KillTheCan.org Accountability Forum
Community => Introductions => Topic started by: grovermuldoon on December 14, 2012, 11:27:00 AM
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Just gonna rant - sorry if long winded but i need to get this out there. I was 16 when i had my first dip. passed out cold. Didn't really pick it up that much until college. Smoked cigarettes too, liked that more for a while. But people smell that on you and they see it - there's no hiding it. Eventually realized dipping was easier to hide - i've actually never said that aloud. I'm not supposed to dip - i'm college educated, have a law degree, and a successful practice. This is intended to sound obnoxious. I feel like a fucking hypocritical douche. Guys who dip are redneck fucking hicks without brains. Not me, I'm better than that. Well, apparently not. I woke up the other day to realize I'm 40 years old and go through a tin a day of skoal straight. Sometimes more if my wife is out of town. I dip to and from work in the car where no one can see me. I dip while taking a shit on the toilet. My wife doesn't know i dip, and when she asks, I lie. When she has caught me, I make up some bull shit. I lie to everyone. I hide it from everyone. I'm not telling anyone ever, except on here I guess - and this took some effort. Feels good though. The shame and guilt are awful, but I guess not as awful as the prospect of orphaning my kids. My last dip was this past Monday around 6:30pm. Still have the shakes occasionally, and gained five pounds. I never ask for help, with anything. But I have a feeling this may be tough to do alone. Just knowing someone is reading this is cool.
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Just gonna rant - sorry if long winded but i need to get this out there. I was 16 when i had my first dip. passed out cold. Didn't really pick it up that much until college. Smoked cigarettes too, liked that more for a while. But people smell that on you and they see it - there's no hiding it. Eventually realized dipping was easier to hide - i've actually never said that aloud. I'm not supposed to dip - i'm college educated, have a law degree, and a successful practice. This is intended to sound obnoxious. I feel like a fucking hypocritical douche. Guys who dip are redneck fucking hicks without brains. Not me, I'm better than that. Well, apparently not. I woke up the other day to realize I'm 40 years old and go through a tin a day of skoal straight. Sometimes more if my wife is out of town. I dip to and from work in the car where no one can see me. I dip while taking a shit on the toilet. My wife doesn't know i dip, and when she asks, I lie. When she has caught me, I make up some bull shit. I lie to everyone. I hide it from everyone. I'm not telling anyone ever, except on here I guess - and this took some effort. Feels good though. The shame and guilt are awful, but I guess not as awful as the prospect of orphaning my kids. My last dip was this past Monday around 6:30pm. Still have the shakes occasionally, and gained five pounds. I never ask for help, with anything. But I have a feeling this may be tough to do alone. Just knowing someone is reading this is cool.
A very similar story as to alot of us on here (though personally I did not ninja dip and the wife knew, am 41 years old, dipped for 23+ years).
I can tell you that you have come to the right place as without it here, I could not have stayed quit for the 166 days that I am. It is a fight and these family here are on your side and will help you if you let them and join in.
So get ready and prepare yourself for the fight. Also prepare to break this to your wife as you will want her support as well as letting her know what you are going through is because of the addicted mind and that it is not just you..
I quit with you today, and do it one day at a time.
I never wish luck, I am there though to help you do the quit.
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grovermuldoon - welcome.
We have a lot in common, that being ninja dippers. I hid it from everyone in the world for 16 years. I'm forty, have kids, all the bullshit you do (no law degree though).
The difference seems to be the reason to quit. You got sick of it. I got a health scare from the dentist. Whatever the reason, we are quit. Quitting is difficult. After 66 days quit the thought of having a dip is still the most predominant thought in my head.
My wife and kids will be gone all day Saturday and won't be home until Sunday evening. Prime time for dipping and caving. What am I going to do aside from going crazy and battling demons in my head?
I am going to stick close to this site. Log into live chat for support. Use every tool I have learned here. I will use the phone numbers of the many quit bros before I think of caving knowing that they will keep me quit.
Stick around, read a lot, get involved, stay quit.
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I saw this site last year, about the same time. I quit for a whole month then. Tryingt again. I'm using that non-dip type stuff now. Hooch, bacc off, bought a couple others two. anyone have any good experiences with this stuff? It actually helps a little. i think. i hear people use nicorette, but i've also read that nicotine is out of your blood stream in three days, and i dont want it back in. I did smoke a few cigarettes this week after quitting on monday. last one was yesterday. told myself if was different to smoke. it isnt. if someone can help me - am i supposed to join a group on here? Am i supposed to post something to this thread every day? Not sure as ive never done this before obviously.
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I saw this site last year, about the same time. I quit for a whole month then. Tryingt again. I'm using that non-dip type stuff now. Hooch, bacc off, bought a couple others two. anyone have any good experiences with this stuff? It actually helps a little. i think. i hear people use nicorette, but i've also read that nicotine is out of your blood stream in three days, and i dont want it back in. I did smoke a few cigarettes this week after quitting on monday. last one was yesterday. told myself if was different to smoke. it isnt. if someone can help me - am i supposed to join a group on here? Am i supposed to post something to this thread every day? Not sure as ive never done this before obviously.
I used Hooch and Smokey Mountain at the same rate as when I dipped. Would like to think it was a success. As now I barely use any of it....though did find out I liked sunflower seeds....
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I saw this site last year, about the same time. I quit for a whole month then. Tryingt again. I'm using that non-dip type stuff now. Hooch, bacc off, bought a couple others two. anyone have any good experiences with this stuff? It actually helps a little. i think. i hear people use nicorette, but i've also read that nicotine is out of your blood stream in three days, and i dont want it back in. I did smoke a few cigarettes this week after quitting on monday. last one was yesterday. told myself if was different to smoke. it isnt. if someone can help me - am i supposed to join a group on here? Am i supposed to post something to this thread every day? Not sure as ive never done this before obviously.
Here's the scoop grover. this is a NO NICOTINE place. No dip, no cigarettes, no cigars, no GUM, no PATCHES. You shouldn't even find yourself kissing some sideways looking whore who just stamped out a cigarette. No Nicotine AT ALL.
You smoked yesterday. you're here today. You're QUIT today. Today is day one. You should be in the March 2013 quit group. Check out the welcome center on the top link-bank - it's the salmon colored link - that will tell you what you need to do.
The best advice I ever got when I came here was to read, read and read. When I was done reading, read some more.
Welcome to the suck. Go post roll.
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grovermuldoon,
First off, great desicion to quit killing yourself. Second, at some point you are going to have to "own" your quit. You will have to admit to yourself and the rest of the world that you are an addict.
Post roll every morning, promise not to use "any" form of nicotine that day and keep your promise till your head hits the pillow and you drift off to sleep. Get up the next morning and do it all over again. See you only need to worry about keeping your promise today, Oh and admit to yourself that your an Addict (it really does help).
I Quit with you today brother!
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I saw this site last year, about the same time. I quit for a whole month then. Tryingt again. I'm using that non-dip type stuff now. Hooch, bacc off, bought a couple others two. anyone have any good experiences with this stuff? It actually helps a little. i think. i hear people use nicorette, but i've also read that nicotine is out of your blood stream in three days, and i dont want it back in. I did smoke a few cigarettes this week after quitting on monday. last one was yesterday. told myself if was different to smoke. it isnt. if someone can help me - am i supposed to join a group on here? Am i supposed to post something to this thread every day? Not sure as ive never done this before obviously.
you didn't quit last year - if you had you wouldn't be here - you stopped using for a month - you had a pause not a quit. We quit here, that's what this site is all about - it's tough but you all ready know that. this site will be the best tool you have ever used if your word is worth a damn. (did you sign up here last year?) Like per said, start your reading with the "welcome center" it covers the basics...
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Welcome to KTC. I'm on Day 14 of being Quit after 25 years a can a day. I'm also in the March Group. These guys here are hardcore and I love it. You have to be to quit this addiction. One Veteran guy posted a week ago "Hope is for pussies. Real men Quit!" I chuckled to myself and thought this is what I need.
Welcome!! I will quit with you today. We Post Roll every morning. If you miss Roll you'll hear about it. Sunflower seeds, gum, Smokey Mountain (some..I hate spending $$ on that shit) and lots of water gets me through the day. Also this website and my loving family.
KC Bronco--Member of March Madness
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At age 44 I had dipped for 29 years. Well over half of my life. Then I realized I used up about half of my livable life. I did not want to be addicted for the next half of my life. I certainly did not want to make the next half shorter. Many attempts had been made to quit with all of the bullshit methods, prescriptions and nicotene replacements. The only method that has worked for me, has been posting here daily. I am now quit for 930 days. Embrace this site. You may be humbled to know you share something with all types of individual. Other lawyers, cops, firefighters, women, teenagers, military, mechanics, high school drop outs, professional baseball players, bull riders, etc. etc. etc. You're still an addict. Being clean of the nic is a wonderful feeling. Welcome.
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I am you except I am clean for 735 days now. I am the biggest ninja douche ever. If you will commit to posting roll every day I commit to helping you in any maner you need. I get it. I also know it can be done. It also know it is worth it.
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Guys who dip are redneck fucking hicks without brains.
'Finger' eye tayke affins 2 thaat u sitee slikr
In all seriousness though, I'll quit with you any damned day. PM me if I can do anything to help your quit.
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I'm currently a law student who dipped in class, summer jobs, clerking you name it. You would be surprised how many attorneys, law students, doctors, and other professionals use the stuff. There is no difference what your profession is, nicotine does not discriminate. Stay strong man, we're all here for you.
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Thanks brothers. Didn't mean to offend anyone. Just meant I think I'm so fucking smart so I should be better than an addict. The irony is fucking amazing really. My mom smoke 40 years ago and I give her shit for it. Like there's any difference.....
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Just offering my two cents to anyone who will listen....I've said it before, and I'll say it again. This site is saving my life. I have no idea how our moderators and admins, etc. run and pay for this site....there's only so many HOF items you can sell. At least I would think....
So, since they won't ask you guys for a penny, I just made a donation. You guys should at least consider it too. I'm on day 16. I paid $8 bucks a tin and have now saved about $150.
Even if you give the site a $5 donation, I would think it would help.
Like I said, just my two cents...
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Thanks Grover, I just ordered some donations from this link: http://store.killthecan.org/donations-a ... /donations (http://store.killthecan.org/donations-and-games/donations) using PayPal. Took all of a minute.
If that is not the best/easiest way to contribute, just let me know.
Aaron
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Yup. I did the same. Sirderek told me about it.
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Just offering my two cents to anyone who will listen....I've said it before, and I'll say it again. This site is saving my life. I have no idea how our moderators and admins, etc. run and pay for this site....there's only so many HOF items you can sell. At least I would think....
So, since they won't ask you guys for a penny, I just made a donation. You guys should at least consider it too. I'm on day 16. I paid $8 bucks a tin and have now saved about $150.
Even if you give the site a $5 donation, I would think it would help.
Like I said, just my two cents...
on weekends and every other tuesday, Loot, Chewie, Mule and Remshot, stand on their assigned corners and offer "dates" . 50% of the profit goes to maintain Kill the can. The rest of us mods dance topless at applebees for tips.
To my knowledge, All the money that runs the site is based on donations, product sales, and directly out of the admins pocket. This place is a labor of love. I'm sure a donation would be welcome.
Also , Applebees has banned Gmann from dancing since he keeps taking off his pants and prancing around the salad bar, so I'm guessing we could use the money.
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Just offering my two cents to anyone who will listen....I've said it before, and I'll say it again. This site is saving my life. I have no idea how our moderators and admins, etc. run and pay for this site....there's only so many HOF items you can sell. At least I would think....
So, since they won't ask you guys for a penny, I just made a donation. You guys should at least consider it too. I'm on day 16. I paid $8 bucks a tin and have now saved about $150.Â
Even if you give the site a $5 donation, I would think it would help.
Like I said, just my two cents...
on weekends and every other tuesday, Loot, Chewie, Mule and Remshot, stand on their assigned corners and offer "dates" . 50% of the profit goes to maintain Kill the can. The rest of us mods dance topless at applebees for tips.
To my knowledge, All the money that runs the site is based on donations, product sales, and directly out of the admins pocket. This place is a labor of love. I'm sure a donation would be welcome.
Also , Applebees has banned Gmann from dancing since he keeps taking off his pants and prancing around the salad bar, so I'm guessing we could use the money.
Thanks for the image. I just threw up in my mouth.
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Just offering my two cents to anyone who will listen....I've said it before, and I'll say it again. This site is saving my life. I have no idea how our moderators and admins, etc. run and pay for this site....there's only so many HOF items you can sell. At least I would think....
So, since they won't ask you guys for a penny, I just made a donation. You guys should at least consider it too. I'm on day 16. I paid $8 bucks a tin and have now saved about $150.Â
Even if you give the site a $5 donation, I would think it would help.
Like I said, just my two cents...
on weekends and every other tuesday, Loot, Chewie, Mule and Remshot, stand on their assigned corners and offer "dates" . 50% of the profit goes to maintain Kill the can. The rest of us mods dance topless at applebees for tips.
To my knowledge, All the money that runs the site is based on donations, product sales, and directly out of the admins pocket. This place is a labor of love. I'm sure a donation would be welcome.
Also , Applebees has banned Gmann from dancing since he keeps taking off his pants and prancing around the salad bar, so I'm guessing we could use the money.
Thanks for the image. I just threw up in my mouth.
Bail money is always welcome :)
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Day 18. something just feels different today. Started yesterday actually. Put my son in for a nap yesterday at around 1pm. He's usually good for 2 hours. My wife was out with my daughter. The usual Sunday really. For us with two kids, it's really divide and conquer. Football Sunday and my apartment to myself. Could there be a bigger trigger??? Not for me. But no real crave. Couple of PM's and texts to my boys and all is good.
If you are even newer than me, read this site all fucking day every day. I read something new every chance I get. If there's one thing I have found here - every single one of us is the exact same person just with a different number after their name. My life couldn't be much different than some of my buds but we all share an addiction that makes us the same. I didn't see that until now.
Now if I could just be the first person to post roll one morning - some of you bastards must get up really early!
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Day 18. something just feels different today. Started yesterday actually. Put my son in for a nap yesterday at around 1pm. He's usually good for 2 hours. My wife was out with my daughter. The usual Sunday really. For us with two kids, it's really divide and conquer. Football Sunday and my apartment to myself. Could there be a bigger trigger??? Not for me. But no real crave. Couple of PM's and texts to my boys and all is good.
If you are even newer than me, read this site all fucking day every day. I read something new every chance I get. If there's one thing I have found here - every single one of us is the exact same person just with a different number after their name. My life couldn't be much different than some of my buds but we all share an addiction that makes us the same. I didn't see that until now.
Now if I could just be the first person to post roll one morning - some of you bastards must get up really early!
Now if I could just be the first person to post roll one morning - some of you bastards must get up really early!
I hear you brother!
Another place I found on the site that is good to read are the other quit pages. See some of the trials other groups and people are going through. Also helps to get to know those guys. Take a look at someone that posts support on our page and return the favor by posting support on there's. ready while you are visiting.
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I can't say this enough to all of you: thank you for saving my life. It's difficult to say that without tears in my eyes. This site really means that much to me. Again, thank you all. Today may be the beginning of a new year, but it's just another day to quit.