Like most of you, I started dipping at a young ageÂ…too young to be making life and health altering decisions. I was 15 years old when I started. My cousin is five years older than I am and he and his friends were all dippers or chewers. I stupidly worshiped these guys and would do anything to be like and fit in with them. All it took was one dip with a friend after school one day for me to be hooked. My buddy got sicker than hell from it and never touched it again. Wish like hell I would have been the one puking all overÂ…what a dumb-ass I was! Anyway, IÂ’m a 42 year old, divorced, proud father of two incredible daughters nowÂ…itÂ’s time to take control of my life back from the Nic Bitch.
You see, while my girls are always telling me how great and amazing I amÂ…I havenÂ’t been feeling that way. All I see when I look in the mirror is a father who doesnÂ’t care enough about himself or his children to man up and quit spending money to kill himself. The reason this hits home with me so solidly is that my dadÂ’s parents both died before I was bornÂ…both were heavy tobacco users and I never got to meet them because of it. My dad passed away, from lung cancer, almost exactly a year before my oldest daughter was born. This is a trend that needs to stop in my familyÂ…and it stops now!
I stumbled on this site two days ago while trying to figure out how to get this bullshit whore out of my life for good. After several hours of reading on this site the past couple of days, you folks have shown me that I am truly an addictÂ…something I guess IÂ’ve struggled with admitting for a long time. YouÂ’ve also shown me that I am not alone in all of the things that IÂ’ve felt alone with and ashamed of. I have literally been in tears reading some of the stories that youÂ’re all willing to share. You guys, and gals, have given me the confidence to know that, with each otherÂ’s help, we can all kick this shit for goodÂ…together.
I spit my last dip out and threw the rest of my LAST CAN in the slough behind my house before I started typing this up. I know itÂ’s not going to be easy and we will definitely need to lean on each other. But, this quit, IÂ’m all in!
November 2012 Group – see you at roll in the AM…I look forward to getting to know you guys/gals!