Hello- My name is Jeff. I started chewing in 1992. I was in the Army and smoked, but had to limit it in the field so naturally instead of giving up tobacco, I just found an easier way to do it. I got out of the Army in 1997 and became a ninja dipper. Had to move back in with my nice suburban parents and chewing wasn’t something you did let alone even talked about it, so I kept it hidden. Moved cities in 1999 and just became better at my craft, girls I dated didn’t know, family didn’t, work didn’t. I was damn good. 2004 I became engaged and married my wife. She didn’t know I chewed because she smoked and couldn’t smell or taste anything due to her own addiction, so I smoked around her and chewed whenever I could. Looking back, she had actually suggested I see a doctor due to all the time I spent in the bathroom! She caught me a couple times here and there and I was able to pin it on a friend or constipation…. Yep, constipation! Then it became more frequent and she became more watchful. Then she suggested we quit smoking. Now I was in panic mode. Well, I gave it a shot and caved on a daily basis. In order to quit with her support, I had to admit to lying and I couldn’t do that. So I went until this year with my ninja dipping. September 19th all hell broke loose. To explain I have to back up to February of this year. I had given up control of my credit cards because we were trying to get out of debt and I couldn’t explain anymore random “gasoline” purchases. Well, turns out my Menard’s card is also accepted at certain gas stations… BINGO! Between February and September, 7 Months, I racked up over $1,000 in charges from using chew. I was the lowest sneak you will have ever met. I changed the mailing address on the bill to my work address. I went to paperless billing. I sold tools at the pawn shop to make the minimal payment. Then I had a work trip. I took the credit card and “promised” my wife I would use it sparingly. Well, I got shitfaced at the hotel bar and racked up a $90 bar tab. Wife got bill, wife freaked out, wife accused me of cheating on her. I got tired of lying and came clean… to everything. No, I did not cheat on her, but I did cheat her. I agreed to see a psychotherapist who specializes in tobacco addictions, and he gave me this site. I am struggling with demons of the past, and am willing to do whatever it takes to save my marriage and my life. I have been a granted a final second chance, and if I fail this time I will lose everything. My wife, my child, my life. I wanted to wait a month or so on my intro to make sure I was 100% invested in this quit. I am here to say that after a rough start (I was using lozenges at first and came clean and got my ass chewed out and nearly threw out) I am willing to do whatever it takes to take control of my life again and to be able to look the people I love in the eye and honestly tell them “I do not use tobacco”. Anything less than that is complete and utter failure. For me, caving is not an option. It is quit or lose my life. Thanks for reading this. See ya on the rolls.
