Were to start? 52, chewing on and off for over 30 years. K, to be honest, Chewing for 30 years, with a couple small failed attempts at quitting.
I joined the forum a couple days ago, and just starting reading. Didn't post, per the rules, I was still chewing like a MFer, in this twisted mentality that i had to had one more day. One more day. Fucking sick. My last chew was last night , before i fell asleep. No patches, no nicotine gum. I am surrounded by about 4 different flavors of 'grinds'.
I don't think I'm special, I'm guessing nothing I say will shock many of you. I fucking love Cope. I hate that it is killing me. I hate the thought of getting cancer. I chewed almost non-stop. I regularly slept with chew in my mouth. I never spit. Ever. That was 'wasting it', per my grandfather. But I've got to be honest with myself, and all of you....I love the feel, the taste, the buzz......But it's not worth it. I'm really going to struggle with this. I know I need you all to help me be accountable to myself, and each of you.
I'm afraid of failing. I'm afraid of the horrible cravings. I'm afraid of being constipated for weeks. I'm afraid of getting fucking fat. I took the oath, signed my name to it, and put it in my wallet. I'm gonna do my best, and hope you guys can help talk me "past' the cravings. The cravings are why i've failed in the past, and nicotine is such a fickle bitch. She makes you believe that it will all be okay, just have more. I need to stop this cycle.
Sorry for the rambling. thanks for having me. Thanks for being willing to help.
Freddi