Hey everyone,
I posted on Reddit last week and was encouraged to check out KTC. I think adding accountability and support to my quitting process is necessary and I am grateful that this sort of community exists.
A little about me, I started smoking at 15 and smoked for about 10 years. I was tired of my lungs feeling weak and crappy so I did what any wise nicotine addict would do. I switched to chew. 3 years later and I am ready to be free from nicotine addiction. I would say up until 2 weeks ago I had the idea of quitting, however even the thought of it made me scared/depressed/doubtful. My friend/barber told me that she has been listening to a book on tape and is getting ready to quit. She said the book is very powerful. So I went out and bought it. Allen Cars EASYWAY to stop smoking. I started reading it last Sunday and finished it on Monday. That same Monday I quit cold turkey.
The book helped me re-frame quitting nicotine. Instead of saying goodbye to a lifelong friend, I am breaking the chains of a lifetime of poison and slavery. I went three days without anything, and to be honest, I felt great/energized throughout the day, I think the book was helpful in realizing nicotine withdrawal is not as bad as I was trained to believe. My biggest trigger/craving came when the sun set. Every night before bedtime I would do my routine: brush my teeth, get ready for bed, put in a giant chew, and spit and read until I was just about falling asleep. After three days of being nicotine free, my girlfriend left town and my head told me that doing a chew before bed is going to be magical, enjoyable, and perfect. I listened to the disease and bought a can. Last night I finished the can and I signed up for KTC.
Although I was a bit discouraged by my actions of using again, I made sure to be mindful when succumbing to my craving on Thursday and Friday night. I asked myself: Is this pleasurable, do you feel MORE relaxed, is this really so wonderful as your brain made you think it would be? Well, the answer was NO. I didn't sleep great, my hands and feet got sweaty and cold, and last night half a can got me feeling nauseous. This little experiment proved to me what I already knew, and what the book I previously mentioned helped illustrate. The benefits of tobacco.....absolutely nothing. The reasons I use it are because I am physically addicted to nicotine and because I have been brainwashed to think that it is relaxing, pleasurable, fun, sophisticated, sexy etc etc. ALL LIES.
So I write and join this group because I am ready to quit. I am quit. But I need support, particularly when my brain begins deceiving me at night. I am going to follow the suggestions and do the daily roll call to keep my motivation strong. Thanks for reading/supporting this community to help others!
Al
