I started chewing tobacco when I was 15 and here I am 9 years later, still chewing at least a can a day. I wish I could say that I dreaded every day of it, but on the contrary. My trusty little sidekick went every where with me. He helped me celebrated the biggest moments of my life, calmed my anxieties in the toughest of times, and made me never feel alone. Hell, I felt naked when I didn't have a lip in. But as much as I wish this could go on forever, it can't. It is slowly killing me from the inside out. Tobacco may not have caused any illnesses in me yet, but I know it is a ticking time bomb. I have to admit though, the threat of disease isn't my main motivator.
Addiction is one of the ugliest characteristics known to man. In essence, it destroys a man's will power. As a coach, how can I preach the development of grit and determination if I can't even implement them myself? Although my players don't know it, I wear the shame of a hypocrite. No more, however. No more will I sneak dips in behind my players backs just so I get a brief endorphin rush. I will no longer succumb to a weak will. Instead, I will practice what I preach.
Today is day three out of infinity and I feel great. True, I can't shake the nagging urge to get a lip. But now I have a much stronger feeling, pride. Proud that this is just the beginning and I will no longer embrace the self fulfilling guilt of an addict. Instead, I will keep advancing myself as a man of character. Goodbye old friend, you will not be missed.
