KillTheCan.org Accountability Forum
Community => Introductions => Topic started by: PMac on December 18, 2011, 10:26:00 PM
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So here I am. Officially Day 1 is tomorrow (Monday, December 19). For the past several months I have been seriously struggling with how to quit. Cold turkey or gradual? Patches until I can break the hand to mouth fixation? Substitute product to ease into it? A few weeks ago I found this site when searching Google for the best way to quit dipping. For about the last two or three weeks I have been coming to this site more and more regularly to read stories about quitting, words of wisdom, advice, avoiding pitfalls, etc. I registered a few days ago. I even started a quit a few days ago and failed after less than 24 hours. Well, tomorrow is Q-Day.
A bit about myself. I'm 41, happily married (other than when I get caught dipping), and have three boys aged 9, 6, and 4. I started becoming an addict when I was about 15 or 16 years old. Red Man or something similar that a buddy swiped from his dad before we went camping out in the woods. I dipped pretty regularly and chewed less frequently through high school. When I got to college I dipped, chewed, and smoked. When I went to law school I smoked and dipped. When I got out of law school, being the brilliant new attorney that I was, I stopped smoking being that it was "much worse" than dipping.
I've stopped before but never quit. Sure, I could quit for a week or so to pass an insurance physical or something similar, or to show my wife that I wasn't an addict, or because I was somewhere that I didn't have access (note that in the last several years I always traveled with my Skoal so that I didn't run into that problem again). But those short stoppages were few and far between and I can't honestly remember if I have even had one of those in the last five or six years.
Five years ago, within a week or two of today's date, we found out that we were having a third child. My wife hates dipping. She hates it like nothing else. She loves me, of that I am sure, but she hates dip. I promised her then that I would quit dipping because one night, in tears, she begged me to please quit. Five years later, I am hoping that I can make that promise a reality. I know now that at that point I wasn't ready to quit. I wanted to for her, but I didn't want to for me and I didn't want to badly enough to do what I knew that it would take.
For pretty much all of my dipping career, I've been a douche (to borrow a phrase from a post I saw here at KTC). I never knew how to put it so succinctly, but a douche I have been. Everyone in my family, from my wife and kids to my parents to my sister's family to my in-laws knew I did it - of that I am sure - but it was always done on the down low and never out in the open. Lying about it, sneaking around so that I could do it, the ten minute dip just for the taste while feigning an extended bathroom break because of something I ate, etc. I've done most of it. Going around the block an extra couple of times. Taking the long way home. Staying up a few minutes later than my wife to "finish something" so that I could hopefully steal a few minutes with the Nic Mistress. Closing the door to my office at work to "take a call" so that I could dip in my office without the chance of any of my colleagues or employees seeing it. Delaying doing something with my kids for that few minutes of peace to take a pinch. As I have said, I've done lots of things to get the fix with the Mistress.
Looking back over the past few years in particular, I think that being a douche and allowing the Mistress to be in such control of my life is my biggest regret. I call her the Mistress because she has been my secret love for so long. At the same time, she has robbed me of time with my family, taken away from my relationships with others, and been that dirty little secret that I didn't want any of my colleagues, family members, or friends to know about.
I'm finally sick of it all enough that I want to end it. Aside from the extra vacation I am planning for my wife and I in 2012 paid for solely from funds NOT spent dipping a couple of cans a day, I want to be rid of the douche baggery and lies and cheats and sneaks. I want to be over the whole fucking thing of smelling it, seeing my fingers stained a little bit brown and a little residue in my finger nail and wondering if the client sitting across the table noticed, knowing that my wife is probably gagging and holding her breath to kiss me, hearing my youngest ask what the smell in the car is when I open a new tin, and on and on and on. A few years ago I reasoned that at this point it probably didn't matter much because after twenty or more years I was likely going to wind up with cancer anyway. Honestly, I still pretty much know that in all likelihood I will wind up with cancer because of the years of dipping - but I have finally come to that point where I can at least say that I beat the bitch and I want to be able to look at my sons honestly and tell them why they can't ever get started.
You might say that with the stress of the holidays, the stress of work at the end of the year (mine gets way worse the last few weeks of the year), and the stress of my in-laws coming on Tuesday for five days that this might not be the best time to start a quit. I've come to the realization that after years worth of excuses, lies to myself, and reasoning that there just won't ever be a perfect or even good time to quit if I am waiting for there to be no outside stresses on my life to compound the difficulty of quitting this nasty habit. The thought of a holiday without dipping is kind of an inspiration quite honestly.
Notwithstanding the bravado above, don't get me wrong. I can feel my heart racing a bit now. I flushed everything that I had and could find before I posted this. The thought of getting up in the morning and not having a pinch is pretty fucking frightening. Hell, the idea of going to bed tonight without knowing that there is that dip in the secret reserve hiding spot gives me cold sweats and makes me anxious as shit. As several people have mentioned in other posts, words of wisdom, etc., I have been thinking about triggers. Unfortunately damn near everything I can think of in my life is a trigger. Morning. Driving to work. About 10:00 AM. About 2:00 PM. Driving home. After kids go to sleep. Weekends watching football. Weekends having a few beers with friends. Hunting. Fishing. And on and on. Some of it I can figure out, some of it - like work - I can't avoid and will just have to fight through. In the end, I'll have to learn to love doing certain things without dipping (or I'll find out that I don't love doing certain things at all without dipping - which is fine too).
So if you have read this far down, you are probably saying to yourself "why am I wasting my time reading this when in the first three lines he said that he tried to quit a few days ago and failed". This is going to sound really hokey. In early 2009 I got the bug to try P90X. It wasn't new at that point, but it also wasn't nearly as big as it is now. I've never been someone that exercises diligently. I would do it for two, three, or four (maybe six on a good stretch) weeks and then stop. So the thought of me doing P90X, to people like my family and friends, was almost laughable. I don't know why, but I was determined. I was determined that not only was I going to finish, but that I was going to finish without missing a workout, without bailing on a workout part of the way through, and without half-assing a workout. It is supposed to be 13 weeks. About five days into it, my wife decided that she wanted to do it with me. So I started over after going a full first week (and in the end then I would be doing fourteen weeks). I was four or five weeks into it and notwithstanding considerable pain and suffering, I was loving it. About a week or two later though I was hitting some serious tough patches. I hurt. I really hurt. I was hungry as hell (I was doing the nutrition plan as well). I continued to drag my ass out of bed every morning at 5:00 AM to do it, but I could see that if I kept going on the same path I was going to wind up quitting. I went to the online forum and starting chatting with people. Coincidentally, I found a group of people that posted roll everyday that they had not only done the workout but that they hadn't dogged it. That inspired me. That kept me going. That is what got me through that middle four or five week period when I could have just as easily quit. By the end of my first round of P90X, and then on into my second, I went to that board and I helped other people. I coached them, I gave encouragement and I told them that they TOO could do it just like I had. I told them how when I was in their position and thought that I couldn't go on that I did and that I continued coming to the boards every day. I tell that stupid little story not to impress everyone, but to say that between my "quit" of a few days ago and tonight I thought about my first foray into P90X for the first time in a long time (and for all the quitters, I am by no means comparing finishing 90 days of working out with quitting something so addictive for the rest of your life - keep reading). Some people are wired differently I guess, but I needed that group of people that I went to every day and said "I did it today and I didn't cheat". Sure, some of them probably cheated and lied about it. But I know that without question I never cheated or lied. I had bad days and I said so. But I never didn't give it 100% and I never lied about what I had done. Point is that I realize that probably I need this site and the roll posting more than most people because I need that accountability to others to succeed.
I've had one hell of a love/hate relationship with the Mistress. The love end of it was over a long time ago. The hate part has finally gotten to the point that I can't tolerate any relationship whatsoever. I certainly love my wife more today than I did fifteen years ago, ten years ago, five years ago, or one year ago. Maybe I love myself more than I did just five years ago. Who knows? I just know that I want whatever I had with the bitch to end. Anxiousness and worry aside, I still know that I want to be quit.
So tomorrow I will go and find the group that has a March end date and I'll post roll for Day 1. My immediate goal is be able to post roll on Tuesday for Day 2 and my immediate goal for every day thereafter will be to post roll for the next day. My medium term goal is to be able to surprise my wife on Christmas Day and tell her that I'm quit for 7 days (and maybe let her read this post - haven't thought that through yet). My long term goal is to be able to tell my wife on New Year's Eve that my NY resolution is to STAY quit for 2012. I know that 100 days is the goal on this site, and perhaps I'm selling myself short thinking about my long term goal being only less than two weeks from now, but after about twenty-five years of the Mistress twelve days seems like a long damn time and a monumental success for me. When I get through New Year's, I'll reassess and come up with new goals. Super Bowl Sunday, annual ski trip out west in February, etc.
To those that started the site, I thank you for helping me to get this far. To those that are quitters, I hope to be like you soon. To those that are just recently quit, I hope that we can get there together. And for those that are reading this and considering a quit, I hope that something I have said strikes a chord with you and that you too make a determined effort to quit forever.
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So here I am. Officially Day 1 is tomorrow (Monday, December 19). For the past several months I have been seriously struggling with how to quit. Cold turkey or gradual? Patches until I can break the hand to mouth fixation? Substitute product to ease into it? A few weeks ago I found this site when searching Google for the best way to quit dipping. For about the last two or three weeks I have been coming to this site more and more regularly to read stories about quitting, words of wisdom, advice, avoiding pitfalls, etc. I registered a few days ago. I even started a quit a few days ago and failed after less than 24 hours. Well, tomorrow is Q-Day.
A bit about myself. I'm 41, happily married (other than when I get caught dipping), and have three boys aged 9, 6, and 4. I started becoming an addict when I was about 15 or 16 years old. Red Man or something similar that a buddy swiped from his dad before we went camping out in the woods. I dipped pretty regularly and chewed less frequently through high school. When I got to college I dipped, chewed, and smoked. When I went to law school I smoked and dipped. When I got out of law school, being the brilliant new attorney that I was, I stopped smoking being that it was "much worse" than dipping.
I've stopped before but never quit. Sure, I could quit for a week or so to pass an insurance physical or something similar, or to show my wife that I wasn't an addict, or because I was somewhere that I didn't have access (note that in the last several years I always traveled with my Skoal so that I didn't run into that problem again). But those short stoppages were few and far between and I can't honestly remember if I have even had one of those in the last five or six years.Â
Five years ago, within a week or two of today's date, we found out that we were having a third child. My wife hates dipping. She hates it like nothing else. She loves me, of that I am sure, but she hates dip. I promised her then that I would quit dipping because one night, in tears, she begged me to please quit. Five years later, I am hoping that I can make that promise a reality. I know now that at that point I wasn't ready to quit. I wanted to for her, but I didn't want to for me and I didn't want to badly enough to do what I knew that it would take.Â
For pretty much all of my dipping career, I've been a douche (to borrow a phrase from a post I saw here at KTC). I never knew how to put it so succinctly, but a douche I have been. Everyone in my family, from my wife and kids to my parents to my sister's family to my in-laws knew I did it - of that I am sure - but it was always done on the down low and never out in the open. Lying about it, sneaking around so that I could do it, the ten minute dip just for the taste while feigning an extended bathroom break because of something I ate, etc. I've done most of it. Going around the block an extra couple of times. Taking the long way home. Staying up a few minutes later than my wife to "finish something" so that I could hopefully steal a few minutes with the Nic Mistress. Closing the door to my office at work to "take a call" so that I could dip in my office without the chance of any of my colleagues or employees seeing it. Delaying doing something with my kids for that few minutes of peace to take a pinch. As I have said, I've done lots of things to get the fix with the Mistress.Â
Looking back over the past few years in particular, I think that being a douche and allowing the Mistress to be in such control of my life is my biggest regret. I call her the Mistress because she has been my secret love for so long. At the same time, she has robbed me of time with my family, taken away from my relationships with others, and been that dirty little secret that I didn't want any of my colleagues, family members, or friends to know about.
I'm finally sick of it all enough that I want to end it. Aside from the extra vacation I am planning for my wife and I in 2012 paid for solely from funds NOT spent dipping a couple of cans a day, I want to be rid of the douche baggery and lies and cheats and sneaks. I want to be over the whole fucking thing of smelling it, seeing my fingers stained a little bit brown and a little residue in my finger nail and wondering if the client sitting across the table noticed, knowing that my wife is probably gagging and holding her breath to kiss me, hearing my youngest ask what the smell in the car is when I open a new tin, and on and on and on. A few years ago I reasoned that at this point it probably didn't matter much because after twenty or more years I was likely going to wind up with cancer anyway. Honestly, I still pretty much know that in all likelihood I will wind up with cancer because of the years of dipping - but I have finally come to that point where I can at least say that I beat the bitch and I want to be able to look at my sons honestly and tell them why they can't ever get started.
You might say that with the stress of the holidays, the stress of work at the end of the year (mine gets way worse the last few weeks of the year), and the stress of my in-laws coming on Tuesday for five days that this might not be the best time to start a quit. I've come to the realization that after years worth of excuses, lies to myself, and reasoning that there just won't ever be a perfect or even good time to quit if I am waiting for there to be no outside stresses on my life to compound the difficulty of quitting this nasty habit. The thought of a holiday without dipping is kind of an inspiration quite honestly.
Notwithstanding the bravado above, don't get me wrong. I can feel my heart racing a bit now. I flushed everything that I had and could find before I posted this. The thought of getting up in the morning and not having a pinch is pretty fucking frightening. Hell, the idea of going to bed tonight without knowing that there is that dip in the secret reserve hiding spot gives me cold sweats and makes me anxious as shit. As several people have mentioned in other posts, words of wisdom, etc., I have been thinking about triggers. Unfortunately damn near everything I can think of in my life is a trigger. Morning. Driving to work. About 10:00 AM. About 2:00 PM. Driving home. After kids go to sleep. Weekends watching football. Weekends having a few beers with friends. Hunting. Fishing. And on and on. Some of it I can figure out, some of it - like work - I can't avoid and will just have to fight through. In the end, I'll have to learn to love doing certain things without dipping (or I'll find out that I don't love doing certain things at all without dipping - which is fine too).Â
So if you have read this far down, you are probably saying to yourself "why am I wasting my time reading this when in the first three lines he said that he tried to quit a few days ago and failed". This is going to sound really hokey. In early 2009 I got the bug to try P90X. It wasn't new at that point, but it also wasn't nearly as big as it is now. I've never been someone that exercises diligently. I would do it for two, three, or four (maybe six on a good stretch) weeks and then stop. So the thought of me doing P90X, to people like my family and friends, was almost laughable. I don't know why, but I was determined. I was determined that not only was I going to finish, but that I was going to finish without missing a workout, without bailing on a workout part of the way through, and without half-assing a workout. It is supposed to be 13 weeks. About five days into it, my wife decided that she wanted to do it with me. So I started over after going a full first week (and in the end then I would be doing fourteen weeks). I was four or five weeks into it and notwithstanding considerable pain and suffering, I was loving it. About a week or two later though I was hitting some serious tough patches. I hurt. I really hurt. I was hungry as hell (I was doing the nutrition plan as well). I continued to drag my ass out of bed every morning at 5:00 AM to do it, but I could see that if I kept going on the same path I was going to wind up quitting. I went to the online forum and starting chatting with people. Coincidentally, I found a group of people that posted roll everyday that they had not only done the workout but that they hadn't dogged it. That inspired me. That kept me going. That is what got me through that middle four or five week period when I could have just as easily quit. By the end of my first round of P90X, and then on into my second, I went to that board and I helped other people. I coached them, I gave encouragement and I told them that they TOO could do it just like I had. I told them how when I was in their position and thought that I couldn't go on that I did and that I continued coming to the boards every day. I tell that stupid little story not to impress everyone, but to say that between my "quit" of a few days ago and tonight I thought about my first foray into P90X for the first time in a long time (and for all the quitters, I am by no means comparing finishing 90 days of working out with quitting something so addictive for the rest of your life - keep reading). Some people are wired differently I guess, but I needed that group of people that I went to every day and said "I did it today and I didn't cheat". Sure, some of them probably cheated and lied about it. But I know that without question I never cheated or lied. I had bad days and I said so. But I never didn't give it 100% and I never lied about what I had done. Point is that I realize that probably I need this site and the roll posting more than most people because I need that accountability to others to succeed.
I've had one hell of a love/hate relationship with the Mistress. The love end of it was over a long time ago. The hate part has finally gotten to the point that I can't tolerate any relationship whatsoever. I certainly love my wife more today than I did fifteen years ago, ten years ago, five years ago, or one year ago. Maybe I love myself more than I did just five years ago. Who knows? I just know that I want whatever I had with the bitch to end. Anxiousness and worry aside, I still know that I want to be quit.
So tomorrow I will go and find the group that has a March end date and I'll post roll for Day 1. My immediate goal is be able to post roll on Tuesday for Day 2 and my immediate goal for every day thereafter will be to post roll for the next day. My medium term goal is to be able to surprise my wife on Christmas Day and tell her that I'm quit for 7 days (and maybe let her read this post - haven't thought that through yet). My long term goal is to be able to tell my wife on New Year's Eve that my NY resolution is to STAY quit for 2012. I know that 100 days is the goal on this site, and perhaps I'm selling myself short thinking about my long term goal being only less than two weeks from now, but after about twenty-five years of the Mistress twelve days seems like a long damn time and a monumental success for me. When I get through New Year's, I'll reassess and come up with new goals. Super Bowl Sunday, annual ski trip out west in February, etc. Â
To those that started the site, I thank you for helping me to get this far. To those that are quitters, I hope to be like you soon. To those that are just recently quit, I hope that we can get there together. And for those that are reading this and considering a quit, I hope that something I have said strikes a chord with you and that you too make a determined effort to quit forever.
Outstanding!! Check your inbox and welcome to The March Maniacs of Quit!
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Wow. Now that is quite an introduction. Had a beer and couple of snacks before I got to the end.
Your story is like all of ours. Your addiction is no worse. You started young, kept going, occasional stop here and there for whatever reason, but never quite able to get free. Could not figure out why. Thought you loved it cause it did all these wonderful things for you.
The truth of it is you are an addict my friend. Same as any other addict, just your drug is nicotine instead of crack. Knowing and truely understanding that fact will help you obtain what you seek. FREEDOM ! What are you willing to do ?
Some early advice:
1. Dump every can you have around the house in the toilet and flush it.
2. Wash out every can so you cannot scrape an emergency dip together.
3. Take your trash to a dumpster so there is no dip anywhere
4. Let your wife, kids, neighbors, the mailman know you are quit
5. Go to the store and get some water, candy, gum, sunflower seeds. Settle in..
6. Start reading everything on this site
Next you need to work on your vocabulary. Take the words hope, try, wish, think,might, someday out of your vocabulary. Replace them with will, know, can, am, now. It seems like a small thing but it makes a huge difference. For example: Let't take a line out of your post.
Old You: To those that are quitters, I hope to be like you soon.
New you: To those that are quitters, I am like you now.
Post your promise, keep your word, you are quit.
Now stop trying and get to it.
Greg
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Wow. Now that is quite an introduction. Had a beer and couple of snacks before I got to the end.
Your story is like all of ours. Your addiction is no worse. You started young, kept going, occasional stop here and there for whatever reason, but never quite able to get free. Could not figure out why. Thought you loved it cause it did all these wonderful things for you.
The truth of it is you are an addict my friend. Same as any other addict, just your drug is nicotine instead of crack. Knowing and truely understanding that fact will help you obtain what you seek. FREEDOM ! What are you willing to do ?
Some early advice:
1. Dump every can you have around the house in the toilet and flush it.
2. Wash out every can so you cannot scrape an emergency dip together.
3. Take your trash to a dumpster so there is no dip anywhere
4. Let your wife, kids, neighbors, the mailman know you are quit
5. Go to the store and get some water, candy, gum, sunflower seeds. Settle in..
6. Start reading everything on this site
Next you need to work on your vocabulary. Take the words hope, try, wish, think,might, someday out of your vocabulary. Replace them with will, know, can, am, now. It seems like a small thing but it makes a huge difference. For example: Let't take a line out of your post.
Old You: To those that are quitters, I hope to be like you soon.
New you: To those that are quitters, I am like you now.
Post your promise, keep your word, you are quit.
Now stop trying and get to it.
Greg
What he said ^^^^^.
Shit or get off the pot. If there is no nicotine in your system, THIS is your "Day 1"
Now go post roll giving your word of honor that you will not use nicotine today in any way shape or form.
Keep your word.
I did the same thing 1,417 days ago.
You have no idea how great things will get.
You can do this.
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Our stories are very similar...even down to the lawyer part. The pissed off wife, the sneaking around, etc. With the grace of God I stumbled across this site and tomorrow morning I will be posting my 145th day of being quit.
Check out my HOF Speech (http://forum.killthecan.org/index.php?showtopic=5524) - you'll see we have much in common, even the lack of brevity part.
Shout if you need anything.
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If I can quit. You can quit. Don't ever leave this site. You hear that part? Do NOT leave this site. Aside from the lawyer part, your story is similar to mine and a lot of others. Secret Squirrel Ninja Dippers.... we're the worst. Just be here every day, and the same detremination that helped you quit being a lard-ass will help you quit walking around with shit in your lip.
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Our stories are very similar...even down to the lawyer part. The pissed off wife, the sneaking around, etc. With the grace of God I stumbled across this site and tomorrow morning I will be posting my 145th day of being quit.
Check out my HOF Speech (http://forum.killthecan.org/index.php?showtopic=5524) - you'll see we have much in common, even the lack of brevity part.
Shout if you need anything.
especially the lack of brevity. damn. :blink:
PMac,
welcome to the battle, and it truly is a battle. you seem like you have the basics, and Greg's already started pointing out some of your addict-speak. recognize that you're and addict. embrace it. that's the one thing that ain't going to change during this journey. you'll be an addict on christmas morning, on new years eve, on your next birthday, at 100 days and at 1000 days.
you know the drill already, which is nice. P90X is some tough as shit for someone not in shape, and i can see how posting roll would help. this is a life and death thing, though. where your p90x forum was an update, posting roll here is a promise. we post roll EVERYDAY. we post roll early as a promise not to use that day (not as an update at the end of the day). we guard our quit and honor our promise. our word is everything.
make this happen. you can do this by simply taking control of your life. impose your will.
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Thanks to everyone that took the time to respond. Was getting to be about the old "mid morning time" and I had to do something so I'm chewing on seeds like I'm dying of starvation and coming on here for a few minutes to keep my mind right.
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Thanks to everyone that took the time to respond. Was getting to be about the old "mid morning time" and I had to do something so I'm chewing on seeds like I'm dying of starvation and coming on here for a few minutes to keep my mind right.
Get your ass in the chat room. Works as good as sex.......... just gay sex.
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Thanks to everyone that took the time to respond. Was getting to be about the old "mid morning time" and I had to do something so I'm chewing on seeds like I'm dying of starvation and coming on here for a few minutes to keep my mind right.
After 3 sessions I got thru your intro.... Saw you posted roll today, great job. Welcome! Please PM me if there is anything I can do to help. And don't worry about brevity, if you want to write a fucking book on here and it helps with your quit, write a fucking book.
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Nice intro. I just want to correct one thing. . .
The goal here is not to quit for 100 days. What we do here is quite simple.
1) Post roll, making your promise to yourself and the rest of us that just for today, you are not going to use nicotine.
2) Keep your promise.
Worry about tomorrow when it gets here. The concept of quitting 'forever' or some other amount of time is a lot for an addict to wrap their brain around. But I guarantee if you do the previous two things, you will be quit.
Welcome PMac, I quit with you today.
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So today, I am at the store in the early morning after dropping kids off for school and I am purchasing seeds. 2 of the Frito-Lay packs for $1.00 (1 7/8ths oz per pack). I was buying 4 packs. No shit, as I was standing in the store calculating that I would spend probably $2 to $4 per day for the next few months in seeds, I was thinking "fuck is this quitting thing going to be expensive." Not until I got into my truck a few minutes later did I have head-hit-palm moment. I bet I had never until recently calculated the 2 to 3 cans per day per year. I damn sure hadn't thought about it while bitching about the state of the economy, how tight the purse strings were getting, etc.
So I enjoyed raising my right middle finger this morning to the Bitch and saying "fuck off you expensive whore". At the same time I felt like a dumb ass. Won't be the first damn time.
On a more serious note, the afternoon was hell at the office. Anxiety was tough to deal with. I had a hard time in the mid afternoon. Driving home was tough. Let me rephrase...driving home was awful. No shit my low fuel light comes on as I am pulling out of my office. Diesel isn't particularly plentiful around my town and the place I really needed to go was the place that I had bought dip from the past seven years about 5 days per week. So when I went in the guy already had two tins sitting out on the counter and asked if I wanted three. Telling him that I wanted none was a great, great feeling. Still it was a stressful few minutes. I'll be planning better for that. Day 1 is one thing. I'm sure that day 20, 25, 40, 60, etc. are worse. Good wake up call today.
Any other newbies out there - PM me and I'll PM you back my cell phone. We can do this shit. I am going to do this shit and I'll fucking drag your ass with me if need be.
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So today, I am at the store in the early morning after dropping kids off for school and I am purchasing seeds. 2 of the Frito-Lay packs for $1.00 (1 7/8ths oz per pack). I was buying 4 packs. No shit, as I was standing in the store calculating that I would spend probably $2 to $4 per day for the next few months in seeds, I was thinking "fuck is this quitting thing going to be expensive." Not until I got into my truck a few minutes later did I have head-hit-palm moment. I bet I had never until recently calculated the 2 to 3 cans per day per year. I damn sure hadn't thought about it while bitching about the state of the economy, how tight the purse strings were getting, etc.
So I enjoyed raising my right middle finger this morning to the Bitch and saying "fuck off you expensive whore". At the same time I felt like a dumb ass. Won't be the first damn time.
On a more serious note, the afternoon was hell at the office. Anxiety was tough to deal with. I had a hard time in the mid afternoon. Driving home was tough. Let me rephrase...driving home was awful. No shit my low fuel light comes on as I am pulling out of my office. Diesel isn't particularly plentiful around my town and the place I really needed to go was the place that I had bought dip from the past seven years about 5 days per week. So when I went in the guy already had two tins sitting out on the counter and asked if I wanted three. Telling him that I wanted none was a great, great feeling. Still it was a stressful few minutes. I'll be planning better for that. Day 1 is one thing. I'm sure that day 20, 25, 40, 60, etc. are worse. Good wake up call today.
Any other newbies out there - PM me and I'll PM you back my cell phone. We can do this shit. I am going to do this shit and I'll fucking drag your ass with me if need be.
Badass there bro! I love the attitude. I am only a week ahead of you but were going to rock this. I just pmed you my number. If you ever need anything, do not hesitate to call/text me.
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Very true...bump on the attitude. This is testament to the mind-fuck the Nic Bitch does to you. She'll make you rationalize anything...trading your money for her, your time for her, your kids for her. Don't know their ages, but I guarantee they NEED you more than she does. Don't trade them for a few more minutes with the Nic Bitch.
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P90X roll posting forum.....may have to look into that.
Keep your goals simple. Post roll, keep your word for 24 hours, repeat. The days will add up before you know it.
Welcome to the site Tolstoy.
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Tolstoy....now that's funny shit. Sorry if I'm too long winded. Just my nature I guess. I will however try to keep other dumb mother fuckers like myself that got hooked in the first place to walk with me.
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So today, I am at the store in the early morning after dropping kids off for school and I am purchasing seeds. 2 of the Frito-Lay packs for $1.00 (1 7/8ths oz per pack). I was buying 4 packs. No shit, as I was standing in the store calculating that I would spend probably $2 to $4 per day for the next few months in seeds, I was thinking "fuck is this quitting thing going to be expensive." Not until I got into my truck a few minutes later did I have head-hit-palm moment. I bet I had never until recently calculated the 2 to 3 cans per day per year. I damn sure hadn't thought about it while bitching about the state of the economy, how tight the purse strings were getting, etc.Â
So I enjoyed raising my right middle finger this morning to the Bitch and saying "fuck off you expensive whore". At the same time I felt like a dumb ass. Won't be the first damn time.
On a more serious note, the afternoon was hell at the office. Anxiety was tough to deal with. I had a hard time in the mid afternoon. Driving home was tough. Let me rephrase...driving home was awful. No shit my low fuel light comes on as I am pulling out of my office. Diesel isn't particularly plentiful around my town and the place I really needed to go was the place that I had bought dip from the past seven years about 5 days per week. So when I went in the guy already had two tins sitting out on the counter and asked if I wanted three. Telling him that I wanted none was a great, great feeling. Still it was a stressful few minutes. I'll be planning better for that. Day 1 is one thing. I'm sure that day 20, 25, 40, 60, etc. are worse. Good wake up call today.
Any other newbies out there - PM me and I'll PM you back my cell phone. We can do this shit. I am going to do this shit and I'll fucking drag your ass with me if need be.
PMac I encounter the store situation a few times a week when I still stop off to buy beer. Every time I walked in (prior to my quit) they would have two tins of Cope waiting for me. Every time I walk in now they continue to ask "you still quit". I fucking love answering back to them "Fucking right I am!" I actually look forward to them asking me. Quite frankly, I think they are jealous and I love sticking it in their face. I always tell them, they can quit too :) Stay strong and guard your dip my friend.
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This is a first...not drinking and not dipping. Unfortunately, no rest for the weary. Is this shit supposed to start this early? I'm going to go and count sheep and shit I guess. Fuck you whore. My name is Paul. You ain't got jack shit on me. It's day 2. I'll post roll in about 6 or 7 hours. See you addicts like me in the morning.
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This is a first...not drinking and not dipping. Unfortunately, no rest for the weary. Is this shit supposed to start this early? I'm going to go and count sheep and shit I guess. Fuck you whore. My name is Paul. You ain't got jack shit on me. It's day 2. I'll post roll in about 6 or 7 hours. See you addicts like me in the morning.
Go to bed quit, wake up quit.
No sleep dipping if you've flushed the cans.
Good to be quit with you.
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NEVER forget these first three days, it will make you never want to have to quit again.
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This is a first...not drinking and not dipping. Unfortunately, no rest for the weary. Is this shit supposed to start this early? I'm going to go and count sheep and shit I guess. Fuck you whore. My name is Paul. You ain't got jack shit on me. It's day 2. I'll post roll in about 6 or 7 hours. See you addicts like me in the morning.
Sleep will return. If it doesn't I used Tylenol PM and Nyquil for about the first 100 days of my quit.
It is temporary remember every miserable second of what you are going through right now. There will come a day when all this pain fades and you will think you have this thing whipped.
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"There will come a day when all this pain fades and you will think you have this thing whipped."
I already have it whipped. Pain or not, I've won. Day 1 was victory. Nothing will make me turn back. Not even the restless sleep last night (when it finally came) or the dull pounding in the front of my skull that has been there since I got up this morning would change that. All the Nic Bitch's tricks are just her dying throes and lashing out. I laugh in her ugly face.
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"There will come a day when all this pain fades and you will think you have this thing whipped."
I already have it whipped. Pain or not, I've won. Day 1 was victory. Nothing will make me turn back. Not even the restless sleep last night (when it finally came) or the dull pounding in the front of my skull that has been there since I got up this morning would change that. All the Nic Bitch's tricks are just her dying throes and lashing out. I laugh in her ugly face.
You got it man!! You sound like I did when I started.
This was one of my first entries a month ago. Since then, I've been telling her to fuck off every morning as part of roll call. As far as I see it, you have the right mentality. Embrace the suck...she's fighting for her life. Don't let the cunt win!
Been down this road many times. I "Stopped" chew for 1year then picked up again in May. I had quit smoking before for a full year too. LOL. No more. Not this time. FUCK YOU Addict! You think you're so fucking smart? Well you just wait till I starve your ass to death. I'm ready for your desperate attempts to save yourself. You can forget it. Nothing you can do will last more than a short moment. NONE your pathetic childish attempts to trick me into getting what you want will work this time. Now I'm smarter, wiser, stronger. And not only do I have support from my family, I have the support of KILLTHECAN. You might be stronger than me, but there's NO WAY you're stronger than my TEAM. So FUCK YOU bitch!
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"There will come a day when all this pain fades and you will think you have this thing whipped."
I already have it whipped. Pain or not, I've won. Day 1 was victory. Nothing will make me turn back. Not even the restless sleep last night (when it finally came) or the dull pounding in the front of my skull that has been there since I got up this morning would change that. All the Nic Bitch's tricks are just her dying throes and lashing out. I laugh in her ugly face.
Just quit for today and repeat. I've been doing that for a while, now, but I still don't think I have it whipped. The addiction keeps reminding me of its existence.
As with AgLawyer, we share a lack of brevity and a similarity of story. PM if you need anything.
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"There will come a day when all this pain fades and you will think you have this thing whipped."
I already have it whipped. Pain or not, I've won. Day 1 was victory. Nothing will make me turn back. Not even the restless sleep last night (when it finally came) or the dull pounding in the front of my skull that has been there since I got up this morning would change that. All the Nic Bitch's tricks are just her dying throes and lashing out. I laugh in her ugly face.
FUCKING YES!
You have won my friend. That's the shit right there. BOOM. Fucking powerful shit saying you have taken back your world. Of course your body is going to make it hard. You've been filling it full of poison on a daily basis...consciously! Fight through this part. You got this bro. Whole bunch of folks here to help get you through.
I quit with you.
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"There will come a day when all this pain fades and you will think you have this thing whipped."
I already have it whipped. Pain or not, I've won. Day 1 was victory. Nothing will make me turn back. Not even the restless sleep last night (when it finally came) or the dull pounding in the front of my skull that has been there since I got up this morning would change that. All the Nic Bitch's tricks are just her dying throes and lashing out. I laugh in her ugly face.
You can do it. Fuck sleep for now, it's over rated. Long as we don't dip, we win.
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It's 11:45 PM. The Nic Bitch thinks she's pulling some funny shit with my sleep habits. Of course, being a stupid short-sighted bitch, she (a) failed to take into account that I could post shit about her while I'm awake, and (B) I bought a new book I've been meaning to read so I'm going to sit in my den and enjoy something on the Bitch's nickel.
To my fellow March quitters, keep your head up and keep your sense of humor. If you get down about your quit it's going to be hard. Hell, you (like me) did it to yourself, so you might as well laugh at yourself and the mind games you're going to have to deal with.
I challenge any of my fellow March brothers to post a story in my thread about something funny or poignant that has happened since your Day 1 that has to do with giving up dip or nic. Doesn't even have to be that funny...for example my story from yesterday where I was concerned about buying 2 for $1 bags of seeds when I've been buying 2 or 3 cans of Skoal per FUCKING day for years. Just something that someone else can read about and know that they're not alone in this.
On another note, I went to the convenience store that I have bought dip at today (as I did yesterday). Today though I went to buy beer and tell the clerk that's been my dealer that I'm quit (though I could have bought beer anywhere in town). He looked at me and said good luck. He now knows that I'm not a customer for the Poison. Felt damn good.
I don't know why, and I'm not sure that I can tell you how, but I feel fucking great. Yes, my head had a dull pounding all day and I slept poor last night. I still feel great. I feel better about myself than I have in YEARS. If you're struggling, if you feel down, if you need help - PM me. I'll give you my cell number and my office number and I'll tell you why you should feel better and not worse.
It's Day 3. I'll post roll in a few hours. I'll go ahead and tell you though that I'll be promising to stay quit.
Later.
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It's 11:45 PM. The Nic Bitch thinks she's pulling some funny shit with my sleep habits. Of course, being a stupid short-sighted bitch, she (a) failed to take into account that I could post shit about her while I'm awake, and (B) I bought a new book I've been meaning to read so I'm going to sit in my den and enjoy something on the Bitch's nickel.
To my fellow March quitters, keep your head up and keep your sense of humor. If you get down about your quit it's going to be hard. Hell, you (like me) did it to yourself, so you might as well laugh at yourself and the mind games you're going to have to deal with.
I challenge any of my fellow March brothers to post a story in my thread about something funny or poignant that has happened since your Day 1 that has to do with giving up dip or nic. Doesn't even have to be that funny...for example my story from yesterday where I was concerned about buying 2 for $1 bags of seeds when I've been buying 2 or 3 cans of Skoal per FUCKING day for years. Just something that someone else can read about and know that they're not alone in this.
On another note, I went to the convenience store that I have bought dip at today (as I did yesterday). Today though I went to buy beer and tell the clerk that's been my dealer that I'm quit (though I could have bought beer anywhere in town). He looked at me and said good luck. He now knows that I'm not a customer for the Poison. Felt damn good.
I don't know why, and I'm not sure that I can tell you how, but I feel fucking great. Yes, my head had a dull pounding all day and I slept poor last night. I still feel great. I feel better about myself than I have in YEARS. If you're struggling, if you feel down, if you need help - PM me. I'll give you my cell number and my office number and I'll tell you why you should feel better and not worse.
It's Day 3. I'll post roll in a few hours. I'll go ahead and tell you though that I'll be promising to stay quit.
Later.
Well done. Stay the course and keep the positive attitude. I remember early in my quit I was struggling with insomnia as well as massive craves. However, my spirit was intact because something clicked - I knew that I was winning...winning like never before. I still feel that way on day 147. You, too, are winning. Freedom is amazing. Shout if you need anything.
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He looked at me and said good luck. He now knows that I'm not a customer for the Poison. Felt damn good.
You should have cracked a Gennie Cream on his forehead and pissed on his shirt.
Good luck? Good luck?
You don't need luck. You've got balls...gigantic balls of steel. You are quit my friend.
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He looked at me and said good luck. He now knows that I'm not a customer for the Poison. Felt damn good.
You should have cracked a Gennie Cream on his forehead and pissed on his shirt.
Good luck? Good luck?
You don't need luck. You've got balls...gigantic balls of steel. You are quit my friend.
I damn near pissed myself laughing at this. That's funny. BTW they don't sell that Gennie Cream shit down here as far as I know.
One other thing...damn right I'm quit. Done. Forever.
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Like my fellow quit bro JW, I'm using this space to chronicle my quit and, if need be, call a spade (the Nic Bitch) a spade.
So in the process of having a few cold beers tonight (my in-laws are in town from northern Michigan - we were cooking Walleye and Perch), I started thinking about telling my wife on Christmas that I was at Day 7. By about 10:00 PM or so, I had decided two things. One, I wanted to go ahead and tell her. Two, I wasn't real sure how she would react to my first introduction post and I wanted to get any negativity gone now rather than on Christmas (remember...I was a lying douche bag for years).
So I showed her my first post. I showed her some responses, the PMs I have gotten, some HOF speeches (like AgLawyer), some harsh shit, some funny shit, etc. Hell, she spent over an hour on here just reading after we started. Unfortunately, I couldn't get her to agree to become my GIF avatar like MikeA or AtomicDiesel or tex, so my avatar search continues. But I digress...she's now a huge fan of the site. She is now my biggest supporter. She (on her own) went and read the part of the site about being a spouse supporting your quitter. I feel better than I have in years about me. I'm glad that she knows that I was a lying douche bag for years about my addiction. She probably has a better understanding of why than she ever has before. I felt good the last three days. I feel better tonight. I already can tell I won't be sleeping anytime soon. Who cares? I'll read some tonight. I'll post roll in a few minutes. And tomorrow I'll be there for any one of my brothers that needs me.
Day 4 coming soon Dogs. Let's wear the bitch out.
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It is 2:13. I am reading your thread. Love it. Love new quit. 1 day at a time. Best advice ever. Shout if necessary. You can count on me.
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Like my fellow quit bro JW, I'm using this space to chronicle my quit and, if need be, call a spade (the Nic Bitch) a spade.
So in the process of having a few cold beers tonight (my in-laws are in town from northern Michigan - we were cooking Walleye and Perch), I started thinking about telling my wife on Christmas that I was at Day 7. By about 10:00 PM or so, I had decided two things. One, I wanted to go ahead and tell her. Two, I wasn't real sure how she would react to my first introduction post and I wanted to get any negativity gone now rather than on Christmas (remember...I was a lying douche bag for years).
So I showed her my first post. I showed her some responses, the PMs I have gotten, some HOF speeches (like AgLawyer), some harsh shit, some funny shit, etc. Hell, she spent over an hour on here just reading after we started. Unfortunately, I couldn't get her to agree to become my GIF avatar like MikeA or AtomicDiesel or tex, so my avatar search continues. But I digress...she's now a huge fan of the site. She is now my biggest supporter. She (on her own) went and read the part of the site about being a spouse supporting your quitter. I feel better than I have in years about me. I'm glad that she knows that I was a lying douche bag for years about my addiction. She probably has a better understanding of why than she ever has before. I felt good the last three days. I feel better tonight. I already can tell I won't be sleeping anytime soon. Who cares? I'll read some tonight. I'll post roll in a few minutes. And tomorrow I'll be there for any one of my brothers that needs me.
Day 4 coming soon Dogs. Let's wear the bitch out.
first off man that walleyes good eatin.
seckind man you need to show your old lady my thred cuz man shes gotta be from mishigin like her fokes rite? man i got some stuff there bout mishigin drivers man. i think they lern to drive at the kmarts man. its eether that or there all reely stoopid. i aint figgered it out yet.
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Like my fellow quit bro JW, I'm using this space to chronicle my quit and, if need be, call a spade (the Nic Bitch) a spade.
So in the process of having a few cold beers tonight (my in-laws are in town from northern Michigan - we were cooking Walleye and Perch), I started thinking about telling my wife on Christmas that I was at Day 7. By about 10:00 PM or so, I had decided two things. One, I wanted to go ahead and tell her. Two, I wasn't real sure how she would react to my first introduction post and I wanted to get any negativity gone now rather than on Christmas (remember...I was a lying douche bag for years).
So I showed her my first post. I showed her some responses, the PMs I have gotten, some HOF speeches (like AgLawyer), some harsh shit, some funny shit, etc. Hell, she spent over an hour on here just reading after we started. Unfortunately, I couldn't get her to agree to become my GIF avatar like MikeA or AtomicDiesel or tex, so my avatar search continues. But I digress...she's now a huge fan of the site. She is now my biggest supporter. She (on her own) went and read the part of the site about being a spouse supporting your quitter. I feel better than I have in years about me. I'm glad that she knows that I was a lying douche bag for years about my addiction. She probably has a better understanding of why than she ever has before. I felt good the last three days. I feel better tonight. I already can tell I won't be sleeping anytime soon. Who cares? I'll read some tonight. I'll post roll in a few minutes. And tomorrow I'll be there for any one of my brothers that needs me.
Day 4 coming soon Dogs. Let's wear the bitch out.
Great Job! Telling the wife is a huge step, I was a ninja dipper (and a damn good one, my wife had no idea and we've been married 12 years!) took me a month to tell her I was an addict and I was quit.... Toughest conversation of my life, but it was the one thing that strengthened me the most. Lots of ex-ninjas floating around, you don't have to read too deep into HOF speeches to find lots of stuff on being honest. Don't want him to get all arrogant but DennyX's HOF speech was pretty good on the topic.
Once again great job, I'll quit with you today
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Can't believe that in a few minutes it'll be Day 5.
Though...you know what...fuck that kind of thinking. Damn right I can believe it. Just because I didn't DO it for 26 years doesn't mean that it's fucking some incredible, magnanimous feat or something. I mean let's be honest...dipping and chewing is nasty. Yellow teeth. Cancerous cells in your mouth. Breath that smells like the ass of a water buffalo. Smiling and looking like you've been straining coffee grounds with your teeth. Fore finger and thumb stained brown and stinking like you stuck them in a skunk's ass. Fucking dip all over the carpet, seats, and floor boards of my truck.
Fuck that shit. And you're talking about a 2 to 3 can per day guy just a few days ago. My first HOF speech will be to my kids about why they really don't want to be into dipping because as cool as you think you are the chicks really don't dig it. I might be the first to do a power point presentation for my HOF.
So the sleep deprivation continues. I really don't give a shit. I read, check out the site, read HOF speeches, think about new and innovative ways to curse the Bitch, and generally just sit around and feel damn good about me. Telling the Mrs. PMac last night was the best feeling ever. There is absolutely NOT A CHANCE that I would fail myself, her, or my kids at this point.
Anyway, back to my original point...
I have zero respect for the bitch. Quitting her is easy. The habit is pitiful and quite frankly I'm embarrassed that it lasted 20+ years. When you look at the crack whore on TV and look down your nose...you, like me, are looking at yourself. Fuck that. No more. Don't feel sorry for yourself in your quit because if you do you're feeling sorry for the addict that had no life outside of the can - fuck the addict - the addict is the most worthless among us so shed that shit and be a happy, free, fun person. Rejoice, with me, that you are free of the nicotine and nasty lip packing. If you are married, take your wife to dinner. Spend time with your kids. Enjoy the next few days if you are Christian and thank God that he has provided you with the abilities and tools to be beyond some addiction that is SOOOO easy to be done with.
I've said it before. PM me if you are just starting out. I will walk with you. I'll carry you. This is easy for me. I'll pledge to be quit with you if you promise me the same. I won't beg you, I won't coddle you, and I won't try to make you quit...if you're quit with me then you're as committed as I am. If you send me your number I'll call you on Christmas and wish you (a) a Merry Christmas and (2) a Merry Quit.
Peace.
PMac.
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Not much more to say other than FUCk YES! Own that bitch. KEEP that positive outlook. I felt just like you do at that point (and still do). Well done, counselor.
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Nice work PMac. Fight on.
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Can't believe that in a few minutes it'll be Day 5.
Though...you know what...fuck that kind of thinking. Damn right I can believe it. Just because I didn't DO it for 26 years doesn't mean that it's fucking some incredible, magnanimous feat or something. I mean let's be honest...dipping and chewing is nasty. Yellow teeth. Cancerous cells in your mouth. Breath that smells like the ass of a water buffalo. Smiling and looking like you've been straining coffee grounds with your teeth. Fore finger and thumb stained brown and stinking like you stuck them in a skunk's ass. Fucking dip all over the carpet, seats, and floor boards of my truck.
Fuck that shit. And you're talking about a 2 to 3 can per day guy just a few days ago. My first HOF speech will be to my kids about why they really don't want to be into dipping because as cool as you think you are the chicks really don't dig it. I might be the first to do a power point presentation for my HOF.
So the sleep deprivation continues. I really don't give a shit. I read, check out the site, read HOF speeches, think about new and innovative ways to curse the Bitch, and generally just sit around and feel damn good about me. Telling the Mrs. PMac last night was the best feeling ever. There is absolutely NOT A CHANCE that I would fail myself, her, or my kids at this point.
Anyway, back to my original point...
I have zero respect for the bitch. Quitting her is easy. The habit is pitiful and quite frankly I'm embarrassed that it lasted 20+ years. When you look at the crack whore on TV and look down your nose...you, like me, are looking at yourself. Fuck that. No more. Don't feel sorry for yourself in your quit because if you do you're feeling sorry for the addict that had no life outside of the can - fuck the addict - the addict is the most worthless among us so shed that shit and be a happy, free, fun person. Rejoice, with me, that you are free of the nicotine and nasty lip packing. If you are married, take your wife to dinner. Spend time with your kids. Enjoy the next few days if you are Christian and thank God that he has provided you with the abilities and tools to be beyond some addiction that is SOOOO easy to be done with.
I've said it before. PM me if you are just starting out. I will walk with you. I'll carry you. This is easy for me. I'll pledge to be quit with you if you promise me the same. I won't beg you, I won't coddle you, and I won't try to make you quit...if you're quit with me then you're as committed as I am. If you send me your number I'll call you on Christmas and wish you (a) a Merry Christmas and (2) a Merry Quit.
Peace.
PMac.
Werd !!
'clap'
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More Reasons not to dip... Funny shit right here !
Breath that smells like the ass of a water buffalo.Â
Smiling and looking like you've been straining coffee grounds with your teeth.Â
Fore finger and thumb stained brown and stinking like you stuck them in a skunk's ass.Â
Fucking dip all over the carpet, seats, and floor boards of my truck.
This I would like to see.. I might be the first to do a power point presentation for my HOF.
Like this attitude... I really don't give a shit.Â
I read, check out the site, read HOF speeches, think about new and innovative ways to curse the Bitch,
I do this often also... Generally just sit around and feel damn good about me.
Me too... I have zero respect for the bitch. Quitting her is easy. The habit is pitiful and quite frankly I'm embarrassed that it lasted 20+ years.
Living free of the bitch... If you are married, take your wife to dinner.Â
Spend time with your kids.Â
Enjoy the next few days if you are Christian and thank God that he has provided you with the abilities and tools.
DEAL.... See you at roll call dailyI'll pledge to be quit with you if you promise me the same.
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More Reasons not to dip... Funny shit right here !Breath that smells like the ass of a water buffalo.Â
Smiling and looking like you've been straining coffee grounds with your teeth.Â
Fore finger and thumb stained brown and stinking like you stuck them in a skunk's ass.Â
Fucking dip all over the carpet, seats, and floor boards of my truck.
This I would like to see.. I might be the first to do a power point presentation for my HOF.
Like this attitude... I really don't give a shit.Â
I read, check out the site, read HOF speeches, think about new and innovative ways to curse the Bitch,
I do this often also... Generally just sit around and feel damn good about me.
Me too... I have zero respect for the bitch. Quitting her is easy. The habit is pitiful and quite frankly I'm embarrassed that it lasted 20+ years.
Living free of the bitch... If you are married, take your wife to dinner.Â
Spend time with your kids.Â
Enjoy the next few days if you are Christian and thank God that he has provided you with the abilities and tools.
DEAL.... See you at roll call dailyI'll pledge to be quit with you if you promise me the same.
outstanding!
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More Reasons not to dip... Funny shit right here !Breath that smells like the ass of a water buffalo.Â
Smiling and looking like you've been straining coffee grounds with your teeth.Â
Fore finger and thumb stained brown and stinking like you stuck them in a skunk's ass.Â
Fucking dip all over the carpet, seats, and floor boards of my truck.
This I would like to see.. I might be the first to do a power point presentation for my HOF.
Like this attitude... I really don't give a shit.Â
I read, check out the site, read HOF speeches, think about new and innovative ways to curse the Bitch,
I do this often also... Generally just sit around and feel damn good about me.
Me too... I have zero respect for the bitch. Quitting her is easy. The habit is pitiful and quite frankly I'm embarrassed that it lasted 20+ years.
Living free of the bitch... If you are married, take your wife to dinner.Â
Spend time with your kids.Â
Enjoy the next few days if you are Christian and thank God that he has provided you with the abilities and tools.
DEAL.... See you at roll call dailyI'll pledge to be quit with you if you promise me the same.
outstanding!
Right on PMac!
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Day 5 is rolling to a close. Worst day so far. Not necessarily because of the quit, but just because work sucked real bad today. Anxiety was bad and I had the first instance of realizing what I USED to do when I felt like that. Be a little pussy and sneak off like a weasel and put some worm dirt in my lip to ease myself down.
FUCK THAT!
When I left my office and called my wife she asked how the day went and I told her the whole thing. I'm pretty sure she wanted to ask whether I caved. Listen, my office was technically closed. For the most part I was there alone. For a ninja dipper (like me before the 19th) it would have been like paradise. But, I laughed and told her that I was even more committed to my quit at 4:00 PM on Friday, December 23rd than I was on Monday, December 19th when I woke up. I told her that I am so looking forward to spending the next three days with my family and how awesome it is going to be that I am not going to have to worry about when and where I can sneak off and have that little pinch between the cheek and gum. I meant every word of it because I meant every word of my pledge when I posted roll this morning.
So on the eve of the Eve, I am sitting here and thinking about how thankful I am that tonight I didn't have to sneak off to have a little dip while my wife's family was here at the house and we were having our Christmas early with them. I'm thankful that the people that started this site were inspired to help others. I'm thankful that I have quit brothers that PM me and text me on my cell phone to ask how shit is going. That is TRULY amazing. My wife is beyond impressed by this place. I'm thankful that Gunner is now posting roll and PM'd me tonight and will be my quit brother in March. Hell, I'm thankful that Tex0322 and MikeA have avatars that can make the minutes of my insomnia pass like seconds.
Tomorrow night will probably be nuts trying to get presents wrapped for kids and stuff, so if I don't post something tomorrow night be confident that I'm still going strong and that my pledge tomorrow morning hasn't been violated. So if I don't make it back after tomorrow morning, I truly hope that everyone here has a Merry Christmas and/or Happy Holidays. To those that have my cell number, it's on and it's available if you need to talk, rant, or scream.
PMac
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Day 6 wound itself up and Day 7 started. We finished getting Santa's stuff out for the kids. This was my first weekend day without the the nasty shit. I kept busy, so it wasn't too bad.
Here's hoping that all you quitters have a Merry Christmas. I'm amazed by this place and I hope that everyone has a great day today.
Peace.
PMac.
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Day 8. December 26th. I pretty much summed up how I feel right now in the Quit Groups thread. Time for the bitching and feeling sorry for yourself to end.
Peace.
PMac
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Day 8. December 26th. I pretty much summed up how I feel right now in the Quit Groups thread. Time for the bitching and feeling sorry for yourself to end.
Peace.
PMac
Inspirational stuff. You're giving me a quit boner. Hang around brother. My only fear is your confidence may build to a point where you'll walk away from the site.
my fear is strong because I've caved when on my own after a year! Granted, I may be more of an idiot that the average quitter...that I had to learn the hard way that once an addict, always an addict. It only takes one to awaken the cunt, and before you know it, it's years before you try again.
Protect your quit! I'm thrilled to quit with you today.
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Day 8. December 26th. I pretty much summed up how I feel right now in the Quit Groups thread. Time for the bitching and feeling sorry for yourself to end.
Peace.
PMac
PMac
Keep up the good work man. Keep posting here in your intro when you are having a bad day look back through your post and the replies you got draw from that. Don't forget to post good days as well you will have ups and downs. I still use my intro and I just hit 1000 days so nothing wrong with venting.
Stay Quit
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Many thanks to markr and Cornholio for their thoughts. No doubt I think about making sure that I stay the course. I've "quit" for a week or so several times. I know now that it'll take constant vigilance! Thanks for your interest and your input...it really is valued.
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your quit will go through cycles of strength and weakness, awesome easiness and brutal difficulty, constant vigilance and surprising indifference. the cycles are different for everyone, but it helps to go back to an older quit group and read what was going on throughout their quits. it helps to remind you that what you're going through is normal and of what's to come.
i think my quit's on a 80 day cycle of suck. i hit funks at 80 and around 160, so i'm on the lookout for another here. get to know your quit... it'll help you to plan.
enjoy the easy days, remember the hard days, and always stay vigilant. it's a crafty addiction (as i suspect all addictions are... this was my only one), and it'll keep rearing it's ugly head to try and temp you. be aware and be strong.
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Thanks DCHOGS. Thanks for the thoughts and positive vibe. I've started and failed so many times that getting this far this time and actually believing that I will continue is awesome. But being a multiple-quit-failure ("MQF"), I truly know that even though I say that I'm done forever I still have to protect my quit daily.
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PMac,
We have all paused and re-started multiple times on our own. The difference is this quit you have this site, the resources provided here, and thousands of bad ass quitters willing to help you stay clean. If you had a bad moment alone it was easy to return to the can. When you have a bad moment now you can reach out and get support !!
You are right, we are addicts and as such need to remain vigilant. Posting roll is that daily reminder that you cannot relax. Stay close to the site, keep posting roll, become active in other peoples quit and you will be fine. Become relaxed, wander from the site, think you have this thing whipped and problems develop.
You can remain clean, but you are NEVER cured. The second you forget your an addict you are in trouble...
STAY QUIT
Greg
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(as i suspect all addictions are... this was my only one)
re-reading this, i found some addict speak sneaking into my words.
this should read:
(as i suspect all addictions are... this IS my only one)
carry on.
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Proud of you PMac. You got a great quit going on.
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Appreciate it AD - couldn't have done it without KTC and guys like you. Now let's go kick the bitch in the ass.
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To all of you fellow dirty, no good, dirt chewing, rotten, mean ass, sorry SOBs, I wish you a happy, nic free, crave free, and magnificent 2012.
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Hello, I am new here. I've been dipping for the past 10 years, I go through 3 cans a week. I am writing this post with a dip in my mouth... Tomorrow brings a new year,- a fresh start on a clean slate. I have wanted to and have "tried" to quit a few times over the years. I found this site about 2 months ago and have seen much support help and community from over viewing it. I have always put off quitting and made stupid excuses as why "now" isn't the right time. I figure if I can't quit now I never will. My wife and family are Thrilled I have decided to quit and a group that can help. Jan 1 2012 is day 1 for me. Thanks for your being here and am looking forward to beating this addiction! Killin the can!
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First, glad you picked my thread to post in.
Second, throw out your your shit and go post roll. Now.
Third, fuck you. Don't come into my thread and say youhave a fucking dip your fucking mouth! You have absolutely got to be absolutely kidding a 14 day quitter to walk in to my god damn thread and on 01/01 say you have a fucking lip in. Seriously?
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Holy shit was Day 15 the worst day so far, LOL. For me the connection between watching Georgia football and dipping is strong. Didn't make it easier watching the embarrassing collapse to a fucking worthless Big Ten team. When your priorities in life have Georgia football in the top 5 after God, family, country, and work - watching something like what happened today is a trying thing for a new quitter.
Fortunately, I saw the bitch for what she was, kicked her in the ass, and moved on.
Happy New Years to all the quitters. You guys rock.
PMac
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Holy shit was Day 15 the worst day so far, LOL. For me the connection between watching Georgia football and dipping is strong. Didn't make it easier watching the embarrassing collapse to a fucking worthless Big Ten team. When your priorities in life have Georgia football in the top 5 after God, family, country, and work - watching something like what happened today is a trying thing for a new quitter.
Fortunately, I saw the bitch for what she was, kicked her in the ass, and moved on.
Happy New Years to all the quitters. You guys rock.
PMac
Looks like you are seeing it for what it was. My Day 15 was my worst up to that point and since. I, too, at that point saw it for what it was and dismissed it. Nice going.
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What with the holidays and all, I've been a slack ass about where I am.
Overall, I am proud of myself that I am quit still. 15 days. Never been that long in over two and a half decades....that is longer than some of you new quitters on here have been alive. Think about THAT shit. Anyway, for the most part it has all been good. I am beating the bitch's ass. My wife had a long come-to-Jesus meeting with me yesterday about my attitude with the kids...and she is almost certainly right about the shortness that I have exhibited with their behavior. But all in all that is just some anxiousness that I am now starting to recognize and be able to deal with before it gets the better of me. My wife told me yesterday that for the first time in as long as she can remember (we've been married since August of 1996 and started dating in 1992), it was great to not have to smell the dip when hugging, kissing, etc.
As for the down side, well...there hasn't been a down side. That doesn't mean that the insomnia hasn't sucked (because it has), and it doesn't mean that inability to get back to sleep after waking up hasn't sucked (because it has too), but both conditions are getting better. Those are down sides but I laugh at any symptoms or minor problems that cause me discomfort or inconvenience in my quit.
There are so many great people on this site that have helped me. Right now, I am a bad ass, mean mo-fo, quit monster and if you are in any way attempting to get in the way of my quit be prepared to get run-the-fuck-over...but considering that I've been a failure so many times in the past it would be a crime not to recognize all the the people on here who inspire me, support me, reach out to me, and help me continue day after day. Thank you to every one of you who are here. I, and my wife, truly thank you. If I tried to name you all I would undoubtedly leave some out.
Time to get back to being a QUIT ANIMAL!
PMac
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atta boy, pmac. you've got this.
love your response to ryan, btw.
let me know if you need anthing... use my number.
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Wow. Found three cans of unopened Skoal Long Cut Mint this evening putting on my heaviest winter jacket to go to dinner. Here in the Atlanta area getting down in the low 20s/high teens tonight so I pulled out the heavy jacket as we were heading out to go get some dinner with the kids.
They were all from last year in the winter. Being a notorious ninja, I hid Skoal all over the place. I'm sure that I'm not done finding cans hidden after drinking a few too many beers. Anyway, I dumped all three with my wife watching. When I started cutting them I looked at her and she was not saying a word and was wide-eyed...I'm sure worried as hell that I was about to throw in a lip.
But I flushed it all. Smelled bad, looked bad. Best part was me mumbling something about "nasty bitch" under my breath as I was dumping it in the toilet and my wife saying "WHAT did you just say to me?!?" We actually both laughed after I explained the nic bitch and the fact that I was "talking" to the black shit floating in the water.
Hope everyone is quitting good. Now get out there and be a quit monster today.
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Wow. Found three cans of unopened Skoal Long Cut Mint this evening putting on my heaviest winter jacket to go to dinner. Here in the Atlanta area getting down in the low 20s/high teens tonight so I pulled out the heavy jacket as we were heading out to go get some dinner with the kids.
They were all from last year in the winter. Being a notorious ninja, I hid Skoal all over the place. I'm sure that I'm not done finding cans hidden after drinking a few too many beers. Anyway, I dumped all three with my wife watching. When I started cutting them I looked at her and she was not saying a word and was wide-eyed...I'm sure worried as hell that I was about to throw in a lip.
But I flushed it all. Smelled bad, looked bad. Best part was me mumbling something about "nasty bitch" under my breath as I was dumping it in the toilet and my wife saying "WHAT did you just say to me?!?" We actually both laughed after I explained the nic bitch and the fact that I was "talking" to the black shit floating in the water.
Hope everyone is quitting good. Now get out there and be a quit monster today.
Sneaky, sneaky. You should have taken a shit on it before flushing. Teach that bitch a lesson to try and fuck with you. The nic bitch that is...lol
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Props to you PMac. Keep fighting bro. You've got quitter balls....steel shiny quitter balls.
Some times I like to put mine on the table during a meeting.
"Oh those balls...yeah that's my quit right there. Yeah, they're steel."
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Sonetimes I don't feel like I got quitter balls at all. But dudes like you are inspirational and they're all over this place!
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Sonetimes I don't feel like I got quitter balls at all. But dudes like you are inspirational and they're all over this place!
Fuck that, yeah you do. You have a great attitude. That is nothing but pure steel balls as far as I'm concerned. Keep that great attitude. This is nothing but a mind game so might as well keep it positive and understand it for what it is.
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Sonetimes I don't feel like I got quitter balls at all. But dudes like you are inspirational and they're all over this place!
Fuck that, yeah you do. You have a great attitude. That is nothing but pure steel balls as far as I'm concerned. Keep that great attitude. This is nothing but a mind game so might as well keep it positive and understand it for what it is.
NO.
Have conviction in your quit. You are fighting through one of toughest mental battles you could ever face: to use or not to use. That question, which we all face everyday, will be there for a long time. Over the period of your active using, you created all these patterns that involved your nicotine consumption. You defined your life with that constant thread running through it. You are now actively engaged in a transformation. You have had the conscious awakening that you have been killing yourself daily with poison. You have recognized that your life is worth living and that a chemical has been fooling you. That moment you decided to separate these patterns is bad ass. That is absolute power. The physical response your body is telling your mind is the exact opposite of what "you" want, the "you" that has been overrun by those patterns.
You are winning this fight. The PMac that has been struggling for a breath is getting some elbow room now and I suggest he start throwing some elbows with conviction. He is the one being saved. He is the one that we are all getting to know more and more daily. I dig that guy.
Tread water. Eventually it too will be a pattern and define you...a clean you.
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Sonetimes I don't feel like I got quitter balls at all. But dudes like you are inspirational and they're all over this place!
Fuck that, yeah you do. You have a great attitude. That is nothing but pure steel balls as far as I'm concerned. Keep that great attitude. This is nothing but a mind game so might as well keep it positive and understand it for what it is.
NO.
Have conviction in your quit. You are fighting through one of toughest mental battles you could ever face: to use or not to use. That question, which we all face everyday, will be there for a long time. Over the period of your active using, you created all these patterns that involved your nicotine consumption. You defined your life with that constant thread running through it. You are now actively engaged in a transformation. You have had the conscious awakening that you have been killing yourself daily with poison. You have recognized that your life is worth living and that a chemical has been fooling you. That moment you decided to separate these patterns is bad ass. That is absolute power. The physical response your body is telling your mind is the exact opposite of what "you" want, the "you" that has been overrun by those patterns.
You are winning this fight. The PMac that has been struggling for a breath is getting some elbow room now and I suggest he start throwing some elbows with conviction. He is the one being saved. He is the one that we are all getting to know more and more daily. I dig that guy.
Tread water. Eventually it too will be a pattern and define you...a clean you.
Don't worry. I have conviction in my quit. I'm so invested in it now that if I wanted to cave I'd almost have to move out of state. I'm so far beyond it right now that it's not funny. The "not sure I have big quitter balls" comment was more about the fact that I don't feel like some big quit bad ass...I'm not out there converting the unclean or telling people that I know, am friends with, or care about that they can get well too. I guess what I am saying is that I'm still the puss that was embarrassed about doing it in the first place so now that I've quit I don't want people to know that I'm an addict and former user so I don't DO anything with my quit power. And I guess that there is a part of me that feels like that if I was really a quit bad ass that I'd be helping others even if it meant outing my former habit and always addiction.
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Sonetimes I don't feel like I got quitter balls at all. But dudes like you are inspirational and they're all over this place!
Fuck that, yeah you do. You have a great attitude. That is nothing but pure steel balls as far as I'm concerned. Keep that great attitude. This is nothing but a mind game so might as well keep it positive and understand it for what it is.
NO.
Have conviction in your quit. You are fighting through one of toughest mental battles you could ever face: to use or not to use. That question, which we all face everyday, will be there for a long time. Over the period of your active using, you created all these patterns that involved your nicotine consumption. You defined your life with that constant thread running through it. You are now actively engaged in a transformation. You have had the conscious awakening that you have been killing yourself daily with poison. You have recognized that your life is worth living and that a chemical has been fooling you. That moment you decided to separate these patterns is bad ass. That is absolute power. The physical response your body is telling your mind is the exact opposite of what "you" want, the "you" that has been overrun by those patterns.
You are winning this fight. The PMac that has been struggling for a breath is getting some elbow room now and I suggest he start throwing some elbows with conviction. He is the one being saved. He is the one that we are all getting to know more and more daily. I dig that guy.
Tread water. Eventually it too will be a pattern and define you...a clean you.
Don't worry. I have conviction in my quit. I'm so invested in it now that if I wanted to cave I'd almost have to move out of state. I'm so far beyond it right now that it's not funny. The "not sure I have big quitter balls" comment was more about the fact that I don't feel like some big quit bad ass...I'm not out there converting the unclean or telling people that I know, am friends with, or care about that they can get well too. I guess what I am saying is that I'm still the puss that was embarrassed about doing it in the first place so now that I've quit I don't want people to know that I'm an addict and former user so I don't DO anything with my quit power. And I guess that there is a part of me that feels like that if I was really a quit bad ass that I'd be helping others even if it meant outing my former habit and always addiction.
I work with a guy who dips 3cans a day. He had to quit drinking a couple years ago due to health issues. He loves his family, loves his work, and is more involved in the outcome of his world than anyone I know.
I don't want to be douchey and be THAT GUY who is pushing his agenda, so I don't talk about it much. I told him all about it early on. Any time he asks, well, that's when I lighten up and get excited about what it's done for me.
He's already said he would like to use something like KTC when he quits.
WHEN he quits. That was my door to push open. No bite yet. He's "thinking" about quitting for Lent.
Sound familiar? The decision to quit has to come from inside. To come to that conclusion, IT SURE HELPS if there's a rolemodel nearby so he can see IT IS POSSIBLE TO QUIT THIS SHIT, ONCE AND FOR ALL.
Just gotta decide to quit for today.
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My name is Brent and I'm 22 years old. I have started my quit for the sake of my family and girlfriend and myself. I've tried and failed before like many of you but this time I know I can do it with this powerful website. What made me start thinking about quitting was seeing my mother scoff at me while I played Nintendo with a fatty in. She's recovering from breast cancer and her hair had just started growing back on her bald head that was once covered with long beautiful hair. I will not let her down, and I won't let myself down either. I feel like a shitty son having to make her watch me kill myself. I need help and now I'm not looking back at the nic bitch anymore!
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Yesterday was my first big time crave event and it lasted a couple of hours. Man, did that suck. But considering that at no point did I even consider caving I determine it a highly successful day that will be invaluable to future craves.
I fucking love being quit.
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Yesterday was my first big time crave event and it lasted a couple of hours. Man, did that suck. But considering that at no point did I even consider caving I determine it a highly successful day that will be invaluable to future craves.
I fucking love being quit.
That attitude will keep you free !!
Embrace your quit, own your quit!!
NEVER AGAIN!!
Greg
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Yesterday was my first big time crave event and it lasted a couple of hours. Man, did that suck. But considering that at no point did I even consider caving I determine it a highly successful day that will be invaluable to future craves.
I fucking love being quit.
That attitude will keep you free !!
Embrace your quit, own your quit!!
NEVER AGAIN!!
Greg
That is hard core shit. You win.
Pmac = 1. Nic bitch = 0
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Yesterday was my first big time crave event and it lasted a couple of hours. Man, did that suck. But considering that at no point did I even consider caving I determine it a highly successful day that will be invaluable to future craves.
I fucking love being quit.
That attitude will keep you free !!
Embrace your quit, own your quit!!
NEVER AGAIN!!
Greg
That is hard core shit. You win.
Pmac = 1. Nic bitch = 0
Jeez PMac that is great stuff bro.
IRON MAN (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MII3ns2KTBc)
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Today is Day 24. In anticipation of Day 25 and being one-fourth of the way to nothing other than a date along the path of being quit forever (mind you that I'm looking DAMN forward to getting to that date though), I offer my top five reasons so far for being quit - and other than number 1 being the clear number 1, the rest are in no particular order:
1. I am quit. I am done. I may very well be an addict (okay...I am), but I'm no longer a slave. Easily number one. Plain and simple.
2. For the love of all things holy...how did I ever justify something that cost me upwards of $12 per day over the last five to ten years? Just using rough numbers, that's almost $4,400 per year. I won't bore you with numbers...just go to an online calculator of what would happen to that money if invested for the last decade. I haven't made a rough calculation of what it has been over the last 25 plus years. That's just depressing.
3. Since December 19th, the door to my office has not been closed a single time at work. When colleagues, employees, clients, or partners have wanted to speak to me there has been no closed door. When someone has tapped on the door (they still do so on the door jam out of politeness even though the door is open), I'm not scrambling to drag a coyote turd out of my cheek. I'm not forcing myself not to smile for fear of dip being spread out in my teeth like, well, someone dipping. I don't have to hope that they don't get close to me because the overpowering smell of Skoal Long Cut Mint is pervasive in the air. Oh, and I haven't had one instance of dropped dip when inserting or removing so it's not in the carpet, on my desk, on my credenza, in my keyboard, etc.
4. For 24 days, I haven't had one time where I had to be careful about being too close to my wife, not kissing her, not hugging her, not turning my head when watching something on television and she walks into the room, etc. This is probably right up there at Number Two. If you've been a NINJA dipper, then the liberation from the hiding, sneaking, slinking, and generally being an ass-clown douche bag is a great, great feeling.
5. This last one I'm going to call "confidence." Not like I am now super confident in everything because I have quit for a few weeks. More like - I haven't had one instance in the last three weeks where I have looked at my fingernails or fingers and seen brown stains or dip jammed up under the nails. I haven't had a stain on a pair of jeans, socks (you know the old move where you put a dip in while driving and then rub your fingers on your shoes or socks...right?), or shirt. I haven't looked in the mirror and seen black specks on my chin or in the corner of my mouth and wondered who the hell else had seen them before I saw them. I don't worry when I run into the mom of a friend of one of my kids if my breath smells like a camel's taint because I just took a dip out a few minutes earlier. I don't run into a friend in the store or a restaurant and wonder whether or not it looks like I have gaps between EVERY one of my teeth because there is dip stuck all over the place. In other words, I know that I don't exhibit the smells and characteristics of someone that is a lowly bitch to the nicotine tramp. That feels good. Makes me glad to run into folks rather than wish I could slip out of the way without being seen. What a miserable existence I had before. Damn straight I'm glad that it's gone.
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I like PMac. The dude has bought into the system and gets it. Proud to be quit with you today.
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Spent the last few days at Disney World with my wife and kids. No longer being a slave was fantastic. Not having to sneak off, make some excuse, or otherwise disappear like a ninja douche was awesome. I still hate going to Disney, but I loved spending time with my kids without constantly thinking about how I was going to get that next fix.
KTC rocks. I love being a quitter. If you're here for the first time going through the site wondering if this is right for you...it is! Get on board and buy in 100%.
PMac
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Spent the last few days at Disney World with my wife and kids. No longer being a slave was fantastic. Not having to sneak off, make some excuse, or otherwise disappear like a ninja douche was awesome. I still hate going to Disney, but I loved spending time with my kids without constantly thinking about how I was going to get that next fix.
KTC rocks. I love being a quitter. If you're here for the first time going through the site wondering if this is right for you...it is! Get on board and buy in 100%.
PMac
Is Disney World the one in California or Florida? I live in Iowa... My nephews would love to go there. Feels good to not have to sneak around, doesn't it? Keep it up man.
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Spent the last few days at Disney World with my wife and kids. No longer being a slave was fantastic. Not having to sneak off, make some excuse, or otherwise disappear like a ninja douche was awesome. I still hate going to Disney, but I loved spending time with my kids without constantly thinking about how I was going to get that next fix.
KTC rocks. I love being a quitter. If you're here for the first time going through the site wondering if this is right for you...it is! Get on board and buy in 100%.
PMac
Is Disney World the one in California or Florida? I live in Iowa... My nephews would love to go there. Feels good to not have to sneak around, doesn't it? Keep it up man.
I used to live next to it in Orlando. Disney Land is in California. You would think living close to the self proclaimed happiest place on earth would be great, right? WRONG! I heard fireworks EVERY NIGHT!!!
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This is good shit PMac. Perfect example of being the man you are suppose to be. That's awesome and made my day to read it.
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Spent the last few days at Disney World with my wife and kids. No longer being a slave was fantastic. Not having to sneak off, make some excuse, or otherwise disappear like a ninja douche was awesome. I still hate going to Disney, but I loved spending time with my kids without constantly thinking about how I was going to get that next fix.
KTC rocks. I love being a quitter. If you're here for the first time going through the site wondering if this is right for you...it is! Get on board and buy in 100%.
PMac
Amen brother. Man, to think of all the lost time I wasted being a ninja dipper. All the wasted opportunity with the kids. Time with the wife. Vacations always sucked unless I could find time to breakaway just to put black cancer shit in my face. Proud to quit with PMAC. You get to redefine who PMAC is now. Your better days are AHEAD of you. Never look back, but never forget you're an addict.
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Holy hell. Today I started CrossFit. I've done several rounds of P90X in the last three years and I've done Insanity twice. However, I didn't realize how out of shape I had become over the last six or seven months. I hurt like hell and I hurt all over.
Glad to be back at something though and it feel unbelievably awesome to be doing it and be 36 days into the quit of a lifetime and loving every minute of it. Funny...every time I did P90X there was the nagging in the back of my mind. Why? Because I did the nutrition plan, I did the workouts religiously, and I gave 110% every day...but I knew every day that I would continue to dip and that I was getting in the best shape of my life but killing myself one raccoon turd in my lip at a time. Not this time amigos!
Quit is good.
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Holy hell. Today I started CrossFit. I've done several rounds of P90X in the last three years and I've done Insanity twice. However, I didn't realize how out of shape I had become over the last six or seven months. I hurt like hell and I hurt all over.
Glad to be back at something though and it feel unbelievably awesome to be doing it and be 36 days into the quit of a lifetime and loving every minute of it. Funny...every time I did P90X there was the nagging in the back of my mind. Why? Because I did the nutrition plan, I did the workouts religiously, and I gave 110% every day...but I knew every day that I would continue to dip and that I was getting in the best shape of my life but killing myself one raccoon turd in my lip at a time. Not this time amigos!
Quit is good.
This is awesome PMac. My opinion is that there is no better way to separate the addict from you then changing your whole being and I really believe exercise is a fucking crowbar in that process. Way to go man.
You checking out some of the other threads around exercise? index.php?showtopic=755 (http://forum.killthecan.org/index.php?showtopic=755)
And if you want to see the fucking monks of fitness check out the endurance thread:
index.php?showtopic=1879 (http://forum.killthecan.org/index.php?showtopic=1879)
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Holy hell. Today I started CrossFit. I've done several rounds of P90X in the last three years and I've done Insanity twice. However, I didn't realize how out of shape I had become over the last six or seven months. I hurt like hell and I hurt all over.
Glad to be back at something though and it feel unbelievably awesome to be doing it and be 36 days into the quit of a lifetime and loving every minute of it. Funny...every time I did P90X there was the nagging in the back of my mind. Why? Because I did the nutrition plan, I did the workouts religiously, and I gave 110% every day...but I knew every day that I would continue to dip and that I was getting in the best shape of my life but killing myself one raccoon turd in my lip at a time. Not this time amigos!
Quit is good.
Welcome to crossfit, me redyota and ryan (when he is around) have been posting about our xfit experiences over in the exercise forum. I, like you, was a p90x'er and on again off again insanity guy, and I had the exact same thoughts! Look how healthy I am working out! I eat right! I am so healthy! Cut way back on the drinking, I am healthy!!!!! Anybody seen my cancer can? So fucked up, that being said I doing getting into crossfit, which is new to me since my quit began, is great because I am embracing it QUIT. I am also going fairly strict paleo (tomorrow makes 2 weeks of paleo). Come on over to exercise and join the party and bitching about the soreness!
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Been a couple of weeks since I posted in my thread. I'm up to Day 53 and still wearing out the nic bitch. Hard to believe that it has been almost two months since I was anxiously at the threshold of my quit. I can vividly remember both my determination and at the same time the feeling that for the first time I really wanted to be quit this time but still hearing that little voice in the back of my mind telling me that I just might not be able to do it. So far that little voice has been stomped flat. I ain't even got the time of day for that bitch.
My earlier sleep problems have been gone for several weeks. Best thing is that I am getting more sleep than I used to (because as a super-sly ninja douche I would stay up until the last person in my house was long asleep so that I could get that long 30 minutes to an hour with the possum turd) and better sleep than I used to (can't explain that one other than the fact that I'm getting more total hours of sleep but I definitely have been sleeping great).
My anxiety and being in a fog from the first few weeks has pretty much gone away. I've returned to being a relatively easy person to get along with, fair with my family, and a productive law partner.
Also I've been working out which has made a huge difference (though I have pain in muscles I didn't know existed). That probably has something to do with the better sleep.
Been trying to get a better diet in place that is both enjoyable (I can't maintain a long-term nutritional plan if I hate the food) and appropriate for a 41 year old man that wants to be around for another 30 or so years at least.
And finally, my latest conquest has been to give up Diet Coke completely. Been about 10 days or so without DC. Used to normally have two or three per day. I still drink a cup of coffee in the morning most days, but no DC period.
Hope everyone else is having a strong quit and sticking it to the nic bitch. I'm around a couple of times per day so if anyone needs anything PM me and I'll get back with you.
Be Quit!
PMac
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Been a couple of weeks since I posted in my thread. I'm up to Day 53 and still wearing out the nic bitch. Hard to believe that it has been almost two months since I was anxiously at the threshold of my quit. I can vividly remember both my determination and at the same time the feeling that for the first time I really wanted to be quit this time but still hearing that little voice in the back of my mind telling me that I just might not be able to do it. So far that little voice has been stomped flat. I ain't even got the time of day for that bitch.
My earlier sleep problems have been gone for several weeks. Best thing is that I am getting more sleep than I used to (because as a super-sly ninja douche I would stay up until the last person in my house was long asleep so that I could get that long 30 minutes to an hour with the possum turd) and better sleep than I used to (can't explain that one other than the fact that I'm getting more total hours of sleep but I definitely have been sleeping great).
My anxiety and being in a fog from the first few weeks has pretty much gone away. I've returned to being a relatively easy person to get along with, fair with my family, and a productive law partner.
Also I've been working out which has made a huge difference (though I have pain in muscles I didn't know existed). That probably has something to do with the better sleep.
Been trying to get a better diet in place that is both enjoyable (I can't maintain a long-term nutritional plan if I hate the food) and appropriate for a 41 year old man that wants to be around for another 30 or so years at least.
And finally, my latest conquest has been to give up Diet Coke completely. Been about 10 days or so without DC. Used to normally have two or three per day. I still drink a cup of coffee in the morning most days, but no DC period.
Hope everyone else is having a strong quit and sticking it to the nic bitch. I'm around a couple of times per day so if anyone needs anything PM me and I'll get back with you.
Be Quit!
PMac
'clap'
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Been a couple of weeks since I posted in my thread. I'm up to Day 53 and still wearing out the nic bitch. Hard to believe that it has been almost two months since I was anxiously at the threshold of my quit. I can vividly remember both my determination and at the same time the feeling that for the first time I really wanted to be quit this time but still hearing that little voice in the back of my mind telling me that I just might not be able to do it. So far that little voice has been stomped flat. I ain't even got the time of day for that bitch.
My earlier sleep problems have been gone for several weeks. Best thing is that I am getting more sleep than I used to (because as a super-sly ninja douche I would stay up until the last person in my house was long asleep so that I could get that long 30 minutes to an hour with the possum turd) and better sleep than I used to (can't explain that one other than the fact that I'm getting more total hours of sleep but I definitely have been sleeping great).
My anxiety and being in a fog from the first few weeks has pretty much gone away. I've returned to being a relatively easy person to get along with, fair with my family, and a productive law partner.
Also I've been working out which has made a huge difference (though I have pain in muscles I didn't know existed). That probably has something to do with the better sleep.
Been trying to get a better diet in place that is both enjoyable (I can't maintain a long-term nutritional plan if I hate the food) and appropriate for a 41 year old man that wants to be around for another 30 or so years at least.
And finally, my latest conquest has been to give up Diet Coke completely. Been about 10 days or so without DC. Used to normally have two or three per day. I still drink a cup of coffee in the morning most days, but no DC period.
Hope everyone else is having a strong quit and sticking it to the nic bitch. I'm around a couple of times per day so if anyone needs anything PM me and I'll get back with you.
Be Quit!
PMac
PMac, good to heat things are going well for you. I myself am quite moody when it comes to mt dew. I'm not hooked on it, but when I head to the library for the night I get the feeling that it's helpful in ampin me up and keeping me awake and focused. Sometimes I can do without it, some days I have multiple.
glad to hear you're doin good and the PM thing goes both ways. Since crossing the HOF threshold, I feel that stopping in here more often strengthens my quit and keeps me from becoming complacent.
Crew
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Cheers PMac. Keep fighting brother. Each day we all take a giant step forward. All of us.
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Knocking on the door of 80 days (today is 79) so I thought it would be a good time to update since my last post in my thread was at day 53.
My quit is kicking ass. In fact, I can't believe how well it has gone. Looking back, the only really tough things that I went through were some insomnia issues and some anxiety issues. Once the insomnia went away for the most part the anxiety seemed to kind of fix itself. Only one major crave and I can't remember even having the small, fleeting mini-craves in the last month or so.
As the HOF approaches and with the reflection and self-examination that I have done over the past 79 days or so, I think that what I take from my quit is that I was so completely ready to be done that it in reality it has been relatively easy. The insomnia and anxiety were short-lived in the grand scheme and rather than major issues they were merely inconveniences on the path of quit. I truly believe that the ease with which you quit is directly related to how ready you are to be really and truly quit forever. And I had been using two and a half decades and was up to three cans per day. But I was extremely ready to be quit on Day 1. I hated dip and had hated it for months if not years. I was anxious about quitting because I was afraid that I would fail (yet again) but not because I was worried about missing dip. I don't miss it. I don't miss the cost, the side effects, the smell, the taste, or anything else. I'm so damn glad that I am quit. I get up everyday and I'm so thankful and happy that I am quit and I know that there is absolutely no way in hell that I will dip that day under any circumstances.
Still no Diet Coke (or soda of any kind) for about a month and a half.
Been working a Paleo-ish diet and I actually feel better than I have felt in years (I pretty much do Paleo but I have been allowing a small amount of organic dairy every day).
Still doing CrossFit. Getting stronger, leaner, and in great shape.
So at forty-one and a half years old I feel better physically and feel better about myself mentally and emotionally than I have in years. Just think - the catalyst happened exactly 79 days ago.
Thanks KTC!
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Knocking on the door of 80 days (today is 79) so I thought it would be a good time to update since my last post in my thread was at day 53.
My quit is kicking ass. In fact, I can't believe how well it has gone. Looking back, the only really tough things that I went through were some insomnia issues and some anxiety issues. Once the insomnia went away for the most part the anxiety seemed to kind of fix itself. Only one major crave and I can't remember even having the small, fleeting mini-craves in the last month or so.
As the HOF approaches and with the reflection and self-examination that I have done over the past 79 days or so, I think that what I take from my quit is that I was so completely ready to be done that it in reality it has been relatively easy. The insomnia and anxiety were short-lived in the grand scheme and rather than major issues they were merely inconveniences on the path of quit. I truly believe that the ease with which you quit is directly related to how ready you are to be really and truly quit forever. And I had been using two and a half decades and was up to three cans per day. But I was extremely ready to be quit on Day 1. I hated dip and had hated it for months if not years. I was anxious about quitting because I was afraid that I would fail (yet again) but not because I was worried about missing dip. I don't miss it. I don't miss the cost, the side effects, the smell, the taste, or anything else. I'm so damn glad that I am quit. I get up everyday and I'm so thankful and happy that I am quit and I know that there is absolutely no way in hell that I will dip that day under any circumstances.
Still no Diet Coke (or soda of any kind) for about a month and a half.
Been working a Paleo-ish diet and I actually feel better than I have felt in years (I pretty much do Paleo but I have been allowing a small amount of organic dairy every day).
Still doing CrossFit. Getting stronger, leaner, and in great shape.
So at forty-one and a half years old I feel better physically and feel better about myself mentally and emotionally than I have in years. Just think - the catalyst happened exactly 79 days ago.
Thanks KTC!
Great stuff, damn proud to quit with you, and to continue our torture updates/support over in the exercise forum!
I also want to agree with you on the fact I wanted to quit so damn bad, I was almost relieved that this place makes me keep my word. I welcome it. Anytime i get a little lazy in my quit, I remember how much I hated being a slave, and how grateful I am for my freedom.
again great stuff.
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Knocking on the door of 80 days (today is 79) so I thought it would be a good time to update since my last post in my thread was at day 53.
My quit is kicking ass. In fact, I can't believe how well it has gone. Looking back, the only really tough things that I went through were some insomnia issues and some anxiety issues. Once the insomnia went away for the most part the anxiety seemed to kind of fix itself. Only one major crave and I can't remember even having the small, fleeting mini-craves in the last month or so.
As the HOF approaches and with the reflection and self-examination that I have done over the past 79 days or so, I think that what I take from my quit is that I was so completely ready to be done that it in reality it has been relatively easy. The insomnia and anxiety were short-lived in the grand scheme and rather than major issues they were merely inconveniences on the path of quit. I truly believe that the ease with which you quit is directly related to how ready you are to be really and truly quit forever. And I had been using two and a half decades and was up to three cans per day. But I was extremely ready to be quit on Day 1. I hated dip and had hated it for months if not years. I was anxious about quitting because I was afraid that I would fail (yet again) but not because I was worried about missing dip. I don't miss it. I don't miss the cost, the side effects, the smell, the taste, or anything else. I'm so damn glad that I am quit. I get up everyday and I'm so thankful and happy that I am quit and I know that there is absolutely no way in hell that I will dip that day under any circumstances.
Still no Diet Coke (or soda of any kind) for about a month and a half.
Been working a Paleo-ish diet and I actually feel better than I have felt in years (I pretty much do Paleo but I have been allowing a small amount of organic dairy every day).
Still doing CrossFit. Getting stronger, leaner, and in great shape.
So at forty-one and a half years old I feel better physically and feel better about myself mentally and emotionally than I have in years. Just think - the catalyst happened exactly 79 days ago.
Thanks KTC!
Great stuff, damn proud to quit with you, and to continue our torture updates/support over in the exercise forum!
I also want to agree with you on the fact I wanted to quit so damn bad, I was almost relieved that this place makes me keep my word. I welcome it. Anytime i get a little lazy in my quit, I remember how much I hated being a slave, and how grateful I am for my freedom.
again great stuff.
Proud to be quit with you too Luby and I'm enjoying the progression through the nine hells of CrossFit.
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Knocking on the door of 80 days (today is 79) so I thought it would be a good time to update since my last post in my thread was at day 53.
My quit is kicking ass. In fact, I can't believe how well it has gone. Looking back, the only really tough things that I went through were some insomnia issues and some anxiety issues. Once the insomnia went away for the most part the anxiety seemed to kind of fix itself. Only one major crave and I can't remember even having the small, fleeting mini-craves in the last month or so.
As the HOF approaches and with the reflection and self-examination that I have done over the past 79 days or so, I think that what I take from my quit is that I was so completely ready to be done that it in reality it has been relatively easy. The insomnia and anxiety were short-lived in the grand scheme and rather than major issues they were merely inconveniences on the path of quit. I truly believe that the ease with which you quit is directly related to how ready you are to be really and truly quit forever. And I had been using two and a half decades and was up to three cans per day. But I was extremely ready to be quit on Day 1. I hated dip and had hated it for months if not years. I was anxious about quitting because I was afraid that I would fail (yet again) but not because I was worried about missing dip. I don't miss it. I don't miss the cost, the side effects, the smell, the taste, or anything else. I'm so damn glad that I am quit. I get up everyday and I'm so thankful and happy that I am quit and I know that there is absolutely no way in hell that I will dip that day under any circumstances.
Still no Diet Coke (or soda of any kind) for about a month and a half.
Been working a Paleo-ish diet and I actually feel better than I have felt in years (I pretty much do Paleo but I have been allowing a small amount of organic dairy every day).
Still doing CrossFit. Getting stronger, leaner, and in great shape.
So at forty-one and a half years old I feel better physically and feel better about myself mentally and emotionally than I have in years. Just think - the catalyst happened exactly 79 days ago.
Thanks KTC!
Great stuff, damn proud to quit with you, and to continue our torture updates/support over in the exercise forum!
I also want to agree with you on the fact I wanted to quit so damn bad, I was almost relieved that this place makes me keep my word. I welcome it. Anytime i get a little lazy in my quit, I remember how much I hated being a slave, and how grateful I am for my freedom.
again great stuff.
Proud to be quit with you too Luby and I'm enjoying the progression through the nine hells of CrossFit.
Great work.
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Short post as I sit at 95 and can't believe that I'm just a few short days away from 100. Feels great. If you are new...stick with it. If you are mid-term...stick with it. A still dipping buddy asked me the other day if I would stay quit if I found out that I had cancer from my years of dipping and that I would likely not make it. Being a 26 year slave I had long since contemplated that question and I immediately and unequivocally answered "hell, yes". Being free is such a great feeling. So you new guys and those in the 40s to 60s that think it is never going to end - stick with it. Freedom from the can is worth every 24 hours that you promise not to be a douche bag.
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Way to go bud. You're killing it. Truly.
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Short post as I sit at 95 and can't believe that I'm just a few short days away from 100. Feels great. If you are new...stick with it. If you are mid-term...stick with it. A still dipping buddy asked me the other day if I would stay quit if I found out that I had cancer from my years of dipping and that I would likely not make it. Being a 26 year slave I had long since contemplated that question and I immediately and unequivocally answered "hell, yes". Being free is such a great feeling. So you new guys and those in the 40s to 60s that think it is never going to end - stick with it. Freedom from the can is worth every 24 hours that you promise not to be a douche bag.
Solid work, counselor. Freedom IS a great thing.
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Short post as I sit at 95 and can't believe that I'm just a few short days away from 100. Feels great. If you are new...stick with it. If you are mid-term...stick with it. A still dipping buddy asked me the other day if I would stay quit if I found out that I had cancer from my years of dipping and that I would likely not make it. Being a 26 year slave I had long since contemplated that question and I immediately and unequivocally answered "hell, yes". Being free is such a great feeling. So you new guys and those in the 40s to 60s that think it is never going to end - stick with it. Freedom from the can is worth every 24 hours that you promise not to be a douche bag.
Solid work, counselor. Freedom IS a great thing.
:)
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Day 98. Nervousness sets in. Read more posts, pre HOF groups, intros, etc. in the last week than in the past four to six weeks. Can't believe that I have been quit for 14 weeks.
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Day 98. Nervousness sets in. Read more posts, pre HOF groups, intros, etc. in the last week than in the past four to six weeks. Can't believe that I have been quit for 14 weeks.
Believe that shit brother. Outstanding stuff. Glad you're here bud.
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Day 98. Nervousness sets in. Read more posts, pre HOF groups, intros, etc. in the last week than in the past four to six weeks. Can't believe that I have been quit for 14 weeks.
Believe that shit brother. Outstanding stuff. Glad you're here bud.
You got this!
Passing one milestone of being free of the nic bitch!
I dont know you but am proud to be quit with you today and everyday!