Pharm, you said a few things in your questions and answers that maybe we can civilly talk about, even though i am still bent like a dogs hind leg, That may in the future help a new user, not limited to but including your self in a quit journey.
You mentioned and I quote
I think the concept of "forever" and "never again" scared me.
Please tell me where you got this from. Have your read any of our site? The journey of quit is in fact forever. Are we asking you to commit to "forever" ? No not even close. All we are asking you for is today. When you WUPP (wake up piss post roll), you are promising your self and your brothers of quit that you will not use today. That promise does not cover tomorrow because we are not there yet. Never again.... Yep! that is true! A quit is a quit. If you use again, then you were never quit. All you had was a stop. A stop is worthless.
Let me tell you about someone I knew once who had a "Stop" Going on. This guy smoked like a freight train! 3 + packs of cigs a day as well as dipped while at work on that rare occasion. At this point in time he was not stopped. Then one day he got sick as fucking hell. he went to the dr and the dr said, Mr. XXXXX if you do not quit, you will die within the year. Mr. XXXXX was 30 years old. he just got told he was going to die. So what does Mr XXXXX do? he goes to Walmart with a FULL PACK and a half pack of smokes on his person and goes in and buys the 21 mg patches. Goes home and smokes that pack and half of smokes. Puts on a patch and has not ever smoked a cigarette again to this very day he is still quit. Now he is stopped. Then about 6 months later as Mr XXXXX was coaching a little league baseball game, his brother in law offers him a pinch of dip after he had been off of nicotine for nearly 6 months. 1 pinch wont hurt he said, and that pinch led to 1 can one hurt. Which in turn led to him dipping a can every other day until September 17th of last year. Real good eh? And all this time he was telling everyone he was quit and had a lip full of cat shit! That stop was 6 months long. What a lying bastard! You know who Mr. XXXX was? Me! So you see what a stop gets you? Right back to square 1. A day 1 one roll and some serious suck to deal with.
Ok now that that story is over with, moving on.
Self Will. OMG that is something I hate so bad. Like I told you earlier in the group, self will got you to where you are today, right here and asking for help. And we are glad to give it if you are glad to work the system! it's all up to you but PLEASE do not rely on self will bud. Rely on your brothers and sisters of quit. yeah we have women here to. We are here to help you through the shitty day. You can get ahold of me and call me every name in the book or tell me what you wish. You wont hurt my feelings any.
Missing role.... it did not allow you to cave. caving was a decision you made. Fair do's man. You decided. You said you had numbers so that tells me you chose not to use them. Which brings up another point. You had every opportunity to get on roll. You could have texted one of those numbers and they gladly would have got you on roll. Do what you have to to get on roll. Waking up late sucks. Do not get yourself fired. Get to work on time by all means. BUT, on break, text roll!
So was that day with out dip miserable as what you are going through now? Answering questions, getting called names, all this reading, etc etc. Was it worth it in the end? And where is that can now? Dumped, rinsed and tossed? No just in case cans man. None. You had the nicotine part whipped on the 3rd day. It was gone out of you man. All you had to do was wake up, post and fight the mental stage. Now not only are you flushing again, but you are fighting mental and flushing! Nice!
Stranger is right. The nic takes time. The addiction lasts forever. That is where the forever part comes in to play. Remember, we are only working on today. You will be an addict for the rest of your life. I read a post earlier today that compared us to pickles. A cucumber is a cucumber and always can be. The minute you turn it in to a pickle, it can never be a cucumber ever again. it will always be a pickle. Now I am paraphrasing this. See the point? You are an addict for the rest of your life. You will never be cured. As long as you live, there will never be just one. lets not ever worry about the 5th can of dip or the tenth dip out of that can. lets worry about the first dip! You can not EVER have that first dip. Never again. No cigars at baby time. No cigars at buddies weddings. No sneak a cig breaks. You are an addict.
Long story short, you have all the help in the world you could ever possibly need right at your finger tips. it is up to you how you use it. Some parts of this site not for you? Cool. Then don't use it. Use what is for you. I treat this place like a smorgasbord. I take what I want and leave the rest for others to enjoy!
Anyway man, remember what I said, learn to live life on lifes terms. Watch out for the old nic bitch for she is a sneaky one!
Holler at us man!
