ReeseB - This thread gives me an opportunity make a point. So thanks for your post. I hope you stay around and you learn and grow.
You came in late and didn't say anything because you were so offended. You didn't get involved because of the avatars etc.
Your attitude and approach is pure selfishness, self-riteous and cowardly. It's all the characteristics of an addict, and after all these days, you have't grown as a man. You may not be using nic, but you are white-knuckling it, worried about the outside appearances instead of working this through from the inside out.
Let me ask you - Do you think you are the only guy with daughters on here? The only married guy? The only one with sisters or a mom or grandma? Did you pause to even consider this, or did you just immediately go to your overall condemnation of everyone. I'm super glad you feel so good about being able to be the one to pick up the first rock and throw it.
Did you spend any time on chat? Did you spend anytime texting someone? Did you make phone calls to encourage someone or check in on them? Do you know any one of the many women on this site and did you talk to them about it? Did you even once PM me and reason with me when I'm posting my comments or pictures? How many people have you actively reached out to help quit in the days since you've been on here? How many posts have you placed that shared what you were going through so others could feel like they weren't alone.
You choose to focus on one part of this thing and you missed the entire point of it. Brotherhood. You seem to be all about the accountability aspect of it, but you have no clue on the brotherhood portion.
I have at least 50 quitters phone numbers in my phone. Some are vets with a 1000 + days, some are just finishing their first week. I've got the phone numbers of 3 women quitters, that I have talked to, texted with and posted support for. Do you know the one woman in our group? Did you know we had a woman in our group? Do you know her real name? I know all of that. I've taken the time to get to know her. I've talked to her when she was having really hard times. And you know what, it's with that confidence that I know that if I ever post something that really makes her feel like shit, she'd call me, text me or just delete whatever the hell I posted. That's called relationship, friendship, brotherhood. It's a key component of staying quit as life gives us what life gives us, and the truly sad thing is that you've completely missed that message. Do you know we've got dudes that were on the verge of tears this week going through hard times. You wouldn't know that, but I do because they called to talk to me about it. Did you post anything last week when THansen posted the stuff with his mom and cancer? Where was your support for women then? Where was your great example to your daughters? You can't support a guy that cusses or says talks about BJ's who's mom is battling cancer? What's the message you are sending Reese?
In terms of your threat - your comments absolutely confirm that you don't know and furthermore have not even taken the time to research addiction recovery in any meaningful way. Have you ever been to an AA meeting? Alanon? Any kind of group therapy or addiction recovery meeting? Do you know what the rules for those places are? Do you know the kinds of things that get said there? You're statements are completely ignorant!!!!
Do you know why this kind of talk is tolerated at all? It's because it's honest. And the number one thing addiction recovery groups have to battle with is getting people to be honest with themselves and with others. That starts with a completely open and safe environment to say whatever the hell is on their mind or heart. Honesty starts there. As addicts we have to learn how to cope with all these awful feelings and things that go on in the world. Getting an addict to speak honestly is one of the hardest things to do, because especially in this culture, we're so busy projecting a good image. Image management and addiction recovery are two polar opposites. Look it up.
I am one of the worst offenders of your complaint Reece, but that's not why I'm writing to you. I'm writing this because I want you to experience what freedom truly is. How it will feel for you when you know you can be you with the knowledge that you've got a whole bunch of awesome people watching over you. I know for a fact, that if I get out of line or I'm missing the boat, that it'll get addressed and addressed quickly. Get involved Reece. You obviously care. Why not take a leadership role and do something about it instead of throwing your hands up in the air and walking away. The comments about things being so pervasive here is myopic. Do you know you could reach out to just one quitter, some newbie or someone in our group and truly make a difference....or do you still just want to sit back and have a "what's in it for me" attitude.
Look beyond the words to the heart of the matter Reece. That's what I try to teach my daughter.
