I am here to ask forgiveness. I insulted you and you never knew. I thought I was stronger than you. I believed that I could quit on my own. I though I was smarter than you. I decided it was okay to pick what wisdom I needed and what wisdom was a waste of my time. March 2016 I became a quitter. Sure enough, I made it 9 months before I caved. I lurked this site more than long enough to know better.
I have struggled even writing this post. I am ashamed of myself. I had made it so far. I dipped for 20 years. I was 12 when I took my first dip. Almost 2/3's of my life has been under nicotine's thumb. Pride was my downfall. So I am here, 2 days quit. Fog in my ears, blurred vision, anxiety, joint pain, sleep deprived (I'm so freaking tired), and pissed off. I did my first role call today. I know I can beat this, and I know that I can't beat this alone. I am happy a place like this exists. I wouldn't have quit the first time without what I learned here (obviously I didn't learn enough), and I will not be doing it alone this time.