So here I am, day 153. I made it to the HOF, and I never thought that would happen.
Like most of you, nicotine ruled my life. I dipped for 5 years. Copenhagen pouches. Yes, I was too much of a pussy to even do the loose stuff that most of you use. It wasn't just any Copenhagen pouches, it had to be fresh pouches. I used to drive 10 miles just to get fresh pouches every day (I live in the city, convenience store on every corner, so you can see the ridiculousness of it). Then I found out where the guy at the convenience store got his from. Shit, you mean Sams sells them? And I can buy them on the same date they are stamped "made on"? Oh hell yeah. Fresh every week. Except you gotta buy a roll. Obviously being forced to buy a roll every time didn't exactly help me in cutting down on my consumption.
I hid it from my wife. That's what I'm most ashamed of. I lied again and again. The time she saw an outline of a can in my pants, I lied. ("just my keys") When we would go on car trips, I couldn't wait for her to fall asleep, so I could sneak a dip in. I dipped at work, in the car, flying, shooting, vacation (don't get me started on that shit, having to buy extra cans to pack meanwhile hiding them when we shared luggage).
What was really stupid about my habit is that I gagged violently on the first dip everyday, as my body tried to reject the poison. God forbid I swallow any juice, that would mean an instant meltdown trying to avoid puking, which would happen anyways anytime I swallowed juice.
Shit got real 2 years ago. You see, when I started dipping, it was my bottom lip. Then my upper/bottom lip (2 pouches). After a while, my bottom gum line started getting smaller and smaller on one of my teeth. I could see the tooth pretty far down. I went to a periodontist, and I had to have a gum graft. Well, I stopped for about 3-5 days while my gum was healing, and proceeded to put 'em on the sides of my mouth, moving up to 3 pouches. Yes, you read right, I had to have a transplant and my dumbass still kept dipping.
I tried the lozenges, the gum, and lastly the patches. Despite going through a minimum of a can a day, when I put the patches on, that shit made me feel sick, lethargic, so I backed the dose down. Well then I started dipping at the same time as I was doing the patches. I got used to the extra nic, then upped my dose on the patch. I finally saw the ridiculousness of it all, so I quit dipping for like a week and just did the patches. Then I saw the light.
I had been to the site many times, I just didn't know about the forum. I joined the forum, and was astounded that you guys were such hardasses...No patches? No gum? Not even cigars with buddies? Well, I'm 153 days in, and I sure as hell can't argue with whats proven.
I want to thank Wedge for helping me on the initial quit, and Rgross being my quit partner. If you're reading this on your first few days, I can't stress enough how important it is to reach out and make friends with someone here. This isn't a place for introverts. This isn't junior high. Everyone here has the same problem you do. Man up, make friends, and increase your chances of making it to the HOF. I sure as hell have no regrets.
