Greetings. I am 39, married, and have two young children. I am a partner in a large midwestern law firm, practicing in mostly bankruptcy and commercial litigation matters. I am on several community foundation and charitable boards. I am actively involved in the local bar association and several professional groups. I am an usher at my church. And, .... I am addicted to nicotine. Only about 20 people know this about me. I am really good at hiding my shameful little secret. I had my first "D" when I was 12. Started out with Cope, dipping with my friends to be cool. Took 4 years off in college to smoke because I was getting sores in my mouth. Got tired of coughing, and I like to run, so I went back to D, this time using Skoal Longcut WG as my delivery agent of choice. Other than a 1 month period in 1998, I have been a slave every day since then up until 9:16 PM CST on Thursday, May 26, 2011. My best friend and mistress up until this time was Wolf Green. No more. It must end and, with the Lord's strength and grace, my own sense of determination and perseverance and the help of this community, it will. No more grains of D in my keyboard, car and everywhere else in between. No more having my 3 year old come out on the porch while I'm having a D and imitating me spit into the bushes. No more bad breath and stained teeth. No more colleagues coming into my office and asking "what smells," and me playing dumb. No more spitters. No more brown stains on my fingertips. No more educating 1 out of 3 convenience store clerks where my brand of D is located in the racks. No more panic attacks when I realize I am down to 1/4th of a can and I'm not sure how I am going to find a reload. No more breaks during court hearings, sneaking into the bathroom stall to have a quickie. No more getting chewed out (understandably) by my wife for leaving my can out where the dog or the 3 year old can get it. No more. I want to be free. I have been lurking here for the past 3 months, planning my quit in detail. It finally became clear to me 3 months ago in the hospital as my brand new son was born that dip constitutes a direct threat to everything I care about on this Earth. Day 1 of the rest of my life begins tomorrow. I will post for the first time in my new quit group and give my word to my fellow quit brothers that today, I will not have a D no matter how bad I want one, no matter how bad the "suck" is killing me, no matter what, period. Thank you for your time and God Bless You.
