100 Days
I have voluntarily ingested nicotine and all the other goodies that come with big tobacco products for about the last 12 years, prior to toeing the line here at KTC.
For much of that time, my can-a-day chewing (or pack-a-day smoking for the first couple of years) was costing me a minimum of $35/week. Upon quick calculation, and allowing for some time that I wasn’t chewing quite that much, I’d still say I probably chewed up and spit out $15-20k during that time. I almost want to quit typing right now out of shame and embarrassment, but I suppose that’s part of the hard-learned lesson here…
We all have stresses in life. Professionally speaking, I used the excuse for the last 6 years that, because my job meant dodging cars trying to hit me, people trying to shoot me, and all the other BS that comes with the territory – that I deserved this vice. I deserved stress release. What can I say? I was an idiot.
Somewhere along the way, I smartened up and started listening to the building stress that chewing was CAUSING: am I going to get sick? Is this going to be how I die? Slowly? Painfully? With nobody to blame but myself? I’d rather get killed by some asshole in the line of duty, to be perfectly candid, than be the cause of my own demise.
To keep this short, I’ll just say: then I found KTC. I joined up and was quickly encouraged by some badass vets to DO IT. I posted Day 1 (which was actually my Day 2). And every day since then, I’ve posted roll again with my brothers of April 2019. This place taught me the formula Brotherhood + Accountability = Success. These aren’t just words on a forum – you’ve got to drink the Kool-Aid, and I did. I got involved in my group, my SSOA (not as much help as I wish I could be), and newer groups starting after us. Strangers became friends and the Brotherhood was forged, and continues to strengthen now. With the network came the accountability. Reading other quitters’ struggles and wins strengthens my quit every day. I feel accountable to them that I cannot cave without asking their permission to go back on my word that I post every morning. The formula doesn’t work automatically or for itself, you must make it work for you. This looks different for everyone, there’s no one way to approach it. However, if you don’t WUPP (wake up, piss, post) EDD (every damn day), you are opening the door for the nic bitch and your addict brain to conspire against you: so, for anyone that may one day read this on the cusp of their quit, slam that door shut! BUY IN and BE ACTIVE HERE!
This is a milestone. That means there’s another one out in front of me somewhere. I’m only as quit as I am today, so I will make it to bed time. Then I’ll WUPP tomorrow, GET MY PROMISE OUT THERE FIRST THING, and take one more step with my brothers and sisters while we all search for that next milestone.
If you’re new here and thinking about the quit – stop thinking about it and BE ABOUT IT. Someone very wise once said that you’ll never find someone who quit nicotine and regretted it.
Vets and April 2019 BMFers, many of you have been instrumental in my daily quit and I thank you. Skolvikings, chris2alaska, Keith0617, Shake, BearNM, AddictArchitect, Hilltop, mayfly, Bug Guy – you’re all awesome. Athan, FLLipOut, Josh and EnuffSnuff (my HOF day bros), Kerbycl9, Broccoli-Saurus, batdad – thank you all for your constant support! If I've forgotten others who have consistently had my back and kept me accountable, it's not intentional. Truth is, I thank everyone here on KTC, even those I haven't met yet, simply for being here. I thank God that I made it here to go into battle with all of you against nicotine.
This milestone feels great, but it is only Step 1. Each day is a battle, some more fierce than others, and I am only getting warmed up.
