Hey Everyone. I read the article "Closet Chewer". Thats me. I've been a closet chewer for about 16 years. I've quit for a period of months at a time, but not with the support of others. I've relied on myself, with no accountability.
Now I'm married. I've got a son. I've been a closet chewer for a long time. It's time to admit my addicition, and go the extra mile to get the help I need.
The shame that goes along with lying about my addition to my family, my friends, etc. take away a lot from my pride. I've always considered myself a strong person that behaves in a way that my values align to my actions with one exception...tobacco. I would rationalize that it could be worse. I could be hooked on drugs, in jail, cheating on my wife, etc. All that would be way worse. My family has it good if all I do is sneak a chew once in awhile.
After reading some of the resources, and a lot of self reflection I am guilty of lying, period. I'm guilty of being extremely selfish. I'm slowly killing myself when I chew. That is as selfish as it gets. Period.
I started my quit by transitioning to gum. I figured that if I just chew the nic gum in the car (where I would sneak a chew) I would detach myself emotionally from chew. After some good persuasion from this forum, I've now ditched the gum too. I've been tobacco free for 19 days, and I'm on day 2 of nicotine free.
After today and tomorrow and my blood will be without nicotine for the first time in awhile. I know I will never be free from this addiction, but I will not cave to it. I will live with complete pride with regard to actions and alignments to values. No more except for the tobacco biatch. No more nicotine. Thanks for being here everyone.
-BCAGreenfield
