Today is my 100th day without tobacco or nic. I never would have believed I could make it this far. I started dipping Skoal as a 12 year old farm boy. I dipped for a few years and then moved on to cigarettes. After about 11 years or so, I was able to kick the habit. I was so proud. Then one day while doing some yard work, I decided to go to the store and get some beer. While waiting in line I saw the rack of dip and my old favorite, Skoal, so I got some. That was it, I was hooked. Now, a little over 30 years later, I'm finally able to say I'm free.
What was different this time? I've thought about quitting many times before, even tried a few times, but it never lasted. Certainly not this long. I guess it came down to desire. I really didn't desire to quit, in fact, I loved dipping. My can and a half or so a day addiction was just fine with me. It dominated everything I did and I was very rarely, if ever, without a dip, large or small, but I had no problem with that. So what changed? Why was it different?
One fine Saturday I was outside with our two little dogs. My 5 year old grandson came outside and was talking with me. I got rid of my old dip and put a fresh one in, like I had done thousands of times before. I didn't notice my little buddy was staring at me until after I was done putting my dip in. I then spit on the grass, like normal. It was then that my grandson put a pretend dip in his mouth and started spitting in the grass. He wanted to be like paw-paw, he said. I almost threw up.
I had found KTC a few months earlier, but hadn't really done anything, again, because I had no desire to. Now I had the desire. I just needed the plan, the assistance and the support to kick the addiction. I found all of that here. I don't post a great deal, I guess I'm kind of quiet. That being said, I visit here every day, not just to post roll either. Again, it is about support and reading through posts and topics has helped me with my quit immeasurably. The biggest thing of all is the knowledge that if I feel I'm going to cave, I have a whole bunch of folks that would be there in a second to help me. That's what this place is all about to me. Knowing you're with others who understand what you're going through.
I couldn't have come this far without each of you. I look forward to another 100 days of beating the addiction and another 100 after that and so on. But most importantly I look forward to spending time with my grandson and his sister and cousins without a bid wad of crap in my mouth. It's a great feeling!
