Intro

[Swilson]

Congrats on 100 days and I cannot agree more about the freedom from mapping excuses to go grab a dip - my ninja dipper self hid my addiction from my wife for 8 years and it feels great to just relax with her and our new baby without needing to figure out where my next fix is going to come from. Congrats on 100 and good luck on 200 and beyond! Thrilled to Quit with you!

[jeffw]

congrats on 100 days....i too was a super ninja dipper with the pouches...i finally got caught...my third day on ktc she found my tablet with this site running

[DonkeyMN]

Congratulations on 100 days of freedom. Keep up the good quit!
'party2' '40'

[alterego]

Posted to my fellow Battling Bastards that Beat the Bear, and memorializing here in my intro:

8 weeks and 1 day ago, I had been telling myself every night that my ninja dip on the way home would be the last one, and I would quit tomorrow. And every morning, I would wake up and tell myself I would quit after my dip on the way into work. Then it would be when I finished the tin. Sometimes, I would buy a tin, take one dip, and throw it away - because that was my last dip.

Then I found this site, 8 weeks ago, almost to the minute. It was time to quit, and I got amped up on all of you badass bastards that had embraced the quit, reveled in the suck, loved the suck so much that you wanted to quit. And I said bring it on. I threw away all my nicorette, my lozenges, and got ready for the first round of withdrawal. I bitched on this board, but as a ninja, I didn't tell anyone in real life. This was my safe space, for people that had gone through it, were going through it, and knew how $hitty it was.

In those 8 weeks, I've gone through a job change, a best friends bachelor party, a brothers weekend, and many more temptations. If I had thought about them on the day I decided to quit, I would have come up with more excuses. But thanks to the program, I took it one day at a time. I didn't think that far into the future, I just focused on my promise for that day. No dip, no cigars, no smoking - no nicotine. I was literally drunk at a casino, where everyone was smoking, and two friends were dipping - but I had made my promise, and I stuck with it. Because if I had that one cigarette, or one chew, my 5 hour drive the next day likely would have included a tin.

In those 8 weeks, I've stopped hiding from my family. I spend time with my wife and kids, without secretly always mapping out how I can get my fix. I now look forward to weekends where we will be out of the house all day, because I don't have anything to hide anymore. My entire anxiety level has gone down as I don't have this secret me that I'm actively hiding from everyone. Wherever I am, I'm actually present, and not thinking about my next dip.

I know I'm not out of the danger zone, and I will continue to take this one day at a time. But I'm 10 days away from vacation with my family, and on my drive in today I was reflecting on the fact that 8 weeks ago I was worried about how I was going to hide dipping on vacation. Today, I'm not, and that's in large part due to many people on this board. Y'all have helped me navigate many thorny situations successfully, and for that I will continue to quit with you today, and every damn day. Proud to be a battling bastard - and for all of us that are still here, looking forward to a lifetime of being a quitter together.

[DonkeyMN]

Day 35. 5 weeks, coming to an end. About a third of the way to HOF. Thought I'd do an intro update for those that are lurking and reading intro's, but have yet to take the plunge.

I've had a lot of ups and downs in these 5 weeks. I'm still a ninja quitter, at least to my family. I've opened up to some coworkers, and their support has been fantastic - except for the one that told me after a month, now that I knew I could quit, I should go buy a tin. In general, positive responses, which have helped.

Seems like every time I do something for the first time after quitting, I get some serious craves. As a ninja, business trips were my time to dip in peace, not have to worry about my wife finding the can or the spitter, and I would generally double my intake. My first business trip since quitting was about a month in - and I'll be damned if that wasn't the hardest part of my quit. I got so angry the first few days that I made it through. But I didn't expect the business trip to hit me with that level of craving. So I reached out to the Battling Bastard Brotherhood, and they responded with texts and messages urging strength and restraint. And I made it through.

Then there was the happy hour at a cigar bar. The addict voice in my head was telling me that a cigar wouldn't hurt - I could have a cigar without buying a tin on my way home. And sure, I could have a few drinks and blame the cave on the booze - after all, I had promised not to dip that day. And then, just maybe, I could grab a tin on my way home, have just one dip, and then throw it away. Good lord, that nic-bitch is sly. I shot out an SOS text, got some much needed sanity, limited the alcohol intake, and conquered the event. Even with that, the next day had stronger cravings, possibly due to the second hand smoke? Not sure, but made a note to stay away from cigar bars.

Then there are the dip dreams. Probably half a dozen by now - some I wake up right before I take a dip, some right after, but always feeling ashamed.

Five weeks in, I've made quitting this habit my priority. Not a priority. I wake up and make the choice not to use. I make that choice a dozen times a day. It's gotten easier. A lot easier. But man I still get hit with cravings. I'm no longer as angry, but that doesn't mean I'm not on my guard.

You are doing great, keep tracking these wins, and kicking ass! Keep battling brother and ODAAT you will get to where the craves are gone, for weirdly long periods. You keep on your guard. IQWYT!!!

[alterego]

Day 35. 5 weeks, coming to an end. About a third of the way to HOF. Thought I'd do an intro update for those that are lurking and reading intro's, but have yet to take the plunge.

I've had a lot of ups and downs in these 5 weeks. I'm still a ninja quitter, at least to my family. I've opened up to some coworkers, and their support has been fantastic - except for the one that told me after a month, now that I knew I could quit, I should go buy a tin. In general, positive responses, which have helped.

Seems like every time I do something for the first time after quitting, I get some serious craves. As a ninja, business trips were my time to dip in peace, not have to worry about my wife finding the can or the spitter, and I would generally double my intake. My first business trip since quitting was about a month in - and I'll be damned if that wasn't the hardest part of my quit. I got so angry the first few days that I made it through. But I didn't expect the business trip to hit me with that level of craving. So I reached out to the Battling Bastard Brotherhood, and they responded with texts and messages urging strength and restraint. And I made it through.

Then there was the happy hour at a cigar bar. The addict voice in my head was telling me that a cigar wouldn't hurt - I could have a cigar without buying a tin on my way home. And sure, I could have a few drinks and blame the cave on the booze - after all, I had promised not to dip that day. And then, just maybe, I could grab a tin on my way home, have just one dip, and then throw it away. Good lord, that nic-bitch is sly. I shot out an SOS text, got some much needed sanity, limited the alcohol intake, and conquered the event. Even with that, the next day had stronger cravings, possibly due to the second hand smoke? Not sure, but made a note to stay away from cigar bars.

Then there are the dip dreams. Probably half a dozen by now - some I wake up right before I take a dip, some right after, but always feeling ashamed.

Five weeks in, I've made quitting this habit my priority. Not a priority. I wake up and make the choice not to use. I make that choice a dozen times a day. It's gotten easier. A lot easier. But man I still get hit with cravings. I'm no longer as angry, but that doesn't mean I'm not on my guard.

[worktowin]

Day 7. You hear that you nic biatch? Day 7 without you. When I wake up tomorrow, it will be in my second week without you.

And what kind of thank you have you given me? How about a dream that I was in the closet (let's try not to read too much into that part) of my childhood bedroom, with a tin of grizzly wintergreen pouches, moments away from putting three pouches in my mouth, when my wife walks into the room. She doesn't bother to ask why I'm hiding, she just asks where my son's clothes are, picks them up and leaves.

Ermmmm... WTF. (yes, I'm a ninja, sure, my mind is telling me to tell my wife, let's ignore the psycho-babble and enjoy the humor of this post)

Tomorrow starts a new week. That means I've taken it ODAAT, 7 times. And tomorrow I will do the same, but with a continued sense of purpose and dedication. Because I can now add another measure of time in front of the declaration - I quit chewing, and this is my second week.

I mentioned in a PM to someone that in the last 5 or 6 years, the longest I had ever "paused" was a week so that nicotine was out of my system for a blood test. Well, by going ODAAT, I'll move past that point tomorrow and be able to see it in my rearview mirror.

Thanks to the system, everyone that's been texting and messaging me, and the general hard-ass way this site is run. It's been working for me. I logged on 7 days ago thinking about quitting, read about a bunch of hard-ass guys and gals that were doing this cold turkey, and said I'll hitch my wagon to that horse. Every day I wake up and decide to do it again. Couldn't be happier about that decision. Couldn't be happier to be quit with my battling bastard august assassins. Together we got this.

Hey man, you out of that closet yet? Haha

Being a ninja is so exhausting. The sneaking and scheming and lying takes up a lot more energy than you realize right now. Some day you might want to tell your wife. I did at 300, it was the best thing I did. Don't worry about that now. But do know that she will likely be shocked, but really glad you shared this struggle with her.

You are killing it.

[alterego]

Day 7. You hear that you nic biatch? Day 7 without you. When I wake up tomorrow, it will be in my second week without you.

And what kind of thank you have you given me? How about a dream that I was in the closet (let's try not to read too much into that part) of my childhood bedroom, with a tin of grizzly wintergreen pouches, moments away from putting three pouches in my mouth, when my wife walks into the room. She doesn't bother to ask why I'm hiding, she just asks where my son's clothes are, picks them up and leaves.

Ermmmm... WTF. (yes, I'm a ninja, sure, my mind is telling me to tell my wife, let's ignore the psycho-babble and enjoy the humor of this post)

Tomorrow starts a new week. That means I've taken it ODAAT, 7 times. And tomorrow I will do the same, but with a continued sense of purpose and dedication. Because I can now add another measure of time in front of the declaration - I quit chewing, and this is my second week.

I mentioned in a PM to someone that in the last 5 or 6 years, the longest I had ever "paused" was a week so that nicotine was out of my system for a blood test. Well, by going ODAAT, I'll move past that point tomorrow and be able to see it in my rearview mirror.

Thanks to the system, everyone that's been texting and messaging me, and the general hard-ass way this site is run. It's been working for me. I logged on 7 days ago thinking about quitting, read about a bunch of hard-ass guys and gals that were doing this cold turkey, and said I'll hitch my wagon to that horse. Every day I wake up and decide to do it again. Couldn't be happier about that decision. Couldn't be happier to be quit with my battling bastard august assassins. Together we got this.

[worktowin]

This is a great intro. You sound like a guy that has figured out that honesty and integrity will make your life better. KTC, posting roll every day and honoring your word, will help make you a better man. We joined this site to quit a filthy dangerous addiction. But many of us have gained lifelong friends and turned our lives in a much more positive direction.

I chewed like a ninja hamster for 25 years. I threw away over $40k. This place saved my life, and made it so much better. One day at a time life will get better. It will take some time. Who cares? Winning, really winning, after years and years and years of sneaking and hiding and losing is so sweet that you won't even believe how good it feels.

If I can help, shoot me a PM. You aren't alone bro.

[Rawls]

Great intro Alterego.
Quit for you.. Even if your family begged you to use it.
There will be heat... In our futures.
Nicotine + problem = two problems.
When it gets crazy... Walk, drink water, and read.
Nicotine is a lie.
Search for truth... It sets us all free.
I quit with you today.
Rawls 915

[alterego]

Day 3, halfway in the books. More temptation today than the last two days combined. I'm working from home, which normally means I'm most of the way through a tin by now. My wife just left with the kids for a few hours, which means I'm normally in the car running to the C-store to stock up ahead of the weekend, so I don't have to pretend errands. No fog yet, but plenty of triggers.

Gearing up for the first weekend in a long, long time that I don't have to sneak away from the family for 20 minutes at a time. We're staying active the entire weekend - stay engaged and stay busy. And stay away from the booze. As I found out yesterday, nothing makes you crave like a little too much to drink.

According to the "recovery timeline" I can now :
48 hours   Â… nerve ending to start healing and your sense of smell and taste to begin returning to normal.
On the upside, since I'm not drinking nearly as much, I won't be able to taste how bad that wine my wife has been buying from Aldi's really tastes!

All kidding aside, I'm starting to get a bit of a swagger back. I started losing weight a couple months ago, and it's starting to show (down a couple belt notches, etc...) and coupled with day 3 of quit I feel damn good right now. Don't worry - no cockiness here - just starting to slowly feel like ME, and not ADDICT ME.

I'll post roll over the weekend, but probably no intro updates, so everyone stay strong. So proud to quit with everyone here.

[Thumblewort]

Glad you dumped the stuff, because this is a zero nicotine site - using those would be a cave. Good job!

[net gain]

Stay strong Alterego. It gets better after the suck. Drink lots of water and try to get extra sleep.

I quit with you today- net gain day 27

[alterego]

Day 2. I made it through my first day, and it wasn't fun - but it wasn't as terrible as I expected. I had originally had some Nicorette in my bag, but after finding this site when I decided to quit, I opened up the lozenge container and dumped 'em down the toilet. Why drag out the quit? I mean, I'm eventually going to have to do without nicotine, be it chew, lozenge, or gum - so why should I prolong my addiction by another minute, hour, or day?

It's funny, the way my mind works. I've always thought of myself as mentally tough, so when I quit smoking a decade ago I focused on the physical withdrawal. 3 days. That's it. After that your body isn't actually telling you that you want it, it's your mind. Well, when I wake up tomorrow I'll be more than halfway through my physical addiction. And by the time I hit the weekend and get to hang out with my family, Nicotine will have no physical hold on me. It'll just be mental. I can control my mind. I can be mentally strong.

Proud to be quit with all of you
-AlterEgo, Day 2

[Thumblewort]

You sound like me. I tried to quit for my kids, but would always cave. It wasn't until I hated the death weed for running my life that I could be a quitter. I still quit every day - I am an addict and need the daily promise to be quit.