Deception, lies, and shame! That was what my life revolved around for 2 ½ years!
So many members of the armed forces dip it is amazing. I was 37 years old and a commissioned officer when I deployed in summer of 2009. I had never even considered dipping before but curiosity got the best of me when sitting around with the guys and I gave it a try. What a mistake! Some guys say their first dip makes them sick and they spit it out……not me! I truly enjoyed the small buzz I got. I turned into a nicotine fiend immediately. Told myself I would quit when I got home in a year. I never let my wife know I was dipping. I actually stopped dipping for a week before redeployment and held that half ass attempt for a week after I got home. Then I went back to work……..bought a can on the way in and that was the beginning of my downward spiral. Lies, Deception and Shame! For over a year I hid my addiction from my wife and son…….what an absolute piece of shit I had become. Making up excuses to leave the house just to pack a lip……taking the long way home from work just to suck the last ounce of poison out of that shit……I even started telling my wife I had to go to work early some days……because I needed that dip earlier and earlier every morning! One day I finally realized that I was actually spending more time with the nic bitch than I was with my family! I hit rock bottom! Thankfully I found this site and after 2 ½ years of deception I had the support of folks that had actually been in my shoes and were currently in my shoes!
Although I can never get back the lost time I spent with the nic bitch I can say that with the help of KTC I can go on with my life and be a better man!
Jim (whacko)
