3 days in

[Souliman]

Agonizing day 2 after 25 quit and blown.  I stopped for three years once without support. And we see how well that worked out as I sit at the end of another day two with white knuckles and plenty of sadness.  I am reminded, yet again,  of how wretched being an addict is.

I am serious as death about this quit. That's why I came back in one days' time. The flogging I gave myself was far worse than any dished out.

I have exchanged numbers with several people to whom I have already talked and reached out.  Many have reached out and i appreciate that support with every fiber of my being. 

I've realized that the only weakness with regard to needing help is in choosing to forgo it, rather than ask for it.

This quit I will figure out how to call and ask for help through tears if need be.  I will allow myself to be vulnerable and stand strong in the face of it. I will keep my word or die trying. I will quit day by day.

Lu coming back right away shows a great deal of desire to quit. I'm not one to judge you, You will be your very hardest critic. When you are having those cravings reach out. I know a few days before you caved you said that your craving was getting worse, they should have been easing were they getting worse because you were planning a cave?? You need to figure that out. I know that I have had thoughts of caving and used craves to boost those thoughts along. For me if I start dwelling on the crave it snowballs into a more serious crave. If I don't do something to sidetrack the crave it takes over my mind!! You need to plan how to deal with the craves and triggers more effectively.

The key, in my opinion, is taking those "craves" and breaking them down to what they really are. After a few days purely mental. The demon in the addicts head, dispatched by UST to pull you back in. As simple as quit or not quit. Hard yet simple. For me, the 21 year addiction was difficult to mentally ignore at first. However, thru training and daily doses of KTC, I rarely even have a crave (last significant one was approximately 180 days ago) and know that I will never again want it. Mental game. Know the enemy and consider what it is we are dealing with on the inside and do not allow it to play a role in your day. Craves, sadness, withdrawals, etc....nah, dismissed. The mind is a powerful thing. We are in control. You are in control.

Lu - did you reach out before you put a cancer stick in your mouth? did you reach out to anyone on this board asking for help? anyone in your quit group? did you ask AG for help? If the answer is 'no', you need to ask yourself how bad do you want it? How bad to you want freedom? I've got two kids and a wife I've been in love with since I was 12. That is not why I quit. I've got some good education and a good career. That is not why I quit. I quit because when I look in the mirror I know I am worth more. I know that every step I take in this world is worth it. I belong here, free and healthy. I want it because that's where I belong. I will do whatever it takes to have it. I have no shame in calling Scowick to ask for help. I know Whsii would answer the phone to see how I'm doing day or night. I trust these folks. Its our strength that keeps us quit. Use it.

[AgLawyer]

Agonizing day 2 after 25 quit and blown.  I stopped for three years once without support. And we see how well that worked out as I sit at the end of another day two with white knuckles and plenty of sadness.  I am reminded, yet again,  of how wretched being an addict is.

I am serious as death about this quit. That's why I came back in one days' time. The flogging I gave myself was far worse than any dished out.

I have exchanged numbers with several people to whom I have already talked and reached out.  Many have reached out and i appreciate that support with every fiber of my being. 

I've realized that the only weakness with regard to needing help is in choosing to forgo it, rather than ask for it.

This quit I will figure out how to call and ask for help through tears if need be.  I will allow myself to be vulnerable and stand strong in the face of it. I will keep my word or die trying. I will quit day by day.

Lu coming back right away shows a great deal of desire to quit. I'm not one to judge you, You will be your very hardest critic. When you are having those cravings reach out. I know a few days before you caved you said that your craving was getting worse, they should have been easing were they getting worse because you were planning a cave?? You need to figure that out. I know that I have had thoughts of caving and used craves to boost those thoughts along. For me if I start dwelling on the crave it snowballs into a more serious crave. If I don't do something to sidetrack the crave it takes over my mind!! You need to plan how to deal with the craves and triggers more effectively.

The key, in my opinion, is taking those "craves" and breaking them down to what they really are. After a few days purely mental. The demon in the addicts head, dispatched by UST to pull you back in. As simple as quit or not quit. Hard yet simple. For me, the 21 year addiction was difficult to mentally ignore at first. However, thru training and daily doses of KTC, I rarely even have a crave (last significant one was approximately 180 days ago) and know that I will never again want it. Mental game. Know the enemy and consider what it is we are dealing with on the inside and do not allow it to play a role in your day. Craves, sadness, withdrawals, etc....nah, dismissed. The mind is a powerful thing. We are in control. You are in control.

[Wt57]

Agonizing day 2 after 25 quit and blown. I stopped for three years once without support. And we see how well that worked out as I sit at the end of another day two with white knuckles and plenty of sadness. I am reminded, yet again, of how wretched being an addict is.

I am serious as death about this quit. That's why I came back in one days' time. The flogging I gave myself was far worse than any dished out.

I have exchanged numbers with several people to whom I have already talked and reached out. Many have reached out and i appreciate that support with every fiber of my being.

I've realized that the only weakness with regard to needing help is in choosing to forgo it, rather than ask for it.

This quit I will figure out how to call and ask for help through tears if need be. I will allow myself to be vulnerable and stand strong in the face of it. I will keep my word or die trying. I will quit day by day.

Lu coming back right away shows a great deal of desire to quit. I'm not one to judge you, You will be your very hardest critic. When you are having those cravings reach out. I know a few days before you caved you said that your craving was getting worse, they should have been easing were they getting worse because you were planning a cave?? You need to figure that out. I know that I have had thoughts of caving and used craves to boost those thoughts along. For me if I start dwelling on the crave it snowballs into a more serious crave. If I don't do something to sidetrack the crave it takes over my mind!! You need to plan how to deal with the craves and triggers more effectively.

[lulou]

Agonizing day 2 after 25 quit and blown. I stopped for three years once without support. And we see how well that worked out as I sit at the end of another day two with white knuckles and plenty of sadness. I am reminded, yet again, of how wretched being an addict is.

I am serious as death about this quit. That's why I came back in one days' time. The flogging I gave myself was far worse than any dished out.

I have exchanged numbers with several people to whom I have already talked and reached out. Many have reached out and i appreciate that support with every fiber of my being.

I've realized that the only weakness with regard to needing help is in choosing to forgo it, rather than ask for it.

This quit I will figure out how to call and ask for help through tears if need be. I will allow myself to be vulnerable and stand strong in the face of it. I will keep my word or die trying. I will quit day by day.

[SamCat!!!]

I have given you my number...Yet..I have never recieved yours...I am a Female  an ex-smoker...If you are serious about this Quit and being held Accountable I would expect to recieve your number in return...

We have been waiting for your posts in WTP...not sure why you would not want all of the free support that you can recieve...that door is still open...Always will be!!! Important thing is whether here or there...Keep your Word...Learn from your Failures and Get it Done!!! I am a phoneCall Away!!!

[Skoal Monster]

Silly LuLou

all you gotta do is just put that shit down and never pick it back up. It's that easy. At some point in the future you'll go weeks or months without thinking about it. I shake my head in disgust with myself for taking so long to quit. You will too. Just ride the shit out in the beginning. Quitting won't kill you, I promise, and its only as hard as you make it.

sM

[Grizzly25]

I caved. I regret it. I'm starting over. Day 1. I want my quit back. I will reach out for help next time I feel weak. I've done it before but did not do it last night. I regret it. I hope you'll have me back. I will always be an addict but I will not use nicotine today. Day by day. Emotional situation or not. Nicotine solves nothing.

uh-oh........ _

Did you even try to reach out to anyone from your quit group? 'help'

PM me if you need any numbers or help, also I have the feeling there might be a slight shit storm comming your way......

[lulou]

I caved. I regret it. I'm starting over. Day 1. I want my quit back. I will reach out for help next time I feel weak. I've done it before but did not do it last night. I regret it. I hope you'll have me back. I will always be an addict but I will not use nicotine today. Day by day. Emotional situation or not. Nicotine solves nothing.

[lulou]

thanks guys. truly appreciate it. still fighting the good fight. day by day.

[AgLawyer]

To want something so badly and know without a doubt that all it has to offer you is a painful death and to still want it is utter insanity.

Train yourself to know that you DO NOT want it badly. It is a poison. FUCK U.S. Tobacco. They lose today. YOU win.

[Greg5280]

Here is a little something off my intro page. One of many examples of the games Big Tobacco played with us. Learn to hate them and the products they sell and this becomes MUCH easier. Glad you are here.... !!

BIG TOBACCO

Without any doubt, the tobacco scientists knew that nicotine
was addictive; that the main reason people smoked and had
a hard time quitting was because of addiction; and that the
impact of nicotine could be boosted by getting it to the brain
more quickly through additions of certain chemicals to the
cigarette. The documents also reveal the tobacco industryÂ’s
strategy of denying to the public that nicotine was addictive.
The most famous instance of denial came when seven chief
executive offi cers of US tobacco companies each swore, in
1994, to a committee of the US Congress that they did not
believe nicotine was addictive.

Notice the dates on the quotes from their own employees! Guess what they did to hide this? Shut down all internal research on the subject, fire all the scientists and send all the paperwork to an "overseas" storage facility. Great bunch of human beings...

Sample quotations from the documents on nicotine and
addiction:

Think of the cigarette pack as a storage container
for a dayÂ’s supply of nicotine. ... Think of the
cigarette as a dispenser for a dose unit of nicotine.
Philip Morris chemist, 1972
Bates no. 2046787966/7982

Smokers are nicotine addicts.
Senior British American Tobacco scientist, 1961
Bates no. 3010833862/3865

Very few consumers are aware of the effects of
nicotine, i.e., its addictive nature and that nicotine
is a poison.
Brown  Williamson, 1978
Bates no. 665043966

The entire matter of addiction is the most potent
weapon a prosecuting attorney can have in a lung
cancer/cigarette case. We canÂ’t defend continued
smoking as “free choice” if the person was
“addicted.”
Tobacco Institute executive, 1980
Bates no. TIMN0097164

[Greg5280]

Day 21. 3 weeks since I smoked a cigarette. Everyone is happy. Life moves along like there never was a problem. How false that appearance is. How fragile I feel. I should feel better than I do. But I don't. To want something so badly and know without a doubt that all it has to offer you is a painful death and to still want it is utter insanity. Hence, I am insane. But I'm still quit dammit. I'm still fucking quit.

You are not insane, you are an addict. One of the most imortant things I learned here was I was an addict and all the behaviours in my past were linked to that. Spend some time reading about our little drug of choice and you will understand why it is so hard to break free.

Not only is Nicotine a perfect drug of addiction to begin with, the people at big tobacco decided to enhance it just a bit so they could be certain you would be a good little addict.

Read and learn. There are thousands of us here daily waiting to help you walk this path. I have seen numerous hands extended to you already, and I will do the same. Make no mistake; quitting is not easy but it is simple. Follow this outline and you will never ingest nicotine again.

1. Post roll call daily
2. Keep your word
3. Get up and do it again tomorrow.

STAY QUIT
Greg

[Wt57]

Day 21. 3 weeks since I smoked a cigarette. Everyone is happy. Life moves along like there never was a problem. How false that appearance is. How fragile I feel. I should feel better than I do. But I don't. To want something so badly and know without a doubt that all it has to offer you is a painful death and to still want it is utter insanity. Hence, I am insane. But I'm still quit dammit. I'm still fucking quit.

It does and will get better!

The funk comes and goes so stay focused and enjoy the freedom, concentrate on the good.

Stay quit 21 days is good and it does get easier and better!

You can do it, lewlew. Keep doing what you're doing. It will get better.

Hang in there you've got the worse behind ya. Pm me any time. We can lean on each other for strength to make it through.

[G]

Day 21. 3 weeks since I smoked a cigarette. Everyone is happy. Life moves along like there never was a problem. How false that appearance is. How fragile I feel. I should feel better than I do. But I don't. To want something so badly and know without a doubt that all it has to offer you is a painful death and to still want it is utter insanity. Hence, I am insane. But I'm still quit dammit. I'm still fucking quit.

It does and will get better!

The funk comes and goes so stay focused and enjoy the freedom, concentrate on the good.

Stay quit 21 days is good and it does get easier and better!

You can do it, lewlew. Keep doing what you're doing. It will get better.

[Grizzly25]

Day 21. 3 weeks since I smoked a cigarette. Everyone is happy. Life moves along like there never was a problem. How false that appearance is. How fragile I feel. I should feel better than I do. But I don't. To want something so badly and know without a doubt that all it has to offer you is a painful death and to still want it is utter insanity. Hence, I am insane. But I'm still quit dammit. I'm still fucking quit.

It does and will get better!

The funk comes and goes so stay focused and enjoy the freedom, concentrate on the good.

Stay quit 21 days is good and it does get easier and better!