Through the Fire

[Ruthless]

Holland,

Great decision man!  Like you, i was a ninja dipper.  I lied to my wife that i quit.  I was fuckin good at ninja dipping.  I made it years, through 3 kids and never got caught.  Then the anxiety started about my health, being dependent on it and the constant fear of getting caught.  It became too much for me.  Dipping wasn't enjoyable anymore; it was just what i did.

I swallowed my pride and joined this site.  It took 2 days, but i sat my wife down and opened up completely about it; full disclosure.  She was crushed.  But she accepted it and appreciated my honesty and is now an active part of my quit.  The weight off of my shoulders is more than you could ever imagine.  I would suggest doing the same.  Quitting by yourself without anyone close celebrating small wins with you can be very tough. 

I'm glad you found your quit group today.  What we do here is quite easy.  Wake up and post your promise to not use nicotine for the day.  Keep your word and wake up tomorrow and do it again.  Keeping your word is one of the most important thing here.  Make bonds with fellow quitters in your group and veterans by exchanging phone numbers.  I have 30+ contacts from the site.  It strengthens your quit and makes keeping your word matter.

Get through the first days hour by hour if need be.  I'm 111 days in and trust me; it gets so much better than where you are now.  I'm happy to swap numbers if you want some additional accountability.

[Hollandeve]

There is no easy way to do this. It's taken me entirely too long to accept that fact.

I've been dipin for almost 7 years. Started in the military after I quit smoking. It never started out a secret, but then my life changed. Finished college and got married. I played with death on a daily basis because I became a ninja dipper. I had planned to quit so many times... when we move in together, after we get married, after the baby's born, etc... all came and went. I don't know how I got to this website this morning on my phone, literally no clue.

Normally on Mondays i'd go grab a can around 6pm, but today it took me 20 minutes just to get out of the house(that feeling when you're about to do something you don't want to do but you do it anyways) and I got to my car and started it. I sat in the car for 10 minutes in my driveway. Opened up the explorer on my phone and @Nick T had sent me a message which was still pulled up. In it it said "You can't ever justify another dip.....ever." He was right, I couldn't justify it.

I shut my car off, came inside, and just sat here on this website.

I know this will suck, but I have to get to the other side and the only way there is through the fire.