Just needed to write this down. Day 6 was going great. I was doing fine all day today and was having no issues besides the normal cravings. And then, around 10:30 the mind game started. The nic bitch started talking a little louder and a little louder, and then the battle royale began. I found myself pacing back and forth, yelling in the mirror at myself (or really at the nic bitch) telling her I don't need her. But in my head I could hear the voices planning a trip to a liquor store to grab some chew. Before I knew it I was putting my socks on and grabbing my keys. I heard her saying, "C'mon you can do it and continue posting, no one will know" but that wouldn't have been right. I made a promise to my brothers. I had already made it six days without, and I couldn't think of a good reason to actually dip other than I can just quit later.
Then I decided to go to bed, try to sleep through the craving. But I was tossing and turning, so I gave up on sleeping. Went back to watching tv, and I finally, around 12:30 made it through the panic attack of a crave. I was freaking out, but I made it through. My heart rate has slowed and I am a bit more relaxed and I'm not at risk for caving tonight.
For I am one more day quit. You will not win today nic bitch. Not today.