Whats up everyone,
On the 4th day of my quit I think the fog has lifted just enough for me to be able to write sentences again and formally introduce myself. My name is Brendan and I am a 23 year old who had been dipping daily for 8 years. I want to use this time to kinda get my thoughts out about why I quit, just how intrusive the habit of chew was in my life, and what I've been doing to not fail (so far).
Prior to 4 days ago I would say that most things in my life involved chewing. Doing homework/studying had to be dipping, driving regardless of how far I was dipping, out drinking I was dipping the whole time... you guys get the point and were probably all in the same situation. The intrusiveness of chew in my life is what leads me to my next point, why I quit. I did not quit because I was scared of cancer nor because I was sick of spending the money etc. I quit because I realized that I was not happy and I was not happy because I was not in control of my everyday life. My addiction caused me to go get a can when I did not have one, or be in a shitty mood when I was in a situation where I could not chew. The weirdest part of the whole thing that I did not even realize this until I started to think about quitting months ago. I did not even know just how much my life revolved around my addiction. I did not even notice that chaw was always on the top of my agenda. Why the fuck was I prioritizing this shit? This is when I began to think about just how much dip may have been holding me back from living a more productive/fulfilling life. That is when the light bulb went off - "holy shit I have to quit now or Ill be a slave to this shit forever." So I quit the next day, found this site, and I am never going back (hopefully with the help you all).
Which leads me to my next topic, how shitty I've felt since I quit. Major withdraws the first two days followed by intense craving just about all day long. But, I will share with you guys who are also struggling just how I have been coping with it. Firstly, I have been laser focused on why I personally quit, and this is why I really do believe what so many of you hall of famers have been saying about how a person needs to quit solely for themselves. I quit because I want to be a better person. I quit because I want to be in control of my own life and not a slave to an addiction. I constantly remind myself this. Every time I get an urge to chew I think to myself "Remember Why You Quit" RWYQ. I will repeat that to myself over and over and over and over. Wether you have the same reasons as me or you want to live to see your children get married it does not matter. The only way your going to get over the cravings is to remind yourself why YOU quit. Which brings me to my next point, make it a personal battle. I am going to make the probably correct assumption that most dippers are prideful, competitive, challenge seeking sons of bitches, so do just that. The harder it gets for me, the more i refuse to back down from the challenge. Its literally me vs. the chew in my head and I'm not fucking losing. I refuse to fucking lose. It is literally a battle of life and death. If I do not quit I will get cancer. I realized that once I made it a competition all of the withdraw symptoms and the cravings were just by products of that battle. Like when you do not even notice you're getting winded while playing basketball with your friends because your so focused on winning. To me, it is the same thing. Quitting fucking blows but I not going to be a bitch and give in because now it's a fight, and I don't fucking lose fights.
So thats, my story. If anything this was just me trying to get my thoughts out of my head but some may find it helpful. For those quitters who are farther along I could really use some advice on how to create a life without dip. For example, I am not sure yet how I will be able to go on a long car ride without chew or go fishing etc. So any advice is welcome.
Best of luck to everyone. I look forward to be dip free forever.
Regards,
GoBirds
