First off I must thank everyone who makes this entire community possible. It truly is a life-saving endeavor. I am a grateful that I was lucky enough to find this place.
I started dipping Kodiak back in 1990, and it had been my constant companion until April of this year. Yes, there were times off and on over the past decade where my addiction to that junk made me mad and disgusted with myself. But I was never able or willing to quit for more than a few days. I did have a couple stretches during family vacations where I used NRT gum or lozenges, but I'd be right back to the dip can within a day or two of getting back home.
Looking back I am so overwhelmed with disgust at how much that addiction controlled me. It had a negative effect on pretty much every area of my life for the past 25 years. Hiding it from my wife (often unsuccessfully), hiding it from my son. Such an emotional toll to be a slave to something that you need and hate in equal measure. I wanted so bad to quit for my son after he was born, but was never able to do it. Hating yourself for being a spineless goober gets old. But finally, after a decade, this place, this team, this family of recovering addicts gave me back the life that I've wanted.
For those who are reading this that are members of the August 2015 "A-Team", including all the veteran hall-of-famers that supported us and pushed us, nagged us and cheered for us... Thank You. Knowing that I had to keep going, keep posting roll, keep that promise to myself and my community every damn day was the only thing that ever did work.
For those who are lurking around these forums, thinking of diving in and starting your quit, just do it. Start today. For those who are early on in your quit and struggling to stay on track, keep going. If a spineless goober like me can finally quit and have it stick, you can too.
