KillTheCan.org Accountability Forum
Community => Introductions => Topic started by: Grizzfall on October 12, 2013, 06:20:00 PM
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I have been quit for 7 days now and i hate the fact that i have to be here. I tried using the site to quit about 6 months ago and only lasted 40 days or so. I read every page i had access to but refused to become a member and post roll and all this bullshit. I was stronger alone i thought. Forget other people, i didnt need them to build a business from scratch, rise above the socioeconomic class i was born into, climb mt rainier last month, or any of the other achievments i thought i was proud of. I give myself over to no one except my wife and never even fully to her.
Im 29, dipped for 16yrs, and cant quit by myself. I hate myself for this weakness.
Feeling vulnerable is the worst possible thing i can imagine. I would rather just quietly chew my self to death and never let on my weakness to anyone else.
This is my self loathing and i think its healthy. It is not for anyone else except me and from all i have read here, thats a good thing.
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I have been quit for 7 days now and i hate the fact that i have to be here. I tried using the site to quit about 6 months ago and only lasted 40 days or so. I read every page i had access to but refused to become a member and post roll and all this bullshit. I was stronger alone i thought. Forget other people, i didnt need them to build a business from scratch, rise above the socioeconomic class i was born into, climb mt rainier last month, or any of the other achievments i thought i was proud of. I give myself over to no one except my wife and never even fully to her.
Im 29, dipped for 16yrs, and cant quit by myself. I hate myself for this weakness.
Feeling vulnerable is the worst possible thing i can imagine. I would rather just quietly chew my self to death and never let on my weakness to anyone else.
This is my self loathing and i think its healthy. It is not for anyone else except me and from all i have read here, thats a good thing.
I hated the fact that I needed a support group to free myself from the bondage of nicotine. I initially felt that it made me weak. Now I sit here 282 days quit and I understand that it makes me human, NOT WEAK. I see that you have 2 posts. I hope the other is role. I will send you a PM later with my number. Feel free to use it. I am sure happy that I decided to finally accept some help. I encourage you to do the same. An addict without accountability, is a USER.
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I have been quit for 7 days now and i hate the fact that i have to be here. I tried using the site to quit about 6 months ago and only lasted 40 days or so. I read every page i had access to but refused to become a member and post roll and all this bullshit. I was stronger alone i thought. Forget other people, i didnt need them to build a business from scratch, rise above the socioeconomic class i was born into, climb mt rainier last month, or any of the other achievments i thought i was proud of. I give myself over to no one except my wife and never even fully to her.
Im 29, dipped for 16yrs, and cant quit by myself. I hate myself for this weakness.
Feeling vulnerable is the worst possible thing i can imagine. I would rather just quietly chew my self to death and never let on my weakness to anyone else.
This is my self loathing and i think its healthy. It is not for anyone else except me and from all i have read here, thats a good thing.
I hated the fact that I needed a support group to free myself from the bondage of nicotine. I initially felt that it made me weak. Now I sit here 282 days quit and I understand that it makes me human, NOT WEAK. I see that you have 2 posts. I hope the other is role. I will send you a PM later with my number. Feel free to use it. I am sure happy that I decided to finally accept some help. I encourage you to do the same. An addict without accountability, is a USER.
I read your intro and was struck by the point you made about not being able to work with the same capacity anymore. I think that has been the most aggravating part for me. Im a carpenter and am used to surrmounting any physical task. I quit this week because i took the week off to stain my own home. Nice, mindless work. i got half of what i normally expected to done and feel fucking paralyzed. The anxiety is the hardest part because i give myself time constraints.
So the question is, will we ever get back to our expected level of productivity without nicotine? Thats a scary thought if the answer is no.
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I have been quit for 7 days now and i hate the fact that i have to be here. I tried using the site to quit about 6 months ago and only lasted 40 days or so. I read every page i had access to but refused to become a member and post roll and all this bullshit. I was stronger alone i thought. Forget other people, i didnt need them to build a business from scratch, rise above the socioeconomic class i was born into, climb mt rainier last month, or any of the other achievments i thought i was proud of. I give myself over to no one except my wife and never even fully to her.
Im 29, dipped for 16yrs, and cant quit by myself. I hate myself for this weakness.
Feeling vulnerable is the worst possible thing i can imagine. I would rather just quietly chew my self to death and never let on my weakness to anyone else.
This is my self loathing and i think its healthy. It is not for anyone else except me and from all i have read here, thats a good thing.
I felt the exact same way about a support group. I thought "what kind of hippy bullshit is this". I originally came here because there was reviews of fake snuff and I wanted to research some before I bought it. I read some reviews and then I roamed over to this here forum and started reading some more of these "weak peoples"post. After about 20minutes of reading, I realized that I was the weak one. I soon found out that this was a family and everyone leaned on each other for support.
To quit nicotine is no easy task but it is very rewarding. I'll quit with you everyday, if you'll promise me the same.
Punkin
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I have been quit for 7 days now and i hate the fact that i have to be here. I tried using the site to quit about 6 months ago and only lasted 40 days or so. I read every page i had access to but refused to become a member and post roll and all this bullshit. I was stronger alone i thought. Forget other people, i didnt need them to build a business from scratch, rise above the socioeconomic class i was born into, climb mt rainier last month, or any of the other achievments i thought i was proud of. I give myself over to no one except my wife and never even fully to her.
Im 29, dipped for 16yrs, and cant quit by myself. I hate myself for this weakness.
Feeling vulnerable is the worst possible thing i can imagine. I would rather just quietly chew my self to death and never let on my weakness to anyone else.
This is my self loathing and i think its healthy. It is not for anyone else except me and from all i have read here, thats a good thing.
I hated the fact that I needed a support group to free myself from the bondage of nicotine. I initially felt that it made me weak. Now I sit here 282 days quit and I understand that it makes me human, NOT WEAK. I see that you have 2 posts. I hope the other is role. I will send you a PM later with my number. Feel free to use it. I am sure happy that I decided to finally accept some help. I encourage you to do the same. An addict without accountability, is a USER.
I read your intro and was struck by the point you made about not being able to work with the same capacity anymore. I think that has been the most aggravating part for me. Im a carpenter and am used to surrmounting any physical task. I quit this week because i took the week off to stain my own home. Nice, mindless work. i got half of what i normally expected to done and feel fucking paralyzed. The anxiety is the hardest part because i give myself time constraints.
So the question is, will we ever get back to our expected level of productivity without nicotine? Thats a scary thought if the answer is no.
Grizz. I have to answer with a resounding YES. But it does take time. The truth about nicotine is this. Nicotine in a BIG LIE. It never did anything for you or me. The powerful, addictive nature of this poison just made us think that we NEEDED it. The only thing nicotine EVER did for us was remove the withdrawal symptoms that IT created. That's it man. That is the reality. All the other bullshit we think and feel about what it did or does for us is.........................SIMPLY BULLSHIT. A false reality that we created.
You are a good carpenter, NOT BECAUSE OF NICOTINE, but in spite of nicotine. You can quit if you want to, but you have to want it bad. You have fight, claw, scratch, and dig your way out of this addiciton. It is a big wide, deep ass hole we put ourselves into. But you can climb out. It can be done. You can do this.
In the end there is only one way out, no nicotine today. One day at a time, you can kick this shit to the curb. I want to share a book with you. A wise quitter named SkoalMonster shared it with me and it profoundly strengthened my quit. It is a PDF file, send me an e-mail and I will get it to you if you are interested.
Ryan
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I have been quit for 7 days now and i hate the fact that i have to be here. I tried using the site to quit about 6 months ago and only lasted 40 days or so. I read every page i had access to but refused to become a member and post roll and all this bullshit. I was stronger alone i thought. Forget other people, i didnt need them to build a business from scratch, rise above the socioeconomic class i was born into, climb mt rainier last month, or any of the other achievments i thought i was proud of. I give myself over to no one except my wife and never even fully to her.
Im 29, dipped for 16yrs, and cant quit by myself. I hate myself for this weakness.
Feeling vulnerable is the worst possible thing i can imagine. I would rather just quietly chew my self to death and never let on my weakness to anyone else.
This is my self loathing and i think its healthy. It is not for anyone else except me and from all i have read here, thats a good thing.
I hated the fact that I needed a support group to free myself from the bondage of nicotine. I initially felt that it made me weak. Now I sit here 282 days quit and I understand that it makes me human, NOT WEAK. I see that you have 2 posts. I hope the other is role. I will send you a PM later with my number. Feel free to use it. I am sure happy that I decided to finally accept some help. I encourage you to do the same. An addict without accountability, is a USER.
I read your intro and was struck by the point you made about not being able to work with the same capacity anymore. I think that has been the most aggravating part for me. Im a carpenter and am used to surrmounting any physical task. I quit this week because i took the week off to stain my own home. Nice, mindless work. i got half of what i normally expected to done and feel fucking paralyzed. The anxiety is the hardest part because i give myself time constraints.
So the question is, will we ever get back to our expected level of productivity without nicotine? Thats a scary thought if the answer is no.
THe answer is yes. Infact I expect as time goes on you'll be even more productive! I initially was completely incapacitated at work, unable to seemingly get through a day. I confided in my boss (something you can't do don't need to do being self employed). He hadn't noticed. So while I coudln't do what I normally thought, it wasn't as big of a deal. Eventually you'll be so much better able to cope, bit it's gonna be tough it's gonna take a bit. The fog won't lift overnight. ODAAT you'll get this done. Using the help support on this site isn't weak, it is human normal. When you're doing this on your own, tomorrow is soon enough to quit, until it's too late. When you're accountable to all the new friends you'll meet on this site, you gotta get this quit done today like any other challenge. Climbing Mt.Ranier might well seem easy by comparison so don't be afraid to accept the help this site offers.
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I have been quit for 7 days now and i hate the fact that i have to be here. I tried using the site to quit about 6 months ago and only lasted 40 days or so. I read every page i had access to but refused to become a member and post roll and all this bullshit. I was stronger alone i thought. Forget other people, i didnt need them to build a business from scratch, rise above the socioeconomic class i was born into, climb mt rainier last month, or any of the other achievments i thought i was proud of. I give myself over to no one except my wife and never even fully to her.
Im 29, dipped for 16yrs, and cant quit by myself. I hate myself for this weakness.
Feeling vulnerable is the worst possible thing i can imagine. I would rather just quietly chew my self to death and never let on my weakness to anyone else.
This is my self loathing and i think its healthy. It is not for anyone else except me and from all i have read here, thats a good thing.
Grizz,
Believe me when I tell you that at one point not to long ago I shared your beliefs 100%. While I cant relate to building a business, rising above my economic status or conquering one of the nations most dangerous volcanoes, I can assure you that I thought I could conquer something as seemingly simple as quitting a long term addiction. Hmm, just typing that out actually sounds completely ridiculous to me.
Truth be told, and it sounds like you've come to understand it, you cant quit alone. Ive said it before and I will say it again, if I had never found this site, maybe, MAYBE, I could have quit on my own. But even then its a slim chance, seeing as how 1. I found my way to this site and 2. You admit to flirting around the site.
Ive been quit for 73 days as of today. I had my fair share of problems, what with the constant mindset that I could do this alone. I actually walked away from the site for over a week. Problem is, I lacked the foresight to see the conclusion that you have come to. Realizing that you cannot quit alone is a damn good step in the right direction.
Everyone here has gone through and is going through the exact same thing as you. Everyone has at some point in their quit thought they could go at it alone. If you truly care about the integrity of your quit, post roll every damn day. Dont get angry when others hold you accountable if you miss a day. (Dont miss a day).
Ill reiterate that KTC can be your biggest weapon against the Nic Bitch, but you have to want it more than anything else. The idea that you can quit by yourself is indeed a weakness, but if you embrace the idea that makes KTC what it is, your weakness can very well become your strength.
I am proud to call you a brother and I will do anything in my power to help you with your quit. If you need anything, and I mean anything (within reason) let me know.
I am going to PM you my number. I hope that you will send me yours and we can strengthen our respective quits a little bit better. I am quit with you today.
DD911 (Dave)
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The problem is not one of self control , you just lack the tools to build your house of quit. You'll find what you Need here. Just follow the program.
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I hope that some day your self-loathing regarding your perceived weakness translates into a celebration of providing help to others.
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Thanks guys. What you say makes a ton of sense. The rationalizatin for the discomfort i feel now is something i need to permanently hold on to. Im trying to think of it as an investment. But in the middle of day 8 here its hard to see the freedom im investing in. I just keep reading and learning more and more.
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Thanks guys. What you say makes a ton of sense. The rationalizatin for the discomfort i feel now is something i need to permanently hold on to. Im trying to think of it as an investment. But in the middle of day 8 here its hard to see the freedom im investing in. I just keep reading and learning more and more.
Welcome to the club Grizz. I can tell you that what you are feeling is normal. 100% normal. You are only 7 days quit. you are right in the middle of the Suck and Fog! There is no way that you could expect to perform at peak capacity at this time in your quit. I can tell you that it gets better. The longer you go without dip the better it gets. At some point you will realize that you were good at what you did because of your talent and not because you had a mouth full of cat turd in your lip!.
I'm a 36 year user, 2 cans/day most days. I'm on day 324 and i"ve never felt better. I promise that if you stick to the ideals of KTC, post roll everyday, keep your word and do it 100% of the time, you will beat this addiction.
I understand how you feel about thinking you might be weak because you are depending on others to help you quit. In time, the relationships you build from this site will become your most treasured relationships. I went to my first quitter meet in August at the Pennsylvania 6th edition get together. I met some of the veterans from this sight. I think I was the newest member. I met scowick, theowood, bait, big brother jack, chewie, sir derek, Keddy, Btdogboy, and a couple of others. I don't talk to them everyday. in fact I haven't spoken to any of them since August. What I will tell you is I know these guys have my back. If I were in a bind and needed any of them to come help me, I'm 100% sure that they would come running themselves or send someone who could. I would say without hesitation that the guys I have met here whether I met them in person or just on line are my most dependable and treasured friends. I don't call that being weak my friend. I call that being blessed!
So with that being said, I quit with you everyday. check your in box. I've sent my numbers just in case you need to call.
Mike
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I would say without hesitation that the guys I have met here whether I met them in person or just on line are my most dependable and treasured friends. I don't call that being weak my friend. I call that being blessed!
X2.
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Grizz,
I've seen you posting roll. Congrats man, I mean it. You keep posting, and I will keep supporting you.
If you need anything, dont hesitate to ask. Im here for you, brother.
DD911
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Nice job of posting roll this morning Grizz. Keep plowing through it, as you will win this battle if you allow yourself to. And welcome to KTC. PM me if you need any more numbers.
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Guys,
I know its only a few days into my presence here but im starting to understand the posting of roll, at least for my own benefit. I went to sleep last night looking forward to posting roll before work this morning. I apoligize for fucking it up and thank you to whomever put me on the general list.
(Side bar: its ok to work on columbus day because he didnt really discover the Americas. We should make the post office aware of that)
Went through work with a more manic feel than normal but it was sunny and the job went smooth. Beats the hell out of the paralyzing anxiety that gripped me fri/sat/sun. Chewed a stupid amount of dill flavored sunflower seeds. Ive discovered these are less abusive on my cheek than ranch or plain. Cant wait to post roll in the morning and will try get it right this time.
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Guys,
I know its only a few days into my presence here but im starting to understand the posting of roll, at least for my own benefit. I went to sleep last night looking forward to posting roll before work this morning. I apoligize for fucking it up and thank you to whomever put me on the general list.
(Side bar: its ok to work on columbus day because he didnt really discover the Americas. We should make the post office aware of that)
Went through work with a more manic feel than normal but it was sunny and the job went smooth. Beats the hell out of the paralyzing anxiety that gripped me fri/sat/sun. Chewed a stupid amount of dill flavored sunflower seeds. Ive discovered these are less abusive on my cheek than ranch or plain. Cant wait to post roll in the morning and will try get it right this time.
Go Grizz Go
You got this
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Guys,
I know its only a few days into my presence here but im starting to understand the posting of roll, at least for my own benefit. I went to sleep last night looking forward to posting roll before work this morning. I apoligize for fucking it up and thank you to whomever put me on the general list.
(Side bar: its ok to work on columbus day because he didnt really discover the Americas. We should make the post office aware of that)
Went through work with a more manic feel than normal but it was sunny and the job went smooth. Beats the hell out of the paralyzing anxiety that gripped me fri/sat/sun. Chewed a stupid amount of dill flavored sunflower seeds. Ive discovered these are less abusive on my cheek than ranch or plain. Cant wait to post roll in the morning and will try get it right this time.
Go Grizz Go
You got this
You are doing it man. Keep it up.
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Guys,
I know its only a few days into my presence here but im starting to understand the posting of roll, at least for my own benefit. I went to sleep last night looking forward to posting roll before work this morning. I apoligize for fucking it up and thank you to whomever put me on the general list.
(Side bar: its ok to work on columbus day because he didnt really discover the Americas. We should make the post office aware of that)
Went through work with a more manic feel than normal but it was sunny and the job went smooth. Beats the hell out of the paralyzing anxiety that gripped me fri/sat/sun. Chewed a stupid amount of dill flavored sunflower seeds. Ive discovered these are less abusive on my cheek than ranch or plain. Cant wait to post roll in the morning and will try get it right this time.
Go Grizz Go
You got this
You are doing it man. Keep it up.
I like it. I think we have a quitter here. Working the program, and taking his freedom back one day at a time. Keep it up Grizzfall.
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Guys,
I know its only a few days into my presence here but im starting to understand the posting of roll, at least for my own benefit. I went to sleep last night looking forward to posting roll before work this morning. I apoligize for fucking it up and thank you to whomever put me on the general list.
(Side bar: its ok to work on columbus day because he didnt really discover the Americas. We should make the post office aware of that)
Went through work with a more manic feel than normal but it was sunny and the job went smooth. Beats the hell out of the paralyzing anxiety that gripped me fri/sat/sun. Chewed a stupid amount of dill flavored sunflower seeds. Ive discovered these are less abusive on my cheek than ranch or plain. Cant wait to post roll in the morning and will try get it right this time.
At'a boy Griz. Kickin ass and taking names. Thanks for the PM and text. Proud to be quit with you buddy.
Dill flavored seeds?!?!? I gotta find some of them bad boys
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Guys,
I know its only a few days into my presence here but im starting to understand the posting of roll, at least for my own benefit. I went to sleep last night looking forward to posting roll before work this morning. I apoligize for fucking it up and thank you to whomever put me on the general list.
(Side bar: its ok to work on columbus day because he didnt really discover the Americas. We should make the post office aware of that)
Went through work with a more manic feel than normal but it was sunny and the job went smooth. Beats the hell out of the paralyzing anxiety that gripped me fri/sat/sun. Chewed a stupid amount of dill flavored sunflower seeds. Ive discovered these are less abusive on my cheek than ranch or plain. Cant wait to post roll in the morning and will try get it right this time.
Congrats for making it through paralyzing anxiety fri/sat/sun. That is the worst symptom, but if you can fight it off like that you got this. So many others you talk to don't even try to quit because they can't handle the anxiety that starts to creep in. It's a horrible symptom, I have it bad, but it can be beat you're learning that. WTG!
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Todays reflection is on confrontaions with coworkers. Perhaps the word confrontation is too strong because to him it was likley just a conversation. To the weak 10 day quit dipper (me) it was fighting words.
In Brief:
I run a carpentry business. We have regular subcontractors. This one particular sub is a great human and mechanic. I have known him for about 7 years and he has known me for 80-90percent of that time with a wad in my face. Today i had seeds.
He asks sarcastically, "no chew today? Whats wrong?"
I dismissively answer, "Naw i quit ten days ago and the seeds are the only thing that keep me occupied enough to work through the day. I cant tell you how slow the day goes for me now. Time is so distorted."
He replys, "Ten days ago! Shouldn't you be over it by now?!"
That was all it took. I wanted to walk out to that guys van, shit on his front seat, slice his tires, and leave a lit torch under his fuel lines. Fuck him. What an asshole. I thought this for the rest of the day. It pissed me off something fierce.
It wasnt until the drive home i realized that my anger wasnt his fault. He has no idea what this quit is. Only i do. And only the folks here do. I think thats why we are here. Thanks for understanding and lets not kill everyone around us in this process.
-Grizzfall
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Todays reflection is on confrontaions with coworkers. Perhaps the word confrontation is too strong because to him it was likley just a conversation. To the weak 10 day quit dipper (me) it was fighting words.
In Brief:
I run a carpentry business. We have regular subcontractors. This one particular sub is a great human and mechanic. I have known him for about 7 years and he has known me for 80-90percent of that time with a wad in my face. Today i had seeds.
He asks sarcastically, "no chew today? Whats wrong?"
I dismissively answer, "Naw i quit ten days ago and the seeds are the only thing that keep me occupied enough to work through the day. I cant tell you how slow the day goes for me now. Time is so distorted."
He replys, "Ten days ago! Shouldn't you be over it by now?!"
That was all it took. I wanted to walk out to that guys van, shit on his front seat, slice his tires, and leave a lit torch under his fuel lines. Fuck him. What an asshole. I thought this for the rest of the day. It pissed me off something fierce.
It wasnt until the drive home i realized that my anger wasnt his fault. He has no idea what this quit is. Only i do. And only the folks here do. I think thats why we are here. Thanks for understanding and lets not kill everyone around us in this process.
-Grizzfall
Wow, you got a great attitude about this! Because you're right, he has no idea. None at all. If he's a dipper hasn't tried, he has no idea. If he isn't, he REALLY has no idea! Heck, I had no idea what I was in for when I started down this road! PM sent, but to make a long story short, I've been told it can take 150 days to truly feel normal again. At day 57 I think I'm starting to feel better, then feel worse when I wonder why I'm not. This is a MUCH longer road than 10 days!! If this were easy everybody would be doing it! Hang in there bro, you got this.
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Todays reflection is on confrontaions with coworkers. Perhaps the word confrontation is too strong because to him it was likley just a conversation. To the weak 10 day quit dipper (me) it was fighting words.
In Brief:
I run a carpentry business. We have regular subcontractors. This one particular sub is a great human and mechanic. I have known him for about 7 years and he has known me for 80-90percent of that time with a wad in my face. Today i had seeds.
He asks sarcastically, "no chew today? Whats wrong?"
I dismissively answer, "Naw i quit ten days ago and the seeds are the only thing that keep me occupied enough to work through the day. I cant tell you how slow the day goes for me now. Time is so distorted."
He replys, "Ten days ago! Shouldn't you be over it by now?!"
    Â
     That was all it took. I wanted to walk out to that guys van, shit on his front seat, slice his tires, and leave a lit torch under his fuel lines. Fuck him. What an asshole. I thought this for the rest of the day. It pissed me off something fierce.
    It wasnt until the drive home i realized that my anger wasnt his fault. He has no idea what this quit is. Only i do. And only the folks here do. I think thats why we are here. Thanks for understanding and lets not kill everyone around us in this process.
-Grizzfall
Congrats on 10 days man. Doesn't sound weak to me. 10 days is bad ass. Most of my "quits" lasted less than 3 days. Always pussed out, always caved when things got rough. Not you, you are just plowing right through, nose to the grind stone. Proud of you man, and you should be proud of yourself.
It sounds like your work pal is lucky enough to not know and understand addiction. Good for him. Glad you didnt kick his ass, you are right, not his fault at all.
Keep it up. See you tomorrow.
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Todays reflection is on confrontaions with coworkers. Perhaps the word confrontation is too strong because to him it was likley just a conversation. To the weak 10 day quit dipper (me) it was fighting words.
In Brief:
I run a carpentry business. We have regular subcontractors. This one particular sub is a great human and mechanic. I have known him for about 7 years and he has known me for 80-90percent of that time with a wad in my face. Today i had seeds.
He asks sarcastically, "no chew today? Whats wrong?"
I dismissively answer, "Naw i quit ten days ago and the seeds are the only thing that keep me occupied enough to work through the day. I cant tell you how slow the day goes for me now. Time is so distorted."
He replys, "Ten days ago! Shouldn't you be over it by now?!"
That was all it took. I wanted to walk out to that guys van, shit on his front seat, slice his tires, and leave a lit torch under his fuel lines. Fuck him. What an asshole. I thought this for the rest of the day. It pissed me off something fierce.
It wasnt until the drive home i realized that my anger wasnt his fault. He has no idea what this quit is. Only i do. And only the folks here do. I think thats why we are here. Thanks for understanding and lets not kill everyone around us in this process.
-Grizzfall
Grizz, hang tough. Temper flares are normal. So is the anxiety, slowed time and inability to sleep like you were used to. By now you have heard alot of the boys saying that "it will get better." That is not fiction. It just takes time for the body and brain to reacclimate to life without nicotine. I was probably at HOF before I really started to appreciate getting back to a physiological normalcy, but it is different in terms of time for everyone. Be patient, be aware of triggers, post roll each day and stick to your quit plan. You will get through the suck and the fog will clear, but dont expect miracles overnight. Your body did not get this addicted in a few days, so let it heal. I will quit with you today.
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hell yes
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Todays reflection is on confrontaions with coworkers. Perhaps the word confrontation is too strong because to him it was likley just a conversation. To the weak 10 day quit dipper (me) it was fighting words.
In Brief:
I run a carpentry business. We have regular subcontractors. This one particular sub is a great human and mechanic. I have known him for about 7 years and he has known me for 80-90percent of that time with a wad in my face. Today i had seeds.
He asks sarcastically, "no chew today? Whats wrong?"
I dismissively answer, "Naw i quit ten days ago and the seeds are the only thing that keep me occupied enough to work through the day. I cant tell you how slow the day goes for me now. Time is so distorted."
He replys, "Ten days ago! Shouldn't you be over it by now?!"
    Â
     That was all it took. I wanted to walk out to that guys van, shit on his front seat, slice his tires, and leave a lit torch under his fuel lines. Fuck him. What an asshole. I thought this for the rest of the day. It pissed me off something fierce.
    It wasnt until the drive home i realized that my anger wasnt his fault. He has no idea what this quit is. Only i do. And only the folks here do. I think thats why we are here. Thanks for understanding and lets not kill everyone around us in this process.
-Grizzfall
Grizz, hang tough. Temper flares are normal. So is the anxiety, slowed time and inability to sleep like you were used to. By now you have heard alot of the boys saying that "it will get better." That is not fiction. It just takes time for the body and brain to reacclimate to life without nicotine. I was probably at HOF before I really started to appreciate getting back to a physiological normalcy, but it is different in terms of time for everyone. Be patient, be aware of triggers, post roll each day and stick to your quit plan. You will get through the suck and the fog will clear, but dont expect miracles overnight. Your body did not get this addicted in a few days, so let it heal. I will quit with you today.
Gotta love Dip rage,
When you get angry your body releases some of the same fight or flight chemicals that nicotine makes you produce. It's the brains sneaky way of getting a little rush it was used to.
It will pass, just come on here and vent, don't take it out those around you,
Congrats on another +1 it gets easier I promise
sM
-
Todays reflection is on confrontaions with coworkers. Perhaps the word confrontation is too strong because to him it was likley just a conversation. To the weak 10 day quit dipper (me) it was fighting words.
In Brief:
I run a carpentry business. We have regular subcontractors. This one particular sub is a great human and mechanic. I have known him for about 7 years and he has known me for 80-90percent of that time with a wad in my face. Today i had seeds.
He asks sarcastically, "no chew today? Whats wrong?"
I dismissively answer, "Naw i quit ten days ago and the seeds are the only thing that keep me occupied enough to work through the day. I cant tell you how slow the day goes for me now. Time is so distorted."
He replys, "Ten days ago! Shouldn't you be over it by now?!"
    Â
     That was all it took. I wanted to walk out to that guys van, shit on his front seat, slice his tires, and leave a lit torch under his fuel lines. Fuck him. What an asshole. I thought this for the rest of the day. It pissed me off something fierce.
    It wasnt until the drive home i realized that my anger wasnt his fault. He has no idea what this quit is. Only i do. And only the folks here do. I think thats why we are here. Thanks for understanding and lets not kill everyone around us in this process.
-Grizzfall
Grizz, hang tough. Temper flares are normal. So is the anxiety, slowed time and inability to sleep like you were used to. By now you have heard alot of the boys saying that "it will get better." That is not fiction. It just takes time for the body and brain to reacclimate to life without nicotine. I was probably at HOF before I really started to appreciate getting back to a physiological normalcy, but it is different in terms of time for everyone. Be patient, be aware of triggers, post roll each day and stick to your quit plan. You will get through the suck and the fog will clear, but dont expect miracles overnight. Your body did not get this addicted in a few days, so let it heal. I will quit with you today.
Gotta love Dip rage,
When you get angry your body releases some of the same fight or flight chemicals that nicotine makes you produce. It's the brains sneaky way of getting a little rush it was used to.
It will pass, just come on here and vent, don't take it out those around you,
Congrats on another +1 it gets easier I promise
sM
Grizz,
I too work in the construction industry now that I retired from the USMC. I now refer to that as being a baby sitter for a bunch of high school bitches.
I still have a few people who if they caught me on the right day I would mop the floor with their asses. The good news is that I have several brothers from here that I can send a message to and they talk me out of it. Although from time to time it would be great fun to hand someone their ass, we all have to remember that we caused our addiction.
If you ever want some good fun, wait for another construction buddy to hand you their can being a smart ass, spit in in and hand it back to them.
I quit with you today brother.
Pinched
-
Todays reflection is on confrontaions with coworkers. Perhaps the word confrontation is too strong because to him it was likley just a conversation. To the weak 10 day quit dipper (me) it was fighting words.
In Brief:
I run a carpentry business. We have regular subcontractors. This one particular sub is a great human and mechanic. I have known him for about 7 years and he has known me for 80-90percent of that time with a wad in my face. Today i had seeds.
He asks sarcastically, "no chew today? Whats wrong?"
I dismissively answer, "Naw i quit ten days ago and the seeds are the only thing that keep me occupied enough to work through the day. I cant tell you how slow the day goes for me now. Time is so distorted."
He replys, "Ten days ago! Shouldn't you be over it by now?!"
    Â
     That was all it took. I wanted to walk out to that guys van, shit on his front seat, slice his tires, and leave a lit torch under his fuel lines. Fuck him. What an asshole. I thought this for the rest of the day. It pissed me off something fierce.
    It wasnt until the drive home i realized that my anger wasnt his fault. He has no idea what this quit is. Only i do. And only the folks here do. I think thats why we are here. Thanks for understanding and lets not kill everyone around us in this process.
-Grizzfall
Grizz, hang tough. Temper flares are normal. So is the anxiety, slowed time and inability to sleep like you were used to. By now you have heard alot of the boys saying that "it will get better." That is not fiction. It just takes time for the body and brain to reacclimate to life without nicotine. I was probably at HOF before I really started to appreciate getting back to a physiological normalcy, but it is different in terms of time for everyone. Be patient, be aware of triggers, post roll each day and stick to your quit plan. You will get through the suck and the fog will clear, but dont expect miracles overnight. Your body did not get this addicted in a few days, so let it heal. I will quit with you today.
Gotta love Dip rage,
When you get angry your body releases some of the same fight or flight chemicals that nicotine makes you produce. It's the brains sneaky way of getting a little rush it was used to.
It will pass, just come on here and vent, don't take it out those around you,
Congrats on another +1 it gets easier I promise
sM
Grizz,
I too work in the construction industry now that I retired from the USMC. I now refer to that as being a baby sitter for a bunch of high school bitches.
I still have a few people who if they caught me on the right day I would mop the floor with their asses. The good news is that I have several brothers from here that I can send a message to and they talk me out of it. Although from time to time it would be great fun to hand someone their ass, we all have to remember that we caused our addiction.
If you ever want some good fun, wait for another construction buddy to hand you their can being a smart ass, spit in in and hand it back to them.
I quit with you today brother.
Pinched
This is good stuff. You are doing it Grizz. You figured out what was going on and processed it. You even did it without taking the rage out on the poor sap that doesn't have a clue.
Proud to be quit with you today.
-
Todays reflection is on confrontaions with coworkers. Perhaps the word confrontation is too strong because to him it was likley just a conversation. To the weak 10 day quit dipper (me) it was fighting words.
In Brief:
I run a carpentry business. We have regular subcontractors. This one particular sub is a great human and mechanic. I have known him for about 7 years and he has known me for 80-90percent of that time with a wad in my face. Today i had seeds.
He asks sarcastically, "no chew today? Whats wrong?"
I dismissively answer, "Naw i quit ten days ago and the seeds are the only thing that keep me occupied enough to work through the day. I cant tell you how slow the day goes for me now. Time is so distorted."
He replys, "Ten days ago! Shouldn't you be over it by now?!"
    Â
     That was all it took. I wanted to walk out to that guys van, shit on his front seat, slice his tires, and leave a lit torch under his fuel lines. Fuck him. What an asshole. I thought this for the rest of the day. It pissed me off something fierce.
    It wasnt until the drive home i realized that my anger wasnt his fault. He has no idea what this quit is. Only i do. And only the folks here do. I think thats why we are here. Thanks for understanding and lets not kill everyone around us in this process.
-Grizzfall
Grizz, hang tough. Temper flares are normal. So is the anxiety, slowed time and inability to sleep like you were used to. By now you have heard alot of the boys saying that "it will get better." That is not fiction. It just takes time for the body and brain to reacclimate to life without nicotine. I was probably at HOF before I really started to appreciate getting back to a physiological normalcy, but it is different in terms of time for everyone. Be patient, be aware of triggers, post roll each day and stick to your quit plan. You will get through the suck and the fog will clear, but dont expect miracles overnight. Your body did not get this addicted in a few days, so let it heal. I will quit with you today.
Gotta love Dip rage,
When you get angry your body releases some of the same fight or flight chemicals that nicotine makes you produce. It's the brains sneaky way of getting a little rush it was used to.
It will pass, just come on here and vent, don't take it out those around you,
Congrats on another +1 it gets easier I promise
sM
Grizz,
I too work in the construction industry now that I retired from the USMC. I now refer to that as being a baby sitter for a bunch of high school bitches.
I still have a few people who if they caught me on the right day I would mop the floor with their asses. The good news is that I have several brothers from here that I can send a message to and they talk me out of it. Although from time to time it would be great fun to hand someone their ass, we all have to remember that we caused our addiction.
If you ever want some good fun, wait for another construction buddy to hand you their can being a smart ass, spit in in and hand it back to them.
I quit with you today brother.
Pinched
This is good stuff. You are doing it Grizz. You figured out what was going on and processed it. You even did it without taking the rage out on the poor sap that doesn't have a clue.
Proud to be quit with you today.
What Skoal Monster said X 100!!
You'll look back later and laugh your ass off at the rage!
Keep it here, keep it cool, keep quit.
-
I get it Grizz.
My temper was way out of control for the first 60 days. There were times that it really scared me not to mention some people around me. I started to think something was really wrong with me.
Day 61 was like someone flipped a switch and my temper was totally back under control. I have now had about 25 days of a normal and calm personality.
-
Daily reflection,
I suppose today was just a day. No highs, no lows, just the muted pastels of life without my crutch.
To be fair though, no anxiety. That shit is terrible. I recieved an education on the subject here that absolutely put me on my heels. I am learning to recognize the early onset and fight it off.
I hear there are many emotional rollercoasters to come, craves aside, and i hope im ready. For now, i will take a bland day. Bland is the vanilla of quit and i'm cool with that. Thanks guys.
-neil
-
Daily reflection,
I suppose today was just a day. No highs, no lows, just the muted pastels of life without my crutch.
To be fair though, no anxiety. That shit is terrible. I recieved an education on the subject here that absolutely put me on my heels. I am learning to recognize the early onset and fight it off.
I hear there are many emotional rollercoasters to come, craves aside, and i hope im ready. For now, i will take a bland day. Bland is the vanilla of quit and i'm cool with that. Thanks guys.
-neil
A quit day is great, and a vanilla quit day with no anxiety is even better! Which it was for me too. ODAAT! I got some great words on that tonight too. Hang in there bro text if you need anything!
-
BEANS AND FRANKS
-
Daily reflection,
I suppose today was just a day. No highs, no lows, just the muted pastels of life without my crutch.
To be fair though, no anxiety. That shit is terrible. I recieved an education on the subject here that absolutely put me on my heels. I am learning to recognize the early onset and fight it off.
I hear there are many emotional rollercoasters to come, craves aside, and i hope im ready. For now, i will take a bland day. Bland is the vanilla of quit and i'm cool with that. Thanks guys.
-neil
Keep doing what you are doing Neil. What you will realize soon is that it was NEVER a crutch, just an anchor. It was always just an anchor.
Look me up if you need anything. I want you to succeed. It seems like you want this.
-
Sunday Morning,
Day 15 begins today and i am feling better than ever. Yesterday had some wicked hard craves that i believe were triggered by environment. I was doing a little project over at the inlaws and it was the first i had been there since i quit. All the old routine of set up and breakdown in a familiar space triggerd huge yearning. More seeds...more seeds. Curiously this does not happen at a customers house. I assume that is because it is a new environment and one my brain is not used to nicotine in. Man, what a drug.
Heres a fun spot to be in. My father in law is a family practitioner MD and also owns a dairy opperation. It is a nice balance. I have never chewed around him and to my knowledge he has no idea of my old addiction. Both his sons chew in the same secretive fashion. Looking back on yesterday, the guy has to wonder why i have a face full of dill pickle flavored seeds all day long. Couple that with my newly aquired manic approach to life and his assumptions can only be the worse. "That boy's on drugs!" ....oh how far from the truth.
To furthur complicate things, he is my primary care physician. There is a lot of advice here on the site to talk to your doctor about quitting and possible medication. As mike from ab knows the anxiety can freakin suck. I suspect i am not done with this symptom either, but just enjoying a reprieve. Point is, i cant exactly call up my doctor and explain the situation without damaging our personal relationship.
"Hey doc, i need some xanax to deal with panic attacks while i quit chewing"
Im sure that would go over well.
Anybody else deal with a similar situation or self medicate with herbal tea(the tea part is a joke)
Day 15.
-
First , what you felt yesterday is known as the two week weakness. Second, i assume there are other doctors in town ? Finding a new primary could be helpful..... I mean what if you Need a prostate exam? Or a physical? Seems like it might make xmas akward. Just sayin.
In all seriousness, if your struggling with anxiety go see him or somebody else. Your in a fight for your life, now isnt the time to be concerned what your father-in-law thinks , or anybody else either.
ODAAT.
-
I'm with skoal monster: I wouldn't give 2 shits about what my doctor thought, FIL or not. I'm very close to my FIL. He's as close to me as my real dad, if not closer. I didn't hesitate in talking to him about my quit. Although, he knew that I chewed and had no problems with it, he was very excited and proud that I was quitting and offered up any help that he could. I'm sure your FIL would do the same.
I don't know anything about Xanax but when I told my family doc that I was quitting nicotine, she wrote me a script for Wellbutrin. I was against it because I'm not a fan of meds but she has been my doc for most of my life and she knows my temper so she pretty much demanded that I take it. I can say that without a doubt that it has helped my quit. For me, it doesn't kill the urge, it just makes me not care if I have nicotine or not if that makes sense.
If you are having trouble with anxiety and you don't feel comfortable talking to your FIL, I'd go talk with another doc and let them know what's up
-
I'm with skoal monster: I wouldn't give 2 shits about what my doctor thought, FIL or not. I'm very close to my FIL. He's as close to me as my real dad, if not closer. I didn't hesitate in talking to him about my quit. Although, he knew that I chewed and had no problems with it, he was very excited and proud that I was quitting and offered up any help that he could. I'm sure your FIL would do the same.
I don't know anything about Xanax but when I told my family doc that I was quitting nicotine, she wrote me a script for Wellbutrin. I was against it because I'm not a fan of meds but she has been my doc for most of my life and she knows my temper so she pretty much demanded that I take it. I can say that without a doubt that it has helped my quit. For me, it doesn't kill the urge, it just makes me not care if I have nicotine or not if that makes sense.
If you are having trouble with anxiety and you don't feel comfortable talking to your FIL, I'd go talk with another doc and let them know what's up
Tough situation. That being said , he is a doctor. I'm sure he's seen some fucked up stuff in his practice. And who knows if your wife told her sister/mother or someone... And he already has a clue? I think I'd tell him. Be honest you'll probably gain even more of his respect by showing your vulnerability more than you know.
-
I'm with skoal monster: I wouldn't give 2 shits about what my doctor thought, FIL or not. I'm very close to my FIL. He's as close to me as my real dad, if not closer. I didn't hesitate in talking to him about my quit. Although, he knew that I chewed and had no problems with it, he was very excited and proud that I was quitting and offered up any help that he could. I'm sure your FIL would do the same.
I don't know anything about Xanax but when I told my family doc that I was quitting nicotine, she wrote me a script for Wellbutrin. I was against it because I'm not a fan of meds but she has been my doc for most of my life and she knows my temper so she pretty much demanded that I take it. I can say that without a doubt that it has helped my quit. For me, it doesn't kill the urge, it just makes me not care if I have nicotine or not if that makes sense.
If you are having trouble with anxiety and you don't feel comfortable talking to your FIL, I'd go talk with another doc and let them know what's up
Tough situation. That being said , he is a doctor. I'm sure he's seen some fucked up stuff in his practice. And who knows if your wife told her sister/mother or someone... And he already has a clue? I think I'd tell him. Be honest you'll probably gain even more of his respect by showing your vulnerability more than you know.
Agree with worktowin. I would just tell him. It is what it is. Coming clean adds strength and accountability to your quit. Let the chips fall where they may.
As far as this anxiety goes, it can be pretty gripping. There is nothing wrong with some medical help if it is really affecting your life. I seriously considered some meds in the begining too. I am glad that I didnt though. I just had to work through some things and figure out how to rewire everything without the poison. Sleep was very fleeting for several months. I suggest you go read Deisel's intro. That dude had some pretty intense anxiety in the begining he wrote some good shit about it. It helped me a ton.
Keep up the great work.
-
I'm with skoal monster: I wouldn't give 2 shits about what my doctor thought, FIL or not. I'm very close to my FIL. He's as close to me as my real dad, if not closer. I didn't hesitate in talking to him about my quit. Although, he knew that I chewed and had no problems with it, he was very excited and proud that I was quitting and offered up any help that he could. I'm sure your FIL would do the same.
I don't know anything about Xanax but when I told my family doc that I was quitting nicotine, she wrote me a script for Wellbutrin. I was against it because I'm not a fan of meds but she has been my doc for most of my life and she knows my temper so she pretty much demanded that I take it. I can say that without a doubt that it has helped my quit. For me, it doesn't kill the urge, it just makes me not care if I have nicotine or not if that makes sense.
If you are having trouble with anxiety and you don't feel comfortable talking to your FIL, I'd go talk with another doc and let them know what's up
Tough situation. That being said , he is a doctor. I'm sure he's seen some fucked up stuff in his practice. And who knows if your wife told her sister/mother or someone... And he already has a clue? I think I'd tell him. Be honest you'll probably gain even more of his respect by showing your vulnerability more than you know.
Agree with worktowin. I would just tell him. It is what it is. Coming clean adds strength and accountability to your quit. Let the chips fall where they may.
As far as this anxiety goes, it can be pretty gripping. There is nothing wrong with some medical help if it is really affecting your life. I seriously considered some meds in the begining too. I am glad that I didnt though. I just had to work through some things and figure out how to rewire everything without the poison. Sleep was very fleeting for several months. I suggest you go read Deisel's intro. That dude had some pretty intense anxiety in the begining he wrote some good shit about it. It helped me a ton.
Keep up the great work.
just find another doctor and quit with all the drama.
-
Sunday Morning,
Day 15 begins today and i am feling better than ever. Yesterday had some wicked hard craves that i believe were triggered by environment. I was doing a little project over at the inlaws and it was the first i had been there since i quit. All the old routine of set up and breakdown in a familiar space triggerd huge yearning. More seeds...more seeds. Curiously this does not happen at a customers house. I assume that is because it is a new environment and one my brain is not used to nicotine in. Man, what a drug.
Heres a fun spot to be in. My father in law is a family practitioner MD and also owns a dairy opperation. It is a nice balance. I have never chewed around him and to my knowledge he has no idea of my old addiction. Both his sons chew in the same secretive fashion. Looking back on yesterday, the guy has to wonder why i have a face full of dill pickle flavored seeds all day long. Couple that with my newly aquired manic approach to life and his assumptions can only be the worse. "That boy's on drugs!" ....oh how far from the truth.
To furthur complicate things, he is my primary care physician. There is a lot of advice here on the site to talk to your doctor about quitting and possible medication. As mike from ab knows the anxiety can freakin suck. I suspect i am not done with this symptom either, but just enjoying a reprieve. Point is, i cant exactly call up my doctor and explain the situation without damaging our personal relationship.
"Hey doc, i need some xanax to deal with panic attacks while i quit chewing"
Im sure that would go over well.
Anybody else deal with a similar situation or self medicate with herbal tea(the tea part is a joke)
Day 15.
I'm enjoying herbal tea now as I get caught up on the boards. No it doesn't help with the anxiety but pre-quit I would've had a face full of dip before bed, so why not actually use my keurig machine in the evening instead :D
It does suck, there are guys have it worse than I do. So I admit it's easy for me to say go talk to your doc about it, maybe not as easy in your situation. But it looks like you've got some great advice to be open come clean. That's great advice whether you're talking to a new doc, or your FIL. I really did find a sympathetic ear in the 2nd doc I tried, one who was willing to listen.
You have my number at the end of the massive long PM, feel free to text if you need anything. I promise it does get better even if it doesn't happen as quickly as you think it should or would like it to. ODAAT!
-
Guys,
I get the point. I will talk to Doc (my FIL) this weekend when i see him again. I do sound like a drama pussy. Sorry for that, just have always been a private person. (hence the secret dip and difficulty "drinking the kool-aide".) Fuck it. This quit will be my only quit so i might as well inform those around me. Yeah, accountability. Doc is as smart a man as they come...in his own way. Funny old irishman. I suppose he will understand. BTW i love the logic that there is always someone else who is more fucked up than you are. It is terrible but has a strange comfort to it.
Thanks guys,
-Neil
-
Guys,
I get the point. I will talk to Doc (my FIL) this weekend when i see him again. I do sound like a drama pussy. Sorry for that, just have always been a private person. (hence the secret dip and difficulty "drinking the kool-aide".) Fuck it. This quit will be my only quit so i might as well inform those around me. Yeah, accountability. Doc is as smart a man as they come...in his own way. Funny old irishman. I suppose he will understand. BTW i love the logic that there is always someone else who is more fucked up than you are. It is terrible but has a strange comfort to it.
Thanks guys,
-Neil
Yes, I'm definitely learning there's always somebody more F'ed up than me out there even if I didn't think so at the start! Don't worry about the drama pussy part of it, through this whole quit you're going to go through alot of emotions you're not gonna be yourself for a bit. So don't sweat it. You'll get back to normal. It'll take longer than you want, but even now just ODAAT
-
I do sound like a drama pussy. Sorry for that, just have always been a private person.
Go take a small peak at my intro. THAT my friend, is a drama pussy. Agree with Mike, don't sweat it. Everyone here (whether they admit to it or not) has had their day. or days. Good to see you owning your quit and doing what needs to be done. Stay strong brother.
DD
-
I do sound like a drama pussy. Sorry for that, just have always been a private person.
Go take a small peak at my intro. THAT my friend, is a drama pussy. Agree with Mike, don't sweat it. Everyone here (whether they admit to it or not) has had their day. or days. Good to see you owning your quit and doing what needs to be done. Stay strong brother.
DD
Agree with Dave911 here.
I see no drama here. Just brothers helping brothers. Everyone uses the site for something different. I use it for accountability and brotherhood. It took some time for me to admit, but I needed help to crawl out of the big ass hole that I dug with nicotine. I see nothing dramatic about a quitter asking a group of quitters for some advice. Not sure where shstevens was coming from there.
Quit on gentlemen.
-
I work with doctors for a living and I am certain that your FIL will handle this completely different than what you are thinking. He will look at this and treat it as a professional and it will not affect your personal relationship at all.
If that still makes you nervous, go see another doc.
-
In regards to the "There is always someone more fucked up than you" comment -thank you-
Speciffically, thank you DippenDave.
I read portions of your intro, as per your recommmendation, and have become much more comfortable with my own erratic mental state. You set a high bar. And congrats on having the humility to make others aware of it. Quit on.
I went to the dentist today for my 6 month cleaning. It struck me that i have put myself through this awkward scenario twice a year, for my whole life. Yeah, so my parents covered it until age 18 but ever after it was on me.
Looking back i find it ironic that i feared going to the dentist because of what he might say regarding my gums. Pretty fucking obvious they've receaded. Yet i would pay out of pocket for this experience and then feel justified chewing for another 6 months. If the dentist didnt find anything wrong - CHEW ON!
That has got to be nicotine logic.
In the last two years i pushed the issue by telling my dentist i chewed. I think i wanted to be disciplined for my addiction. That, or be justified for my own self imposed guilt. His utter disgust at my confession would have been a motivator.
Instead.....a dull eyed response of generic "you should quit becase of Etc etc etc." Where was the rage i expected. Where was the anger of a man who's profession i shit on daily. Seriously, if someone vandalized something i built, i would be pissed. The dentist is the gatekeeper of your tooth health. I stuffed dirt on his project for 15 yrs and told him so. Yet...no anger.
Two explanations:
1. His practice is in a rural community with a greater than average chewing population and He is desensitized to it.
2. He looks at chew as job security for himself. Do the math.
There i was today, sitting in the chair, mulling over the above history. I was proud to be there. Fucking proud to roll into the dentist office, all of 19 days quit, and just waiting to tell someone at the first opportunity.
The higenist did the standard clean and polish. After our obigatory small talk and good byes, i readied myself for the man - Dr. Dentist - ... I wanted to be casual , to just work into conversation the fact that i quit. Thats the kinda shit that makes a dentist's day right?
We shook hands hello and as i lay down on the chair we began the standard 'catch up on the last 6 months' conversation. I couldn't contain myself. Less than one minute into the conversation i made a logical bridge from local agribusiness, to sunflowers, to their seeds, to "oh by the way, i quit chewing." I know i forced the point, but fuck it, I am proud and Dr. Dentist would celebrate with me. He would be so overcome with pride that he would declare a victory for the day, and the paid afternoon off for all employees! Thats how i envisioned things going down.
Yet, i was optimistic. My hirosima sized "i quit chewing" statement barely registered a mouse fart on this guys richter scale. Im not kidding. There was almost no change in the mood of the room. Dr. Dentist may have added a side bar about how quitting was a good life choice. He managed to get that out before falling back into agribusiness gossip. The want-to-be-land Baron dentist did seem to examine all my soft tissue with extra attention. He said everything looked good and I'm happy with that.
My main point here is that this guy is a fucking sociopath and i am realizing this during my quit. He doesnt care whether you chew or dont. Either way he benefits. If you chew, you need more dental work, if you dont, then you are his success story. I wouldnt be as bothered if the guy just took a side, but no. I tell him i chew - nothing. I tell him i quit - nothing. Teeth are this guys business and he might as well huff an ether rag while consulting patients. Fuck him. Im getting a new Dentist. I want a female, with a whip that will threaten pain if i ever chew again. Thats oral healthcare that works.
That is my reflection for the day. Some exaggeration was used for effect. Either way i am damn proud of my quit and understand that it is not a big deal to anyone else. Its mine. Fuck them.
-
In regards to the "There is always someone more fucked up than you" comment -thank you-
Speciffically, thank you DippenDave.
I read portions of your intro, as per your recommmendation, and have become much more comfortable with my own erratic mental state. You set a high bar. And congrats on having the humility to make others aware of it. Quit on.
Grizz, glad you took my advice and checked out my intro. Coming to terms with the fact that I am, and always will be, an addict was really hard for me to do. But I feel that it has helped me more now that I can say it outloud. One less burden on my journey to being quit.
In the last two years i pushed the issue by telling my dentist i chewed. I think i wanted to be disciplined for my addiction. That, or be justified for my own self imposed guilt. His utter disgust at my confession would have been a motivator. Instead.....a dull eyed response of generic "you should quit becase of Etc etc etc."Â Where was the rage i expected. Where was the anger of a man who's profession i shit on daily. Seriously, if someone vandalized something i built, i would be pissed. The dentist is the gatekeeper of your tooth health. I stuffed dirt on his project for 15 yrs and told him so. Yet...no anger.
Two explanations:
1. His practice is in a rural community with a greater than average chewing population and He is desensitized to it.
2. He looks at chew as job security for himself. Do the math.
A bunch of us were actually just talking about this not an hour ago in chat. They really just seem to not give a shit either way. While I would agree that explanation number 1 is probably a considerable part of the problem, Im throwing in my chips on explanation 2. I would normally expect more of a reaction, much the same as you did. But after playing the game for a long time (doctors, not dentist) ive come to the conclusion that they 1. dont give a shit and 2. as long as you are paying they dont care what the fuck is going on.
Yet, i was optimistic. My hirosima sized "i quit chewing" statement barely registered a mouse fart on this guys richter scale. Im not kidding. There was almost no change in the mood of the room. Dr. Dentist may have added a side bar about how quitting was a good life choice. He managed to get that out before falling back into agribusiness gossip. The want-to-be-land Baron dentist did seem to examine all my soft tissue with extra attention. He said everything looked good and I'm happy with that.
Gotta say, I love your description of this. Glad to hear that all is "good" in your mouth.
  My main point here is that this guy is a fucking sociopath and i am realizing this during my quit. He doesnt care whether you chew or dont. Either way he benefits. If you chew, you need more dental work, if you dont, then you are his success story. I wouldnt be as bothered if the guy just took a side, but no. I tell him i chew - nothing. I tell him i quit - nothing. Teeth are this guys business and he might as well huff an ether rag while consulting patients. Fuck him. Im getting a new Dentist. I want a female, with a whip that will threaten pain if i ever chew again. Thats oral healthcare that works.
I see that not only do you "get it" here on the site, but you also "get it" on the outside. They dont give a shit about you or me. They only care that a steady stream of your hard earned money is making its way into their already over stuffed pockets. The only difference between them and us is they have a fancy paper saying they are over qualified to tell us what we already know. When you find that new dentist, you just let me know...Thats my kind of dentist.
That is my reflection for the day. Some exaggeration was used for effect. Either way i am damn proud of my quit and understand that it is not a big deal to anyone else. Its mine. Fuck them.
I am glad to see you regularly updating your intro, and I honestly look forward to it when you do. This is a great way for us to interact and an even better way for you to vent. I don't feel this was exaggerated at all. Its complete and utter bullshit that we have to pay through the ass to see these incompetent asswipes in the first place. You have every right to be proud of your quit, but know that it is a very big deal to each and every one of us here. We are all proud of you.
Keep on quittin Grizz. You are a huge inspiration to me and I look forward to times like this when I can help you out. (I hope im helpin) Proud of you man.
Dave, 85 days quit and counting.
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Sir, that was an excellent analysis of my dentist rant. Thanks for the point by point breakdown. As i wrote it last night it just poured out of my head in one steady stream. No proof reading, just writing. Re-reading it today makes me aware of how far my moods still swing. Some of the shit I, and other quitters post here would be admissable evidence for an insanity plea.
Just thinking here...but...
Can you imagine a man-slaughter or 2nd degree murder trial where the defense uses nicotine withdrawl for an insanity plea. No juror would buy that shit. People dont lose it, shift through three lanes of traffic at 70mph, then pass on the right shoulder to get in front of the guy who, "gave me a bad look." Oh, they also dont spike the brakes causing the "bad look" driver to rear end the defendent and be forcibly ejected through the windshield. He was found dead on impact in the bed of the defendants truck. Now we have a murder trial.
(This could have been avoided with better use of seatbelts, but everybody misses that point)
Anyway, now the family of the "bad look" dead guy is pissed. They want to see the defendant serve time for taking away one of their own. The DA says they have a good case for 2nd degree murder but the family wants the better odds of jail time with a manslaughter charge. The trial begins with a fair amount of local media coverage. Images of family members in the court room are all over the 5 o'clock news. They quietly sit though the trial with angry scowls across their faces. (Ironically it was this "look" from the deceased that started the whole thing.) Even before proceedings begin, everyone knows the outcome. This guy is guilty. He intentionally used his vehichle as a weapon to harm an innocent driver. That innocent driver's only fault is that he was born with a perpetual frown that evokes helpless insecurity in all who view it.
This is how the DA presents his case during opening arguments. He concludes by reminding the jury that no one deserves to die for giving a bad look on the highway. "No!" he tells the jury, "the defendant is a capable murderer for which society has no use!"
Following the DA's opener, everyone expects the rest of the trial to be procedural at best. Finish the trial, maximum jail time, no parole. One more killer off the street. Done.
But this is where the real story starts. This is where a young defense attorney's secret nicotine addiction enters his professional realm. The very demon he has been hiding from everyone is now his best chance to win his first high-profile case. His law firm put him on this case to lose easily and quietly. Letting the new guy take the impossible defense case is standard opporating procedure. Fuck it, everyone still makes a salery. But as the little demon awakens again, he begins to see a way - a way to keep the defendant free, and furthur his own career.
Insanity plea. The defendant was simply not himself at the time of the accident.
Quiet laughter could be heard as our aspiring young attourney introduced a motion for dismissal on these grounds. Anyone who's watched a few episodes of law and order knows that insanity is difficult to prove. Even with testimony from respected medical professionals the chances were slim. And to be fair to the doctors, who among them would jeoprodize their career by testifying to a lost cause? As these realizations warmed over the assembled witnesses, their curiosity grew. Hushed utterences and unsure glances flew about the room. What was this fresh outta law school boy trying to do?
Ahh, but here is where our attourney's recent graduation from law school becomes his strength.
It started in his highschool AP classes. A friend offered him a pinch of chery skoal during a marathon study session. Damn if he didn't ace the next exam. From then on, study, school, and dip was his holy trinity. One could not exist without the other. As he excelled through highschool, through undergraduate work at Georgetown, through an MBA at Rutgers and finally Yale Law that little tin of cherry skoal was always by his side. She was the goddess that had blessed him with all things good in life.
Still, this fellow is no fool. Upon law school graduation he left his sweet little cherry behind. For weeks he was a wreck. Sweats, insomnia, cant shit, cant think, cant live. With his last shred of self control fraying, he discovered the KTC Website. He discovered a whole world of people just as fucked up as he was. He found comfort in the stories of quitters who's lives were upended by their quit. Failing realtionships, irrational anger, unjustified fights, panic attacks, emotional breakdowns...were the norm here. It was a collection of people expressing themselves and their insanity from quitting nicotine. While he empathized with the freakshow and their stories, he knew he was not like them. He was a success on his own. So he quit on his own and memories of those first few weeks faded away.
Soon after graduation he landed a criminal defense job with chicago's most connnected firm. This was the big time. The parters defended clients with everything to lose and money to pay attorneys to ensure they didn't. Fuck the morals. He hadn't put himself through a lifetime of schooling to be a public defendant. Student loans, a new mortgage, the car payment, and his ever increasing selection of 3-piece suits cost a shitload. Pay day was coming soon. His job was to keep the firm's clients out of jail. Period.
Now in the court room he smiled at his little demon. Our savvy young attourney supoened KTC for copies of it's members' posts. He admitted into evidence copies of new members's introductions. This is where the truly disturbed wrote the musings of their nicotine deprived minds. Most intros were from members less than one week quit. Then, in a chessmaster's planned style of impending checkmate, he called expert witness to review the introductions. One counseler, two psychiastrists, and one psychologist independantly stated that based upon review of the given posts, the authors of said posts showed clear signs of insanity. Lack of normal behavioral patterns was most often sited, with one professional commenting that depravity of this sort was only seen in training films.
Small pamphlets containing samples of KTC threads were given to the jurors to read. CHECK.
The next morning, a friday, the defense completed the job. The defendant was put on the stand. Our young attorney went through the standard questions answered only by, "i didn"t know, im so sorry," and plenty of tears from the stand. Typical.
Then, the question of the defendent's tobacco history came. After a few prosecutorial objections it was admitted that our driver chewed cope snuff since he was 12. The good stuff. Now, twenty years later he was still struggling to quit. The jurors and all assembled could see the glow in his eyes as he testified about his addiction. Just saying the word "copenhagen" a second time for the stenographer brought him obvious pleasure. "CO - PEN - HAG - EN," he said trying to hold onto each syllable for as long as possible. CHECKMATE. This is what the defense had hoped for. Everyone can recognize the passion of an addict for his drug - and - the instability that comes with the loss of it.
To seal the case, records of the defendents membership in KTC were presented showing that the accident occurred on the third day of his "quit". Having learned the horrors in the mind of a newly quit addict, the jury needed no more. It was also noted that the defendent no longer had a pressence on the site 2 days following the accident and was assumed to have given up quitting.
Only now did the DA see where this newbie defender was leading everyone. Cross examination wasn't memorable. Following closing arguments, the jury returned in under an hour with a " not guilty by reason of insanity" verdict. That was it. Done.
Epilogue:
To celebrate his victory, our heroic young attorney went to the courthouse paper stand and promptly purchased a fresh can of cherry skoal. After all, it was this girl who helped him win an unwinnable case. He popped his first cherry with the help of cherry skoal. Homage needed to be paid after the past six months and it bewilderd him why he had left her out of his life this long.
The defendent went home to his family but couldn't communicate to them the torture he felt inside. He had killed someone in a fit of rage and it tore him up. Nights became filled with warm whiskey, the blue glow of silenced television, and crumbles of snuff constantly about the couch. His work suffered and when it ended so did his marriage.
The family of the deceased went on with their ways. They were one fewer and lonlier than ever.
The defense law firm gained considerable fan fare for the court case. They were able to improve their list of clients on a national scale. A recent victory defending a Detroit Lion's player in the murder of a prostitue was well publicized. It was another seemingly unwinnable case. The athlete was credited later that season for the Lion's superbowl victory.
And as always, one winner always persists. One more in the plus column for the little cherry BITCH.
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Guys,
I get the point. I will talk to Doc (my FIL) this weekend when i see him again. I do sound like a drama pussy. Sorry for that, just have always been a private person. (hence the secret dip and difficulty "drinking the kool-aide".) Fuck it. This quit will be my only quit so i might as well inform those around me. Yeah, accountability. Doc is as smart a man as they come...in his own way. Funny old irishman. I suppose he will understand. BTW i love the logic that there is always someone else who is more fucked up than you are. It is terrible but has a strange comfort to it.
Thanks guys,
-Neil
I had to surprise my FIL with my quit, too. He didn't know I dipped. My wife might have mentioned it to him once following one of the times when she caught me...
He was very cool about it. He did not pass an ounce of judgment. He told me good job. I don't know, bro... Every situation is different but I'd suggest coming clean.
I know I'm damn proud of my quit. I tell people about it as much as I can. "Oh, I didn't even know you chewed," they say. I know. Big time ninja dipping but these, to me, are the consequences... And in sharing my quit, I believe I have positively impacted some people (one guy is 30 days quit without KTC after hearing I was quit).
Just blabbing now, bro. I'm proud to be quit with you today and every day.
-
Guys,
 I get the point. I will talk to Doc (my FIL) this weekend when i see him again. I do sound like a drama pussy. Sorry for that, just have always been a private person. (hence the secret dip and difficulty "drinking the kool-aide".) Fuck it. This quit will be my only quit so i might as well inform those around me. Yeah, accountability. Doc is as smart a man as they come...in his own way. Funny old irishman. I suppose he will understand. BTW i love the logic that there is always someone else who is more fucked up than you are. It is terrible but has a strange comfort to it.
Thanks guys,
-Neil
I had to surprise my FIL with my quit, too. He didn't know I dipped. My wife might have mentioned it to him once following one of the times when she caught me...
He was very cool about it. He did not pass an ounce of judgment. He told me good job. I don't know, bro... Every situation is different but I'd suggest coming clean.
I know I'm damn proud of my quit. I tell people about it as much as I can. "Oh, I didn't even know you chewed," they say. I know. Big time ninja dipping but these, to me, are the consequences... And in sharing my quit, I believe I have positively impacted some people (one guy is 30 days quit without KTC after hearing I was quit).
Just blabbing now, bro. I'm proud to be quit with you today and every day.
SGT,
Its interesting that you mention pride in your quit as an empowering device. I am now proud of my quit, and grow more each day. When i used nic everyday this was not the case. For me, the first couple months were great. I would retire to the basement workshop to build whatever interested me. Some nights i worked on building "piglet" the mini bike.
Other nights i would teardown some broken portion of piglet just to see how it worked. Everything seemed interesting at first.
The point is that nicotine has a way of claiming credit for anything positve. Any night I spent workinging on a fun project, was a night i could chew. I would retire to the basement shop as soon as dinner was over. In went a pinch of cope fom the tin hidden on the duct work. And then...peace.
You have to remember, I was 15 at this time and living under my parents rule. Plus...
Privacy was hard to come by at that age. Nobody bothered you in the basement, and i knew it was just me, piglet, and the chew can of infinite possibility.
It didnt take long for my nic addled brain to associate shop time with chew, and chew with physical work, and i already new how physical work led to success. Done. That was all it took.
But the worst part of those days is how I would CREDIT the nic hussy. I honestly thought my accomplishments were due to the secret diping. Tired? Chew. Bord? Chew. Build a mini bike? Chew. The tin was always there to give me power over any problem in my way. Once i turned 16 there was nothing worth doing if a pinch didnt come along too. And that...is true addiction.
Hear we are now, only a few days into removing dip from our lives. For my brain, that means removing the drug that makes all other parts of life possible. I felt useless well into the second week of quit.
Until i realized...that i could take the garbage out without a fresh pinch. Later i found i could walk the dog without scrambling for a tin. These moments grew in numbers until i finally got what message everyone is talking about here. Nicotine never helped me do anything better. It just added complexity and stress to my life. Fuck that.
Im still a newbie 3 week quitter but i can say i dont miss the anxiety of constantly knowing the volume of chew i have left. I can walk out the door, hop in the truck, and not worry about how to get my next can. That is freedom, and all the hurt so far is well worth it.
Stay quit bro,
Grizzfall
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Guys,
 I get the point. I will talk to Doc (my FIL) this weekend when i see him again. I do sound like a drama pussy. Sorry for that, just have always been a private person. (hence the secret dip and difficulty "drinking the kool-aide".) Fuck it. This quit will be my only quit so i might as well inform those around me. Yeah, accountability. Doc is as smart a man as they come...in his own way. Funny old irishman. I suppose he will understand. BTW i love the logic that there is always someone else who is more fucked up than you are. It is terrible but has a strange comfort to it.
Thanks guys,
-Neil
I had to surprise my FIL with my quit, too. He didn't know I dipped. My wife might have mentioned it to him once following one of the times when she caught me...
He was very cool about it. He did not pass an ounce of judgment. He told me good job. I don't know, bro... Every situation is different but I'd suggest coming clean.
I know I'm damn proud of my quit. I tell people about it as much as I can. "Oh, I didn't even know you chewed," they say. I know. Big time ninja dipping but these, to me, are the consequences... And in sharing my quit, I believe I have positively impacted some people (one guy is 30 days quit without KTC after hearing I was quit).
Just blabbing now, bro. I'm proud to be quit with you today and every day.
SGT,
Its interesting that you mention pride in your quit as an empowering device. I am now proud of my quit, and grow more each day. When i used nic everyday this was not the case. For me, the first couple months were great. I would retire to the basement workshop to build whatever interested me. Some nights i worked on building "piglet" the mini bike.
Other nights i would teardown some broken portion of piglet just to see how it worked. Everything seemed interesting at first.
The point is that nicotine has a way of claiming credit for anything positve. Any night I spent workinging on a fun project, was a night i could chew. I would retire to the basement shop as soon as dinner was over. In went a pinch of cope fom the tin hidden on the duct work. And then...peace.
You have to remember, I was 15 at this time and living under my parents rule. Plus...
Privacy was hard to come by at that age. Nobody bothered you in the basement, and i knew it was just me, piglet, and the chew can of infinite possibility.
It didnt take long for my nic addled brain to associate shop time with chew, and chew with physical work, and i already new how physical work led to success. Done. That was all it took.
But the worst part of those days is how I would CREDIT the nic hussy. I honestly thought my accomplishments were due to the secret diping. Tired? Chew. Bord? Chew. Build a mini bike? Chew. The tin was always there to give me power over any problem in my way. Once i turned 16 there was nothing worth doing if a pinch didnt come along too. And that...is true addiction.
Hear we are now, only a few days into removing dip from our lives. For my brain, that means removing the drug that makes all other parts of life possible. I felt useless well into the second week of quit.
Until i realized...that i could take the garbage out without a fresh pinch. Later i found i could walk the dog without scrambling for a tin. These moments grew in numbers until i finally got what message everyone is talking about here. Nicotine never helped me do anything better. It just added complexity and stress to my life. Fuck that.
Im still a newbie 3 week quitter but i can say i dont miss the anxiety of constantly knowing the volume of chew i have left. I can walk out the door, hop in the truck, and not worry about how to get my next can. That is freedom, and all the hurt so far is well worth it.
Stay quit bro,
Grizzfall
Great job bro. You are uncovering the lies daily. It's one thing for us to tell you the lies, but when you start uncovering them yourself it means you are healing. One day at a time and you can have back a lot of what the poison has stolen. Never again for any reason and you can keep it. Glad to be quit with you .
-
Guys,
 I get the point. I will talk to Doc (my FIL) this weekend when i see him again. I do sound like a drama pussy. Sorry for that, just have always been a private person. (hence the secret dip and difficulty "drinking the kool-aide".) Fuck it. This quit will be my only quit so i might as well inform those around me. Yeah, accountability. Doc is as smart a man as they come...in his own way. Funny old irishman. I suppose he will understand. BTW i love the logic that there is always someone else who is more fucked up than you are. It is terrible but has a strange comfort to it.
Thanks guys,
-Neil
I had to surprise my FIL with my quit, too. He didn't know I dipped. My wife might have mentioned it to him once following one of the times when she caught me...
He was very cool about it. He did not pass an ounce of judgment. He told me good job. I don't know, bro... Every situation is different but I'd suggest coming clean.
I know I'm damn proud of my quit. I tell people about it as much as I can. "Oh, I didn't even know you chewed," they say. I know. Big time ninja dipping but these, to me, are the consequences... And in sharing my quit, I believe I have positively impacted some people (one guy is 30 days quit without KTC after hearing I was quit).
Just blabbing now, bro. I'm proud to be quit with you today and every day.
SGT,
Its interesting that you mention pride in your quit as an empowering device. I am now proud of my quit, and grow more each day. When i used nic everyday this was not the case. For me, the first couple months were great. I would retire to the basement workshop to build whatever interested me. Some nights i worked on building "piglet" the mini bike.
Other nights i would teardown some broken portion of piglet just to see how it worked. Everything seemed interesting at first.
The point is that nicotine has a way of claiming credit for anything positve. Any night I spent workinging on a fun project, was a night i could chew. I would retire to the basement shop as soon as dinner was over. In went a pinch of cope fom the tin hidden on the duct work. And then...peace.
You have to remember, I was 15 at this time and living under my parents rule. Plus...
Privacy was hard to come by at that age. Nobody bothered you in the basement, and i knew it was just me, piglet, and the chew can of infinite possibility.
It didnt take long for my nic addled brain to associate shop time with chew, and chew with physical work, and i already new how physical work led to success. Done. That was all it took.
But the worst part of those days is how I would CREDIT the nic hussy. I honestly thought my accomplishments were due to the secret diping. Tired? Chew. Bord? Chew. Build a mini bike? Chew. The tin was always there to give me power over any problem in my way. Once i turned 16 there was nothing worth doing if a pinch didnt come along too. And that...is true addiction.
Hear we are now, only a few days into removing dip from our lives. For my brain, that means removing the drug that makes all other parts of life possible. I felt useless well into the second week of quit.
Until i realized...that i could take the garbage out without a fresh pinch. Later i found i could walk the dog without scrambling for a tin. These moments grew in numbers until i finally got what message everyone is talking about here. Nicotine never helped me do anything better. It just added complexity and stress to my life. Fuck that.
Im still a newbie 3 week quitter but i can say i dont miss the anxiety of constantly knowing the volume of chew i have left. I can walk out the door, hop in the truck, and not worry about how to get my next can. That is freedom, and all the hurt so far is well worth it.
Stay quit bro,
Grizzfall
Great job bro. You are uncovering the lies daily. It's one thing for us to tell you the lies, but when you start uncovering them yourself it means you are healing. One day at a time and you can have back a lot of what the poison has stolen. Never again for any reason and you can keep it. Glad to be quit with you .
Every time I read these updates I think... Is this itsgottohappen ??? Because his story sounds a whole hell of a lot like this. Today Ryan hits day 300 of freedom. The beginning of the journey to freedom seems like an impossible trek, but it is possible. I don't know if you have read ig2h's thread, but if not, it is a great read. For you, it might be like a crystal ball to a very bright future.
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Grizzfall. Let me start by saying wow. At 24 days you have a quit maturity that I don't see in most HOFers.
The 3 points from you PM.
1. No apologies necessary or accepted. You talk when you can you type when you can. This site is a tool. You use it when you need to. Take what you need leave the rest.
2. Sitting 25 ft up and waiting for Mr big is a reference to bowhunting. But your 80s music thing almost made me fall out of the tree.
3. No credentials are required to help others. A few encouraging words from a rock star 3+ week quitter like yourself could be the difference in someones quit. Never know. Just be yourself and tell people how you did it.
Stay quit bud. Thanks for the kind words on my thread. I am glad that you are getting better. Nice to watch you win.
Ryan
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Dear Diary,
It feels like a lot of the confusion and bi-polar crap is settling down. I had a brief, but comfortable discussion with doc (FIL) about quitting. He didnt seem surpised with the fact i chewed, but was a bit taken aback when i started the conversation. Its funny how i could lie to myself about what others thought about my chewing. But its fucking hilarious that i thought i hid it well. The in-laws are some stubborn irish folk, my wife included. They can live a lifetime with something wrong and never say a word. However, once a issue is voiced, it is public domain. Now that being quit is out in the open all that fear of being discovered is gone. All those years in fear of being caught...wasted time. So thanks for the push guys. Your advice and shared experience builds my quit and then echoes into the lives of my family and friends. They dont know it, but i do.
Thanks KTC
Grizzfall
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Dear Diary,
It feels like a lot of the confusion and bi-polar crap is settling down. I had a brief, but comfortable discussion with doc (FIL) about quitting. He didnt seem surpised with the fact i chewed, but was a bit taken aback when i started the conversation. Its funny how i could lie to myself about what others thought about my chewing. But its fucking hilarious that i thought i hid it well. The in-laws are some stubborn irish folk, my wife included. They can live a lifetime with something wrong and never say a word. However, once a issue is voiced, it is public domain. Now that being quit is out in the open all that fear of being discovered is gone. All those years in fear of being caught...wasted time. So thanks for the push guys. Your advice and shared experience builds my quit and then echoes into the lives of my family and friends. They dont know it, but i do.
Thanks KTC
Grizzfall
Congratulations on adding another powerful layer of accountability to your quit. You are rocking it!
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Brothers,
As the slow march of time progresses I am beginning to see the patterning. There is the cyclical pattern of quitting, with each revolution becoming less frequent and less intense. There is the pattern of new quitters posting their first introduction with skydiver commitment. And there is a pattern of failure. This one I haven't figured out yet.
Jan.14 is my class and my rock. I know that some will fail and have been told so by those who have gone before. But I am still surprised with the caves. I'm surprised with the guy who preached victory and the guy who quietly disappeared from roll. Both types of quitter have failed in Jan 14. It makes me question my own fortitude and understand how one cave weakens the group. It also pisses me off that they won't enjoy the hard road with the group.
I offer up a request to the pre- HOF community: If you don't plan on seeing this through please bow out now. I have no Interest in wasting more words with cavers. Your cave stole time and effort from me and everyone else who gave a shit about you. Just stay quit or go elsewhere.
-
Brothers,
As the slow march of time progresses I am beginning to see the patterning. There is the cyclical pattern of quitting, with each revolution becoming less frequent and less intense. There is the pattern of new quitters posting their first introduction with skydiver commitment. And there is a pattern of failure. This one I haven't figured out yet.
Jan.14 is my class and my rock. I know that some will fail and have been told so by those who have gone before. But I am still surprised with the caves. I'm surprised with the guy who preached victory and the guy who quietly disappeared from roll. Both types of quitter have failed in Jan 14. It makes me question my own fortitude and understand how one cave weakens the group. It also pisses me off that they won't enjoy the hard road with the group.
I offer up a request to the pre- HOF community: If you don't plan on seeing this through please bow out now. I have no Interest in wasting more words with cavers. Your cave stole time and effort from me and everyone else who gave a shit about you. Just stay quit or go elsewhere.
Grizz - I've kind of got mixed feelings on the cavers. They got me down a bit too. After hof my group lost a lot of our team - did they cave or just leave? In the end... Doesn't matter to me. Wish them well , but I'm surrounded by a group that is strong now. Stick with your strength and let the anger propel you further forward. This quit is for you. No caver can take that away or make it any less sweet. But I still get pissed at cavers!
-
Brothers,
 As the slow march of time progresses I am beginning to see the patterning. There is the cyclical pattern of quitting, with each revolution becoming less frequent and less intense. There is the pattern of new quitters posting their first introduction with skydiver commitment. And there is a pattern of failure. This one I haven't figured out yet.
   Jan.14 is my class and my rock. I know that some will fail and have been told so by those who have gone before. But I am still surprised with the caves. I'm surprised with the guy who preached victory and the guy who quietly disappeared from roll. Both types of quitter have failed in Jan 14. It makes me question my own fortitude and understand how one cave weakens the group. It also pisses me off that they won't enjoy the hard road with the group.
  I offer up a request to the pre- HOF community: If you don't plan on seeing this through please bow out now. I have no Interest in wasting more words with cavers. Your cave stole time and effort from me and everyone else who gave a shit about you. Just stay quit or go elsewhere.
Grizz - I've kind of got mixed feelings on the cavers. They got me down a bit too. After hof my group lost a lot of our team - did they cave or just leave? In the end... Doesn't matter to me. Wish them well , but I'm surrounded by a group that is strong now. Stick with your strength and let the anger propel you further forward. This quit is for you. No caver can take that away or make it any less sweet. But I still get pissed at cavers!
Hey Grizz,
I can't tell you it gets better....it may get tougher the closer you get. I can tell you that the unfortunate cavers and situations that beset our group leading up to the HOF helped me forge some of the closest bonds with guys in my group. It's unreal how many guys can come and go in that 100 days. Like w2w said this quit is for you, let every caver remind you that your only $5 and a bad decision away from the same fate. Stay involved and keep up the good work man!
-
Jan 14'
Go saturday. Saturday fucking rocks. Less stress than the weekdays and no excuse to dip. Saturdays are what you want to make of them. Work. Play. Fuck. Explore. Read. Anything.
My saturday will be enjoyed to the fullest without chew, and i now say that with confidence. A few weeks back i couldn't. So have a good saturday everyone. We are killing it! Keep quit.
-Grizzfall
-
Jan 14'
 Go saturday. Saturday fucking rocks. Less stress than the weekdays and no excuse to dip. Saturdays are what you want to make of them. Work. Play. Fuck. Explore. Read. Anything.
My saturday will be enjoyed to the fullest without chew, and i now say that with confidence. A few weeks back i couldn't. So have a good saturday everyone. We are killing it! Keep quit.
-Grizzfall
'do it'
My Saturday Night Ride
-
To the quit,
It is forty days for me today. From here on out it is brand new quit territory. The last and only time i got this far, i tried to "forget" that i was an addict. So i bought a tin, cause i didnt realize the danger and so on and so on... Not this time.
I dont know if it is the weather, or the job going poorly, or guilt about spending time hunting opening day this weekend, or quitting. But i feel low. I hope it is just one more bottom curve on the sign wave of quitting. But, stay quit i will.
So for the fresh quitters getting into this, know that it will not all be roses. Nic will chomp at your heels when your guard falls. It will come when life is anything but perfect. Be ready and be strong.
-grizzfall
-
40 days, Grizz that is awesome. I kinda had a down day too and I called a friend of mine. He said don't worry man, that's good news. I was like, why the hell is being down the "good news". He said, life is peaks and valleys man, if you are in a valley it means a peak is coming up. I have relinquished myself to a hot shower and an early bed night when I'm feeling in a valley.
Your are doing great Grizz.
Mogul
-
I am 33 days and I had a similar day today.. Even though I was actually productive at work for once I felt like a pile all day.. I could barely stay awake on my drive to work (I actually had to pull over and take a 10 minute nap cause I thought I may crash)
I had been feeling great after my deer last weekend.. but last night I slept like shit and felt terrible all day.. I thought of dip today more than I have since probably day 8
One day at a time man.. 40 is great.. cant get to 41 if you dont get through 40
-
Hey Ben, Nice Ass!!!!
-
Be careful Mogul, someone might take your compliment to Ben out of context!
-
To the quit,
It is forty days for me today. From here on out it is brand new quit territory. The last and only time i got this far, i tried to "forget" that i was an addict. So i bought a tin, cause i didnt realize the danger and so on and so on... Not this time.
I dont know if it is the weather, or the job going poorly, or guilt about spending time hunting opening day this weekend, or quitting. But i feel low. I hope it is just one more bottom curve on the sign wave of quitting. But, stay quit i will.
So for the fresh quitters getting into this, know that it will not all be roses. Nic will chomp at your heels when your guard falls. It will come when life is anything but perfect. Be ready and be strong.
-grizzfall
Great advice Grizzfall.
It doesnt matter how we "feel" on any particular day. Variable emotions are all just part of the human condition. Happy days, somber days, tired, sad, elated, vibrant, etc, etc, etc. We give dip far too much credit for having anything to do with this variabilty. Nicotine never did anything for us but simply remove the withdrawal that IT created. Thats it, nothing more. You had down days while using too. Think about it.
Keep us the great work. Quitting will suck, until it doesnt, and then it wont. Hang in there, you are right where you should be from my perspective.
Ryan
-
To the quit,
It is forty days for me today. From here on out it is brand new quit territory. The last and only time i got this far, i tried to "forget" that i was an addict. So i bought a tin, cause i didnt realize the danger and so on and so on... Not this time.
I dont know if it is the weather, or the job going poorly, or guilt about spending time hunting opening day this weekend, or quitting. But i feel low. I hope it is just one more bottom curve on the sign wave of quitting. But, stay quit i will.
So for the fresh quitters getting into this, know that it will not all be roses. Nic will chomp at your heels when your guard falls. It will come when life is anything but perfect. Be ready and be strong.
-grizzfall
Congrats on making 40 days dude. Im proud to call you a quit brother
-
To the quit,
 It is forty days for me today. From here on out it is brand new quit territory. The last and only time i got this far, i tried to "forget" that i was an addict. So i bought a tin, cause i didnt realize the danger and so on and so on... Not this time.
 I dont know if it is the weather, or the job going poorly, or guilt about spending time hunting opening day this weekend, or quitting. But i feel low. I hope it is just one more bottom curve on the sign wave of quitting. But, stay quit i will.
 So for the fresh quitters getting into this, know that it will not all be roses. Nic will chomp at your heels when your guard falls. It will come when life is anything but perfect. Be ready and be strong.
-grizzfall
Congrats on making 40 days dude. Im proud to call you a quit brother
Nice!
-
To the quit,
  It is forty days for me today. From here on out it is brand new quit territory. The last and only time i got this far, i tried to "forget" that i was an addict. So i bought a tin, cause i didnt realize the danger and so on and so on... Not this time.
  I dont know if it is the weather, or the job going poorly, or guilt about spending time hunting opening day this weekend, or quitting. But i feel low. I hope it is just one more bottom curve on the sign wave of quitting. But, stay quit i will.
 So for the fresh quitters getting into this, know that it will not all be roses. Nic will chomp at your heels when your guard falls. It will come when life is anything but perfect. Be ready and be strong.
-grizzfall
Congrats on making 40 days dude. Im proud to call you a quit brother
Nice!
Grizzfall, you get it. Sunshine and roses come and go but there is a need that when you feel like laying down, you keep going. Only day by day. 40 is great and you are feeling the funk. Triggers and beating them. You win but it doesn't feel good.
Glad to see you are on course. Day by day, keep quitting. Shortly you will wake and for no reason, feel so good and have a confidence and appreciation. Proud to be on your side. If we were on opposite sides, I'd worry about getting my ass kicked.
I don't feel sorry for nicotine but she is getting a beatdown.
-
To the quit,
  It is forty days for me today. From here on out it is brand new quit territory. The last and only time i got this far, i tried to "forget" that i was an addict. So i bought a tin, cause i didnt realize the danger and so on and so on... Not this time.
  I dont know if it is the weather, or the job going poorly, or guilt about spending time hunting opening day this weekend, or quitting. But i feel low. I hope it is just one more bottom curve on the sign wave of quitting. But, stay quit i will.
 So for the fresh quitters getting into this, know that it will not all be roses. Nic will chomp at your heels when your guard falls. It will come when life is anything but perfect. Be ready and be strong.
-grizzfall
Congrats on making 40 days dude. Im proud to call you a quit brother
Nice!
Grizzfall, you get it. Sunshine and roses come and go but there is a need that when you feel like laying down, you keep going. Only day by day. 40 is great and you are feeling the funk. Triggers and beating them. You win but it doesn't feel good.
Glad to see you are on course. Day by day, keep quitting. Shortly you will wake and for no reason, feel so good and have a confidence and appreciation. Proud to be on your side. If we were on opposite sides, I'd worry about getting my ass kicked.
I don't feel sorry for nicotine but she is getting a beatdown.
Way to stay strong through a tough day. It will come and go. Every time you beat this addition down, it will get better and easier to deal with the following days. Stay strong bro, Stay quit!
-
To the quit,
  It is forty days for me today. From here on out it is brand new quit territory. The last and only time i got this far, i tried to "forget" that i was an addict. So i bought a tin, cause i didnt realize the danger and so on and so on... Not this time.
  I dont know if it is the weather, or the job going poorly, or guilt about spending time hunting opening day this weekend, or quitting. But i feel low. I hope it is just one more bottom curve on the sign wave of quitting. But, stay quit i will.
 So for the fresh quitters getting into this, know that it will not all be roses. Nic will chomp at your heels when your guard falls. It will come when life is anything but perfect. Be ready and be strong.
-grizzfall
Congrats on making 40 days dude. Im proud to call you a quit brother
Nice!
Grizzfall, you get it. Sunshine and roses come and go but there is a need that when you feel like laying down, you keep going. Only day by day. 40 is great and you are feeling the funk. Triggers and beating them. You win but it doesn't feel good.
Glad to see you are on course. Day by day, keep quitting. Shortly you will wake and for no reason, feel so good and have a confidence and appreciation. Proud to be on your side. If we were on opposite sides, I'd worry about getting my ass kicked.
I don't feel sorry for nicotine but she is getting a beatdown.
Way to stay strong through a tough day. It will come and go. Every time you beat this addition down, it will get better and easier to deal with the following days. Stay strong bro, Stay quit!
Hang tough. There were peaks and valleys through my first 120 days or so. I am on day 1071 and I rarely think about dip. Things shall improve. Glad you are here.
-
To the quit,
  It is forty days for me today. From here on out it is brand new quit territory. The last and only time i got this far, i tried to "forget" that i was an addict. So i bought a tin, cause i didnt realize the danger and so on and so on... Not this time.
  I dont know if it is the weather, or the job going poorly, or guilt about spending time hunting opening day this weekend, or quitting. But i feel low. I hope it is just one more bottom curve on the sign wave of quitting. But, stay quit i will.
 So for the fresh quitters getting into this, know that it will not all be roses. Nic will chomp at your heels when your guard falls. It will come when life is anything but perfect. Be ready and be strong.
-grizzfall
Congrats on making 40 days dude. Im proud to call you a quit brother
Nice!
Grizzfall, you get it. Sunshine and roses come and go but there is a need that when you feel like laying down, you keep going. Only day by day. 40 is great and you are feeling the funk. Triggers and beating them. You win but it doesn't feel good.
Glad to see you are on course. Day by day, keep quitting. Shortly you will wake and for no reason, feel so good and have a confidence and appreciation. Proud to be on your side. If we were on opposite sides, I'd worry about getting my ass kicked.
I don't feel sorry for nicotine but she is getting a beatdown.
Way to stay strong through a tough day. It will come and go. Every time you beat this addition down, it will get better and easier to deal with the following days. Stay strong bro, Stay quit!
Hang tough. There were peaks and valleys through my first 120 days or so. I am on day 1071 and I rarely think about dip. Things shall improve. Glad you are here.
What Bro. Sco said X 100!
I'm at day 540 and the quit life really does get better. I Promise YOU!
-
Dear Digital Diary,
Today is day 50. It seems like a huge expanse of time has gone by since day one. It could be the change in seasons as i was in shorts when i first quit, and now we have snow on the ground. It could also just be the time distortion that is so prominant in those first ten days. What ever the cause may be, i am damn proud to be here 50 days in, with nothing but optimisism.
No more fear! I will never be afraid of existing without dip. In these last 50 days i have learned that there is no activity i cant do without a dip. Yeah, i still crave one during specific moments, espcially after meals. But i understand that dip does nothing to improve any activity. In fact it's just one more variable to be constantly tended to. Fuck that, i have enough stress already.
My wife and sister in law are very close. Katie tells her about my quit, which is fine. Yesterday, my SIL walked up and handed me a Kennedy 50cent piece. That was pretty cool and stirred some emotion from my otherwise cold, cavernous heart. This quit is for me, but its damn nice to have the support of others.
Keep Quit,
-Grizzfall
-
Dear Digital Diary,
Today is day 50. It seems like a huge expanse of time has gone by since day one. It could be the change in seasons as i was in shorts when i first quit, and now we have snow on the ground. It could also just be the time distortion that is so prominant in those first ten days. What ever the cause may be, i am damn proud to be here 50 days in, with nothing but optimisism.
No more fear! I will never be afraid of existing without dip. In these last 50 days i have learned that there is no activity i cant do without a dip. Yeah, i still crave one during specific moments, espcially after meals. But i understand that dip does nothing to improve any activity. In fact it's just one more variable to be constantly tended to. Fuck that, i have enough stress already.
My wife and sister in law are very close. Katie tells her about my quit, which is fine. Yesterday, my SIL walked up and handed me a Kennedy 50cent piece. That was pretty cool and stirred some emotion from my otherwise cold, cavernous heart. This quit is for me, but its damn nice to have the support of others.
Keep Quit,
-Grizzfall
Your making your way around that corner now. Great job. A whole new world is beginning to open up for you Grizzfall. You will learn a lot about yourself as the next weeks/days pass grizzfall. I'm at 283 and still finding out new things about myself. I'm a lot different of a person without the poison. You are to. Glad to be quit with you today my friend.
-
Dear Digital Diary,
 Today is day 50. It seems like a huge expanse of time has gone by since day one. It could be the change in seasons as i was in shorts when i first quit, and now we have snow on the ground. It could also just be the time distortion that is so prominant in those first ten days. What ever the cause may be, i am damn proud to be here 50 days in, with nothing but optimisism.
  No more fear! I will never be afraid of existing without dip. In these last 50 days i have learned that there is no activity i cant do without a dip. Yeah, i still crave one during specific moments, espcially after meals. But i understand that dip does nothing to improve any activity. In fact it's just one more variable to be constantly tended to. Fuck that, i have enough stress already.
 My wife and sister in law are very close. Katie tells her about my quit, which is fine. Yesterday, my SIL walked up and handed me a Kennedy 50cent piece. That was pretty cool and stirred some emotion from my otherwise cold, cavernous heart. This quit is for me, but its damn nice to have the support of others.
Keep Quit,
-Grizzfall
Your making your way around that corner now. Great job. A whole new world is beginning to open up for you Grizzfall. You will learn a lot about yourself as the next weeks/days pass grizzfall. I'm at 283 and still finding out new things about myself. I'm a lot different of a person without the poison. You are to. Glad to be quit with you today my friend.
Thanks for sharing, Grizzfall. I'm glad you have the support around you. You're an inspiration to me and others. Freedom...what a slave we've been to that can. I'm finding that I don't really know myself at all. On day 23. Nice to hear what it's like with 50 days.
I quit with you today.
-
Dear Digital Diary,
  Today is day 50. It seems like a huge expanse of time has gone by since day one. It could be the change in seasons as i was in shorts when i first quit, and now we have snow on the ground. It could also just be the time distortion that is so prominant in those first ten days. What ever the cause may be, i am damn proud to be here 50 days in, with nothing but optimisism.
  No more fear! I will never be afraid of existing without dip. In these last 50 days i have learned that there is no activity i cant do without a dip. Yeah, i still crave one during specific moments, espcially after meals. But i understand that dip does nothing to improve any activity. In fact it's just one more variable to be constantly tended to. Fuck that, i have enough stress already.
  My wife and sister in law are very close. Katie tells her about my quit, which is fine. Yesterday, my SIL walked up and handed me a Kennedy 50cent piece. That was pretty cool and stirred some emotion from my otherwise cold, cavernous heart. This quit is for me, but its damn nice to have the support of others.
Keep Quit,
-Grizzfall
Your making your way around that corner now. Great job. A whole new world is beginning to open up for you Grizzfall. You will learn a lot about yourself as the next weeks/days pass grizzfall. I'm at 283 and still finding out new things about myself. I'm a lot different of a person without the poison. You are to. Glad to be quit with you today my friend.
Thanks for sharing, Grizzfall. I'm glad you have the support around you. You're an inspiration to me and others. Freedom...what a slave we've been to that can. I'm finding that I don't really know myself at all. On day 23. Nice to hear what it's like with 50 days.
I quit with you today.
Thanks for all of the consistent updates Grizzfall.
Really cool to see your progress from my POV (Day 3er).
Can't wait to follow in your footsteps man.
I quit with you!
-
Dear Digital Diary,
  Today is day 50. It seems like a huge expanse of time has gone by since day one. It could be the change in seasons as i was in shorts when i first quit, and now we have snow on the ground. It could also just be the time distortion that is so prominant in those first ten days. What ever the cause may be, i am damn proud to be here 50 days in, with nothing but optimisism.
  No more fear! I will never be afraid of existing without dip. In these last 50 days i have learned that there is no activity i cant do without a dip. Yeah, i still crave one during specific moments, espcially after meals. But i understand that dip does nothing to improve any activity. In fact it's just one more variable to be constantly tended to. Fuck that, i have enough stress already.
  My wife and sister in law are very close. Katie tells her about my quit, which is fine. Yesterday, my SIL walked up and handed me a Kennedy 50cent piece. That was pretty cool and stirred some emotion from my otherwise cold, cavernous heart. This quit is for me, but its damn nice to have the support of others.
Keep Quit,
-Grizzfall
Your making your way around that corner now. Great job. A whole new world is beginning to open up for you Grizzfall. You will learn a lot about yourself as the next weeks/days pass grizzfall. I'm at 283 and still finding out new things about myself. I'm a lot different of a person without the poison. You are to. Glad to be quit with you today my friend.
Thanks for sharing, Grizzfall. I'm glad you have the support around you. You're an inspiration to me and others. Freedom...what a slave we've been to that can. I'm finding that I don't really know myself at all. On day 23. Nice to hear what it's like with 50 days.
I quit with you today.
Thanks for all of the consistent updates Grizzfall.
Really cool to see your progress from my POV (Day 3er).
Can't wait to follow in your footsteps man.
I quit with you!
And thanks for a guy only a little behind you- your posts keep giving me a glimpse of what might come next for me. Glad to quit with you.
-
Dear Digital Diary,
  Today is day 50. It seems like a huge expanse of time has gone by since day one. It could be the change in seasons as i was in shorts when i first quit, and now we have snow on the ground. It could also just be the time distortion that is so prominant in those first ten days. What ever the cause may be, i am damn proud to be here 50 days in, with nothing but optimisism.
  No more fear! I will never be afraid of existing without dip. In these last 50 days i have learned that there is no activity i cant do without a dip. Yeah, i still crave one during specific moments, espcially after meals. But i understand that dip does nothing to improve any activity. In fact it's just one more variable to be constantly tended to. Fuck that, i have enough stress already.
  My wife and sister in law are very close. Katie tells her about my quit, which is fine. Yesterday, my SIL walked up and handed me a Kennedy 50cent piece. That was pretty cool and stirred some emotion from my otherwise cold, cavernous heart. This quit is for me, but its damn nice to have the support of others.
Keep Quit,
-Grizzfall
Your making your way around that corner now. Great job. A whole new world is beginning to open up for you Grizzfall. You will learn a lot about yourself as the next weeks/days pass grizzfall. I'm at 283 and still finding out new things about myself. I'm a lot different of a person without the poison. You are to. Glad to be quit with you today my friend.
Thanks for sharing, Grizzfall. I'm glad you have the support around you. You're an inspiration to me and others. Freedom...what a slave we've been to that can. I'm finding that I don't really know myself at all. On day 23. Nice to hear what it's like with 50 days.
I quit with you today.
Thanks for all of the consistent updates Grizzfall.
Really cool to see your progress from my POV (Day 3er).
Can't wait to follow in your footsteps man.
I quit with you!
And thanks for a guy only a little behind you- your posts keep giving me a glimpse of what might come next for me. Glad to quit with you.
What brother srans said X 100. We are becoming the men we were meant to be!
We were not born with the poison in our mouths.
Quitting every damn day my feet hit the floor with all the brothers at KTC!
Cheers.
-
Dear Digital Diary,
  Today is day 50. It seems like a huge expanse of time has gone by since day one. It could be the change in seasons as i was in shorts when i first quit, and now we have snow on the ground. It could also just be the time distortion that is so prominant in those first ten days. What ever the cause may be, i am damn proud to be here 50 days in, with nothing but optimisism.
  No more fear! I will never be afraid of existing without dip. In these last 50 days i have learned that there is no activity i cant do without a dip. Yeah, i still crave one during specific moments, espcially after meals. But i understand that dip does nothing to improve any activity. In fact it's just one more variable to be constantly tended to. Fuck that, i have enough stress already.
  My wife and sister in law are very close. Katie tells her about my quit, which is fine. Yesterday, my SIL walked up and handed me a Kennedy 50cent piece. That was pretty cool and stirred some emotion from my otherwise cold, cavernous heart. This quit is for me, but its damn nice to have the support of others.
Keep Quit,
-Grizzfall
Your making your way around that corner now. Great job. A whole new world is beginning to open up for you Grizzfall. You will learn a lot about yourself as the next weeks/days pass grizzfall. I'm at 283 and still finding out new things about myself. I'm a lot different of a person without the poison. You are to. Glad to be quit with you today my friend.
Thanks for sharing, Grizzfall. I'm glad you have the support around you. You're an inspiration to me and others. Freedom...what a slave we've been to that can. I'm finding that I don't really know myself at all. On day 23. Nice to hear what it's like with 50 days.
I quit with you today.
Thanks for all of the consistent updates Grizzfall.
Really cool to see your progress from my POV (Day 3er).
Can't wait to follow in your footsteps man.
I quit with you!
And thanks for a guy only a little behind you- your posts keep giving me a glimpse of what might come next for me. Glad to quit with you.
What brother srans said X 100. We are becoming the men we were meant to be!
We were not born with the poison in our mouths.
Quitting every damn day my feet hit the floor with all the brothers at KTC!
Cheers.
'clap'
-
Dear Digital Diary,
  Today is day 50. It seems like a huge expanse of time has gone by since day one. It could be the change in seasons as i was in shorts when i first quit, and now we have snow on the ground. It could also just be the time distortion that is so prominant in those first ten days. What ever the cause may be, i am damn proud to be here 50 days in, with nothing but optimisism.
  No more fear! I will never be afraid of existing without dip. In these last 50 days i have learned that there is no activity i cant do without a dip. Yeah, i still crave one during specific moments, espcially after meals. But i understand that dip does nothing to improve any activity. In fact it's just one more variable to be constantly tended to. Fuck that, i have enough stress already.
  My wife and sister in law are very close. Katie tells her about my quit, which is fine. Yesterday, my SIL walked up and handed me a Kennedy 50cent piece. That was pretty cool and stirred some emotion from my otherwise cold, cavernous heart. This quit is for me, but its damn nice to have the support of others.
Keep Quit,
-Grizzfall
Your making your way around that corner now. Great job. A whole new world is beginning to open up for you Grizzfall. You will learn a lot about yourself as the next weeks/days pass grizzfall. I'm at 283 and still finding out new things about myself. I'm a lot different of a person without the poison. You are to. Glad to be quit with you today my friend.
Thanks for sharing, Grizzfall. I'm glad you have the support around you. You're an inspiration to me and others. Freedom...what a slave we've been to that can. I'm finding that I don't really know myself at all. On day 23. Nice to hear what it's like with 50 days.
I quit with you today.
Thanks for all of the consistent updates Grizzfall.
Really cool to see your progress from my POV (Day 3er).
Can't wait to follow in your footsteps man.
I quit with you!
And thanks for a guy only a little behind you- your posts keep giving me a glimpse of what might come next for me. Glad to quit with you.
What brother srans said X 100. We are becoming the men we were meant to be!
We were not born with the poison in our mouths.
Quitting every damn day my feet hit the floor with all the brothers at KTC!
Cheers.
'clap'
Keep up the great work Grizzfall. I know exactly what you mean about the support being important. It was the thing that made the difference in my quit. When I hit HOF my 9 year old gave me my KTC coin and told me he was proud of me. WTF, talk about sending a man to his knees. My 9 year old is proud of me, wow, how could I ever go back.
I am glad things are getting better for you. Use the good days to prepare for the tougher days. They dont go away like magic when you hit HOF, I know that you already understand that. This is a process of recovery and it takes some time. The beautiful thing is this.......the success of our quit does NOT depend upon how we FEEL about. There will be good days, and bad days. There will be days that you never think about dip once, there will be others that you crave it badly. We will carry on with life and experince the entire gammit of emotions, high and lows and ups and downs and everything in between. And we can and will do it all, QUIT. Freedom is worth the fight.
Nicotine is off the table.
One is one too many.
N.A.F.A.R.
I will quit with you today Grizzfall, one day at a time.
Ryan
-
Dear Digital Diary,
  Today is day 50. It seems like a huge expanse of time has gone by since day one. It could be the change in seasons as i was in shorts when i first quit, and now we have snow on the ground. It could also just be the time distortion that is so prominant in those first ten days. What ever the cause may be, i am damn proud to be here 50 days in, with nothing but optimisism.
  No more fear! I will never be afraid of existing without dip. In these last 50 days i have learned that there is no activity i cant do without a dip. Yeah, i still crave one during specific moments, espcially after meals. But i understand that dip does nothing to improve any activity. In fact it's just one more variable to be constantly tended to. Fuck that, i have enough stress already.
  My wife and sister in law are very close. Katie tells her about my quit, which is fine. Yesterday, my SIL walked up and handed me a Kennedy 50cent piece. That was pretty cool and stirred some emotion from my otherwise cold, cavernous heart. This quit is for me, but its damn nice to have the support of others.
Keep Quit,
-Grizzfall
Your making your way around that corner now. Great job. A whole new world is beginning to open up for you Grizzfall. You will learn a lot about yourself as the next weeks/days pass grizzfall. I'm at 283 and still finding out new things about myself. I'm a lot different of a person without the poison. You are to. Glad to be quit with you today my friend.
Thanks for sharing, Grizzfall. I'm glad you have the support around you. You're an inspiration to me and others. Freedom...what a slave we've been to that can. I'm finding that I don't really know myself at all. On day 23. Nice to hear what it's like with 50 days.
I quit with you today.
Thanks for all of the consistent updates Grizzfall.
Really cool to see your progress from my POV (Day 3er).
Can't wait to follow in your footsteps man.
I quit with you!
And thanks for a guy only a little behind you- your posts keep giving me a glimpse of what might come next for me. Glad to quit with you.
What brother srans said X 100. We are becoming the men we were meant to be!
We were not born with the poison in our mouths.
Quitting every damn day my feet hit the floor with all the brothers at KTC!
Cheers.
'clap'
Keep up the great work Grizzfall. I know exactly what you mean about the support being important. It was the thing that made the difference in my quit. When I hit HOF my 9 year old gave me my KTC coin and told me he was proud of me. WTF, talk about sending a man to his knees. My 9 year old is proud of me, wow, how could I ever go back.
I am glad things are getting better for you. Use the good days to prepare for the tougher days. They dont go away like magic when you hit HOF, I know that you already understand that. This is a process of recovery and it takes some time. The beautiful thing is this.......the success of our quit does NOT depend upon how we FEEL about. There will be good days, and bad days. There will be days that you never think about dip once, there will be others that you crave it badly. We will carry on with life and experince the entire gammit of emotions, high and lows and ups and downs and everything in between. And we can and will do it all, QUIT. Freedom is worth the fight.
Nicotine is off the table.
One is one too many.
N.A.F.A.R.
I will quit with you today Grizzfall, one day at a time.
Ryan
Grizz-
I can't add much that hasn't been said already. Those wins start to pile up and you realize what a wonderful freedom you have discovered. I just enjoy reading a post from someone that really "gets it", this thing starts out as quitting the dip and as our bodies heal from the poison we abused ourselves with we realize what 30 said..... We are becoming the men we were intended to be, keep strapped in man it keeps getting better!
Quit with you today.
-
Posterity Ponderings,
I have a few minutes before work this morning. Woke up early with anxiety for no reason. The cold sweat in bed type. Kinda thought that was over at this point, but apparently not. Overall had a blah week. No highs, no lows, no feeling. Just going through the motions of daily work and nightly hobbies. Its day 62. Maybe I'm giving nicotine a bit to much credit here, but never before in my life have i had anxious cold sweats, laying in bed, in the pre-dawn hours. If this is part of the price of quitting, I will gladly pay. Does anyone else have advice on dealing with these cycles over two months in?
Second thought: Pinched has changed his avatar. I liked the first one better. A raven beauty with a chimp is tough to trump.
Its cold and pretty outside. Work calls and the weekend is near.
-Grizzfall
-
Usually night sweats is caused by viruses, alcohol, or lack of pussy. Suggest you get some of the latter. Just joking Grizz. You doing great and an inspiration to us. Keep it up. We support your quitting ass.
-
Posterity Ponderings,
I have a few minutes before work this morning. Woke up early with anxiety for no reason. The cold sweat in bed type. Kinda thought that was over at this point, but apparently not. Overall had a blah week. No highs, no lows, no feeling. Just going through the motions of daily work and nightly hobbies. Its day 62. Maybe I'm giving nicotine a bit to much credit here, but never before in my life have i had anxious cold sweats, laying in bed, in the pre-dawn hours. If this is part of the price of quitting, I will gladly pay. Does anyone else have advice on dealing with these cycles over two months in?
Second thought: Pinched has changed his avatar. I liked the first one better. A raven beauty with a chimp is tough to trump.
Its cold and pretty outside. Work calls and the weekend is near.
-Grizzfall
I had the same thing. Its totally normal and it totally sucks, and yes I do believe nic is the root cause of it.
Even after 60 some days your body is still saying, "what the fuck...this shit has gone on long enough, time to give me my posion back". However, since you smartly want your freedom back, you are telling it NO!!! Sending you brain into a fight or flight panic mode, hence the anxiety/cold sweats. I'm not making this shit up and I'm not a doctor, but a doctor did tell me this as the exact same shit happened to me and I freaked like a little baby and went to see a shrink and counselor.
You're learning to live without a life crutch you've leaned on for many years. Its gonna be a bumpy road at times. But over TIME things will get better. Two months is tits, but its gonna tale longer to unravel all the damage you did to yourself by sucking on death dirt.
Read up on some anti anxiety techniques, I know vigorous exercise helped me the most, but their are many other techniques out there.
Finally...don't feel bad or ashamed that you got hit with some anxiety. Its perfectly normal. Nothing to freak out about. It continues to hit you hard, I would suggest going to see your doctor. They can offer some assists. If need be.
Hang tough, bro.
-
Posterity Ponderings,
  I have a few minutes before work this morning. Woke up early with anxiety for no reason. The cold sweat in bed type. Kinda thought that was over at this point, but apparently not. Overall had a blah week. No highs, no lows, no feeling. Just going through the motions of daily work and nightly hobbies. Its day 62. Maybe I'm giving nicotine a bit to much credit here, but never before in my life have i had anxious cold sweats, laying in bed, in the pre-dawn hours. If this is part of the price of quitting, I will gladly pay. Does anyone else have advice on dealing with these cycles over two months in?
 Second thought: Pinched has changed his avatar. I liked the first one better. A raven beauty with a chimp is tough to trump.
 Its cold and pretty outside. Work calls and the weekend is near.
-Grizzfall
I had the same thing. Its totally normal and it totally sucks, and yes I do believe nic is the root cause of it.
Even after 60 some days your body is still saying, "what the fuck...this shit has gone on long enough, time to give me my posion back". However, since you smartly want your freedom back, you are telling it NO!!! Sending you brain into a fight or flight panic mode, hence the anxiety/cold sweats. I'm not making this shit up and I'm not a doctor, but a doctor did tell me this as the exact same shit happened to me and I freaked like a little baby and went to see a shrink and counselor.
You're learning to live without a life crutch you've leaned on for many years. Its gonna be a bumpy road at times. But over TIME things will get better. Two months is tits, but its gonna tale longer to unravel all the damage you did to yourself by sucking on death dirt.
Read up on some anti anxiety techniques, I know vigorous exercise helped me the most, but their are many other techniques out there.
Finally...don't feel bad or ashamed that you got hit with some anxiety. Its perfectly normal. Nothing to freak out about. It continues to hit you hard, I would suggest going to see your doctor. They can offer some assists. If need be.
Hang tough, bro.
You bastards and your accurate perspectives. It really fucking sucks when you need someone to tell you the answers you don't want to believe. I just PM'ed (again, a verb?) Brettlees about falling into that old trap of being to prideful to "complain" about the quitting process. Yeah, that pride is what this intro is titled after. But Diesel is right.
I've said this a few times before. I want to forget I ever chewed tobacco. Never, never ever, did I identify with chewing. I was never a tough guy with a pinch. I was never a cowboy in the field with his horse and copenhagen.
Everybody goes through a self analysis from time to time where they reflect on how others percieve them. Not ever did I think that people viewed me as a dipper. As far as my self-image is concerned, i never chewed tobacco. That shits for losers.
1.5 decades later. Here we are.
I will enjoy this rollercoaster. Shit, i signed up for it. Thanks guys.
This too shall pass.
-Grizzfall
-
Posterity Ponderings,
  I have a few minutes before work this morning. Woke up early with anxiety for no reason. The cold sweat in bed type. Kinda thought that was over at this point, but apparently not. Overall had a blah week. No highs, no lows, no feeling. Just going through the motions of daily work and nightly hobbies. Its day 62. Maybe I'm giving nicotine a bit to much credit here, but never before in my life have i had anxious cold sweats, laying in bed, in the pre-dawn hours. If this is part of the price of quitting, I will gladly pay. Does anyone else have advice on dealing with these cycles over two months in?
 Second thought: Pinched has changed his avatar. I liked the first one better. A raven beauty with a chimp is tough to trump.
  Its cold and pretty outside. Work calls and the weekend is near.
-Grizzfall
I had the same thing. Its totally normal and it totally sucks, and yes I do believe nic is the root cause of it.
Even after 60 some days your body is still saying, "what the fuck...this shit has gone on long enough, time to give me my posion back". However, since you smartly want your freedom back, you are telling it NO!!! Sending you brain into a fight or flight panic mode, hence the anxiety/cold sweats. I'm not making this shit up and I'm not a doctor, but a doctor did tell me this as the exact same shit happened to me and I freaked like a little baby and went to see a shrink and counselor.
You're learning to live without a life crutch you've leaned on for many years. Its gonna be a bumpy road at times. But over TIME things will get better. Two months is tits, but its gonna tale longer to unravel all the damage you did to yourself by sucking on death dirt.
Read up on some anti anxiety techniques, I know vigorous exercise helped me the most, but their are many other techniques out there.
Finally...don't feel bad or ashamed that you got hit with some anxiety. Its perfectly normal. Nothing to freak out about. It continues to hit you hard, I would suggest going to see your doctor. They can offer some assists. If need be.
Hang tough, bro.
You bastards and your accurate perspectives. It really fucking sucks when you need someone to tell you the answers you don't want to believe. I just PM'ed (again, a verb?) Brettlees about falling into that old trap of being to prideful to "complain" about the quitting process. Yeah, that pride is what this intro is titled after. But Diesel is right.
I've said this a few times before. I want to forget I ever chewed tobacco. Never, never ever, did I identify with chewing. I was never a tough guy with a pinch. I was never a cowboy in the field with his horse and copenhagen.
Everybody goes through a self analysis from time to time where they reflect on how others percieve them. Not ever did I think that people viewed me as a dipper. As far as my self-image is concerned, i never chewed tobacco. That shits for losers.
1.5 decades later. Here we are.
I will enjoy this rollercoaster. Shit, i signed up for it. Thanks guys.
This too shall pass.
-Grizzfall
Self realization is a bitch eh? There was a stretch during the first part of my quit where I was colossally embarrassed about how naive I was. I got over it. What's done is done. Now is what matters and you, my man, are rocking it. Proud to quit with you. You want another number?... Pm me bro!
-
Grizz
Anywhere between day 60 and 80 many quitters experience a rough patch. It is well documented and occurs with regularity across all quit groups. It's been referred to as the 70 day funk.
Funks roll in and out for a while longer but the time between them will get gradually larger as well. This is all part of your body readjusting and the nicotine receptors dying off. Your healing now.
The best remedy for the funk is to get your ass up and moving. Exercise will pull you out of it faster than anything else. Walk around the block, shovel snow, or chase the old lady around the house, but get busy.
Stay the course, keep quitting one day at a time, it still gets soooooooo much better than it is now. You can do it... I know you can.
sM
-
I'm with you on the storing the beers on the deck. It is rewarding. I feel like captain planet saving the world by harnessing the power of nature's ice box
There should be more Public Service Announcements about this practical step to save energy. Instead, i saw a PSA yesterday with the tag line "Stop Senior Abuse". I dont know how you all feel, but right then and there i made the hard choice to not go to grampas house and smack him around. Effective advertising by the Ad Council there.
Fuck, now im getting pissed here.
Ok you guys do watch or hear the PSA's that the Ad Council produces? Right. They are the commercials that your tax dollars produce, and radio/TV sations are required to give airtime too by the FCC. Take note of the topical matter they choose to crusade for.
"Talk to your kids about drugs"
"Kindness, pass it on"
"Kids need three square meals a day"
"Be a real man and stay in your child's life"
"Stop senior abuse"
"Riding your bike reduces carbon emmisions"
"Shut the water off when you brush your teeth"
"Don't text and drive with a tripple Latte"
Maybe im the asshole here, but not one of these messages have changed my behavior. I never saw the 30 second clip of mom making breakfast for her school age children and said "Holy Shit! Hey Honey! Do you know we have to feed the kids morning, noon and night!?"
Furthur more, and i will stereotype here, how many male members of the African American community watched the PSA about raising your offspring and decided, "Damn its time to look up Shaquel, Brianique, Sandrina, Lucindra, and Ladasha. Im gonna start paying alimony to all these Bitches i made babies with. Just gotta figure out how to spell their names, get an address, send a money order, and maybe even take one to a Lakers game."
These PSA are devoid of any real message. As a society we should be ashamed that we need commercials to tell us how to live. A generation ago people didnt need to be told to feed their kids, not abandon their kids, dont read the newspaper when you drive (texting), and stop beating on grandpa. Why now then?
The folks who need these messages should be shot and culled. Once thats done, we can deal with some real problems.
I want to see an a commercial where a 14 yr old kid has his first dip. I want to then see a time lapse of his teens where he has to beg older dudes to buy it for him. I want a side shot of the prettiest girl in school having a secret crush on our young star only to see him spit brown juice with the boys and then walk away. I want to see his college years go on while he looks for enough money in the couch cushions for a tin. An image of him re-chewing the same wad, stored on the radiator for warmth, would be nice here. On the right hand side of the screen i want a constantly growing stack of tins with a dollar amount ticking away below. As the time lapse continues we can image his wedding day, childs birth, daughters sweet sixteen, and her send off to Yale....all with a stream of brown juice in the background. Finally lets end the film with his oral cancer, rotted face, emaciated corpse, and death. Thats what i want to see in the next PSA. Put it on during the superbowl and i guranfuckingtee lives will be saved.
Fuck you Ad Council. Try being better at your job.
-Grizzfall
(I didnt expect to get into this here. Will repost on my own intro. Carry on)
-
I'm with you on the storing the beers on the deck. It is rewarding. I feel like captain planet saving the world by harnessing the power of nature's ice box
There should be more Public Service Announcements about this practical step to save energy. Instead, i saw a PSA yesterday with the tag line "Stop Senior Abuse". I dont know how you all feel, but right then and there i made the hard choice to not go to grampas house and smack him around. Effective advertising by the Ad Council there.
Fuck, now im getting pissed here.
Ok you guys do watch or hear the PSA's that the Ad Council produces? Right. They are the commercials that your tax dollars produce, and radio/TV sations are required to give airtime too by the FCC. Take note of the topical matter they choose to crusade for.
"Talk to your kids about drugs"
"Kindness, pass it on"
"Kids need three square meals a day"
"Be a real man and stay in your child's life"
"Stop senior abuse"
"Riding your bike reduces carbon emmisions"
"Shut the water off when you brush your teeth"
"Don't text and drive with a tripple Latte"
Maybe im the asshole here, but not one of these messages have changed my behavior. I never saw the 30 second clip of mom making breakfast for her school age children and said "Holy Shit! Hey Honey! Do you know we have to feed the kids morning, noon and night!?"
Furthur more, and i will stereotype here, how many male members of the African American community watched the PSA about raising your offspring and decided, "Damn its time to look up Shaquel, Brianique, Sandrina, Lucindra, and Ladasha. Im gonna start paying alimony to all these Bitches i made babies with. Just gotta figure out how to spell their names, get an address, send a money order, and maybe even take one to a Lakers game."
These PSA are devoid of any real message. As a society we should be ashamed that we need commercials to tell us how to live. A generation ago people didnt need to be told to feed their kids, not abandon their kids, dont read the newspaper when you drive (texting), and stop beating on grandpa. Why now then?
The folks who need these messages should be shot and culled. Once thats done, we can deal with some real problems.
I want to see an a commercial where a 14 yr old kid has his first dip. I want to then see a time lapse of his teens where he has to beg older dudes to buy it for him. I want a side shot of the prettiest girl in school having a secret crush on our young star only to see him spit brown juice with the boys and then walk away. I want to see his college years go on while he looks for enough money in the couch cushions for a tin. An image of him re-chewing the same wad, stored on the radiator for warmth, would be nice here. On the right hand side of the screen i want a constantly growing stack of tins with a dollar amount ticking away below. As the time lapse continues we can image his wedding day, childs birth, daughters sweet sixteen, and her send off to Yale....all with a stream of brown juice in the background. Finally lets end the film with his oral cancer, rotted face, emaciated corpse, and death. Thats what i want to see in the next PSA. Put it on during the superbowl and i guranfuckingtee lives will be saved.
Fuck you Ad Council. Try being better at your job.
-Grizzfall
(I didnt expect to get into this here. Will repost on my own intro. Carry on)
http://www.picgifs.com/smileys/s (http://www.picgifs.com/smileys/s) This post rocks!!
'Finger' Ad Council, I have always felt the same way about that crap.
-
I'm with you on the storing the beers on the deck. It is rewarding. I feel like captain planet saving the world by harnessing the power of nature's ice box
 There should be more Public Service Announcements about this practical step to save energy. Instead, i saw a PSA yesterday with the tag line "Stop Senior Abuse". I dont know how you all feel, but right then and there i made the hard choice to not go to grampas house and smack him around. Effective advertising by the Ad Council there.
 Fuck, now im getting pissed here.
 Ok you guys do watch or hear the PSA's that the Ad Council produces? Right. They are the commercials that your tax dollars produce, and radio/TV sations are required to give airtime too by the FCC. Take note of the topical matter they choose to crusade for.
 "Talk to your kids about drugs"
 "Kindness, pass it on"
  "Kids need three square meals a day"
  "Be a real man and stay in your child's life"
  "Stop senior abuse"
  "Riding your bike reduces carbon emmisions"
  "Shut the water off when you brush your teeth"
  "Don't text and drive with a tripple Latte"
 Maybe im the asshole here, but not one of these messages have changed my behavior. I never saw the 30 second clip of mom making breakfast for her school age children and said "Holy Shit! Hey Honey! Do you know we have to feed the kids morning, noon and night!?"
 Furthur more, and i will stereotype here, how many male members of the African American community watched the PSA about raising your offspring and decided, "Damn its time to look up Shaquel, Brianique, Sandrina, Lucindra, and Ladasha. Im gonna start paying alimony to all these Bitches i made babies with. Just gotta figure out how to spell their names, get an address, send a money order, and maybe even take one to a Lakers game."
  These PSA are devoid of any real message. As a society we should be ashamed that we need commercials to tell us how to live. A generation ago people didnt need to be told to feed their kids, not abandon their kids, dont read the newspaper when you drive (texting), and stop beating on grandpa. Why now then?
  The folks who need these messages should be shot and culled. Once thats done, we can deal with some real problems.
Â
  I want to see an a commercial where a 14 yr old kid has his first dip. I want to then see a time lapse of his teens where he has to beg older dudes to buy it for him. I want a side shot of the prettiest girl in school having a secret crush on our young star only to see him spit brown juice with the boys and then walk away. I want to see his college years go on while he looks for enough money in the couch cushions for a tin. An image of him re-chewing the same wad, stored on the radiator for warmth, would be nice here. On the right hand side of the screen i want a constantly growing stack of tins with a dollar amount ticking away below. As the time lapse continues we can image his wedding day, childs birth, daughters sweet sixteen, and her send off to Yale....all with a stream of brown juice in the background. Finally lets end the film with his oral cancer, rotted face, emaciated corpse, and death. Thats what i want to see in the next PSA. Put it on during the superbowl and i guranfuckingtee lives will be saved.
Fuck you Ad Council. Try being better at your job.
-Grizzfall
(I didnt expect to get into this here. Will repost on my own intro. Carry on)
http://www.picgifs.com/smileys/s (http://www.picgifs.com/smileys/s) This post rocks!!
'Finger' Ad Council, I have always felt the same way about that crap.
Wow Grizz you and I have way more in common than just being KTC quit-brothers from WNY. Well stated man. I laughed out loud and said hell yeah!
-
(Just putting this here so i can reference it later. Move along)
You might remember a news story here in Buffalo about 6-7 years back.
A twenty-odd year old guy was riding his horse with his then girlfriend - a nurse. They had a dog with them. They were up above a horse farm maybe a 1/4 mile off the road. Up at the crest of the lane way was a small pond that was used to pump water for the horse barn below. That pump hadn't been used in years but nobody ever bothered to turn the circuit off in the breaker box. I, and everybody else who rode in the area went by the pond and stopped to let the horses drink and the dogs swim. Well, finally that pump shorted out.
On that hot August day into the pond went the dog and he immediately seized/convulsed. The fellow on the horse, not understanding what had happened to the dog, went in the water to pull the dog out and suffered the same paralyzing fate. The girlfriend/nurse finally got the idea and ran her horse back the house for help. What followed is a testament to science and medicine.
The guy was helicoptered to the hospital and had his core temp reduced to 92 degrees. His heart was stopped for over 20 minutes. Remember here, he was being electrocuted for the entire time his body was in the water. So the ER staff cooled him with ice as fast as possible to prevent brain damage. They restarted his heart as the helicopter landed. He was in a coma for 2-3 days. When he came out of the coma he was borderline retarded. The dog, of course, died there, cold and alone in the water. If the girl had went in the water after them...yeah... but she didnt.
That guy is my brother in law and best friend.
That dog was my dog and my best friend.
Here is where this ties into quitting and such. My brother in law made a crazy full recovery. Two weeks later we had a beer together with no after affects from the incident. You know what we also had? We had our tins and faces full of dip. Think about this, not just you B-LO but everybody else who may read this.
THIS IS AS CLOSE TO DYING AS IT GETS. THIS WAS, AND STILL IS AT THE EDGE OF MEDICAL PROCEDURES. WE CELEBRATED SURVIVAL BY SLOWLY KILLING OURSELVES. HOW FUCKED UP IS THAT.
STAY QUIT.
-Grizzfall
-
(Just putting this here so i can reference it later. Move along)
You might remember a news story here in Buffalo about 6-7 years back.
A twenty-odd year old guy was riding his horse with his then girlfriend - a nurse. They had a dog with them. They were up above a horse farm maybe a 1/4 mile off the road. Up at the crest of the lane way was a small pond that was used to pump water for the horse barn below. That pump hadn't been used in years but nobody ever bothered to turn the circuit off in the breaker box. I, and everybody else who rode in the area went by the pond and stopped to let the horses drink and the dogs swim. Well, finally that pump shorted out.
On that hot August day into the pond went the dog and he immediately seized/convulsed. The fellow on the horse, not understanding what had happened to the dog, went in the water to pull the dog out and suffered the same paralyzing fate. The girlfriend/nurse finally got the idea and ran her horse back the house for help. What followed is a testament to science and medicine.
The guy was helicoptered to the hospital and had his core temp reduced to 92 degrees. His heart was stopped for over 20 minutes. Remember here, he was being electrocuted for the entire time his body was in the water. So the ER staff cooled him with ice as fast as possible to prevent brain damage. They restarted his heart as the helicopter landed. He was in a coma for 2-3 days. When he came out of the coma he was borderline retarded. The dog, of course, died there, cold and alone in the water. If the girl had went in the water after them...yeah... but she didnt.
That guy is my brother in law and best friend.
That dog was my dog and my best friend.
Here is where this ties into quitting and such. My brother in law made a crazy full recovery. Two weeks later we had a beer together with no after affects from the incident. You know what we also had? We had our tins and faces full of dip. Think about this, not just you B-LO but everybody else who may read this.
THIS IS AS CLOSE TO DYING AS IT GETS. THIS WAS, AND STILL IS AT THE EDGE OF MEDICAL PROCEDURES. WE CELEBRATED SURVIVAL BY SLOWLY KILLING OURSELVES. HOW FUCKED UP IS THAT.
STAY QUIT.
-Grizzfall
It was good shit; I made a comment about in the thread that it was referenced to.
Keep on knocking out those +1's Grizz; proud to be quit with you!
-
(Just putting this here so i can reference it later. Move along)
You might remember a news story here in Buffalo about 6-7 years back.
A twenty-odd year old guy was riding his horse with his then girlfriend - a nurse. They had a dog with them. They were up above a horse farm maybe a 1/4 mile off the road. Up at the crest of the lane way was a small pond that was used to pump water for the horse barn below. That pump hadn't been used in years but nobody ever bothered to turn the circuit off in the breaker box. I, and everybody else who rode in the area went by the pond and stopped to let the horses drink and the dogs swim. Well, finally that pump shorted out.
On that hot August day into the pond went the dog and he immediately seized/convulsed. The fellow on the horse, not understanding what had happened to the dog, went in the water to pull the dog out and suffered the same paralyzing fate. The girlfriend/nurse finally got the idea and ran her horse back the house for help. What followed is a testament to science and medicine.
The guy was helicoptered to the hospital and had his core temp reduced to 92 degrees. His heart was stopped for over 20 minutes. Remember here, he was being electrocuted for the entire time his body was in the water. So the ER staff cooled him with ice as fast as possible to prevent brain damage. They restarted his heart as the helicopter landed. He was in a coma for 2-3 days. When he came out of the coma he was borderline retarded. The dog, of course, died there, cold and alone in the water. If the girl had went in the water after them...yeah... but she didnt.
That guy is my brother in law and best friend.
That dog was my dog and my best friend.
Here is where this ties into quitting and such. My brother in law made a crazy full recovery. Two weeks later we had a beer together with no after affects from the incident. You know what we also had? We had our tins and faces full of dip. Think about this, not just you B-LO but everybody else who may read this.
THIS IS AS CLOSE TO DYING AS IT GETS. THIS WAS, AND STILL IS AT THE EDGE OF MEDICAL PROCEDURES. WE CELEBRATED SURVIVAL BY SLOWLY KILLING OURSELVES. HOW FUCKED UP IS THAT.
STAY QUIT.
-Grizzfall
It was good shit; I made a comment about in the thread that it was referenced to.
Keep on knocking out those +1's Grizz; proud to be quit with you!
Good stuff in here. Thanks Grizzfall.
-
Captains Quit Log Day 76,
I figured it was time to jot this down for my future self or another quitter.
I have been having some serious anxiety attacks these last few days. They are as intense as the first few weeks. Chest is tight, cold sweats, mind racing, and they always happen first thing in the morning, before i get out of bed. Never before in my life have I had this feeling, so it has to be quit related right?
Others have put up some awesome info on this topic as it pertains to the initial quit. My fear now is that this panic attack bullshit is going to become a staple of my life. I do feel better writing it down though. Arghhhh...fuck you nicotine.
-Grizzfall
-
Captains Quit Log Day 76,
I figured it was time to jot this down for my future self or another quitter.
I have been having some serious anxiety attacks these last few days. They are as intense as the first few weeks. Chest is tight, cold sweats, mind racing, and they always happen first thing in the morning, before i get out of bed. Never before in my life have I had this feeling, so it has to be quit related right?
Others have put up some awesome info on this topic as it pertains to the initial quit. My fear now is that this panic attack bullshit is going to become a staple of my life. I do feel better writing it down though. Arghhhh...fuck you nicotine.
-Grizzfall
Grizz dude,
You're 29 and quit. Celebrate.
You stopped for 40 days before. Learn.
You're having a panic attack in the a.m...You won't die, I promise.
You're an addict of nicotine. Did you know it is a poison?
Place one leaf in a fish bowl and watch the fish die.
Re-wire Grizz. Lift weights, run around the yard, climb a tree, if you ain't moving you ain't living.
Don't drink and quit. Just quit it all. You'll love yourself more and become the person you're suppose to be.
If I can do this, YOU can too!
-
Captains Quit Log Day 76,
  I figured it was time to jot this down for my future self or another quitter.
  I have been having some serious anxiety attacks these last few days. They are as intense as the first few weeks. Chest is tight, cold sweats, mind racing, and they always happen first thing in the morning, before i get out of bed. Never before in my life have I had this feeling, so it has to be quit related right?
  Others have put up some awesome info on this topic as it pertains to the initial quit. My fear now is that this panic attack bullshit is going to become a staple of my life. I do feel better writing it down though. Arghhhh...fuck you nicotine.
-Grizzfall
Grizz dude,
You're 29 and quit. Celebrate.
You stopped for 40 days before. Learn.
You're having a panic attack in the a.m...You won't die, I promise.
You're an addict of nicotine. Did you know it is a poison?
Place one leaf in a fish bowl and watch the fish die.
Re-wire Grizz. Lift weights, run around the yard, climb a tree, if you ain't moving you ain't living.
Don't drink and quit. Just quit it all. You'll love yourself more and become the person you're suppose to be.
If I can do this, YOU can too!
Looks like you are experiencing the FUNK. It happens to all of us. This too will pass. Continue to post roll and keep your word. The Funks will occur through out your quit. The good news is they will get less frequent and less severe as time marches on. Until then, do as 30enuff said. Exercise, keep your mind occupied and continue the behaviors that have got you this far. I promise that the funk will pass and your quit will be greater than ever before!
Mike
-
Captains Quit Log Day 76,
  I figured it was time to jot this down for my future self or another quitter.
  I have been having some serious anxiety attacks these last few days. They are as intense as the first few weeks. Chest is tight, cold sweats, mind racing, and they always happen first thing in the morning, before i get out of bed. Never before in my life have I had this feeling, so it has to be quit related right?
  Others have put up some awesome info on this topic as it pertains to the initial quit. My fear now is that this panic attack bullshit is going to become a staple of my life. I do feel better writing it down though. Arghhhh...fuck you nicotine.
-Grizzfall
Grizz dude,
You're 29 and quit. Celebrate.
You stopped for 40 days before. Learn.
You're having a panic attack in the a.m...You won't die, I promise.
You're an addict of nicotine. Did you know it is a poison?
Place one leaf in a fish bowl and watch the fish die.
Re-wire Grizz. Lift weights, run around the yard, climb a tree, if you ain't moving you ain't living.
Don't drink and quit. Just quit it all. You'll love yourself more and become the person you're suppose to be.
If I can do this, YOU can too!
Grizz I think it's quit related too, and burning it off with some exercise sounds like a great idea. I like a good rage filled session on the heavy bag myself, but walking works too. If the anxiety attacks persist, then you should talk to your MD.
-
Captains Quit Log Day 76,
   I figured it was time to jot this down for my future self or another quitter.
   I have been having some serious anxiety attacks these last few days. They are as intense as the first few weeks. Chest is tight, cold sweats, mind racing, and they always happen first thing in the morning, before i get out of bed. Never before in my life have I had this feeling, so it has to be quit related right?
   Others have put up some awesome info on this topic as it pertains to the initial quit. My fear now is that this panic attack bullshit is going to become a staple of my life. I do feel better writing it down though. Arghhhh...fuck you nicotine.
-Grizzfall
Grizz dude,
You're 29 and quit. Celebrate.
You stopped for 40 days before. Learn.
You're having a panic attack in the a.m...You won't die, I promise.
You're an addict of nicotine. Did you know it is a poison?
Place one leaf in a fish bowl and watch the fish die.
Re-wire Grizz. Lift weights, run around the yard, climb a tree, if you ain't moving you ain't living.
Don't drink and quit. Just quit it all. You'll love yourself more and become the person you're suppose to be.
If I can do this, YOU can too!
Grizz I think it's quit related too, and burning it off with some exercise sounds like a great idea. I like a good rage filled session on the heavy bag myself, but walking works too. If the anxiety attacks persist, then you should talk to your MD.
Sound advice here. Nothing to add other than, be strong Neil and be patient. Time will heal these wounds. Personally I think it takes at least one trip around the sun, maybe more? Quit on.
-
Dear Contentment,
Day 90. The holidays have made their pass and with it all those family parties and nicotine ingesting relatives. I have had a few days now where i feel a true and deep contentment...not happiness persay...but a deep sense of satisfaction. 14 days ago i went throuh more anxiety than i have ever felt before. Looking back it was a culmination of quitting, holidays, the job, and life in general. These few days off have been exactly what i need...and... I took a few good brothers advice and moved my carcasss till my lungs burned fire. Guess what? It felt good and was an awesome outlet for stress. Thanks KTC for the wisdom. I owe my new year of freedom to this place.
-grizzfall
-
Dear Contentment,
Day 90. The holidays have made their pass and with it all those family parties and nicotine ingesting relatives. I have had a few days now where i feel a true and deep contentment...not happiness persay...but a deep sense of satisfaction. 14 days ago i went throuh more anxiety than i have ever felt before. Looking back it was a culmination of quitting, holidays, the job, and life in general. These few days off have been exactly what i need...and... I took a few good brothers advice and moved my carcasss till my lungs burned fire. Guess what? It felt good and was an awesome outlet for stress. Thanks KTC for the wisdom. I owe my new year of freedom to this place.
-grizzfall
That's the "happy place" right there bro. Good stuff m'man. Freedom is pretty damn cool
-
Dear Contentment,
Day 90. The holidays have made their pass and with it all those family parties and nicotine ingesting relatives. I have had a few days now where i feel a true and deep contentment...not happiness persay...but a deep sense of satisfaction. 14 days ago i went throuh more anxiety than i have ever felt before. Looking back it was a culmination of quitting, holidays, the job, and life in general. These few days off have been exactly what i need...and... I took a few good brothers advice and moved my carcasss till my lungs burned fire. Guess what? It felt good and was an awesome outlet for stress. Thanks KTC for the wisdom. I owe my new year of freedom to this place.
-grizzfall
That's the "happy place" right there bro. Good stuff m'man. Freedom is pretty damn cool
This is what it's all about Grizz. Almost to HOF and you've done it by staying quit ODAAT. Keep going and you'll be one of the grisly old veterans on here in no time. Quit with you today brother.
JZ
-
Dear Contentment,
Day 90. The holidays have made their pass and with it all those family parties and nicotine ingesting relatives. I have had a few days now where i feel a true and deep contentment...not happiness persay...but a deep sense of satisfaction. 14 days ago i went throuh more anxiety than i have ever felt before. Looking back it was a culmination of quitting, holidays, the job, and life in general. These few days off have been exactly what i need...and... I took a few good brothers advice and moved my carcasss till my lungs burned fire. Guess what? It felt good and was an awesome outlet for stress. Thanks KTC for the wisdom. I owe my new year of freedom to this place.
-grizzfall
That's the "happy place" right there bro. Good stuff m'man. Freedom is pretty damn cool
This is what it's all about Grizz. Almost to HOF and you've done it by staying quit ODAAT. Keep going and you'll be one of the grisly old veterans on here in no time. Quit with you today brother.
JZ
'oh yeah'
-
Ride the roller-coaster brother! Fight like hell on the up-hills, enjoy the ride on the down-hills, and hold on tight when you hit the cork-screws. Keep doing what you are doing Grizzfall, and you will keep winning.
-
Day 92,
I woke up this morning and am feeeling pretty good here. Sunshine, cold, sparrkling snow. I was doing that 1 minute mental review of yesterdays actions and todays plans and somewhere in the middle i remember buying a tin and dipping. RED FLAG.
Still a little sleepy, it took another second or two to realize i had my first dip dream. There are many reports of them here, but i always thought they were mythical.
It went like this: i purchased a tin sometime earlier in the day and had one pinch. Then i was back at the store and buying groceries of some sort and grabbed two more tins, copenhagen oddly. As the cashier checked me out i set the two tins aside and, " i dont need these," thinking i would just finish the first tin and be quit again. And then it was over.
Im still trying to analyze this in a freudian manner. I didnt feel racked with guilt like some other brothers describe. It just happened. Freaking weird. Our brains are interesting machines for sure.
-Grizzfall
-
Day 92,
 I woke up this morning and am feeeling pretty good here. Sunshine, cold, sparrkling snow. I was doing that 1 minute mental review of yesterdays actions and todays plans and somewhere in the middle i remember buying a tin and dipping. RED FLAG.
 Still a little sleepy, it took another second or two to realize i had my first dip dream. There are many reports of them here, but i always thought they were mythical.
 It went like this: i purchased a tin sometime earlier in the day and had one pinch. Then i was back at the store and buying groceries of some sort and grabbed two more tins, copenhagen oddly. As the cashier checked me out i set the two tins aside and, " i dont need these," thinking i would just finish the first tin and be quit again. And then it was over.
 Im still trying to analyze this in a freudian manner. I didnt feel racked with guilt like some other brothers describe. It just happened. Freaking weird. Our brains are interesting machines for sure.
-Grizzfall
Those dreams are something else. All part of the journey. It is amazing how deep into your core this addiction gets - but each of these experiences, harnessed correctly, will strengthen your resolve. And, grizz, you've been a master at harnessing to date. Enjoy the ride. Hall of fame just ahead....
-
Day 92,
 I woke up this morning and am feeeling pretty good here. Sunshine, cold, sparrkling snow. I was doing that 1 minute mental review of yesterdays actions and todays plans and somewhere in the middle i remember buying a tin and dipping. RED FLAG.
  Still a little sleepy, it took another second or two to realize i had my first dip dream. There are many reports of them here, but i always thought they were mythical.
 It went like this: i purchased a tin sometime earlier in the day and had one pinch. Then i was back at the store and buying groceries of some sort and grabbed two more tins, copenhagen oddly. As the cashier checked me out i set the two tins aside and, " i dont need these," thinking i would just finish the first tin and be quit again. And then it was over.
 Im still trying to analyze this in a freudian manner. I didnt feel racked with guilt like some other brothers describe. It just happened. Freaking weird. Our brains are interesting machines for sure.
-Grizzfall
Those dreams are something else. All part of the journey. It is amazing how deep into your core this addiction gets - but each of these experiences, harnessed correctly, will strengthen your resolve. And, grizz, you've been a master at harnessing to date. Enjoy the ride. Hall of fame just ahead....
Thanks for sharing man. Weird shit isn't it? I have only had a few dip dreams and like yours, they came quite a ways into the quit. I was freaked out at how incredibly real they felt.
As W2W said, it is all part of the game. As your quit continues to solidify, I think the nic bitch, (addict nature, call it what you will), begins to realize that she has lost you. If you keep doing what your doing, a dream is as close as she can ever get. Use the tools, and keep them sharp. Even after HOF you have to guard your quit with your life. She lurks.
Onward.
-
Day 92,
 I woke up this morning and am feeeling pretty good here. Sunshine, cold, sparrkling snow. I was doing that 1 minute mental review of yesterdays actions and todays plans and somewhere in the middle i remember buying a tin and dipping. RED FLAG.
  Still a little sleepy, it took another second or two to realize i had my first dip dream. There are many reports of them here, but i always thought they were mythical.
 It went like this: i purchased a tin sometime earlier in the day and had one pinch. Then i was back at the store and buying groceries of some sort and grabbed two more tins, copenhagen oddly. As the cashier checked me out i set the two tins aside and, " i dont need these," thinking i would just finish the first tin and be quit again. And then it was over.
 Im still trying to analyze this in a freudian manner. I didnt feel racked with guilt like some other brothers describe. It just happened. Freaking weird. Our brains are interesting machines for sure.
-Grizzfall
Those dreams are something else. All part of the journey. It is amazing how deep into your core this addiction gets - but each of these experiences, harnessed correctly, will strengthen your resolve. And, grizz, you've been a master at harnessing to date. Enjoy the ride. Hall of fame just ahead....
Thanks for sharing man. Weird shit isn't it? I have only had a few dip dreams and like yours, they came quite a ways into the quit. I was freaked out at how incredibly real they felt.
As W2W said, it is all part of the game. As your quit continues to solidify, I think the nic bitch, (addict nature, call it what you will), begins to realize that she has lost you. If you keep doing what your doing, a dream is as close as she can ever get. Use the tools, and keep them sharp. Even after HOF you have to guard your quit with your life. She lurks.
Onward.
Nice job on 92 days bro! I had my first dip nightmare on day 89... I proceeded to have one each night for the next 40 or so days. They strengthened my resolve.
No worries here and they are natural .... It is a reminder you are quit and you are winning. Wake up, shake off the cobwebs and get to the computer to post roll. Then own the day.
-
Day 92,
 I woke up this morning and am feeeling pretty good here. Sunshine, cold, sparrkling snow. I was doing that 1 minute mental review of yesterdays actions and todays plans and somewhere in the middle i remember buying a tin and dipping. RED FLAG.
  Still a little sleepy, it took another second or two to realize i had my first dip dream. There are many reports of them here, but i always thought they were mythical.
 It went like this: i purchased a tin sometime earlier in the day and had one pinch. Then i was back at the store and buying groceries of some sort and grabbed two more tins, copenhagen oddly. As the cashier checked me out i set the two tins aside and, " i dont need these," thinking i would just finish the first tin and be quit again. And then it was over.
 Im still trying to analyze this in a freudian manner. I didnt feel racked with guilt like some other brothers describe. It just happened. Freaking weird. Our brains are interesting machines for sure.
-Grizzfall
Those dreams are something else. All part of the journey. It is amazing how deep into your core this addiction gets - but each of these experiences, harnessed correctly, will strengthen your resolve. And, grizz, you've been a master at harnessing to date. Enjoy the ride. Hall of fame just ahead....
Thanks for sharing man. Weird shit isn't it? I have only had a few dip dreams and like yours, they came quite a ways into the quit. I was freaked out at how incredibly real they felt.
As W2W said, it is all part of the game. As your quit continues to solidify, I think the nic bitch, (addict nature, call it what you will), begins to realize that she has lost you. If you keep doing what your doing, a dream is as close as she can ever get. Use the tools, and keep them sharp. Even after HOF you have to guard your quit with your life. She lurks.
Onward.
Nice job on 92 days bro! I had my first dip nightmare on day 89... I proceeded to have one each night for the next 40 or so days. They strengthened my resolve.
No worries here and they are natural .... It is a reminder you are quit and you are winning. Wake up, shake off the cobwebs and get to the computer to post roll. Then own the day.
Only thing strange is not feeling guilt. No need to feel guilty after the dream but during the dream?
-
Day 92,
 I woke up this morning and am feeeling pretty good here. Sunshine, cold, sparrkling snow. I was doing that 1 minute mental review of yesterdays actions and todays plans and somewhere in the middle i remember buying a tin and dipping. RED FLAG.
  Still a little sleepy, it took another second or two to realize i had my first dip dream. There are many reports of them here, but i always thought they were mythical.
 It went like this: i purchased a tin sometime earlier in the day and had one pinch. Then i was back at the store and buying groceries of some sort and grabbed two more tins, copenhagen oddly. As the cashier checked me out i set the two tins aside and, " i dont need these," thinking i would just finish the first tin and be quit again. And then it was over.
 Im still trying to analyze this in a freudian manner. I didnt feel racked with guilt like some other brothers describe. It just happened. Freaking weird. Our brains are interesting machines for sure.
-Grizzfall
Those dreams are something else. All part of the journey. It is amazing how deep into your core this addiction gets - but each of these experiences, harnessed correctly, will strengthen your resolve. And, grizz, you've been a master at harnessing to date. Enjoy the ride. Hall of fame just ahead....
Thanks for sharing man. Weird shit isn't it? I have only had a few dip dreams and like yours, they came quite a ways into the quit. I was freaked out at how incredibly real they felt.
As W2W said, it is all part of the game. As your quit continues to solidify, I think the nic bitch, (addict nature, call it what you will), begins to realize that she has lost you. If you keep doing what your doing, a dream is as close as she can ever get. Use the tools, and keep them sharp. Even after HOF you have to guard your quit with your life. She lurks.
Onward.
Nice job on 92 days bro! I had my first dip nightmare on day 89... I proceeded to have one each night for the next 40 or so days. They strengthened my resolve.
No worries here and they are natural .... It is a reminder you are quit and you are winning. Wake up, shake off the cobwebs and get to the computer to post roll. Then own the day.
Only thing strange is not feeling guilt. No need to feel guilty after the dream but during the dream?
Yeah, no guilt during the dream. It was that old addict mentality of, "I can just have one as a reward. It will be my little secret."
I will retrain my addict brain. That's my poetry for the day.
-
Day 92,
 I woke up this morning and am feeeling pretty good here. Sunshine, cold, sparrkling snow. I was doing that 1 minute mental review of yesterdays actions and todays plans and somewhere in the middle i remember buying a tin and dipping. RED FLAG.
  Still a little sleepy, it took another second or two to realize i had my first dip dream. There are many reports of them here, but i always thought they were mythical.
 It went like this: i purchased a tin sometime earlier in the day and had one pinch. Then i was back at the store and buying groceries of some sort and grabbed two more tins, copenhagen oddly. As the cashier checked me out i set the two tins aside and, " i dont need these," thinking i would just finish the first tin and be quit again. And then it was over.
 Im still trying to analyze this in a freudian manner. I didnt feel racked with guilt like some other brothers describe. It just happened. Freaking weird. Our brains are interesting machines for sure.
-Grizzfall
Those dreams are something else. All part of the journey. It is amazing how deep into your core this addiction gets - but each of these experiences, harnessed correctly, will strengthen your resolve. And, grizz, you've been a master at harnessing to date. Enjoy the ride. Hall of fame just ahead....
Thanks for sharing man. Weird shit isn't it? I have only had a few dip dreams and like yours, they came quite a ways into the quit. I was freaked out at how incredibly real they felt.
As W2W said, it is all part of the game. As your quit continues to solidify, I think the nic bitch, (addict nature, call it what you will), begins to realize that she has lost you. If you keep doing what your doing, a dream is as close as she can ever get. Use the tools, and keep them sharp. Even after HOF you have to guard your quit with your life. She lurks.
Onward.
Nice job on 92 days bro! I had my first dip nightmare on day 89... I proceeded to have one each night for the next 40 or so days. They strengthened my resolve.
No worries here and they are natural .... It is a reminder you are quit and you are winning. Wake up, shake off the cobwebs and get to the computer to post roll. Then own the day.
Only thing strange is not feeling guilt. No need to feel guilty after the dream but during the dream?
Yeah, no guilt during the dream. It was that old addict mentality of, "I can just have one as a reward. It will be my little secret."
I will retrain my addict brain. That's my poetry for the day.
Quit on man. I had a dip dream last night just from thinking about yours! As awesome as being quit 100 or 200 days is it is just a drop in the bucket compared to how long we were using...
-
Day 92,
 I woke up this morning and am feeeling pretty good here. Sunshine, cold, sparrkling snow. I was doing that 1 minute mental review of yesterdays actions and todays plans and somewhere in the middle i remember buying a tin and dipping. RED FLAG.
  Still a little sleepy, it took another second or two to realize i had my first dip dream. There are many reports of them here, but i always thought they were mythical.
 It went like this: i purchased a tin sometime earlier in the day and had one pinch. Then i was back at the store and buying groceries of some sort and grabbed two more tins, copenhagen oddly. As the cashier checked me out i set the two tins aside and, " i dont need these," thinking i would just finish the first tin and be quit again. And then it was over.
 Im still trying to analyze this in a freudian manner. I didnt feel racked with guilt like some other brothers describe. It just happened. Freaking weird. Our brains are interesting machines for sure.
-Grizzfall
Those dreams are something else. All part of the journey. It is amazing how deep into your core this addiction gets - but each of these experiences, harnessed correctly, will strengthen your resolve. And, grizz, you've been a master at harnessing to date. Enjoy the ride. Hall of fame just ahead....
Thanks for sharing man. Weird shit isn't it? I have only had a few dip dreams and like yours, they came quite a ways into the quit. I was freaked out at how incredibly real they felt.
As W2W said, it is all part of the game. As your quit continues to solidify, I think the nic bitch, (addict nature, call it what you will), begins to realize that she has lost you. If you keep doing what your doing, a dream is as close as she can ever get. Use the tools, and keep them sharp. Even after HOF you have to guard your quit with your life. She lurks.
Onward.
Nice job on 92 days bro! I had my first dip nightmare on day 89... I proceeded to have one each night for the next 40 or so days. They strengthened my resolve.
No worries here and they are natural .... It is a reminder you are quit and you are winning. Wake up, shake off the cobwebs and get to the computer to post roll. Then own the day.
Only thing strange is not feeling guilt. No need to feel guilty after the dream but during the dream?
Yeah, no guilt during the dream. It was that old addict mentality of, "I can just have one as a reward. It will be my little secret."
I will retrain my addict brain. That's my poetry for the day.
Quit on man. I had a dip dream last night just from thinking about yours! As awesome as being quit 100 or 200 days is it is just a drop in the bucket compared to how long we were using...
Perspective is rough. The first 10 days CRAWL by. The first 100 ooze like molasses. But damn those 14+ years of face rot, chew it up living, cruised on bye. Thanks B-lo. Thanks for the perspective.
Stay warm you bastards,
- Grizzfall
-
Congratulations Grizzfall. 100 days is a great accomplishment. I remember when it was just a dream and didnt even seem possible. Nice work. Keep it up.
Ryan
-
Congratulations Grizzfall. 100 days is a great accomplishment. I remember when it was just a dream and didnt even seem possible. Nice work. Keep it up.
Ryan
Freedom sure is sweet. Stay vigilant - as good as today feels, even brighter days are ahead. Congratulations!!!
-
Congratulations Grizzfall. 100 days is a great accomplishment. I remember when it was just a dream and didnt even seem possible. Nice work. Keep it up.
Ryan
Freedom sure is sweet. Stay vigilant - as good as today feels, even brighter days are ahead. Congratulations!!!
Well done Grizz! You sir are a bad ass!
-
Congratulations Grizzfall. 100 days is a great accomplishment. I remember when it was just a dream and didnt even seem possible. Nice work. Keep it up.
Ryan
Freedom sure is sweet. Stay vigilant - as good as today feels, even brighter days are ahead. Congratulations!!!
Well done Grizz! You sir are a bad ass!
Congrats on HOF! Stay vigilant, but the tough part is done. Proud to be quit with you today!
-
Congratulations Grizzfall. 100 days is a great accomplishment. I remember when it was just a dream and didnt even seem possible. Nice work. Keep it up.
Ryan
Freedom sure is sweet. Stay vigilant - as good as today feels, even brighter days are ahead. Congratulations!!!
Well done Grizz! You sir are a bad ass!
Congrats on HOF! Stay vigilant, but the tough part is done. Proud to be quit with you today!
'clap'
-
I want to bring this bad ass quitter and my quit brother's introduction back to the top and say congratulations on becoming a new father. May you forever guard your quit and have a life-time full of memories not filled with nicotine!
-
I want to bring this bad ass quitter and my quit brother's introduction back to the top and say congratulations on becoming a new father. May you forever guard your quit and have a life-time full of memories not filled with nicotine!
That's awesome! Stay quit for that new child!
-
I want to bring this bad ass quitter and my quit brother's introduction back to the top and say congratulations on becoming a new father. May you forever guard your quit and have a life-time full of memories not filled with nicotine!
That's awesome! Stay quit for that new child!
Congrats, man. That's awesome!!!