Stuff a half a can in your face. That's a fucking winner move. You would look like a god damn idiot. Besides that, are you saying normality to you is walking around with a mouth stuffed full of shit?
After 25 years, you weren't feeling any "rush" when you loaded your lip up. Give me a fucking break.
Spitting? You loved spitting? Into a bottle? Spitting? Go suck on a sour candy and spit til the cows come home.
If you call some weeds in a can a "friend", you got issues.
The one thing you did not mention which ties all these fucked up thoughts together is nicotine.
You're addicted to it. We all are.
It makes you think some dumb ass shit. It makes you believe that chew somehow gave you "something", like confidence, the ability to relax and deal with stress, a cure fore boredom, etc...
Truth is, it gave you nothing. In fact it stripped you of all those things. It was all built on a house of cards. Nicotine fills NO voids, it only creates them.
Now the fun part...you get to re-wire your brain and learn how to live life the way you were meant to, free of nicotine. It's time to re-discover yourself and deal with "life" head on, rather than reaching for the can. You were a slave and the nicotine inside that can was your master. It's time to take your freedom back. It's time to come home.
Follow the game plan laid out by those who came her with the same false thoughts that you have now. Post role and make a promise every day, that you will not use nicotine. Make yourself accountable to your group and get to know them so you can go to battle together.
Quit for you...because you WANT to, and not for any other reason. You can do this. It won't always be easy, but it will always be worth it.
Quit on...