Day 1: 01:49hrs. I've been dip free for a whole 2 hours and I'm already craving it. I've quit in the past, but I've always known in the back of my mind that I would go back if it got too hard or too stressful or if I was just craving it bad enough. My wife has been pressuring me since we met to quit. I've always told her that this was a decision that I needed to make for me, not for anyone else. Today, I've made that decision (ironically just after having purchased a log of Copenhagen Long Cut Mint). I want this for me. I want to quit because I'm done with some inanimate object having this level of control over my life. Don't get me wrong, I'm tired of the fights and arguments it causes and the shame I feel in doing it in front of my children, I won't miss that shit either, but the one thing, the ONE THING that I want most from this is to regain control over my life. I've been out of the Army for half a decade at this point, and while I miss it every day, there are parts of it I want back, and parts I don't. But one thing that I've held onto was the dip. 27 months in hell and I'll fully admit that it kept me alive over there. It kept me up when I was way past the point of exhaustion. But its time to let that go. There's a part of me that feels like I'm rambling only because I can either type or go get another dip. Fuck this is hard. Gentlemen, thank you for putting this type of community together. I have a sneaking suspicion that I'm going to need your support and for some of you to help me hold myself accountable in this journey. I want this shit out of my life. Invictus Maneo! Per aspera ad astra! Time to get some GRIT!!!!
