43 yrs old and been dipping for around 25yrs. Skoal fine cut - then long cut - then the last couple years Red Man LC Wintergreen (cause you know it's cheaper to kill yourself with the off brand). Was introduced to dipping with "Happy Days" - you old-timers will remember.
I've quit before, but wasn't committed I guess. 30 days here, six months there, but always seemed to get pissed off or frustrated at something and started again. "Hey, I'm pissed so I'll just excuse myself and start killing myself again"; and hiding it from my wife, etc.
I mean, letting the nicotine control how you live and interact with other people? Wanting to spend time with the nic bitch over your friends and family? Makes me wonder what I've done to my mind over 25 years.
My wife and I have been through some tough things, but thats no excuse. The buck stops with me, and in the past few weeks I've had this little voice saying, "Why not put it down?"
So last Wednesday night I did...poured out 3/4 of a can. I honestly don't know if I found this site before or after, I think it was Thursday when I was looking for some help I found it here. I'm going to need to be here for a long time.
Thank you all for being here.
And now to lighten the atmosphere, and for your reading pleasure - let me present
TOP TEN OBSERVATIONS OF RUNWHATUCAN ON DAY FIVE 'Popcorn'
10. Chewing nails and shittinÂ’ thumbtacks. Given the opportunity, I could be really mean.
9. Are you kidding me? Suddenly, nobody knows how to drive?
8. Coffee cupsÂ…actually containing coffee.
7. My brain is floating 3 feet above my head, and slightly behind me.
6. Tongue is no longer saturated with nicotine and smelling like ass.
5. Get sleepy at about 10:00 or 10:30pm, and actually going to sleep.
4. In three days my truck will be clean, cause thatÂ’s when IÂ’ll go looking for old cans.
3. I can either take a beating or give oneÂ…and I really donÂ’t care which.
2. Remember conversation with that dipper who was a close talker, and wondering if my breathÂ…well, YEAH, it probably was that bad.
1. Hey, I don’t need to spit before I talk to someone –COOL! Is this going to make me more SOCIAL?
.075 Guns donÂ’t kill peopleÂ… Hey, my top 10 has 12 observations! How messed up is that?
.05 It took me 25 years to make this decision, and IÂ’ll need to confront this addiction every day.