From the fog

[pab1964]

Great job pa now keep up the running but pick up gum! I've dipped 38 years with the help from all people on this site and posting roll EDD (every damn day) Odaat (one day at a time) I'm nic free 63 days! I'm an addict? You're an addict let's help each other! I quit with you today!

[Rawls]

Go PA Go PA Go PA.
Well done brother on three days..
Nic should be out of your system in the 72 hours. Now it's just mind games that come and go..
Get some walking and exercise in with that extra bottle of water today.
I quit with you... All day.

[copingwithoutcopen]

Welcome PA! Do no harm, eh?

[jwright]

Well, I've popped in and out of this website for several years, first time joining and posting roll. Im 37, an ER Physician Assistant, and have a wife and 2 kids ages 3 and 1. Today is day 2 of my quit and things are a little foggy. I've quit before, numerous times. Been a ninja dipper since I quit smoking in college. Switched to dipping to get through some of those long boring lectures. Never expected it to still control my life 15 years later. Started with Skoal Wintergreen, switched to Grizzly Wintergreen, then Grizzly Mint last year when the wintergreen started making my lip really sore. Wintergreen must have more fiberglass in it or something. Anyhow, I've kept this a secret for 15 years. I met my wife in college, she knew I quit smoking, but never knew how. She never knew I had a zip lock baggie packed flat with dip, tucked discreetly into the lining of my shaving kit whenever we went on vacation or out of town. She never knew that the reason I ran upstairs to my bathroom after every lunch and/or dinner was not really to floss my teeth, but to get a dip. I had gotten so good at hiding it. I was always prepared. In the summer time I always wore loose cargo shorts if I had to carry my can on me. If I had on jeans and had to carry a can on me, either just from the car into the house or from the house to the car, Id stick the can in my pocket and then slide my thin wallet in front of it. So the rectangular outline of the wallet was what you saw from the front. Ive run out of dip on vacations before. In that case i would go out for a run, sometimes Id have to run 2-3 miles to find a place that sold tobacco. I'd run all the way back with the can in my hand, then tuck it into the waistband of my shorts when i got back to the hotel. Then I'd tuck it under my side of the mattress in the room. in other words, I've gone to great lengths to keep my addiction a secret. I simply cannot keep it up though. I'm tired of dip running my life. So that's why I'm here. I'm in the fog, I'm cranky and a little pissed off today, but here's to another day dip free. 'bang head'

Buddy, your story is all too familiar. Give my introduction a read (and my HOF speech) if you get a minute. You are absolutely no different than I or many others. Believe me when I say I understand the guilt and shitty feelings you have about your addiction. For us Ninja dippers there was always a high level of guilt associated with dipping as you hid it from the ones you care about.

Good news, after over 16 years of dipping and a million quit tries, KTC gave me the opportunity to succeed. All you have to do is quit one day at a time and be a man of your word.

Post roll every single day with your quit group making your promise that you won't use that day. It is going to blow really bad for a while, but when you wake up in the morning and are't limited and controlled by your addiction, it is a something that I cannot describe.

You CAN beat your addiction with this site. Feel free to PM me if you ever need any support at all. I'll look for your roll posts.

[worktowin]

Way to post roll! Posting roll is a key part of the methodology here. In my signature block is a long and technical article about what nicotine does to us and why it's so addictive. I ran into this article early on in my quit, and it just made me even more angry at a nicotine.

I used to think that my wife did not know about my dipping (I was a "ninja" dipper), but when I told her about my quit (around day 10), she said she knew. Of course she knew--she's my wife.

When you are ready, a conversation with your wife may be something you consider.

Ninja living is no way to live. Right now you are also putting a lot of effort into ninja quitting. This site will help you more than you know. Here you have evidence that you aren't alone. Hidden cans in old shoes? How about in the elastic of a sock under pants? Under 30 folded t-shirts in a suitcase? Paid 20$ for a tin cause you ran out in some remote place? Made up some pathetic excuse to run out at 11pm. 25 years, 40k+ dollars here. I'm done with that shit now, I'm free, and you are too.

One day at a time bud. It gets better fast. I see you posted roll - that is your team. You are fighting a common battle and you give your word to each other that you will be clean for a day. I came clean to my wife completely on day 300. I can't tell you how hard that was... Or how liberating. You are really gonna like the new you.

If I can help send me a pm. This is the best thing you have ever done for yourself. Ever.

[Stat]

Way to post roll! Posting roll is a key part of the methodology here. In my signature block is a long and technical article about what nicotine does to us and why it's so addictive. I ran into this article early on in my quit, and it just made me even more angry at a nicotine.

I used to think that my wife did not know about my dipping (I was a "ninja" dipper), but when I told her about my quit (around day 10), she said she knew. Of course she knew--she's my wife.

When you are ready, a conversation with your wife may be something you consider.

[Idaho Spuds]

Great work on your decision, not keeping this secrete will be liberating!
My one constructive comment is that you need to be on this site frequently, posting roll everyday, chatting reading, what are you going to tell the Mrs.?
I tell my wife about all the successes, fails and drama on KTC, it is like my pinterest or facebook. I would consider telling her the truth

[FMBM707]

PA-
A lot of us hid our addiction, I use to hide it then it got to the point I didn't give a fuck who saw me dip because dipping became the priority- it's an awful fucking feeling when you kids get old enough to realize what you are doing or they walk around imitating you spitting.

Quit now. Quit hard. Quit right.

Put as much time in quitting as you did to hide your nicotine addiction and you will be on your way.

Post roll early and EVERY SINGLE DAY. This is your promise to you and to your quit group (June 2015) that you are not going to use any source of nicotine for that day. Then wake up, piss, post roll again the next day. Make that daily promise and me a man of your word.

YOU CAN DO THIS. The annuls of KTC are overflowing with success stories of getting freedom back from that cancerous weed. That success comes from posting roll, reading, reading and more reading on this site, getting involved, getting on chat and giving back.

PM me if you need some digits or have any questions.

I'm here to quit with those that are serious about quitting.

Quit with you. Quit on.

[Rawls]

Wow..
Thanks for that... You feel better?
I like the way you call lieing a "little secret".
Welcome aboard with all of us other old secret carriers. We go by addicts here.
And you my friend are a brother from another mother!
You got some great support here in introductions and you will have more in your quit group.
Learn to post role today. And make your promise not to use nicotine in anyway.
Life is better being free.
No more secrets.
No more lies.
You.. Your wife.. You kids all deserve more.
I am here to quit and cut the chains with you today. Let's do this ODAAT.
PM me through the inbox if you need anything.

Ps Don't loose the pissed off thing for a while... You were lieing... Because you have been lied too!
Truth will get rid of that anger. Drink water.. Keep reading.

[Phys_Assist]

Well, I've popped in and out of this website for several years, first time joining and posting roll. Im 37, an ER Physician Assistant, and have a wife and 2 kids ages 3 and 1. Today is day 2 of my quit and things are a little foggy. I've quit before, numerous times. Been a ninja dipper since I quit smoking in college. Switched to dipping to get through some of those long boring lectures. Never expected it to still control my life 15 years later. Started with Skoal Wintergreen, switched to Grizzly Wintergreen, then Grizzly Mint last year when the wintergreen started making my lip really sore. Wintergreen must have more fiberglass in it or something. Anyhow, I've kept this a secret for 15 years. I met my wife in college, she knew I quit smoking, but never knew how. She never knew I had a zip lock baggie packed flat with dip, tucked discreetly into the lining of my shaving kit whenever we went on vacation or out of town. She never knew that the reason I ran upstairs to my bathroom after every lunch and/or dinner was not really to floss my teeth, but to get a dip. I had gotten so good at hiding it. I was always prepared. In the summer time I always wore loose cargo shorts if I had to carry my can on me. If I had on jeans and had to carry a can on me, either just from the car into the house or from the house to the car, Id stick the can in my pocket and then slide my thin wallet in front of it. So the rectangular outline of the wallet was what you saw from the front. Ive run out of dip on vacations before. In that case i would go out for a run, sometimes Id have to run 2-3 miles to find a place that sold tobacco. I'd run all the way back with the can in my hand, then tuck it into the waistband of my shorts when i got back to the hotel. Then I'd tuck it under my side of the mattress in the room. in other words, I've gone to great lengths to keep my addiction a secret. I simply cannot keep it up though. I'm tired of dip running my life. So that's why I'm here. I'm in the fog, I'm cranky and a little pissed off today, but here's to another day dip free. 'bang head'