KillTheCan.org Accountability Forum
Community => Introductions => Topic started by: iquitchewing on January 20, 2013, 01:50:00 PM
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My handle here is iquitchewing. Today Jan 20, I am 26 days quit. This will be the 3rd time I'm trying to do an introductory posting here. I posted day 1 on Dec 26 and am in the strong and determined April group. KTC has enabled my quit after 53 years of tobacco use, both chewing and smoking. I have spent time in chat room when I needed group support. I hope that anyone who wants to know more about me, or who wants to give me comments or support, can do so here. I will add to this post from time to time as it seems others do.
I'm 67 years of age, very happy with life (95 per cent of the time) and grateful (99.9 percent of the time). I've a wife for 45 years, 7 adult children, their 7 significant others, and 8 grandchildren so far. We all live within 20 miles of each other east of Pittsburgh PA. I started chewing when 14 yrs old, with our school "rub club". Snuff and cigarettes (mostly hand rolled Buglers) have kept me company throughout life untill I quit smoking tobacco at the end of November, and quit chewing December 26th.
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My handle here is iquitchewing. Today Jan 22, I am 26 days quit. This will be the 3rd time I'm trying to do an introductory posting here. I posted day 1 on Dec 26 and am in the strong and determined April group. KTC has enabled my quit after 53 years of tobacco use, both chewing and smoking. I have spent time in chat room when I needed group support. I hope that anyone who wants to know more about me, or who wants to give me comments or support, can do so here. I will add to this post from time to time as it seems others do.
I'm 67 years of age, very happy with life (95 per cent of the time) and grateful (99.9 percent of the time). I've a wife for 45 years, 7 adult children, their 7 significant others, and 8 grandchildren so far. We all live within 20 miles of each other east of Pittsburgh PA. I started chewing when 14 yrs old, with our school "rub club". Snuff and cigarettes (mostly hand rolled Buglers) have kept me company throughout life untill I quit smoking tobacco at the end of November, and quit chewing December 26th.
Welcome old man. Glad you found the place. Pull up a chair and get good and comfy. 53 is a long time to be a slave...what say we finish this thing up clean eh?
No nic for LOOT...no nic for you.
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Welcome iquitchewing,
Get ready for "the suck" but this team is strong and staying quit. We are glad to have you part of us.
Sage
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Welcome.
I suspect you have no idea how much better things will be when you are quit.
I understand.
You can do this.
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Welcome.
I suspect you have no idea how much better things will be when you are quit.
I understand.
You can do this.
I am glad to be quit today. I feel good about being 27 days quit today. I can't say that it is easy, it is not easy. I know that I will be able to feel physically and mentally better as I get more time quit. I am curious to see3 how it feels. It is good not to have to act out the compulsive routines that accompanied my chewing - but it feels uncomfortably different too, in a way. I know quit is good. I do not think I would have done 27 days without my kill the can friends and comrades. I would have talked myself into the idea that a little bit can't hurt. A little bit would be a cave. I don't want to be a pussy. One day at a time does it for me today. How did tobacco ever seem such a good friend for so many years?
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IQC I'm honestly proud to be quit with you today. Your quit after so many years is the same as every other quitter out there. We all have the same addiction that has been part of our lives. One difference that you and I and a few other quitters have is those grandkids to live for daily. My grand kids are just 1/4 mile away and I get to spend most days with them. I'm so glad I don't have to find answers for my 5 year old grandson when he asked what I was eating. Pm me if you need anything.
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My handle here is iquitchewing. Today Jan 20, I am 26 days quit. This will be the 3rd time I'm trying to do an introductory posting here. I posted day 1 on Dec 26 and am in the strong and determined April group. KTC has enabled my quit after 53 years of tobacco use, both chewing and smoking. I have spent time in chat room when I needed group support. I hope that anyone who wants to know more about me, or who wants to give me comments or support, can do so here. I will add to this post from time to time as it seems others do.
I'm 67 years of age, very happy with life (95 per cent of the time) and grateful (99.9 percent of the time). I've a wife for 45 years, 7 adult children, their 7 significant others, and 8 grandchildren so far. We all live within 20 miles of each other east of Pittsburgh PA. I started chewing when 14 yrs old, with our school "rub club". Snuff and cigarettes (mostly hand rolled Buglers) have kept me company throughout life untill I quit smoking tobacco at the end of November, and quit chewing December 26th.
Todaay is day 33. Thank you who have given my support in many ways. For some reason (I thought hunger, but does not seem so) My craving feels nastier today than most of the time. Two nights ago I watched the movie Titanic for the second time. An analoogy occured to me as I was posting to and reading the posts within my April 13 group.
The ship is going down with all of nicotine addicts in the water, or sliding down the decks as the ship goes up 90 degrees and down. Many have died already. Since hitting the iceburg, lifeboats have been available, and lowered regularly. There has been extra room on most of lifeboats when they were launched, but many passengers were not able to leave everything behind and go over the side into filling the boats.
Some of us who hope to survive got into lifeboats which were named for all the months of the year. . April is this boat I'm in now and a bunch of us survivors are in this vessel together. May has begun loading above. We here are strong and will make it through this ordeal together. A collective effort. We will do what we need to do to live free, and are glad to not be alone in our boats.
That analogy is clearly pretty sappy, but is what went through my mind when I posted today, and I will put this up before I'm too embarassed to post it.
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My handle here is iquitchewing. Today Jan 20, I am 26 days quit. This will be the 3rd time I'm trying to do an introductory posting here.  I posted day 1 on Dec 26 and am in the strong and determined April group. KTC has enabled my quit after 53 years of tobacco use, both chewing and smoking. I have spent time in chat room when I needed group support. I hope that anyone who wants to know more about me, or who wants to give me comments or support, can do so here. I will add to this post from time to time as it seems others do.
I'm 67 years of age, very happy with life (95 per cent of the time) and grateful (99.9 percent of the time). I've a wife for 45 years, 7 adult children, their 7 significant others, and 8 grandchildren so far. We all live within 20 miles of each other east of Pittsburgh PA. I started chewing when 14 yrs old, with our school "rub club". Snuff and cigarettes (mostly hand rolled Buglers) have kept me company throughout life untill I quit smoking tobacco at the end of November, and quit chewing December 26th.
Todaay is day 33. Thank you who have given my support in many ways. For some reason (I thought hunger, but does not seem so) My craving feels nastier today than most of the time. Two nights ago I watched the movie Titanic for the second time. An analoogy occured to me as I was posting to and reading the posts within my April 13 group.
The ship is going down with all of nicotine addicts in the water, or sliding down the decks as the ship goes up 90 degrees and down. Many have died already. Since hitting the iceburg, lifeboats have been available, and lowered regularly. There has been extra room on most of lifeboats when they were launched, but many passengers were not able to leave everything behind and go over the side into filling the boats.
Some of us who hope to survive got into lifeboats which were named for all the months of the year. . April is this boat I'm in now and a bunch of us survivors are in this vessel together. May has begun loading above. We here are strong and will make it through this ordeal together. A collective effort. We will do what we need to do to live free, and are glad to not be alone in our boats.
That analogy is clearly pretty sappy, but is what went through my mind when I posted today, and I will put this up before I'm too embarassed to post it.
'worship' i loved it thank you.
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My handle here is iquitchewing. Today Jan 20, I am 26 days quit. This will be the 3rd time I'm trying to do an introductory posting here.  I posted day 1 on Dec 26 and am in the strong and determined April group. KTC has enabled my quit after 53 years of tobacco use, both chewing and smoking. I have spent time in chat room when I needed group support. I hope that anyone who wants to know more about me, or who wants to give me comments or support, can do so here. I will add to this post from time to time as it seems others do.
I'm 67 years of age, very happy with life (95 per cent of the time) and grateful (99.9 percent of the time). I've a wife for 45 years, 7 adult children, their 7 significant others, and 8 grandchildren so far. We all live within 20 miles of each other east of Pittsburgh PA. I started chewing when 14 yrs old, with our school "rub club". Snuff and cigarettes (mostly hand rolled Buglers) have kept me company throughout life untill I quit smoking tobacco at the end of November, and quit chewing December 26th.
Todaay is day 33. Thank you who have given my support in many ways. For some reason (I thought hunger, but does not seem so) My craving feels nastier today than most of the time. Two nights ago I watched the movie Titanic for the second time. An analoogy occured to me as I was posting to and reading the posts within my April 13 group.
The ship is going down with all of nicotine addicts in the water, or sliding down the decks as the ship goes up 90 degrees and down. Many have died already. Since hitting the iceburg, lifeboats have been available, and lowered regularly. There has been extra room on most of lifeboats when they were launched, but many passengers were not able to leave everything behind and go over the side into filling the boats.
Some of us who hope to survive got into lifeboats which were named for all the months of the year. . April is this boat I'm in now and a bunch of us survivors are in this vessel together. May has begun loading above. We here are strong and will make it through this ordeal together. A collective effort. We will do what we need to do to live free, and are glad to not be alone in our boats.
That analogy is clearly pretty sappy, but is what went through my mind when I posted today, and I will put this up before I'm too embarassed to post it.
'worship' i loved it thank you.
I wanted to say that today is day 50 and I am quit. Posting, chatting, reading, using suggestions, experiencing being quit.....all these are good. Please lets all keep up our support for each other. No one said this is easy, but it is certainly rewarding.
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Loving this quit my brother!! shocker
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There is some hardcore quitting going on here. I'm here if you need anything.
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Maybe it would be a good idea to string a bunch of stuff together in the reflections that seem pertinent to my quit.
One question I have not addressed and which several brothers (I include sisters in this term, like in the Bible - sexest though it may sound please laugh) is why AFTER 53 YEARS of smoking and chewing am I choosing to be quit. There have been lots of reasons to quit, but I never choose to quit before. Here is what I began writing a few minutes ago.
Yes I could cover reasons for my quit in a hoped for HOF, or better yet in my Introduction postings. Lots of reasons.
A singular event that triggered my quit was en encounter with an oral surgeon that I will describe here. I the course of trying to take care of my body last fall I had upper and lower GI scopes with many many biopsies. In July i had experienced significant bleeding somewhere in my upper GI tract and was too stupid to go to emergency. Several months later I was trying to figure out what bled and how to prevent reoccurance. I told this Dr of my long history of tobacco use, which is why he took so many biopsies. His findings on the upper and lower GI biopsies was NEGATIVE. He did spot a small doudenal ulcer and suggest prilasec. He suggested that I see an oral surgeon about some areas above the esophogus that looked involved.
It was when I went to for my oral examination by one of pittsburghs leading oral surgeons that I started to fret because I'd been thinking aobut possible bad findings, and I could'nt get enough chew into my mouth. The amount of my chews had been increasing significantly during this health adventure, and my smoking doubled too. It was like the bitch was sticking in her claws even more tightly. Anyhow, I did something I never did before,k I put in a chew just as I went into the examining room, and forgot it was in there until the oral surgeon came in to see me. I was embarrassed by my chew in mouth and told him how long I'd been doing tobacco. He asked me when I planned to quit. I looked up at the man, there was something in his face I think, that remembered the terrible disfigurements he had addressed in his career. I found myself answering. Maybe I'll quit after meeting you. This was in early November. He examined me, and scheduled me for a bit of surgery with general anesthesia. The nurse told me that following anesthesia was a good time to cease smoking, so I had my last cigarette the night before the surgery, threw out and watered down all my cigaretts and tobacco for rolling (I did bugler non filter home rolled.) During the surgery he trimmed my oversized uvula and checked out stuff around my epiglotis that had raised questions during my upper GI scoping.
There was NOTHING wrong in my mouth or throat either.
I decided that for me to keep chewing would be like spitting in God's face.
I planned a time to go through the quit from chewing after Christmas so I wouldn't be to hard to get along with for our large family (7adult children, 8 grandchildren, signifacant others including my wife of 45 years).
Another big reason for quitting was wanting to find out what my brain (and rest of my body) feels like without nicotine. It is speculated that if we allow ourselves an addiction, parts of our emotional and social growth is intertwined with the addiction and addictive substance. Some parts of us are frozed at the age where we acquire the addiction. (What would my mind and perception be like without the addiction (not only physical, but the pervasive habit that can surprise me with craves at unexpected moments.
I'll continue to review the reasons that occured to me for quitting. Some reasons for quitting are just starting to occur to me now, or are being revealed by the posts of my KTC brothers. Stuff I experienced but had not realized until someone else put it into words. Thanks again to my fellow quitters. It helps my quit too hope that maybe something I tell about might help someone else too.
Something else on my 70th day. Sometimes when I'm craving I just think to myself "I'm too old for that shit!" Other craves call for other tactics. It is getting better every week, today I noticed that my chewing fake snuff has become less of a constant. Sometimes it is actually in another room and not in a pocker. That did not happen with tobacco. For the first few weeks I kept feeling at my pockets for where the snuff had been for so many years. I know the nicotine nightmare is stealthy and will try to own part of my soul, deliver me from tobacco!!!
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Maybe it would be a good idea to string a bunch of stuff together in the reflections that seem pertinent to my quit.
One question I have not addressed and which several brothers (I include sisters in this term, like in the Bible - sexest though it may sound please laugh) is why AFTER 53 YEARS of smoking and chewing am I choosing to be quit. There have been lots of reasons to quit, but I never choose to quit before. Here is what I began writing a few minutes ago.
Yes I could cover reasons for my quit in a hoped for HOF, or better yet in my Introduction postings. Lots of reasons.
A singular event that triggered my quit was en encounter with an oral surgeon that I will describe here. I the course of trying to take care of my body last fall I had upper and lower GI scopes with many many biopsies. In July i had experienced significant bleeding somewhere in my upper GI tract and was too stupid to go to emergency. Several months later I was trying to figure out what bled and how to prevent reoccurance. I told this Dr of my long history of tobacco use, which is why he took so many biopsies. His findings on the upper and lower GI biopsies was NEGATIVE. He did spot a small doudenal ulcer and suggest prilasec. He suggested that I see an oral surgeon about some areas above the esophogus that looked involved.
It was when I went to for my oral examination by one of pittsburghs leading oral surgeons that I started to fret because I'd been thinking aobut possible bad findings, and I could'nt get enough chew into my mouth. The amount of my chews had been increasing significantly during this health adventure, and my smoking doubled too. It was like the bitch was sticking in her claws even more tightly. Anyhow, I did something I never did before,k I put in a chew just as I went into the examining room, and forgot it was in there until the oral surgeon came in to see me. I was embarrassed by my chew in mouth and told him how long I'd been doing tobacco. He asked me when I planned to quit. I looked up at the man, there was something in his face I think, that remembered the terrible disfigurements he had addressed in his career. I found myself answering. Maybe I'll quit after meeting you. This was in early November. He examined me, and scheduled me for a bit of surgery with general anesthesia. The nurse told me that following anesthesia was a good time to cease smoking, so I had my last cigarette the night before the surgery, threw out and watered down all my cigaretts and tobacco for rolling (I did bugler non filter home rolled.) During the surgery he trimmed my oversized uvula and checked out stuff around my epiglotis that had raised questions during my upper GI scoping.
There was NOTHING wrong in my mouth or throat either.
I decided that for me to keep chewing would be like spitting in God's face.
I planned a time to go through the quit from chewing after Christmas so I wouldn't be to hard to get along with for our large family (7adult children, 8 grandchildren, signifacant others including my wife of 45 years).
Another big reason for quitting was wanting to find out what my brain (and rest of my body) feels like without nicotine. It is speculated that if we allow ourselves an addiction, parts of our emotional and social growth is intertwined with the addiction and addictive substance. Some parts of us are frozed at the age where we acquire the addiction. (What would my mind and perception be like without the addiction (not only physical, but the pervasive habit that can surprise me with craves at unexpected moments.
I'll continue to review the reasons that occured to me for quitting. Some reasons for quitting are just starting to occur to me now, or are being revealed by the posts of my KTC brothers. Stuff I experienced but had not realized until someone else put it into words. Thanks again to my fellow quitters. It helps my quit too hope that maybe something I tell about might help someone else too.
Something else on my 70th day. Sometimes when I'm craving I just think to myself "I'm too old for that shit!" Other craves call for other tactics. It is getting better every week, today I noticed that my chewing fake snuff has become less of a constant. Sometimes it is actually in another room and not in a pocker. That did not happen with tobacco. For the first few weeks I kept feeling at my pockets for where the snuff had been for so many years. I know the nicotine nightmare is stealthy and will try to own part of my soul, deliver me from tobacco!!!
Wow that is an amazing story. 53 years is one hell of a long time and consider yourself one of the lucky ones who never developed cancer or other serious side effects. You know, your quit is a real inspiration not just because you decided to quit at the ripe ol' age of 70 but also because you just simply decided to and still haven't realized all the reasons yet.
It was interesting when you mentioned addiction being intertwined with our emotional and social growth and part of ourselves being frozen at the time when we first became an addict. I remember very vividly the first time a dipped was in the spring of 1991 after sophomore baseball practiceÂ….Skoal mint (made me sick as hell!)Â….but I probably became a full-fledged addict in late 1992. Well I always remember this time from 1989-1992, especially 1992, as one of the best times of my life. There were some very real reasons why I think this one of the best times that has nothing to do with dip (probably more alcohol, parties, and girls) but still an interesting concept.
In any case good for you and your story certainly inspires me. Glad to quit with you my friend.
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So a little more about my quitting while thinking about how, after quitting cigarettes, I wanted to quit chew, but knew that chew would be harder to give up than smoking. I was only up to about 22 hand rolled filterless cigarettes per day, but except when smoking, eating, and night time sleep, I had a chew in all the time. I had figured that wait ing till after Christmas would help me and my family to not have me in withdrawel during all the family celebrations etc. So Christmas night, about 11:30 PM I put in what planned to be my last chew. I was going to
do a ritual with a goodly quantity of cans of snuff around the house, unopened. I knew I needed to dump it out and ruin it in the garbage, but first - - I needed to find out what to do after I took that last chew out of my mouth...I did not know if I would make it to bed without caving that night.
I went online, and searched "quit chewing snuff online support group". Went to killthecan, took a quick look around and joined. I looked around some more, was trying to figure what was up here, and went directly to chat. That is where I encountered some guys who were bullshitting in a somewhat vulgar fashion, who completed their exchange then turned their attention toward this hopeful quitter to be.
Three of us struggled to get it through my thick head that I really was unwelcome and breaking rules by being in chat while I still had "my last chew?" in my mouth. I had planned to have some kind of ritual before I went to bed, like I did with my last cigarette a month before.
These guys, eventually only one was still hanging in the chat room with me at about 12:10 AM Dec 26 persuaded me to spit out my chew, which I did and dumped out my remaining snuffj ( that was nearby) then I got back online, said something about that being ritual enough, and have been quit since then.
St Patricks day thoughts.....
day 82
I explained to my wife that being on site on kill the can sometimes for a couple of hours at a time is what keeps me from tallking to her and others all the time about my quit. Its like going to lunch with a person newly on a diet who talks about food all through the meal. No one else except my brothers here want to hear about my craves and how I feel.
I also am expecting to continue observing changes in my thoughts and sensations and emotions etc for a couple of years, since some suggest that my emotional and social growth has been stunted by tobacco addiction since I was 14. Finding out more about who I may be is part of my goal in bing quit.
Today I was thinking that I am probobly always going to crave nicotine some because there were times earlier on when it really seemed enjoyable to me. Now that I've read on this site and other places about the chemistry and biology and neurology of nicotine addiction I can understand how my fix gave me pleasure. Its not worth it and the fun was all gone, just a bit self disgust at still using snuff and cigarettes, and wondering about continuing to hurt myself with those.
Therefore I really don't expect all the craving to go away. I do expect to feel "clean" I do expect to build habits of knocking down the craves when they arise. There are quite a few things that would feel good that I choose not to do. I do know that if I were to cave, and I will not today, I would not enjoy it. I do enjoy writing down these thoughts on one of the hardest things we'll ever do...they weren't kidding.
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So a little more about my quitting while thinking about how, after quitting cigarettes, I wanted to quit chew, but knew that chew would be harder to give up than smoking. I was only up to about 22 hand rolled filterless cigarettes per day, but except when smoking, eating, and night time sleep, I had a chew in all the time. I had figured that wait ing till after Christmas would help me and my family to not have me in withdrawel during all the family celebrations etc. So Christmas night, about 11:30 PM I put in what planned to be my last chew. I was going to
do a ritual with a goodly quantity of cans of snuff around the house, unopened. I knew I needed to dump it out and ruin it in the garbage, but first - - I needed to find out what to do after I took that last chew out of my mouth...I did not know if I would make it to bed without caving that night.
I went online, and searched "quit chewing snuff online support group". Went to killthecan, took a quick look around and joined. I looked around some more, was trying to figure what was up here, and went directly to chat. That is where I encountered some guys who were bullshitting in a somewhat vulgar fashion, who completed their exchange then turned their exhaoused Christmas night 12 PM minds toward this hopeful quitter to be......... more to come to this story.
Have I had too much to drink or have you?
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So a little more about my quitting while thinking about how, after quitting cigarettes, I wanted to quit chew, but knew that chew would be harder to give up than smoking. I was only up to about 22 hand rolled filterless cigarettes per day, but except when smoking, eating, and night time sleep, I had a chew in all the time. I had figured that wait ing till after Christmas would help me and my family to not have me in withdrawel during all the family celebrations etc. So Christmas night, about 11:30 PM I put in what planned to be my last chew. I was going to
do a ritual with a goodly quantity of cans of snuff around the house, unopened. I knew I needed to dump it out and ruin it in the garbage, but first - - I needed to find out what to do after I took that last chew out of my mouth...I did not know if I would make it to bed without caving that night.
I went online, and searched "quit chewing snuff online support group". Went to killthecan, took a quick look around and joined. I looked around some more, was trying to figure what was up here, and went directly to chat. That is where I encountered some guys who were bullshitting in a somewhat vulgar fashion, who completed their exchange then turned their attention toward this hopeful quitter to be.
Three of us struggled to get it through my thick head that I really was unwelcome and breaking rules by being in chat while I still had "my last chew?" in my mouth. I had planned to have some kind of ritual before I went to bed, like I did with my last cigarette a month before.
These guys, eventually only one was still hanging in the chat room with me at about 12:10 AM Dec 26 persuaded me to spit out my chew, which I did and dumped out my remaining snuffj ( that was nearby) then I got back online, said something about that being ritual enough, and have been quit since then.
St Patricks day thoughts.....
day 82
I explained to my wife that being on site on kill the can sometimes for a couple of hours at a time is what keeps me from tallking to her and others all the time about my quit. Its like going to lunch with a person newly on a diet who talks about food all through the meal. No one else except my brothers here want to hear about my craves and how I feel.
I also am expecting to continue observing changes in my thoughts and sensations and emotions etc for a couple of years, since some suggest that my emotional and social growth has been stunted by tobacco addiction since I was 14. Finding out more about who I may be is part of my goal in bing quit.
Today I was thinking that I am probobly always going to crave nicotine some because there were times earlier on when it really seemed enjoyable to me. Now that I've read on this site and other places about the chemistry and biology and neurology of nicotine addiction I can understand how my fix gave me pleasure. Its not worth it and the fun was all gone, just a bit self disgust at still using snuff and cigarettes, and wondering about continuing to hurt myself with those.
Therefore I really don't expect all the craving to go away. I do expect to feel "clean" I do expect to build habits of knocking down the craves when they arise. There are quite a few things that would feel good that I choose not to do. I do know that if I were to cave, and I will not today, I would not enjoy it. I do enjoy writing down these thoughts on one of the hardest things we'll ever do...they weren't kidding.
So I hope I am using this Introduction area of the forum appropriately, keeping notes like this while I experience my being quit here with my brothers and sisters in killthecan.
Something else I started doing early on was keeping notes about changes as I notice them. I want to track behavioral and emotional change. I do this with the voice recorder in my smartphone.