Day 98. Perhaps the most bizarre thing about my quit journey is about 2 weeks ago, I began to see that my life was going to change by Friday, January 23. Thats because things would be upon me that would force my permanent exit from business and I'd be forced to "go get a job". Getting a job would involve putting my company and me personally into bankruptcy - the final straw or loss I have been fighting. There were several rather big things that would need to take place to avoid that fate and for me to relaunch the business, some so big I simply do not control them, so it was just a matter of time to see, and that time runs out this week.
Since I last posted I've been back in the ER for even more drama and have yet another surgery tomorrow. I look in the mirror and think, if I didn't have bad luck, I wouldn't have any luck at all! I feared that being drugged out on pain meds AGAIN was going to kill any chance of me rebuilding the business and the unwanted defaulting was all but inevitable. I even looked sadly at my approaching 100 days as the only good thing left that I had going.
So these past 2 weeks I've been watching as amazing things have happened. It turns out tomorrow's surgery will actually be the end to this medical mess FINALLY. It will be O.V.E.R. And I am starting to see some of those big things happen and come to life. It's hard to say or believe, but I am now feverishly preparing to relaunch my company with a new investor and some great new potential. Could this really all be wrapping up at the same time, at 100 days? I understand quitting is a lifelong thing, and so is the rest of the my life, but I'm curious to see if this particular journey does come to a head at the time I hit HoF. Talk about coincidences...
I'll NEVER forget these 100 days.
Congrats Mark. Thoughts and prayers are with you and your family for all the things you mentioned.
This is all fantastic news. In addition to KTC, I have been attending some Nicotine Anonymous meetings. I find the combination of the two very helpful as the two represent different approaches so I take some from both groups. But I will tell you that sometimes there are speakers that come to the NA meetings and they tell stories like the one you're telling. There's a spiritual component to NA and there's a sense among those that are long-timers that there's this thing going on with God that if you take care of your business and do the things you're supposed to be doing, good things just happen. It's like no one can draw a straight line between quitting nicotine and these blessings but there's also no doubting that they are connected.
I'm actually unemployed right now and that's a big reason why I chose now to quit. Most of the times I've quit in the past have ended because of some work-related stress. So, I decided that THIS was going to be the time and I was going to concentrate on finally quitting this shit for good. The job search has been tough. Sitting in front of a computer is one of those times when I would always have a dip in so I'm trying to minimize that time. But being unemployed also means that I can go to the gym every day for as long as I need to keep from putting on the pounds that usually come with quitting. So, basically I'm quitting full-time and my job search is suffering a bit but that's OK for now. As I hear each week at the NA meetings, just take care of the things you can control and take it one day at a time and good things will come. Your story is more evidence of that.
LA Kevin,
Thanks for your kind words. I am careful about tying my spirituality with quitting because there are plenty of people here who are amazing and powerful quitters and for them, God had nothing to do with it. But as a believer in Jesus Christ, I KNOW he is involved in all parts of my life, including this quit. If you scroll all the way back to my less than spectacular start here, I say that I came here because I felt like I was being called to quit by God, and I was looking for tools to quit. I am not a health-n-wealth gospel kinda guy, but I do know the Bible clearly says we are to be obedient and that he may use the crap in this world to get our attention. Why would he call me to this? Because my body is his temple, he lives in us, and I'm shoving cat turds in it all day!
These 100 days have been brutal, not just the quit, everything. Understanding the HOF is just a milestone, I am getting curious and starting to see that there are all kinds of changes going on in me. Maybe he let life slap the living hell out of me to get me to the place I could quit, and change. I'd do the same for my daughters if they were doing something destructive to themselves. It jarred me. And its changed me. Dipping this crap affects SO much more than just us, it steals from our marriages and families, it robs money, it makes us loners, it makes us liars and utterly selfish. So maybe, and I don't dare to presume to know what God does and why, but I'm getting really suspicious that as I approach this milestone, that his larger plan is coming into view, and my business woes are ending. Please know, I do not think life gets easy after this, this is just a step in obedience for me and a huge demonstration of how much God loved us first, even with cat turds ruining our lives.
I encourage you in this effort, its not for the pansies! But it is SO worth it. Nic (and in my perspective, it is satan) is whispering that you can put this quit off till things get better, just know its a damn lie. Its nothing but an excuse to keep you owned by a little can. God may or may not restore my business, he may or may not land you in a great job tomorrow, thats up to him, we are just to be obedient. But as you say, when we are obedient, its odd how things do seem to change.
But even if I was all wrong, if you stick with it and you GAIN all those things I mentioned we already lost to nic. Its a win-win! I hope to come back about Day 110 and say, the business is booming and I'm still QLF! But even if its not, I'll be QLF!
