My story with tobacco starts at birth. I grew up on a farm in Western Kentucky where my family grew both burley for cigarettes and dark fired for chew/dip. I remember the saw dust smell from firing. It is engrained in my mind.
Shortly after my father passed away, the government announced that they were doing away with tobacco base and my mother got a settlement check from the government concerning our family's tobacco base that it held.
I still live on a farm but no tobacco is grown on it anymore.
I started dipping Copenhagen when I was in grade school (addicted by 7th grade). I hid it from my family as long as I could but they soon found out. They were somewhat disappointed but were happy I was dipping and not smoking.
It's been a long ride. I'm 43 years old now. Have really tried to quit only a handful of times and always failed. Not this time. I was in a terrible vehicular accident and look at life different now. I must quit. Not I want to. I have to. It's finally time and I'm thankful for knowing that.
I'm on day 5 now. The first 4 were not pleasant but it's amazing what one can do if he/she is not only determined to quit but rather has also truly quit in their heart.
I do realize that it would only take one dip to make this all go away and then another etc. But, I am stronger than nicotine so (pardon my language) screw you nicotine. I have let you control me for 30 years. Yes, you were my master and I was your slave. I now learning how to make my own decisions. You, nicotine, were not even a good master. You cost me money, you made other people view me as gross, and you always held that cancer card up high in my face laughing at me thinking I couldn't escape your enslavement. You may have said look at that fool, he knows I can cause cancer but he still lets me make his decisions. What a fool.
Yes, I was a 30 year fool to the dark fired tobacco leaf. I admit it. But for the first time in 30 years, I am making my own decisions. I am rewiring my brain and I understand that it will take some time. I'm just so happy that I'm where I right now. Yes, bad mood and all as it reminds me of nicotine's evil grip. It will pass and I'll be a better man.