KillTheCan.org Accountability Forum

Day 302

I’ve got a hard story to share. It shows just how deep addiction can go—and how it affects not just us, but the people we love most.

Last year, I quit drinking a few days before I quit nicotine. For years, alcohol was my main coping mechanism. I vividly remember one night taking a 9-1-1 call from a distraught mother who had fallen asleep on her child. The baby didn’t survive—suffocated while she was just trying to get some rest. The very next night, I took another call for an infant death.

I came home that morning and drank until I almost threw up, then passed out. That became the pattern—any time I drank, my goal was to black out.

Fast forward to this past Sunday. We were visiting my parents, and our teenage daughter—who’s been struggling with substance use—stole a bottle of liquor from them. She doesn’t have access at our house since I’m sober and my wife doesn’t drink. On top of that, she took my wife’s prescription Valium.

That night, she took two 10mg Valium and drank half the bottle. She’s 16 years old. That combination could have seriously harmed or even killed her.

She’s now going to rehab. The hard part is that we’re making her go. Will it open her eyes? Will it be the moment that helps her choose a different path? I don’t know. All I can do is try to guide her toward help.

I feel like I’ve failed as a father, and “heartbroken” doesn’t even begin to cover it. But I do know this: I am sober, and I will remain committed to my nicotine and alcohol quit. No matter what happens, I’m staying true to both.