please God let the ear plugs be strong enough tonite!!
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you foggy little fucker....look to your left and count those sheep.
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Day 10: a little tired, but that is due to workinglate and getting up early to get my kids off to school. Feeling good so far today...
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Day 11- I slep good last nite. I think it was due to being on live chat for first time, and closing the night with jvest taking the plunge! Bad assed! Now I know about getting "quit wood". KTC is sucking me in but I have things to do today. Feeling strong in my quit today. Probably be back tonite ranting about how my day sucked knowing how feeling great often works out for me...
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Day 11- I slep good last nite. I think it was due to being on live chat for first time, and closing the night with jvest taking the plunge! Bad assed! Now I know about getting "quit wood". KTC is sucking me in but I have things to do today. Feeling strong in my quit today. Probably be back tonite ranting about how my day sucked knowing how feeling great often works out for me...
You have drank the kool-aide Matt.... to late.
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So the other shoe never dropped. Busy night at work with a new summer menu. My mind was in the gutter all night and the nic bitch was a constant fucking annoyance. Craves could be strong to the point of depression, but vanished every time once I realized them for what they where... Seeds and jolly ranchers got me through the worst of it. Said screw it and had a couple drinks tonite once I felt confident I was strong in my quit. Only 2nd time in 12 days I have had alcohol: I am still very cautious about drinking opening me up to the nic bitches ways... I will sleep good tonite for sure as I worked my ass off today with housework, vigorus exercise, and a long hot shift of work... Wow that all sounds very ghey... too tired to care...
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So the other shoe never dropped. Busy night at work with a new summer menu. My mind was in the gutter all night and the nic bitch was a constant fucking annoyance. Craves could be strong to the point of depression, but vanished every time once I realized them for what they where... Seeds and jolly ranchers got me through the worst of it. Said screw it and had a couple drinks tonite once I felt confident I was strong in my quit. Only 2nd time in 12 days I have had alcohol: I am still very cautious about drinking opening me up to the nic bitches ways... I will sleep good tonite for sure as I worked my ass off today with housework, vigorus exercise, and a long hot shift of work... Wow that all sounds very ghey... too tired to care...
Not ghey. Normal. You won another day. That's all that matters.
Soon the small victories will add up. And things wlll get easier. I promise.
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Holly crap did I just get the FOG! Got a great nites sleep again (wife even let me sleep in) started day with a work out and a supper healthy breakfast. Then I took my 7 year old down to the school parking lot so she could practice ridding her bike w/o training wheels, and this involved me basicly running 100 meter wind sprints for 20 minutes; my fat ass did better at it than I thought I would (thank you bike rides last 2 weeks). Started making dinner thinking about how much I am loving being free and wham, Fog city. Mind you it's a good fog right now just glad I am not needing to drive or operate heavy machinery.
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Holly crap did I just get the FOG! Got a great nites sleep again (wife even let me sleep in) started day with a work out and a supper healthy breakfast. Then I took my 7 year old down to the school parking lot so she could practice ridding her bike w/o training wheels, and this involved me basicly running 100 meter wind sprints for 20 minutes; my fat ass did better at it than I thought I would (thank you bike rides last 2 weeks). Started making dinner thinking about how much I am loving being free and wham, Fog city. Mind you it's a good fog right now just glad I am not needing to drive or operate heavy machinery.
might want to set the cutlery down and step away from the blender/food processor as well
go chug a quart of water
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Lol no doubt just stirrin' my gumbo now though all my choppin's done. I didn't even have to drink the sherry to muddle my brain this time just the KTC brand kool-aid. :wacko:
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Lol no doubt just stirrin' my gumbo now though all my choppin's done. I didn't even have to drink the sherry to muddle my brain this time just the KTC brand kool-aid. :wacko:
Sounds to me like your learning that life is rewarding without the can. It sounds like your are proving the poison wrong. You are discovering the lies. I quit with you today my friend.
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So my wife is a smoker, pack or so a day, and I hate it... I could never say anything about it since I was a dipper... We are both fucking nic addicts. I still can't say anything to my wife about the smoking, and she has always been good about smoking outside and keeping it away from our children. Today, when I came home with my oldest from her bike minus training wheels practice, I had loaded her bike into the suberban command unit (I have never, do not, and never will own a mini van... It is a suburban command unit damn you!) since the school parking lot is far enough away to warrent it, and I needed to unload it when we got back. I opened the garage door and my oldest went into the garage while I unloaded the minivan... er suburban command vehicle. My wife had left her Butt tray in the garage as it was raining last nite, and once I had unloaded the command vehicle and entered the garage I found my baby unraveling a 3/4 smoked cancer stick. I was speachless for a moment, but my indignation, and horror won out: "baby don't play with that poison! I don't ever want you touching that! I don't want your mother touching that, but it might be too late for her! It is tobacco, and it is a trap! If you try it it will hook you and you will be hard pressed to stop using it..." I have never felt such terror, and I also had immediate empathy for all the dippers and ex-dippers who caught their child packing a cancer dare in their mouth. My daughter asked "what do you mean hooked daddy? Like a fish baby, once you hook that fish it has to fight for its life to get free or you own it, and sometimes the fish will rip its' face off to get free." I know I have to have a heart to heart with her now, but I hate that I need to crush a part of her innocence at such a young age, but I couldn't stand it if I wait to warn her and wait too long. I also am caught in a rock and a hard place by the truth: yeah I quit, and it was the hardest thing I ever did, but your momma has not quit yet because she is not ready and may never be... God damn tobacco I fucking hate all you represent!
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Closng out the weekend and week 2 feeling strong. Had my first dip dream that I can remember last night. I was at my corner c-store looking for my fix but they were out of apple so I was going to get straight or peach, but then they found the apple, and of course I was going to get 2 (fucking brilliant marketing plan right, I mean someone always has a buy 2 save a buck sale! Why yes I only go through 1 can a day, but I will buy another 2mro so why not save that buck? Funny how my ussage went up to 2 cans a day shortly after I began finding buy 2 and save deals...). Well I had that little epiphany durring my dream and got so mad at myself and UST that I walked out of the store without buying lip turd. Not even in my dreams Nic!
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I had loaded her bike into the suberban command unit (I have never, do not, and never will own a mini van... It is a suburban command unit damn you!)
2 things hit me here - 1st is funny and I am going to use this forever more:
I have never, do not, and never will own a mini van... It is a suburban command unit damn you!
2 not funny but know exactly how you felt my oldest son just hit middle school, found him with a tin of hooch (which I now have in my arsenal of quit) pulled him aside told him the truth about dip - showed him my gum lines and this site.. he is old enough that I could involve him in my quit - another person to be accountable to.
Thanks for sharing that story
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Day 14! Wow can't hardly believe it has been two weeks already. Feels great. I know I still have lots of suck in my future, but let's face it everyone has suck in their future as that is part of life. KTC is helping me see the suck for what it is: nic bitchs' empty lies. There are eough real problems in life that nics' bs sucky feeling isn't worth my time. Up yours nic I quit!
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Day 14! Wow can't hardly believe it has been two weeks already. Feels great. I know I still have lots of suck in my future, but let's face it everyone has suck in their future as that is part of life. KTC is helping me see the suck for what it is: nic bitchs' empty lies. There are eough real problems in life that nics' bs sucky feeling isn't worth my time. Up yours nic I quit!
True words! Suck happens no matter what. Glad you see it for what it is! Good job!
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Day 14! Wow can't hardly believe it has been two weeks already. Feels great. I know I still have lots of suck in my future, but let's face it everyone has suck in their future as that is part of life. KTC is helping me see the suck for what it is: nic bitchs' empty lies. There are eough real problems in life that nics' bs sucky feeling isn't worth my time. Up yours nic I quit!
True words! Suck happens no matter what. Glad you see it for what it is! Good job!
Thanks J.F. love the fire fist btw.
Made it through day 14 without much suck and no fog. Been stringing together a bunch of days like that in week 2; not craving it bad at all. When I do have an actual 'want a dip moment' it disapears as soon as I realize what is going on. The main reason for this is that I have accepted that I am a nic addict, and because of this I can never use nic again for any reason... It is not an option. This commitment is made possible because I finaly made my mind up that the health risks, the money out of my pocket (and where that money was going), and being a slave were not a price I was willing to pay anymore for something I didn't even like doing. In short it was the right time for me to quit. I am certain I could not do this without the support on this site. I know from past experiences that one dip will send me right back to where I was, and that another 'right time to quit for me' might be a long ways down the road if it ever comes. The daily promise not to use, the cancer stories and pics, the contract to quit, phone numbers to call or txt b4 I cave so that I must have their permission first, the threads which tell of the common things all of us quitters experience, the distractions offered in those threads and others, the inspiration I get from all the bad ass quitters here, and the help I have gotten building a rightous hate for the nic bitch, all these things I give thanks for.
I am still working on the oral fixation thing, and still having issues with the suck and fog from time to time, but I am starting to realize that I AM doing this! I also am expecting to have bad days in the future, but I would have those even if I wasn't a nic addict. Besides, thanks to KTC I have a plan in place for when those bad days come. I'll be here drinking the kool-aid baby!
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End of day 15 thank God. Slept like shit last night. Couldn't fall asleep then woke up sick and couldn't fall asleep again. I had to get up with the kids this morning, and my wife called just as I was getting a nap... Danm cranky all day, didn't get a productive thing done, felt sick and tired, and had the fog today. Still didn't want to dip. Thanks KTC.
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End of day 15 thank God. Slept like shit last night. Couldn't fall asleep then woke up sick and couldn't fall asleep again. I had to get up with the kids this morning, and my wife called just as I was getting a nap... Danm cranky all day, didn't get a productive thing done, felt sick and tired, and had the fog today. Still didn't want to dip. Thanks KTC.
Read your thread tonight - congrats on your quit! When my craves hit I always think about something I read here on KTC - you only "think" X activity was better with nic. Reality couldn't be further from the truth. It's like a mirage or hallucination, but when your senses come back, you see it's just that nic whore behind the curtain.
Keep it up! Quit with you today!
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Day 16- slept like a rock last night. Had to get the kids off to school, and now I am getting my a.m. KTC fix b4 I get productive. Feeling better today after +1, gets better each day even if today is a harder struggle than yesterday.
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Day 17- started hearin' the Nic bitchs' wispers last night and this morning... NAFAR biotch! One of my best friends had been nic free for 6+ years and just started up again recently... Really threw me for a loop last night to hear that. He is going through a very difficult time right now and was seeking comfort from the can, and predictably he is hooked harder than ever now. I told him about my quit and KTC, but I could tell he was not interested in quitting at this time. We were talking about the good old days b4 we had any real responsibilities. Made me think about how stupid my friends and I were to all be dipping like we did... I also think it woke the nic bitch up: trying and tell me 'see remember how much fun we used to have', and 'even if you stop dipping for years I will always be waiting for you'. So I am doing what I know, posted roll first thing, lined up my seeds, gum, hard candies, and fake dip, and got ready to quit today...
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Day 17- started hearin' the Nic bitchs' wispers last night and this morning... NAFAR biotch! One of my best friends had been nic free for 6+ years and just started up again recently... Really threw me for a loop last night to hear that. He is going through a very difficult time right now and was seeking comfort from the can, and predictably he is hooked harder than ever now. I told him about my quit and KTC, but I could tell he was not interested in quitting at this time. We were talking about the good old days b4 we had any real responsibilities. Made me think about how stupid my friends and I were to all be dipping like we did... I also think it woke the nic bitch up: trying and tell me 'see remember how much fun we used to have', and 'even if you stop dipping for years I will always be waiting for you'. So I am doing what I know, posted roll first thing, lined up my seeds, gum, hard candies, and fake dip, and got ready to quit today...
If at any point today you decide to maybe listen to the nic bitch or become tempted to join your friend in a dip, Send me a text or call. I will more then gladly drive 90 mins and kick you in the nuts so you come back to reality! Sounds like you got this under control already so I shouldn't have to assault you, but just wanted to extend the offer! Good job on seeing the craves for what they are! SHIT!
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You got this bud.
His quit doesn't affect your quit.
I'm with ya on the fog and poor sleep. The last three mornings I've woken up early and right after a dip dream. It's like my head is constantly in a cloud, my throat hurts and last night my tongue went numb.
And you know what?? It's all worth it. 100%. Without question. Guess what I did last night? I went out to eat with friends and didn't dip, didn't even think about saying I had to go to the bathroom in order to obey the nicotine master. This morning I woke up, had breakfast, and didn't have to dip quick before brushing my teeth and getting out the door.
If a hazy mind, insomnia, and some general discomfort are the admission price for freedom from something that OWNED me, then count me in. You got this. Freedom ain't easy. But it's worth the fight. Every day.
I'll PM you with digits; feel free to text me if you need anything.
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Day 17- started hearin' the Nic bitchs' wispers last night and this morning... NAFAR biotch! One of my best friends had been nic free for 6+ years and just started up again recently... Really threw me for a loop last night to hear that. He is going through a very difficult time right now and was seeking comfort from the can, and predictably he is hooked harder than ever now. I told him about my quit and KTC, but I could tell he was not interested in quitting at this time. We were talking about the good old days b4 we had any real responsibilities. Made me think about how stupid my friends and I were to all be dipping like we did... I also think it woke the nic bitch up: trying and tell me 'see remember how much fun we used to have', and 'even if you stop dipping for years I will always be waiting for you'. So I am doing what I know, posted roll first thing, lined up my seeds, gum, hard candies, and fake dip, and got ready to quit today...
If at any point today you decide to maybe listen to the nic bitch or become tempted to join your friend in a dip, Send me a text or call. I will more then gladly drive 90 mins and kick you in the nuts so you come back to reality! Sounds like you got this under control already so I shouldn't have to assault you, but just wanted to extend the offer! Good job on seeing the craves for what they are! SHIT!
Thanks Jake. I will call you if I need a kick in the nuts, but I got this covered today.
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Day 17- started hearin' the Nic bitchs' wispers last night and this morning... NAFAR biotch! One of my best friends had been nic free for 6+ years and just started up again recently... Really threw me for a loop last night to hear that. He is going through a very difficult time right now and was seeking comfort from the can, and predictably he is hooked harder than ever now. I told him about my quit and KTC, but I could tell he was not interested in quitting at this time. We were talking about the good old days b4 we had any real responsibilities. Made me think about how stupid my friends and I were to all be dipping like we did... I also think it woke the nic bitch up: trying and tell me 'see remember how much fun we used to have', and 'even if you stop dipping for years I will always be waiting for you'. So I am doing what I know, posted roll first thing, lined up my seeds, gum, hard candies, and fake dip, and got ready to quit today...
If at any point today you decide to maybe listen to the nic bitch or become tempted to join your friend in a dip, Send me a text or call. I will more then gladly drive 90 mins and kick you in the nuts so you come back to reality! Sounds like you got this under control already so I shouldn't have to assault you, but just wanted to extend the offer! Good job on seeing the craves for what they are! SHIT!
Thanks Jake. I will call you if I need a kick in the nuts, but I got this covered today.
I am 15 minutes out of Buffalo so I will come kick you in the nuts first then by the time you are gettin up off the ground Jake can follow suit 'finger point' ..it's all out of love brother!
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Day 17- started hearin' the Nic bitchs' wispers last night and this morning... NAFAR biotch! One of my best friends had been nic free for 6+ years and just started up again recently... Really threw me for a loop last night to hear that. He is going through a very difficult time right now and was seeking comfort from the can, and predictably he is hooked harder than ever now. I told him about my quit and KTC, but I could tell he was not interested in quitting at this time. We were talking about the good old days b4 we had any real responsibilities. Made me think about how stupid my friends and I were to all be dipping like we did... I also think it woke the nic bitch up: trying and tell me 'see remember how much fun we used to have', and 'even if you stop dipping for years I will always be waiting for you'. So I am doing what I know, posted roll first thing, lined up my seeds, gum, hard candies, and fake dip, and got ready to quit today...
If at any point today you decide to maybe listen to the nic bitch or become tempted to join your friend in a dip, Send me a text or call. I will more then gladly drive 90 mins and kick you in the nuts so you come back to reality! Sounds like you got this under control already so I shouldn't have to assault you, but just wanted to extend the offer! Good job on seeing the craves for what they are! SHIT!
Thanks Jake. I will call you if I need a kick in the nuts, but I got this covered today.
I am 15 minutes out of Buffalo so I will come kick you in the nuts first then by the time you are gettin up off the ground Jake can follow suit 'finger point' ..it's all out of love brother!
LOL I have a sturdy desk with a nut sack high drawer... I could always call one of you guys and ask for permission to cave, and you could talk me through a nut slam in the desk drawer! Save you guys alot of gas money... BTW I can get to you just as easy if you need the wake-up call.
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End day 17: ok so week 2 was a relative walk in the park, and I knew to expect the going to get tougher. It has. Week 3 isn't even close to the hell week 1 was, but it is proving to be several orders of magnitude harder than week 2. Not even close to caving though! I have a plan now thanks to KTC, and also I figure I can use the money I am saving on lip turds to buy some distractions... I haven't watched this many movies in a week for years, comedy specials are great too. For less than the cost of being a slave in N.Y. for a week you can get a hell of a deep tissue massage too, and that is just what the doctor ordered after a couple of weeks with exercise. Talk about stress releif...
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Agreed!! When I chewed comedies were always tougher because you laughed and air got into the dip, making them last for shorter durations. I'm a big Arrested Development fan and getting to watch the new episodes dip-free has been F-A-N-T-A-S-T-I-C!!
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Good to see you pressing on matt. Yes, I too thought the first couple weeks were easier sometimes than other times. I believe the first couple weeks it's all new and exciting which help with the withdraws. Not saying the first two weeks are easy by no means, but when the 3rd week hit reality started to sink in. The emotional roller coaster can be rough.
The two to three week mark can be a bear, get those tools ready. Don't be scared to call someone. It sounds like you have a lot of backing, don't hesitate to reach out.
You've come to far now brother, you might as well see this thing through. I've noticed in my short quitting career that two to three weeks is when a lot of people drop off.
There is a door that you need to open brother. Its right beyond where your at right now. Your going to like whats beyond the door. The thing is you have to push through to get there. I quit with you brother.
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End day 18- Work was a trial and a blessing today. Worked a 10+ hour shift with a 10 minute brake and 2 piss brakes... Triggers all day... I would have gone through 1 1/2 tins at work today if I was still a slave... Blessing part was that there was no way for me to cave even if I wanted to. That helped beat back the nic bitch. bax txted me to say he was going off grid and asked me to post roll for him, and that added responsibility heled too. I can't possibly post for bax if I cave, and I promised him I would... I also got a blessing from work as my wife went to bed a few minutes after I got home which was good because I was in a mood and even though I was trying to be good I would have been a nasty bastard had anyone been trying to interact with me. srans sent me his # which I need to recipricate on, and also his post on this thread... Probably the highlight of my day brother! I kept that idea of having to open a door that lies in front of me in my head all day, and I pushed through one of the suckiest days of my quit since the poison has been out of my system. Thank you! This weekend may be the toughest yet asmy wife is planning on taking our children out of town to see my in-laws for the weekend. Not sure how I feel about having a weekend to myself right now... If you have given me your phone # I promise I will txt or call if I need a kick in the balls...
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End day 18- Work was a trial and a blessing today. Worked a 10+ hour shift with a 10 minute brake and 2 piss brakes... Triggers all day... I would have gone through 1 1/2 tins at work today if I was still a slave... Blessing part was that there was no way for me to cave even if I wanted to. That helped beat back the nic bitch. bax txted me to say he was going off grid and asked me to post roll for him, and that added responsibility heled too. I can't possibly post for bax if I cave, and I promised him I would... I also got a blessing from work as my wife went to bed a few minutes after I got home which was good because I was in a mood and even though I was trying to be good I would have been a nasty bastard had anyone been trying to interact with me. srans sent me his # which I need to recipricate on, and also his post on this thread... Probably the highlight of my day brother! I kept that idea of having to open a door that lies in front of me in my head all day, and I pushed through one of the suckiest days of my quit since the poison has been out of my system. Thank you! This weekend may be the toughest yet asmy wife is planning on taking our children out of town to see my in-laws for the weekend. Not sure how I feel about having a weekend to myself right now... If you have given me your phone # I promise I will txt or call if I need a kick in the balls...
I know how you can feel about the weekend brother. Good!! The weekend will be great!! Stay busy, go out and do something that won't get you in trouble. There is this new movie out that might be ok,, super man!! Can't wait to see it myself.. Just stay busy and enjoy the weekend like you would any other time. You don't need the poison,, NEVER DID!! I'll quit with you all weekend brother.
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Day 19- ok so the trepidation I had last night about having a weekend to myself has yeilded to some excitement about the prospects. Not sure if I will go for super productive or just sit on the couch all day, but good stuff here today. One things for sure I will not use nic today!
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Day 20. Had me a lazy day yesterday. Made sushi and watched the hockey game. Nic bitch tried jumping me hard a couple of times yesterday (as I was driving home a couple of blocks b4 my c-store), but I just got mad as hell at her and told her to piss off cause I quit yesterday. Felt so good I woke up and quit again today. I am embracing the dark side and giving in to a healthy hate and anger for the poison. It feels good to hit back even if the people in the car next to me think I am bat-shit crazy...
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Day 20. Had me a lazy day yesterday. Made sushi and watched the hockey game. Nic bitch tried jumping me hard a couple of times yesterday (as I was driving home a couple of blocks b4 my c-store), but I just got mad as hell at her and told her to piss off cause I quit yesterday. Felt so good I woke up and quit again today. I am embracing the dark side and giving in to a healthy hate and anger for the poison. It feels good to hit back even if the people in the car next to me think I am bat-shit crazy...
Good shit Matt. Who you going for in the Stanley Cup?
Gotta love those little victories before the c-store and tellin' the nic bitch to fuck off!!! Reminds me of how strong we really are battling this addiction! Stay strong brother the weekend is almost over! Enjoy it! I quit with you another day!
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Go B-lo! Road rage OK as long as you contain inside the vehicle I guess! I brought home my new heavy bag now just need gloves that'll be my new outlet. Good job getting to day 20, 1/4 the way to HOF. For some reason I'm really looking forward to #100.
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Day 20. Had me a lazy day yesterday. Made sushi and watched the hockey game. Nic bitch tried jumping me hard a couple of times yesterday (as I was driving home a couple of blocks b4 my c-store), but I just got mad as hell at her and told her to piss off cause I quit yesterday. Felt so good I woke up and quit again today. I am embracing the dark side and giving in to a healthy hate and anger for the poison. It feels good to hit back even if the people in the car next to me think I am bat-shit crazy...
Good shit Matt. Who you going for in the Stanley Cup?
Gotta love those little victories before the c-store and tellin' the nic bitch to fuck off!!! Reminds me of how strong we really are battling this addiction! Stay strong brother the weekend is almost over! Enjoy it! I quit with you another day!
Rootin' for the blackhawks. I hate my Sabres right now, but that is nothing compared to my loathing for boston sports teams. Those 'long-suffering' fans in bean town haven't won a world championship in what 5 minutes... If Cam Neely and Ray Bourque couldn't win one cup in boston, I do not see the justice in Lucic and Chara winning 2...
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Go B-lo! Road rage OK as long as you contain inside the vehicle I guess! I brought home my new heavy bag now just need gloves that'll be my new outlet. Good job getting to day 20, 1/4 the way to HOF. For some reason I'm really looking forward to #100.
Gonna see if my brother will let me beat on his heavy. That sounds like the perfect outlet for some nic hatein' rage!
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End week 3! Feeling great about being nic free for 3, but feeling like shit for pigging out over Fathers day weekend... Starting to get truely health tommorow. Might hit up the fast food quitters thread. I have been exercising way more than I was used to, but also pigging out way more... I need to drop some pounds, and now seems like the best time... Oh yeah Fu Nic and up yours UST! Hope you both get the big C and die...
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Moving right along b lo, seems like just yesterday was you first day here, proud to be quit with you today.
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Day 22- Memo to future self: today has been great so far. Last day of school for kids spent hanging with my wife. Nieces kindergarten graduation, out for breakfast, went and saw Man of Steel. Not a single crave the whole time, not even in the movie! So next time you find yourself having a rough day come back here and read this, and know that good days lie ahead, an that the more +1s you pile up the more good days you will have...
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Moving right along b lo, seems like just yesterday was you first day here, proud to be quit with you today.
Thanks m.a. worth every bit of suck along the way to get here! Seems quicker looking back at it than going through it.
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Day 22- Memo to future self: today has been great so far. Last day of school for kids spent hanging with my wife. Nieces kindergarten graduation, out for breakfast, went and saw Man of Steel. Not a single crave the whole time, not even in the movie! So next time you find yourself having a rough day come back here and read this, and know that good days lie ahead, an that the more +1s you pile up the more good days you will have...
Isn't it awesome to live in the moment and really BE there? No craving to take you away........
Happy for you and quit with you! Congrats and keep up the quit!
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Day 22- Memo to future self: today has been great so far. Last day of school for kids spent hanging with my wife. Nieces kindergarten graduation, out for breakfast, went and saw Man of Steel. Not a single crave the whole time, not even in the movie! So next time you find yourself having a rough day come back here and read this, and know that good days lie ahead, an that the more +1s you pile up the more good days you will have...
Isn't it awesome to live in the moment and really BE there? No craving to take you away........
Happy for you and quit with you! Congrats and keep up the quit!
Hey Matt...............You're winning!!!!!! Keep your guard up though, she will sneak in when you are at your weakest. I quit with you today.
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Day 23- Just want to say again for the record that Nic can piss off... Love this site, and my quit. Having a good morning so far without any cancer weed crammed in my gob. NAFAR!
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Day 23- Just want to say again for the record that Nic can piss off... Love this site, and my quit. Having a good morning so far without any cancer weed crammed in my gob. NAFAR!
Good job matt. Keep adding them +1's. I'll be quit with you all day.
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Day 24 working out, planning a fun day with my kids, and so far other than getting on KTC, I am not thinking about death in a can at all! Starting to look forward to one month.
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Day 25: quarter way to the HOF. Seems to have gone by so quick, but that is because I don't want to remember day 1 and the first week. Never let yourself forget how bad that first day and week was! I am going to get to day 26 because I posted roll this morning, and gave my word, and that is all I am worried about today. I can see the trap though: it is starting to get so much easier to be quit. First week was a minute to minute fight for most of the time, but last two weeks there have only been 2 roughish days, and those were not as bad as the first week. Assuming that most quits get even easier as time goes by, it is of upmost importance to remember the first day/week, and to never forget that you are 1 dip away from being a slave again... I need to keep developing and nurturing my hate and anger for nic and tobacco. I want my first reaction when I think about nic to be of revulsion and angry defiance always...
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Day 25: quarter way to the HOF. Seems to have gone by so quick, but that is because I don't want to remember day 1 and the first week. Never let yourself forget how bad that first day and week was! I am going to get to day 26 because I posted roll this morning, and gave my word, and that is all I am worried about today. I can see the trap though: it is starting to get so much easier to be quit. First week was a minute to minute fight for most of the time, but last two weeks there have only been 2 roughish days, and those were not as bad as the first week. Assuming that most quits get even easier as time goes by, it is of upmost importance to remember the first day/week, and to never forget that you are 1 dip away from being a slave again... I need to keep developing and nurturing my hate and anger for nic and tobacco. I want my first reaction when I think about nic to be of revulsion and angry defiance always...
Truer words have never been said! Cultivate your anger!
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Day 25: quarter way to the HOF. Seems to have gone by so quick, but that is because I don't want to remember day 1 and the first week. Never let yourself forget how bad that first day and week was! I am going to get to day 26 because I posted roll this morning, and gave my word, and that is all I am worried about today. I can see the trap though: it is starting to get so much easier to be quit. First week was a minute to minute fight for most of the time, but last two weeks there have only been 2 roughish days, and those were not as bad as the first week. Assuming that most quits get even easier as time goes by, it is of upmost importance to remember the first day/week, and to never forget that you are 1 dip away from being a slave again... I need to keep developing and nurturing my hate and anger for nic and tobacco. I want my first reaction when I think about nic to be of revulsion and angry defiance always...
Truer words have never been said! Cultivate your anger!
A lot of wisdom in that post. Read my signature line brother. I'm glad to be quit with anyone that wants to hate the poison. It fuels me!
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Day 25: quarter way to the HOF. Seems to have gone by so quick, but that is because I don't want to remember day 1 and the first week. Never let yourself forget how bad that first day and week was! I am going to get to day 26 because I posted roll this morning, and gave my word, and that is all I am worried about today. I can see the trap though: it is starting to get so much easier to be quit. First week was a minute to minute fight for most of the time, but last two weeks there have only been 2 roughish days, and those were not as bad as the first week. Assuming that most quits get even easier as time goes by, it is of upmost importance to remember the first day/week, and to never forget that you are 1 dip away from being a slave again... I need to keep developing and nurturing my hate and anger for nic and tobacco. I want my first reaction when I think about nic to be of revulsion and angry defiance always...
Truer words have never been said! Cultivate your anger!
A lot of wisdom in that post. Read my signature line brother. I'm glad to be quit with anyone that wants to hate the poison. It fuels me!
srans you are my sith master.
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Day 25: quarter way to the HOF. Seems to have gone by so quick, but that is because I don't want to remember day 1 and the first week. Never let yourself forget how bad that first day and week was! I am going to get to day 26 because I posted roll this morning, and gave my word, and that is all I am worried about today. I can see the trap though: it is starting to get so much easier to be quit. First week was a minute to minute fight for most of the time, but last two weeks there have only been 2 roughish days, and those were not as bad as the first week. Assuming that most quits get even easier as time goes by, it is of upmost importance to remember the first day/week, and to never forget that you are 1 dip away from being a slave again... I need to keep developing and nurturing my hate and anger for nic and tobacco. I want my first reaction when I think about nic to be of revulsion and angry defiance always...
Truer words have never been said! Cultivate your anger!
A lot of wisdom in that post. Read my signature line brother. I'm glad to be quit with anyone that wants to hate the poison. It fuels me!
Hey Folks we got a real quitter here...bling the lights are on and the nic whore isnt welcome here....you gotta hate it. Now, I look at peeps with a full lip of shit with pitty not envy you gotta hate the shit....quit with you today brother.
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Day 25: quarter way to the HOF. Seems to have gone by so quick, but that is because I don't want to remember day 1 and the first week. Never let yourself forget how bad that first day and week was! I am going to get to day 26 because I posted roll this morning, and gave my word, and that is all I am worried about today. I can see the trap though: it is starting to get so much easier to be quit. First week was a minute to minute fight for most of the time, but last two weeks there have only been 2 roughish days, and those were not as bad as the first week. Assuming that most quits get even easier as time goes by, it is of upmost importance to remember the first day/week, and to never forget that you are 1 dip away from being a slave again... I need to keep developing and nurturing my hate and anger for nic and tobacco. I want my first reaction when I think about nic to be of revulsion and angry defiance always...
Right on Matt. I'm glad the vets told us to document that 1st week. And now you have the tools to stay involved in the site. Continue to nourish and feed your quit as LeBron nourishes and feeds his game.
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End day 25: fast 10 hours at work; actually found myself laughing at the pathetic craves that lasted less than seconds. Crave- recognize it for the pathetic lie it was- get pissed that I was a slave to this bullshit- honestly happy not to have to puta lip turd in... instant anger when I hear nics' wispers; 'fuck off I quit!'. Inspired today not so much by vets for a change; rather, by some bad asses less far along on their quits than I: Suckmydip for taking the plunge, JRizzle for keeping it optamistic, grizzly for powering through his first week, and gettinbreezy for the best come-back I have ever heard (see his intro tread about coaching his sons baseball team).
I could be quit all by myself if I was stranded on an island that had no nic, but in the real world I can be quit with the help of my brothers and sisters on KTC!
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End day 25: fast 10 hours at work; actually found myself laughing at the pathetic craves that lasted less than seconds. Crave- recognize it for the pathetic lie it was- get pissed that I was a slave to this bullshit- honestly happy not to have to puta lip turd in... instant anger when I hear nics' wispers; 'fuck off I quit!'. Inspired today not so much by vets for a change; rather, by some bad asses less far along on their quits than I: Suckmydip for taking the plunge, JRizzle for keeping it optamistic, grizzly for powering through his first week, and gettinbreezy for the best come-back I have ever heard. I could be quit all by myself if I was stranded on an island that had no nic, but in the real world I can be quit with the help of my brothers and sisters on KTC!
Just looked through your intro matt. Pure quitting excellence. You have come a long ways in such a short time. If you haven't lately, read through it again. You used words like hope in the beginning. I don't see that no more brother. I see a man with the pure intention of staying quit. You went from someone unsure, but really wanting to be quit, to someone that is sure about his quit and knows what and how it's done. I'm glad to be quit right beside you brother.
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End day 26: Thanks to srans I just read my thread from start to finish, and it confirmed my belief that I am just like all the other addicts here... The stories of others inspired me that I could walk the same path. I had a good day today, got the dog shit cleaned up and cut the lawn, had fun with my girls, and smacked the nic bitch down every time she showed here ugly face. Knowledge, anger, and seeds got me through another day. Tomorrow will be tough as it will be the first time I hang out with my oldest and best friend. He is still dipping, and is the one I first tried tobacco with way back when b4 we hit puberty. He will most likely offer me one, but this time is different. Every other time I tried to quit I was alone, and did not have the knowledge base I do now. I know that I am an addict now and NAFAR is now my motto!
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End day 26: Thanks to srans I just read my thread from start to finish, and it confirmed my belief that I am just like all the other addicts here... The stories of others inspired me that I could walk the same path. I had a good day today, got the dog shit cleaned up and cut the lawn, had fun with my girls, and smacked the nic bitch down every time she showed here ugly face. Knowledge, anger, and seeds got me through another day. Tomorrow will be tough as it will be the first time I hang out with my oldest and best friend. He is still dipping, and is the one I first tried tobacco with way back when b4 we hit puberty. He will most likely offer me one, but this time is different. Every other time I tried to quit I was alone, and did not have the knowledge base I do now. I know that I am an addict now and NAFAR is now my motto!
That's what I'm talking about. Keep it up Matt.
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End day 26: Thanks to srans I just read my thread from start to finish, and it confirmed my belief that I am just like all the other addicts here... The stories of others inspired me that I could walk the same path. I had a good day today, got the dog shit cleaned up and cut the lawn, had fun with my girls, and smacked the nic bitch down every time she showed here ugly face. Knowledge, anger, and seeds got me through another day. Tomorrow will be tough as it will be the first time I hang out with my oldest and best friend. He is still dipping, and is the one I first tried tobacco with way back when b4 we hit puberty. He will most likely offer me one, but this time is different. Every other time I tried to quit I was alone, and did not have the knowledge base I do now. I know that I am an addict now and NAFAR is now my motto!
That's what I'm talking about. Keep it up Matt.
Everytime I read you posts brother you inspire me. Now your going from a young padawan to jedi. You Should be getting now to where being around friends that dip is bearable. Before long you'll be looking at them with pity. I see my friends that dip as slaves with hope. We are their hope brother. The more learned you become about quitting, the more of an inspiration you will become to your friends.
They need you brother,, they might not no it, but they do. Might as well add another +one. I'll be with you all day.
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Day 28: Headin' to work in a minute, but just wanted to report smooth sailing from yesterday.
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End day 28: great day to be quit. I still have craves every day, but for the most part they are pathetic. Even the worst craves I have been having now are beaten in minutes. I have built my own little crave killing battle plan from the knowledge I gained from reading KTC.
1: crave hits
2: recognize it for what it is: lies from the nic bitch
3: get pissed and I mean a focused rage channeling all my frustration at letting myself be a slave, the bs way society lets tobbaco market itself and poison us, the fact that I have to deal with a stupid crave even though there is no way in hell I will ever put that garbage in my body again, and also all my fear at what damage I have done to myself from being a slave, and the fact that if I were to use again I would be killing myself slowly again! Basicaly all the dark side stuff. I am actively training myself to have all this happen in a fraction of a second as soon as I recognize the crave.
4: 9 times out of ten that is the end of the story; crave is gone as soon as it came, and I go about my life. Sometimes however...
5: 'The Suck'! O.k. so I beat down the crave, but now I feel depressed. I know that depression if left unchecked will weaken my resolve to stay quit, I mean what is the point of being quit if everything sucks?
6: recognize "THE SUCK' for what it is: 'the suck' is just another way the nic bitch lies to us.
7: 2nd part of what the suck is: getting the suck means I am WINNING! Nic is getting desperate 'cause her go to lies aren't working anymore so she is pulling out the stops. Also the suck means I am most likely reprogramming my brain, and I won't have the same trigger set me off or at least as bad in the future.
8: winning puts a smile on my face, an I know the suck wont last for long when I am doing a victory lap in my mind.
I don't know if this will help anyone else, but so far it is working for me. Obviously this is only my way of handling craves; the true strength of my quit comes from posting roll and promising not to use daily. If ever there comes a time when I need it I have steps 9 and 10 too:
9: txt or call my quit brothers to smack some sense into me.
10: slam desk drawer on my nuts!
This is not spinal tap mine doesn't go to 11... unless you count going to the emergency room.
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End day 28: great day to be quit. I still have craves every day, but for the most part they are pathetic. Even the worst craves I have been having now are beaten in minutes. I have built my own little crave killing battle plan from the knowledge I gained from reading KTC.
1: crave hits
2: recognize it for what it is: lies from the nic bitch
3: get pissed and I mean a focused rage channeling all my frustration at letting myself be a slave, the bs way society lets tobbaco market itself and poison us, the fact that I have to deal with a stupid crave even though there is no way in hell I will ever put that garbage in my body again, and also all my fear at what damage I have done to myself from being a slave, and the fact that if I were to use again I would be killing myself slowly again! Basicaly all the dark side stuff. I am actively training myself to have all this happen in a fraction of a second as soon as I recognize the crave.
4: 9 times out of ten that is the end of the story; crave is gone as soon as it came, and I go about my life. Sometimes however...
5: 'The Suck'! O.k. so I beat down the crave, but now I feel depressed. I know that depression if left unchecked will weaken my resolve to stay quit, I mean what is the point of being quit if everything sucks?
6: recognize "THE SUCK' for what it is: 'the suck' is just another way the nic bitch lies to us.
7: 2nd part of what the suck is: getting the suck means I am WINNING! Nic is getting desperate 'cause her go to lies aren't working anymore so she is pulling out the stops. Also the suck means I am most likely reprogramming my brain, and I won't have the same trigger set me off or at least as bad in the future.
8: winning puts a smile on my face, an I know the suck wont last for long when I am doing a victory lap in my mind.
I don't know if this will help anyone else, but so far it is working for me. Obviously this is only my way of handling craves; the true strength of my quit comes from posting roll and promising not to use daily. If ever there comes a time when I need it I have steps 9 and 10 too:
9: txt or call my quit brothers to smack some sense into me.
10: slam desk drawer on my nuts!
This is not spinal tap mine doesn't go to 11... unless you count going to the emergency room.
Thats good. The suck is something appreciated later because you are so right on. It's winning. Love that.
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End day 28: great day to be quit. I still have craves every day, but for the most part they are pathetic. Even the worst craves I have been having now are beaten in minutes. I have built my own little crave killing battle plan from the knowledge I gained from reading KTC.
1: crave hits
2: recognize it for what it is: lies from the nic bitch
3: get pissed and I mean a focused rage channeling all my frustration at letting myself be a slave, the bs way society lets tobbaco market itself and poison us, the fact that I have to deal with a stupid crave even though there is no way in hell I will ever put that garbage in my body again, and also all my fear at what damage I have done to myself from being a slave, and the fact that if I were to use again I would be killing myself slowly again! Basicaly all the dark side stuff. I am actively training myself to have all this happen in a fraction of a second as soon as I recognize the crave.
4: 9 times out of ten that is the end of the story; crave is gone as soon as it came, and I go about my life. Sometimes however...
5: 'The Suck'! O.k. so I beat down the crave, but now I feel depressed. I know that depression if left unchecked will weaken my resolve to stay quit, I mean what is the point of being quit if everything sucks?
6: recognize "THE SUCK' for what it is: 'the suck' is just another way the nic bitch lies to us.
7: 2nd part of what the suck is: getting the suck means I am WINNING! Nic is getting desperate 'cause her go to lies aren't working anymore so she is pulling out the stops. Also the suck means I am most likely reprogramming my brain, and I won't have the same trigger set me off or at least as bad in the future.
8: winning puts a smile on my face, an I know the suck wont last for long when I am doing a victory lap in my mind.
I don't know if this will help anyone else, but so far it is working for me. Obviously this is only my way of handling craves; the true strength of my quit comes from posting roll and promising not to use daily. If ever there comes a time when I need it I have steps 9 and 10 too:
9: txt or call my quit brothers to smack some sense into me.
10: slam desk drawer on my nuts!
This is not spinal tap mine doesn't go to 11... unless you count going to the emergency room.
Thats good. The suck is something appreciated later because you are so right on. It's winning. Love that.
Loved it matt. You got that brain working overtime on this quit. The overtime pay will be double. The more you put into it the better the pay. I'll quit with you anyday of the week.
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End day 28: great day to be quit. I still have craves every day, but for the most part they are pathetic. Even the worst craves I have been having now are beaten in minutes. I have built my own little crave killing battle plan from the knowledge I gained from reading KTC.
1: crave hits
2: recognize it for what it is: lies from the nic bitch
3: get pissed and I mean a focused rage channeling all my frustration at letting myself be a slave, the bs way society lets tobbaco market itself and poison us, the fact that I have to deal with a stupid crave even though there is no way in hell I will ever put that garbage in my body again, and also all my fear at what damage I have done to myself from being a slave, and the fact that if I were to use again I would be killing myself slowly again! Basicaly all the dark side stuff. I am actively training myself to have all this happen in a fraction of a second as soon as I recognize the crave.
4: 9 times out of ten that is the end of the story; crave is gone as soon as it came, and I go about my life. Sometimes however...
5: 'The Suck'! O.k. so I beat down the crave, but now I feel depressed. I know that depression if left unchecked will weaken my resolve to stay quit, I mean what is the point of being quit if everything sucks?
6: recognize "THE SUCK' for what it is: 'the suck' is just another way the nic bitch lies to us.
7: 2nd part of what the suck is: getting the suck means I am WINNING! Nic is getting desperate 'cause her go to lies aren't working anymore so she is pulling out the stops. Also the suck means I am most likely reprogramming my brain, and I won't have the same trigger set me off or at least as bad in the future.
8: winning puts a smile on my face, an I know the suck wont last for long when I am doing a victory lap in my mind.
I don't know if this will help anyone else, but so far it is working for me. Obviously this is only my way of handling craves; the true strength of my quit comes from posting roll and promising not to use daily. If ever there comes a time when I need it I have steps 9 and 10 too:
9: txt or call my quit brothers to smack some sense into me.
10: slam desk drawer on my nuts!
This is not spinal tap mine doesn't go to 11... unless you count going to the emergency room.
Thats good. The suck is something appreciated later because you are so right on. It's winning. Love that.
Loved it matt. You got that brain working overtime on this quit. The overtime pay will be double. The more you put into it the better the pay. I'll quit with you anyday of the week.
Keep it up and keep it close.
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Day 29: Good day some suck some craves, but I am staying productive and winning. Posting 2mro and repeating.
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Day 29: Good day some suck some craves, but I am staying productive and winning. Posting 2mro and repeating.
Keep it up!
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End 30 start 31: One month... I can handle this with KTC and the tools I have aquired. Nic will be everpresent in my quit to one degree or another, and I am aware of the possibility that I might cave... I just know that if I can do anything for 1 day, and I have done it for 1 month, then I have no excuse to cave... I will continue to do what I have done for the last month day after day, and I will get the same results... Happy now, especialy when it sucks! Wait I used to say that about my wife.
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31- OK future self one more tidbit to think about: one months savings in real U.S. dollars $412.92! That is almost $5k a year shithead! NAFAR.
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32- feel like crap today. Don't know if it's a sinus infection or a real bad cold, but I can't breath out of my nose, and my mouth is dry as hell with a sore throat... I would still be throwin' in fatties if I was still a slave. Thank God I am quit.
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Glad to have you in the Sep group. Just think about what you previously said: regardless of the suck, you have successfully quit the last 32 days. So today choose to do what you've chosen to do the last 32 days. Continue to choose to quit. You've done it successfully in the past and it's worked, it's been great. Choose to do it today. You know the way to win.
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32- feel like crap today. Don't know if it's a sinus infection or a real bad cold, but I can't breath out of my nose, and my mouth is dry as hell with a sore throat... I would still be throwin' in fatties if I was still a slave. Thank God I am quit.
Dude! Everyone Including me in my area (2 hrs) from you has the same thing! My sinuses are jacked. Came on quick too!
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End 32- long night at work with only 1 fake dip as a placebo. Laughed at the nic bitch when I realized after every micro crave that I do not, never will, and never did need that poison in my mouth to have a 100% complete life experience. I can still see the dangers to my quit, but I have little fear of them getting to me so long as I keep doing what I am doing (thanks JRiz). PS feeling better for not slapping fat lip turds into my face while being ill! Rock on Quit I am loving freedom!
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33: worked late last night, and my girls were missing me so they got me up early to go to the local village festival and see Nickel City Reptiles. So I basically roll out of bed, eat breakfast, get dressed, and out the door all in a rush. Had a great time as there was a farmers market and vendors all over, met up with family and watched the animals etc., everything was groovy... Then I realized I hadn't thought about dip all morning and into the afternoon :D Only bad part was that in my rush this morning I forgot to post roll first thing. Hot damn I love being free. It does get easier. I know it will get hard again as well, but it was nice to have 5 hours without a thought or a whisper of the nic bitch.
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33: worked late last night, and my girls were missing me so they got me up early to go to the local village festival and see Nickel City Reptiles. So I basically roll out of bed, eat breakfast, get dressed, and out the door all in a rush. Had a great time as there was a farmers market and vendors all over, met up with family and watched the animals etc., everything was groovy... Then I realized I hadn't thought about dip all morning and into the afternoon :D Only bad part was that in my rush this morning I forgot to post roll first thing. Hot damn I love being free. It does get easier. I know it will get hard again as well, but it was nice to have 5 hours without a thought or a whisper of the nic bitch.
Proud of you bro. I love to here stuff like this. Don't look now,,, your winning. I'm quit with you and enjoying every minute.
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END 33: Great shift at work, not busy but got lots of compliments from customers and servers about how much good food our kitchen is putting out! I only had 1 good wad of chewing gum all day as placebo. I am spittin' sunflower seeds now as an end of a quit day treat, but I am trying to cut down on the oral fixation BS. Biggest breakthough of the day: Zero craves! I had a crave free day??! No shite I barely thought about nic today; only when thinking about KTC did I have thoughts about my addiction! I know 2mro I might be crave city, but having a day free of struggle was awesome. never would have though the good days could start to come so soon! Thanks to all my bad assed quit heroes who have helped me get this far! I could not do this without KTC.
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END 33: Great shift at work, not busy but got lots of compliments from customers and servers about how much good food our kitchen is putting out! I only had 1 good wad of chewing gum all day as placebo. I am spittin' sunflower seeds now as an end of a quit day treat, but I am trying to cut down on the oral fixation BS. Biggest breakthough of the day: Zero craves! I had a crave free day??! No shite I barely thought about nic today; only when thinking about KTC did I have thoughts about my addiction! I know 2mro I might be crave city, but having a day free of struggle was awesome. never would have though the good days could start to come so soon! Thanks to all my bad assed quit heroes who have helped me get this far! I could not do this without KTC.
Getting past the 30's are so wonderful. So nice to get past the constant need for a dip. Will still get days with craves, but never again as bad. As long as you stay quit. From what I have read from your intro..not a problem for you since you have such an amazing attitude. GO Matt!
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Start 35: I love waking up and worrying about how much time I have to post roll and drink the Kool-Aid on KTC b4 I have to go to work. This is so much better than worrying if I had enough lip turd left to have a fat mouth full of poison first thing, or if I needed to rush off to work so I could re-up my supply at the c-store on the way! Month two and I feel I have hit a smooth patch where I am hardly thinking about dip at all; it is great. I am staying on my guard for complacency and bumps in the road, but I have definitely have pushed through srans' door.
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End 35: I QLF all day and it has been worth it. I had what I call micro craves today, maybe 4-5 of them. The crave comes, and within a second of realizing that I am having a crave I get pissed at nic and the crave is gone. Quitting this addiction leads to lots of rage so channeling that rage to it's proper target is the key! Love that srans and others have made the dark side so clear to me. KTC has been my lifeline for my quit and will continue to be. Quit today with all the bad-asses!
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End 35: I QLF all day and it has been worth it. I had what I call micro craves today, maybe 4-5 of them. The crave comes, and within a second of realizing that I am having a crave I get pissed at nic and the crave is gone. Quitting this addiction leads to lots of rage so channeling that rage to it's proper target is the key! Love that srans and others have made the dark side so clear to me. KTC has been my lifeline for my quit and will continue to be. Quit today with all the bad-asses!
Youre killing it man. Keep up the great work.
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37- Had a bad night last night- strongest "screw it!" moments of my quit so far, but the tools I now have stopped the nonsense. Holy crap it is a rollercoaster...
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37- Had a bad night last night- strongest "screw it!" moments of my quit so far, but the tools I now have stopped the nonsense. Holy crap it is a rollercoaster...
Good job b lo matt. You say what a rollercoaster. I say go rollercoaster go. Up and down with freedom. Side to side dignity. Around the corner with integrity. I say we keep on riding and never look back. Nothing back there but slavery to the poison. This is one bad mama jamba ride. Quit with you and whoever ain't scared to jump on this ride with us.
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says 38 on my days quit calculator... Worst non quit real life stress since I quit... I am a chef who does NOT work in an AC kitchen, schools out so my 6-7 hour m-f freedom is gone, and my wife is not bringing her "A" game this past week ( being kind here...). Top it all off with this chest cold sinus infection thing I got going on for the last week, and I am, for the first time in my quit, pissed off or depressed about things other than not crammin' cancer weed in my craw! Holy shit is this the stress non addicts deal with? Not sure I like my situation right now, but I know that caving would not help. I my be about to break through to a better place or my life my be in for radical change, but whatever may come I will face it nic free! FU nic and ust 'Finger'
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Not sure who's quote this is but remember
Problem+nicotine = 2 problems. Non addicted peeps feel just like we do. We have convinced ourselves that nicotine fixed problems when the reality is that when a person that is addicted to nicotine is stressed the body breaks down nicotine and withdrawal happens. So a person dips more to maintain the nicotine level. Talk to Skoal monster he will give u the physiology of it. Keep strong pm me if u need anything keep your safety plan near this weekend. From what I hear there is a funk around the day u are on
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says 38 on my days quit calculator... Worst non quit real life stress since I quit... I am a chef who does NOT work in an AC kitchen, schools out so my 6-7 hour m-f freedom is gone, and my wife is not bringing her "A" game this past week ( being kind here...). Top it all off with this chest cold sinus infection thing I got going on for the last week, and I am, for the first time in my quit, pissed off or depressed about things other than not crammin' cancer weed in my craw! Holy shit is this the stress non addicts deal with? Not sure I like my situation right now, but I know that caving would not help. I my be about to break through to a better place or my life my be in for radical change, but whatever may come I will face it nic free! FU nic and ust 'Finger'
Matt, I know exactly where you are right now. When I go back to my intro thread I was having thoughts and feelings just like you are saying right now. You will get through this man. Just keep putting up + ones. It gets so much better, I promise. I have been watching your journey from a distance and I can tell you are winning. If you need more digits please send me a PM and we can swap.
Ryan
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says 38 on my days quit calculator... Worst non quit real life stress since I quit... I am a chef who does NOT work in an AC kitchen, schools out so my 6-7 hour m-f freedom is gone, and my wife is not bringing her "A" game this past week ( being kind here...). Top it all off with this chest cold sinus infection thing I got going on for the last week, and I am, for the first time in my quit, pissed off or depressed about things other than not crammin' cancer weed in my craw! Holy shit is this the stress non addicts deal with? Not sure I like my situation right now, but I know that caving would not help. I my be about to break through to a better place or my life my be in for radical change, but whatever may come I will face it nic free! FU nic and ust 'Finger'
Matt, I know exactly where you are right now. When I go back to my intro thread I was having thoughts and feelings just like you are saying right now. You will get through this man. Just keep putting up + ones. It gets so much better, I promise. I have been watching your journey from a distance and I can tell you are winning. If you need more digits please send me a PM and we can swap.
Ryan
You keep going matt. Your in a funk man. Times will get better. You just have to make it to the next door. Some of my worst times were in the 30's. Not really wanting to cave, but just feeling down and out. Good news here is it shouldn't last to long.
Important thing is keep that head pointed forward. Nothing in back of you but where you came from. We are going to a better place. I'm quit with you all day bro.
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says 38 on my days quit calculator... Worst non quit real life stress since I quit... I am a chef who does NOT work in an AC kitchen, schools out so my 6-7 hour m-f freedom is gone, and my wife is not bringing her "A" game this past week ( being kind here...). Top it all off with this chest cold sinus infection thing I got going on for the last week, and I am, for the first time in my quit, pissed off or depressed about things other than not crammin' cancer weed in my craw! Holy shit is this the stress non addicts deal with? Not sure I like my situation right now, but I know that caving would not help. I my be about to break through to a better place or my life my be in for radical change, but whatever may come I will face it nic free! FU nic and ust 'Finger'
Matt, I know exactly where you are right now. When I go back to my intro thread I was having thoughts and feelings just like you are saying right now. You will get through this man. Just keep putting up + ones. It gets so much better, I promise. I have been watching your journey from a distance and I can tell you are winning. If you need more digits please send me a PM and we can swap.
Ryan
You keep going matt. Your in a funk man. Times will get better. You just have to make it to the next door. Some of my worst times were in the 30's. Not really wanting to cave, but just feeling down and out. Good news here is it shouldn't last to long.
Important thing is keep that head pointed forward. Nothing in back of you but where you came from. We are going to a better place. I'm quit with you all day bro.
Keep at it. Having bull shit days are tough. You will find that dealing with them with out dip gets easier and better. Keep up the quit.
NICK
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Thanks for the responses. I was/am in a bit of a funk, and did not realize it for what it was. The non quit issues are in the forefront for mr last couple days, but funk set in and made matters worse without me even realizing it. Like most of nic bitches baggage it loses lots of power once you are rational and aware of it.
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End 38- happy 4th of July! Ok so with a bit of help I realized I was in a funk on top of actual BS going on in my life, and today I said hello to my old friend 'the suck'... Well I know that means I am winning, and I still had fun at my brithers b-day party (yes he is a real Yankee Doodle) I swam, had a mint julip (with my own homegrown mint), took the kids to a good fireworks. It was all good but also: it all sucked. I think it was worse this time because I am having real issues with my family (thank God nothing catastrophic but bad enough) and knowing that part of my crap mood was likely due to the nic bitch left me confused as to how pissed I should be with anyone about anything. I decided to just try my best to be patient, and sort it all out later... I will not cave. I will live with 'the suck' till it passes, and I will try not to take it out on my friends and family even if that means giving out a few free passes which they may or may not deserve... Going to bed now I will post roll in the a.m. and QLF tommorow.
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40-I think I am through this little funk now. Glad I posted my troubles here and that my quit family cares enough to read it and point out what was going on. Thank you. I am amazed that I did not recognize what was happening, and that it went away almost as soon as it was pointed out to me what it was. Day 40 is here so fast I am excited that better days are never far away, and all I need to do is keep +1ing.
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41- do not forget to exercise future self! A good sweat helps your addict ass. If you can get that workout doing something productive around the house; even better, and if you can do it while listening to Black Sabbath 13 at neighbors calling the cops on you volume it is better still! Side note Ozzy and Black Sabbath have written songs about every drug except nic, and supposedly are quit from so many addictions it boggles my mind. I am not sure if it is just me reading into it b/c quit is always on my mind, but there seems to be a ton of quit jargon in the new album. Either way super heavy music with quit message helping me right now. Quit on!
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41- do not forget to exercise future self! A good sweat helps your addict ass. If you can get that workout doing something productive around the house; even better, and if you can do it while listening to Black Sabbath 13 at neighbors calling the cops on you volume it is better still! Side note Ozzy and Black Sabbath have written songs about every drug except nic, and supposedly are quit from so many addictions it boggles my mind. I am not sure if it is just me reading into it b/c quit is always on my mind, but there seems to be a ton of quit jargon in the new album. Either way super heavy music with quit message helping me right now. Quit on!
You mean Sweet Leaf wasn't about tobacco ;)
Your posts keep me prepared for what's ahead. Thanks
Happy the quit is strong and Sabath still have it in 'em.
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41- do not forget to exercise future self! A good sweat helps your addict ass. If you can get that workout doing something productive around the house; even better, and if you can do it while listening to Black Sabbath 13 at neighbors calling the cops on you volume it is better still! Side note Ozzy and Black Sabbath have written songs about every drug except nic, and supposedly are quit from so many addictions it boggles my mind. I am not sure if it is just me reading into it b/c quit is always on my mind, but there seems to be a ton of quit jargon in the new album. Either way super heavy music with quit message helping me right now. Quit on!
You mean Sweet Leaf wasn't about tobacco ;)
Your posts keep me prepared for what's ahead. Thanks
Happy the quit is strong and Sabath still have it in 'em.
LOL I love to garden, and sweetleaf wasn't about stevia either! My little brother is a lawyer too slim so I can forgive you. JK. I will take point and am glad you have my 6.
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41- do not forget to exercise future self! A good sweat helps your addict ass. If you can get that workout doing something productive around the house; even better, and if you can do it while listening to Black Sabbath 13 at neighbors calling the cops on you volume it is better still! Side note Ozzy and Black Sabbath have written songs about every drug except nic, and supposedly are quit from so many addictions it boggles my mind. I am not sure if it is just me reading into it b/c quit is always on my mind, but there seems to be a ton of quit jargon in the new album. Either way super heavy music with quit message helping me right now. Quit on!
You mean Sweet Leaf wasn't about tobacco ;)
Your posts keep me prepared for what's ahead. Thanks
Happy the quit is strong and Sabath still have it in 'em.
LOL I love to garden, and sweetleaf wasn't about stevia either! My little brother is a lawyer too slim so I can forgive you. JK. I will take point and am glad you have my 6.
I have your 6 too pm me for digits if u need them
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41- do not forget to exercise future self! A good sweat helps your addict ass. If you can get that workout doing something productive around the house; even better, and if you can do it while listening to Black Sabbath 13 at neighbors calling the cops on you volume it is better still! Side note Ozzy and Black Sabbath have written songs about every drug except nic, and supposedly are quit from so many addictions it boggles my mind. I am not sure if it is just me reading into it b/c quit is always on my mind, but there seems to be a ton of quit jargon in the new album. Either way super heavy music with quit message helping me right now. Quit on!
You mean Sweet Leaf wasn't about tobacco ;)
Your posts keep me prepared for what's ahead. Thanks
Happy the quit is strong and Sabath still have it in 'em.
LOL I love to garden, and sweetleaf wasn't about stevia either! My little brother is a lawyer too slim so I can forgive you. JK. I will take point and am glad you have my 6.
I have your 6 too pm me for digits if u need them
Getting up and working out helps a number of areas. Kills craves, kills anxiety, helps with sleep. If you are as out of shape as I was it took awhile but I work out daily now.
STAY QUIT
Greg
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42-43: love me some quit today. Hard day at work with no craves, suck, or fog. KTC all night while getting a little video game time in. Had me some seeds and a nice night. Gettin' ready for the next hurdle. Plan on hitting the bike tommorow, and getting some work done around the house. Thanks again KTC. I never would have imagined I could have a day like this 44 days ago :D
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42-43: love me some quit today. Hard day at work with no craves, suck, or fog. KTC all night while getting a little video game time in. Had me some seeds and a nice night. Gettin' ready for the next hurdle. Plan on hitting the bike tommorow, and getting some work done around the house. Thanks again KTC. I never would have imagined I could have a day like this 44 days ago :D
Super proud of you B. You get it... You're doing it... Badass brother. Each day is a victory in and of itself. Living and quitting each day well... That's freedom dude. Dig it :)
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42-43: love me some quit today. Hard day at work with no craves, suck, or fog. KTC all night while getting a little video game time in. Had me some seeds and a nice night. Gettin' ready for the next hurdle. Plan on hitting the bike tommorow, and getting some work done around the house. Thanks again KTC. I never would have imagined I could have a day like this 44 days ago :D
Super proud of you B. You get it... You're doing it... Badass brother. Each day is a victory in and of itself. Living and quitting each day well... That's freedom dude. Dig it :)
Nice! Freedom is yummy.
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42-43: love me some quit today. Hard day at work with no craves, suck, or fog. KTC all night while getting a little video game time in. Had me some seeds and a nice night. Gettin' ready for the next hurdle. Plan on hitting the bike tommorow, and getting some work done around the house. Thanks again KTC. I never would have imagined I could have a day like this 44 days ago :D
Super proud of you B. You get it... You're doing it... Badass brother. Each day is a victory in and of itself. Living and quitting each day well... That's freedom dude. Dig it :)
Nice! Freedom is yummy.
Yummy like warm apple pie.
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44-Exercise! Cannot stress the benefits enough. Do not forget to exercise quitters...
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45 days in and just under $600 not spent on poison! I am so going to spend some of that savings on me today!
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45 days in and just under $600 not spent on poison! I am so going to spend some of that savings on me today!
Well deserved. Have fun with it.
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So I have the house to myself for a few days... Wife took kids to Syracuse to see the in-laws last night. I worked late last night so no biggie I came home showered had dinner, and went to bed. Woke up today and had to do some shopping for the wife. Got home around 12:30 and worked out hard (weights, push-ups, 8 mile bike ride) for 1.5 hours. Then I showered and went for a 90 minute massage; awesome! Felling great I went and bought a couple of pounds of PEI muscles and a rack of lamb to make for dinner. I made beer muscles and ate them then lite my grill, and then the craves hit! My usual method is to get angry like the hulk at the nic bitch and smack her down, but this time it was the red hulk and the abombanation coming at me and the craves would not stop! "just go to a different c-store no one needs to know, you don't need to tell you can be 46 tomorrow, just some dip for tonite while no one is here...". I would rather cheat on my wife nic! But still the bitch was wisperin'... This persistence had not happened b4 in my quit... Usually the nic bitch saw my disgust and resolve and pissed off, but not today, and I had been having such a good day! I had been pitying every fool slave I saw using nic all day, and I was having a me day! The nic bitch knew I was winning... So I could have caved, but instead I stuck to my plan, and sent a txt to one of my KTC brothers, and b4 I could txt another my hero came through... I don't know if J.F. wants me to name him, but he saved me from a nasty cave, and I am thankful. He reminded me of all the quit shit I have been spouting, and that I needed to get on KTC immediately. I Hit the live chat and J.F. joined me shortly thereafter, and AppleJack (who had been involved in my quit since day 1((coinkidink???I don't think so))) was the only other quitter there with me. I could not possibly cave with J.F. dropping whatever he was doing to help me and Applejack (again we dipped apple skoal so he was the second quitter to post on my intro thread and one of my quit heroes) being there... Other quit ledgends soon joined live chat, and J.F. helped me figure out what was the cause of my strongest crave so far: I had my first 'ME' day. I was being productive, worked out hard, and was spending some of the money I had not spent on poison since I quit, on myself... J.F. said some of his worst craves came not on his bad days, but his good days! One more reason I f'ing hate the bitch: the best day of my quit is when she hit me the hardest! First time I needed to use those #s I had stockpiled, and I still saved slamming my junk in the desk drawer as my ace in the hole (hope I never need that one, but it would be better than caving!). nic can hit you anytime harder than you think, but if you use the KTC tools you will not cave! Do not be afraid to reach out to your brothers and sisters when you need help! I WOULD HAVE CAVED TONITE IF I WAS ON MY OWN! Thanks J.F. You are my hero (in a completely un GHEY way... think of me as a little girl whos kitten was stuck in a tree and J.F. as Superman... Wait that sounds even GHEYER... LOL love you man and looking forward to +1ing and quitting again in the A.M..
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That is Awesome! Not taking away from J.F.'s timely assistance but you did it. You listened and you sought help. Great Job! Each time I read a post like this I get more comfortable with the idea of reaching out. I have been okay so far but I know it will be coming.
Thanks for sharing B-loMatt
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So I have the house to myself for a few days... Wife took kids to Syracuse to see the in-laws last night. I worked late last night so no biggie I came home showered had dinner, and went to bed. Woke up today and had to do some shopping for the wife. Got home around 12:30 and worked out hard (weights, push-ups, 8 mile bike ride) for 1.5 hours. Then I showered and went for a 90 minute massage; awesome! Felling great I went and bought a couple of pounds of PEI muscles and a rack of lamb to make for dinner. I made beer muscles and ate them then lite my grill, and then the craves hit! My usual method is to get angry like the hulk at the nic bitch and smack her down, but this time it was the red hulk and the abombanation coming at me and the craves would not stop! "just go to a different c-store no one needs to know, you don't need to tell you can be 46 tomorrow, just some dip for tonite while no one is here...". I would rather cheat on my wife nic! But still the bitch was wisperin'... This persistence had not happened b4 in my quit... Usually the nic bitch saw my disgust and resolve and pissed off, but not today, and I had been having such a good day! I had been pitying every fool slave I saw using nic all day, and I was having a me day! The nic bitch knew I was winning... So I could have caved, but instead I stuck to my plan, and sent a txt to one of my KTC brothers, and b4 I could txt another my hero came through... I don't know if J.F. wants me to name him, but he saved me from a nasty cave, and I am thankful. He reminded me of all the quit shit I have been spouting, and that I needed to get on KTC immediately. I Hit the live chat and J.F. joined me shortly thereafter, and AppleJack (who had been involved in my quit since day 1((coinkidink???I don't think so))) was the only other quitter there with me. I could not possibly cave with J.F. dropping whatever he was doing to help me and Applejack (again we dipped apple skoal so he was the second quitter to post on my intro thread and one of my quit heroes) being there... Other quit ledgends soon joined live chat, and J.F. helped me figure out what was the cause of my strongest crave so far: I had my first 'ME' day. I was being productive, worked out hard, and was spending some of the money I had not spent on poison since I quit, on myself... J.F. said some of his worst craves came not on his bad days, but his good days! One more reason I f'ing hate the bitch: the best day of my quit is when she hit me the hardest! First time I needed to use those #s I had stockpiled, and I still saved slamming my junk in the desk drawer as my ace in the hole (hope I never need that one, but it would be better than caving!). nic can hit you anytime harder than you think, but if you use the KTC tools you will not cave! Do not be afraid to reach out to your brothers and sisters when you need help! I WOULD HAVE CAVED TONITE IF I WAS ON MY OWN! Thanks J.F. You are my hero (in a completely un GHEY way... think of me as a little girl whos kitten was stuck in a tree and J.F. as Superman... Wait that sounds even GHEYER... LOL love you man and looking forward to +1ing and quitting again in the A.M..
I'm not saying I'm superman, I'm just saying you have never seen me and clark kent in the same room together...... lol
Bro YOU did all the right things. YOU reached out, YOU then got into live chat, YOU figured out why tonight was the hardest for you , and YOU kicked the bitch's ass! We all have craves that bring us to our knees, sadly not all people use their tools and many cave! You get to add a plus one tom... Be proud! This is a good example of a man who has drank the KOOL-AID!
I want my lamb!
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So I have the house to myself for a few days... Wife took kids to Syracuse to see the in-laws last night. I worked late last night so no biggie I came home showered had dinner, and went to bed. Woke up today and had to do some shopping for the wife. Got home around 12:30 and worked out hard (weights, push-ups, 8 mile bike ride) for 1.5 hours. Then I showered and went for a 90 minute massage; awesome! Felling great I went and bought a couple of pounds of PEI muscles and a rack of lamb to make for dinner. I made beer muscles and ate them then lite my grill, and then the craves hit! My usual method is to get angry like the hulk at the nic bitch and smack her down, but this time it was the red hulk and the abombanation coming at me and the craves would not stop! "just go to a different c-store no one needs to know, you don't need to tell you can be 46 tomorrow, just some dip for tonite while no one is here...". I would rather cheat on my wife nic! But still the bitch was wisperin'... This persistence had not happened b4 in my quit... Usually the nic bitch saw my disgust and resolve and pissed off, but not today, and I had been having such a good day! I had been pitying every fool slave I saw using nic all day, and I was having a me day! The nic bitch knew I was winning... So I could have caved, but instead I stuck to my plan, and sent a txt to one of my KTC brothers, and b4 I could txt another my hero came through... I don't know if J.F. wants me to name him, but he saved me from a nasty cave, and I am thankful. He reminded me of all the quit shit I have been spouting, and that I needed to get on KTC immediately. I Hit the live chat and J.F. joined me shortly thereafter, and AppleJack (who had been involved in my quit since day 1((coinkidink???I don't think so))) was the only other quitter there with me. I could not possibly cave with J.F. dropping whatever he was doing to help me and Applejack (again we dipped apple skoal so he was the second quitter to post on my intro thread and one of my quit heroes) being there... Other quit ledgends soon joined live chat, and J.F. helped me figure out what was the cause of my strongest crave so far: I had my first 'ME' day. I was being productive, worked out hard, and was spending some of the money I had not spent on poison since I quit, on myself... J.F. said some of his worst craves came not on his bad days, but his good days! One more reason I f'ing hate the bitch: the best day of my quit is when she hit me the hardest! First time I needed to use those #s I had stockpiled, and I still saved slamming my junk in the desk drawer as my ace in the hole (hope I never need that one, but it would be better than caving!). nic can hit you anytime harder than you think, but if you use the KTC tools you will not cave! Do not be afraid to reach out to your brothers and sisters when you need help! I WOULD HAVE CAVED TONITE IF I WAS ON MY OWN! Thanks J.F. You are my hero (in a completely un GHEY way... think of me as a little girl whos kitten was stuck in a tree and J.F. as Superman... Wait that sounds even GHEYER... LOL love you man and looking forward to +1ing and quitting again in the A.M..
I'm not saying I'm superman, I'm just saying you have never seen me and clark kent in the same room together...... lol
Bro YOU did all the right things. YOU reached out, YOU then got into live chat, YOU figured out why tonight was the hardest for you , and YOU kicked the bitch's ass! We all have craves that bring us to our knees, sadly not all people use their tools and many cave! You get to add a plus one tom... Be proud! This is a good example of a man who has drank the KOOL-AID!
I want my lamb!
This makes me :) . Well done quitters.
-
So I have the house to myself for a few days... Wife took kids to Syracuse to see the in-laws last night. I worked late last night so no biggie I came home showered had dinner, and went to bed. Woke up today and had to do some shopping for the wife. Got home around 12:30 and worked out hard (weights, push-ups, 8 mile bike ride) for 1.5 hours. Then I showered and went for a 90 minute massage; awesome! Felling great I went and bought a couple of pounds of PEI muscles and a rack of lamb to make for dinner. I made beer muscles and ate them then lite my grill, and then the craves hit! My usual method is to get angry like the hulk at the nic bitch and smack her down, but this time it was the red hulk and the abombanation coming at me and the craves would not stop! "just go to a different c-store no one needs to know, you don't need to tell you can be 46 tomorrow, just some dip for tonite while no one is here...". I would rather cheat on my wife nic! But still the bitch was wisperin'... This persistence had not happened b4 in my quit... Usually the nic bitch saw my disgust and resolve and pissed off, but not today, and I had been having such a good day! I had been pitying every fool slave I saw using nic all day, and I was having a me day! The nic bitch knew I was winning... So I could have caved, but instead I stuck to my plan, and sent a txt to one of my KTC brothers, and b4 I could txt another my hero came through... I don't know if J.F. wants me to name him, but he saved me from a nasty cave, and I am thankful. He reminded me of all the quit shit I have been spouting, and that I needed to get on KTC immediately. I Hit the live chat and J.F. joined me shortly thereafter, and AppleJack (who had been involved in my quit since day 1((coinkidink???I don't think so))) was the only other quitter there with me. I could not possibly cave with J.F. dropping whatever he was doing to help me and Applejack (again we dipped apple skoal so he was the second quitter to post on my intro thread and one of my quit heroes) being there... Other quit ledgends soon joined live chat, and J.F. helped me figure out what was the cause of my strongest crave so far: I had my first 'ME' day. I was being productive, worked out hard, and was spending some of the money I had not spent on poison since I quit, on myself... J.F. said some of his worst craves came not on his bad days, but his good days! One more reason I f'ing hate the bitch: the best day of my quit is when she hit me the hardest! First time I needed to use those #s I had stockpiled, and I still saved slamming my junk in the desk drawer as my ace in the hole (hope I never need that one, but it would be better than caving!). nic can hit you anytime harder than you think, but if you use the KTC tools you will not cave! Do not be afraid to reach out to your brothers and sisters when you need help! I WOULD HAVE CAVED TONITE IF I WAS ON MY OWN! Thanks J.F. You are my hero (in a completely un GHEY way... think of me as a little girl whos kitten was stuck in a tree and J.F. as Superman... Wait that sounds even GHEYER... LOL love you man and looking forward to +1ing and quitting again in the A.M..
I'm not saying I'm superman, I'm just saying you have never seen me and clark kent in the same room together...... lol
Bro YOU did all the right things. YOU reached out, YOU then got into live chat, YOU figured out why tonight was the hardest for you , and YOU kicked the bitch's ass! We all have craves that bring us to our knees, sadly not all people use their tools and many cave! You get to add a plus one tom... Be proud! This is a good example of a man who has drank the KOOL-AID!
I want my lamb!
If that story doesn't give ya quit wood, nothing will! KTC in a nutshell right there. Congrats to both of you.
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So I have the house to myself for a few days... Wife took kids to Syracuse to see the in-laws last night. I worked late last night so no biggie I came home showered had dinner, and went to bed. Woke up today and had to do some shopping for the wife. Got home around 12:30 and worked out hard (weights, push-ups, 8 mile bike ride) for 1.5 hours. Then I showered and went for a 90 minute massage; awesome! Felling great I went and bought a couple of pounds of PEI muscles and a rack of lamb to make for dinner. I made beer muscles and ate them then lite my grill, and then the craves hit! My usual method is to get angry like the hulk at the nic bitch and smack her down, but this time it was the red hulk and the abombanation coming at me and the craves would not stop! "just go to a different c-store no one needs to know, you don't need to tell you can be 46 tomorrow, just some dip for tonite while no one is here...". I would rather cheat on my wife nic! But still the bitch was wisperin'... This persistence had not happened b4 in my quit... Usually the nic bitch saw my disgust and resolve and pissed off, but not today, and I had been having such a good day! I had been pitying every fool slave I saw using nic all day, and I was having a me day! The nic bitch knew I was winning... So I could have caved, but instead I stuck to my plan, and sent a txt to one of my KTC brothers, and b4 I could txt another my hero came through... I don't know if J.F. wants me to name him, but he saved me from a nasty cave, and I am thankful. He reminded me of all the quit shit I have been spouting, and that I needed to get on KTC immediately. I Hit the live chat and J.F. joined me shortly thereafter, and AppleJack (who had been involved in my quit since day 1((coinkidink???I don't think so))) was the only other quitter there with me. I could not possibly cave with J.F. dropping whatever he was doing to help me and Applejack (again we dipped apple skoal so he was the second quitter to post on my intro thread and one of my quit heroes) being there... Other quit ledgends soon joined live chat, and J.F. helped me figure out what was the cause of my strongest crave so far: I had my first 'ME' day. I was being productive, worked out hard, and was spending some of the money I had not spent on poison since I quit, on myself... J.F. said some of his worst craves came not on his bad days, but his good days! One more reason I f'ing hate the bitch: the best day of my quit is when she hit me the hardest! First time I needed to use those #s I had stockpiled, and I still saved slamming my junk in the desk drawer as my ace in the hole (hope I never need that one, but it would be better than caving!). nic can hit you anytime harder than you think, but if you use the KTC tools you will not cave! Do not be afraid to reach out to your brothers and sisters when you need help! I WOULD HAVE CAVED TONITE IF I WAS ON MY OWN! Thanks J.F. You are my hero (in a completely un GHEY way... think of me as a little girl whos kitten was stuck in a tree and J.F. as Superman... Wait that sounds even GHEYER... LOL love you man and looking forward to +1ing and quitting again in the A.M..
I'm not saying I'm superman, I'm just saying you have never seen me and clark kent in the same room together...... lol
Bro YOU did all the right things. YOU reached out, YOU then got into live chat, YOU figured out why tonight was the hardest for you , and YOU kicked the bitch's ass! We all have craves that bring us to our knees, sadly not all people use their tools and many cave! You get to add a plus one tom... Be proud! This is a good example of a man who has drank the KOOL-AID!
I want my lamb!
This makes me :) . Well done quitters.
That'll do B-lo... that'll do :D
-
So I have the house to myself for a few days... Wife took kids to Syracuse to see the in-laws last night. I worked late last night so no biggie I came home showered had dinner, and went to bed. Woke up today and had to do some shopping for the wife. Got home around 12:30 and worked out hard (weights, push-ups, 8 mile bike ride) for 1.5 hours. Then I showered and went for a 90 minute massage; awesome! Felling great I went and bought a couple of pounds of PEI muscles and a rack of lamb to make for dinner. I made beer muscles and ate them then lite my grill, and then the craves hit! My usual method is to get angry like the hulk at the nic bitch and smack her down, but this time it was the red hulk and the abombanation coming at me and the craves would not stop! "just go to a different c-store no one needs to know, you don't need to tell you can be 46 tomorrow, just some dip for tonite while no one is here...". I would rather cheat on my wife nic! But still the bitch was wisperin'... This persistence had not happened b4 in my quit... Usually the nic bitch saw my disgust and resolve and pissed off, but not today, and I had been having such a good day! I had been pitying every fool slave I saw using nic all day, and I was having a me day! The nic bitch knew I was winning... So I could have caved, but instead I stuck to my plan, and sent a txt to one of my KTC brothers, and b4 I could txt another my hero came through... I don't know if J.F. wants me to name him, but he saved me from a nasty cave, and I am thankful. He reminded me of all the quit shit I have been spouting, and that I needed to get on KTC immediately. I Hit the live chat and J.F. joined me shortly thereafter, and AppleJack (who had been involved in my quit since day 1((coinkidink???I don't think so))) was the only other quitter there with me. I could not possibly cave with J.F. dropping whatever he was doing to help me and Applejack (again we dipped apple skoal so he was the second quitter to post on my intro thread and one of my quit heroes) being there... Other quit ledgends soon joined live chat, and J.F. helped me figure out what was the cause of my strongest crave so far: I had my first 'ME' day. I was being productive, worked out hard, and was spending some of the money I had not spent on poison since I quit, on myself... J.F. said some of his worst craves came not on his bad days, but his good days! One more reason I f'ing hate the bitch: the best day of my quit is when she hit me the hardest! First time I needed to use those #s I had stockpiled, and I still saved slamming my junk in the desk drawer as my ace in the hole (hope I never need that one, but it would be better than caving!). nic can hit you anytime harder than you think, but if you use the KTC tools you will not cave! Do not be afraid to reach out to your brothers and sisters when you need help! I WOULD HAVE CAVED TONITE IF I WAS ON MY OWN! Thanks J.F. You are my hero (in a completely un GHEY way... think of me as a little girl whos kitten was stuck in a tree and J.F. as Superman... Wait that sounds even GHEYER... LOL love you man and looking forward to +1ing and quitting again in the A.M..
I'm not saying I'm superman, I'm just saying you have never seen me and clark kent in the same room together...... lol
Bro YOU did all the right things. YOU reached out, YOU then got into live chat, YOU figured out why tonight was the hardest for you , and YOU kicked the bitch's ass! We all have craves that bring us to our knees, sadly not all people use their tools and many cave! You get to add a plus one tom... Be proud! This is a good example of a man who has drank the KOOL-AID!
I want my lamb!
This makes me :) . Well done quitters.
That'll do B-lo... that'll do :D
I'm hard.
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So I have the house to myself for a few days... Wife took kids to Syracuse to see the in-laws last night. I worked late last night so no biggie I came home showered had dinner, and went to bed. Woke up today and had to do some shopping for the wife. Got home around 12:30 and worked out hard (weights, push-ups, 8 mile bike ride) for 1.5 hours. Then I showered and went for a 90 minute massage; awesome! Felling great I went and bought a couple of pounds of PEI muscles and a rack of lamb to make for dinner. I made beer muscles and ate them then lite my grill, and then the craves hit! My usual method is to get angry like the hulk at the nic bitch and smack her down, but this time it was the red hulk and the abombanation coming at me and the craves would not stop! "just go to a different c-store no one needs to know, you don't need to tell you can be 46 tomorrow, just some dip for tonite while no one is here...". I would rather cheat on my wife nic! But still the bitch was wisperin'... This persistence had not happened b4 in my quit... Usually the nic bitch saw my disgust and resolve and pissed off, but not today, and I had been having such a good day! I had been pitying every fool slave I saw using nic all day, and I was having a me day! The nic bitch knew I was winning... So I could have caved, but instead I stuck to my plan, and sent a txt to one of my KTC brothers, and b4 I could txt another my hero came through... I don't know if J.F. wants me to name him, but he saved me from a nasty cave, and I am thankful. He reminded me of all the quit shit I have been spouting, and that I needed to get on KTC immediately. I Hit the live chat and J.F. joined me shortly thereafter, and AppleJack (who had been involved in my quit since day 1((coinkidink???I don't think so))) was the only other quitter there with me. I could not possibly cave with J.F. dropping whatever he was doing to help me and Applejack (again we dipped apple skoal so he was the second quitter to post on my intro thread and one of my quit heroes) being there... Other quit ledgends soon joined live chat, and J.F. helped me figure out what was the cause of my strongest crave so far: I had my first 'ME' day. I was being productive, worked out hard, and was spending some of the money I had not spent on poison since I quit, on myself... J.F. said some of his worst craves came not on his bad days, but his good days! One more reason I f'ing hate the bitch: the best day of my quit is when she hit me the hardest! First time I needed to use those #s I had stockpiled, and I still saved slamming my junk in the desk drawer as my ace in the hole (hope I never need that one, but it would be better than caving!). nic can hit you anytime harder than you think, but if you use the KTC tools you will not cave! Do not be afraid to reach out to your brothers and sisters when you need help! I WOULD HAVE CAVED TONITE IF I WAS ON MY OWN! Thanks J.F. You are my hero (in a completely un GHEY way... think of me as a little girl whos kitten was stuck in a tree and J.F. as Superman... Wait that sounds even GHEYER... LOL love you man and looking forward to +1ing and quitting again in the A.M..
I'm not saying I'm superman, I'm just saying you have never seen me and clark kent in the same room together...... lol
Bro YOU did all the right things. YOU reached out, YOU then got into live chat, YOU figured out why tonight was the hardest for you , and YOU kicked the bitch's ass! We all have craves that bring us to our knees, sadly not all people use their tools and many cave! You get to add a plus one tom... Be proud! This is a good example of a man who has drank the KOOL-AID!
I want my lamb!
This makes me :) . Well done quitters.
That'll do B-lo... that'll do :D
I'm hard.
I'm Harder and obviously.......nevermind!
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Pleased to report day 46 was back to normal. No freakish craves today, in fact hardly thought about dip at all. Mostly just glad the KTC support system worked for me. Remember to get those digits, and use them when you need to!
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49- Hotter than hell today! Meat thermometer next to me at work peaked at 148f! Average was 132f! I would have gone through a can and a half in the bad old days... I could hardly stay hydrated today drinking 3+ gallons of h2o. I am lucky I never died from heat stroke while I was dipping at work! Thank God I am quit, forget cancer, I seriously could have died today between the added dehydration from spitting and the fact that I would not have drank h2o while dipping... That's all for now gonna get some Gatorade...
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49- Hotter than hell today! Meat thermometer next to me at work peaked at 148f! Average was 132f! I would have gone through a can and a half in the bad old days... I could hardly stay hydrated today drinking 3+ gallons of h2o. I am lucky I never died from heat stroke while I was dipping at work! Thank God I am quit, forget cancer, I seriously could have died today between the added dehydration from spitting and the fact that I would not have drank h2o while dipping... That's all for now gonna get some Gatorade...
Dang it boy!! Where the heck are you working? I just thought it was hot in the South Texas oilfields...
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49- Hotter than hell today! Meat thermometer next to me at work peaked at 148f! Average was 132f! I would have gone through a can and a half in the bad old days... I could hardly stay hydrated today drinking 3+ gallons of h2o. I am lucky I never died from heat stroke while I was dipping at work! Thank God I am quit, forget cancer, I seriously could have died today between the added dehydration from spitting and the fact that I would not have drank h2o while dipping... That's all for now gonna get some Gatorade...
Dang it boy!! Where the heck are you working? I just thought it was hot in the South Texas oilfields...
Bro aren't you glad we don't live In the south? Shit. The dealership lot was 120.... lots of water today. I had the same thought today. If I still chewed I'd have felt like crap all day. Were too used to snow to chew in this weather.
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52- Not looking forward to working tonite. Another scorcher and the kitchen will be hotter than satans nutz. JF is right I miss the snow.
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52- Not looking forward to working tonite. Another scorcher and the kitchen will be hotter than satans nutz. JF is right I miss the snow.
I just got extremely uncomfortable THINKING about cooking in a kitchen in this heat! God Bless you!
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Holy shit this has been the hottest week at work in a long time. Finally think the heat wave broke with the crazy thunderstorm that has been raging for the last few hours. 10 hour shift and I went through 5 shirts and bandannas. The dirty laundry must way 30 lbs... Note to the ignorant: the hottest week of the summer is not the best time to go out to eat... If you go to a rr with an open kitchen you mightbe ok, but the closed kitchens are not air conditioned, and the only "extra love" you will be getting from the back of the house is whatever sweat their over saturated clothing cannot absorb. At one point I thought I was Rocky taking punches from Apollo Creed... Turned my head to look at a ticket and a slow motion pint of persperation launched off my forhead in a balistic trajectory twoards a finished plate in the window! No need for extra salt tonite people! Also no need for a dip thanks to KTC! I didn't even have a crave worth speaking of. No suck or fog (at least nic induced, heat induced for sure) either. The nic bitch staying quiet won't stop me from hateing her though. Great quit day today, shitty work day. Loving being nic free!
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Holy shit this has been the hottest week at work in a long time. Finally think the heat wave broke with the crazy thunderstorm that has been raging for the last few hours. 10 hour shift and I went through 5 shirts and bandannas. The dirty laundry must way 30 lbs... Note to the ignorant: the hottest week of the summer is not the best time to go out to eat... If you go to a rr with an open kitchen you mightbe ok, but the closed kitchens are not air conditioned, and the only "extra love" you will be getting from the back of the house is whatever sweat their over saturated clothing cannot absorb. At one point I thought I was Rocky taking punches from Apollo Creed... Turned my head to look at a ticket and a slow motion pint of persperation launched off my forhead in a balistic trajectory twoards a finished plate in the window! No need for extra salt tonite people! Also no need for a dip thanks to KTC! I didn't even have a crave worth speaking of. No suck or fog (at least nic induced, heat induced for sure) either. The nic bitch staying quiet won't stop me from hateing her though. Great quit day today, shitty work day. Loving being nic free!
Know what I've come to learn... I like my shitty dip free days WAAAY more than I liked my so called "great days" where I chewed my face off all day long! I'm in control... I'm free. Kickin' ASS B-lo! Proud of you man...
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Holy shit this has been the hottest week at work in a long time. Finally think the heat wave broke with the crazy thunderstorm that has been raging for the last few hours. 10 hour shift and I went through 5 shirts and bandannas. The dirty laundry must way 30 lbs... Note to the ignorant: the hottest week of the summer is not the best time to go out to eat... If you go to a rr with an open kitchen you mightbe ok, but the closed kitchens are not air conditioned, and the only "extra love" you will be getting from the back of the house is whatever sweat their over saturated clothing cannot absorb. At one point I thought I was Rocky taking punches from Apollo Creed... Turned my head to look at a ticket and a slow motion pint of persperation launched off my forhead in a balistic trajectory twoards a finished plate in the window! No need for extra salt tonite people! Also no need for a dip thanks to KTC! I didn't even have a crave worth speaking of. No suck or fog (at least nic induced, heat induced for sure) either. The nic bitch staying quiet won't stop me from hateing her though. Great quit day today, shitty work day. Loving being nic free!
Know what I've come to learn... I like my shitty dip free days WAAAY more than I liked my so called "great days" where I chewed my face off all day long! I'm in control... I'm free. Kickin' ASS B-lo! Proud of you man...
Hilarious post B-lo, I thought I could see that sad culinary scenario right in front of me. If I'm ever in your town I want to eat somewhere else! Keep on the great quit!
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Holy shit this has been the hottest week at work in a long time. Finally think the heat wave broke with the crazy thunderstorm that has been raging for the last few hours. 10 hour shift and I went through 5 shirts and bandannas. The dirty laundry must way 30 lbs... Note to the ignorant: the hottest week of the summer is not the best time to go out to eat... If you go to a rr with an open kitchen you mightbe ok, but the closed kitchens are not air conditioned, and the only "extra love" you will be getting from the back of the house is whatever sweat their over saturated clothing cannot absorb. At one point I thought I was Rocky taking punches from Apollo Creed... Turned my head to look at a ticket and a slow motion pint of persperation launched off my forhead in a balistic trajectory twoards a finished plate in the window! No need for extra salt tonite people! Also no need for a dip thanks to KTC! I didn't even have a crave worth speaking of. No suck or fog (at least nic induced, heat induced for sure) either. The nic bitch staying quiet won't stop me from hateing her though. Great quit day today, shitty work day. Loving being nic free!
Know what I've come to learn... I like my shitty dip free days WAAAY more than I liked my so called "great days" where I chewed my face off all day long! I'm in control... I'm free. Kickin' ASS B-lo! Proud of you man...
Hilarious post B-lo, I thought I could see that sad culinary scenario right in front of me. If I'm ever in your town I want to eat somewhere else! Keep on the great quit!
With matt f already afraid of chef extra love in my chow. Quit w u today b lo proud of you
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Holy shit this has been the hottest week at work in a long time. Finally think the heat wave broke with the crazy thunderstorm that has been raging for the last few hours. 10 hour shift and I went through 5 shirts and bandannas. The dirty laundry must way 30 lbs... Note to the ignorant: the hottest week of the summer is not the best time to go out to eat... If you go to a rr with an open kitchen you mightbe ok, but the closed kitchens are not air conditioned, and the only "extra love" you will be getting from the back of the house is whatever sweat their over saturated clothing cannot absorb. At one point I thought I was Rocky taking punches from Apollo Creed... Turned my head to look at a ticket and a slow motion pint of persperation launched off my forhead in a balistic trajectory twoards a finished plate in the window! No need for extra salt tonite people! Also no need for a dip thanks to KTC! I didn't even have a crave worth speaking of. No suck or fog (at least nic induced, heat induced for sure) either. The nic bitch staying quiet won't stop me from hateing her though. Great quit day today, shitty work day. Loving being nic free!
Know what I've come to learn... I like my shitty dip free days WAAAY more than I liked my so called "great days" where I chewed my face off all day long! I'm in control... I'm free. Kickin' ASS B-lo! Proud of you man...
Hilarious post B-lo, I thought I could see that sad culinary scenario right in front of me. If I'm ever in your town I want to eat somewhere else! Keep on the great quit!
With matt f already afraid of chef extra love in my chow. Quit w u today b lo proud of you
The best thing about my sweat as an ingredient is that it is now nicotine free!
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Holy shit this has been the hottest week at work in a long time. Finally think the heat wave broke with the crazy thunderstorm that has been raging for the last few hours. 10 hour shift and I went through 5 shirts and bandannas. The dirty laundry must way 30 lbs... Note to the ignorant: the hottest week of the summer is not the best time to go out to eat... If you go to a rr with an open kitchen you mightbe ok, but the closed kitchens are not air conditioned, and the only "extra love" you will be getting from the back of the house is whatever sweat their over saturated clothing cannot absorb. At one point I thought I was Rocky taking punches from Apollo Creed... Turned my head to look at a ticket and a slow motion pint of persperation launched off my forhead in a balistic trajectory twoards a finished plate in the window! No need for extra salt tonite people! Also no need for a dip thanks to KTC! I didn't even have a crave worth speaking of. No suck or fog (at least nic induced, heat induced for sure) either. The nic bitch staying quiet won't stop me from hateing her though. Great quit day today, shitty work day. Loving being nic free!
Know what I've come to learn... I like my shitty dip free days WAAAY more than I liked my so called "great days" where I chewed my face off all day long! I'm in control... I'm free. Kickin' ASS B-lo! Proud of you man...
Hilarious post B-lo, I thought I could see that sad culinary scenario right in front of me. If I'm ever in your town I want to eat somewhere else! Keep on the great quit!
With matt f already afraid of chef extra love in my chow. Quit w u today b lo proud of you
The best thing about my sweat as an ingredient is that it is now nicotine free!
Bro.... I like to eat at a lot of places in Buffalo! I'm gonna have to find out where you work so I can avoid it! Damn.... I'm visualizing this sweat in my food now!
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Holy shit this has been the hottest week at work in a long time. Finally think the heat wave broke with the crazy thunderstorm that has been raging for the last few hours. 10 hour shift and I went through 5 shirts and bandannas. The dirty laundry must way 30 lbs... Note to the ignorant: the hottest week of the summer is not the best time to go out to eat... If you go to a rr with an open kitchen you mightbe ok, but the closed kitchens are not air conditioned, and the only "extra love" you will be getting from the back of the house is whatever sweat their over saturated clothing cannot absorb. At one point I thought I was Rocky taking punches from Apollo Creed... Turned my head to look at a ticket and a slow motion pint of persperation launched off my forhead in a balistic trajectory twoards a finished plate in the window! No need for extra salt tonite people! Also no need for a dip thanks to KTC! I didn't even have a crave worth speaking of. No suck or fog (at least nic induced, heat induced for sure) either. The nic bitch staying quiet won't stop me from hateing her though. Great quit day today, shitty work day. Loving being nic free!
Know what I've come to learn... I like my shitty dip free days WAAAY more than I liked my so called "great days" where I chewed my face off all day long! I'm in control... I'm free. Kickin' ASS B-lo! Proud of you man...
Hilarious post B-lo, I thought I could see that sad culinary scenario right in front of me. If I'm ever in your town I want to eat somewhere else! Keep on the great quit!
With matt f already afraid of chef extra love in my chow. Quit w u today b lo proud of you
The best thing about my sweat as an ingredient is that it is now nicotine free!
Bro.... I like to eat at a lot of places in Buffalo! I'm gonna have to find out where you work so I can avoid it! Damn.... I'm visualizing this sweat in my food now!
I have worked with alot of cooks and chefs over the years and I can honestly say I have never met anyone more concerned about food safty and sanitation than me. I am amazed that I still go out to eat at all... I am a professional chef who takes pride in my craft; just imagine what some 19 year old kid who doesn't give a fuck is doing to your extra value meal when it is hot an busy...
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Holy shit this has been the hottest week at work in a long time. Finally think the heat wave broke with the crazy thunderstorm that has been raging for the last few hours. 10 hour shift and I went through 5 shirts and bandannas. The dirty laundry must way 30 lbs... Note to the ignorant: the hottest week of the summer is not the best time to go out to eat... If you go to a rr with an open kitchen you mightbe ok, but the closed kitchens are not air conditioned, and the only "extra love" you will be getting from the back of the house is whatever sweat their over saturated clothing cannot absorb. At one point I thought I was Rocky taking punches from Apollo Creed... Turned my head to look at a ticket and a slow motion pint of persperation launched off my forhead in a balistic trajectory twoards a finished plate in the window! No need for extra salt tonite people! Also no need for a dip thanks to KTC! I didn't even have a crave worth speaking of. No suck or fog (at least nic induced, heat induced for sure) either. The nic bitch staying quiet won't stop me from hateing her though. Great quit day today, shitty work day. Loving being nic free!
Know what I've come to learn... I like my shitty dip free days WAAAY more than I liked my so called "great days" where I chewed my face off all day long! I'm in control... I'm free. Kickin' ASS B-lo! Proud of you man...
Hilarious post B-lo, I thought I could see that sad culinary scenario right in front of me. If I'm ever in your town I want to eat somewhere else! Keep on the great quit!
With matt f already afraid of chef extra love in my chow. Quit w u today b lo proud of you
The best thing about my sweat as an ingredient is that it is now nicotine free!
Bro.... I like to eat at a lot of places in Buffalo! I'm gonna have to find out where you work so I can avoid it! Damn.... I'm visualizing this sweat in my food now!
I have worked with alot of cooks and chefs over the years and I can honestly say I have never met anyone more concerned about food safty and sanitation than me. I am amazed that I still go out to eat at all... I am a professional chef who takes pride in my craft; just imagine what some 19 year old kid who doesn't give a fuck is doing to your extra value meal when it is hot an busy...
Ever see the movie "Waiting"? Batwings!
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Holy shit this has been the hottest week at work in a long time. Finally think the heat wave broke with the crazy thunderstorm that has been raging for the last few hours. 10 hour shift and I went through 5 shirts and bandannas. The dirty laundry must way 30 lbs... Note to the ignorant: the hottest week of the summer is not the best time to go out to eat... If you go to a rr with an open kitchen you mightbe ok, but the closed kitchens are not air conditioned, and the only "extra love" you will be getting from the back of the house is whatever sweat their over saturated clothing cannot absorb. At one point I thought I was Rocky taking punches from Apollo Creed... Turned my head to look at a ticket and a slow motion pint of persperation launched off my forhead in a balistic trajectory twoards a finished plate in the window! No need for extra salt tonite people! Also no need for a dip thanks to KTC! I didn't even have a crave worth speaking of. No suck or fog (at least nic induced, heat induced for sure) either. The nic bitch staying quiet won't stop me from hateing her though. Great quit day today, shitty work day. Loving being nic free!
Know what I've come to learn... I like my shitty dip free days WAAAY more than I liked my so called "great days" where I chewed my face off all day long! I'm in control... I'm free. Kickin' ASS B-lo! Proud of you man...
Hilarious post B-lo, I thought I could see that sad culinary scenario right in front of me. If I'm ever in your town I want to eat somewhere else! Keep on the great quit!
With matt f already afraid of chef extra love in my chow. Quit w u today b lo proud of you
The best thing about my sweat as an ingredient is that it is now nicotine free!
Bro.... I like to eat at a lot of places in Buffalo! I'm gonna have to find out where you work so I can avoid it! Damn.... I'm visualizing this sweat in my food now!
I have worked with alot of cooks and chefs over the years and I can honestly say I have never met anyone more concerned about food safty and sanitation than me. I am amazed that I still go out to eat at all... I am a professional chef who takes pride in my craft; just imagine what some 19 year old kid who doesn't give a fuck is doing to your extra value meal when it is hot an busy...
Ever see the movie "Waiting"? Batwings!
Back when I was a lowly dishwasher I saw someone send back a burger 'cause it wasn't cooked enough and the cook took the burger off the bun, put it on the floor and stepped on it to thin it out. He then put the burger back on the grill and cooked it well done, put it back on the bun and sent it back out. The customer ate that shit like it was the last meal he was ever gonna get. There wasn't a bite left on the plate... I know I washed the dises. Like I said I am amazed that I still go out to eat.
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56- 8 weeks- no fucking way! The intro posts for some of our newest members have me thinking about how wild it is that I have been quit for 56 days in a row! It has been a battle for the newer guys, and it makes me remember how hard I had to fight myself... The week befor I quit I knew I was going to try, but I didn't think I could. I knew I had stopped in the past, but I had never been so addicted befor. That week was a dip orgy! I had a dip in all day every day for that last week... I guess the nic bitch knew I was going to quit, and she was digging in like the nazis with fortress Europe. One of the newest guys who was on day 3 this weekend really made me think. He was making contradictory statements on his posts, and commimg off like a dumb-ass jerk for it. Alot of us KTC crowd were posting the tough love that is almost automatic, and it was only fueling the fire. I always try to be logical and it tends to make me ape-shit angry when people cannot understand logical argument. I may be guilty of going a little "deisel" prematurely. The new guy responded to my mostly logical post in a way that woke me up. I then empathized with the new bad ass quitter in a way I should have from the start. Day 1 blew donkey for me, but I was so fired up to quit it went by fast. Day 2 felt like sodomy (the recieving role), but again I was mad as hell and not gonna take it. Day 3 was a shit sandwich. I had to remember what a minute to minute fight it was. I had to remember that I did not have phone #s in my cell phone. I had to remember that I was an asshole to be around. I had to remember that quit was the fight of my life for all day every day at that point... I needed to remember that the fog makes us fucktarded sometimes. I thought about being in a funk a couple of weeks ago, and how I would have caved if I was on my own (thanks again J.F.). Sometimes we try and help new people here, but it is easy to forget the way it felt the first few days of quit. We try and remember and we know it was something we do not want to go through again, but I need to always remember the first few days when I was unsure about KTC and what it could do. I did not know the power of the people here. I saw some of the knowldge in the welcome center, and I wanted to believe, but I did not know the help that was here the first few days. I feel like it helped cut through the bullshit once I made the effort to remember day 3... After that I think my post was more helpful, next I hit up an intro I have been following for a few weeks, and with my new perspective I think I was able to get to the heart of the matter there. I do not want to sound like a D.B. but I am happy if I can help anyone on this site as I owe it. I am finding that I can be inspired by long time quitters, guys just a few days ahead of me or right with me, and guys just behind me. Maybe some of the best inspiration though comes from the brave new quitters who stick it out. On a different bend: I had some decent craves today... All of them were after eating. I basically ate, had a feeling that I needed to do something or life would suck, realized it was the nic bitch and said to myself: "yeah I ned to make up an excuse to leave work for 10 minutes so I can run to the store, sign my contract to quit, cave w/o regaurd to my promise to be nic free and w/o using my tools, pay money to (mostly) UST so they can profit from making me a slave to poison that will kill me, so I can feel like the biggest scum bag in the world and hate myself as soon as I cave, but justify it and be a fucking lying asshole!!!" Needless to say I did not cave or entertain the nic bitches wisperings for more than a second each time, but the kept comming all day! Damn! Guess I needed a rant...
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56- 8 weeks- no fucking way! The intro posts for some of our newest members have me thinking about how wild it is that I have been quit for 56 days in a row! It has been a battle for the newer guys, and it makes me remember how hard I had to fight myself... The week befor I quit I knew I was going to try, but I didn't think I could. I knew I had stopped in the past, but I had never been so addicted befor. That week was a dip orgy! I had a dip in all day every day for that last week... I guess the nic bitch knew I was going to quit, and she was digging in like the nazis with fortress Europe. One of the newest guys who was on day 3 this weekend really made me think. He was making contradictory statements on his posts, and commimg off like a dumb-ass jerk for it. Alot of us KTC crowd were posting the tough love that is almost automatic, and it was only fueling the fire. I always try to be logical and it tends to make me ape-shit angry when people cannot understand logical argument. I may be guilty of going a little "deisel" prematurely. The new guy responded to my mostly logical post in a way that woke me up. I then empathized with the new bad ass quitter in a way I should have from the start. Day 1 blew donkey for me, but I was so fired up to quit it went by fast. Day 2 felt like sodomy (the recieving role), but again I was mad as hell and not gonna take it. Day 3 was a shit sandwich. I had to remember what a minute to minute fight it was. I had to remember that I did not have phone #s in my cell phone. I had to remember that I was an asshole to be around. I had to remember that quit was the fight of my life for all day every day at that point... I needed to remember that the fog makes us fucktarded sometimes. I thought about being in a funk a couple of weeks ago, and how I would have caved if I was on my own (thanks again J.F.). Sometimes we try and help new people here, but it is easy to forget the way it felt the first few days of quit. We try and remember and we know it was something we do not want to go through again, but I need to always remember the first few days when I was unsure about KTC and what it could do. I did not know the power of the people here. I saw some of the knowldge in the welcome center, and I wanted to believe, but I did not know the help that was here the first few days. I feel like it helped cut through the bullshit once I made the effort to remember day 3... After that I think my post was more helpful, next I hit up an intro I have been following for a few weeks, and with my new perspective I think I was able to get to the heart of the matter there. I do not want to sound like a D.B. but I am happy if I can help anyone on this site as I owe it. I am finding that I can be inspired by long time quitters, guys just a few days ahead of me or right with me, and guys just behind me. Maybe some of the best inspiration though comes from the brave new quitters who stick it out. On a different bend: I had some decent craves today... All of them were after eating. I basically ate, had a feeling that I needed to do something or life would suck, realized it was the nic bitch and said to myself: "yeah I ned to make up an excuse to leave work for 10 minutes so I can run to the store, sign my contract to quit, cave w/o regaurd to my promise to be nic free and w/o using my tools, pay money to (mostly) UST so they can profit from making me a slave to poison that will kill me, so I can feel like the biggest scum bag in the world and hate myself as soon as I cave, but justify it and be a fucking lying asshole!!!" Needless to say I did not cave or entertain the nic bitches wisperings for more than a second each time, but the kept comming all day! Damn! Guess I needed a rant...
I know exactly what you mean Matt. Great thoughts. I also draw much strength from those new quitters. I am drawn to those people who are on day 1-10, it is those guys that are fighting the hardest. It is those guys who are most likely to fail. It is those guys who I feel need the most help. I remember the first 2-3 weeks very well. I suffered thru them a hundred times and finally this past Jan I went through it for the last time. I am so grateful for those who reached to me, especially in those early weeks. I truly feel like I owe my life to them. I am so happy that they took the time. Dont stop helping neewbies Matt. All you can do is plant seeds, they no telling how your words will be received. All you can do is try. Thanks for the rant, I dig it.
Ryan
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58- Glad to be quit today. I am on vacation after tonight and am preparing myself to deal with a test. Most of my best friends and their families will be vacationing with me for a few days at a lakehouse, and this will be the first time I am araund them in a mostly private setting. 2 of the three are dippers and the 3rd is a smoker. I am a little worried about it, but I know I have the tools to stay strong. Good day for inspiration for me here. Some of the guys who have been active in helping my quit are hitting 100 days and some of the new quitters I have given my $.02 to are starting to get it. I feel aweful after hearing about Matt but I am glad he is taking control and I pray he will recover.
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58- Glad to be quit today. I am on vacation after tonight and am preparing myself to deal with a test. Most of my best friends and their families will be vacationing with me for a few days at a lakehouse, and this will be the first time I am araund them in a mostly private setting. 2 of the three are dippers and the 3rd is a smoker. I am a little worried about it, but I know I have the tools to stay strong. Good day for inspiration for me here. Some of the guys who have been active in helping my quit are hitting 100 days and some of the new quitters I have given my $.02 to are starting to get it. I feel aweful after hearing about Matt but I am glad he is taking control and I pray he will recover.
You got numbers you got your bail out plan always have a back up plan. If she comes for you be ready preparation is the key here. IDK if you do fake or not but have a can of that ready, seeds gum what have you. Keep booze to a minimum remember day 1! You aint gonna do that shit again NAFAR
Set the rules out in the beginnig with your friends that under no circumstances are they to offer you any nicotine....tell them right off the bat that if they do you will be leaving.
just a .02 if you need my number PM me
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58- Glad to be quit today. I am on vacation after tonight and am preparing myself to deal with a test. Most of my best friends and their families will be vacationing with me for a few days at a lakehouse, and this will be the first time I am araund them in a mostly private setting. 2 of the three are dippers and the 3rd is a smoker. I am a little worried about it, but I know I have the tools to stay strong. Good day for inspiration for me here. Some of the guys who have been active in helping my quit are hitting 100 days and some of the new quitters I have given my $.02 to are starting to get it. I feel aweful after hearing about Matt but I am glad he is taking control and I pray he will recover.
You got numbers you got your bail out plan always have a back up plan. If she comes for you be ready preparation is the key here. IDK if you do fake or not but have a can of that ready, seeds gum what have you. Keep booze to a minimum remember day 1! You aint gonna do that shit again NAFAR
Set the rules out in the beginnig with your friends that under no circumstances are they to offer you any nicotine....tell them right off the bat that if they do you will be leaving.
just a .02 if you need my number PM me
Good recognition of an upcoming event and pending triggers. I just went thru this on a work trip a couple weeks back and a couple folks told me one thing that really helped me -- Don't lose focus of ODAAT. Don't worry about the entire trip and holding serve the entire time... focus your worry on keeping your word and your quit ODAAT. Initially, I was getting way out in front of it and it was weighing heacy on me, but once I brought it back to basics... One day, one hr, whatever increment you need to keep quit -- I found it easier to relax and keep my word. I like Trauma's call on keeping the booze in check and telling your friends your policy on nic. You got this bro. You have my # if you need anything at anytime.
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58- Glad to be quit today. I am on vacation after tonight and am preparing myself to deal with a test. Most of my best friends and their families will be vacationing with me for a few days at a lakehouse, and this will be the first time I am araund them in a mostly private setting. 2 of the three are dippers and the 3rd is a smoker. I am a little worried about it, but I know I have the tools to stay strong. Good day for inspiration for me here. Some of the guys who have been active in helping my quit are hitting 100 days and some of the new quitters I have given my $.02 to are starting to get it. I feel aweful after hearing about Matt but I am glad he is taking control and I pray he will recover.
You got numbers you got your bail out plan always have a back up plan. If she comes for you be ready preparation is the key here. IDK if you do fake or not but have a can of that ready, seeds gum what have you. Keep booze to a minimum remember day 1! You aint gonna do that shit again NAFAR
Set the rules out in the beginnig with your friends that under no circumstances are they to offer you any nicotine....tell them right off the bat that if they do you will be leaving.
just a .02 if you need my number PM me
Good recognition of an upcoming event and pending triggers. I just went thru this on a work trip a couple weeks back and a couple folks told me one thing that really helped me -- Don't lose focus of ODAAT. Don't worry about the entire trip and holding serve the entire time... focus your worry on keeping your word and your quit ODAAT. Initially, I was getting way out in front of it and it was weighing heacy on me, but once I brought it back to basics... One day, one hr, whatever increment you need to keep quit -- I found it easier to relax and keep my word. I like Trauma's call on keeping the booze in check and telling your friends your policy on nic. You got this bro. You have my # if you need anything at anytime.
Stay the course brother! You have received some great advice; set the rules with your buddies, quit everyday, and call/text if you feel you are getting into trouble. There is no shame in reaching out - there is shame in caving when you have all of us with our hands out.
Drink a big ole glass of KTC-aide and enjoy the shit out of you vacation!
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58- Glad to be quit today. I am on vacation after tonight and am preparing myself to deal with a test. Most of my best friends and their families will be vacationing with me for a few days at a lakehouse, and this will be the first time I am araund them in a mostly private setting. 2 of the three are dippers and the 3rd is a smoker. I am a little worried about it, but I know I have the tools to stay strong. Good day for inspiration for me here. Some of the guys who have been active in helping my quit are hitting 100 days and some of the new quitters I have given my $.02 to are starting to get it. I feel aweful after hearing about Matt but I am glad he is taking control and I pray he will recover.
You got numbers you got your bail out plan always have a back up plan. If she comes for you be ready preparation is the key here. IDK if you do fake or not but have a can of that ready, seeds gum what have you. Keep booze to a minimum remember day 1! You aint gonna do that shit again NAFAR
Set the rules out in the beginnig with your friends that under no circumstances are they to offer you any nicotine....tell them right off the bat that if they do you will be leaving.
just a .02 if you need my number PM me
Good recognition of an upcoming event and pending triggers. I just went thru this on a work trip a couple weeks back and a couple folks told me one thing that really helped me -- Don't lose focus of ODAAT. Don't worry about the entire trip and holding serve the entire time... focus your worry on keeping your word and your quit ODAAT. Initially, I was getting way out in front of it and it was weighing heacy on me, but once I brought it back to basics... One day, one hr, whatever increment you need to keep quit -- I found it easier to relax and keep my word. I like Trauma's call on keeping the booze in check and telling your friends your policy on nic. You got this bro. You have my # if you need anything at anytime.
Stay the course brother! You have received some great advice; set the rules with your buddies, quit everyday, and call/text if you feel you are getting into trouble. There is no shame in reaching out - there is shame in caving when you have all of us with our hands out.
Drink a big ole glass of KTC-aide and enjoy the shit out of you vacation!
When you see them friends just see them for what they are. Slaves bro. Let them see what freedom is. Let them see what it could be like without their poison dragging them around.
Watch the way they act when it's been to long and the poison starts ordering them back outside where they can suckle with it. They will no doubt go outside together and take part in poison suckling. They will have big smiles, while laughing and joking. All the while the poison is coursing through their blood where it will continue to destroy them. Where it will continue to turn their lungs black with tar and Carthaginians. Watch the dipper as he puts black dirt in his lip where it will cut and slice so the poison can course through his veins. Watch as all the slaves finish about the same time, head back inside and wait for their orders to be given once again.
See if for what it is my friend and it will be another day in the life of a real quitter... I'll be quit with you bro....
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58- Glad to be quit today. I am on vacation after tonight and am preparing myself to deal with a test. Most of my best friends and their families will be vacationing with me for a few days at a lakehouse, and this will be the first time I am araund them in a mostly private setting. 2 of the three are dippers and the 3rd is a smoker. I am a little worried about it, but I know I have the tools to stay strong. Good day for inspiration for me here. Some of the guys who have been active in helping my quit are hitting 100 days and some of the new quitters I have given my $.02 to are starting to get it. I feel aweful after hearing about Matt but I am glad he is taking control and I pray he will recover.
You got numbers you got your bail out plan always have a back up plan. If she comes for you be ready preparation is the key here. IDK if you do fake or not but have a can of that ready, seeds gum what have you. Keep booze to a minimum remember day 1! You aint gonna do that shit again NAFAR
Set the rules out in the beginnig with your friends that under no circumstances are they to offer you any nicotine....tell them right off the bat that if they do you will be leaving.
just a .02 if you need my number PM me
Good recognition of an upcoming event and pending triggers. I just went thru this on a work trip a couple weeks back and a couple folks told me one thing that really helped me -- Don't lose focus of ODAAT. Don't worry about the entire trip and holding serve the entire time... focus your worry on keeping your word and your quit ODAAT. Initially, I was getting way out in front of it and it was weighing heacy on me, but once I brought it back to basics... One day, one hr, whatever increment you need to keep quit -- I found it easier to relax and keep my word. I like Trauma's call on keeping the booze in check and telling your friends your policy on nic. You got this bro. You have my # if you need anything at anytime.
Stay the course brother! You have received some great advice; set the rules with your buddies, quit everyday, and call/text if you feel you are getting into trouble. There is no shame in reaching out - there is shame in caving when you have all of us with our hands out.
Drink a big ole glass of KTC-aide and enjoy the shit out of you vacation!
When you see them friends just see them for what they are. Slaves bro. Let them see what freedom is. Let them see what it could be like without their poison dragging them around.
Watch the way they act when it's been to long and the poison starts ordering them back outside where they can suckle with it. They will no doubt go outside together and take part in poison suckling. They will have big smiles, while laughing and joking. All the while the poison is coursing through their blood where it will continue to destroy them. Where it will continue to turn their lungs black with tar and Carthaginians. Watch the dipper as he puts black dirt in his lip where it will cut and slice so the poison can course through his veins. Watch as all the slaves finish about the same time, head back inside and wait for their orders to be given once again.
See if for what it is my friend and it will be another day in the life of a real quitter... I'll be quit with you bro....
Thanks guys! I was starting to feel a funk comming on, but then I read all the responses here and I know I will be fine. Great advice, and these friends are my oldest and best so I know they will respect my quit. I will pack plenty of smokeless alternatives, and program some of my contact #s into my wifes phone JIC. So good to be quit... I will remember day 1 and I will show my friends what freedom is like!
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58- Glad to be quit today. I am on vacation after tonight and am preparing myself to deal with a test. Most of my best friends and their families will be vacationing with me for a few days at a lakehouse, and this will be the first time I am araund them in a mostly private setting. 2 of the three are dippers and the 3rd is a smoker. I am a little worried about it, but I know I have the tools to stay strong. Good day for inspiration for me here. Some of the guys who have been active in helping my quit are hitting 100 days and some of the new quitters I have given my $.02 to are starting to get it. I feel aweful after hearing about Matt but I am glad he is taking control and I pray he will recover.
You got numbers you got your bail out plan always have a back up plan. If she comes for you be ready preparation is the key here. IDK if you do fake or not but have a can of that ready, seeds gum what have you. Keep booze to a minimum remember day 1! You aint gonna do that shit again NAFAR
Set the rules out in the beginnig with your friends that under no circumstances are they to offer you any nicotine....tell them right off the bat that if they do you will be leaving.
just a .02 if you need my number PM me
Good recognition of an upcoming event and pending triggers. I just went thru this on a work trip a couple weeks back and a couple folks told me one thing that really helped me -- Don't lose focus of ODAAT. Don't worry about the entire trip and holding serve the entire time... focus your worry on keeping your word and your quit ODAAT. Initially, I was getting way out in front of it and it was weighing heacy on me, but once I brought it back to basics... One day, one hr, whatever increment you need to keep quit -- I found it easier to relax and keep my word. I like Trauma's call on keeping the booze in check and telling your friends your policy on nic. You got this bro. You have my # if you need anything at anytime.
Stay the course brother! You have received some great advice; set the rules with your buddies, quit everyday, and call/text if you feel you are getting into trouble. There is no shame in reaching out - there is shame in caving when you have all of us with our hands out.
Drink a big ole glass of KTC-aide and enjoy the shit out of you vacation!
When you see them friends just see them for what they are. Slaves bro. Let them see what freedom is. Let them see what it could be like without their poison dragging them around.
Watch the way they act when it's been to long and the poison starts ordering them back outside where they can suckle with it. They will no doubt go outside together and take part in poison suckling. They will have big smiles, while laughing and joking. All the while the poison is coursing through their blood where it will continue to destroy them. Where it will continue to turn their lungs black with tar and Carthaginians. Watch the dipper as he puts black dirt in his lip where it will cut and slice so the poison can course through his veins. Watch as all the slaves finish about the same time, head back inside and wait for their orders to be given once again.
See if for what it is my friend and it will be another day in the life of a real quitter... I'll be quit with you bro....
Thanks guys! I was starting to feel a funk comming on, but then I read all the responses here and I know I will be fine. Great advice, and these friends are my oldest and best so I know they will respect my quit. I will pack plenty of smokeless alternatives, and program some of my contact #s into my wifes phone JIC. So good to be quit... I will remember day 1 and I will show my friends what freedom is like!
Suck the marrow from the bone of life, not the juice from a posionous weed.
Think.
Think about the last time you stopped for 5 months and thought you could handle one with the fellas. Took you two years to wise up.
Friends, lakehouse, vacation...sounds like a hell of a time. Dip won't make it any better.
Live.
Live free of the slavery, the sore lip, the eroded gums, the brown teeth, the spewing of slime into a bottle. Live free of the fear of losing your face, your family, your loved ones...your life.
You got this.
I know it and so does every other mother fucker on this site.
Enjoy yourself. Your true self. Not the one dependent on dip. You don't need the stuff, and you never did.
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58- Glad to be quit today. I am on vacation after tonight and am preparing myself to deal with a test. Most of my best friends and their families will be vacationing with me for a few days at a lakehouse, and this will be the first time I am araund them in a mostly private setting. 2 of the three are dippers and the 3rd is a smoker. I am a little worried about it, but I know I have the tools to stay strong. Good day for inspiration for me here. Some of the guys who have been active in helping my quit are hitting 100 days and some of the new quitters I have given my $.02 to are starting to get it. I feel aweful after hearing about Matt but I am glad he is taking control and I pray he will recover.
You got numbers you got your bail out plan always have a back up plan. If she comes for you be ready preparation is the key here. IDK if you do fake or not but have a can of that ready, seeds gum what have you. Keep booze to a minimum remember day 1! You aint gonna do that shit again NAFAR
Set the rules out in the beginnig with your friends that under no circumstances are they to offer you any nicotine....tell them right off the bat that if they do you will be leaving.
just a .02 if you need my number PM me
Good recognition of an upcoming event and pending triggers. I just went thru this on a work trip a couple weeks back and a couple folks told me one thing that really helped me -- Don't lose focus of ODAAT. Don't worry about the entire trip and holding serve the entire time... focus your worry on keeping your word and your quit ODAAT. Initially, I was getting way out in front of it and it was weighing heacy on me, but once I brought it back to basics... One day, one hr, whatever increment you need to keep quit -- I found it easier to relax and keep my word. I like Trauma's call on keeping the booze in check and telling your friends your policy on nic. You got this bro. You have my # if you need anything at anytime.
Stay the course brother! You have received some great advice; set the rules with your buddies, quit everyday, and call/text if you feel you are getting into trouble. There is no shame in reaching out - there is shame in caving when you have all of us with our hands out.
Drink a big ole glass of KTC-aide and enjoy the shit out of you vacation!
When you see them friends just see them for what they are. Slaves bro. Let them see what freedom is. Let them see what it could be like without their poison dragging them around.
Watch the way they act when it's been to long and the poison starts ordering them back outside where they can suckle with it. They will no doubt go outside together and take part in poison suckling. They will have big smiles, while laughing and joking. All the while the poison is coursing through their blood where it will continue to destroy them. Where it will continue to turn their lungs black with tar and Carthaginians. Watch the dipper as he puts black dirt in his lip where it will cut and slice so the poison can course through his veins. Watch as all the slaves finish about the same time, head back inside and wait for their orders to be given once again.
See if for what it is my friend and it will be another day in the life of a real quitter... I'll be quit with you bro....
Thanks guys! I was starting to feel a funk comming on, but then I read all the responses here and I know I will be fine. Great advice, and these friends are my oldest and best so I know they will respect my quit. I will pack plenty of smokeless alternatives, and program some of my contact #s into my wifes phone JIC. So good to be quit... I will remember day 1 and I will show my friends what freedom is like!
Suck the marrow from the bone of life, not the juice from a posionous weed.
Think.
Think about the last time you stopped for 5 months and thought you could handle one with the fellas. Took you two years to wise up.
Friends, lakehouse, vacation...sounds like a hell of a time. Dip won't make it any better.
Live.
Live free of the slavery, the sore lip, the eroded gums, the brown teeth, the spewing of slime into a bottle. Live free of the fear of losing your face, your family, your loved ones...your life.
You got this.
I know it and so does every other mother fucker on this site.
Enjoy yourself. Your true self. Not the one dependent on dip. You don't need the stuff, and you never did.
I am going to be reading and rereading this stuff all week long. No way I can cave with all you guys keeping an eye on me! ODAAT QLF EDD NAFAR... Shit I might have to get a tatoo now...
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61- Got through last night at home by myself with no trouble (last time I had the house to myself I had a tough time). Today I go to the lake, but my "boys" won't be there 'till 2mro. Wife says cell service is iffy right at the house, but I can walk 'till I get service if I need to reach out. I will be having fun and staying strong.
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61- Got through last night at home by myself with no trouble (last time I had the house to myself I had a tough time). Today I go to the lake, but my "boys" won't be there 'till 2mro. Wife says cell service is iffy right at the house, but I can walk 'till I get service if I need to reach out. I will be having fun and staying strong.
Have a good time on vacation. Write down some numbers on a piece of paper and use the landline if you need to. Don't want to be searching for service if you need to talk. You got this. Stay strong, stay quit and enjoy your vacation.
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61- Got through last night at home by myself with no trouble (last time I had the house to myself I had a tough time). Today I go to the lake, but my "boys" won't be there 'till 2mro. Wife says cell service is iffy right at the house, but I can walk 'till I get service if I need to reach out. I will be having fun and staying strong.
Have a good time on vacation. Write down some numbers on a piece of paper and use the landline if you need to. Don't want to be searching for service if you need to talk. You got this. Stay strong, stay quit and enjoy your vacation.
Yep Derk is right have yourself a back up plan. Let MS B Lo know if you start getting that twinge. Two on one is a good move stay one step ahead of the bitch
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61- Got through last night at home by myself with no trouble (last time I had the house to myself I had a tough time). Today I go to the lake, but my "boys" won't be there 'till 2mro. Wife says cell service is iffy right at the house, but I can walk 'till I get service if I need to reach out. I will be having fun and staying strong.
Have a good time on vacation. Write down some numbers on a piece of paper and use the landline if you need to. Don't want to be searching for service if you need to talk. You got this. Stay strong, stay quit and enjoy your vacation.
Yep Derk is right have yourself a back up plan. Let MS B Lo know if you start getting that twinge. Two on one is a good move stay one step ahead of the bitch
61 days of badassery... Don't let anything bring you down bro. Like T said... Use the Mrs as a lifeline if needed. Pm me if you'd like another number bro. Rock on B!
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65- Back from a great few days. The dogs bark was worse than the bite. The night befor my friends got there I had my first real dip dream. I dreamed I had a big wad of the crud in my mouth, not sure how or why, and I was liking it. As soon as I realized what I was doing I felt the guilt of caving and tried to get the wad out, but I could not get my mouth 100% clean... Woke up and was so happy it was just a dream. I was also supper happy with the timeing b/c I got a glimpse at how much of a peice of crap I would feel like if I caved. Both my dipper buddies were supper cool about everything, but the truth was that I felt sorry for them. Watching them having a fatty in was more of a crave killer than a trigger. Tough to romanticise the poison when all the grossness of it is on full display. The nasty smell, the brown slime in a plastic cup or bottle, the need to make a 45 minute trip to restock befor you run out... Yeah it was just the same as any other day of quit; maybe even easier since there was so much to keep me distracted. I feel like I have to confess though: I was making a supply run into town and my friend asked me if I could handle picking up a tin for him and said he understood if I wouldn't. I thought about it for a minute and then said yes I could do that. I stopped at a c-store for it last thing befor we got back b/c I didn't really want it in the car with me, and I was feeling real dirty as I walked up to the counter. My buds first choice was w.g. Grizzly but they were out so I had to get him coppe. I was happy there was some 'introductory' sale offer on it and it came with some additional cardboard packaging. What a b/s line of pusher garbage this special intro pricing crap is. It wasn't even a new flavor! Anyway I felt soiled just handing money over for a can of poison again even if it was not my money or my poison... I felt like a looser for holding that can for the 23 seconds it took me to walk out of the store and drop it onto my backseat. I didn't even bring the can in when I got back... O.k. I feel a little less dirty now.
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65- Back from a great few days. The dogs bark was worse than the bite. The night befor my friends got there I had my first real dip dream. I dreamed I had a big wad of the crud in my mouth, not sure how or why, and I was liking it. As soon as I realized what I was doing I felt the guilt of caving and tried to get the wad out, but I could not get my mouth 100% clean... Woke up and was so happy it was just a dream. I was also supper happy with the timeing b/c I got a glimpse at how much of a peice of crap I would feel like if I caved. Both my dipper buddies were supper cool about everything, but the truth was that I felt sorry for them. Watching them having a fatty in was more of a crave killer than a trigger. Tough to romanticise the poison when all the grossness of it is on full display. The nasty smell, the brown slime in a plastic cup or bottle, the need to make a 45 minute trip to restock befor you run out... Yeah it was just the same as any other day of quit; maybe even easier since there was so much to keep me distracted. I feel like I have to confess though: I was making a supply run into town and my friend asked me if I could handle picking up a tin for him and said he understood if I wouldn't. I thought about it for a minute and then said yes I could do that. I stopped at a c-store for it last thing befor we got back b/c I didn't really want it in the car with me, and I was feeling real dirty as I walked up to the counter. My buds first choice was w.g. Grizzly but they were out so I had to get him coppe. I was happy there was some 'introductory' sale offer on it and it came with some additional cardboard packaging. What a b/s line of pusher garbage this special intro pricing crap is. It wasn't even a new flavor! Anyway I felt soiled just handing money over for a can of poison again even if it was not my money or my poison... I felt like a looser for holding that can for the 23 seconds it took me to walk out of the store and drop it onto my backseat. I didn't even bring the can in when I got back... O.k. I feel a little less dirty now.
Matt you are a pimp and I am proud of you bro. Keep killing it. However, WTF are you doing buying that shit for anyone. Fuck that. I would have taken the 6 bucks and lit that shit on fire. Tell that slave buddy of yours that freedom is within his grasp. It can be done and you are the proof.
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65- Back from a great few days. The dogs bark was worse than the bite. The night befor my friends got there I had my first real dip dream. I dreamed I had a big wad of the crud in my mouth, not sure how or why, and I was liking it. As soon as I realized what I was doing I felt the guilt of caving and tried to get the wad out, but I could not get my mouth 100% clean... Woke up and was so happy it was just a dream. I was also supper happy with the timeing b/c I got a glimpse at how much of a peice of crap I would feel like if I caved. Both my dipper buddies were supper cool about everything, but the truth was that I felt sorry for them. Watching them having a fatty in was more of a crave killer than a trigger. Tough to romanticise the poison when all the grossness of it is on full display. The nasty smell, the brown slime in a plastic cup or bottle, the need to make a 45 minute trip to restock befor you run out... Yeah it was just the same as any other day of quit; maybe even easier since there was so much to keep me distracted. I feel like I have to confess though: I was making a supply run into town and my friend asked me if I could handle picking up a tin for him and said he understood if I wouldn't. I thought about it for a minute and then said yes I could do that. I stopped at a c-store for it last thing befor we got back b/c I didn't really want it in the car with me, and I was feeling real dirty as I walked up to the counter. My buds first choice was w.g. Grizzly but they were out so I had to get him coppe. I was happy there was some 'introductory' sale offer on it and it came with some additional cardboard packaging. What a b/s line of pusher garbage this special intro pricing crap is. It wasn't even a new flavor! Anyway I felt soiled just handing money over for a can of poison again even if it was not my money or my poison... I felt like a looser for holding that can for the 23 seconds it took me to walk out of the store and drop it onto my backseat. I didn't even bring the can in when I got back... O.k. I feel a little less dirty now.
Matt you are a pimp and I am proud of you bro. Keep killing it. However, WTF are you doing buying that shit for anyone. Fuck that. I would have taken the 6 bucks and lit that shit on fire. Tell that slave buddy of yours that freedom is within his grasp. It can be done and you are the proof.
IG2H is EXACTLY right!!! You should have done your buddy a favor and bought him a porno mag. At least pulling it is a heart-healthy alternative...uh, I'm told...
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66- Wow I had the worst dip dream last night! I dreampt that I was a slave again! The point I remember I was 3 dips into a just 1 dip can... I kept thinking that I needed to spit the crud out and pitch the tin, but I kept repacking my lip as soon as I spit one out. I was feeling powerless and crushed about letting myself and my KTC family down... I woke up and had to think long and hard to make sure it was just a dream. Really disturbed by these dreams, but looking at the silver lining that I know I do NOT want to feel the guilt and shame I felt in my dip dreams. I also know I do not want to be a slave again!
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66- Wow I had the worst dip dream last night! I dreampt that I was a slave again! The point I remember I was 3 dips into a just 1 dip can... I kept thinking that I needed to spit the crud out and pitch the tin, but I kept repacking my lip as soon as I spit one out. I was feeling powerless and crushed about letting myself and my KTC family down... I woke up and had to think long and hard to make sure it was just a dream. Really disturbed by these dreams, but looking at the silver lining that I know I do NOT want to feel the guilt and shame I felt in my dip dreams. I also know I do not want to be a slave again!
Sounds like a nightmare! Glad you woke up! That shit sucks! Keep killing it bro. We don't ever need a chef in the kitchen with cat turds in his lip again! ( OK you probably never did that ). Just saying!
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66- Wow I had the worst dip dream last night! I dreampt that I was a slave again! The point I remember I was 3 dips into a just 1 dip can... I kept thinking that I needed to spit the crud out and pitch the tin, but I kept repacking my lip as soon as I spit one out. I was feeling powerless and crushed about letting myself and my KTC family down... I woke up and had to think long and hard to make sure it was just a dream. Really disturbed by these dreams, but looking at the silver lining that I know I do NOT want to feel the guilt and shame I felt in my dip dreams. I also know I do not want to be a slave again!
Sounds like a nightmare! Glad you woke up! That shit sucks! Keep killing it bro. We don't ever need a chef in the kitchen with cat turds in his lip again! ( OK you probably never did that ). Just saying!
You wouldn't want your cooks spitting in your food dip or no dip...
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66- Wow I had the worst dip dream last night! I dreampt that I was a slave again! The point I remember I was 3 dips into a just 1 dip can... I kept thinking that I needed to spit the crud out and pitch the tin, but I kept repacking my lip as soon as I spit one out. I was feeling powerless and crushed about letting myself and my KTC family down... I woke up and had to think long and hard to make sure it was just a dream. Really disturbed by these dreams, but looking at the silver lining that I know I do NOT want to feel the guilt and shame I felt in my dip dreams. I also know I do not want to be a slave again!
Sounds like a nightmare! Glad you woke up! That shit sucks! Keep killing it bro. We don't ever need a chef in the kitchen with cat turds in his lip again! ( OK you probably never did that ). Just saying!
Yes they shake me up too, but yes they are also a free glimpse at what a cave would be like, horrible. Your a bad ass. I quit with you.
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66- Wow I had the worst dip dream last night! I dreampt that I was a slave again! The point I remember I was 3 dips into a just 1 dip can... I kept thinking that I needed to spit the crud out and pitch the tin, but I kept repacking my lip as soon as I spit one out. I was feeling powerless and crushed about letting myself and my KTC family down... I woke up and had to think long and hard to make sure it was just a dream. Really disturbed by these dreams, but looking at the silver lining that I know I do NOT want to feel the guilt and shame I felt in my dip dreams. I also know I do not want to be a slave again!
Sounds like a nightmare! Glad you woke up! That shit sucks! Keep killing it bro. We don't ever need a chef in the kitchen with cat turds in his lip again! ( OK you probably never did that ). Just saying!
You wouldn't want your cooks spitting in your food dip or no dip...
Must be the time for dip dreams- I had one too. Super bizarro dream but same feelings of guilt-remorse-shame. Good to be quit with you!
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66- Wow I had the worst dip dream last night! I dreampt that I was a slave again! The point I remember I was 3 dips into a just 1 dip can... I kept thinking that I needed to spit the crud out and pitch the tin, but I kept repacking my lip as soon as I spit one out. I was feeling powerless and crushed about letting myself and my KTC family down... I woke up and had to think long and hard to make sure it was just a dream. Really disturbed by these dreams, but looking at the silver lining that I know I do NOT want to feel the guilt and shame I felt in my dip dreams. I also know I do not want to be a slave again!
Sounds like a nightmare! Glad you woke up! That shit sucks! Keep killing it bro. We don't ever need a chef in the kitchen with cat turds in his lip again! ( OK you probably never did that ). Just saying!
You wouldn't want your cooks spitting in your food dip or no dip...
Must be the time for dip dreams- I had one too. Super bizarro dream but same feelings of guilt-remorse-shame. Good to be quit with you!
U definitely don't want to be a slave again. Wonder if this recent dream has anything to do with you buying that tin for your buddy the other day. I have thought about that and was unsure how to respond when I read ur post. I think that was playin with fire and you should think long hard about ever doing that again. Ur buddy askin you to buy that tin is equivalent to me asking an alcoholic buddy of mine to go to the bar and grab me a gin tonic. Nothing to be gained too much to lose. I am glad u thru that tin in the backseat held ur quit. Way to hold to ur plan. Proud to be quit with you!
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67- No dip dreams last night thank God, but I did have some craves and a bit o' the suck. I embrace the suck 'cause it means I am winning! Back to work tonite and my vacation is officialy over. My quit however is stronger than ever. I made it past several 'firsts' this past week without a poison weed in my mouth: vacation with famly and friends, fishing, a day at the beach, campfires, going to a bar with friends who dip, etc. Realizing that not only could I do all these things without dip, but that I could enjoy them without dip has made my quit stronger. Hell it awesome not to have to worry about all the b/s involved with being a slave to the can. Freedom is worth the daily fight. QLF EDD!
After further thought on the matter I am also glad that I picked up that tin for my buddy. I am not glad about him dipping or that UST made a sale, but I do not have to be afraid of 'the rack of death' in every gas station and c-store I go in. I am quit and so long as I choose to stay that way the dip cannot get me. The tins on the rack will not open themselves up and jump in my mouth. I can hold a tin in my hand (not that I am advocating doing this or planning on doing it again) and not be compeled to pack a dip as if someone else controled me. The dip and the nic bitch only have power over me that I give them. Yes I will always have craves, a case of the suck, a bought of the fog, and the nic bitch can whisper in my ear at anytime, but I am the only one who can choose to stay quit or not.
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67- No dip dreams last night thank God, but I did have some craves and a bit o' the suck. I embrace the suck 'cause it means I am winning! Back to work tonite and my vacation is officialy over. My quit however is stronger than ever. I made it past several 'firsts' this past week without a poison weed in my mouth: vacation with famly and friends, fishing, a day at the beach, campfires, going to a bar with friends who dip, etc. Realizing that not only could I do all these things without dip, but that I could enjoy them without dip has made my quit stronger. Hell it awesome not to have to worry about all the b/s involved with being a slave to the can. Freedom is worth the daily fight. QLF EDD!
After further thought on the matter I am also glad that I picked up that tin for my buddy. I am not glad about him dipping or that UST made a sale, but I do not have to be afraid of 'the rack of death' in every gas station and c-store I go in. I am quit and so long as I choose to stay that way the dip cannot get me. The tins on the rack will not open themselves up and jump in my mouth. I can hold a tin in my hand (not that I am advocating doing this or planning on doing it again) and not be compeled to pack a dip as if someone else controled me. The dip and the nic bitch only have power over me that I give them. Yes I will always have craves, a case of the suck, a bought of the fog, and the nic bitch can whisper in my ear at anytime, but I am the only one who can choose to stay quit or not.
Well it is clear that buying that taught u something and strengthened ur quit. The poison does not own us. We own our quit! The tin won't open itself! Quit with you all day!
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I like being quit.
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The ex smoker at the c-store on my corner told me that they had to throw out all their apple skoal since it went past the expiration date... What a boo-hoo shame... I don't know if I should be happy about that or just marvel at their previous ability to keep it in stock... Whatever. Up yours UST 'Finger'
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I like being quit.
Bingo
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70- Good quit day. No big bad craves, little suck. no fog.... I can do this again tommorow... I do not get real psyched up about anything lately... I still get bummed and can get wicked pissed off, but not getting much excitement. Anyone else go through this? I haven't gotten excited about anything since I can remember now... I cannot honestly pin this down to a date so I do not know if it is quit related or just my life in general (where my head is now I am leaning towards the latter), but I am curious: anyone else gets the "blahs" for months on end as a quit symptom?
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70- Good quit day. No big bad craves, little suck. no fog.... I can do this again tommorow... I do not get real psyched up about anything lately... I still get bummed and can get wicked pissed off, but not getting much excitement. Anyone else go through this? I haven't gotten excited about anything since I can remember now... I cannot honestly pin this down to a date so I do not know if it is quit related or just my life in general (where my head is now I am leaning towards the latter), but I am curious: anyone else gets the "blahs" for months on end as a quit symptom?
Hey bub,
It could be a nic related thing. I'll explain. Nic screws with the dopmine (pleasure chemical) our brain releases. Furthermore, it screws with the production, absorption, and release of other neurotransmitters. Anyway, the rapid change in the production, absorption, or release in dopamine or other neurotransmitter may be causing the "blah" state. The brain will struggle to learn how to naturally produce the levels of dopamine it did before we started suckin on the nic turd. Anyway, this is natural for all addicts of any drug to experience and every addict can be different when considering the length/severity of the "blues". Also, you can look up Kuebler Ross and the Grief Process. Many people don't want to admit they actual grieve for the drug that was killing them but m beany addicts do grieve because of the relationship we addicts built with our drug. Granted, it was all one-sided in the end. This could be impacting it as well. I have found myself in a "blah" state the last couple weeks as well but your further in your quit than I.
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70- Good quit day. No big bad craves, little suck. no fog.... I can do this again tommorow... I do not get real psyched up about anything lately... I still get bummed and can get wicked pissed off, but not getting much excitement. Anyone else go through this? I haven't gotten excited about anything since I can remember now... I cannot honestly pin this down to a date so I do not know if it is quit related or just my life in general (where my head is now I am leaning towards the latter), but I am curious: anyone else gets the "blahs" for months on end as a quit symptom?
Hey bub,
It could be a nic related thing. I'll explain. Nic screws with the dopmine (pleasure chemical) our brain releases. Furthermore, it screws with the production, absorption, and release of other neurotransmitters. Anyway, the rapid change in the production, absorption, or release in dopamine or other neurotransmitter may be causing the "blah" state. The brain will struggle to learn how to naturally produce the levels of dopamine it did before we started suckin on the nic turd. Anyway, this is natural for all addicts of any drug to experience and every addict can be different when considering the length/severity of the "blues". Also, you can look up Kuebler Ross and the Grief Process. Many people don't want to admit they actual grieve for the drug that was killing them but m beany addicts do grieve because of the relationship we addicts built with our drug. Granted, it was all one-sided in the end. This could be impacting it as well. I have found myself in a "blah" state the last couple weeks as well but your further in your quit than I.
Yeah that makes sense FI. Thanks. I almost don't even care at this point. I will just deal with whatever emotional state I am in day to day. My # 1 focus is still to QLF EDD at this point. I hope it is just some brain chemistry that needs rewirring, but to tell the truth I hate the nic so bad right now I could embrace the suck each day just so long as I stay quit. Hope to be excited about something at some point again, but right now just happy being quit. Anyone else a little further along the journy have any insight I would love to read it...
-
70- Good quit day. No big bad craves, little suck. no fog.... I can do this again tommorow... I do not get real psyched up about anything lately... I still get bummed and can get wicked pissed off, but not getting much excitement. Anyone else go through this? I haven't gotten excited about anything since I can remember now... I cannot honestly pin this down to a date so I do not know if it is quit related or just my life in general (where my head is now I am leaning towards the latter), but I am curious: anyone else gets the "blahs" for months on end as a quit symptom?
Hey bub,
It could be a nic related thing. I'll explain. Nic screws with the dopmine (pleasure chemical) our brain releases. Furthermore, it screws with the production, absorption, and release of other neurotransmitters. Anyway, the rapid change in the production, absorption, or release in dopamine or other neurotransmitter may be causing the "blah" state. The brain will struggle to learn how to naturally produce the levels of dopamine it did before we started suckin on the nic turd. Anyway, this is natural for all addicts of any drug to experience and every addict can be different when considering the length/severity of the "blues". Also, you can look up Kuebler Ross and the Grief Process. Many people don't want to admit they actual grieve for the drug that was killing them but m beany addicts do grieve because of the relationship we addicts built with our drug. Granted, it was all one-sided in the end. This could be impacting it as well. I have found myself in a "blah" state the last couple weeks as well but your further in your quit than I.
Yeah that makes sense FI. Thanks. I almost don't even care at this point. I will just deal with whatever emotional state I am in day to day. My # 1 focus is still to QLF EDD at this point. I hope it is just some brain chemistry that needs rewirring, but to tell the truth I hate the nic so bad right now I could embrace the suck each day just so long as I stay quit. Hope to be excited about something at some point again, but right now just happy being quit. Anyone else a little further along the journy have any insight I would love to read it...
I feel you B. Here's my .02, for what it's worth...
I dealt with a mondo heavy case of the blahs from, like, my mid 30s to around 70/80ish days. It was just a big ol' F'it attitude. No real anger or irritability... Just total apathy. Hard to pin down. I agree with everything FI said... The chemical factory in our body took a major hit when we quit. I think it's a depression that some go through. Trying to fill the void that we "think" quitting dip left us with. Even at 112 days I'm still fighting to rewire myself away from the "this was better with dip" frame of mind. It's not a tooth and nail fight like it was... more like a quick bitch-slap now :)
It's a slow roll for some bro. The main thing to know is... Nothing's wrong. We have years of abuse to atone for! Also... I like to warn everyone of this, don't go lookin' for issues either. Some guys are hypochondriacs now that they've quit. Every little thing is cause for an "is this normal?!" freak out. I guarantee you we went through all this shit (life) while dipping. BUT... The nic biotch lied to us and made us think that we didn't have a problem we couldn't sail through because of our fix. All this shit is the REAL normal... We're just not used to it yet! Patience brother. You are killin' this and your toolbox is full. Rock on...
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70- Good quit day. No big bad craves, little suck. no fog.... I can do this again tommorow... I do not get real psyched up about anything lately... I still get bummed and can get wicked pissed off, but not getting much excitement. Anyone else go through this? I haven't gotten excited about anything since I can remember now... I cannot honestly pin this down to a date so I do not know if it is quit related or just my life in general (where my head is now I am leaning towards the latter), but I am curious: anyone else gets the "blahs" for months on end as a quit symptom?
Hey bub,
It could be a nic related thing. I'll explain. Nic screws with the dopmine (pleasure chemical) our brain releases. Furthermore, it screws with the production, absorption, and release of other neurotransmitters. Anyway, the rapid change in the production, absorption, or release in dopamine or other neurotransmitter may be causing the "blah" state. The brain will struggle to learn how to naturally produce the levels of dopamine it did before we started suckin on the nic turd. Anyway, this is natural for all addicts of any drug to experience and every addict can be different when considering the length/severity of the "blues". Also, you can look up Kuebler Ross and the Grief Process. Many people don't want to admit they actual grieve for the drug that was killing them but m beany addicts do grieve because of the relationship we addicts built with our drug. Granted, it was all one-sided in the end. This could be impacting it as well. I have found myself in a "blah" state the last couple weeks as well but your further in your quit than I.
Yeah that makes sense FI. Thanks. I almost don't even care at this point. I will just deal with whatever emotional state I am in day to day. My # 1 focus is still to QLF EDD at this point. I hope it is just some brain chemistry that needs rewirring, but to tell the truth I hate the nic so bad right now I could embrace the suck each day just so long as I stay quit. Hope to be excited about something at some point again, but right now just happy being quit. Anyone else a little further along the journy have any insight I would love to read it...
I feel you B. Here's my .02, for what it's worth...
I dealt with a mondo heavy case of the blahs from, like, my mid 30s to around 70/80ish days. It was just a big ol' F'it attitude. No real anger or irritability... Just total apathy. Hard to pin down. I agree with everything FI said... The chemical factory in our body took a major hit when we quit. I think it's a depression that some go through. Trying to fill the void that we "think" quitting dip left us with. Even at 112 days I'm still fighting to rewire myself away from the "this was better with dip" frame of mind. It's not a tooth and nail fight like it was... more like a quick bitch-slap now :)
It's a slow roll for some bro. The main thing to know is... Nothing's wrong. We have years of abuse to atone for! Also... I like to warn everyone of this, don't go lookin' for issues either. Some guys are hypochondriacs now that they've quit. Every little thing is cause for an "is this normal?!" freak out. I guarantee you we went through all this shit (life) while dipping. BUT... The nic biotch lied to us and made us think that we didn't have a problem we couldn't sail through because of our fix. All this shit is the REAL normal... We're just not used to it yet! Patience brother. You are killin' this and your toolbox is full. Rock on...
During this process the 70,s were the worst for me. I was so burnt out on the emotional roller coaster. Good news,, after the 70 everything improved and I've not seen days like those again. I've had some more down days, but not like those.
Proud of you mat. Get that coin ordered, better days are ahead.
Do you like ice cream? I ask because evidently some don't. Didn't think that was possible. If you do its the best for helping with the blas. It helps those transmitters and nurrotrans and whatever else fi was taking about. Quit with you bro.
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70- Good quit day. No big bad craves, little suck. no fog.... I can do this again tommorow... I do not get real psyched up about anything lately... I still get bummed and can get wicked pissed off, but not getting much excitement. Anyone else go through this? I haven't gotten excited about anything since I can remember now... I cannot honestly pin this down to a date so I do not know if it is quit related or just my life in general (where my head is now I am leaning towards the latter), but I am curious: anyone else gets the "blahs" for months on end as a quit symptom?
Hey bub,
It could be a nic related thing. I'll explain. Nic screws with the dopmine (pleasure chemical) our brain releases. Furthermore, it screws with the production, absorption, and release of other neurotransmitters. Anyway, the rapid change in the production, absorption, or release in dopamine or other neurotransmitter may be causing the "blah" state. The brain will struggle to learn how to naturally produce the levels of dopamine it did before we started suckin on the nic turd. Anyway, this is natural for all addicts of any drug to experience and every addict can be different when considering the length/severity of the "blues". Also, you can look up Kuebler Ross and the Grief Process. Many people don't want to admit they actual grieve for the drug that was killing them but m beany addicts do grieve because of the relationship we addicts built with our drug. Granted, it was all one-sided in the end. This could be impacting it as well. I have found myself in a "blah" state the last couple weeks as well but your further in your quit than I.
Yeah that makes sense FI. Thanks. I almost don't even care at this point. I will just deal with whatever emotional state I am in day to day. My # 1 focus is still to QLF EDD at this point. I hope it is just some brain chemistry that needs rewirring, but to tell the truth I hate the nic so bad right now I could embrace the suck each day just so long as I stay quit. Hope to be excited about something at some point again, but right now just happy being quit. Anyone else a little further along the journy have any insight I would love to read it...
I feel you B. Here's my .02, for what it's worth...
I dealt with a mondo heavy case of the blahs from, like, my mid 30s to around 70/80ish days. It was just a big ol' F'it attitude. No real anger or irritability... Just total apathy. Hard to pin down. I agree with everything FI said... The chemical factory in our body took a major hit when we quit. I think it's a depression that some go through. Trying to fill the void that we "think" quitting dip left us with. Even at 112 days I'm still fighting to rewire myself away from the "this was better with dip" frame of mind. It's not a tooth and nail fight like it was... more like a quick bitch-slap now :)
It's a slow roll for some bro. The main thing to know is... Nothing's wrong. We have years of abuse to atone for! Also... I like to warn everyone of this, don't go lookin' for issues either. Some guys are hypochondriacs now that they've quit. Every little thing is cause for an "is this normal?!" freak out. I guarantee you we went through all this shit (life) while dipping. BUT... The nic biotch lied to us and made us think that we didn't have a problem we couldn't sail through because of our fix. All this shit is the REAL normal... We're just not used to it yet! Patience brother. You are killin' this and your toolbox is full. Rock on...
During this process the 70,s were the worst for me. I was so burnt out on the emotional roller coaster. Good news,, after the 70 everything improved and I've not seen days like those again. I've had some more down days, but not like those.
Proud of you mat. Get that coin ordered, better days are ahead.
Do you like ice cream? I ask because evidently some don't. Didn't think that was possible. If you do its the best for helping with the blas. It helps those transmitters and nurrotrans and whatever else fi was taking about. Quit with you bro.
Thanks guys. srans I do like ice cream and pie, cupcakes, creme brulee, whipped cream, chocolate, hot fudge; not to mention everything savory too. I think I have been trying to jumpstart my dopamine production with food a bit much though as I feel fat in my pants now! I am going to try working out again as I have not been exercising last 2 weeks. Even if that doesn't help at least I will be too tired to care.
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Day 73- Exercise has helped take the edge of the little funk I was in, but apathy still remains... The great news is that my quit is feeling strong. I am staying as close to KTC as I can since I know the nic bitch will try and jump me if I let my guard down. I miss the quit tracker since the mainpage updated but I am right near the $1000.00 mark of money not spent on super addictive poison weed that was killing me! I hate the whole racket.
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75- Wicked dip dream last night. I remember being happy; going for a pinch and it was the last one in the can so I realized I had dipped a whole can. Happy replaced by quilt, remorse, self loathing... Funny how these dreams seem to work. The subconscious craves the poison, but the rational mind hates it...
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78- Other than continued apathy and a little funk my quit has been easy for the last week. No craves not any hardcore suck... I better keep my guard up...
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It is easy to mistake the monotony of success with a funk. You're winning one day at a time. Dip dreams, randomw urges and triggers you weren't aware of are just reminders of your past...when Nic was in control.
Celebrate your quit. Embrace the funk!!! YOU ARE DOING IT, BROTHER!!! At first it was making it through one day. I mean, when you started, did you really believe that you could make it one whole day? Then one whole week? Before long, you looked back over an entire MONTH?!!!
Maybe the milestones are further between now. But the achievement is no less monumental. Take time to congratulate the shit out of yourself. Then, keep posting roll and taking things one day at a time. Congrats, brother. YOU'RE WINNING!!!
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80- Thanks Bean your reply changed my perspective, and I had a good couple days. Guard is still up. Yellow alert due to a feeling that it is too quiet... I have been trying to get on as many new intro threads as I can lately. Trying to pay it forward, and for the first time I have been able to tell people it gets easier with conviction, but also to help remind me what a hell it is to break free. The fact that my mind is starting to heal enough that I am having days where other than KTC I am not thinking about dip at all is a double edge sword. Previous experience tells me one more dip will enslave me all over, but feeling how easy my quit has been... I can understand how I and so many others can fall into the nic bitchs' trap... NAFAR baby! Not gonna fall for that one this time.
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83-...83!!?! Holy crap I have been quit and free from the nicotine slave-master for 83 days!?! Not sure why 83 seems so mind blowing to me this morning; 82 is only one less, and 81, 80, are both awesome too, but almost 3 months quit cold turkey!?! Hell I haven't been this surprised since day 7. I guess it's just the daily ritual of posting roll and whatever makes the days go by. Anyway, I am never going back, and I can't wait to see what #s will blow my mind in the future. Quit on!
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83-...83!!?! Holy crap I have been quit and free from the nicotine slave-master for 83 days!?! Not sure why 83 seems so mind blowing to me this morning; 82 is only one less, and 81, 80, are both awesome too, but almost 3 months quit cold turkey!?! Hell I haven't been this surprised since day 7. I guess it's just the daily ritual of posting roll and whatever makes the days go by. Anyway, I am never going back, and I can't wait to see what #s will blow my mind in the future. Quit on!
nice job B-lo. I am damn proud of you. I remember you from your day 1. I think you are gonna make it my friend. It is a mind set. I quit with you today.
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83-...83!!?! Holy crap I have been quit and free from the nicotine slave-master for 83 days!?! Not sure why 83 seems so mind blowing to me this morning; 82 is only one less, and 81, 80, are both awesome too, but almost 3 months quit cold turkey!?! Hell I haven't been this surprised since day 7. I guess it's just the daily ritual of posting roll and whatever makes the days go by. Anyway, I am never going back, and I can't wait to see what #s will blow my mind in the future. Quit on!
nice job B-lo. I am damn proud of you. I remember you from your day 1. I think you are gonna make it my friend. It is a mind set. I quit with you today.
Great work B-lo. Always keep your head on a swivel. You are killing it man.
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83-...83!!?! Holy crap I have been quit and free from the nicotine slave-master for 83 days!?! Not sure why 83 seems so mind blowing to me this morning; 82 is only one less, and 81, 80, are both awesome too, but almost 3 months quit cold turkey!?! Hell I haven't been this surprised since day 7. I guess it's just the daily ritual of posting roll and whatever makes the days go by. Anyway, I am never going back, and I can't wait to see what #s will blow my mind in the future. Quit on!
nice job B-lo. I am damn proud of you. I remember you from your day 1. I think you are gonna make it my friend. It is a mind set. I quit with you today.
Great work B-lo. Always keep your head on a swivel. You are killing it man.
It gets even better. :D
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83-...83!!?! Holy crap I have been quit and free from the nicotine slave-master for 83 days!?! Not sure why 83 seems so mind blowing to me this morning; 82 is only one less, and 81, 80, are both awesome too, but almost 3 months quit cold turkey!?! Hell I haven't been this surprised since day 7. I guess it's just the daily ritual of posting roll and whatever makes the days go by. Anyway, I am never going back, and I can't wait to see what #s will blow my mind in the future. Quit on!
nice job B-lo. I am damn proud of you. I remember you from your day 1. I think you are gonna make it my friend. It is a mind set. I quit with you today.
Great work B-lo. Always keep your head on a swivel. You are killing it man.
It gets even better. :D
The days just seem to add up. Yes, it gets even better!
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83-...83!!?! Holy crap I have been quit and free from the nicotine slave-master for 83 days!?! Not sure why 83 seems so mind blowing to me this morning; 82 is only one less, and 81, 80, are both awesome too, but almost 3 months quit cold turkey!?! Hell I haven't been this surprised since day 7. I guess it's just the daily ritual of posting roll and whatever makes the days go by. Anyway, I am never going back, and I can't wait to see what #s will blow my mind in the future. Quit on!
nice job B-lo. I am damn proud of you. I remember you from your day 1. I think you are gonna make it my friend. It is a mind set. I quit with you today.
Great work B-lo. Always keep your head on a swivel. You are killing it man.
It gets even better. :D
The days just seem to add up. Yes, it gets even better!
B-lo,
You're the man. Thank you for showing me the way.
Keep your guard up.
M
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83-...83!!?! Holy crap I have been quit and free from the nicotine slave-master for 83 days!?! Not sure why 83 seems so mind blowing to me this morning; 82 is only one less, and 81, 80, are both awesome too, but almost 3 months quit cold turkey!?! Hell I haven't been this surprised since day 7. I guess it's just the daily ritual of posting roll and whatever makes the days go by. Anyway, I am never going back, and I can't wait to see what #s will blow my mind in the future. Quit on!
nice job B-lo. I am damn proud of you. I remember you from your day 1. I think you are gonna make it my friend. It is a mind set. I quit with you today.
Great work B-lo. Always keep your head on a swivel. You are killing it man.
It gets even better. :D
The days just seem to add up. Yes, it gets even better!
B-lo,
You're the man. Thank you for showing me the way.
Keep your guard up.
M
Atta Boy B-lo. I quit with you EDD you Quitter! Keep being and example for us noobs.
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86- So yesterday I had a bit of the suck. It wasn't a pervasive all day suck like I've had in the past, but it was micro sucks instead of craves. By suck in this case I mean a feeling like I was missing something or I was somehow incomplete, unsatisfied. It seemed to hit me when I did something that used to trigger a crave: after meals, when I had to take a dump, watching a show after the kids were in bed, etc.. I realized the feeling for what it was right from the start, but it kept coming at me all day. It was like the nic bitch was switching up her tactics on me again: craving the poison isn't working on me anymore so now she is trying to punish me instead of enticing me; playing out the analogy that the addiction to nicotine is like being married to some psycho assed manipulative skank bitch who makes you go through a horrible divorce, fights you tooth and nail for custody and the house, and after you are done makes your life miserable every chance she gets! At one point last night I had a little conversation with her (ok yes I was really just talking to myself but we all do it) and it went something like this: nic: "you will never replace me and you will miss me every day if you don't take me back"
me: "Oh shit you are so right! Let me run to the corner as fast as I can and buy a big can of poison so I can start actively killing myself again! I will be so happy being a slave again and spending all my disposable income on poison to kill myself that I will soon forget all the self loathing and shame I would feel for breaking my promise to myself and my KTC brothers and sisters. I bet that poison lip turd would make all my troubles go away, and I so miss spilling a spitter now and again..."
nic: "..."
me: "that's what I thought!"
I have been reading The Hobbit and The Lord of the Rings to my children, and I am now in a heavy Gollum section of the tale. Man if there aren't allot of commonalities... Yes my precious nice tobacconists gets us our fix... So now I am envisioning the nic bitch as a female version of Gollum with floppy deflated pancake tities and a dirty loin cloth.
I haven't had a nice rant on my intro in a while, but it still feels good to vent some b/s out now and again. The micro sucks were easy to get through, and I never had any serious threat to my quit yesterday, but man does the nic bitch piss me off! It's all head games now and even though the nic bitch is tricksy and changes her tactics from time to time she is still using a high school football playbook, and KTC has an NFL playbook for us to use. I am gonna kick nics ass today just like I did yesterday and still hate her enough and love kicking her ass so much that I will sign up to do it again tomorrow!
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now I am envisioning the nic bitch as a female version of Gollum with floppy deflated pancake tities and a dirty loin cloth.
Damn, if that visual image didn't just fuel my quit more today.
You just made my day with sick shit like that!
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86- So yesterday I had a bit of the suck. It wasn't a pervasive all day suck like I've had in the past, but it was micro sucks instead of craves. By suck in this case I mean a feeling like I was missing something or I was somehow incomplete, unsatisfied. It seemed to hit me when I did something that used to trigger a crave: after meals, when I had to take a dump, watching a show after the kids were in bed, etc.. I realized the feeling for what it was right from the start, but it kept coming at me all day. It was like the nic bitch was switching up her tactics on me again: craving the poison isn't working on me anymore so now she is trying to punish me instead of enticing me; playing out the analogy that the addiction to nicotine is like being married to some psycho assed manipulative skank bitch who makes you go through a horrible divorce, fights you tooth and nail for custody and the house, and after you are done makes your life miserable every chance she gets! At one point last night I had a little conversation with her (ok yes I was really just talking to myself but we all do it) and it went something like this: nic: "you will never replace me and you will miss me every day if you don't take me back"
me: "Oh shit you are so right! Let me run to the corner as fast as I can and buy a big can of poison so I can start actively killing myself again! I will be so happy being a slave again and spending all my disposable income on poison to kill myself that I will soon forget all the self loathing and shame I would feel for breaking my promise to myself and my KTC brothers and sisters. I bet that poison lip turd would make all my troubles go away, and I so miss spilling a spitter now and again..."
nic: "..."
me: "that's what I thought!"
I have been reading The Hobbit and The Lord of the Rings to my children, and I am now in a heavy Gollum section of the tale. Man if there aren't allot of commonalities... Yes my precious nice tobacconists gets us our fix... So now I am envisioning the nic bitch as a female version of Gollum with floppy deflated pancake tities and a dirty loin cloth.
I haven't had a nice rant on my intro in a while, but it still feels good to vent some b/s out now and again. The micro sucks were easy to get through, and I never had any serious threat to my quit yesterday, but man does the nic bitch piss me off! It's all head games now and even though the nic bitch is tricksy and changes her tactics from time to time she is still using a high school football playbook, and KTC has an NFL playbook for us to use. I am gonna kick nics ass today just like I did yesterday and still hate her enough and love kicking her ass so much that I will sign up to do it again tomorrow!
Holy Crap! I just posted about this earlier and hadn't read your intro. This Weed is a freakin terrorist makin peoples lives a living crap hole! Where is my damn Round UP?
BooYAH! I am signing up to kick her in the vadge again tomorrow too...Give me some more....Give me some more!
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86- So yesterday I had a bit of the suck. It wasn't a pervasive all day suck like I've had in the past, but it was micro sucks instead of craves. By suck in this case I mean a feeling like I was missing something or I was somehow incomplete, unsatisfied. It seemed to hit me when I did something that used to trigger a crave: after meals, when I had to take a dump, watching a show after the kids were in bed, etc.. I realized the feeling for what it was right from the start, but it kept coming at me all day. It was like the nic bitch was switching up her tactics on me again: craving the poison isn't working on me anymore so now she is trying to punish me instead of enticing me; playing out the analogy that the addiction to nicotine is like being married to some psycho assed manipulative skank bitch who makes you go through a horrible divorce, fights you tooth and nail for custody and the house, and after you are done makes your life miserable every chance she gets! At one point last night I had a little conversation with her (ok yes I was really just talking to myself but we all do it) and it went something like this: nic: "you will never replace me and you will miss me every day if you don't take me back"
me: "Oh shit you are so right! Let me run to the corner as fast as I can and buy a big can of poison so I can start actively killing myself again! I will be so happy being a slave again and spending all my disposable income on poison to kill myself that I will soon forget all the self loathing and shame I would feel for breaking my promise to myself and my KTC brothers and sisters. I bet that poison lip turd would make all my troubles go away, and I so miss spilling a spitter now and again..."
nic: "..."
me: "that's what I thought!"
I have been reading The Hobbit and The Lord of the Rings to my children, and I am now in a heavy Gollum section of the tale. Man if there aren't allot of commonalities... Yes my precious nice tobacconists gets us our fix... So now I am envisioning the nic bitch as a female version of Gollum with floppy deflated pancake tities and a dirty loin cloth.
I haven't had a nice rant on my intro in a while, but it still feels good to vent some b/s out now and again. The micro sucks were easy to get through, and I never had any serious threat to my quit yesterday, but man does the nic bitch piss me off! It's all head games now and even though the nic bitch is tricksy and changes her tactics from time to time she is still using a high school football playbook, and KTC has an NFL playbook for us to use. I am gonna kick nics ass today just like I did yesterday and still hate her enough and love kicking her ass so much that I will sign up to do it again tomorrow!
Holy Crap! I just posted about this earlier and hadn't read your intro. This Weed is a freakin terrorist makin peoples lives a living crap hole! Where is my damn Round UP?
BooYAH! I am signing up to kick her in the vadge again tomorrow too...Give me some more....Give me some more!
Good stuff there B-lo. Rant more often. It has truth and inspiration for the rest of us.
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88-So not sure if Smokeyg was commenting about my nic bitch rant or not when he recently posted that personifying our addiction is lame, but just so we are clear the way Gollum is similar to me is that he finds this magic ring (a can of dip leaves a nice ring in your jeans pocket) and gets totally addicted to it even to the exclusion of all other things. With me so far? So then Bilbo shows up and takes the ring (no one took my dip away, I did that, but hang in there), and Gollum is a hot wet mess without it. Hell it was making him into a hot wet mess: bulging out his eyes, making his hair fall out, turning him into a frog looking mutant, etc., just generally bad for him in every way, but without it he is raging (see the connections?)! Gollum is an addict hard core, and he is looking for his fix. So I am just a couple chapters into book 4 of the LOTR series (3 novels were broken up into books) which deals with Frodo, Sam, and Gollum. Gollum is tracking the ring because he cannot stop craving it, but Frodo forces Gollum to help him as he bears the ring and can command him. He also has a sword (ok just background not really analogous). Once Gollum is forced to promise (see I knew I had a point! Promise!) his original persona is freed and we get Sméagol! Gollum is suffering from M.P.D.; he has an addict persona (Gollum) and his pre addiction persona (Sméagol) that vie for control. In the story Gollum has been an addict for centuries and therefor Sméagol is even weaker than my pre dipping self, and he is a caver for sure, but he tries for a bit to fight off the whisperings of Gollum, only he doesn't have internet access, and quitting magical rings of power support groups don't exist. I have KTC and internet access thank God. So I am Sméagol and the nic bitch is Gollum, but we are the same person. Again, not sure if Smokeyg was referencing my nic bitch rant or not, but his post on his intro got me thinking that maybe my earlier rant was not clearly stating my thoughts.
As to the visual aide of the nic bitch as a bug eyed, pancake tittied, dirty loin cloth wearin', frog woman mutant looking female version of Gollum: what can I say? I like to have a clear mental image of what a vile disgusting thing I would be hooking up with if I ever cave. I can type out a dissertation longer than the affordable (cough... cough) health care (Gollum! Gollum Gollum!) act, but when I have a crave I need a concise mental image to snap up in my mind so I can beat it back. Logic and words are great when I am cruising along on my road of quit, but when it comes to a point where I an fighting a sudden hard crave I need a quick response of revultion and anger against that part of me that is craving dip. Besides, one of the reasons I read Smokegs' thread (other than the fact that he is a bad assed quit machine) is the fact that he is funny as can be, and I try to make myself laugh when I rant here. Lets face it anyone who has seen the movies will find a female version of Gollum revoltingly funny, and 'deflated pancake titties' makes me giggle...
God, I just proof read this, and I sound like a slightly touched in the head nerd boy... Oh well hope this helps some.
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88- So last night I was sick of salty seed and gum and candy, but my mouth needed to be busy. I suppose at this point the oral fixation habit is not going away anytime soon for me. I have a nice little vegetable and herb garden, and I have 2 huge containers with 5 varieties of mint growing. I took a big handful of fresh peppermint and a half handful of grapefruit mint and chewed the hell out of it. Talk about juicy spit! The bonus was I had minty fresh breath when I was done. I wish I didn't have an itch to scratch but I do from time to time, and that mint chaw made me happy last night.
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88- So last night I was sick of salty seed and gum and candy, but my mouth needed to be busy. I suppose at this point the oral fixation habit is not going away anytime soon for me. I have a nice little vegetable and herb garden, and I have 2 huge containers with 5 varieties of mint growing. I took a big handful of fresh peppermint and a half handful of grapefruit mint and chewed the hell out of it. Talk about juicy spit! The bonus was I had minty fresh breath when I was done. I wish I didn't have an itch to scratch but I do from time to time, and that mint chaw made me happy last night.
Matt, it's a good thing you don't have catnip growing in there, otherwise you might have been rubbing your ass on the walls and running around like an idiot.
QFQQ
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91-so I had some drama with my wife and kids this weekend. Long story short I was in a pissed off mood from the nonsense I dealt with from them yesterday not sure how much my mood was skewed by side effects of quitting or if it was the other way around and the nic bitch part of my mind saw an opening, but I had a shit weekend. My wifes' family is a couple of hours down the road and she often takes the kids to visit. Between the fact that we work opposite each other to minimize babysitting needs and our three dogs, I often do not accompany them (trying not to mention the fact that my wife didn't ask me to come this time and then gave me a guilt trip about not going 10 minutes before they left, and failing...). Logistics are a bitch. I have been mostly ok with the alone time, but the closest I have come to caving came when I had the house to myself; so I was not looking forward to being alone; especially in the pissed off shit mood I was in. I tried to keep myself busy with yard work and such, but I could feel the nic bitch clawing at me as I cut the lawn. WTF! I have cut the lawn all season nic free, and I thought the triggers where supposed to get weaker and break as we did things nic free... I have been cramming a wad of fresh mint in my gob the last few days to fight the oral fixation: I would chaw it like red man until I got it fine enough to fake dip it. I could get an hour of guilt free good tasting busy work for my mouth with this, but it wasn't working so far as kicking the nic bitch to the curb as I cut the lawn! Fuck this! I threw the mint out of my gob and give the nic bitch the bird! If I was ever to kill myself I would do anything but use nic again! I had ear buds in rocking loud enough to be heard over the mower so I am not sure how loud I was shouting as this was going on, but my neighbors might know I am a mad man now...
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91-so I had some drama with my wife and kids this weekend. Long story short I was in a pissed off mood from the nonsense I dealt with from them yesterday not sure how much my mood was skewed by side effects of quitting or if it was the other way around and the nic bitch part of my mind saw an opening, but I had a shit weekend. My wifes' family is a couple of hours down the road and she often takes the kids to visit. Between the fact that we work opposite each other to minimize babysitting needs and our three dogs, I often do not accompany them (trying not to mention the fact that my wife didn't ask me to come this time and then gave me a guilt trip about not going 10 minutes before they left, and failing...). Logistics are a bitch. I have been mostly ok with the alone time, but the closest I have come to caving came when I had the house to myself; so I was not looking forward to being alone; especially in the pissed off shit mood I was in. I tried to keep myself busy with yard work and such, but I could feel the nic bitch clawing at me as I cut the lawn. WTF! I have cut the lawn all season nic free, and I thought the triggers where supposed to get weaker and break as we did things nic free... I have been cramming a wad of fresh mint in my gob the last few days to fight the oral fixation: I would chaw it like red man until I got it fine enough to fake dip it. I could get an hour of guilt free good tasting busy work for my mouth with this, but it wasn't working so far as kicking the nic bitch to the curb as I cut the lawn! Fuck this! I threw the mint out of my gob and give the nic bitch the bird! If I was ever to kill myself I would do anything but use nic again! I had ear buds in rocking loud enough to be heard over the mower so I am not sure how loud I was shouting as this was going on, but my neighbors might know I am a mad man now...
Wow, congrats on fighting through it for a weekend Matt! Thanks for the heads up that even to almost 100 days in it can still come back around to ya. Sounds like a rough one but you made it through successfully! Awesome bro!
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91-so I had some drama with my wife and kids this weekend. Long story short I was in a pissed off mood from the nonsense I dealt with from them yesterday not sure how much my mood was skewed by side effects of quitting or if it was the other way around and the nic bitch part of my mind saw an opening, but I had a shit weekend. My wifes' family is a couple of hours down the road and she often takes the kids to visit. Between the fact that we work opposite each other to minimize babysitting needs and our three dogs, I often do not accompany them (trying not to mention the fact that my wife didn't ask me to come this time and then gave me a guilt trip about not going 10 minutes before they left, and failing...). Logistics are a bitch. I have been mostly ok with the alone time, but the closest I have come to caving came when I had the house to myself; so I was not looking forward to being alone; especially in the pissed off shit mood I was in. I tried to keep myself busy with yard work and such, but I could feel the nic bitch clawing at me as I cut the lawn. WTF! I have cut the lawn all season nic free, and I thought the triggers where supposed to get weaker and break as we did things nic free... I have been cramming a wad of fresh mint in my gob the last few days to fight the oral fixation: I would chaw it like red man until I got it fine enough to fake dip it. I could get an hour of guilt free good tasting busy work for my mouth with this, but it wasn't working so far as kicking the nic bitch to the curb as I cut the lawn! Fuck this! I threw the mint out of my gob and give the nic bitch the bird! If I was ever to kill myself I would do anything but use nic again! I had ear buds in rocking loud enough to be heard over the mower so I am not sure how loud I was shouting as this was going on, but my neighbors might know I am a mad man now...
Wow, congrats on fighting through it for a weekend Matt! Thanks for the heads up that even to almost 100 days in it can still come back around to ya. Sounds like a rough one but you made it through successfully! Awesome bro!
Way to tel Nic where she can shove that cat turd. Sounds like someone ahad some sand in the vadge. You know what you can do to fix that? Rinse with water. 'fireman'
'crackup'
Great job resisting brutha.. The fact is that you set yourself up for those craves bub and your wife helped. Anyway, it is over and you bet nic's ass. Good for yo bro.. Now go love on your wife! (If you know what I mean 'winker' )
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98- seems like my episode with the wad of fresh mint and the lawnmower cured me of the oral fixation thing. I haven't used seeds or even much bubble gum this past week. 100 days is right around the corner and it seems to have gotten here so fast. I know the first couple of weeks seemed to take forever, but there is good stuff waiting for us once we fight through... I just replied to the questionnaire from Jake and ERussell (thanks for conducting the train boys!) so they could write up my welcome to the HOF bit... Wow! I am so grateful that I found this site, and to all the bad ass quitters here who have helped me. Quit on.
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98- seems like my episode with the wad of fresh mint and the lawnmower cured me of the oral fixation thing. I haven't used seeds or even much bubble gum this past week. 100 days is right around the corner and it seems to have gotten here so fast. I know the first couple of weeks seemed to take forever, but there is good stuff waiting for us once we fight through... I just replied to the questionnaire from Jake and ERussell (thanks for conducting the train boys!) so they could write up my welcome to the HOF bit... Wow! I am so grateful that I found this site, and to all the bad ass quitters here who have helped me. Quit on.
Super proud of you man!
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98- seems like my episode with the wad of fresh mint and the lawnmower cured me of the oral fixation thing. I haven't used seeds or even much bubble gum this past week. 100 days is right around the corner and it seems to have gotten here so fast. I know the first couple of weeks seemed to take forever, but there is good stuff waiting for us once we fight through... I just replied to the questionnaire from Jake and ERussell (thanks for conducting the train boys!) so they could write up my welcome to the HOF bit... Wow! I am so grateful that I found this site, and to all the bad ass quitters here who have helped me. Quit on.
Super proud of you man!
Hell of a job b-lo. Soak it up man. Be proud. Remember it's just the beginning. Quit on brother.
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thats pretty sweet...im in week one, but all i can think about is what kind of mower do you have? I can relate from how retarded i am acting at work. someone will try to talk to me, and i literally feel like i am doing cornholio from beavis and butthead as we try to accomplish work stuff. i dont know, im drinking beer on my first weekend without dip, and its weird. i kinda hate to think of it, but i wonder if many dipheads turn into alkies when they quit?
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98- seems like my episode with the wad of fresh mint and the lawnmower cured me of the oral fixation thing. I haven't used seeds or even much bubble gum this past week. 100 days is right around the corner and it seems to have gotten here so fast. I know the first couple of weeks seemed to take forever, but there is good stuff waiting for us once we fight through... I just replied to the questionnaire from Jake and ERussell (thanks for conducting the train boys!) so they could write up my welcome to the HOF bit... Wow! I am so grateful that I found this site, and to all the bad ass quitters here who have helped me. Quit on.
Super proud of you man!
Hell of a job b-lo. Soak it up man. Be proud. Remember it's just the beginning. Quit on brother.
You've been a big help to me, B-lo. Congrats!
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98- seems like my episode with the wad of fresh mint and the lawnmower cured me of the oral fixation thing. I haven't used seeds or even much bubble gum this past week. 100 days is right around the corner and it seems to have gotten here so fast. I know the first couple of weeks seemed to take forever, but there is good stuff waiting for us once we fight through... I just replied to the questionnaire from Jake and ERussell (thanks for conducting the train boys!) so they could write up my welcome to the HOF bit... Wow! I am so grateful that I found this site, and to all the bad ass quitters here who have helped me. Quit on.
Super proud of you man!
Hell of a job b-lo. Soak it up man. Be proud. Remember it's just the beginning. Quit on brother.
You've been a big help to me, B-lo. Congrats!
Keep it up man you have pushed through some tough times nice job.
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Great work on getting to the 100 days!!
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'worship'
Yep! You are a BADASS!
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Nice Hondo Matt! Keep killing this quit bro!
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Very proud of you bro. You came, saw and kicked but. I looked through your intro, which I like to do sometimes,, just to see the change in people after 100. Bravo brother... If you haven't looked lately, take a look. Pure quitting going on with your intro. Great job.
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B-Lo - congrats on hitting the hall. I fully expect that you will be sticking around, posting daily and helping the rest of us quitters stay quit. Bask in the glory today but note that today is only today, tomorrow you can choose to be a quitter again.
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103- first post HOF craves yesterday. Told the craves to get lost and poof they' gone. They must've been lying in wait though 'cause I had another dip dream last night, but that one ended as soon as I realized I had a poison wad in. Spit that crud out in my dream and that was that. I know 100 days is a small percentage of the time I spent dipping, but holy crap does nicotine and the filthy rituals associated with getting a fix cling us! Just another reminder to not get complacent and to keep active on KTC. Quit on.
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103- first post HOF craves yesterday. Told the craves to get lost and poof they' gone. They must've been lying in wait though 'cause I had another dip dream last night, but that one ended as soon as I realized I had a poison wad in. Spit that crud out in my dream and that was that. I know 100 days is a small percentage of the time I spent dipping, but holy crap does nicotine and the filthy rituals associated with getting a fix cling us! Just another reminder to not get complacent and to keep active on KTC. Quit on.
Congrats on the hall b-lo. Great start man. I remember your first few days. You have come a long way bud. Keep up the great work.
If you remember this simple fact, you will not have a problem.
You are an addict, there is no such thing as just one. Not now on day 103, and not later on day 1003.
Never again for any reason. With firm resolve, I quit with you today.
Ryan
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111- Been a while since I posted here, been busy and I don't have a lot of time now. I have been hearing about e-cigs for a couple of years, but I haven't seen anyone using then until this week. I saw my first one a couple of days ago and then they were everywhere! I guess it is better than smoking since it doesn't have second hand smoke, but holy crap these people look like the biggest junkies around. Everyone seems to where their e-pipe like a freaking amulet and puff on that sucker like it was air. WTF weird. Glad I am quit.
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117- I have been feeling like crap this past week: allergies turned into a bad cold. One good thing has been a nice easy spell in my quit. I had backed off my activity on KTC last few weeks for a variety of reasons: little bit of Applejacks "sittin' on my porch enjoying the fruits of my labors", little bit of lots of real life eating up my time, but I realized that nice easy spell in my quit was a sign that I should be sharpening my tools for the next tough spot in my quit. I hope that tough spot never comes, but I know it will, and I will be ready to beat any cravings, fogs, or funks down! Also like being able to tell the new quitters how much better ones quit can get. Maybe I will get a HOF speech together soon...
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Congrats on 117! Looking forward to your HoF I should get in that forum read a few of those who have gone before me.
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117- I have been feeling like crap this past week: allergies turned into a bad cold. One good thing has been a nice easy spell in my quit. I had backed off my activity on KTC last few weeks for a variety of reasons: little bit of Applejacks "sittin' on my porch enjoying the fruits of my labors", little bit of lots of real life eating up my time, but I realized that nice easy spell in my quit was a sign that I should be sharpening my tools for the next tough spot in my quit. I hope that tough spot never comes, but I know it will, and I will be ready to beat any cravings, fogs, or funks down! Also like being able to tell the new quitters how much better ones quit can get. Maybe I will get a HOF speech together soon...
Congrats on 117, I hear you completely on the allergies. I have been suffering from that shit myself. Never had allergy problems before so I have been curious as to what is causing it now. Keep up the good work, own your quit and post up each day.
We all need to lean on one another every now and then, which means the other half needs to be ready to shore up when necessary.
Quit on Quitter!
QFQQ,
Pinched
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117- I have been feeling like crap this past week: allergies turned into a bad cold. One good thing has been a nice easy spell in my quit. I had backed off my activity on KTC last few weeks for a variety of reasons: little bit of Applejacks "sittin' on my porch enjoying the fruits of my labors", little bit of lots of real life eating up my time, but I realized that nice easy spell in my quit was a sign that I should be sharpening my tools for the next tough spot in my quit. I hope that tough spot never comes, but I know it will, and I will be ready to beat any cravings, fogs, or funks down! Also like being able to tell the new quitters how much better ones quit can get. Maybe I will get a HOF speech together soon...
Congrats on 117, I hear you completely on the allergies. I have been suffering from that shit myself. Never had allergy problems before so I have been curious as to what is causing it now. Keep up the good work, own your quit and post up each day.
We all need to lean on one another every now and then, which means the other half needs to be ready to shore up when necessary.
Quit on Quitter!
QFQQ,
Pinched
Proud of you B-lo. It has been great to watch you figure this thing out.
Once an addict always an addict. The decision to choose freedom must be made daily. Enjoy the easy days, you have earned them. But never forget day one. And never forget how badly you desired to become free. It is that knowledge, along with the tools you have acquired that will keep you quit.
Be vigilant, she lurks.
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117- I have been feeling like crap this past week: allergies turned into a bad cold. One good thing has been a nice easy spell in my quit. I had backed off my activity on KTC last few weeks for a variety of reasons: little bit of Applejacks "sittin' on my porch enjoying the fruits of my labors", little bit of lots of real life eating up my time, but I realized that nice easy spell in my quit was a sign that I should be sharpening my tools for the next tough spot in my quit. I hope that tough spot never comes, but I know it will, and I will be ready to beat any cravings, fogs, or funks down! Also like being able to tell the new quitters how much better ones quit can get. Maybe I will get a HOF speech together soon...
Congrats on 117, I hear you completely on the allergies. I have been suffering from that shit myself. Never had allergy problems before so I have been curious as to what is causing it now. Keep up the good work, own your quit and post up each day.
We all need to lean on one another every now and then, which means the other half needs to be ready to shore up when necessary.
Quit on Quitter!
QFQQ,
Pinched
Proud of you B-lo. It has been great to watch you figure this thing out.
Once an addict always an addict. The decision to choose freedom must be made daily. Enjoy the easy days, you have earned them. But never forget day one. And never forget how badly you desired to become free. It is that knowledge, along with the tools you have acquired that will keep you quit.
Be vigilant, she lurks.
Allergies are actually a great reminder of how wonderful it is to be free. I still remember days of driving down the highway at 75 or 80 mph in the morning during allergy season doing some sort of a damn juggling routine. Couldn't breathe thru my nose so I'd be spitting constantly. Terrified that I'd spit on my white shirt. Then the sneezing would start. Seal up the bottle and reach for the Kleenex! Bottle. Kleenex. Bottle. Insanity that we let this addiction turn us into robots.
So, Matt, take this for what it is worth... Enjoy your first nicotine free allergy season!
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117- I have been feeling like crap this past week: allergies turned into a bad cold. One good thing has been a nice easy spell in my quit. I had backed off my activity on KTC last few weeks for a variety of reasons: little bit of Applejacks "sittin' on my porch enjoying the fruits of my labors", little bit of lots of real life eating up my time, but I realized that nice easy spell in my quit was a sign that I should be sharpening my tools for the next tough spot in my quit. I hope that tough spot never comes, but I know it will, and I will be ready to beat any cravings, fogs, or funks down! Also like being able to tell the new quitters how much better ones quit can get. Maybe I will get a HOF speech together soon...
Congrats on 117, I hear you completely on the allergies. I have been suffering from that shit myself. Never had allergy problems before so I have been curious as to what is causing it now. Keep up the good work, own your quit and post up each day.
We all need to lean on one another every now and then, which means the other half needs to be ready to shore up when necessary.
Quit on Quitter!
QFQQ,
Pinched
Proud of you B-lo. It has been great to watch you figure this thing out.
Once an addict always an addict. The decision to choose freedom must be made daily. Enjoy the easy days, you have earned them. But never forget day one. And never forget how badly you desired to become free. It is that knowledge, along with the tools you have acquired that will keep you quit.
Be vigilant, she lurks.
Allergies are actually a great reminder of how wonderful it is to be free. I still remember days of driving down the highway at 75 or 80 mph in the morning during allergy season doing some sort of a damn juggling routine. Couldn't breathe thru my nose so I'd be spitting constantly. Terrified that I'd spit on my white shirt. Then the sneezing would start. Seal up the bottle and reach for the Kleenex! Bottle. Kleenex. Bottle. Insanity that we let this addiction turn us into robots.
So, Matt, take this for what it is worth... Enjoy your first nicotine free allergy season!
Sounds like another milestone to me. My worst day without the poison is better than my best day with it. Glad to be quit with you matt.
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119- Dip dream last night. I don't remember having a dip in the dream but I was trying to convince myself I could keep dipping and still be on KTC... That was when I realized I was having a bad dream. Sad to know I will always have a little part of me that will want to be a slave again, but when I think about how that part of me used to be the driving force in my life, and is now a little thing that only has an infrequent voice when I am sleeping, it is easier to deal with.
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119- Dip dream last night. I don't remember having a dip in the dream but I was trying to convince myself I could keep dipping and still be on KTC... That was when I realized I was having a bad dream. Sad to know I will always have a little part of me that will want to be a slave again, but when I think about how that part of me used to be the driving force in my life, and is now a little thing that only has an infrequent voice when I am sleeping, it is easier to deal with.
Don't be sad and resign that there will always be a part of you that wants to be a slave again.
You used for 20 year. You've been quit for 119 days, which is awesome but not enough to erase 7,300 days of using.
Look forward to the day where that little part of you WILL NOT want to be a slave again.
You can turn this shit around. You're on the right track, but you have to come at it with a better outlook.
You know you don't WANT to be a slave again, but the nic bitch sure wants you back so she fucks with you. Keep beating her bullshit back and you will see that life without nicotine is not only possible but can be "normal".
Quit on...
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119- Dip dream last night. I don't remember having a dip in the dream but I was trying to convince myself I could keep dipping and still be on KTC... That was when I realized I was having a bad dream. Sad to know I will always have a little part of me that will want to be a slave again, but when I think about how that part of me used to be the driving force in my life, and is now a little thing that only has an infrequent voice when I am sleeping, it is easier to deal with.
Don't be sad and resign that there will always be a part of you that wants to be a slave again.
You used for 20 year. You've been quit for 119 days, which is awesome but not enough to erase 7,300 days of using.
Look forward to the day where that little part of you WILL NOT want to be a slave again.
You can turn this shit around. You're on the right track, but you have to come at it with a better outlook.
You know you don't WANT to be a slave again, but the nic bitch sure wants you back so she fucks with you. Keep beating her bullshit back and you will see that life without nicotine is not only possible but can be "normal".
Quit on...
Matt, you'll be surprised at the difference another 100 will make. I bet diesel would say the same thing about another 100 after that. Let's continue on this journey my friend, we got nothing better to do.
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Happy quit birthday blo 'poledancer'
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126- Had another dip dream last night. Same as last couple: I don't remember buying a tin or bumming a dip, but first thing I know I am spitting out the brown slime, and thinking about how I can keep dipping without letting down the KTC gang. That's when I know I am having a dip dream, and I snap out of it. The really strange thing was that the can of poison I was dipping was labeled skoal shit flavor blend! Once I realized it was a dream the poison actually turned into a big wad of dog shit; I woke up with a little puke in my mouth... I will not do poop patrol after lunch anymore.
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126- Had another dip dream last night. Same as last couple: I don't remember buying a tin or bumming a dip, but first thing I know I am spitting out the brown slime, and thinking about how I can keep dipping without letting down the KTC gang. That's when I know I am having a dip dream, and I snap out of it. The really strange thing was that the can of poison I was dipping was labeled skoal shit flavor blend! Once I realized it was a dream the poison actually turned into a big wad of dog shit; I woke up with a little puke in my mouth... I will not do poop patrol after lunch anymore.
Awesome share brother!!!
No more poison for any reason!
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129- So I wake up this morning to my 2 beautiful daughters and my 3 labs pig piling me. The girls are all giggles and my dogs (esp. the 95 lb. black lab) are doing their best Dino from the Flintstones impression. Gonna be a great day to be quit. I get the dogs fed, girls breakfast, dressed, pack lunches, and out to the bus for school. The sun is shining and it's gonna be 75 today; it is a great day to be quit! I get back in the house and notice the smell of dog shit... One of the labs had stepped in a fresh patty and tracked dog shit all through my kitchen and house. Shit prints everywhere! So I had 12 paws to check, and of course the shitty paw is the last one I check. My black lab has dog shit all up in his hind paw so I spend 5 minutes de-shitting him before he can spread the love anymore than he already has. Next I need to mop the floor, and then hand finish the job. I get this all clean and head out back to survey the damage there. There is a large chunk of dog shit on the back steps and several shit-prints so I start in cleaning them, but I have to stop b/c now I have to shit! I am careful to not step in any shit myself so as to not track any new shit into my freshly cleaned house, I take a shit and then finish cleaning up the dog mess on the back steps and patio. Around this time my wife gets home from work and asks me how my morning is going. I reply that I have been cleaning up dog shit for the last 45 minutes, and the only break I took was b/c I needed to shit so my morning was shitty... No wonder I dip skoal dog shit blend in my dip dreams... Great day to be quit though.
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129- So I wake up this morning to my 2 beautiful daughters and my 3 labs pig piling me. The girls are all giggles and my dogs (esp. the 95 lb. black lab) are doing their best Dino from the Flintstones impression. Gonna be a great day to be quit. I get the dogs fed, girls breakfast, dressed, pack lunches, and out to the bus for school. The sun is shining and it's gonna be 75 today; it is a great day to be quit! I get back in the house and notice the smell of dog shit... One of the labs had stepped in a fresh patty and tracked dog shit all through my kitchen and house. Shit prints everywhere! So I had 12 paws to check, and of course the shitty paw is the last one I check. My black lab has dog shit all up in his hind paw so I spend 5 minutes de-shitting him before he can spread the love anymore than he already has. Next I need to mop the floor, and then hand finish the job. I get this all clean and head out back to survey the damage there. There is a large chunk of dog shit on the back steps and several shit-prints so I start in cleaning them, but I have to stop b/c now I have to shit! I am careful to not step in any shit myself so as to not track any new shit into my freshly cleaned house, I take a shit and then finish cleaning up the dog mess on the back steps and patio. Around this time my wife gets home from work and asks me how my morning is going. I reply that I have been cleaning up dog shit for the last 45 minutes, and the only break I took was b/c I needed to shit so my morning was shitty... No wonder I dip skoal dog shit blend in my dip dreams... Great day to be quit though.
Matt,
If you had prayed this morning it would have been holy shit. In lieu of that it sounds as though your morning was instead wholly shit, except for the fact that you are QUIT.
Just remember shit happens!
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129- So I wake up this morning to my 2 beautiful daughters and my 3 labs pig piling me. The girls are all giggles and my dogs (esp. the 95 lb. black lab) are doing their best Dino from the Flintstones impression. Gonna be a great day to be quit. I get the dogs fed, girls breakfast, dressed, pack lunches, and out to the bus for school. The sun is shining and it's gonna be 75 today; it is a great day to be quit! I get back in the house and notice the smell of dog shit... One of the labs had stepped in a fresh patty and tracked dog shit all through my kitchen and house. Shit prints everywhere! So I had 12 paws to check, and of course the shitty paw is the last one I check. My black lab has dog shit all up in his hind paw so I spend 5 minutes de-shitting him before he can spread the love anymore than he already has. Next I need to mop the floor, and then hand finish the job. I get this all clean and head out back to survey the damage there. There is a large chunk of dog shit on the back steps and several shit-prints so I start in cleaning them, but I have to stop b/c now I have to shit! I am careful to not step in any shit myself so as to not track any new shit into my freshly cleaned house, I take a shit and then finish cleaning up the dog mess on the back steps and patio. Around this time my wife gets home from work and asks me how my morning is going. I reply that I have been cleaning up dog shit for the last 45 minutes, and the only break I took was b/c I needed to shit so my morning was shitty... No wonder I dip skoal dog shit blend in my dip dreams... Great day to be quit though.
LOL sorry bro, I couldn't help but laugh at the thought of Skoal dog shit flavor after reading this story now. A shitty morning indeed, but a great day to be quit! :D
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133- So just an update on post HOF quit: First 3 weeks were smooth, no craves, no suck, and no fog. Last week or so has still been so easy compared to almost any day in the first 50 of my quit, but I have had dip dreams and a fair amount of craves. No major threats to my quit, but went from maybe 1 or 2 craves post HOF to 10-12 last few days. I know the roller coaster is not done with me yet, and I am still early in my quit relative to the years I spent with the poison, so I am not worried about the uptick in craves as I know they will remit at some point. I am wondering if anyone knows of any pattern for a return of the suck or fogs that might happen post 100 days? Always helps me to recognize a funk if I know I am at a point when funks are common.
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152- I am loving these post HOF days! My biggest struggle so far as my quit goes these days is guarding against complacency. Most days I only think of dip when I am posting roll (every damn day!) or on KTC, but craves have been few and far between. I still remember the first few days of my quit when it was a constant fight of will and determination vs my addiction, and how messed up I was for the first 2 months of quit. I will not go back to that! I could not imagine that the better days were so close. Any of you new bad asses in the making take heart b\c it truly gets so much better, and freedom is worth it. Push through and you will enjoy your freedom without the constant craves or frequent fogs and funks, and it will happen sooner that you think if you just fight through one more second/minute/hour/day. I am still early in my quit relative to how long I let my addiction rule me, but now I look forward to how good my quit will be after the second floor, third floor, etc.. I am still ODAAT first in my thinking, but NAFAR is a truth for me! Keep kicking ass.
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152- I am loving these post HOF days! My biggest struggle so far as my quit goes these days is guarding against complacency. Most days I only think of dip when I am posting roll (every damn day!) or on KTC, but craves have been few and far between. I still remember the first few days of my quit when it was a constant fight of will and determination vs my addiction, and how messed up I was for the first 2 months of quit. I will not go back to that! I could not imagine that the better days were so close. Any of you new bad asses in the making take heart b\c it truly gets so much better, and freedom is worth it. Push through and you will enjoy your freedom without the constant craves or frequent fogs and funks, and it will happen sooner that you think if you just fight through one more second/minute/hour/day. I am still early in my quit relative to how long I let my addiction rule me, but now I look forward to how good my quit will be after the second floor, third floor, etc.. I am still ODAAT first in my thinking, but NAFAR is a truth for me! Keep kicking ass.
I'm with you mat. We are living the free life now. How sweet it is. As your finding,, in between the one and two mark things seem to really get better.
I believe the door you've just went through is one of the most important. It's the one where your able to slam that door shut on the poison. All you have to do now is keep that door shut and never open it again. To even crack this door open again would be a mistake. A mistake that would lead to the door being fully opened again. Never again for any reason. Damn glad to be quit with you mat.
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154- just when I said my quit was easy I have a dip dream last night. Same sorry dream I have had b4, but it is a wake up call that I do not want to cave!
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154- just when I said my quit was easy I have a dip dream last night. Same sorry dream I have had b4, but it is a wake up call that I do not want to cave!
I'm with you bro... I have had a dip dream every night for about the past 40 days. I actually have embraced them. At first I was alarmed, but I found that it reminds me to post roll immediately when I roll out of bed. I will have another one tonight probably, but I don't care. Strengthens my resolve. Quit on b-lo.
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154- just when I said my quit was easy I have a dip dream last night. Same sorry dream I have had b4, but it is a wake up call that I do not want to cave!
I'm with you bro... I have had a dip dream every night for about the past 40 days. I actually have embraced them. At first I was alarmed, but I found that it reminds me to post roll immediately when I roll out of bed. I will have another one tonight probably, but I don't care. Strengthens my resolve. Quit on b-lo.
That is a lot of dip dreams Derk! I hate the negative feelings I get b4 I realize it's a dream, but those same feelings are what strengthens our resolve... Embracing the dip dream is the way to go for sure.
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171- I had one of those "wow I am how many days quit!?!" moments today. I have not used nicotine in over 5 months, 171 days! Usually I will marvel at the bad asses over a year into their quits and not be impressed by my day count, but sometimes I remember the way I thought when the poison was in my system and I was controlled by the weed. I could not imagine going a few hours without dip let alone a whole day! There was no way I could go without dip for a week. Well now I do not think that way, and I know if I could go without nic that first day, then I could do it the second day. If I could be quit for the first 100 days, then I can stay quit for the second floor. The first 100 days seemed to go by fast, but the last 71 days have gone by even faster, and, with the exception of a few tough days, each day is easier to be quit than the last. Yes I still have craves; sometimes bad ones, but I have been quit for 171 days, and I know I will make it to 172. Keep +1ing people. Post roll and promise not to use today, and then keep your word. Simple, and though hard as can be at first, it can get easy. Quit on!
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171- I had one of those "wow I am how many days quit!?!" moments today. I have not used nicotine in over 5 months, 171 days! Usually I will marvel at the bad asses over a year into their quits and not be impressed by my day count, but sometimes I remember the way I thought when the poison was in my system and I was controlled by the weed. I could not imagine going a few hours without dip let alone a whole day! There was no way I could go without dip for a week. Well now I do not think that way, and I know if I could go without nic that first day, then I could do it the second day. If I could be quit for the first 100 days, then I can stay quit for the second floor. The first 100 days seemed to go by fast, but the last 71 days have gone by even faster, and, with the exception of a few tough days, each day is easier to be quit than the last. Yes I still have craves; sometimes bad ones, but I have been quit for 171 days, and I know I will make it to 172. Keep +1ing people. Post roll and promise not to use today, and then keep your word. Simple, and though hard as can be at first, it can get easy. Quit on!
'clap'
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171- I had one of those "wow I am how many days quit!?!" moments today. I have not used nicotine in over 5 months, 171 days! Usually I will marvel at the bad asses over a year into their quits and not be impressed by my day count, but sometimes I remember the way I thought when the poison was in my system and I was controlled by the weed. I could not imagine going a few hours without dip let alone a whole day! There was no way I could go without dip for a week. Well now I do not think that way, and I know if I could go without nic that first day, then I could do it the second day. If I could be quit for the first 100 days, then I can stay quit for the second floor. The first 100 days seemed to go by fast, but the last 71 days have gone by even faster, and, with the exception of a few tough days, each day is easier to be quit than the last. Yes I still have craves; sometimes bad ones, but I have been quit for 171 days, and I know I will make it to 172. Keep +1ing people. Post roll and promise not to use today, and then keep your word. Simple, and though hard as can be at first, it can get easy. Quit on!
'clap'
Good stuff B-lo. Keep it up man.
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175- My good friend who recently started dipping again after a 10 year stoppage was in town this past weekend. I felt sorry for him as I watched him dip. I asked him why he started again, and he said he had stopped dipping b\c of his soon to be ex wife, and he started up again because of their split. The lesson here is to quit for yourself. Quit for the right reasons and stay strong.
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175- My good friend who recently started dipping again after a 10 year stoppage was in town this past weekend. I felt sorry for him as I watched him dip. I asked him why he started again, and he said he had stopped dipping b\c of his soon to be ex wife, and he started up again because of their split. The lesson here is to quit for yourself. Quit for the right reasons and stay strong.
Hey B,
You hit the nail on the head!!
Doing it for the right person/reasons.
Sounds selfish and all, but I think we were the worst kind of selfish asshole addicts to nicotine when we dipped and hurt ourselves and everyone who cared for us.
Cheers!
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179-I have not been without nicotine in my system for this long (closing in on 6 months) since before I got hooked! 20+ years since I have been this free! Thank you KTC.
On a side note, I have had a bit of a recurrence of "the suck". Weird. I know I am not done with the rollercoaster, but I will take 2-3 rough days out of 70+ easy quitting days. Besides the level of suck is nothing like it was in the beginning.
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181- O.k. fellow nic addicts, it seems like post HOF (day 100) there is a higher risk of caveing, but if you get past that it is likely you will have smooth sailing for a nice stretch (day100-170 for me). Beware days 170-???. My quit got tougher again with more frequent and stronger craves, some suck, and some funk. One of my HOF class quit brothers caved, and then caved again, and he was right near my day count so I can only assume his quit went sideways right around day 170 too. It is said often enough here to not get complacent, but what does that mean? How dose one fight complacency? Keep your tools sharp, and own your quit every day. Keep doing what has gotten you through the hellish early days of quit. Post roll, keep close to your KTC friends. Stay involved on the intro threads. Jump on live chat. Practice on the easy days so you are ready for the hard days. I had a bad crave last night, but my response to that is still automatic b/c I worked to make it and keep it that way. I ended up having a dip dream last night, and it was the first dip dream where I actually recall making the conscious decision to pack poison into my gob. I want to fucking puke just thinking about it! I remember my dream self rationalizing it and even saying I could still keep +1ing on KTC... The empty feeling from the suck won't go away if I cave it will just get worse, and I will have all the guilt and shame of caving to go along with it. I do not want to poison myself anymore, and I do not want to be a slave to a weed again, and I definitely do not want to give one red cent to the drug pushers at UST. Enjoy the "easy" quit days you've earned them, but you better be working out your QLF skills at the same time b\c that little part of your mind that is the nic bitch, your addiction, will be waiting for it's chance to get a fix again... God I fucking hate the poison, hate it!
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181- O.k. fellow nic addicts, it seems like post HOF (day 100) there is a higher risk of caveing, but if you get past that it is likely you will have smooth sailing for a nice stretch (day100-170 for me). Beware days 170-???. My quit got tougher again with more frequent and stronger craves, some suck, and some funk. One of my HOF class quit brothers caved, and then caved again, and he was right near my day count so I can only assume his quit went sideways right around day 170 too. It is said often enough here to not get complacent, but what does that mean? How dose one fight complacency? Keep your tools sharp, and own your quit every day. Keep doing what has gotten you through the hellish early days of quit. Post roll, keep close to your KTC friends. Stay involved on the intro threads. Jump on live chat. Practice on the easy days so you are ready for the hard days. I had a bad crave last night, but my response to that is still automatic b/c I worked to make it and keep it that way. I ended up having a dip dream last night, and it was the first dip dream where I actually recall making the conscious decision to pack poison into my gob. I want to fucking puke just thinking about it! I remember my dream self rationalizing it and even saying I could still keep +1ing on KTC... The empty feeling from the suck won't go away if I cave it will just get worse, and I will have all the guilt and shame of caving to go along with it. I do not want to poison myself anymore, and I do not want to be a slave to a weed again, and I definitely do not want to give one red cent to the drug pushers at UST. Enjoy the "easy" quit days you've earned them, but you better be working out your QLF skills at the same time b\c that little part of your mind that is the nic bitch, your addiction, will be waiting for it's chance to get a fix again... God I fucking hate the poison, hate it!
Matt, the reason you have not caved is because you don't want too! You really think that any of these cavers cant control themselves? HELL NO, they are making a choice, they just make the wrong choice.
You have got everything correct. You have your battle buddies. You have the will and the desire to stay quit, most important, you're working your quit. Posting roll, helping others. being a part of the brotherhood.
You my friend have drank the kool-aide you are swimming in the poool of quit badassery. For one reason alone, you WANT TO. Nothing else, you have made your quit the primary goal, and you do it every damn day.
I quit with you.
KK
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187- Had a great, nicotine free Thanksgiving Thursday. I had to make a 2+ hour drive alone in the morning, and driving esp. alone used to be prime dip time. I would have had a face full of poison for almost the whole trip. Last time I did a long drive I had gum, seeds, atomic fireballs, even some fake dip, but this time I had nothing but good tunes and I was fine. Nice to know that even though I will always be an addict, some triggers can be crushed to nothing.
Still having some strong cravings every day, and still feeling a bit of the suck, but I have embraced it again so that is good. I had forgotten how to embrace the suck. There was no empty feeling about not being able to dip from around day 100-170ish, and when it came back it took me by surprise. I had forgotten how powerful the suck could be! Rational thought could not stop the suck, and I know caving would only make the empty feeling worse so what was I to do? Embrace the suck! The suck means I am still winning. The suck means I am quit! Also feeling suck about knowing I will not be capping off dinner, a movie, a drive, a day or night, etc. with a dip is silly. I am now free to enjoy the moment! I don't have to worry about getting my fix so much that I miss the right now anymore. The suck can suck it! That big plate of turkey with all the fixins was as good as it was getting, and I sure wasn't going to miss enjoying it to feel sad that I was no longer poisoning myself...
A lot of cavers last few weeks got me upset a bit, but seems like they might be retreads so that is not half bad, and I had a few stoppages in my life so who am I to judge. It was good to read some posts from people who have not caved to get my spirits up after reading about all the caving: can't dwell on the negative! OK that about sums up my week of quit. Looking forward to the second floor; I will be signing up for 300 for sure.
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187- Had a great, nicotine free Thanksgiving Thursday. I had to make a 2+ hour drive alone in the morning, and driving esp. alone used to be prime dip time. I would have had a face full of poison for almost the whole trip. Last time I did a long drive I had gum, seeds, atomic fireballs, even some fake dip, but this time I had nothing but good tunes and I was fine. Nice to know that even though I will always be an addict, some triggers can be crushed to nothing.
Still having some strong cravings every day, and still feeling a bit of the suck, but I have embraced it again so that is good. I had forgotten how to embrace the suck. There was no empty feeling about not being able to dip from around day 100-170ish, and when it came back it took me by surprise. I had forgotten how powerful the suck could be! Rational thought could not stop the suck, and I know caving would only make the empty feeling worse so what was I to do? Embrace the suck! The suck means I am still winning. The suck means I am quit! Also feeling suck about knowing I will not be capping off dinner, a movie, a drive, a day or night, etc. with a dip is silly. I am now free to enjoy the moment! I don't have to worry about getting my fix so much that I miss the right now anymore. The suck can suck it! That big plate of turkey with all the fixins was as good as it was getting, and I sure wasn't going to miss enjoying it to feel sad that I was no longer poisoning myself...
A lot of cavers last few weeks got me upset a bit, but seems like they might be retreads so that is not half bad, and I had a few stoppages in my life so who am I to judge. It was good to read some posts from people who have not caved to get my spirits up after reading about all the caving: can't dwell on the negative! OK that about sums up my week of quit. Looking forward to the second floor; I will be signing up for 300 for sure.
Great job mat. For every caver there is several that haven't caved that you have helped. Keep up the good work. Posts like this is what it's all about.
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Matt,
You rock brother....what a great attitude and congrats on stomping the nicbitch's guts out. Thanks for the truth telling as well, I will keep your thoughts on how the SUCK still comes even after months of quit. I will use that knowledge to be prepared to kick her in the teeth. Keep up the good work!
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194- With all the caving, turkey, and football, I forgot to chronicle my trip to the dentist last week. I had a dentist appt. on my day 1. I had made up my mind to quit and had my last nicotine the night before the appointment. My gums hurt all the time, and were receding; my lips were white and cut to shit. I was in pain with or without a dip in, but it was getting so bad I could not keep a dip in long enough to get my fix... The day 1 dentist appt. was messy. I was bleeding like a stuck pig. Tissue change, tissue loss, holy crap you have some tenacious plaque... These were the things I heard as I had my teeth cleaned. The hygienist started to mention how bad dipping was for me and I told her I was quit. She asked me for how long, and I told her 12 hours... Then she started telling me how it often takes nicotine addicts several attempts to quit, and to not get discouraged if I couldn't do it at that time. I told her I had already tried to quit several times, and that I was ready to be quit.
Six months latter and it was time for the dentist again. I was grinning like a fool as the same hygienist got me set for my cleaning. I was so proud and happy to be able to tell her I was quit and hadn't been dipping since before I saw her last. My gums still bled a little, but not like before. Lips and gums have healed significantly, and I had no signs of mouth cancer. My mouth wasn't raw and sore for 3 days like it used to be after a cleaning. I loved the way I was feeling walking out with my appt. card for my next check-up; can't wait for the next appt. as that will be right around 1 year of freedom for me.
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194- With all the caving, turkey, and football, I forgot to chronicle my trip to the dentist last week. I had a dentist appt. on my day 1. I had made up my mind to quit and had my last nicotine the night before the appointment. My gums hurt all the time, and were receding; my lips were white and cut to shit. I was in pain with or without a dip in, but it was getting so bad I could not keep a dip in long enough to get my fix... The day 1 dentist appt. was messy. I was bleeding like a stuck pig. Tissue change, tissue loss, holy crap you have some tenacious plaque... These were the things I heard as I had my teeth cleaned. The hygienist started to mention how bad dipping was for me and I told her I was quit. She asked me for how long, and I told her 12 hours... Then she started telling me how it often takes nicotine addicts several attempts to quit, and to not get discouraged if I couldn't do it at that time. I told her I had already tried to quit several times, and that I was ready to be quit.
Six months latter and it was time for the dentist again. I was grinning like a fool as the same hygienist got me set for my cleaning. I was so proud and happy to be able to tell her I was quit and hadn't been dipping since before I saw her last. My gums still bled a little, but not like before. Lips and gums have healed significantly, and I had no signs of mouth cancer. My mouth wasn't raw and sore for 3 days like it used to be after a cleaning. I loved the way I was feeling walking out with my appt. card for my next check-up; can't wait for the next appt. as that will be right around 1 year of freedom for me.
That is so cool! It really helps me to read the vets posts to realize all the great things us newbies have to look forward to. Thank you!
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197- Thought I was going to have to put my black lab down yesterday, but it will most likely be soon. Caving sure would not have helped any so I stayed quit. Had a dip dream last night though; that let me sample how I would have felt if I had caved... Like a looser.
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197- Thought I was going to have to put my black lab down yesterday, but it will most likely be soon. Caving sure would not have helped any so I stayed quit. Had a dip dream last night though; that let me sample how I would have felt if I had caved... Like a looser.
I am quitting with all day brother! Nicotine won't help you or your black lab and it is good to see that you know that. Keep winning every damn day!
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197- Thought I was going to have to put my black lab down yesterday, but it will most likely be soon. Caving sure would not have helped any so I stayed quit. Had a dip dream last night though; that let me sample how I would have felt if I had caved... Like a looser.
I am quitting with all day brother! Nicotine won't help you or your black lab and it is good to see that you know that. Keep winning every damn day!
And at 197 days you are not a loser, keep ahold of the balls of your quit and know that no matter what that lab will always be a part of your life and no one can take that away. Just like no one can take your quit away from you.
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197- Thought I was going to have to put my black lab down yesterday, but it will most likely be soon. Caving sure would not have helped any so I stayed quit. Had a dip dream last night though; that let me sample how I would have felt if I had caved... Like a looser.
I am quitting with all day brother! Nicotine won't help you or your black lab and it is good to see that you know that. Keep winning every damn day!
And at 197 days you are not a loser, keep ahold of the balls of your quit and know that no matter what that lab will always be a part of your life and no one can take that away. Just like no one can take your quit away from you.
Thanks for continuing to be a winner, and for sharing your struggle. My quit is stronger because you have the balls not to cave and the heart to help others.
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197- Thought I was going to have to put my black lab down yesterday, but it will most likely be soon. Caving sure would not have helped any so I stayed quit. Had a dip dream last night though; that let me sample how I would have felt if I had caved... Like a looser.
Hey B-lo. I feel for you right now, I had to do this for a greyhound several years ago. My thoughts will be with you. Remember your pal and not the dip. It won't help, believe me.
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197- Thought I was going to have to put my black lab down yesterday, but it will most likely be soon. Caving sure would not have helped any so I stayed quit. Had a dip dream last night though; that let me sample how I would have felt if I had caved... Like a looser.
I am quitting with all day brother! Nicotine won't help you or your black lab and it is good to see that you know that. Keep winning every damn day!
And at 197 days you are not a loser, keep ahold of the balls of your quit and know that no matter what that lab will always be a part of your life and no one can take that away. Just like no one can take your quit away from you.
Thanks for continuing to be a winner, and for sharing your struggle. My quit is stronger because you have the balls not to cave and the heart to help others.
As a fellow WNY resident, dog owner, and quitter, please accept my deepest sympathy. There are a lot of folks whose death i would not shed a tear over, but when it comes to my dog...heartbreak.
You might remember a news story here in Buffalo about 6-7 years back.
A twenty-odd year old guy was riding his horse with his then girlfriend - a nurse. They had a dog with them. They were up above a horse farm maybe a 1/4 mile off the road. Up at the crest of the lane way was a small pond that was used to pump water for the horse barn below. That pump hadn't been used in years but nobody ever bothered to turn the circuit off in the breaker box. I, and everybody else who rode in the area went by the pond and stopped to let the horses drink and the dogs swim. Well, finally that pump shorted out.
On that hot August day into the pond went the dog and he immediately seized/convulsed. The fellow on the horse, not understanding what had happened to the dog, went in the water to pull the dog out and suffered the same paralyzing fate. The girlfriend/nurse finally got the idea and ran her horse back the house for help. What followed is a testament to science and medicine.
The guy was helicoptered to the hospital and had his core temp reduced to 92 degrees. His heart was stopped for over 20 minutes. Remember here, he was being electrocuted for the entire time his body was in the water. So the ER staff cooled him with ice as fast as possible to prevent brain damage. They restarted his heart as the helicopter landed. He was in a coma for 2-3 days. When he came out of the coma he was borderline retarded. The dog, of course, died there, cold and alone in the water. If the girl had went in the water after them...yeah... but she didnt.
That guy was my brother in law and best friend.
That dog was my dog and my best friend.
Here is where this ties into quitting and such. My brother in law made a crazy full recovery. Two weeks later we had a beer together with no after affects from the incident. You know what we also had? We had our tins and faces full of dip. Think about this, not just you B-LO but everybody else who may read this.
THIS IS AS CLOSE TO DYING AS IT GETS. THIS WAS, AND STILL IS AT THE EDGE OF MEDICAL PROCEDURES. WE CELEBRATED SURVIVAL BY SLOWLY KILLING OURSELVES. HOW FUCKED UP IS THAT.
STAY QUIT.
-Grizzfall
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197- Thought I was going to have to put my black lab down yesterday, but it will most likely be soon. Caving sure would not have helped any so I stayed quit. Had a dip dream last night though; that let me sample how I would have felt if I had caved... Like a looser.
I am quitting with all day brother! Nicotine won't help you or your black lab and it is good to see that you know that. Keep winning every damn day!
And at 197 days you are not a loser, keep ahold of the balls of your quit and know that no matter what that lab will always be a part of your life and no one can take that away. Just like no one can take your quit away from you.
Thanks for continuing to be a winner, and for sharing your struggle. My quit is stronger because you have the balls not to cave and the heart to help others.
As a fellow WNY resident, dog owner, and quitter, please accept my deepest sympathy. There are a lot of folks whose death i would not shed a tear over, but when it comes to my dog...heartbreak.
You might remember a news story here in Buffalo about 6-7 years back.
A twenty-odd year old guy was riding his horse with his then girlfriend - a nurse. They had a dog with them. They were up above a horse farm maybe a 1/4 mile off the road. Up at the crest of the lane way was a small pond that was used to pump water for the horse barn below. That pump hadn't been used in years but nobody ever bothered to turn the circuit off in the breaker box. I, and everybody else who rode in the area went by the pond and stopped to let the horses drink and the dogs swim. Well, finally that pump shorted out.
On that hot August day into the pond went the dog and he immediately seized/convulsed. The fellow on the horse, not understanding what had happened to the dog, went in the water to pull the dog out and suffered the same paralyzing fate. The girlfriend/nurse finally got the idea and ran her horse back the house for help. What followed is a testament to science and medicine.
The guy was helicoptered to the hospital and had his core temp reduced to 92 degrees. His heart was stopped for over 20 minutes. Remember here, he was being electrocuted for the entire time his body was in the water. So the ER staff cooled him with ice as fast as possible to prevent brain damage. They restarted his heart as the helicopter landed. He was in a coma for 2-3 days. When he came out of the coma he was borderline retarded. The dog, of course, died there, cold and alone in the water. If the girl had went in the water after them...yeah... but she didnt.
That guy was my brother in law and best friend.
That dog was my dog and my best friend.
Here is where this ties into quitting and such. My brother in law made a crazy full recovery. Two weeks later we had a beer together with no after affects from the incident. You know what we also had? We had our tins and faces full of dip. Think about this, not just you B-LO but everybody else who may read this.
THIS IS AS CLOSE TO DYING AS IT GETS. THIS WAS, AND STILL IS AT THE EDGE OF MEDICAL PROCEDURES. WE CELEBRATED SURVIVAL BY SLOWLY KILLING OURSELVES. HOW FUCKED UP IS THAT.
STAY QUIT.
-Grizzfall
That just gave me some serious QUIT WOOD
Today I QUIT LIKE FUCK because of quitters like you Grizz and B-Lo
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197- Thought I was going to have to put my black lab down yesterday, but it will most likely be soon. Caving sure would not have helped any so I stayed quit. Had a dip dream last night though; that let me sample how I would have felt if I had caved... Like a looser.
I am quitting with all day brother! Nicotine won't help you or your black lab and it is good to see that you know that. Keep winning every damn day!
And at 197 days you are not a loser, keep ahold of the balls of your quit and know that no matter what that lab will always be a part of your life and no one can take that away. Just like no one can take your quit away from you.
Thanks for continuing to be a winner, and for sharing your struggle. My quit is stronger because you have the balls not to cave and the heart to help others.
As a fellow WNY resident, dog owner, and quitter, please accept my deepest sympathy. There are a lot of folks whose death i would not shed a tear over, but when it comes to my dog...heartbreak.
You might remember a news story here in Buffalo about 6-7 years back.
A twenty-odd year old guy was riding his horse with his then girlfriend - a nurse. They had a dog with them. They were up above a horse farm maybe a 1/4 mile off the road. Up at the crest of the lane way was a small pond that was used to pump water for the horse barn below. That pump hadn't been used in years but nobody ever bothered to turn the circuit off in the breaker box. I, and everybody else who rode in the area went by the pond and stopped to let the horses drink and the dogs swim. Well, finally that pump shorted out.
On that hot August day into the pond went the dog and he immediately seized/convulsed. The fellow on the horse, not understanding what had happened to the dog, went in the water to pull the dog out and suffered the same paralyzing fate. The girlfriend/nurse finally got the idea and ran her horse back the house for help. What followed is a testament to science and medicine.
The guy was helicoptered to the hospital and had his core temp reduced to 92 degrees. His heart was stopped for over 20 minutes. Remember here, he was being electrocuted for the entire time his body was in the water. So the ER staff cooled him with ice as fast as possible to prevent brain damage. They restarted his heart as the helicopter landed. He was in a coma for 2-3 days. When he came out of the coma he was borderline retarded. The dog, of course, died there, cold and alone in the water. If the girl had went in the water after them...yeah... but she didnt.
That guy was my brother in law and best friend.
That dog was my dog and my best friend.
Here is where this ties into quitting and such. My brother in law made a crazy full recovery. Two weeks later we had a beer together with no after affects from the incident. You know what we also had? We had our tins and faces full of dip. Think about this, not just you B-LO but everybody else who may read this.
THIS IS AS CLOSE TO DYING AS IT GETS. THIS WAS, AND STILL IS AT THE EDGE OF MEDICAL PROCEDURES. WE CELEBRATED SURVIVAL BY SLOWLY KILLING OURSELVES. HOW FUCKED UP IS THAT.
STAY QUIT.
-Grizzfall
That just gave me some serious QUIT WOOD
Today I QUIT LIKE FUCK because of quitters like you Grizz and B-Lo
Grizz that is some wild stuff, glad your Brother in law recovered, and sorry about your dog. Also glad you are quit. Thanks for all the replies. So far Guinness (my black lab) is doing ok, and I hope he will recover. Either way I will be quit today.
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200 days quit. You are a badass quitter. I'll see you in September EDD.
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200 days quit. You are a badass quitter. I'll see you in September EDD.
Indeed kudos Matt! I am glad to quit with you every day
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200 days quit. You are a badass quitter. I'll see you in September EDD.
Indeed kudos Matt! I am glad to quit with you every day
2nd Floor!
See you tomorrow!!
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200 days quit. You are a badass quitter. I'll see you in September EDD.
Indeed kudos Matt! I am glad to quit with you every day
2nd Floor!
See you tomorrow!!
Congrats on this milestone bro! Quit on!
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201- quit. Thanks for the support KTC I would still be a slave without it.
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201- quit. Thanks for the support KTC I would still be a slave without it.
Congrats on 2nd floor B-lo. Those days sure do pile up fast. I remember when you started. Glad you are in it for the long haul. Life is so much better without the poison.
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B-Lo,
How is guinness doing? Im sorry for that added stress, but dude, you are 200+ deep and have resiliency. NO life trauma is worth a tin. My best regards on this snowed in monday.
-Grizzfall
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B-Lo,
How is guinness doing? Im sorry for that added stress, but dude, you are 200+ deep and have resiliency. NO life trauma is worth a tin. My best regards on this snowed in monday.
-Grizzfall
Guinness is good! My wife was overdoseing him with liquid glucosamine, and since we stopped that he has bounced back. I will be quit even when the time comes though. I need a freakin snowblower, or I need to record myself shoveling and sell it as the 3XS120 workout series. Shovel 3 times a day for only 120 minutes each and you will be in great shape eventually...
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205- I was hoping hitting the second floor might trigger a few weeks of "easy quit" like hitting 100 days did... Not so much. Ever since day 170+ my quit has gotten back to being a fight. I sat on my porch from 90-100 until 170 or so and enjoyed my quit. I junked the oral fixation nonsense, and other that posting roll I hardly thought about the poison. Then the caves started... Several of my peers caved, and more have just stopped being active. Around this time "the suck" came back into my quit big time, and it has been like the early days level of push-back from the nic bitch (my addiction) most days. I have kept my tools sharp thank God, and that has made rising to the fight easier for me. I have been alternating from craves to "suck" most of the last week. I get a crave (stronger than the average crave I get) and beat it down (I will not break my promise, I will not be a slave again, I will not give UST one more dime!), but the crave is followed by the irrational "suck" (empty feeling like I am missing out on something by not poisoning myself with tobacco). So here I am on KTC for hours at a time again, and thank God for that. I will not cave ever while I am engaged on KTC. Hope the easy quit days come again soon, but I will Quit Like Fuck Every Damn Day until they do. Piss off Nicotine I don't need you and never did. NAFAR nic bitch! I will not lose my will to fight today!
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205- I was hoping hitting the second floor might trigger a few weeks of "easy quit" like hitting 100 days did... Not so much. Ever since day 170+ my quit has gotten back to being a fight. I sat on my porch from 90-100 until 170 or so and enjoyed my quit. I junked the oral fixation nonsense, and other that posting roll I hardly thought about the poison. Then the caves started... Several of my peers caved, and more have just stopped being active. Around this time "the suck" came back into my quit big time, and it has been like the early days level of push-back from the nic bitch (my addiction) most days. I have kept my tools sharp thank God, and that has made rising to the fight easier for me. I have been alternating from craves to "suck" most of the last week. I get a crave (stronger than the average crave I get) and beat it down (I will not break my promise, I will not be a slave again, I will not give UST one more dime!), but the crave is followed by the irrational "suck" (empty feeling like I am missing out on something by not poisoning myself with tobacco). So here I am on KTC for hours at a time again, and thank God for that. I will not cave ever while I am engaged on KTC. Hope the easy quit days come again soon, but I will Quit Like Fuck Every Damn Day until they do. Piss off Nicotine I don't need you and never did. NAFAR nic bitch! I will not lose my will to fight today!
Matt,
You my friend are awesome! Let me just say that you are missing something and that is that crutch or nicotine that you carried around for years. I too have struggled from time to time, and sure that little drug will continue to try and lure us back in.
So I welcome here to taste the toe of my boot. Fuck Tobacco, neither of is need it today. I made my promise as did you.
Pinched
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205- I was hoping hitting the second floor might trigger a few weeks of "easy quit" like hitting 100 days did... Not so much. Ever since day 170+ my quit has gotten back to being a fight. I sat on my porch from 90-100 until 170 or so and enjoyed my quit. I junked the oral fixation nonsense, and other that posting roll I hardly thought about the poison. Then the caves started... Several of my peers caved, and more have just stopped being active. Around this time "the suck" came back into my quit big time, and it has been like the early days level of push-back from the nic bitch (my addiction) most days. I have kept my tools sharp thank God, and that has made rising to the fight easier for me. I have been alternating from craves to "suck" most of the last week. I get a crave (stronger than the average crave I get) and beat it down (I will not break my promise, I will not be a slave again, I will not give UST one more dime!), but the crave is followed by the irrational "suck" (empty feeling like I am missing out on something by not poisoning myself with tobacco). So here I am on KTC for hours at a time again, and thank God for that. I will not cave ever while I am engaged on KTC. Hope the easy quit days come again soon, but I will Quit Like Fuck Every Damn Day until they do. Piss off Nicotine I don't need you and never did. NAFAR nic bitch! I will not lose my will to fight today!
I get it. This shit gets repetitive and monotonous. I've felt the same way.
It's like you are waiting for an award, some kind of tangible "pay off" for all this hard work and struggle.
But there is none. Nothing tangible at least. Your "reward" isn't a nice shiny watch or fat bonus check.
Your reward is self pride, freedom, and a longer life. Those are great things for sure, but are hard to "feel" or "see" when your addict brain is still craving the poison and you see peers, guys you fought tooth and nail with, caving and falling off the map.
It starts to make you wonder, and it bums you out.
The thing you have to remember is you're doing right and that life without tobacco can be a beautiful thing. More beautiful than a life with a lip stuffed with shit.
There was a reason you came here and decided to quit. You were tired of it all. You wanted your freedom and your life back. You've fought and won battles most people would lose 10 out of 10 times. You're DOING what you came here to do.
Never lose sight of that fact.
Don't sit around hoping easier days are ahead, and don't glorify the bitch by thinking your "missing out".
Take a big step back and pat yourself on the back for making it to where you are today. Recall the journey, and the great victories along the way. Try to remember that every day you go without poisoning yourself is a reward.
Hang in there bro. I know you're feeling down, but it won't last forever. This too shall pass.
Quit on...
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207- Thanks for the support Diesel. I am hating the poison big time last 2 days, and I do not care if I crave/suck/funk 24/7; I will not use nicotine today. NAFAR. I will revel in the fact that I am winning, and I will have my first nic free Christmas and new years in my adult life. Thanks to srans who set me on the path of hating the poison early in my quit; it works for me. Quit on people.
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207- Thanks for the support Diesel. I am hating the poison big time last 2 days, and I do not care if I crave/suck/funk 24/7; I will not use nicotine today. NAFAR. I will revel in the fact that I am winning, and I will have my first nic free Christmas and new years in my adult life. Thanks to srans who set me on the path of hating the poison early in my quit; it works for me. Quit on people.
This thread makes my day.
Thru toil and snares, this quitter is undeterred. I stand with both of you today. I am quit when it is easy, and, when it is difficult.
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205- I was hoping hitting the second floor might trigger a few weeks of "easy quit" like hitting 100 days did... Not so much. Ever since day 170+ my quit has gotten back to being a fight. I sat on my porch from 90-100 until 170 or so and enjoyed my quit. I junked the oral fixation nonsense, and other that posting roll I hardly thought about the poison. Then the caves started... Several of my peers caved, and more have just stopped being active. Around this time "the suck" came back into my quit big time, and it has been like the early days level of push-back from the nic bitch (my addiction) most days. I have kept my tools sharp thank God, and that has made rising to the fight easier for me. I have been alternating from craves to "suck" most of the last week. I get a crave (stronger than the average crave I get) and beat it down (I will not break my promise, I will not be a slave again, I will not give UST one more dime!), but the crave is followed by the irrational "suck" (empty feeling like I am missing out on something by not poisoning myself with tobacco). So here I am on KTC for hours at a time again, and thank God for that. I will not cave ever while I am engaged on KTC. Hope the easy quit days come again soon, but I will Quit Like Fuck Every Damn Day until they do. Piss off Nicotine I don't need you and never did. NAFAR nic bitch! I will not lose my will to fight today!
Same shit here. Just keep plowing through until it gets easy again. I think I have craved the shit more the past 10 days then I did the previous 150...
There is no finish line.
But, you know, it's better to fight the good fight than it is to give in and give up. I refuse to allow nicotine to beat me, if I can do it then so can you. I posted my promise to you and you posted yours to me today. I am going to post it again tomorrow; you better be there too!
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No worries Dougie; I will be posting roll. I must be a sick bastard b\c once I realize consciously what's going on with the suck\funk coming out of nowhere I do indeed revel in the fact that it sucks but I am winning.
Ryan, you have been helping me from the beginning and I won't let you down. I will quit EDD with you.
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Listen up bad asses! I keep my tools sharp so I can deal with the roller coaster when it gets hairy... Some of the best advice I got early in my quit was to practice when it is easy so you are ready when it gets hard! 200+ days into my quit and some days are a breeze where I don't think about the poison beyond my roll call promise, but then there are days where I swear it is worse than day 1. No finish line, NAFAR is the end game or death... Be ready to fight for your life every damn day (E0DD). Fuck the poison. Quit like fuck EDD.
PS none of you Bad Ass quitters have my permission to cave... All of you know how to quit for today so no reason to cave ever. I will punch you in the nuts if you need it so PM me B4 caving. And all you Devil Dawgs I have a special grab\ twist\ grab wake up call for you...
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Listen up bad asses! I keep my tools sharp so I can deal with the roller coaster when it gets hairy... Some of the best advice I got early in my quit was to practice when it is easy so you are ready when it gets hard! 200+ days into my quit and some days are a breeze where I don't think about the poison beyond my roll call promise, but then there are days where I swear it is worse than day 1. No finish line, NAFAR is the end game or death... Be ready to fight for your life every damn day (E0DD). Fuck the poison. Quit like fuck EDD.
PS none of you Bad Ass quitters have my permission to cave... All of you know how to quit for today so no reason to cave ever. I will punch you in the nuts if you need it so PM me B4 caving. And all you Devil Dawgs I have a special grab\ twist\ grab wake up call for you...
B-lo inspires me through intimidation and i like it.
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222- Been a while so I thought I would post here. Pre holidays was a bit of a fight for me, days 180-210 or so. Seemed to build to a peak and then easy sailing again. Funny how some days it feels like I am missing something and other days I feel fine. A firm NAFAR mindset seems to help me deal with the craves lately as it leads to a dead end every time. Crave- you are missing something! NAFAR mindset- I am not caving no matter what! End of story. Hope y'all had a great holiday season. Keep quit.
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B-lo, thanks for writing these updates. It's so important to be reminded that this is just a day by day thing. You found me early on and just wanted to say thanks. Jerry
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240- Quit has been pretty easy since my last update here. I am past the constant need for seeds, gum, or anything else though I do make sure to have something on hand for long car rides or if I go out partying. Ramped up the exercise again and that always helps. Trying to stay active on KTC and help if I can. Reading new intros is also a great way to keep myself scared about ever having to face day 1 again. I know there will likely be tough quit days ahead for me, but last few weeks have been so nice. Every day I have without a crave is a blessing, and I know I will always be a nicotine addict, but on the good days it just does not matter. On the good days I don't even think about it other than when I am on KTC. But I keep coming back day after day to post roll, to remember I am one bad decision from being right back to day 1, to help anyone I can with this addiction, and to keep my tools sharp for the next hard quit day.
To all you new quitters I just want to let you know that better days are coming if you just keep fighting. Every +1 brings you that much closer to a place where you just don't miss the poison on good days. QLF EDD.
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240- Quit has been pretty easy since my last update here. I am past the constant need for seeds, gum, or anything else though I do make sure to have something on hand for long car rides or if I go out partying. Ramped up the exercise again and that always helps. Trying to stay active on KTC and help if I can. Reading new intros is also a great way to keep myself scared about ever having to face day 1 again. I know there will likely be tough quit days ahead for me, but last few weeks have been so nice. Every day I have without a crave is a blessing, and I know I will always be a nicotine addict, but on the good days it just does not matter. On the good days I don't even think about it other than when I am on KTC. But I keep coming back day after day to post roll, to remember I am one bad decision from being right back to day 1, to help anyone I can with this addiction, and to keep my tools sharp for the next hard quit day.
To all you new quitters I just want to let you know that better days are coming if you just keep fighting. Every +1 brings you that much closer to a place where you just don't miss the poison on good days. QLF EDD.
Hell ya this post has resolve resonating throughout keep it up B lo proud of you.
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240- Quit has been pretty easy since my last update here. I am past the constant need for seeds, gum, or anything else though I do make sure to have something on hand for long car rides or if I go out partying. Ramped up the exercise again and that always helps. Trying to stay active on KTC and help if I can. Reading new intros is also a great way to keep myself scared about ever having to face day 1 again. I know there will likely be tough quit days ahead for me, but last few weeks have been so nice. Every day I have without a crave is a blessing, and I know I will always be a nicotine addict, but on the good days it just does not matter. On the good days I don't even think about it other than when I am on KTC. But I keep coming back day after day to post roll, to remember I am one bad decision from being right back to day 1, to help anyone I can with this addiction, and to keep my tools sharp for the next hard quit day.
To all you new quitters I just want to let you know that better days are coming if you just keep fighting. Every +1 brings you that much closer to a place where you just don't miss the poison on good days. QLF EDD.
Hell ya this post has resolve resonating throughout keep it up B lo proud of you.
'clap'
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250- Another number that blows my mind. I have been nicotine free for 250 days?!!! FREE!!! Holy crap! Life has been good since my last update. I have lost 25lbs. in the last 2 months and am down to my pre quit weight. Still more lbs. to lose, but at least I lost my quit weight. Newbs, do not worry if you pack on a few lbs. while you are quitting. It is common and easier to lose than tumors... I had stopped getting regular exercise for a couple of months in the fall, but I have ramped up my workouts the last couple months, and I do not think it is a coincidence that my last bout of "the suck" ended about the same time I started training again. Get some exercise people, it helps deal with the bad side effects of quitting.
Loving all the new bad asses on KTC. Very inspiring to me to watch people come in here and start chugging the kool-aide. I love seeing people 'getting it' and posting encouragement to newbs a few days or weeks in. Hard to believe I am an experience quitter. All that pain and struggle still seems fresh to me, but the +1s add up. I know I posted it before, but it is so much better now, and I can't believe how fast it got better looking back on my quit. Hard as hell at first, but one day you realize the hardest part of your quit is keeping your guard up, and if you keep your tools sharp that is pretty easy to do.
Also very happy to have added some long overdue phone numbers to my list. I reread my entire intro last week, and could not believe I did not have some peoples #s since they had been so instrumental in my quit. At the same time I also had some bad asses PM me for a # swap. Awesome stuff! Do not be afraid to txt or call your people. Had a quick conversation with my sith lord srans last week, and it was awesome to have a voice to go with the posts!
I am definitely addicted to KTC, and this is one addiction I do not plan on quitting. QLF EDD.
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250- Another number that blows my mind. I have been nicotine free for 250 days?!!! FREE!!! Holy crap! Life has been good since my last update. I have lost 25lbs. in the last 2 months and am down to my pre quit weight. Still more lbs. to lose, but at least I lost my quit weight. Newbs, do not worry if you pack on a few lbs. while you are quitting. It is common and easier to lose than tumors... I had stopped getting regular exercise for a couple of months in the fall, but I have ramped up my workouts the last couple months, and I do not think it is a coincidence that my last bout of "the suck" ended about the same time I started training again. Get some exercise people, it helps deal with the bad side effects of quitting.
Loving all the new bad asses on KTC. Very inspiring to me to watch people come in here and start chugging the kool-aide. I love seeing people 'getting it' and posting encouragement to newbs a few days or weeks in. Hard to believe I am an experience quitter. All that pain and struggle still seems fresh to me, but the +1s add up. I know I posted it before, but it is so much better now, and I can't believe how fast it got better looking back on my quit. Hard as hell at first, but one day you realize the hardest part of your quit is keeping your guard up, and if you keep your tools sharp that is pretty easy to do.
Also very happy to have added some long overdue phone numbers to my list. I reread my entire intro last week, and could not believe I did not have some peoples #s since they had been so instrumental in my quit. At the same time I also had some bad asses PM me for a # swap. Awesome stuff! Do not be afraid to txt or call your people. Had a quick conversation with my sith lord srans last week, and it was awesome to have a voice to go with the posts!
I am definitely addicted to KTC, and this is one addiction I do not plan on quitting. QLF EDD.
http://www.picgifs.com/smileys/s (http://www.picgifs.com/smileys/s)
great to see you rocking the house B-lo. I am down 7# since Jan 1, but still up 20 since quitting. My goal is April 14th, my birthday. I am hoping to be down 27# and run a 10K by that day. Wait a minute did I say hoping, screw that. Hope is a just a fat hippopotamus. We don't hope on KTC, we just DO.
Use those digits anytime B-lo, anytime.
Ryan
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B-lo, thank you for that informative post. Congrats on 250 and getting the weight off. I'm going to have to tackle about 40 of those things myself.
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250- Another number that blows my mind. I have been nicotine free for 250 days?!!! FREE!!! Holy crap! Life has been good since my last update. I have lost 25lbs. in the last 2 months and am down to my pre quit weight. Still more lbs. to lose, but at least I lost my quit weight. Newbs, do not worry if you pack on a few lbs. while you are quitting. It is common and easier to lose than tumors... I had stopped getting regular exercise for a couple of months in the fall, but I have ramped up my workouts the last couple months, and I do not think it is a coincidence that my last bout of "the suck" ended about the same time I started training again. Get some exercise people, it helps deal with the bad side effects of quitting.
Loving all the new bad asses on KTC. Very inspiring to me to watch people come in here and start chugging the kool-aide. I love seeing people 'getting it' and posting encouragement to newbs a few days or weeks in. Hard to believe I am an experience quitter. All that pain and struggle still seems fresh to me, but the +1s add up. I know I posted it before, but it is so much better now, and I can't believe how fast it got better looking back on my quit. Hard as hell at first, but one day you realize the hardest part of your quit is keeping your guard up, and if you keep your tools sharp that is pretty easy to do.
Also very happy to have added some long overdue phone numbers to my list. I reread my entire intro last week, and could not believe I did not have some peoples #s since they had been so instrumental in my quit. At the same time I also had some bad asses PM me for a # swap. Awesome stuff! Do not be afraid to txt or call your people. Had a quick conversation with my sith lord srans last week, and it was awesome to have a voice to go with the posts!
I am definitely addicted to KTC, and this is one addiction I do not plan on quitting. QLF EDD.
http://www.picgifs.com/smileys/s (http://www.picgifs.com/smileys/s)
great to see you rocking the house B-lo. I am down 7# since Jan 1, but still up 20 since quitting. My goal is April 14th, my birthday. I am hoping to be down 27# and run a 10K by that day. Wait a minute did I say hoping, screw that. Hope is a just a fat hippopotamus. We don't hope on KTC, we just DO.
Use those digits anytime B-lo, anytime.
Ryan
Damn proud to have walked with you all 250 days. See you tomorrow.
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278- So it has been a cold winter here in Buffalo this year; 23 degrees F. seems like shorts weather... Got me thinking about how that spitter in the vehicle would freeze up in the winter and would be a solid chunk of frozen brown slime... Couldn't dump it out and you needed gloves to use it... If you found yourself unprepared and all you had was an almost full iced spit bottle for a long drive it was a challenge to melt it enough to pour some out before you overfilled it... The nasty mess when it thawed enough to try and pour some off but had a core of frozen slime that was loose in the bottle, but too big to pour out... Good times. I can't believe something like that was a big part of my winter logistics for so many years. Glad as can be I am quit!
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278- So it has been a cold winter here in Buffalo this year; 23 degrees F. seems like shorts weather... Got me thinking about how that spitter in the vehicle would freeze up in the winter and would be a solid chunk of frozen brown slime... Couldn't dump it out and you needed gloves to use it... If you found yourself unprepared and all you had was an almost full iced spit bottle for a long drive it was a challenge to melt it enough to pour some out before you overfilled it... The nasty mess when it thawed enough to try and pour some off but had a core of frozen slime that was loose in the bottle, but too big to pour out... Good times. I can't believe something like that was a big part of my winter logistics for so many years. Glad as can be I am quit!
Wow. Spitters.
One of the many nasty things I do NOT miss! Good to hear from you B!
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278- So it has been a cold winter here in Buffalo this year; 23 degrees F. seems like shorts weather... Got me thinking about how that spitter in the vehicle would freeze up in the winter and would be a solid chunk of frozen brown slime... Couldn't dump it out and you needed gloves to use it... If you found yourself unprepared and all you had was an almost full iced spit bottle for a long drive it was a challenge to melt it enough to pour some out before you overfilled it... The nasty mess when it thawed enough to try and pour some off but had a core of frozen slime that was loose in the bottle, but too big to pour out... Good times. I can't believe something like that was a big part of my winter logistics for so many years. Glad as can be I am quit!
Wow. Spitters.
One of the many nasty things I do NOT miss! Good to hear from you B!
Made me want a shot of tequila just reading that. Now I'm gonna puke. Lol. Quit with ya Matt
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Congrats on 300 days brother! Well done. Quit with you all day long!
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Congrats on 300 days brother! Well done. Quit with you all day long!
Congrats brother!
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Congrats on 300 days brother! Well done. Quit with you all day long!
Congrats brother!
Well done.
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Congrats on 300 days brother!  Well done. Quit with you all day long!
Congrats brother!
Well done.
Niiice job!
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Congrats on 300 days brother!  Well done. Quit with you all day long!
Congrats brother!
Well done.
Niiice job!
Excellent! Keep up the great work!
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Congrats on 300 days brother!  Well done. Quit with you all day long!
Congrats brother!
Well done.
Niiice job!
Excellent! Keep up the great work!
Hell yes! Remember your first day? I do! Congrats bro! Your the man!
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Congrats on 300 days brother!  Well done. Quit with you all day long!
Congrats brother!
Well done.
Niiice job!
Excellent! Keep up the great work!
Hell yes! Remember your first day? I do! Congrats bro! Your the man!
300 is sweet! Way to go b-lo
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Congrats on 300 days brother!  Well done. Quit with you all day long!
Congrats brother!
Well done.
Niiice job!
Excellent! Keep up the great work!
Hell yes! Remember your first day? I do! Congrats bro! Your the man!
300 is sweet! Way to go b-lo
That's my dawg!! That my dawg!!! That's right b-lo. Proud of ya man
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Congrats on 300 days brother!  Well done. Quit with you all day long!
Congrats brother!
Well done.
Niiice job!
Excellent! Keep up the great work!
Hell yes! Remember your first day? I do! Congrats bro! Your the man!
300 is sweet! Way to go b-lo
That's my dawg!! That my dawg!!! That's right b-lo. Proud of ya man
Nice job matt keep up the strong work
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Awesome job Matt! Quit with you again today bro!
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Late, but congrats bro! Continue to post and add those +1's.
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304- Thanks all for the support! Busiest 2 weeks of the year at work for me so I haven't had much time to get online, but I wanted to let you all know it was nice to see my fellow bad asses showin the love. Quit on.
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335- Last 2 months have been a blur for me. Busiest time of the year at work, and then last 2 weeks there have been a lot of wakes and funerals in my life. The toughest one for me has been my best friends father passing unexpectedly. A great man who was like a second father to me, took me to my first hockey games, and taught me about cars and sports when I was a wee lad. When I was in high school and collage their house was the go to meeting spot, and Mr. C. became a bit of a second dad for all my good friends too; all my out of town best friends found a way to make it for the funeral. Mr. C. was the type of guy who wanted a party when he went, not a lot of crying and sobbing, and we obliged. After several hours of drinking a very strange thing happened: for a half second I was almost tempted to want a dip! 2 of my buds are still slaves to the poison, and I truly feel sad for anyone I see dipping now, but for that fraction of a second I started feeling like I wanted one... I have not had an urge or a crave or whatever in months, but the slave part of me was still there looking for weakness, and by the time of the funeral I was exhausted, emotional, and after hours of drinking a bit drunk... After watching my friends have several poison dirt lips that slave part of me was like "Oh yeah! Look they're doing it wouldn't a dip be awesome right now?", and for that point in time I could have thrown my quit out the window. It was a "what the fuck?" moment. Then I remembered that 1 problem + nicotine = 2 problems, and that I had already posted my promise to be nic free all day. My 2 dipping friends, when I told them I had just had a crave for the first time in months both told me I could NOT bum a dip from them anyway; that's why they are my true friends. They respect my quit, and as it goes on they are hopefully getting to their quitting point and will get on KTC.
Anyway my point is that even almost a year quit, and with no craves for months the addict is still me. If I let my guard down it could all go sideways. Crave lasted only for a second because of KTC, but it was as intense a crave as day one! If not the support and knowledge I have received from KTC that crave might have lasted long enough to beat me. Keep working your quit; keep doing what has gotten you this far...
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Well done, and be assured it won't be your last crave. I'm so sorry for all your trials but remember each one will strengthen or weaken us.
If I let my guard down it could all go sideways.
I believe we can be stagnant at times and stand still without moving forward or backwards but one or the other will prevail. My adjustment to your comment is that "If we let our guard down we will go backwards." Press on and continue moving forward.
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Well done, and be assured it won't be your last crave. I'm so sorry for all your trials but remember each one will strengthen or weaken us.
If I let my guard down it could all go sideways.
I believe we can be stagnant at times and stand still without moving forward or backwards but one or the other will prevail. My adjustment to your comment is that "If we let our guard down we will go backwards." Press on and continue moving forward.
I'm quit with you all day long bro! No complacency in this thread. Got to battle EDD. Quit on!
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Well done, and be assured it won't be your last crave. I'm so sorry for all your trials but remember each one will strengthen or weaken us.
If I let my guard down it could all go sideways.
I believe we can be stagnant at times and stand still without moving forward or backwards but one or the other will prevail. My adjustment to your comment is that "If we let our guard down we will go backwards." Press on and continue moving forward.
I'm quit with you all day long bro! No complacency in this thread. Got to battle EDD. Quit on!
Great job on honoring your word and leading by example B-Lo. You da man. I will quit with you any day. Quit on brother.
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Well done, and be assured it won't be your last crave. I'm so sorry for all your trials but remember each one will strengthen or weaken us.
If I let my guard down it could all go sideways.
I believe we can be stagnant at times and stand still without moving forward or backwards but one or the other will prevail. My adjustment to your comment is that "If we let our guard down we will go backwards." Press on and continue moving forward.
I'm quit with you all day long bro! No complacency in this thread. Got to battle EDD. Quit on!
Great job on honoring your word and leading by example B-Lo. You da man. I will quit with you any day. Quit on brother.
Great share Matt. It is fantastic to have friends like that in life that truly care. Sorry for all your recent losses and hurdles, great work!
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Well done, and be assured it won't be your last crave. I'm so sorry for all your trials but remember each one will strengthen or weaken us.
If I let my guard down it could all go sideways.
I believe we can be stagnant at times and stand still without moving forward or backwards but one or the other will prevail. My adjustment to your comment is that "If we let our guard down we will go backwards." Press on and continue moving forward.
I'm quit with you all day long bro! No complacency in this thread. Got to battle EDD. Quit on!
Great job on honoring your word and leading by example B-Lo. You da man. I will quit with you any day. Quit on brother.
Great share Matt. It is fantastic to have friends like that in life that truly care. Sorry for all your recent losses and hurdles, great work!
Leadership by example is powerful. Thanks for your leadership and support you give all of us Matt. Well done quitter!
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^^^^^ Agree ^^^^^^
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350-So it finally came time to mow the lawn again in WNY this weekend. I changed the oil, sharpened the blade, got the gas can filled, and got the spreader and weed and feed. It was a nice sunny day with enough wind to keep me from breaking a sweat on Saturday, and the first mowing of the year is kinda fun. When I was still a slave I would dip while mowing, but I never thought it was a big trigger for me. Driving, after meals, or taking a dump would have been my guesses at the biggest triggers for me, and maybe they were, but last summer the hardest trigger for me to break; the one that kept fighting me the longest was mowing the damn lawn! The oral fixation thing was always there last summer when I had to mow. I used Bacc-off fake dip the first month, and then mainly sunflower seeds, but the seeds were a pain in the ass when lawn mowing and the fake dip wouldn't last long enough so I started chawing on a big wad of fresh mint when I mowed the lawn. By sept. I had stopped needing the seeds and fake dip, but I still felt the need to chaw on mint while mowing the lawn. It pissed me off! I had a cathartic moment the last mowing of the season when I spat a large clump of chewed over mint onto my lawn and ran it over with the lawnmower repeatedly, all the while shouting obscenities in a Tourette syndrome like manner loud enough that I could hear myself over the mower and my earplugs... It was a draining experience that left my weak and trembling, but I broke my oral fixation that day. So when I was mowing my lawn for the first time of the season sat. I was also mowing for the first time since my episode last fall, and I didn't even realize this until I read rdads' post about doing yard-work all day and not once thinking about the poison... All the hell I went through last summer, all the times it was a minute by minute struggle, days I spent reading and posting on KTC because it was the only thing keeping me from caving, and all the nic free things I stuffed in my gob to distract myself from the cravings and urges... it was all so worth it! All the things in my day to day life were triggers, and some of them lingered for months, but in the end they have all passed, and a normal day for me now is crave free even when I mow the lawn.
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350-So it finally came time to mow the lawn again in WNY this weekend. I changed the oil, sharpened the blade, got the gas can filled, and got the spreader and weed and feed. It was a nice sunny day with enough wind to keep me from breaking a sweat on Saturday, and the first mowing of the year is kinda fun. When I was still a slave I would dip while mowing, but I never thought it was a big trigger for me. Driving, after meals, or taking a dump would have been my guesses at the biggest triggers for me, and maybe they were, but last summer the hardest trigger for me to break; the one that kept fighting me the longest was mowing the damn lawn! The oral fixation thing was always there last summer when I had to mow. I used Bacc-off fake dip the first month, and then mainly sunflower seeds, but the seeds were a pain in the ass when lawn mowing and the fake dip wouldn't last long enough so I started chawing on a big wad of fresh mint when I mowed the lawn. By sept. I had stopped needing the seeds and fake dip, but I still felt the need to chaw on mint while mowing the lawn. It pissed me off! I had a cathartic moment the last mowing of the season when I spat a large clump of chewed over mint onto my lawn and ran it over with the lawnmower repeatedly, all the while shouting obscenities in a Tourette syndrome like manner loud enough that I could hear myself over the mower and my earplugs... It was a draining experience that left my weak and trembling, but I broke my oral fixation that day. So when I was mowing my lawn for the first time of the season sat. I was also mowing for the first time since my episode last fall, and I didn't even realize this until I read rdads' post about doing yard-work all day and not once thinking about the poison... All the hell I went through last summer, all the times it was a minute by minute struggle, days I spent reading and posting on KTC because it was the only thing keeping me from caving, and all the nic free things I stuffed in my gob to distract myself from the cravings and urges... it was all so worth it! All the things in my day to day life were triggers, and some of them lingered for months, but in the end they have all passed, and a normal day for me now is crave free even when I mow the lawn.
Great post! Keep beating those triggers. Most are gone for me as well, but I'm still surprised by an occasional new one...
Stay vigilant, use the tools. If you keep a full tool suite, you are much less likely to need them because you are prepared!
Don't let that mint get a foothold in your yard, that crap is hard to kill once established...
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350-So it finally came time to mow the lawn again in WNY this weekend. I changed the oil, sharpened the blade, got the gas can filled, and got the spreader and weed and feed. It was a nice sunny day with enough wind to keep me from breaking a sweat on Saturday, and the first mowing of the year is kinda fun. When I was still a slave I would dip while mowing, but I never thought it was a big trigger for me. Driving, after meals, or taking a dump would have been my guesses at the biggest triggers for me, and maybe they were, but last summer the hardest trigger for me to break; the one that kept fighting me the longest was mowing the damn lawn! The oral fixation thing was always there last summer when I had to mow. I used Bacc-off fake dip the first month, and then mainly sunflower seeds, but the seeds were a pain in the ass when lawn mowing and the fake dip wouldn't last long enough so I started chawing on a big wad of fresh mint when I mowed the lawn. By sept. I had stopped needing the seeds and fake dip, but I still felt the need to chaw on mint while mowing the lawn. It pissed me off! I had a cathartic moment the last mowing of the season when I spat a large clump of chewed over mint onto my lawn and ran it over with the lawnmower repeatedly, all the while shouting obscenities in a Tourette syndrome like manner loud enough that I could hear myself over the mower and my earplugs... It was a draining experience that left my weak and trembling, but I broke my oral fixation that day. So when I was mowing my lawn for the first time of the season sat. I was also mowing for the first time since my episode last fall, and I didn't even realize this until I read rdads' post about doing yard-work all day and not once thinking about the poison... All the hell I went through last summer, all the times it was a minute by minute struggle, days I spent reading and posting on KTC because it was the only thing keeping me from caving, and all the nic free things I stuffed in my gob to distract myself from the cravings and urges... it was all so worth it! All the things in my day to day life were triggers, and some of them lingered for months, but in the end they have all passed, and a normal day for me now is crave free even when I mow the lawn.
Great post! Keep beating those triggers. Most are gone for me as well, but I'm still surprised by an occasional new one...
Stay vigilant, use the tools. If you keep a full tool suite, you are much less likely to need them because you are prepared!
Don't let that mint get a foothold in your yard, that crap is hard to kill once established...
Good stuff bro. I don't know about you but I'm really just starting to understand the freedom. It's nice to be unchained.
Rock on...
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350-So it finally came time to mow the lawn again in WNY this weekend. I changed the oil, sharpened the blade, got the gas can filled, and got the spreader and weed and feed. It was a nice sunny day with enough wind to keep me from breaking a sweat on Saturday, and the first mowing of the year is kinda fun. When I was still a slave I would dip while mowing, but I never thought it was a big trigger for me. Driving, after meals, or taking a dump would have been my guesses at the biggest triggers for me, and maybe they were, but last summer the hardest trigger for me to break; the one that kept fighting me the longest was mowing the damn lawn! The oral fixation thing was always there last summer when I had to mow. I used Bacc-off fake dip the first month, and then mainly sunflower seeds, but the seeds were a pain in the ass when lawn mowing and the fake dip wouldn't last long enough so I started chawing on a big wad of fresh mint when I mowed the lawn. By sept. I had stopped needing the seeds and fake dip, but I still felt the need to chaw on mint while mowing the lawn. It pissed me off! I had a cathartic moment the last mowing of the season when I spat a large clump of chewed over mint onto my lawn and ran it over with the lawnmower repeatedly, all the while shouting obscenities in a Tourette syndrome like manner loud enough that I could hear myself over the mower and my earplugs... It was a draining experience that left my weak and trembling, but I broke my oral fixation that day. So when I was mowing my lawn for the first time of the season sat. I was also mowing for the first time since my episode last fall, and I didn't even realize this until I read rdads' post about doing yard-work all day and not once thinking about the poison... All the hell I went through last summer, all the times it was a minute by minute struggle, days I spent reading and posting on KTC because it was the only thing keeping me from caving, and all the nic free things I stuffed in my gob to distract myself from the cravings and urges... it was all so worth it! All the things in my day to day life were triggers, and some of them lingered for months, but in the end they have all passed, and a normal day for me now is crave free even when I mow the lawn.
Great post! Keep beating those triggers. Most are gone for me as well, but I'm still surprised by an occasional new one...
Stay vigilant, use the tools. If you keep a full tool suite, you are much less likely to need them because you are prepared!
Don't let that mint get a foothold in your yard, that crap is hard to kill once established...
Good stuff bro. I don't know about you but I'm really just starting to understand the freedom. It's nice to be unchained.
Rock on...
you guys all keep showing me the way with this freedom think. These posts from your perspectives really help keep a quitter motivated! Nice perspective B-lo.
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350-So it finally came time to mow the lawn again in WNY this weekend. I changed the oil, sharpened the blade, got the gas can filled, and got the spreader and weed and feed. It was a nice sunny day with enough wind to keep me from breaking a sweat on Saturday, and the first mowing of the year is kinda fun. When I was still a slave I would dip while mowing, but I never thought it was a big trigger for me. Driving, after meals, or taking a dump would have been my guesses at the biggest triggers for me, and maybe they were, but last summer the hardest trigger for me to break; the one that kept fighting me the longest was mowing the damn lawn! The oral fixation thing was always there last summer when I had to mow. I used Bacc-off fake dip the first month, and then mainly sunflower seeds, but the seeds were a pain in the ass when lawn mowing and the fake dip wouldn't last long enough so I started chawing on a big wad of fresh mint when I mowed the lawn. By sept. I had stopped needing the seeds and fake dip, but I still felt the need to chaw on mint while mowing the lawn. It pissed me off! I had a cathartic moment the last mowing of the season when I spat a large clump of chewed over mint onto my lawn and ran it over with the lawnmower repeatedly, all the while shouting obscenities in a Tourette syndrome like manner loud enough that I could hear myself over the mower and my earplugs... It was a draining experience that left my weak and trembling, but I broke my oral fixation that day. So when I was mowing my lawn for the first time of the season sat. I was also mowing for the first time since my episode last fall, and I didn't even realize this until I read rdads' post about doing yard-work all day and not once thinking about the poison... All the hell I went through last summer, all the times it was a minute by minute struggle, days I spent reading and posting on KTC because it was the only thing keeping me from caving, and all the nic free things I stuffed in my gob to distract myself from the cravings and urges... it was all so worth it! All the things in my day to day life were triggers, and some of them lingered for months, but in the end they have all passed, and a normal day for me now is crave free even when I mow the lawn.
Good read man. Even though I am far behind you in days quit I had some thoughts creep in this past weekend about dip and how I can't have it anymore. They were mainly just thoughts, but it's funny how nic gets a hold and settles in to your brain. Glad to know they will finally go away someday!!!
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350-So it finally came time to mow the lawn again in WNY this weekend. I changed the oil, sharpened the blade, got the gas can filled, and got the spreader and weed and feed. It was a nice sunny day with enough wind to keep me from breaking a sweat on Saturday, and the first mowing of the year is kinda fun. When I was still a slave I would dip while mowing, but I never thought it was a big trigger for me. Driving, after meals, or taking a dump would have been my guesses at the biggest triggers for me, and maybe they were, but last summer the hardest trigger for me to break; the one that kept fighting me the longest was mowing the damn lawn! The oral fixation thing was always there last summer when I had to mow. I used Bacc-off fake dip the first month, and then mainly sunflower seeds, but the seeds were a pain in the ass when lawn mowing and the fake dip wouldn't last long enough so I started chawing on a big wad of fresh mint when I mowed the lawn. By sept. I had stopped needing the seeds and fake dip, but I still felt the need to chaw on mint while mowing the lawn. It pissed me off! I had a cathartic moment the last mowing of the season when I spat a large clump of chewed over mint onto my lawn and ran it over with the lawnmower repeatedly, all the while shouting obscenities in a Tourette syndrome like manner loud enough that I could hear myself over the mower and my earplugs... It was a draining experience that left my weak and trembling, but I broke my oral fixation that day. So when I was mowing my lawn for the first time of the season sat. I was also mowing for the first time since my episode last fall, and I didn't even realize this until I read rdads' post about doing yard-work all day and not once thinking about the poison... All the hell I went through last summer, all the times it was a minute by minute struggle, days I spent reading and posting on KTC because it was the only thing keeping me from caving, and all the nic free things I stuffed in my gob to distract myself from the cravings and urges... it was all so worth it! All the things in my day to day life were triggers, and some of them lingered for months, but in the end they have all passed, and a normal day for me now is crave free even when I mow the lawn.
Great post! Keep beating those triggers. Most are gone for me as well, but I'm still surprised by an occasional new one...
Stay vigilant, use the tools. If you keep a full tool suite, you are much less likely to need them because you are prepared!
Don't let that mint get a foothold in your yard, that crap is hard to kill once established...
Good stuff bro. I don't know about you but I'm really just starting to understand the freedom. It's nice to be unchained.
Rock on...
you guys all keep showing me the way with this freedom think. These posts from your perspectives really help keep a quitter motivated! Nice perspective B-lo.
Great post b-loMatt! You are so damn close to the first really huge milestone. One Year! A whole time around the sun and you will have faced down and killed all your triggers. Thanks for all your support. A lot of my layers of quit I wear are because of you. You are a formidable quitter!
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1 Year - Niceeeee - Congrats on this huge milestone, of course one of many to come. Now you can say with confidence. "It does get better." Enjoy your day bro!
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1 Year - Niceeeee - Congrats on this huge milestone, of course one of many to come. Now you can say with confidence. "It does get better." Enjoy your day bro!
Seems hard to believe... But there is "more better" to come! Congratulations B-Lo! You've built a hell of a strong quit! Enjoy this huge milestone!
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1 Year - Niceeeee - Congrats on this huge milestone, of course one of many to come. Now you can say with confidence. "It does get better." Enjoy your day bro!
Seems hard to believe... But there is "more better" to come! Congratulations B-Lo! You've built a hell of a strong quit! Enjoy this huge milestone!
Congrats on 1 yr brother! Enjoy today. Proud to be quit with you!
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1 Year - Niceeeee - Congrats on this huge milestone, of course one of many to come. Now you can say with confidence. "It does get better." Enjoy your day bro!
Seems hard to believe... But there is "more better" to come! Congratulations B-Lo! You've built a hell of a strong quit! Enjoy this huge milestone!
Congrats on 1 yr brother! Enjoy today. Proud to be quit with you!
Nice? Great job matt.
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1 Year - Niceeeee - Congrats on this huge milestone, of course one of many to come. Now you can say with confidence. "It does get better." Enjoy your day bro!
Seems hard to believe... But there is "more better" to come! Congratulations B-Lo! You've built a hell of a strong quit! Enjoy this huge milestone!
Congrats on 1 yr brother! Enjoy today. Proud to be quit with you!
Nice? Great job matt.
Way to go brother! This is so good to see this morning! Enjoy this m'man...
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1 Year - Niceeeee - Congrats on this huge milestone, of course one of many to come. Now you can say with confidence. "It does get better." Enjoy your day bro!
Seems hard to believe... But there is "more better" to come! Congratulations B-Lo! You've built a hell of a strong quit! Enjoy this huge milestone!
Congrats on 1 yr brother! Enjoy today. Proud to be quit with you!
Nice? Great job matt.
Way to go brother! This is so good to see this morning! Enjoy this m'man...
Congrats on 365. I too have found I love doing yard work now.
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1 Year - Niceeeee - Congrats on this huge milestone, of course one of many to come. Now you can say with confidence. "It does get better." Enjoy your day bro!
Seems hard to believe... But there is "more better" to come! Congratulations B-Lo! You've built a hell of a strong quit! Enjoy this huge milestone!
Congrats on 1 yr brother! Enjoy today. Proud to be quit with you!
Nice? Great job matt.
Way to go brother! This is so good to see this morning! Enjoy this m'man...
Congrats on one year. That's bad ass quittin'. Well done.
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1 Year - Niceeeee - Congrats on this huge milestone, of course one of many to come. Now you can say with confidence. "It does get better." Enjoy your day bro!
Seems hard to believe... But there is "more better" to come! Congratulations B-Lo! You've built a hell of a strong quit! Enjoy this huge milestone!
Congrats on 1 yr brother! Enjoy today. Proud to be quit with you!
Nice? Great job matt.
Way to go brother! This is so good to see this morning! Enjoy this m'man...
This is so cool brother. You have been such a huge inspiration for me since I joined. This is a great day! ENJOY! You sure as hell deserve it!
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One year of bad-assery, gratz brother!
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1 Year - Niceeeee - Congrats on this huge milestone, of course one of many to come. Now you can say with confidence. "It does get better." Enjoy your day bro!
Seems hard to believe... But there is "more better" to come! Congratulations B-Lo! You've built a hell of a strong quit! Enjoy this huge milestone!
Congrats on 1 yr brother! Enjoy today. Proud to be quit with you!
Nice? Great job matt.
Way to go brother! This is so good to see this morning! Enjoy this m'man...
This is so cool brother. You have been such a huge inspiration for me since I joined. This is a great day! ENJOY! You sure as hell deserve it!
Awesome! 1 year is fanfrickintastic. Keep it up
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1 Year - Niceeeee - Congrats on this huge milestone, of course one of many to come. Now you can say with confidence. "It does get better." Enjoy your day bro!
Seems hard to believe... But there is "more better" to come! Congratulations B-Lo! You've built a hell of a strong quit! Enjoy this huge milestone!
Congrats on 1 yr brother! Enjoy today. Proud to be quit with you!
Nice? Great job matt.
Way to go brother! This is so good to see this morning! Enjoy this m'man...
This is so cool brother. You have been such a huge inspiration for me since I joined. This is a great day! ENJOY! You sure as hell deserve it!
Awesome! 1 year is fanfrickintastic. Keep it up
I'm piling on here. Great work, and thanks! Keep yourself involved you inspire many.
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1 Year - Niceeeee - Congrats on this huge milestone, of course one of many to come. Now you can say with confidence. "It does get better." Enjoy your day bro!
Seems hard to believe... But there is "more better" to come! Congratulations B-Lo! You've built a hell of a strong quit! Enjoy this huge milestone!
Congrats on 1 yr brother! Enjoy today. Proud to be quit with you!
Nice? Great job matt.
Way to go brother! This is so good to see this morning! Enjoy this m'man...
This is so cool brother. You have been such a huge inspiration for me since I joined. This is a great day! ENJOY! You sure as hell deserve it!
Awesome! 1 year is fanfrickintastic. Keep it up
I'm piling on here. Great work, and thanks! Keep yourself involved you inspire many.
Another one here jumping on the pile of quit. Badass looking 365.
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1 Year - Niceeeee - Congrats on this huge milestone, of course one of many to come. Now you can say with confidence. "It does get better." Enjoy your day bro!
Seems hard to believe... But there is "more better" to come! Congratulations B-Lo! You've built a hell of a strong quit! Enjoy this huge milestone!
Congrats on 1 yr brother! Enjoy today. Proud to be quit with you!
Nice? Great job matt.
Way to go brother! This is so good to see this morning! Enjoy this m'man...
This is so cool brother. You have been such a huge inspiration for me since I joined. This is a great day! ENJOY! You sure as hell deserve it!
Awesome! 1 year is fanfrickintastic. Keep it up
I'm piling on here. Great work, and thanks! Keep yourself involved you inspire many.
Another one here jumping on the pile of quit. Badass looking 365.
People hitting a year quit gives me quit wood...
Bravo my friend... an huge accomplishment.
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366- WOW! I am blessed to have so many awesome people in my corner. Thanks all. I would never have made it this far w/o the support from KTC. Looking forward to a month of 365s for the sept 13 sluts.
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1 Year - Niceeeee - Congrats on this huge milestone, of course one of many to come. Now you can say with confidence. "It does get better." Enjoy your day bro!
Seems hard to believe... But there is "more better" to come! Congratulations B-Lo! You've built a hell of a strong quit! Enjoy this huge milestone!
Congrats on 1 yr brother! Enjoy today. Proud to be quit with you!
Nice? Great job matt.
Way to go brother! This is so good to see this morning! Enjoy this m'man...
This is so cool brother. You have been such a huge inspiration for me since I joined. This is a great day! ENJOY! You sure as hell deserve it!
Awesome! 1 year is fanfrickintastic. Keep it up
I'm piling on here. Great work, and thanks! Keep yourself involved you inspire many.
Another one here jumping on the pile of quit. Badass looking 365.
People hitting a year quit gives me quit wood...
Bravo my friend... an huge accomplishment.
Well done well done keep on adding +1's and the 4th floor will be here soon.... 'oh yeah'
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A nice year of quit B-Lo! Gratz to you!
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A nice year of quit B-Lo! Gratz to you!
Day 26 here and I see your name a lot. Congrats on a year plus a few days. Us new guys are doing our +1s and still battling hard. Good to see you lead by example.
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1 Year - Niceeeee - Congrats on this huge milestone, of course one of many to come. Now you can say with confidence. "It does get better." Enjoy your day bro!
Seems hard to believe... But there is "more better" to come! Congratulations B-Lo! You've built a hell of a strong quit! Enjoy this huge milestone!
Congrats on 1 yr brother! Enjoy today. Proud to be quit with you!
Nice? Great job matt.
Way to go brother! This is so good to see this morning! Enjoy this m'man...
This is so cool brother. You have been such a huge inspiration for me since I joined. This is a great day! ENJOY! You sure as hell deserve it!
Awesome! 1 year is fanfrickintastic. Keep it up
I'm piling on here. Great work, and thanks! Keep yourself involved you inspire many.
Another one here jumping on the pile of quit. Badass looking 365.
People hitting a year quit gives me quit wood...
Bravo my friend... an huge accomplishment.
Well done well done keep on adding +1's and the 4th floor will be here soon.... 'oh yeah'
Matt am a day late and sorry for that but congrats man, you have been a great quitter to follow and for that I thank you.
P
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370- I thought about dip quite a bit yesterday... It was dance recital day and both my daughters and niece were dancing, and I had to get onstage and perform with my oldest for the 'father daughter' dance. My wife was supper stressed all morning getting the girls ready, and you married guys know what that is like. I was trying to be easy going, but I worked late last night and had lots of things to take care of before the dance recital myself while also trying to keep momma bear happy. I was a bit worried about fucking up my part in the recital, I needed to make sure the HD recorder was charged and had memory, and I needed to get the after-party set up + be ready to go myself. I did not think about dip through any of this though. When I put on my dance costume (black pants and a white polo shirt) right before I guided a bunch of family to the recital was when I started thinking about dip. You see last year was my first dance recital, and I was very newly quit (might have been my first weekend quit, second weekend tops) and the stress level was just as high in my house. I remember it as being one of my biggest early wins to have gotten through that day without caving! I could handle a jacked up wifey, psycho children, crowds, family gathering, hosting\feeding said family, logistics, and performance anxiety/stage-fright without stuffing my gob full of overpriced poison weed every chance I got! I was killing it brothers and sisters! Yesterday I had exactly zero craves... Yes I thought about dip, but I did not have an urge... I DID NOT HAVE AN URGE!
You new bad assed quitters: it gets so much better! I have supper bad assed quitters a lot longer quit than I am telling me it gets better still! Fight this fight! It is worth the hell you are going through!
P.S. All that exercise does more than ease craves: I got lots of compliments from my out of town family about how good I looked!
P.P.S. My mother is a huge Rod Stewart fan, and since her birthday is next week, I took her to see the Santana/ Rod Stewart concert yesterday night: WOW! Rod can't quite sing like he used to, but still puts on a great show. Carlos Santana is a living legend! I have seen a lot of great guitar players (Jimmy Page, Toni Iommi, Angus Young, Eddie Van Halen, Jerry Cantrell, Alex Lifeson, Slash, Zack Wylde, Steve Via, etc.) Santana is as good or better than any of them! If you like music period and have a chance to see this show do it.
Nice to have a good rant in my intro again, and doubly nice that it was NOT crave induced! Quit on my friends.
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370- I thought about dip quite a bit yesterday... It was dance recital day and both my daughters and niece were dancing, and I had to get onstage and perform with my oldest for the 'father daughter' dance. My wife was supper stressed all morning getting the girls ready, and you married guys know what that is like. I was trying to be easy going, but I worked late last night and had lots of things to take care of before the dance recital myself while also trying to keep momma bear happy. I was a bit worried about fucking up my part in the recital, I needed to make sure the HD recorder was charged and had memory, and I needed to get the after-party set up + be ready to go myself. I did not think about dip through any of this though. When I put on my dance costume (black pants and a white polo shirt) right before I guided a bunch of family to the recital was when I started thinking about dip. You see last year was my first dance recital, and I was very newly quit (might have been my first weekend quit, second weekend tops) and the stress level was just as high in my house. I remember it as being one of my biggest early wins to have gotten through that day without caving! I could handle a jacked up wifey, psycho children, crowds, family gathering, hosting\feeding said family, logistics, and performance anxiety/stage-fright without stuffing my gob full of overpriced poison weed every chance I got! I was killing it brothers and sisters! Yesterday I had exactly zero craves... Yes I thought about dip, but I did not have an urge... I DID NOT HAVE AN URGE!
You new bad assed quitters: it gets so much better! I have supper bad assed quitters a lot longer quit than I am telling me it gets better still! Fight this fight! It is worth the hell you are going through!
P.S. All that exercise does more than ease craves: I got lots of compliments from my out of town family about how good I looked!
P.P.S. My mother is a huge Rod Stewart fan, and since her birthday is next week, I took her to see the Santana/ Rod Stewart concert yesterday night: WOW! Rod can't quite sing like he used to, but still puts on a great show. Carlos Santana is a living legend! I have seen a lot of great guitar players (Jimmy Page, Toni Iommi, Angus Young, Eddie Van Halen, Jerry Cantrell, Alex Lifeson, Slash, Zack Wylde, Steve Via, etc.) Santana is as good or better than any of them! If you like music period and have a chance to see this show do it.
Nice to have a good rant in my intro again, and doubly nice that it was NOT crave induced! Quit on my friends.
That it "gets even better" is one of the things that spur me on everyday. I feel pretty great just shy of 200. You say its even better at one year, LOOT would say it even better after 9 years! Better in tiny baby steps is all I want. That was a good story about your Daddy -Daughter dance. Thats what this is all about! So proud to be quit with you!
PS Alex Lifeson should be at the top of that list! ;)
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1 year down and now 400....... is badass brother. Quit with you every day.
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1 year down and now 400....... is badass brother. Quit with you every day.
4 bills. Well done sir!
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1 year down and now 400....... is badass brother. Quit with you every day.
4 bills. Well done sir!
Nice job B!
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1 year down and now 400....... is badass brother. Quit with you every day.
4 bills. Well done sir!
Nice job B!
Congrats!
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1 year down and now 400....... is badass brother. Quit with you every day.
4 bills. Well done sir!
Nice job B!
Congrats!
'clap'
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1 year down and now 400....... is badass brother. Quit with you every day.
4 bills. Well done sir!
Nice job B!
Congrats!
'clap'
Another milestone...very nice B-lo!
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1 year down and now 400....... is badass brother. Quit with you every day.
4 bills. Well done sir!
Nice job B!
Congrats!
'clap'
Another milestone...very nice B-lo!
Congrats bro, proud to be quitting with you ODAAT
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1 year down and now 400....... is badass brother. Quit with you every day.
4 bills. Well done sir!
Nice job B!
Congrats!
'clap'
Another milestone...very nice B-lo!
Congrats bro, proud to be quitting with you ODAAT
congrats you badass B lo enjoy your day 'oh yeah'
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1 year down and now 400....... is badass brother. Quit with you every day.
4 bills. Well done sir!
Nice job B!
Congrats!
'clap'
Another milestone...very nice B-lo!
Congrats bro, proud to be quitting with you ODAAT
congrats you badass B lo enjoy your day 'oh yeah'
Sweeeet!
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415- I find myself more angry than ever at the poison pushers today... It is almost plausible to accept the quaint notion that 50+ years ago people didn't know how bad tobacco was for people, but it was just as obvious then as it is today. Our ancestors were just as intelligent as people today so it is hard to believe that addiction wasn't recognized for what it is as well, and yet big tobacco thrives... At least American society tried to outlaw alcohol, but of course that was not the answer just as the "war on drugs" hasn't made one bit of difference with illegal drug use. At least a failed attempt had been made with everything except tobacco... Of course there is way too much money to be made with the most addictive of drugs for it to ever come to that. The dog and pony shows of big tobacco executives being dragged in front of congress yielded some weak warning labels (you all remember how the warnings stopped you from using...) and not much else. The government was to get some money for anti tobacco education purposes, but that seems to me to only be used to make a few 'scare ya straight' commercials (probably produced by the governors' friends and family at 10x what it should cost but I'm a non-believer in government looking out for the peoples best interests anyway).
The only way to combat addictive drugs is through education, and we as a society squander our resources on almost anything but education. Sure there is a token amount of anti-drug education out there, but no where near enough. How can we expect one visit a year from a local police officer at a school to teach kids about drugs for an hour, and a handful of scary commercials to overcome the misinformation and propaganda that is out there? Not to mention the unwitting advertising done by ignorant users in pop culture glorifying poisons everyday. We all had role-models and people we looked up to who were addicts. How can tobacco be bad if mom and dad use it? By the time most people see the damage it does to mom and dad they are grown up and already in danger of being addicted...
I am going to try and educate somebody today if they like it or not. Maybe if we all do a little bit of educating we can save someone the pain, damage, and expense we all faced... I am so grateful for KTC. Exposing the lies, and helping people with the truth. Proud to be quit with such a group!
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415- I find myself more angry than ever at the poison pushers today... It is almost plausible to accept the quaint notion that 50+ years ago people didn't know how bad tobacco was for people, but it was just as obvious then as it is today. Our ancestors were just as intelligent as people today so it is hard to believe that addiction wasn't recognized for what it is as well, and yet big tobacco thrives... At least American society tried to outlaw alcohol, but of course that was not the answer just as the "war on drugs" hasn't made one bit of difference with illegal drug use. At least a failed attempt had been made with everything except tobacco... Of course there is way too much money to be made with the most addictive of drugs for it to ever come to that. The dog and pony shows of big tobacco executives being dragged in front of congress yielded some weak warning labels (you all remember how the warnings stopped you from using...) and not much else. The government was to get some money for anti tobacco education purposes, but that seems to me to only be used to make a few 'scare ya straight' commercials (probably produced by the governors' friends and family at 10x what it should cost but I'm a non-believer in government looking out for the peoples best interests anyway).
The only way to combat addictive drugs is through education, and we as a society squander our resources on almost anything but education. Sure there is a token amount of anti-drug education out there, but no where near enough. How can we expect one visit a year from a local police officer at a school to teach kids about drugs for an hour, and a handful of scary commercials to overcome the misinformation and propaganda that is out there? Not to mention the unwitting advertising done by ignorant users in pop culture glorifying poisons everyday. We all had role-models and people we looked up to who were addicts. How can tobacco be bad if mom and dad use it? By the time most people see the damage it does to mom and dad they are grown up and already in danger of being addicted...
I am going to try and educate somebody today if they like it or not. Maybe if we all do a little bit of educating we can save someone the pain, damage, and expense we all faced... I am so grateful for KTC. Exposing the lies, and helping people with the truth. Proud to be quit with such a group!
I quit with you Today Matt. You are a rockstar of quit.
I agree with you 100%.
3 years ago a customer crammed education down my throat...I didn't want to hear it....her husband died from a rare cancer and she was telling me that I should quit..this was a perfect stranger, a new customer of mine. Looking back I realize that the seed she planted and the words I resisted had an effect on me.
We are humans. we are affected by what we hear, see, say and do. Simple.
I talked to a perfect stranger in a sporting goods store last year..poor fella was looking for a place to spit..LOL
I watched him spit into a trash can inside the store, he missed for the most part...ran down the side of the can...LOL
I walked up to him and asked him "what's ya dippin'? We talked. I gave him the KTC site. I told him my story. He told me his. He admitted he wanted to quit. I told him it is very doable ODAAT. No law against talking to strangers...in my small town it is what we do. used to be that way everywhere not long ago. Anyhow, I agree with You Matt and I tell everyone about the poison and the life of freedom found here at KTC.
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415- I find myself more angry than ever at the poison pushers today... It is almost plausible to accept the quaint notion that 50+ years ago people didn't know how bad tobacco was for people, but it was just as obvious then as it is today. Our ancestors were just as intelligent as people today so it is hard to believe that addiction wasn't recognized for what it is as well, and yet big tobacco thrives... At least American society tried to outlaw alcohol, but of course that was not the answer just as the "war on drugs" hasn't made one bit of difference with illegal drug use. At least a failed attempt had been made with everything except tobacco... Of course there is way too much money to be made with the most addictive of drugs for it to ever come to that. The dog and pony shows of big tobacco executives being dragged in front of congress yielded some weak warning labels (you all remember how the warnings stopped you from using...) and not much else. The government was to get some money for anti tobacco education purposes, but that seems to me to only be used to make a few 'scare ya straight' commercials (probably produced by the governors' friends and family at 10x what it should cost but I'm a non-believer in government looking out for the peoples best interests anyway).
The only way to combat addictive drugs is through education, and we as a society squander our resources on almost anything but education. Sure there is a token amount of anti-drug education out there, but no where near enough. How can we expect one visit a year from a local police officer at a school to teach kids about drugs for an hour, and a handful of scary commercials to overcome the misinformation and propaganda that is out there? Not to mention the unwitting advertising done by ignorant users in pop culture glorifying poisons everyday. We all had role-models and people we looked up to who were addicts. How can tobacco be bad if mom and dad use it? By the time most people see the damage it does to mom and dad they are grown up and already in danger of being addicted...
I am going to try and educate somebody today if they like it or not. Maybe if we all do a little bit of educating we can save someone the pain, damage, and expense we all faced... I am so grateful for KTC. Exposing the lies, and helping people with the truth. Proud to be quit with such a group!
I quit with you Today Matt. You are a rockstar of quit.
I agree with you 100%.
3 years ago a customer crammed education down my throat...I didn't want to hear it....her husband died from a rare cancer and she was telling me that I should quit..this was a perfect stranger, a new customer of mine. Looking back I realize that the seed she planted and the words I resisted had an effect on me.
We are humans. we are affected by what we hear, see, say and do. Simple.
I talked to a perfect stranger in a sporting goods store last year..poor fella was looking for a place to spit..LOL
I watched him spit into a trash can inside the store, he missed for the most part...ran down the side of the can...LOL
I walked up to him and asked him "what's ya dippin'? We talked. I gave him the KTC site. I told him my story. He told me his. He admitted he wanted to quit. I told him it is very doable ODAAT. No law against talking to strangers...in my small town it is what we do. used to be that way everywhere not long ago. Anyhow, I agree with You Matt and I tell everyone about the poison and the life of freedom found here at KTC.
Very well said Matt. I myself educate the dipping public as often as I can. Preach on brother Matt, preach on.
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415- I find myself more angry than ever at the poison pushers today... It is almost plausible to accept the quaint notion that 50+ years ago people didn't know how bad tobacco was for people, but it was just as obvious then as it is today. Our ancestors were just as intelligent as people today so it is hard to believe that addiction wasn't recognized for what it is as well, and yet big tobacco thrives... At least American society tried to outlaw alcohol, but of course that was not the answer just as the "war on drugs" hasn't made one bit of difference with illegal drug use. At least a failed attempt had been made with everything except tobacco... Of course there is way too much money to be made with the most addictive of drugs for it to ever come to that. The dog and pony shows of big tobacco executives being dragged in front of congress yielded some weak warning labels (you all remember how the warnings stopped you from using...) and not much else. The government was to get some money for anti tobacco education purposes, but that seems to me to only be used to make a few 'scare ya straight' commercials (probably produced by the governors' friends and family at 10x what it should cost but I'm a non-believer in government looking out for the peoples best interests anyway).
The only way to combat addictive drugs is through education, and we as a society squander our resources on almost anything but education. Sure there is a token amount of anti-drug education out there, but no where near enough. How can we expect one visit a year from a local police officer at a school to teach kids about drugs for an hour, and a handful of scary commercials to overcome the misinformation and propaganda that is out there? Not to mention the unwitting advertising done by ignorant users in pop culture glorifying poisons everyday. We all had role-models and people we looked up to who were addicts. How can tobacco be bad if mom and dad use it? By the time most people see the damage it does to mom and dad they are grown up and already in danger of being addicted...
I am going to try and educate somebody today if they like it or not. Maybe if we all do a little bit of educating we can save someone the pain, damage, and expense we all faced... I am so grateful for KTC. Exposing the lies, and helping people with the truth. Proud to be quit with such a group!
I quit with you Today Matt. You are a rockstar of quit.
I agree with you 100%.
3 years ago a customer crammed education down my throat...I didn't want to hear it....her husband died from a rare cancer and she was telling me that I should quit..this was a perfect stranger, a new customer of mine. Looking back I realize that the seed she planted and the words I resisted had an effect on me.
We are humans. we are affected by what we hear, see, say and do. Simple.
I talked to a perfect stranger in a sporting goods store last year..poor fella was looking for a place to spit..LOL
I watched him spit into a trash can inside the store, he missed for the most part...ran down the side of the can...LOL
I walked up to him and asked him "what's ya dippin'? We talked. I gave him the KTC site. I told him my story. He told me his. He admitted he wanted to quit. I told him it is very doable ODAAT. No law against talking to strangers...in my small town it is what we do. used to be that way everywhere not long ago. Anyhow, I agree with You Matt and I tell everyone about the poison and the life of freedom found here at KTC.
Very well said Matt. I myself educate the dipping public as often as I can. Preach on brother Matt, preach on.
Good stuff. You got me fired up today!
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415- I find myself more angry than ever at the poison pushers today... It is almost plausible to accept the quaint notion that 50+ years ago people didn't know how bad tobacco was for people, but it was just as obvious then as it is today. Our ancestors were just as intelligent as people today so it is hard to believe that addiction wasn't recognized for what it is as well, and yet big tobacco thrives... At least American society tried to outlaw alcohol, but of course that was not the answer just as the "war on drugs" hasn't made one bit of difference with illegal drug use. At least a failed attempt had been made with everything except tobacco... Of course there is way too much money to be made with the most addictive of drugs for it to ever come to that. The dog and pony shows of big tobacco executives being dragged in front of congress yielded some weak warning labels (you all remember how the warnings stopped you from using...) and not much else. The government was to get some money for anti tobacco education purposes, but that seems to me to only be used to make a few 'scare ya straight' commercials (probably produced by the governors' friends and family at 10x what it should cost but I'm a non-believer in government looking out for the peoples best interests anyway).
The only way to combat addictive drugs is through education, and we as a society squander our resources on almost anything but education. Sure there is a token amount of anti-drug education out there, but no where near enough. How can we expect one visit a year from a local police officer at a school to teach kids about drugs for an hour, and a handful of scary commercials to overcome the misinformation and propaganda that is out there? Not to mention the unwitting advertising done by ignorant users in pop culture glorifying poisons everyday. We all had role-models and people we looked up to who were addicts. How can tobacco be bad if mom and dad use it? By the time most people see the damage it does to mom and dad they are grown up and already in danger of being addicted...
I am going to try and educate somebody today if they like it or not. Maybe if we all do a little bit of educating we can save someone the pain, damage, and expense we all faced... I am so grateful for KTC. Exposing the lies, and helping people with the truth. Proud to be quit with such a group!
I quit with you Today Matt. You are a rockstar of quit.
I agree with you 100%.
3 years ago a customer crammed education down my throat...I didn't want to hear it....her husband died from a rare cancer and she was telling me that I should quit..this was a perfect stranger, a new customer of mine. Looking back I realize that the seed she planted and the words I resisted had an effect on me.
We are humans. we are affected by what we hear, see, say and do. Simple.
I talked to a perfect stranger in a sporting goods store last year..poor fella was looking for a place to spit..LOL
I watched him spit into a trash can inside the store, he missed for the most part...ran down the side of the can...LOL
I walked up to him and asked him "what's ya dippin'? We talked. I gave him the KTC site. I told him my story. He told me his. He admitted he wanted to quit. I told him it is very doable ODAAT. No law against talking to strangers...in my small town it is what we do. used to be that way everywhere not long ago. Anyhow, I agree with You Matt and I tell everyone about the poison and the life of freedom found here at KTC.
Very well said Matt. I myself educate the dipping public as often as I can. Preach on brother Matt, preach on.
Good stuff. You got me fired up today!
A show that show exactly what you are talking about is MAD MEN. They smoke like it is their job on that show. Totally ridiculous.
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415- I find myself more angry than ever at the poison pushers today... It is almost plausible to accept the quaint notion that 50+ years ago people didn't know how bad tobacco was for people, but it was just as obvious then as it is today. Our ancestors were just as intelligent as people today so it is hard to believe that addiction wasn't recognized for what it is as well, and yet big tobacco thrives... At least American society tried to outlaw alcohol, but of course that was not the answer just as the "war on drugs" hasn't made one bit of difference with illegal drug use. At least a failed attempt had been made with everything except tobacco... Of course there is way too much money to be made with the most addictive of drugs for it to ever come to that. The dog and pony shows of big tobacco executives being dragged in front of congress yielded some weak warning labels (you all remember how the warnings stopped you from using...) and not much else. The government was to get some money for anti tobacco education purposes, but that seems to me to only be used to make a few 'scare ya straight' commercials (probably produced by the governors' friends and family at 10x what it should cost but I'm a non-believer in government looking out for the peoples best interests anyway).
The only way to combat addictive drugs is through education, and we as a society squander our resources on almost anything but education. Sure there is a token amount of anti-drug education out there, but no where near enough. How can we expect one visit a year from a local police officer at a school to teach kids about drugs for an hour, and a handful of scary commercials to overcome the misinformation and propaganda that is out there? Not to mention the unwitting advertising done by ignorant users in pop culture glorifying poisons everyday. We all had role-models and people we looked up to who were addicts. How can tobacco be bad if mom and dad use it? By the time most people see the damage it does to mom and dad they are grown up and already in danger of being addicted...
I am going to try and educate somebody today if they like it or not. Maybe if we all do a little bit of educating we can save someone the pain, damage, and expense we all faced... I am so grateful for KTC. Exposing the lies, and helping people with the truth. Proud to be quit with such a group!
I quit with you Today Matt. You are a rockstar of quit.
I agree with you 100%.
3 years ago a customer crammed education down my throat...I didn't want to hear it....her husband died from a rare cancer and she was telling me that I should quit..this was a perfect stranger, a new customer of mine. Looking back I realize that the seed she planted and the words I resisted had an effect on me.
We are humans. we are affected by what we hear, see, say and do. Simple.
I talked to a perfect stranger in a sporting goods store last year..poor fella was looking for a place to spit..LOL
I watched him spit into a trash can inside the store, he missed for the most part...ran down the side of the can...LOL
I walked up to him and asked him "what's ya dippin'? We talked. I gave him the KTC site. I told him my story. He told me his. He admitted he wanted to quit. I told him it is very doable ODAAT. No law against talking to strangers...in my small town it is what we do. used to be that way everywhere not long ago. Anyhow, I agree with You Matt and I tell everyone about the poison and the life of freedom found here at KTC.
Very well said Matt. I myself educate the dipping public as often as I can. Preach on brother Matt, preach on.
Good stuff. You got me fired up today!
A show that show exactly what you are talking about is MAD MEN. They smoke like it is their job on that show. Totally ridiculous.
Well,...if your intent was to educate somebody today I think you've pretty much accomplished your goal by posting this slice of quit gospel. In my first 7 months or so of quit, this is the first time I've read such an eloquent perspective on the history of half-ass awareness. In a nation where transparency of information seems to be an upward trend, you've aptly illustrated the tobacco industry's success in simply giving just enough for quell the public's need. Thanks for the post brotha.
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415- I find myself more angry than ever at the poison pushers today... It is almost plausible to accept the quaint notion that 50+ years ago people didn't know how bad tobacco was for people, but it was just as obvious then as it is today. Our ancestors were just as intelligent as people today so it is hard to believe that addiction wasn't recognized for what it is as well, and yet big tobacco thrives... At least American society tried to outlaw alcohol, but of course that was not the answer just as the "war on drugs" hasn't made one bit of difference with illegal drug use. At least a failed attempt had been made with everything except tobacco... Of course there is way too much money to be made with the most addictive of drugs for it to ever come to that. The dog and pony shows of big tobacco executives being dragged in front of congress yielded some weak warning labels (you all remember how the warnings stopped you from using...) and not much else. The government was to get some money for anti tobacco education purposes, but that seems to me to only be used to make a few 'scare ya straight' commercials (probably produced by the governors' friends and family at 10x what it should cost but I'm a non-believer in government looking out for the peoples best interests anyway).
The only way to combat addictive drugs is through education, and we as a society squander our resources on almost anything but education. Sure there is a token amount of anti-drug education out there, but no where near enough. How can we expect one visit a year from a local police officer at a school to teach kids about drugs for an hour, and a handful of scary commercials to overcome the misinformation and propaganda that is out there? Not to mention the unwitting advertising done by ignorant users in pop culture glorifying poisons everyday. We all had role-models and people we looked up to who were addicts. How can tobacco be bad if mom and dad use it? By the time most people see the damage it does to mom and dad they are grown up and already in danger of being addicted...
I am going to try and educate somebody today if they like it or not. Maybe if we all do a little bit of educating we can save someone the pain, damage, and expense we all faced... I am so grateful for KTC. Exposing the lies, and helping people with the truth. Proud to be quit with such a group!
I quit with you Today Matt. You are a rockstar of quit.
I agree with you 100%.
3 years ago a customer crammed education down my throat...I didn't want to hear it....her husband died from a rare cancer and she was telling me that I should quit..this was a perfect stranger, a new customer of mine. Looking back I realize that the seed she planted and the words I resisted had an effect on me.
We are humans. we are affected by what we hear, see, say and do. Simple.
I talked to a perfect stranger in a sporting goods store last year..poor fella was looking for a place to spit..LOL
I watched him spit into a trash can inside the store, he missed for the most part...ran down the side of the can...LOL
I walked up to him and asked him "what's ya dippin'? We talked. I gave him the KTC site. I told him my story. He told me his. He admitted he wanted to quit. I told him it is very doable ODAAT. No law against talking to strangers...in my small town it is what we do. used to be that way everywhere not long ago. Anyhow, I agree with You Matt and I tell everyone about the poison and the life of freedom found here at KTC.
Very well said Matt. I myself educate the dipping public as often as I can. Preach on brother Matt, preach on.
Good stuff. You got me fired up today!
A show that show exactly what you are talking about is MAD MEN. They smoke like it is their job on that show. Totally ridiculous.
Well,...if your intent was to educate somebody today I think you've pretty much accomplished your goal by posting this slice of quit gospel. In my first 7 months or so of quit, this is the first time I've read such an eloquent perspective on the history of half-ass awareness. In a nation where transparency of information seems to be an upward trend, you've aptly illustrated the tobacco industry's success in simply giving just enough for quell the public's need. Thanks for the post brotha.
Excellent post. It feels good to see through all the BS. Tobacco execs and their cronies in the legislature will surely burn in hell.
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422- I've been more active on the intro boards the last few days than I have been for some time. Just trying to pay it forward and help people quit. Lots of quit wood from the new quitters jumping in and chugging the KTC kool-aide, but also getting me pissed off is some of the dumb assed shit some of the newbs are spewing. I'm not even mad at them; rather, I am pissed off b/c I know I said the same stupid shit myself once upon a time... Holy crap am I glad I found KTC and the truth herein!
You newbs and users still on the fence who read this: Go to the start of this thread or any of the older intro threads and read them through. You will see that there is pain, rage, and doubt at the beginning of all our quits. Most of us were scared to quit, but we all did it anyway, and at some point in all our quits it became better. Fight for this people, you can be free.
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441- I had a dip dream again last night. It was a weird one as I don't remember actually having the poison in my gob, but just reaching for a can and finding it empty. Then the regret, remorse, self-loathing, etc. kicked in. Kinda nice to get the reminder of what a delta bravo I'd feel like if I ever caved w/o even having to dream I had the poison dirt in my mouth! QLF all day today.
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441- I had a dip dream again last night. It was a weird one as I don't remember actually having the poison in my gob, but just reaching for a can and finding it empty. Then the regret, remorse, self-loathing, etc. kicked in. Kinda nice to get the reminder of what a delta bravo I'd feel like if I ever caved w/o even having to dream I had the poison dirt in my mouth! QLF all day today.
Nice win matt. The guilt of letting yourself, and others, down is a wicked powerful motivator. Proud to quit with you.
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441- I had a dip dream again last night. It was a weird one as I don't remember actually having the poison in my gob, but just reaching for a can and finding it empty. Then the regret, remorse, self-loathing, etc. kicked in. Kinda nice to get the reminder of what a delta bravo I'd feel like if I ever caved w/o even having to dream I had the poison dirt in my mouth! QLF all day today.
Nice win matt. The guilt of letting yourself, and others, down is a wicked powerful motivator. Proud to quit with you.
Had one myself just a few weeks ago. They goof me out ever'time! Waking up is such a relief. Rock on m'man...
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441- I had a dip dream again last night. It was a weird one as I don't remember actually having the poison in my gob, but just reaching for a can and finding it empty. Then the regret, remorse, self-loathing, etc. kicked in. Kinda nice to get the reminder of what a delta bravo I'd feel like if I ever caved w/o even having to dream I had the poison dirt in my mouth! QLF all day today.
Nice win matt. The guilt of letting yourself, and others, down is a wicked powerful motivator. Proud to quit with you.
Had one myself just a few weeks ago. They goof me out ever'time! Waking up is such a relief. Rock on m'man...
Just another dream. Blah blah you keep kicking that ass. I am with you EDD. Right here and you know I have your number and I will track your ass down. Miss a day and boom.
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441- I had a dip dream again last night. It was a weird one as I don't remember actually having the poison in my gob, but just reaching for a can and finding it empty. Then the regret, remorse, self-loathing, etc. kicked in. Kinda nice to get the reminder of what a delta bravo I'd feel like if I ever caved w/o even having to dream I had the poison dirt in my mouth! QLF all day today.
Nice win matt. The guilt of letting yourself, and others, down is a wicked powerful motivator. Proud to quit with you.
Had one myself just a few weeks ago. They goof me out ever'time! Waking up is such a relief. Rock on m'man...
Just another dream. Blah blah you keep kicking that ass. I am with you EDD. Right here and you know I have your number and I will track your ass down. Miss a day and boom.
Your not the only one duathman. Mat wouldn't have any where to hide.. Here's one for the newbies to read. Read an intro that meant business. Three types of quitters come to ktc. Those who want to play. Those who want to pretend. Then you have this guy. He came to quit.
Mat has built accountability so far and wide he would never be able to mention his name in public after a cave. I would bet more money than i have that a cave is impossible from this guy. His word means something. Thanks for being here bro. Glad to have quit with you edd.
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^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
True story
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441- I had a dip dream again last night. It was a weird one as I don't remember actually having the poison in my gob, but just reaching for a can and finding it empty. Then the regret, remorse, self-loathing, etc. kicked in. Kinda nice to get the reminder of what a delta bravo I'd feel like if I ever caved w/o even having to dream I had the poison dirt in my mouth! QLF all day today.
Nice win matt. The guilt of letting yourself, and others, down is a wicked powerful motivator. Proud to quit with you.
Had one myself just a few weeks ago. They goof me out ever'time! Waking up is such a relief. Rock on m'man...
Just another dream. Blah blah you keep kicking that ass. I am with you EDD. Right here and you know I have your number and I will track your ass down. Miss a day and boom.
Your not the only one duathman. Mat wouldn't have any where to hide.. Here's one for the newbies to read. Read an intro that meant business. Three types of quitters come to ktc. Those who want to play. Those who want to pretend. Then you have this guy. He came to quit.
Mat has built accountability so far and wide he would never be able to mention his name in public after a cave. I would bet more money than i have that a cave is impossible from this guy. His word means something. Thanks for being here bro. Glad to have quit with you edd.
As solid a quitter as there is on this site. Gives me more strength to stay quit that I could convey in words. A true stalwart of quit!
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461- So, I find myself understanding my father more and more as I get older. My Dad quit smoking when I was a little kid. I vaguely remember the camel un-filtered he used to smoke. The thing is, once my old man quit he became the biggest hater of second hand smoke I can remember. He also had nothing but distain for smoking and smokers. Sure he was quiet about his opinion most of the time with family members, but strangers often got an earful. Usually friendly advice that the poison was bad for them, but sometimes not so friendly... Anyway, I find myself enraged by inconsiderate smokers of late. I feel sorry for people I see using smokeless and smoking, but when I am unfortunate enough to catch a wiff of the poison smoke I want to loose my mind! I have always been irritated physically by second hand smoke (who isn't?), but I think the thing that really makes me upset is the thought of getting any nicotine in my system from the death cloud. Thankfully most people today are considerate and remove themselves to some remote spot before lighting up their filthy cancer sticks, but sometimes the designated smoking area is too close to me, and worst of all there are still times when, for whatever reason, people light up right in a crowd.... I want to go to these people and, after extinguishing their smoke by smothering the cherry on their forehead, explain to them that not everyone appreciates their bullshit! I miss you Dad, but now that I am quit too I understand some of the things you used to do.
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487- I'm going to have to put one of my dogs down today, and it sucks. I will not add to my misery by caving... I haven't had a crave or urge in a long time, but as I heard the bad news from the vet I swear the little nic bitch part of my brain thought it saw an opening, and I could hear the whispering... WTF. Stupid addiction.
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487- I'm going to have to put one of my dogs down today, and it sucks. I will not add to my misery by caving... I haven't had a crave or urge in a long time, but as I heard the bad news from the vet I swear the little nic bitch part of my brain thought it saw an opening, and I could hear the whispering... WTF. Stupid addiction.
Sorry about your dog Matt.
Nicky has nothing on You Today!
You're the boss.
I quit with you today and everyday that ends with a "y".
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487- I'm going to have to put one of my dogs down today, and it sucks. I will not add to my misery by caving... I haven't had a crave or urge in a long time, but as I heard the bad news from the vet I swear the little nic bitch part of my brain thought it saw an opening, and I could hear the whispering... WTF. Stupid addiction.
Sorry about your dog Matt.
Nicky has nothing on You Today!
You're the boss.
I quit with you today and everyday that ends with a "y".
Awww Matt,
Sorry about your pup. We said goodbye to our 12 year old lab a couple years ago. Very Sad. Thinking about you today. We all are.
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500 is pretty badass. Glad to have you in my corner EDD
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500 is pretty badass. Glad to have you in my corner EDD
B-Lo. 500 is definitely rarified air. Congrats!
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500 is pretty badass. Glad to have you in my corner EDD
B-Lo. 500 is definitely rarified air. Congrats!
Late to the party again! Congrats brother. This is a great milestone! Congrats!
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500 is pretty badass. Glad to have you in my corner EDD
B-Lo. 500 is definitely rarified air. Congrats!
Late to the party again! Congrats brother. This is a great milestone! Congrats!
Nice 5 hundo B-Lo!
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500 is pretty badass. Glad to have you in my corner EDD
B-Lo. 500 is definitely rarified air. Congrats!
Late to the party again! Congrats brother. This is a great milestone! Congrats!
Nice 5 hundo B-Lo!
Hearty and well-deserved congrats to you sir!
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500 is pretty badass. Glad to have you in my corner EDD
B-Lo. 500 is definitely rarified air. Congrats!
Late to the party again! Congrats brother. This is a great milestone! Congrats!
Nice 5 hundo B-Lo!
Hearty and well-deserved congrats to you sir!
Thank you guys! God bless KTC. I would most likely still be killing myself slavishly with the poison if not for this web site and all the Bad Asses who help and support me! Half comma... Wow. This is freaking awesome!
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500 is pretty badass. Glad to have you in my corner EDD
B-Lo. 500 is definitely rarified air. Congrats!
Late to the party again! Congrats brother. This is a great milestone! Congrats!
Nice 5 hundo B-Lo!
Hearty and well-deserved congrats to you sir!
Thank you guys! God bless KTC. I would most likely still be killing myself slavishly with the poison if not for this web site and all the Bad Asses who help and support me! Half comma... Wow. This is freaking awesome!
That's a lot of days there Matt. You've been a big strength to me. Thanks, and big Congrats!
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500 is pretty badass. Glad to have you in my corner EDD
B-Lo. 500 is definitely rarified air. Congrats!
Late to the party again! Congrats brother. This is a great milestone! Congrats!
Nice 5 hundo B-Lo!
Hearty and well-deserved congrats to you sir!
Thank you guys! God bless KTC. I would most likely still be killing myself slavishly with the poison if not for this web site and all the Bad Asses who help and support me! Half comma... Wow. This is freaking awesome!
That's a lot of days there Matt. You've been a big strength to me. Thanks, and big Congrats!
500 is badass indeed! Great work!
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500 is pretty badass. Glad to have you in my corner EDD
B-Lo. 500 is definitely rarified air. Congrats!
Late to the party again! Congrats brother. This is a great milestone! Congrats!
Nice 5 hundo B-Lo!
Hearty and well-deserved congrats to you sir!
Thank you guys! God bless KTC. I would most likely still be killing myself slavishly with the poison if not for this web site and all the Bad Asses who help and support me! Half comma... Wow. This is freaking awesome!
That's a lot of days there Matt. You've been a big strength to me. Thanks, and big Congrats!
500 is badass indeed! Great work!
500! Nice, congrats!
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500 is pretty badass. Glad to have you in my corner EDD
B-Lo. 500 is definitely rarified air. Congrats!
Late to the party again! Congrats brother. This is a great milestone! Congrats!
Nice 5 hundo B-Lo!
Hearty and well-deserved congrats to you sir!
Thank you guys! God bless KTC. I would most likely still be killing myself slavishly with the poison if not for this web site and all the Bad Asses who help and support me! Half comma... Wow. This is freaking awesome!
That's a lot of days there Matt. You've been a big strength to me. Thanks, and big Congrats!
500 is badass indeed! Great work!
500! Nice, congrats!
Huge number Matt. Congratulations on 500 +1 victories in a row, you're undefeated over the past year and a half and there's no stopping you. Proud to be quitting with you.
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500 is pretty badass. Glad to have you in my corner EDD
B-Lo. 500 is definitely rarified air. Congrats!
Late to the party again! Congrats brother. This is a great milestone! Congrats!
Nice 5 hundo B-Lo!
Hearty and well-deserved congrats to you sir!
Thank you guys! God bless KTC. I would most likely still be killing myself slavishly with the poison if not for this web site and all the Bad Asses who help and support me! Half comma... Wow. This is freaking awesome!
That's a lot of days there Matt. You've been a big strength to me. Thanks, and big Congrats!
500 is badass indeed! Great work!
500! Nice, congrats!
Huge number Matt. Congratulations on 500 +1 victories in a row, you're undefeated over the past year and a half and there's no stopping you. Proud to be quitting with you.
One day at a time. 500 days ago I bet you looked at quitters with numbers like this with a sense of disbelief. Now you are one of those kick ass veterans everyone looks up to.
Proud to quit with you today Matt.
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500 is pretty badass. Glad to have you in my corner EDD
B-Lo. 500 is definitely rarified air. Congrats!
Late to the party again! Congrats brother. This is a great milestone! Congrats!
Nice 5 hundo B-Lo!
Hearty and well-deserved congrats to you sir!
Thank you guys! God bless KTC. I would most likely still be killing myself slavishly with the poison if not for this web site and all the Bad Asses who help and support me! Half comma... Wow. This is freaking awesome!
That's a lot of days there Matt. You've been a big strength to me. Thanks, and big Congrats!
500 is badass indeed! Great work!
500! Nice, congrats!
Huge number Matt. Congratulations on 500 +1 victories in a row, you're undefeated over the past year and a half and there's no stopping you. Proud to be quitting with you.
One day at a time. 500 days ago I bet you looked at quitters with numbers like this with a sense of disbelief. Now you are one of those kick ass veterans everyone looks up to.
Proud to quit with you today Matt.
Congrats on 500 Brother. That's what I'm talking about.
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500 is pretty badass. Glad to have you in my corner EDD
B-Lo. 500 is definitely rarified air. Congrats!
Late to the party again! Congrats brother. This is a great milestone! Congrats!
Nice 5 hundo B-Lo!
Hearty and well-deserved congrats to you sir!
Thank you guys! God bless KTC. I would most likely still be killing myself slavishly with the poison if not for this web site and all the Bad Asses who help and support me! Half comma... Wow. This is freaking awesome!
That's a lot of days there Matt. You've been a big strength to me. Thanks, and big Congrats!
500 is badass indeed! Great work!
500! Nice, congrats!
Huge number Matt. Congratulations on 500 +1 victories in a row, you're undefeated over the past year and a half and there's no stopping you. Proud to be quitting with you.
One day at a time. 500 days ago I bet you looked at quitters with numbers like this with a sense of disbelief. Now you are one of those kick ass veterans everyone looks up to.
Proud to quit with you today Matt.
Congrats on 500 Brother. That's what I'm talking about.
5-hundo...Bad. Ass. Mofo.
Nice work bro -- congrats!
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500 is pretty badass. Glad to have you in my corner EDD
B-Lo. 500 is definitely rarified air. Congrats!
Late to the party again! Congrats brother. This is a great milestone! Congrats!
Nice 5 hundo B-Lo!
Hearty and well-deserved congrats to you sir!
Thank you guys! God bless KTC. I would most likely still be killing myself slavishly with the poison if not for this web site and all the Bad Asses who help and support me! Half comma... Wow. This is freaking awesome!
That's a lot of days there Matt. You've been a big strength to me. Thanks, and big Congrats!
500 is badass indeed! Great work!
500! Nice, congrats!
Huge number Matt. Congratulations on 500 +1 victories in a row, you're undefeated over the past year and a half and there's no stopping you. Proud to be quitting with you.
One day at a time. 500 days ago I bet you looked at quitters with numbers like this with a sense of disbelief. Now you are one of those kick ass veterans everyone looks up to.
Proud to quit with you today Matt.
Congrats on 500 Brother. That's what I'm talking about.
5-hundo...Bad. Ass. Mofo.
Nice work bro -- congrats!
welc0me t the 500 club b-l0. N0 turning back n0w. Keep it up. I have been f0ll0wing y0ur intr0 since day 1. Keep it up
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507- Hitting the 500 day mark feels great! I can't believe how fast time is moving for me again. Day 1 felt like it took months; days 2-7 also felt like forever. The first hundred days were mostly a constant battle, but it became easier as I gained confidence, knowledge, and built my accountability here and at home... HOF-230 or so was a better mix of good days and struggle, but now even when life is a turd sandwich quitting is easy. So glad I found KTC and drank the kool-aide! Not that I don't still have dip dreams or a crave now and then, I do; that is why I stay and post roll EDD, and stay active on KTC. Thanks to everyone here who help make KTC work! Quit on.
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507- Hitting the 500 day mark feels great! I can't believe how fast time is moving for me again. Day 1 felt like it took months; days 2-7 also felt like forever. The first hundred days were mostly a constant battle, but it became easier as I gained confidence, knowledge, and built my accountability here and at home... HOF-230 or so was a better mix of good days and struggle, but now even when life is a turd sandwich quitting is easy. So glad I found KTC and drank the kool-aide! Not that I don't still have dip dreams or a crave now and then, I do; that is why I stay and post roll EDD, and stay active on KTC. Thanks to everyone here who help make KTC work! Quit on.
Matt you are a bad ass among quitters and like many a quitter here I thank you for not only sharing but for also giving a damn outside of your own quit. Keep up the good work.
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This is a true quitters thread right here...
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This is a true quitters thread right here...
You got it. Thanks Matt for all your support!
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This is a true quitters thread right here...
You got it. Thanks Matt for all your support!
What are you feeling now?
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B-lo hitting the 7th floor today - Nice job brother, just a short jump to the two year mark but as always, one day at a time. Congrats brother!
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B-lo hitting the 7th floor today - Nice job brother, just a short jump to the two year mark but as always, one day at a time. Congrats brother!
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B-lo hitting the 7th floor today - Nice job brother, just a short jump to the two year mark but as always, one day at a time. Congrats brother!
Congrats on 700 B-lo! Thanks for staying here. Keep cranking them out bro!
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B-lo hitting the 7th floor today - Nice job brother, just a short jump to the two year mark but as always, one day at a time. Congrats brother!
Congrats on 700 B-lo! Thanks for staying here. Keep cranking them out bro!
Congrats Bro! Way to lead the way for September!
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B-lo hitting the 7th floor today - Nice job brother, just a short jump to the two year mark but as always, one day at a time. Congrats brother!
Congrats on 700 B-lo! Thanks for staying here. Keep cranking them out bro!
Congrats Bro! Way to lead the way for September!
Nice. Man time flies when you are free. Well done Matt.
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B-lo hitting the 7th floor today - Nice job brother, just a short jump to the two year mark but as always, one day at a time. Congrats brother!
Congrats on 700 B-lo! Thanks for staying here. Keep cranking them out bro!
Congrats Bro! Way to lead the way for September!
Nice. Man time flies when you are free. Well done Matt.
Nice 7 spot there B-lo. Your quit ride is one that I'll happily continue trail while you pave the way. Congrats.
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B-lo hitting the 7th floor today - Nice job brother, just a short jump to the two year mark but as always, one day at a time. Congrats brother!
Congrats on 700 B-lo! Thanks for staying here. Keep cranking them out bro!
Congrats Bro! Way to lead the way for September!
Nice. Man time flies when you are free. Well done Matt.
Nice 7 spot there B-lo. Your quit ride is one that I'll happily continue trail while you pave the way. Congrats.
Thanks all for the kind words! Milestones are huge. They help me remember where I was, and I am scared shit-less of ever going back to using nicotine...
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730- Wow, 2 years ago I was still poisoning myself slavishly with skoal apple blend. 2 cans a day every day... I was so scared. Scared I would never be able to quit, scared I would die too young because of the poison, and scared that was powerless... Then 5/28/2013 I jumped into the KTC pool, and I started drinking the kool-aide! The first 100-230 days were filled with frustration, rage, and the anguish of ripping the poison out of my life, but those days were also filled with pride at accomplishing something I had long feared impossible for me. Along the way I have been helped and inspired by so many people here, and I want to thank them for helping me get to such a better place. The first year was full of ups and downs, but the second year has been easy freedom from the poison. The only fear in the second year was complacency and the horror of ever thinking I could have just one. Also sad to see some BAQ leave KTC, but it is nice that they have left because they feel so strong in their quit that they no longer feel they need KTC. Sorry starting to ramble, but just wanted to express my gratitude for KTC and to let the newbs know how much better it gets if you stay the course.
p.s. I am NOT fishing for 2 year kudos so if you stumble on this intro for the first time here don't feel the need to reply congrates, but rather just read this thread
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730- Wow, 2 years ago I was still poisoning myself slavishly with skoal apple blend. 2 cans a day every day... I was so scared. Scared I would never be able to quit, scared I would die too young because of the poison, and scared that was powerless... Then 5/28/2013 I jumped into the KTC pool, and I started drinking the kool-aide! The first 100-230 days were filled with frustration, rage, and the anguish of ripping the poison out of my life, but those days were also filled with pride at accomplishing something I had long feared impossible for me. Along the way I have been helped and inspired by so many people here, and I want to thank them for helping me get to such a better place. The first year was full of ups and downs, but the second year has been easy freedom from the poison. The only fear in the second year was complacency and the horror of ever thinking I could have just one. Also sad to see some BAQ leave KTC, but it is nice that they have left because they feel so strong in their quit that they no longer feel they need KTC. Sorry starting to ramble, but just wanted to express my gratitude for KTC and to let the newbs know how much better it gets if you stay the course.
p.s. I am NOT fishing for 2 year kudos so if you stumble on this intro for the first time here don't feel the need to reply congrates, but rather just read this thread
Too bad Matt. Heres some Kudos. You were one of the first that replied to me when I first quit. You gave me hope that it could be done. So thanks Brother! Congrats on 2 years of Freedom! 'oh yeah' 'wave'
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730- Wow, 2 years ago I was still poisoning myself slavishly with skoal apple blend. 2 cans a day every day... I was so scared. Scared I would never be able to quit, scared I would die too young because of the poison, and scared that was powerless... Then 5/28/2013 I jumped into the KTC pool, and I started drinking the kool-aide! The first 100-230 days were filled with frustration, rage, and the anguish of ripping the poison out of my life, but those days were also filled with pride at accomplishing something I had long feared impossible for me. Along the way I have been helped and inspired by so many people here, and I want to thank them for helping me get to such a better place. The first year was full of ups and downs, but the second year has been easy freedom from the poison. The only fear in the second year was complacency and the horror of ever thinking I could have just one. Also sad to see some BAQ leave KTC, but it is nice that they have left because they feel so strong in their quit that they no longer feel they need KTC. Sorry starting to ramble, but just wanted to express my gratitude for KTC and to let the newbs know how much better it gets if you stay the course.
p.s. I am NOT fishing for 2 year kudos so if you stumble on this intro for the first time here don't feel the need to reply congrates, but rather just read this thread
Too bad Matt. Heres some Kudos. You were one of the first that replied to me when I first quit. You gave me hope that it could be done. So thanks Brother! Congrats on 2 years of Freedom! 'oh yeah' 'wave'
Big congrats and thanks! keep showing up! 'oh yeah'
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730- Wow, 2 years ago I was still poisoning myself slavishly with skoal apple blend. 2 cans a day every day... I was so scared. Scared I would never be able to quit, scared I would die too young because of the poison, and scared that was powerless... Then 5/28/2013 I jumped into the KTC pool, and I started drinking the kool-aide! The first 100-230 days were filled with frustration, rage, and the anguish of ripping the poison out of my life, but those days were also filled with pride at accomplishing something I had long feared impossible for me. Along the way I have been helped and inspired by so many people here, and I want to thank them for helping me get to such a better place. The first year was full of ups and downs, but the second year has been easy freedom from the poison. The only fear in the second year was complacency and the horror of ever thinking I could have just one. Also sad to see some BAQ leave KTC, but it is nice that they have left because they feel so strong in their quit that they no longer feel they need KTC. Sorry starting to ramble, but just wanted to express my gratitude for KTC and to let the newbs know how much better it gets if you stay the course.
p.s. I am NOT fishing for 2 year kudos so if you stumble on this intro for the first time here don't feel the need to reply congrates, but rather just read this thread
Too bad Matt. Heres some Kudos. You were one of the first that replied to me when I first quit. You gave me hope that it could be done. So thanks Brother! Congrats on 2 years of Freedom! 'oh yeah' 'wave'
Big congrats and thanks! keep showing up! 'oh yeah'
Big thumbs up. Those that leave KTC leave a crack open for the poison to sneak back in. We don't do stupid shit like that.
I'll raise a toast to you tonight, Matt. Congratulations.
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730- Wow, 2 years ago I was still poisoning myself slavishly with skoal apple blend. 2 cans a day every day... I was so scared. Scared I would never be able to quit, scared I would die too young because of the poison, and scared that was powerless... Then 5/28/2013 I jumped into the KTC pool, and I started drinking the kool-aide! The first 100-230 days were filled with frustration, rage, and the anguish of ripping the poison out of my life, but those days were also filled with pride at accomplishing something I had long feared impossible for me. Along the way I have been helped and inspired by so many people here, and I want to thank them for helping me get to such a better place. The first year was full of ups and downs, but the second year has been easy freedom from the poison. The only fear in the second year was complacency and the horror of ever thinking I could have just one. Also sad to see some BAQ leave KTC, but it is nice that they have left because they feel so strong in their quit that they no longer feel they need KTC. Sorry starting to ramble, but just wanted to express my gratitude for KTC and to let the newbs know how much better it gets if you stay the course.
p.s. I am NOT fishing for 2 year kudos so if you stumble on this intro for the first time here don't feel the need to reply congrates, but rather just read this thread
Too bad Matt. Heres some Kudos. You were one of the first that replied to me when I first quit. You gave me hope that it could be done. So thanks Brother! Congrats on 2 years of Freedom! 'oh yeah' 'wave'
Big congrats and thanks! keep showing up! 'oh yeah'
Big thumbs up. Those that leave KTC leave a crack open for the poison to sneak back in. We don't do stupid shit like that.
I'll raise a toast to you tonight, Matt. Congratulations.
Well said Blo, I love you man. When I get to Buffalo (soon to near never) you will get a big ass kiss from this slut. EDD with you!!!
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730- Wow, 2 years ago I was still poisoning myself slavishly with skoal apple blend. 2 cans a day every day... I was so scared. Scared I would never be able to quit, scared I would die too young because of the poison, and scared that was powerless... Then 5/28/2013 I jumped into the KTC pool, and I started drinking the kool-aide! The first 100-230 days were filled with frustration, rage, and the anguish of ripping the poison out of my life, but those days were also filled with pride at accomplishing something I had long feared impossible for me. Along the way I have been helped and inspired by so many people here, and I want to thank them for helping me get to such a better place. The first year was full of ups and downs, but the second year has been easy freedom from the poison. The only fear in the second year was complacency and the horror of ever thinking I could have just one. Also sad to see some BAQ leave KTC, but it is nice that they have left because they feel so strong in their quit that they no longer feel they need KTC. Sorry starting to ramble, but just wanted to express my gratitude for KTC and to let the newbs know how much better it gets if you stay the course.
p.s. I am NOT fishing for 2 year kudos so if you stumble on this intro for the first time here don't feel the need to reply congrates, but rather just read this thread
Too bad Matt. Heres some Kudos. You were one of the first that replied to me when I first quit. You gave me hope that it could be done. So thanks Brother! Congrats on 2 years of Freedom! 'oh yeah' 'wave'
Big congrats and thanks! keep showing up! 'oh yeah'
Big thumbs up. Those that leave KTC leave a crack open for the poison to sneak back in. We don't do stupid shit like that.
I'll raise a toast to you tonight, Matt. Congratulations.
Well said Blo, I love you man. When I get to Buffalo (soon to near never) you will get a big ass kiss from this slut. EDD with you!!!
Fine. You get no congratulatory remarks from me for your 2 years of badassery and role-model quit. Nope, no need to say that you're as respected a quitter as they come.
Despite my lack of acknowledgements and accolades, I will second your last statement. If you want to learn a thing or two about quitting, click on page 1 of this thread and get reading. I did and I'm better for it.
(You rock brother!)
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1,000 day bad ass!
Congratulations on the comma! Enjoy your celebration tonight, and thanks for all of your support. You are the man!
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1,000 day bad ass!
Congratulations on the comma! Enjoy your celebration tonight, and thanks for all of your support. You are the man!
B-lo, huge congrats for you brother. You've been a quitter I've followed throughout my young quit and one who has been a rock. Let that comma dangle my friend.
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1,000 day bad ass!
Congratulations on the comma! Enjoy your celebration tonight, and thanks for all of your support. You are the man!
B-lo, huge congrats for you brother. You've been a quitter I've followed throughout my young quit and one who has been a rock. Let that comma dangle my friend.
Thanks so much guys :) 1,001 is even better!!
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1,000 day bad ass!
Congratulations on the comma! Enjoy your celebration tonight, and thanks for all of your support. You are the man!
B-lo, huge congrats for you brother. You've been a quitter I've followed throughout my young quit and one who has been a rock. Let that comma dangle my friend.
Thanks so much guys :) 1,001 is even better!!
I missed this yesterday. Congrats on your comma! You are truly a badass quitter and a HUGE help to me in the beginning! Thank you.
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Decided to jump out of my group for a while and just spent the last hour or two reading all 27 pages of this thread. Worth every minute. Amazing, eye-opening, inspiring, real and a ton of other adjectives. Thank you for sharing your ongoing journey. I fully realize there is no end to your story, or mine. We just have to keep cranking forward ODAAT! I'm at day 36 with the April 2016 group. I'm going to send them here to read this as a great example of what we need to do and to see the kind of support you and your fellow quit brothers served up to each other.
CONGRATULATIONS ON 1000... that is awesome - I'm just 964 days behind you!
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Decided to jump out of my group for a while and just spent the last hour or two reading all 27 pages of this thread. Worth every minute. Amazing, eye-opening, inspiring, real and a ton of other adjectives. Thank you for sharing your ongoing journey. I fully realize there is no end to your story, or mine. We just have to keep cranking forward ODAAT! I'm at day 36 with the April 2016 group. I'm going to send them here to read this as a great example of what we need to do and to see the kind of support you and your fellow quit brothers served up to each other.
CONGRATULATIONS ON 1000... that is awesome - I'm just 964 days behind you!
This is one of the greatest posts I've ever read on this site. Ever.
Vets like Matt keep posting every day to help keep themselves accountable and build accountability, and new quitters like you provide tremendous inspiration this post made my day.
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1,000 day bad ass!
Congratulations on the comma! Enjoy your celebration tonight, and thanks for all of your support. You are the man!
B-lo, huge congrats for you brother. You've been a quitter I've followed throughout my young quit and one who has been a rock. Let that comma dangle my friend.
Thanks so much guys :) 1,001 is even better!!
I missed this yesterday. Congrats on your comma! You are truly a badass quitter and a HUGE help to me in the beginning! Thank you.
Man, I'm late too! Happy comma Matt! Loved seeing this roll up! Congrats my brother... well done!
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1,000 day bad ass!
Congratulations on the comma! Enjoy your celebration tonight, and thanks for all of your support. You are the man!
B-lo, huge congrats for you brother. You've been a quitter I've followed throughout my young quit and one who has been a rock. Let that comma dangle my friend.
Thanks so much guys :) 1,001 is even better!!
I missed this yesterday. Congrats on your comma! You are truly a badass quitter and a HUGE help to me in the beginning! Thank you.
Man, I'm late too! Happy comma Matt! Loved seeing this roll up! Congrats my brother... well done!
Yaaaaaasssss! Congrats on day 1000!
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1,000 day bad ass!
Congratulations on the comma! Enjoy your celebration tonight, and thanks for all of your support. You are the man!
B-lo, huge congrats for you brother. You've been a quitter I've followed throughout my young quit and one who has been a rock. Let that comma dangle my friend.
Thanks so much guys :) 1,001 is even better!!
I missed this yesterday. Congrats on your comma! You are truly a badass quitter and a HUGE help to me in the beginning! Thank you.
Man, I'm late too! Happy comma Matt! Loved seeing this roll up! Congrats my brother... well done!
Yaaaaaasssss! Congrats on day 1000!
Congrats Dude!
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1,000 day bad ass!
Congratulations on the comma! Enjoy your celebration tonight, and thanks for all of your support. You are the man!
B-lo, huge congrats for you brother. You've been a quitter I've followed throughout my young quit and one who has been a rock. Let that comma dangle my friend.
Thanks so much guys :) 1,001 is even better!!
I missed this yesterday. Congrats on your comma! You are truly a badass quitter and a HUGE help to me in the beginning! Thank you.
Man, I'm late too! Happy comma Matt! Loved seeing this roll up! Congrats my brother... well done!
Yaaaaaasssss! Congrats on day 1000!
Congrats Dude!
Wow.....just......Wow! Awesome my brother just awesome!
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Congratulations Matt!
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1,151- Been awhile since I needed to write anything here, but I had a dip dream last night... I don't recall much just that at some point in my dream I realized I had a fat turd of poison in my gob, and I freaked out. It bothered me in my dream, but being awake and thinking about it what bothers me the most is the fact that I don't recall making the choice to cave, but it just happened before I realized it in my dream. I went through my anti caving plan, and made sure I still have the KTC contract to give up in my wallet (I do). I feel great now because I am QLF, and only in a nightmare do I not have a choice about caving. I do NOT chose to cave. EVER.
Peace
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1,151- Been awhile since I needed to write anything here, but I had a dip dream last night... I don't recall much just that at some point in my dream I realized I had a fat turd of poison in my gob, and I freaked out. It bothered me in my dream, but being awake and thinking about it what bothers me the most is the fact that I don't recall making the choice to cave, but it just happened before I realized it in my dream. I went through my anti caving plan, and made sure I still have the KTC contract to give up in my wallet (I do). I feel great now because I am QLF, and only in a nightmare do I not have a choice about caving. I do NOT chose to cave. EVER.
Peace
This is how you nurture a quit. For the long haul, not deciding you are done then blowing the principles off. Nice job Matt thanks for posting and sharing this piece -- pure role model here quitters, notice how he does it!
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I had a dip dream last night.....what bothers me the most is the fact that I don't recall making the choice to cave, but it just happened before I realized it in my dream....
If it's any consolation, I too had a dream the other night. Where I "don't recall making the choice to" go to work naked." But it just happened and before I realized it in my dream" people were coming in and out of my office where I sat behind a very small school sized desk, and I was just hoping and praying none of them would notice that I didn't have any pants on! 'help'
Perhaps your dream is a sign that you've NOT become complacent in your quit and subconsciously you still worry about loosing what you worked so hard for. Then again that may just be the ramblings of a man whose afraid of getting caught naked at work again!
I read through some of your intro(I plan to finish it later). Thanks for keeping a journal as you have. It inspiring. To be able to look back when you joined and see how you where struggling just like I have been and then to see you're at day 1152 today gives me hope that I can make it too.
Stay quit brother.