For nearly 20 years, I was quitting. Its too expensive was always my reasoning. My wife never knew of my addiction so I had another reason to quit, I didn't want to get caught. Luckily enough I did get caught, in April, my wife found the stash. So I promised her I would quit. I threw everything away and within 3 days, I was back at it. This continued until she almost caught me again. I decided then and there I had to quit, not for her, but for me. Why in the hell was I doing something that might kill me one day and hiding it from the one person in the world I couldn't live without? A week later I found KTC, and thanks to cmark for engaging me that Sunday morning and showing me the ropes. Without him I would have left and not be HERE today.
Where exactly is HERE? Here is 100 days of nicotine free life. The ability to kiss my wife and not have to worry about her noticing the smell, here is not worrying if any got stuck in my teeth. Here is seeing things clearly and not in the cloud of nicotine. Here is facing all of life's trials and tribulations without nicotine to take the edge off. Here is only the beginning here IS NOT the END. Each day I still think about that "JUST a pinch between cheek and gum", I still taste it, smell it and sometimes even want it. I know each day will be a struggle. I know its all in my head, and I have to be stronger than the urge. Here is a minor victory in this war. A war that will NEVER be over!!!
So I stand here today, a beaten, battle tested quitter, one of your newest Hall of Fame members. I would like to thank the soldiers who were so pivotal in helping me with this battle. The general who got me started cmark. THANK YOU!!! My quit band of brothers Morgan1, Bruce, Roamcountry, sudsmccracken and the many others who have had to listen to me complain and my outbursts of rage. THANK YOU!!! To Michelle, who has always been there with her love and support, THANK YOU!! Always save the best for last, 2mch2lv4, the person who was my quit partner, a quit wife and a true quit warrior who supported and talked me through some of the darkest parts of the battle. THANK YOU!!!!
I want everyone mentioned and unmentioned to know that I love and respect each and every one of you and your decision to quit. I have learned that united we stand a better chance in this war than we do alone. Let's keep fighting the nicotine battle one day at a time!!!
