KillTheCan.org Accountability Forum
Community => Introductions => Topic started by: nori on June 02, 2016, 02:00:00 PM
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I'm on Day 7 of my quit, been reading the forums for a few days but wasn't ready to post roll yet. I wanted to know for myself that I was really in this before I made the committment, and that it wasn't just "let's just wait and see what happens."
It's been a pretty shitty week in a lot of ways, but not for the reasons that most of you seem to have had. I smoked regularly but moderately for about 6 years, and then chewed moderately for about another 5-6 years after that. I was never a pack-a-day/can-a-day kinda guy. I usually either smoked or chewed three times a day and it never really got beyond that. I was definitely a ninja dipper, and not a very good one. My wife hated it, asked me to stop or if I couldn't stop to at least not lie to her about it, and I couldn't do either one. Made me feel like shit all the time. And I kept telling myself that I would quit one day, just not today. Maybe after the holidays are over, or after I get through this hard part at work...you all know the story.
So last week we were packing up for our Memorial Day trip. I left the house in the morning to run some errands and put in a plug of tobacco since I was away from the family. I was at a drug store buying batteries, and they had one of those blood pressure machines there. I've never had a problem with high blood pressure in the past, I eat pretty well, and although I'm slightly overweight I'm getting a lot more exercise these days. So I was pretty shocked when it came back saying that my blood pressure wasn't just high, it was very high. Like "call your doctor" high.
Not surprisingly, that freaked me the f*** out. It was like having cold water thrown in my face. And I just said then and there, "enough with this shit. If it's even remotely possible that tobacco is contributing to this, there's absolutely no way I'm doing it any more." I was getting ready to go camping with my kids for the weekend and I realized that if I didn't get this under control, I may never have another Memorial Day camping trip with them again.
I'll write more in a bit, but wanna make sure that this gets saved since I'm spending time writing it ;)
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So more about my week...
When I got back home, I took the cans I'd stashed in the hiding place in the car back out and put them inside the house. I couldn't bring myself to throw them out yet, but I at least put them somewhere where I couldn't get to them for at least four days over the holiday. And pretty much, that was that.
It's been pretty easy for me so far. No really noticeable physical symptoms, maybe because I used less than some others (but I did still chew daily). Or maybe I was just so freaked out about my blood pressure that I wasn't even paying attention to whatever else was going on in my body. Or could have been because I was surrounded by family, having tons of fun camping, swimming, and biking around. Probably a combo of all of those. But here I am seven days later and I'm pretty sure it's gonna stick.
I read a note from someone else who sounded like they had a similar experience - they basically just stopped chewing one day to see how long it would last, and then two years later it was still going. This may sound weird but in a messed up way I'm kinda envious of you guys who had really painful withdrawal symptoms. You *know* what that's like, and what it means that you're having them, and that you don't ever wanna go through that again. My biggest fear is that because it's felt pretty easy (so far) to quit, one day I'm likely to say "well, since it was so easy to quit, it can't really hurt that much to have some with my buddies this one time while we're watching the game." I need to remember that if it was really that easy, I would have quit years ago, and not when some machine told me I needed to worry about my heart exploding.
So if you've made it this far, just one question I have for y'all: has anyone else had experience with their blood pressure going up or down because of tobacco? Either short term or long term? I had my BP taken again today and if anything it was slightly higher than before the long weekend. So I'm like, WTF. If I stopped a week ago, and nic is supposed to be out of your body in 72 hours, then why is my BP going up instead of down?
I have a doc's appointment later today so I'll probably get some answers then. It's just some scary shit waiting until then.
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So more about my week...
When I got back home, I took the cans I'd stashed in the hiding place in the car back out and put them inside the house. I couldn't bring myself to throw them out yet, but I at least put them somewhere where I couldn't get to them for at least four days over the holiday. And pretty much, that was that.
It's been pretty easy for me so far. No really noticeable physical symptoms, maybe because I used less than some others (but I did still chew daily). Or maybe I was just so freaked out about my blood pressure that I wasn't even paying attention to whatever else was going on in my body. Or could have been because I was surrounded by family, having tons of fun camping, swimming, and biking around. Probably a combo of all of those. But here I am seven days later and I'm pretty sure it's gonna stick.
I read a note from someone else who sounded like they had a similar experience - they basically just stopped chewing one day to see how long it would last, and then two years later it was still going. This may sound weird but in a messed up way I'm kinda envious of you guys who had really painful withdrawal symptoms. You *know* what that's like, and what it means that you're having them, and that you don't ever wanna go through that again. My biggest fear is that because it's felt pretty easy (so far) to quit, one day I'm likely to say "well, since it was so easy to quit, it can't really hurt that much to have some with my buddies this one time while we're watching the game." I need to remember that if it was really that easy, I would have quit years ago, and not when some machine told me I needed to worry about my heart exploding.
So if you've made it this far, just one question I have for y'all: has anyone else had experience with their blood pressure going up or down because of tobacco? Either short term or long term? I had my BP taken again today and if anything it was slightly higher than before the long weekend. So I'm like, WTF. If I stopped a week ago, and nic is supposed to be out of your body in 72 hours, then why is my BP going up instead of down?
I have a doc's appointment later today so I'll probably get some answers then. It's just some scary shit waiting until then.
Nori,
Glad to see you're made the decision to quit. I've only been quit for 10 days. I've had some symptoms but they really only lasted a few days. Its the "associations" that are tough.
Have you joined the August quit group yet? that's what this site is about. Quitting and staying quit through accountability.
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Yeah, blood pressure, cholesterol, triglycerides, lots of things. Nicotine is not good for the blood, or any other part of your body. Ask your doctor about it.
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So more about my week...
When I got back home, I took the cans I'd stashed in the hiding place in the car back out and put them inside the house. I couldn't bring myself to throw them out yet, but I at least put them somewhere where I couldn't get to them for at least four days over the holiday.
Couldn't tell from your note if you still have the tins stashed. Do you? If you're serious about quitting you should dump those damn things immediately, otherwise it's just another temptation. Hold a funeral if you have to, but get them out of the house and out of your life. My two cents.
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So more about my week...
When I got back home, I took the cans I'd stashed in the hiding place in the car back out and put them inside the house. I couldn't bring myself to throw them out yet, but I at least put them somewhere where I couldn't get to them for at least four days over the holiday.
Couldn't tell from your note if you still have the tins stashed. Do you? If you're serious about quitting you should dump those damn things immediately, otherwise it's just another temptation. Hold a funeral if you have to, but get them out of the house and out of your life. My two cents.
^^^ yep.
What happens if your BP goes down and doc says it is all good. back to the cancer tins???
Join up, post roll, never go back or ...
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Nori- I was close to a can a day for 15 years. i'm 83 days quit today. blood pressure is/was an issue as well. I've had high blood pressure for the last 5 years or more, always noting in my mind that nicotine was likely the culprit- but still not quite ready to quit... maybe after the Holiday. Maybe after the Summer. But now football season is here, so.... you get it.
I also had horrible blood circulation. I would lose feeling in my feet and my toes would be ghost white. that has completely gone away.
about 20 days in to my quit i tested my blood pressure. still high. haven't checked it since. but i will soon and report back.
i will tell you that one thing I've learned through reading and reflecting is that there is no safe amount to use. your brain will continue to push the envelope and your dosage will increase with time. stay quit bro.
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Couldn't tell from your note if you still have the tins stashed. Do you? If you're serious about quitting you should dump those damn things immediately, otherwise it's just another temptation. Hold a funeral if you have to, but get them out of the house and out of your life. My two cents.
Haven't tossed them yet, but honestly it's because it's because I hadn't really made the decision to quit until I was about 6 days in. Then yesterday I was at the doc all day, and that was the first time I posted roll. I didn't want to do it until I felt like I was really ready to do it. But yeah, I hear you - no need to have the temptation around. I'll dump them when I get home tonight.
Strangely, I haven't really had the temptation to fish them out and use them. Maybe it's because it's only been a week, or maybe it's because this blood pressure thing put the fear of God into me. Every once in a while I'm sitting at my desk at work and want to pop some in - I think for me that's going to be the hardest part to have the discipline not to do. At home, it's been pretty easy. No more ninja dipping equals more quality time with my family (and more sleep), so I don't really feel tempted there.
Just to keep things real, though, I'll post back here to y'all once I dump them tonight.
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Nori- I was close to a can a day for 15 years. i'm 83 days quit today. blood pressure is/was an issue as well. I've had high blood pressure for the last 5 years or more, always noting in my mind that nicotine was likely the culprit- but still not quite ready to quit... maybe after the Holiday. Maybe after the Summer. But now football season is here, so.... you get it.
about 20 days in to my quit i tested my blood pressure. still high. haven't checked it since. but i will soon and report back.
It'd be great to hear from you (or others) what you've seen regarding change in blood pressure after quitting. Peace of mind and all that.
The update from yesterday is that I was having panic attacks all day before I went to the doc. I'm a raging hypocondriac. And so even though blood pressure is nothing to joke about, I was walking around all day feeling like I was gonna have a heart attack right then. Finally got to the doc in the afternoon and he was basically like, "yep. High blood pressure. Seen it 1,000 times." They put me on meds (which may or may not be permanent). Obviously he told me to stay off the chew, but he told me my diet and exercise are fine so the blood pressure is likely genetic. But we'll see. Even though I've been walking 40 minutes round-trip to work for the last two years, I just started lifting weights 3x a week about two months ago, after having stopped for about five years. I'm also trying to cut as much salt out of my diet as possible. I eat pretty damn clean, but take a look at the amount of sodium that's in a can of "healthy" chili and you'll see how hard it is in the US to live on a low-sodium diet.
So long story short, any time I have even the remotest thought of chewing, all I have to do is think "yeah, I could do that. And then maybe my heart could explode too." So no thanks to that deal.
At least that's how I'm feeling now - I know things change over time, so who knows, maybe for me it'll be like day 90 or 120 or who knows when that will feel hard.
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Nori- I was close to a can a day for 15 years. i'm 83 days quit today. blood pressure is/was an issue as well. I've had high blood pressure for the last 5 years or more, always noting in my mind that nicotine was likely the culprit- but still not quite ready to quit... maybe after the Holiday. Maybe after the Summer. But now football season is here, so.... you get it.
about 20 days in to my quit i tested my blood pressure. still high. haven't checked it since. but i will soon and report back.
It'd be great to hear from you (or others) what you've seen regarding change in blood pressure after quitting. Peace of mind and all that.
The update from yesterday is that I was having panic attacks all day before I went to the doc. I'm a raging hypocondriac. And so even though blood pressure is nothing to joke about, I was walking around all day feeling like I was gonna have a heart attack right then. Finally got to the doc in the afternoon and he was basically like, "yep. High blood pressure. Seen it 1,000 times." They put me on meds (which may or may not be permanent). Obviously he told me to stay off the chew, but he told me my diet and exercise are fine so the blood pressure is likely genetic. But we'll see. Even though I've been walking 40 minutes round-trip to work for the last two years, I just started lifting weights 3x a week about two months ago, after having stopped for about five years. I'm also trying to cut as much salt out of my diet as possible. I eat pretty damn clean, but take a look at the amount of sodium that's in a can of "healthy" chili and you'll see how hard it is in the US to live on a low-sodium diet.
So long story short, any time I have even the remotest thought of chewing, all I have to do is think "yeah, I could do that. And then maybe my heart could explode too." So no thanks to that deal.
At least that's how I'm feeling now - I know things change over time, so who knows, maybe for me it'll be like day 90 or 120 or who knows when that will feel hard.
Dude, dump your cans! Forget your sodium content and blood pressure readings! This isn't general health. Tobacco is poison. It is an addictive poison.
Too much Salt in your diet might contribute to your death at some point. At some point in your journey to a healthier you, that is something that should be addressed. However, HERE you need to stop fucking chewing tobacco! I don't care if you shove a McRib Sandwich stuffed with broken glass and a recycled Justin Beiber CD in your face, just don't use tobacco or any other nicotine product!
Get on board, get posting and get involved. We can help if you want to quit.
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Haven't tossed them yet, but honestly it's because it's because I hadn't really made the decision to quit until I was about 6 days in. .
No dip for 6 days means your quit regardless of whether you intended to or not. Do you want to quit? I guarantee quitting will only help your blood pressure, so why not just make this permanent? Keeping those tins around is just setting yourself up for failure. Dump those fucking things, post role, and keep quitting. Your 6 days in, the nicotine is out of your system and now it's just head games.
Dump the tins and quit for good.
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Haven't tossed them yet, but honestly it's because it's because I hadn't really made the decision to quit until I was about 6 days in. .
No dip for 6 days means your quit regardless of whether you intended to or not. Do you want to quit? I guarantee quitting will only help your blood pressure, so why not just make this permanent? Keeping those tins around is just setting yourself up for failure. Dump those fucking things, post role, and keep quitting. Your 6 days in, the nicotine is out of your system and now it's just head games.
Dump the tins and quit for good.
Maybe this will help. I dipped 38 year's blood pressure steadily creeping up, had a massive heart attack, doc said totally due to nicotine! 525 days later feel better to have in year's, even before heart attack. I can promise you one thing, you will hear panic attacks, anxiety attacks and high blood pressure associated with dipping all through this site! Quit on it definitely want kill you!
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No dip for 6 days means your quit regardless of whether you intended to or not. Do you want to quit? I guarantee quitting will only help your blood pressure, so why not just make this permanent? Keeping those tins around is just setting yourself up for failure. Dump those fucking things, post role, and keep quitting. Your 6 days in, the nicotine is out of your system and now it's just head games.
Dump the tins and quit for good.
Yep. Not sure if you saw my earlier messages but the reason I hadn't posted earlier than I did was because I wanted to feel like I was really doing it. But as soon as I decided to do it, I posted role and on the boards here. So yes - I'm quit now. It's definitely not going to make my blood pressure *worse* to quit.
And oh yeah, I dumped the cans. It was this weird mixture of regret and happiness. I'm sure y'all know what I'm talking about.
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Maybe this will help. I dipped 38 year's blood pressure steadily creeping up, had a massive heart attack, doc said totally due to nicotine! 525 days later feel better to have in year's, even before heart attack. I can promise you one thing, you will hear panic attacks, anxiety attacks and high blood pressure associated with dipping all through this site! Quit on it definitely want kill you!
Thanks! It's definitely helpful to hear from others who have had similar experiences. It makes me feel less alone on this journey.
I actually found out since last week that I've got high blood pressure in the family so that's probably the biggest culprit. But that's the one part I can't change - the things I *can* change are diet, exercise, and quitting tobacco. I know everyone's got their own way of dealing with this, but for me it doesn't make any sense to quite chewing if I'm not also fixing those other things. I won't speak for anyone else but for me they all go hand in hand. It's easier for me to change my whole lifestyle than it is to just try to keep my same lifestyle, but without the tobacco.
I've read a lot of other guys on here talking about how going to the gym has been a lifesaver for them. I think that's been one of the big reasons it hasn't felt "hard" (for the most part) to quit so far. If I'm lifting heavy things three times a week I'm getting that natural high, plus late at night when I'd normally be watching TV and wanting to chew, now I'm just too damn tired. By 10:30 I'm falling asleep now whether I want to or not.
Today was the first day that felt challenging at all. It didn't last for long but I had some hard family stuff, work stuff, and health stuff all happen in the same hour this morning. It's the first time in the last 11 days I felt at all like I wanted to chew to help "calm me down". Which is crazy, since I know that it actually has the opposite effect. But whenever I was stressed I at least told myself that it would calm me down. I guess that goes to show how powerfully evil tobacco is. You think it's making you feel better when it's actually making you feel worse. You think it's helping you when it's actually killing you. And even though you know it mentally, you refuse to believe it in how you live your life day to day.
Luckily I was at work and had 10 different things people wanted me to do right then, so it wasn't even an option to cave and run out to the store to get some. I think I've got enough tools now that I wouldn't have done that anyway, but it's probably important for me to recognize where my triggers are and what are the things that get me to think about (and want) tobacco more. That way I'll recognize those situations when they come up again so I'm watching myself more to make sure I don't cave.
It wasn't anything I couldn't handle today, I just wanna make sure nothing bigger comes up in the future that would get me to cave. And yeah, it's all head games now. Which for me is going to be the hardest part. I didn't really have a lot of physical stuff but I've been expecting mental stuff since the first day.
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I will be honest. I didn't read all of the things in there entirety. For one reason they seemed repetitive. As such, it seems as though you still have some reservations. If I am wrong, then, I am wrong. I will admit to it. Your blood pressure. Have you done 100% what your doc said from the beginning? If not, then that is the reason you should be scare about a spike or a plummet in pressure. Mine has smoothed way out and there was a day that i felt like it was bottomed. Now, I am not on medications. However, doesn't take away the fact that is sucked. But, I kept on quitting. Why? Because I knew the end result was worth it. Was I extra vigilant with how I felt? Absolutely. But, I was not going to use any symptom as a reason to go back to the shite. Break weak? Me? Never. I am not going to let that 1 ounce can rule my life. Yeah. 1 oz can ruled your life daily. You had a dip in most times of the day, right? That isn't normal. LOL! So, keep the quit on. Monitor yourself and do what you are supposed to do. Don't let anything be the reason you let that little tiny can rule you anymore. Get with your doctor and talk with him. We are hardcore quitters here.
just for today, Self.
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I will be honest. I didn't read all of the things in there entirety. For one reason they seemed repetitive. As such, it seems as though you still have some reservations. If I am wrong, then, I am wrong. I will admit to it. Your blood pressure. Have you done 100% what your doc said from the beginning? If not, then that is the reason you should be scare about a spike or a plummet in pressure. Mine has smoothed way out and there was a day that i felt like it was bottomed. Now, I am not on medications. However, doesn't take away the fact that is sucked. But, I kept on quitting. Why? Because I knew the end result was worth it. Was I extra vigilant with how I felt? Absolutely. But, I was not going to use any symptom as a reason to go back to the shite. Break weak? Me? Never. I am not going to let that 1 ounce can rule my life. Yeah. 1 oz can ruled your life daily. You had a dip in most times of the day, right? That isn't normal. LOL! So, keep the quit on. Monitor yourself and do what you are supposed to do. Don't let anything be the reason you let that little tiny can rule you anymore. Get with your doctor and talk with him. We are hardcore quitters here.
just for today, Self.
Nori, this was kind of my point. I wasn't trying to say that your blood pressure was going to be harmed by quitting dip, it's that it is irrelevant.
You're kind of talking about this as one part of a holistic health plan, rather than a life and death struggle with nicotine. It's GREAT that you're taking care of yourself in other ways, in fact doing that will absolutely help you with your struggle w/ nicotine. However, if you view quitting tobacco as a single line item in your overall health plan, you could be setting yourself up for failure. Staying quit needs to be treated with the level of urgency of a sucking chest wound, rather than that of carrying a few extra lbs.
Adding your Quit to a list of self improvements makes it something that you might be more willing to bargain with. "Well ok, I can have a chew every now and then, but I'm giving up pizza, so it evens out." That line of thinking will make you fail. I'm not saying that's where you're at, but from your posts, you can see why one might go there.
Bottom line, keep taking care of yourself, outrunning your cravings and staying positive. But don't forget that staying quit is your #1 top health priority.
**Edit - And glad you dumped your trophy cans, that was a huge move brother!
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I will be honest. I didn't read all of the things in there entirety. For one reason they seemed repetitive. As such, it seems as though you still have some reservations. If I am wrong, then, I am wrong. I will admit to it. Your blood pressure. Have you done 100% what your doc said from the beginning? If not, then that is the reason you should be scare about a spike or a plummet in pressure. Mine has smoothed way out and there was a day that i felt like it was bottomed. Now, I am not on medications. However, doesn't take away the fact that is sucked. But, I kept on quitting. Why? Because I knew the end result was worth it. Was I extra vigilant with how I felt? Absolutely. But, I was not going to use any symptom as a reason to go back to the shite. Break weak? Me? Never. I am not going to let that 1 ounce can rule my life. Yeah. 1 oz can ruled your life daily. You had a dip in most times of the day, right? That isn't normal. LOL! So, keep the quit on. Monitor yourself and do what you are supposed to do. Don't let anything be the reason you let that little tiny can rule you anymore. Get with your doctor and talk with him. We are hardcore quitters here.
just for today, Self.
Definitely no reservations now, but I see how you could have gotten that from what I said. The reservations were all before I started posting role. Now that I'm doing that I don't have any reservations. I'm in.
To be honest I hadn't been to the doctor in a long time, so it was a real shock to find this out. The crazy part was that I was already doing most of what he suggested - good diet, exercise, etc. But not the tobacco. I didn't stop that until I got slapped in the face with the high blood pressure news. So yeah, at this point I'm doing everything the doc told me to since I'm quit.
I hear you about a 1oz can ruling my life daily. The lying, the disruptions to my day since I needed to leave work to go out and buy a can, I hated all that. And lol, yeah - that ISN'T NORMAL. I'd forgotten that while I was chewing, so thanks for the reminder.
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I will be honest. I didn't read all of the things in there entirety. For one reason they seemed repetitive. As such, it seems as though you still have some reservations. If I am wrong, then, I am wrong. I will admit to it. Your blood pressure. Have you done 100% what your doc said from the beginning? If not, then that is the reason you should be scare about a spike or a plummet in pressure. Mine has smoothed way out and there was a day that i felt like it was bottomed. Now, I am not on medications. However, doesn't take away the fact that is sucked. But, I kept on quitting. Why? Because I knew the end result was worth it. Was I extra vigilant with how I felt? Absolutely. But, I was not going to use any symptom as a reason to go back to the shite. Break weak? Me? Never. I am not going to let that 1 ounce can rule my life. Yeah. 1 oz can ruled your life daily. You had a dip in most times of the day, right? That isn't normal. LOL! So, keep the quit on. Monitor yourself and do what you are supposed to do. Don't let anything be the reason you let that little tiny can rule you anymore. Get with your doctor and talk with him. We are hardcore quitters here.
just for today, Self.
Definitely no reservations now, but I see how you could have gotten that from what I said. The reservations were all before I started posting role. Now that I'm doing that I don't have any reservations. I'm in.
To be honest I hadn't been to the doctor in a long time, so it was a real shock to find this out. The crazy part was that I was already doing most of what he suggested - good diet, exercise, etc. But not the tobacco. I didn't stop that until I got slapped in the face with the high blood pressure news. So yeah, at this point I'm doing everything the doc told me to since I'm quit.
I hear you about a 1oz can ruling my life daily. The lying, the disruptions to my day since I needed to leave work to go out and buy a can, I hated all that. And lol, yeah - that ISN'T NORMAL. I'd forgotten that while I was chewing, so thanks for the reminder.
If you ever have a question or need permission to fun(k up, get ahold of me.
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If you keep reading enough, you will find the majority of people on here start taking alot better care of themselves during the quit. Your whole outlook, or should I say most people's outlook on life changes drastically to the better! Quitting is definitely a win win no brainner! Quit on!
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If you keep reading enough, you will find the majority of people on here start taking alot better care of themselves during the quit. Your whole outlook, or should I say most people's outlook on life changes drastically to the better! Quitting is definitely a win win no brainner! Quit on!
What old Pab said is truth. You got this. We can help. Lean on your fellow quitters in Sept '16 and elsewhere on this site. Become engaged. Learn as much as you can.... may not seem like it now, but there is FREEDOM waiting down the pike. Quit on!
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Seaweed that quits is bad ass! Pass the quit and gari!
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Quit with you today Nori.
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Thanks for the support everyone. This is going to sound like a weird thing to say, but sometimes I find myself feeling guilty (or scared) that my quit hasn't been harder. I read about some of you who sound like you're going through hell for the first week or two (or more), and I think about the fact that I'm mildly uncomfortable sometimes or idly think about chewing when I'm doing activities that trigger me (watching tv, sitting at my desk, etc.). This probably sounds crazy but it makes me feel kinda like a fraud. Like, who am I to be in here giving people my thoughts and support and advice when I'm not going through the hell that they are? I know that's stupid because it's not about having been quit for the last 2 weeks, it's about STAYING quit no matter if it feels easy or hard.
The reason it makes me feel scared is that because it hasn't *felt* hard, I'm afraid I could trick myself into thinking one day "hey, it wasn't so hard to quit. So why not just have one little chew today and then I won't do it any more after that." It's almost like because it hasn't felt immediately hard it could be easier to slip back into it.
Anyway. Blood pressure is still too high so they doubled my meds. Yesterday I felt like shit because of the side effects, but I'm proud of the fact that it didn't make me want to chew. You all know how that goes - "this thing is going on with my body that makes me feel like shit - let's have some tobacco! Yeah! That'll make me feel better!" It's literally like being insane.
It bummed me out yesterday that the doctor told me to stop taking creatine since it could contribute to high blood pressure. But then I got to feel good because I was more bummed out about not being able to have creatine than I was about not being able to chew. Take that, nic!!! 'Finger'
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It bummed me out yesterday that the doctor told me to stop taking creatine since it could contribute to high blood pressure.
Yeah, the 'tine made my heart race like a high school boy in a room of half naked cheerleaders. But that was when I was trying to blow up and crush skulls. those days have surpassed my ass. I can fight, but not full of piss and vinegar like I was when I was 21
The day I stopped taking the 'tine, was the day my heart palpitations stopped. The whey is okay, but you have to be careful that if you stop lifting that you don't intake that protein. It will cause a major spare tire around your waste, fast!
well, no dip... no 'tine.... I know what you are feeling. Do not think that it is all crashing, it is some changes and only you can deal with them.. First of all, they are both life or death situations. So take your mind off both and find another outlet. You got my number. I do not care what time it is... you call me... I get up all hours of the night to go to work, so it makes no difference to me. just call or text.
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Thanks for the support everyone. This is going to sound like a weird thing to say, but sometimes I find myself feeling guilty (or scared) that my quit hasn't been harder. I read about some of you who sound like you're going through hell for the first week or two (or more), and I think about the fact that I'm mildly uncomfortable sometimes or idly think about chewing when I'm doing activities that trigger me (watching tv, sitting at my desk, etc.). This probably sounds crazy but it makes me feel kinda like a fraud. Like, who am I to be in here giving people my thoughts and support and advice when I'm not going through the hell that they are? I know that's stupid because it's not about having been quit for the last 2 weeks, it's about STAYING quit no matter if it feels easy or hard.
The reason it makes me feel scared is that because it hasn't *felt* hard, I'm afraid I could trick myself into thinking one day "hey, it wasn't so hard to quit. So why not just have one little chew today and then I won't do it any more after that." It's almost like because it hasn't felt immediately hard it could be easier to slip back into it.
Anyway. Blood pressure is still too high so they doubled my meds. Yesterday I felt like shit because of the side effects, but I'm proud of the fact that it didn't make me want to chew. You all know how that goes - "this thing is going on with my body that makes me feel like shit - let's have some tobacco! Yeah! That'll make me feel better!" It's literally like being insane.
It bummed me out yesterday that the doctor told me to stop taking creatine since it could contribute to high blood pressure. But then I got to feel good because I was more bummed out about not being able to have creatine than I was about not being able to chew. Take that, nic!!! 'Finger'
Oh don't worry you will have your time! Quit on!
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Oh don't worry you will have your time! Quit on!
Yeah, turns out that time was last night and Dweirick helped me out. The nic bitch is sneakier than I thought.
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The nic bitch is sneakier than I thought.
You have not posted for a few days in your thread.
I see you are making roll call...
I still feel foggy every time I come on this website...
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The nic bitch is sneakier than I thought.
You have not posted for a few days in your thread.
I see you are making roll call...
I still feel foggy every time I come on this website...
It'll pass brothers....it'll pass. Make take some time, but you will at one point regain clarity that you thought was long gone (for me happened about two months in)....until then, just keep pluggin' away.
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Been a few days since I've posted an update here. I just passed 1/4 of the way to the Hall of Fame! Even six months ago it would have sounded impossible to me that I could get through 25 days without a single dip, but here I am. I didn't really get the fog like it seems like most people do, but I did have my mind totally messing with me. All kinds of rationalizations why one time would be okay because I was drinking with friends, what's the harm, etc. Nic is crafty, and evil.
The last week has been much easier than the first two. Craves are getting less and less. It's not really the nic I crave, it's the oral habit. Having something to do while I'm sitting at the computer typing. Mostly I've been trying to get past that without any aids - like there are billions of people in the world that don't need to have something in their mouth at all times - but I bought some gum for when things feel harder.
Something hit me today - when I started using cigarettes dip, it was because they got me buzzed. I liked the feeling. Then it got less over time, so I upped the amount I was using to still get the buzz. But the buzz never got quite as intense as it had been at the beginning. And then one day it just got to the point where there was never a buzz of any kind any more, just a feeling of *wrongness* if I didn't have any. So in terms of how I was feeling, I was back to where I started before I'd ever touched tobacco. I basically just felt "normal". But the big difference was now I NEEDED A POISONOUS PLANT IN MY MOUTH TO FEEL NORMAL.
How messed up is that? I mean even if it's killing you I can understand on some level wanting to dip if it's making you feel good in the moment. But if the only thing - literally the ONLY thing - it's doing that's good for you is keeping you from feeling awful, then what's the point? You don't even get the benefit of it getting you buzzed any more. I mean why not stop, deal with the suck, and then feel normal without needing a plant to make you feel normal?
I'm going to remember that the next time I get a crave. Because at this point I don't think taking a pinch would actually make me feel buzzed, or good in any way, and it wouldn't even be 'taking the edge off' my addiction since it's out of my system at this point...it would just put me back into slavery with something that doesn't even get me off any more.
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Because at this point I don't think taking a pinch would actually make me feel buzzed, or good in any way
it will make you feel buzzed,
but the feeling of failure, shame and disappointment in yourself is much greater than the buzz.
I did it... right before I found this website.. I was quit for 20 some days... I grabbed a dip on Memorial day. I threw the can in the trash and that was the day I took a stand. This website really does work.....
just text me bro if you get stuck. I will talk you off the edge.
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Found the best quote today when I was looking for info on how dip does (or doesn't) affect your weight lifting abilities:
"You'll gain four pounds of tumor but when they remove your jaw it sorta evens out."
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That is a good quote.
do not ever forget that I quit with you everyday brother.
never forget that..... never.....
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TAKE IT TO THE TOP
Congrats my friend Jake... you made it brother!... 100 days
Nori spelled backwards is IRON.... and that you are... strong as IRON.
Thanks for hanging with me and just thanks.... I appreciate it.
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TAKE IT TO THE TOP
Congrats my friend Jake... you made it brother!... 100 days
Nori spelled backwards is IRON.... and that you are... strong as IRON.
Thanks for hanging with me and just thanks.... I appreciate it.
Great job Nori! Congrats on your HOF!
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TAKE IT TO THE TOP
Congrats my friend Jake... you made it brother!... 100 days
Nori spelled backwards is IRON.... and that you are... strong as IRON.
Thanks for hanging with me and just thanks.... I appreciate it.
Great job Nori! Congrats on your HOF!
Atta boy nori! Congratulations my man... Keep stacking them up one by one.
Right by your side brother
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TAKE IT TO THE TOP
Congrats my friend Jake... you made it brother!... 100 days
Nori spelled backwards is IRON.... and that you are... strong as IRON.
Thanks for hanging with me and just thanks.... I appreciate it.
Hah, just saw this Slick - thank you! Proud to be quit with you man. We're doing awesome.