Lance, I love your candor bro, I was thinking about a lot of the same thing when my quit began 15 days ago. There's a ton of things I absolutely LOVED about chewing.
There's a part of this that's the same as breaking up with a terrible girlfriend. You KNOW you need to leave her, you know she's not right for you, you KNOW your family hates her, you KNOW she'll be a terrible mother, you KNOW she has the world's worst friends, you KNOW she'll spend all your money, you KNOW she's dangerous enough to kill you someday. You KNOW she'll take take take your whole life, and the thought of being with her in 1 or 5 or 10 years makes you want to throw up in your mouth.
But still, for some reason its SAD to leave her. You're used to her, you can talk to her, you like having her in your bed, like her making you food, you like the way she makes you feel. Leaving her is sad because there's a part of you that knows life will be never be the same.
And that's why you must leave her. Because you CAN'T ever be the same. Your life is too important to settle for this terrible woman. If you were a lesser man you'd settle, but deep down you know you deserve better.
Some quitters call her the nic bitch. You can call her insert name of worst female any of your buddies ever dated.
Sure, there'll be some sad times at first, some apprehension, some fear about leaving some good memories behind. But you know deep down you have to leave and say goodbye forever. Your life is at stake, and you must choose that over the small number of temporary things that are hard to let go.
And THAT is why we're all here to help. You can do this.
Kyle