Made it through Day 4. Still having lots of cravings and/or anxiety at times, but the support and posts from others on this site has really helped. If things get really bad and I feel like caving in I just blow up and stare at the .gif image next to Kubrick's post and 'voila' dip cravings go away albeit momentarily. Not joking!
Anyways, when I posted initially on here the other day I mentioned I just quit the Cope unplanned last Thursday. Honestly, I had thought and/or tried to quit so many times over the last 20 years and failed I had pretty much given up all hope of success. So, on Thursday I'm driving by a major hospital in Florida and get caught at a long light near the main entrance. So I'm sitting there looking around and notice this relatively young person (maybe mid forties) standing out on the sidewalk in a patient's gown with a saline drip bag hooked up, blood pressure monitor on a rolling cart, god knows whatever else physically attached to them - standing there smoking. I mean, this person was standing a few feet from this major highway which has huge traffic volume going by and they're in a freaking backless hospital gown just to get some nic in their veins! I looked at this person's face and I felt very sad for them but also empathy because I knew what they must be going through emotionally. I hadn't been able to get my first dip of the day so I was jonesing for some nic myself. So I realized this is MADNESS, I'm no different from that sick person because if the shoe was on the other foot I'd be standing out there embarrassing myself to get my nicotine fix!
But then I got pissed and resolutely decided that wasn't going to be me. I came home, threw away my cans, dip cups, etc., and haven't looked back.
Sorry for the long story, but I thought others might find it interesting. Plus, I was able to pound a whole bag of Jack Link's while I typed away.
Great job on day 4!!!! Great story too.
Nic is such an addicting bastard. I get a kick out of people who into a gas station and order up a pack of smokes for $5.00 give the clerk $15 and tell them to put the rest on pump 5.
As if its not bad enough you only have $15 for gas but you have to dust a third of it off on smokes. The person always looks flustered and in a hurry too.
I cant talk though. As a master ninja I used to know the price of kodiak at every gas station in town. I used to round up my gas purchase with my debit card so my wife wouldn't get suspicious looking over the statement.
"Give me a can of kodiak wintergreen and $24.65 on pump 1"
The guy would look at me like I had a dick growing out of my forehead when I would ask for $24.65 in gas until he totaled it up and said, "$30 even please " with an "ah ha" look on his face.
I thought I was sooo cool tricking my poor wife and WASTING our money daily while she had no clue.
What a fucking idiot I WAS.
No more.
