Hello KTC Community and all the Quiters..
I started dipping when I was 19 years old so that has been 21 years with a 15 month stop.
I started with Red Man, then Skoal Straight, then finally to Skoal Long-Cut Mint. Before KTC, I had always wanted to stop and even tried 3-8 times with the longest number of days about 5 in a row. I didnÂ’t understand the Nicotine and how powerful it was over me.
I joined KTC late October of 2011 and entered the HOF in February of 2012.
I am just extremely happy to be back at KTC and have much so many more Quit Brothers that I know will in the journey forever.
Here is what I posted when proposed with the 3 Questions about my Cave:
What Happened?
It was around May of 2013, approximately 15 months of my Quit Stop and camping season was approaching. I actually discussed starting again with my wife. There wasn’t one incident or situation where I can say that I caved. I told myself that it was no big deal and I could just “stop” again. I ended up dipping more then before, up to 2 cans a day and almost 4 to 5 cans during the weekend when I was camping.
Why did it happen?
The first time around I didnÂ’t grasp the concept that I was an addict. I considered it a bad, nasty habit.
I always gave my promise to Quit that day and I did (I take that very serious). It was when I got away from KTC quit groups and posting that I failed. I thought I had this and didn't need the support groups. After reaching the HOF and getting past 1 year, I thought this was going to be easy. Then really bad shit happened in my life and I was taking it out on the wrong people.
What am I going to do different?
1. I have realized that I am addict to Nicotine and always will be. There is never an option to “just have one” because I can’t.
2. I am going to stay involved on KTC no matter how many days are under my belts. Continue to give support to newer Quit Groups, possible become a Moderater in many years to come. What I do know, leaving KTC again is not an option.
3. Have a plan in place in all situations.
I was asked the following questions from Tuco Grill, "How would you sum up your previous time here at KTC? After glancing at your post history, it looks like you were a post 'n ghost kind of guy with a roll % in the lower-mid nineties for one full year. Did you have the digits of your fellow quit brothers from your old group? Did you ever use them prior to drifting away? At first I thought it was ironic that you came from the same group as syndrome and Mcarmo, but when I look at other random groups from way back, they're all littered with badasses."
My Response was the following; it was a great group of Quitters. February Underground was our name. Names like Mcarmo and Syndrome were very strong leaders in our group and look at their influencial they are today and tomorrow for each and every Quit group. Every day I posted I was proud. I looked forward to seeing the names on each day of the post. I did call guys on my list, however never Mcarmo or Syndrome. I did have numbers that I reached out to when things got rough. I reached out a number of times during my Quit with KTC, it is when I thought I could do it on my own.
So yes I had the numbers of fellow quit brothers and I did use them but letÂ’s be real. Maybe I didn't have the right numbers. If i had numbers from Mcarmo (which I did, or Syndrome which I didn't) then I wouldn't be drinking the Kool-Aid again, or the night sweats, or irritability, goes on and on, doesn't it?
I was not one to make post or comments all the time. I logged on, made my commitment to my fellow Quit group, then would say a few things to another groups and then log off. I honestly thought that was good enough. Did my thing and after I got through the rough stages, just kept posting, reached out to the other guys I was close to in need and went on. I never got "involved". Involved - wow what a concept. That is what I missed. I was basically an employee. Took my paycheck, got the promotion and then fucked it all up. Being a business owner, I hate those people and that is what I became. I was not involved and didn't take ownership in my quit and all the other members of my fellow February Underground Quit Group.
I want to thank the KTC Community, Admins, Moderators for all that is done on this site.
Respectfully,
KobrJr aka ~ Brad
