Hey Robcat, I come in peace. Read through your intro and I can relate to the anger and rage. I think we all can. I am day 24 of quitting and not going to lie, it sucks. I dipped for 35 years. Came to the conclusion that it was time to be done. Stop dancing with the devil. I am sure that we are similar in that we both have tried to quit before. My experience has not been good. What I have found out over these 24 days is that I need people around my that understand what it is like to give up something that I love doing. Something that has me by the balls and does not want to let go. I need people around me that understand I am pissed...raging anger...and even more pissed that I am not even sure why I am pissed. I have snapped at my wife for no reason at all. Makes me a prick. I have learned how to use the guys in my group to rage on and not my wife. She appreciates that. In order for that to happen for you, I encourage you to get as many phone numbers from people that you can. In the first few days, i did not understand. By day 7, I had 3 or 4 numbers and would text back and forth both good and bad. It helped me get through the days. Now at day 24, I have 16 or 17 numbers in my phone. Some I text everyday. I have texted them all at some point and most have texted me back. I have personally talked to 4 of them on the phone over the last week. Couple times to help me and a couple times to help them. I dont pretend to understand why posting roll every morning helps, but it does. I have 60 something people in my april group that I promise everyday that i will not use tobacco. Again, not sure why, but no way I am going to let them down.
I hope you find in short time that you feel the same way about posting roll. I think I read on here that someone said take what you need and leave the rest(The Night They Drove Old Dixie Down?). I agree. You will find some assholes on this site, no doubt. You will also find some really good guys. I ask you to reach out to some guys and get their number and start building a support group that you feel comfortable with. These will be the guys that help you to keep your promise to stay quit. You just have to ask me and my numbers are yours.
I wish you luck and hope that you quit today and get up and do it again tomorrow....