KillTheCan.org Accountability Forum
Community => Introductions => Topic started by: Queen-T on June 07, 2016, 03:22:00 PM
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Today I feel more confident that I can do this, but every five minutes I find myself doubting my strength. It took me 13 years to get where I am today, and there is only one person in the world that knows "the real me." So, as I quit there is only that one person who gets what I'm going through.
When I was 16 my brothers told me that I can either put the dip in my lip, or they will do it for me, and needless to say- they did it for me, and I did it willingly every time after that. I really had no friends of my own so my brothers were the biggest influences on me; I was diagnosed with PTSD when I was 14, and I have struggled with addictions of various substances as I tried to cope with the anxiety I had from my trauma.
All of the substances I used as coping mechanisms were used in secret. I started drinking when I was 14, smoking pot when I was 15, dipping when I was 16, and I started taking benzodiazepines when I was 17. I am a control freak who accidentally gave all of my control over to substance abuse...more so, I worked labor on a ranch, so none of this was looked down upon and I wasn't the only only one. I am almost 30 now and I have kicked every bad habit but the dip, I guess this was the one that comforted me the most, and I never thought that it would be the hardest to give up.
I stopped everything else cold turkey, and I have been through hell and back with physical withdrawals in the past. However, I'm on day 4 of my last quit ever, and the mind games are screwing me up more than anything has before. I know how to use my resources, and the funny part is that I am in school to become a social worker what specializes in addiction- I feel like a fraud, but I keep reminding myself that I have done this before, I have taken down alcohol, drugs, and benzos and I never looked back...I will not allow this to conquer me, I will not be a slave to addiction any more.
And yes, I am a woman...disfunction doesn't discriminate
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Today I feel more confident that I can do this, but every five minutes I find myself doubting my strength. It took me 13 years to get where I am today, and there is only one person in the world that knows "the real me." So, as I quit there is only that one person who gets what I'm going through.
When I was 16 my brothers told me that I can either put the dip in my lip, or they will do it for me, and needless to say- they did it for me, and I did it willingly every time after that. I really had no friends of my own so my brothers were the biggest influences on me; I was diagnosed with PTSD when I was 14, and I have struggled with addictions of various substances as I tried to cope with the anxiety I had from my trauma.
All of the substances I used as coping mechanisms were used in secret. I started drinking when I was 14, smoking pot when I was 15, dipping when I was 16, and I started taking benzodiazepines when I was 17. I am a control freak who accidentally gave all of my control over to substance abuse...more so, I worked labor on a ranch, so none of this was looked down upon and I wasn't the only only one. I am almost 30 now and I have kicked every bad habit but the dip, I guess this was the one that comforted me the most, and I never thought that it would be the hardest to give up.
I stopped everything else cold turkey, and I have been through hell and back with physical withdrawals in the past. However, I'm on day 4 of my last quit ever, and the mind games are screwing me up more than anything has before. I know how to use my resources, and the funny part is that I am in school to become a social worker what specializes in addiction- I feel like a fraud, but I keep reminding myself that I have done this before, I have taken down alcohol, drugs, and benzos and I never looked back...I will not allow this to conquer me, I will not be a slave to addiction any more.
And yes, I am a woman...disfunction doesn't discriminate
Welcome Queen-T tons of female quitters here! Glad to see you on roll! Your taking a huge first step!
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You can do this just like you did the others Queen. ODAAT (One day at a time). Just get through today, in whatever way you know how. Wake up and repeat. It seems silly right now, but eventually it becomes second nature and you stop worrying about whether you can do it for a year or ten years. My only battle is with today.
Congratulations on taking your life back. It will be so worth it.
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Thanks guys, I made it to the gym today and I am meeting a friend there again this evening. My attitude has switched more into a "f*** this" perspective- I want time to go by faster so I can get this over with, but every hour feels like a week! I nearly broke last night, but I made a promise to all of you and to my man, and I'm not one to break a promise
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Hi Queen! Just wanted to say Welcome. It's good that you landed here... Hang in there and like everything else, get some days under your belt and things will start to improve.. For me I chew A LOT of gum and that seems to help me with the craves... Anyway, you are doing the right thing!!
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Hi Queen! Just wanted to say Welcome. It's good that you landed here... Hang in there and like everything else, get some days under your belt and things will start to improve.. For me I chew A LOT of gum and that seems to help me with the craves... Anyway, you are doing the right thing!!
Keep it up. You are doing great. Drink tons of water, this helps. Drink some fruit juice. It is a tough battle, I know. It does get better and the gym and lots of water makes it better, better. Dive into the site. Occupy your time and keep your brain busy. Ignore the jaw and tooth pain. It. Will. Pass. If you can afford it, get to a doctor and tell him/her what you are doing. Make sure he knows No Nicotine at all. He might try to tell you the patch or gum. Proud of you and what you have gone through (even though I don't know you).
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Thanks guys, I made it to the gym today and I am meeting a friend there again this evening. My attitude has switched more into a "f*** this" perspective- I want time to go by faster so I can get this over with, but every hour feels like a week! I nearly broke last night, but I made a promise to all of you and to my man, and I'm not one to break a promise
You didn't break, I remember being on the verge of loosing all i worked for, but remembered that I had posted roll that morning and of all the guys and gals who helped me to that point. I never want to let them down and never want another day 1.
Quit with you Queen!
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Hey girl! Congrats on the quit! Sounds like you are kick ass in everything else you've quit, so I'm POSITIVE you will be kick ass in quitting dip! Keep posting ODAAT and make friends here because we will all be here when you want to punch someone/something or you need someone to understand what you're going through. pm me anytime... I love to see badass chicks quitting! Xoxo
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Hey girl! Congrats on the quit! Sounds like you are kick ass in everything else you've quit, so I'm POSITIVE you will be kick ass in quitting dip! Keep posting ODAAT and make friends here because we will all be here when you want to punch someone/something or you need someone to understand what you're going through. pm me anytime... I love to see badass chicks quitting! Xoxo
The ladies are few in number but strong in fight and spirit. You will do fine here. Just post roll and be a "man" of your word. ;)
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Hey girl! Congrats on the quit! Sounds like you are kick ass in everything else you've quit, so I'm POSITIVE you will be kick ass in quitting dip! Keep posting ODAAT and make friends here because we will all be here when you want to punch someone/something or you need someone to understand what you're going through. pm me anytime... I love to see badass chicks quitting! Xoxo
The ladies are few in number but strong in fight and spirit. You will do fine here. Just post roll and be a "man" of your word. ;)
You'll do very well with this system Queen. You know how I know? You said it yourself: "I made a promise to all of you and to my man, and I'm not one to break a promise."
Anyone with a shred of integrity, who surrounds him/herself with support from others going through the same hell that is nicotine withdrawal and associated mind-games that goes with it, who engages their quit group on a regular basis, gets to know them and trades numbers with them and shares in the collective suck; those are the people that have what it takes to quit. You are one of them.
Proud to be a quitter with you any day of the week. There's a fair number of other females on this site so you are more than welcome (I personally think they help keep down some of the bullshit that would otherwise be spewed on these pages). :D
Welcome, buckle up cause it's gonna be a bumpy ride for awhile!
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Quit with you today Queen T
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Bad ass 1 week Today!!
Way to quit hard girl.
Make sure you have a plan and all your tools at hand for this weekend.
Text me anytime.
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Hmmm. I foresee a great quitter coming. You have had the strength to beat addiction after addiction. Nic didn't help you do that. Nic didn't comfort you. That bitch sat there saying "Yes, come closer to me." Kick her in the tits and get rolling. I expect good things from you, young samurai.
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Welcome Sister the quit. I'm proud of you and I'm here for you. Take it one day at a time.
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Female too, day 1 for me. Here we go :)
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Female too, day 1 for me. Here we go :)
I'm day 10 today! It was anything but easy but it feels amazing to be free from that shit. Post roll everyday, make a promise to be nicotine free for the day, and drink a ton of water. I stocked up on hard candies and jerky, I suggest you do the same. You can do it!
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Double digits!!!
Congrats Queen. Work is horrendous in Mondays, so im a bit late, but im quittin with you!!
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Double digits!!!
Congrats Queen. Work is horrendous in Mondays, so im a bit late, but im quittin with you!!
ChickDip is one BAQ so don't let her down! :)
Male or female we are all in this together. 10 days is awesome! I quit with you today!
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Hmm yes. Double digit time. That's when it started getting really hard for me. You can do this. I said in the dojo, you are going to be a great quitter. Don't make a liar out of me.
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Hmm yes. Double digit time. That's when it started getting really hard for me. You can do this. I said in the dojo, you are going to be a great quitter. Don't make a liar out of me.
Today is day 21... I can't believe it's been 3 weeks already! The last few days have been a breeze, I haven't even thought about it much during the day, but I can tell that my brain thinks about it while I'm sleeping. I wake up with sore cheeks from unconsciously biting them all night, and I can't seem to sleep in a position that doesn't kill my back in the morning. However, I am so proud of myself and what I have accomplished so far, and how serious I am about keeping this momentum for the future. Thanks to everyone that's been by my side.
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Hmm yes. Double digit time. That's when it started getting really hard for me. You can do this. I said in the dojo, you are going to be a great quitter. Don't make a liar out of me.
Today is day 21... I can't believe it's been 3 weeks already! The last few days have been a breeze, I haven't even thought about it much during the day, but I can tell that my brain thinks about it while I'm sleeping. I wake up with sore cheeks from unconsciously biting them all night, and I can't seem to sleep in a position that doesn't kill my back in the morning. However, I am so proud of myself and what I have accomplished so far, and how serious I am about keeping this momentum for the future. Thanks to everyone that's been by my side.
One day at a time. There will be some rough days ahead but if you've built up a web of support here you can get through them. Quitting here is really basic - make a promise and keep your promise. You're doing great Queen-T! :)
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Hmm yes. Double digit time. That's when it started getting really hard for me. You can do this. I said in the dojo, you are going to be a great quitter. Don't make a liar out of me.
Today is day 21... I can't believe it's been 3 weeks already! The last few days have been a breeze, I haven't even thought about it much during the day, but I can tell that my brain thinks about it while I'm sleeping. I wake up with sore cheeks from unconsciously biting them all night, and I can't seem to sleep in a position that doesn't kill my back in the morning. However, I am so proud of myself and what I have accomplished so far, and how serious I am about keeping this momentum for the future. Thanks to everyone that's been by my side.
One day at a time. There will be some rough days ahead but if you've built up a web of support here you can get through them. Quitting here is really basic - make a promise and keep your promise. You're doing great Queen-T! :)
What he said. You have done amazing so far. The battle is far from over but you are winning it every day. You got it. Text if you need to. Get on the Groupme. Keep your bad ass quit on.
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Hmm yes. Double digit time. That's when it started getting really hard for me. You can do this. I said in the dojo, you are going to be a great quitter. Don't make a liar out of me.
Today is day 21... I can't believe it's been 3 weeks already! The last few days have been a breeze, I haven't even thought about it much during the day, but I can tell that my brain thinks about it while I'm sleeping. I wake up with sore cheeks from unconsciously biting them all night, and I can't seem to sleep in a position that doesn't kill my back in the morning. However, I am so proud of myself and what I have accomplished so far, and how serious I am about keeping this momentum for the future. Thanks to everyone that's been by my side.
One day at a time. There will be some rough days ahead but if you've built up a web of support here you can get through them. Quitting here is really basic - make a promise and keep your promise. You're doing great Queen-T! :)
What he said. You have done amazing so far. The battle is far from over but you are winning it every day. You got it. Text if you need to. Get on the Groupme. Keep your bad ass quit on.
Keep it going Queen. It won't always be easy, but as long as you keep the battle going ODAAT, you won't fail. That's because NOTHING that could possibly happen to you today will be made one iota better by throwing in the towel and resorting to poisoning yourself.
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Queen, congrats on your 100 days.
Way to slay the quit.
I'll see you on roll tomorrow!
Quit Like A Girl. That's Badass.
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Queen, congrats on your 100 days.
Way to slay the quit.
I'll see you on roll tomorrow!
Quit Like A Girl. That's Badass.
Congrats Queen on reaching HOF! Thank you for supporting my quit, and I'm looking forward to continue this battle alongside you EDD!!
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Great job! Proud to be quit with you. Keep it paid forward!