I don't like knowing that after 170 days I will still have the cravings that I have now..
I hate being a addict.
It is what it is.
We post roll when times are bad. We post roll when times are good.
It serves a purpose for both.
I am about a year quit. The last "crave" I had was last month. I was getting ready for a road trip to a concert with some smokers and chewers. I started thinking about how hard it was going to be to refuse if offered. I started thinking about what it would feel like to fail.
I posted roll early that morning, and I went on my trip. Shit was fucking easy to get through. It wasn't as hard as I imagined, and a few of the guys even held back with their usage while around me. I was more worked up over the trip and was fine during it.
What I'm saying here is fuck tomorrow. You can't get to 170 if you can't get through today. Any perception that you have about tomorrow is probably not real.
It gets better. Way better.
But there are bumps in the road, and right around the 200 area it's not the most fun. Luckily, you've learned so many ways to cope and have so much support here that failure is not an option. Think about how good it has been, and just imagine that time elongated. That's what happens the longer you are quit. Your good times get longer. You still have bad times, but they are fewer and far between.
You can do this.
