Two weeks of turmoil...

[slug.go]

Where are you, amigo? Need to post roll, looks like you've been missing for a couple days.

[Grizzlyhasclaws]

Everyone here....thanks for the kind words and support....I posted to roll call the past couple of days now as a newbie and will continue every day.

Feeling pretty good, the lack of sleep and habit is still playing with me and the drive to work is beyond boring now.

with all that said, still like the fact I am in control and that the hiding of it all has stopped and I feel better about that part....thinking back now of how everyday things I did centered around getting a dip in is pretty crazy, but that's the power of the can...

Thanks again, one day at a time!!

R

Great to see you post roll in Project Mayhem the past couple days, R. We've added you to the Accountability spreadsheet -- it can be found in the embedded link at the top of Mayhem's dedicated page. Unfortunately some people gloss over it or ignore it altogether, put it can be a powerful motivator in and of itself, by being able to track your progress (don't worry, you don't have to do any editing) and see how you're contributing -- or detracting -- from the group's progress. The best thing you can start doing is to post roll, first thing, every day until it's second nature.

FYI, assuming that Friday, Feb 7th was your quit day, then you're on day 18 today (Mon the 24th). Think you may have been behind by a day -- don't short-change your quit!

Keep up the great work.

Krusty nailed it. Post roll when your feet hit the floor. It's your daily pill and it will save your life if you're a man of honor. Do not miss a day.

[Krusty]

Everyone here....thanks for the kind words and support....I posted to roll call the past couple of days now as a newbie and will continue every day.

Feeling pretty good, the lack of sleep and habit is still playing with me and the drive to work is beyond boring now.

with all that said, still like the fact I am in control and that the hiding of it all has stopped and I feel better about that part....thinking back now of how everyday things I did centered around getting a dip in is pretty crazy, but that's the power of the can...

Thanks again, one day at a time!!

R

Great to see you post roll in Project Mayhem the past couple days, R. We've added you to the Accountability spreadsheet -- it can be found in the embedded link at the top of Mayhem's dedicated page. Unfortunately some people gloss over it or ignore it altogether, put it can be a powerful motivator in and of itself, by being able to track your progress (don't worry, you don't have to do any editing) and see how you're contributing -- or detracting -- from the group's progress. The best thing you can start doing is to post roll, first thing, every day until it's second nature.

FYI, assuming that Friday, Feb 7th was your quit day, then you're on day 18 today (Mon the 24th). Think you may have been behind by a day -- don't short-change your quit!

Keep up the great work.

[rdad]

Everyone here....thanks for the kind words and support....I posted to roll call the past couple of days now as a newbie and will continue every day.

Feeling pretty good, the lack of sleep and habit is still playing with me and the drive to work is beyond boring now.

with all that said, still like the fact I am in control and that the hiding of it all has stopped and I feel better about that part....thinking back now of how everyday things I did centered around getting a dip in is pretty crazy, but that's the power of the can...

Thanks again, one day at a time!!

R

The number of things that dipping affected will continue to astound you even late into your quit. I used to think I loved playing video game. Turns out I just liked them, a little bit.

I love the fact that you like "being in control" You definitely are! It will not fly into your mouth by itself. You are doing great.

[RickDicolus]

Everyone here....thanks for the kind words and support....I posted to roll call the past couple of days now as a newbie and will continue every day.

Feeling pretty good, the lack of sleep and habit is still playing with me and the drive to work is beyond boring now.

with all that said, still like the fact I am in control and that the hiding of it all has stopped and I feel better about that part....thinking back now of how everyday things I did centered around getting a dip in is pretty crazy, but that's the power of the can...

Thanks again, one day at a time!!

R

The number of things that dipping affected will continue to astound you even late into your quit. I used to think I loved playing video game. Turns out I just liked them, a little bit.

[copingwithoutcopen]

RS,

Don't be afraid to grab some sunflower seeds, fake dip, jerky or sugarless gum for those rides. The more water and exercise you get, the quicker you'll flush out the poison and it will help with sleep, too. While we're at it, consider easing up on the caffeine, maybe cut your intake by half. Be prepared and know thy enemy. Take a look around and find the common themes. Some of us are full of crap. You might even need a stool softener because nicotine was such a stimulant. No more blastin the bowl, you know?. 'flush'

There seems to be three elements to our addiction. The physical (cellular effects), a psychological component (the head games) and the habit (tap, tap, tap). A good plan addresses them all.

It takes time to adjust but if you continue to post roll and honor your word, you can't fail. You gotta own every aspect of your quit.

Grab some digits but no sexting. 'finger point'

Accountability is the word of the day, every day, no matter what.

[rsbootfan]

Everyone here....thanks for the kind words and support....I posted to roll call the past couple of days now as a newbie and will continue every day.

Feeling pretty good, the lack of sleep and habit is still playing with me and the drive to work is beyond boring now.

with all that said, still like the fact I am in control and that the hiding of it all has stopped and I feel better about that part....thinking back now of how everyday things I did centered around getting a dip in is pretty crazy, but that's the power of the can...

Thanks again, one day at a time!!

R

[12yeargrizzlybear]

Great post R,

Thanks for opening up and sharing. Even when it's anonymous, it still takes balls to put yourself out there like that. My story was very similar to yours in that I was a ninja dipper for 12 years. The out of the way gas stations to get new cans and trash the old ones, the secret hiding places in the house, the back up story for if I was ever caught or if a can was ever found "

"oh I bought that back pack from a thrift store for my hiking trip last year, it must have been from whoever owned it last, haha you thought that was mine? That's funny!"

And she would believe me too because I was that good at hiding it, I never gave her or anybody else a hint of suspicion. I'm on day 52 now and to look back at how I was and how I used to live, it sickens me. I still haven't come clean yet, still to ashamed. I don't know if I ever will, maybe after a year. But I totally understand where you are bro.

Stay strong and post roll every day. Read the articles and introductions here every day. If you find yourself getting "bored" with your quit, go read the stories again about the guys who dipped one dip too many, it will reinvigorate you I promise.

Congrats on your progress so far!

Grizz

[Gdubya]

R, what your looking for here is freedom right? Well, your in the right place. Addiction has many forms. Addiction to nicotine is just one. Any steps you take in the direction of getting your life in order and taking your freedom back is a step in the right direction. Over coming this addiction for nicotine is eye opening and liberating. Everyday of being quit will give you an increase in strength and confidence that you really are able to take your life back. Look at the top of the page and find the link for the Welcome Center. Read everything there. And just as kdip said, you gotta get to posting roll. It's your promise to the entire KTC community as well as your self, that you will not use nicotine in any shape, form, or fashion for just that day. Wake up the next day, and do it again. It works bro.

[mb289]

Welcome! This site has helped me more than I can tell you. You might want to tell your wife as she can provide some great support. Like you, I was always a private chewer unless I was around other chewers. But, my wife knew and when I told her about KTC she was very supportive and I can talk with her about the battle raging inside me.

and post roll call.

Dave

[slug.go]

Just found this website last week and finally had some time to put together my thoughts and write something. I think this is site is great on so many levels, but for me it's 3 things as I write now:

1) A place to vent and write my issues/concerns/thoughts
2) A place to find support and help
3) A place I wont be judged for my addictions

In a nutshell I quit chewing on Friday, February 7th...the lucky number seven I thought to myself. So far so good, as in I have not falled off the wagon and had a chew since....however, my two weeks of turmoil have opened my eyes to just how addicted I was...you see my chewing addiction had a friend, and that friend is named porn.

I started chewing at the ripe age of 14 off and on during high school, never around family or girlfriends, just me and the boys, something to do after school and on the weekends. On road trips and after sports practice...I loved it, the taste and the nicotine. Before I quite a can of chew lasted two dips for me...I was at the point where half a can was my normal dip the past year or so.

Online porn came about my freshman year in college and I soon found myself looking at porn while I dipped in between classes or to just to relax and kill time...that was almost 20 years ago...

So a 20 year habit of dipping and porn I am now trying to throw of the cliff and get control of my life back. Tall task, but I have no choice really...cold turkey and all, I have to do this, I have hit bottom and I am sick of being a slave to both, especially chew.

The fact is, I am a secret dipper, very few people knew I even dipped into my 30's and now 40's. I have a very high level professional job, a lovely wife and children...they all have no idea. Not most of my friends, parents and work colleagues.

So not only do I need to shed my vices, I can't rely on ANY family support to do so, at least not at this time...too ashamed and embarrassed to be honest.

The first week I quit I was sick to my stomach, my head hurt, tired, irritable, couldn't sleep, etc....just a train wreck, but I had to take control of my life again. I have had much adversity in my life, so trying times aren't new to me, but trying times for me personally are, especially since it's now a full time, day by day gig.

My drive to work and back changed, as I no longer needed to go to the out of the way gas stations to get my dip and throw out my spit bottle...that alone gained me 20 minutes a day in my new life...amazing.

I started walking to just get out of the house and clear my head....I felt better going into week two and now I have to walk or else I feel like crap...maybe a new addiction called exercise, but I'll take it at this point.

I am also porn free for two weeks as well, which is a whole other issue for another board and or time...but that I must deal with too, as they are co-dependent I think.

So just wanted to introduce myself and I enjoy reading all the stories...great support since I have some business trips coming up, which in the past were filled of chew and porn in my hotel room late at night...this will always be a struggle, but I feel good today as I write this...a positive outlook and a place I feel good about...each day is a new day and that is all I can ask for.

Sorry about being all over the place here, just writing what comes to my mind at this point.

Take care,
R

Welcome to the site and the realization that YOU need to do this for yourself!!!! Quitting sucks but if you REALLY WANT this you can DO this!!. life is way better without that monkey on your back calling every shot!!!  Secondly you will find that there are/were quite a few ninjas on this site, myself included. I hope you have found the May quit group and are posting roll. If you need anything just PM me and I will respond or send you my number if you need to talk.

Kdip

Day 2001

Did you notice that kdip has been quit for 5 1/2 years and the main advice he had for you was to post roll? Look in the welcome center tab above to learn how and why we post roll. It is that important! You can do this.

Congrats on taking your life back, R, one day at a time (ODAAT). It takes a pair to open up about yourself, your vices, addictions, and vulnerabilities, and commit to changing your life for the better. The site allows you to get as introspective as you'd like, and provides an outstanding forum to establish a standard of accountability for yourself. Who (and what) you tell or don't tell in your personal life is for you to determine (and plenty of folks here will give their advice on the matter), but now that you've taken the first step in introducing yourself, why not make it official and post roll with the May '14 quit group? Your daily (and early) commitment to not use nic is all we ask, but we damn well expect that you will keep your word to us. In turn, we are accountable to you if we don't hear from you, if you suffer a craving in solitude, or lose your resolve and cave -- but you have to make the effort and get involved.

Click on the orange "Welcome Center" button on the top left corner, learn to post roll (and how to fix the inevitable bumps you'll cause), and get into May '14. Stay strong, quit on.

There is a 'Porn Quit Group' in Getting My Act Together forums. Welcome to May. Post. No Nicotine. Repeat.

[Krusty]

Just found this website last week and finally had some time to put together my thoughts and write something. I think this is site is great on so many levels, but for me it's 3 things as I write now:

1) A place to vent and write my issues/concerns/thoughts
2) A place to find support and help
3) A place I wont be judged for my addictions

In a nutshell I quit chewing on Friday, February 7th...the lucky number seven I thought to myself. So far so good, as in I have not falled off the wagon and had a chew since....however, my two weeks of turmoil have opened my eyes to just how addicted I was...you see my chewing addiction had a friend, and that friend is named porn.

I started chewing at the ripe age of 14 off and on during high school, never around family or girlfriends, just me and the boys, something to do after school and on the weekends. On road trips and after sports practice...I loved it, the taste and the nicotine. Before I quite a can of chew lasted two dips for me...I was at the point where half a can was my normal dip the past year or so.

Online porn came about my freshman year in college and I soon found myself looking at porn while I dipped in between classes or to just to relax and kill time...that was almost 20 years ago...

So a 20 year habit of dipping and porn I am now trying to throw of the cliff and get control of my life back. Tall task, but I have no choice really...cold turkey and all, I have to do this, I have hit bottom and I am sick of being a slave to both, especially chew.

The fact is, I am a secret dipper, very few people knew I even dipped into my 30's and now 40's. I have a very high level professional job, a lovely wife and children...they all have no idea. Not most of my friends, parents and work colleagues.

So not only do I need to shed my vices, I can't rely on ANY family support to do so, at least not at this time...too ashamed and embarrassed to be honest.

The first week I quit I was sick to my stomach, my head hurt, tired, irritable, couldn't sleep, etc....just a train wreck, but I had to take control of my life again. I have had much adversity in my life, so trying times aren't new to me, but trying times for me personally are, especially since it's now a full time, day by day gig.

My drive to work and back changed, as I no longer needed to go to the out of the way gas stations to get my dip and throw out my spit bottle...that alone gained me 20 minutes a day in my new life...amazing.

I started walking to just get out of the house and clear my head....I felt better going into week two and now I have to walk or else I feel like crap...maybe a new addiction called exercise, but I'll take it at this point.

I am also porn free for two weeks as well, which is a whole other issue for another board and or time...but that I must deal with too, as they are co-dependent I think.

So just wanted to introduce myself and I enjoy reading all the stories...great support since I have some business trips coming up, which in the past were filled of chew and porn in my hotel room late at night...this will always be a struggle, but I feel good today as I write this...a positive outlook and a place I feel good about...each day is a new day and that is all I can ask for.

Sorry about being all over the place here, just writing what comes to my mind at this point.

Take care,
R

Welcome to the site and the realization that YOU need to do this for yourself!!!! Quitting sucks but if you REALLY WANT this you can DO this!!. life is way better without that monkey on your back calling every shot!!! Secondly you will find that there are/were quite a few ninjas on this site, myself included. I hope you have found the May quit group and are posting roll. If you need anything just PM me and I will respond or send you my number if you need to talk.

Kdip

Day 2001

Did you notice that kdip has been quit for 5 1/2 years and the main advice he had for you was to post roll? Look in the welcome center tab above to learn how and why we post roll. It is that important! You can do this.

Congrats on taking your life back, R, one day at a time (ODAAT). It takes a pair to open up about yourself, your vices, addictions, and vulnerabilities, and commit to changing your life for the better. The site allows you to get as introspective as you'd like, and provides an outstanding forum to establish a standard of accountability for yourself. Who (and what) you tell or don't tell in your personal life is for you to determine (and plenty of folks here will give their advice on the matter), but now that you've taken the first step in introducing yourself, why not make it official and post roll with the May '14 quit group? Your daily (and early) commitment to not use nic is all we ask, but we damn well expect that you will keep your word to us. In turn, we are accountable to you if we don't hear from you, if you suffer a craving in solitude, or lose your resolve and cave -- but you have to make the effort and get involved.

Click on the orange "Welcome Center" button on the top left corner, learn to post roll (and how to fix the inevitable bumps you'll cause), and get into May '14. Stay strong, quit on.

[rdad]

Just found this website last week and finally had some time to put together my thoughts and write something. I think this is site is great on so many levels, but for me it's 3 things as I write now:

1) A place to vent and write my issues/concerns/thoughts
2) A place to find support and help
3) A place I wont be judged for my addictions

In a nutshell I quit chewing on Friday, February 7th...the lucky number seven I thought to myself. So far so good, as in I have not falled off the wagon and had a chew since....however, my two weeks of turmoil have opened my eyes to just how addicted I was...you see my chewing addiction had a friend, and that friend is named porn.

I started chewing at the ripe age of 14 off and on during high school, never around family or girlfriends, just me and the boys, something to do after school and on the weekends. On road trips and after sports practice...I loved it, the taste and the nicotine. Before I quite a can of chew lasted two dips for me...I was at the point where half a can was my normal dip the past year or so.

Online porn came about my freshman year in college and I soon found myself looking at porn while I dipped in between classes or to just to relax and kill time...that was almost 20 years ago...

So a 20 year habit of dipping and porn I am now trying to throw of the cliff and get control of my life back. Tall task, but I have no choice really...cold turkey and all, I have to do this, I have hit bottom and I am sick of being a slave to both, especially chew.

The fact is, I am a secret dipper, very few people knew I even dipped into my 30's and now 40's. I have a very high level professional job, a lovely wife and children...they all have no idea. Not most of my friends, parents and work colleagues.

So not only do I need to shed my vices, I can't rely on ANY family support to do so, at least not at this time...too ashamed and embarrassed to be honest.

The first week I quit I was sick to my stomach, my head hurt, tired, irritable, couldn't sleep, etc....just a train wreck, but I had to take control of my life again. I have had much adversity in my life, so trying times aren't new to me, but trying times for me personally are, especially since it's now a full time, day by day gig.

My drive to work and back changed, as I no longer needed to go to the out of the way gas stations to get my dip and throw out my spit bottle...that alone gained me 20 minutes a day in my new life...amazing.

I started walking to just get out of the house and clear my head....I felt better going into week two and now I have to walk or else I feel like crap...maybe a new addiction called exercise, but I'll take it at this point.

I am also porn free for two weeks as well, which is a whole other issue for another board and or time...but that I must deal with too, as they are co-dependent I think.

So just wanted to introduce myself and I enjoy reading all the stories...great support since I have some business trips coming up, which in the past were filled of chew and porn in my hotel room late at night...this will always be a struggle, but I feel good today as I write this...a positive outlook and a place I feel good about...each day is a new day and that is all I can ask for.

Sorry about being all over the place here, just writing what comes to my mind at this point.

Take care,
R

Welcome to the site and the realization that YOU need to do this for yourself!!!! Quitting sucks but if you REALLY WANT this you can DO this!!. life is way better without that monkey on your back calling every shot!!! Secondly you will find that there are/were quite a few ninjas on this site, myself included. I hope you have found the May quit group and are posting roll. If you need anything just PM me and I will respond or send you my number if you need to talk.

Kdip

Day 2001

Did you notice that kdip has been quit for 5 1/2 years and the main advice he had for you was to post roll? Look in the welcome center tab above to learn how and why we post roll. It is that important! You can do this.

[Kdip]

Just found this website last week and finally had some time to put together my thoughts and write something. I think this is site is great on so many levels, but for me it's 3 things as I write now:

1) A place to vent and write my issues/concerns/thoughts
2) A place to find support and help
3) A place I wont be judged for my addictions

In a nutshell I quit chewing on Friday, February 7th...the lucky number seven I thought to myself. So far so good, as in I have not falled off the wagon and had a chew since....however, my two weeks of turmoil have opened my eyes to just how addicted I was...you see my chewing addiction had a friend, and that friend is named porn.

I started chewing at the ripe age of 14 off and on during high school, never around family or girlfriends, just me and the boys, something to do after school and on the weekends. On road trips and after sports practice...I loved it, the taste and the nicotine. Before I quite a can of chew lasted two dips for me...I was at the point where half a can was my normal dip the past year or so.

Online porn came about my freshman year in college and I soon found myself looking at porn while I dipped in between classes or to just to relax and kill time...that was almost 20 years ago...

So a 20 year habit of dipping and porn I am now trying to throw of the cliff and get control of my life back. Tall task, but I have no choice really...cold turkey and all, I have to do this, I have hit bottom and I am sick of being a slave to both, especially chew.

The fact is, I am a secret dipper, very few people knew I even dipped into my 30's and now 40's. I have a very high level professional job, a lovely wife and children...they all have no idea. Not most of my friends, parents and work colleagues.

So not only do I need to shed my vices, I can't rely on ANY family support to do so, at least not at this time...too ashamed and embarrassed to be honest.

The first week I quit I was sick to my stomach, my head hurt, tired, irritable, couldn't sleep, etc....just a train wreck, but I had to take control of my life again. I have had much adversity in my life, so trying times aren't new to me, but trying times for me personally are, especially since it's now a full time, day by day gig.

My drive to work and back changed, as I no longer needed to go to the out of the way gas stations to get my dip and throw out my spit bottle...that alone gained me 20 minutes a day in my new life...amazing.

I started walking to just get out of the house and clear my head....I felt better going into week two and now I have to walk or else I feel like crap...maybe a new addiction called exercise, but I'll take it at this point.

I am also porn free for two weeks as well, which is a whole other issue for another board and or time...but that I must deal with too, as they are co-dependent I think.

So just wanted to introduce myself and I enjoy reading all the stories...great support since I have some business trips coming up, which in the past were filled of chew and porn in my hotel room late at night...this will always be a struggle, but I feel good today as I write this...a positive outlook and a place I feel good about...each day is a new day and that is all I can ask for.

Sorry about being all over the place here, just writing what comes to my mind at this point.

Take care,
R

Welcome to the site and the realization that YOU need to do this for yourself!!!! Quitting sucks but if you REALLY WANT this you can DO this!!. life is way better without that monkey on your back calling every shot!!! Secondly you will find that there are/were quite a few ninjas on this site, myself included. I hope you have found the May quit group and are posting roll. If you need anything just PM me and I will respond or send you my number if you need to talk.

Kdip

Day 2001

[rsbootfan]

Take care.
R