Jarhead,
Don't think about tomorrow, next week, next month, next year...just focus on right fucking now. You can change the past and nobody knows the future. The only thing you can do is commit to yourself and every on here that you will not put any shit in your face today...right now.
The Nic Bitch is tough, no doubt about it. But here is your chance to be a hero and save your own life, to spare all of your family, friends and loved ones a ton of grief and sadness over a stupid choice you made 24 years ago.
You've taken the first step. Let us help you with the rest. We're all in this together. There are no short-cuts. Everyone has had to go through the same shit you are going through right now. (In a sick way, that is kinda cool). The Nic Bitch doesn't take it easy on anyone. No pills, no patches, nno bullshit...just a commitment to yourself and the folks on this site.
We got your back and we won't let you down.