I strayed, fucked up... many times... but am a bitch of a quitter

[klark]

You going to bother to respond to the several offers of help? You have had a lot of people offer you help, or this a sign you plan on pissing on everyone again?

[Snowboredm]

1) What happened? I went to Vegas with a friend on the weekend I was supposed to get married (ex had a nervous breakdown a month before the wedding) and got totally wasted and smoked all weekend. I was able to stop for a week when I got back, then injured my knee playing hockey and bought a tin on the way to the hospital.

2) Why did it happen? I really didn't care about myself, my quit or anything/anyone that weekend. I was selfish. I was really, really depressed. And I didn't care enough about myself or others to quit again for a long time.

3) What are you going to do in the future so that it never happens again? Post every day. Chat when I can, even if I don't need it because helping someone else strengthens my quit. Remind myself I didn't feel better trying to fill a void the way I did, regardless of how I felt. I've also been on wellbutrin/bupropion (chantix) which has been tremendously helpful with both the depression and cravings.

[Quitforsoj]

You have my support

[klark]

I offered, you obviously don't give a damn. You want to beat this, I suggest you get serious. Your credibility with me right now is close to 0.

If you don't want it, don't waste anyone else's time.

[pab1964]

Wow my friend! Grab your damn sac! Take this shit like a man, send all these guy's a huge thank you for giving a shit or crawl back in and hide wherever with your tin because that must be your true friend. All I see is a bunch of guy's trying to save your life, so what if they hurt your feelings get your ass in here it's obvious you know how! I will be looking for you, man or mouse your call?

[klark]

Snow.... Not sure you are aware. But I Live in introductions trying to help people take the first steps to breaking the chains of addiction.
I have never seen more support in your two pages by Admin and Mods EVER!


Your failure to keep your word has brought out the best of KTC.
Ponder on that Snow and all you Guest reading this train wreck.


You cant buy the support that is available in these halls.

Whether you MAN UP or not Snow......... I want to Thank all that posted on your page ...... my quit is stronger!

Rawls, we all grew up quitting with snow, he provided many who came after him support when we were new. There is a lot of support being offered, but I have yet to hear snow say he accepts.

After you do snow, I suggest a big bottle of the KTC kool aid and posting roll be your main objectives.

[Rawls]

Snow.... Not sure you are aware. But I Live in introductions trying to help people take the first steps to breaking the chains of addiction.
I have never seen more support in your two pages by Admin and Mods EVER!


Your failure to keep your word has brought out the best of KTC.
Ponder on that Snow and all you Guest reading this train wreck.


You cant buy the support that is available in these halls.

Whether you MAN UP or not Snow......... I want to Thank all that posted on your page ...... my quit is stronger!

[RAZD611]

I'd really like to take exception to this:

But KTC people were fucking assholes.

So you don't like people calling you on your bullshit? You don't like people holding you accountable? You don't like being told the truth so you can wallow in your bullshit.

Give me a fucking break.

KTC is here to help. These "fucking assholes" cared enough to invest in you and to try to change your addict mentality. You don't like that? Then I suggest you find a nice, comfy place where people don't hold each other accountable and you get a nice pat on the ass every time you fuck your quit brothers over.

This statement says it all. If you are coming back with that attitude, you don't have a chance because after all the time you spent here, you still don't get it. You still want to blame others and things, circumstances and situations for why you are a lying, cheating, unaccountable, can't keep your word pussy. You never quit, you stopped. You went through the motions, that is all. You are a disgrace to this site. The fact that you even referenced the fact that you "quit" for a period of time shows you never got it. We only quit once, and we do it every damn day. You stopped for a bit and then decided to be a pussy and go back on your word, shit on the people that put into this site and your group, and then came back and blamed the assholes. YOU are the asshole. Your level of delusionment is astounding and tells me you have very little chance of success.

You should take this shit show somewhere else where they'll coddle your balls and tell you you're awesome. Honor and integrity is what we have here and you clearly don't have any of it and it means absolutely nothing to you. This place won't work for a guy like you.

King Asshole reporting for duty. Just what the fuk Snow? Third times a charm?

You had this shit beat? Did you find a migic potion that wore off. Your ass knew better than that.

Time to sack up. Head on over to your group and let them know a little about your self, why you fucked up and just what and how your actually gonna do this right for a change.

'facepalm''

[J2b]

Had this totally beat.

roflmao roflmao roflmao roflmao roflmao roflmao roflmao roflmao

There is your fucking problem right there.....and I remember your first day 1 back in 2009...

I posted up day 2296 today and I STILL DON'T "HAVE THIS BEAT" And I have come to terms with the FACT that I never will.

You learned nothing in your time here.

Jason, you need to take to heart what is being said here. These people are NOT your enemy. They care enough to call you out on your past fuck-ups so you don't repeat them again!!! Quitting is a life or death situation and you need to take quitting here seriously like your life depends on it!!! I want you to post with me in DEC 2008 EED so i can hold you accountable.

I think you should start by taking the word "QUIT" out of your signature line. You use it 3 times, and have proven 3 times that you don't know what QUIT means.

What he said. And you should have picked up on this, but we quit for today around here. I am sure from reading your previous story you were "quit for good" then, and that didn't work so well.

How about trying it the KTC way this go around? Quit for you and only you. Cut out the bullshit excuses (not to be an asshole but you caved when your last relationship went off the rails and your current statements last me to believe the same would happen if this lady got tired of your lies and walked as well).

Post roll. Keep your word. Repeat.

Every day. There is no party for the HOF, a comma, whatever. Quit is quit.

[MonsterMedic]

Had this totally beat.

roflmao roflmao roflmao roflmao roflmao roflmao roflmao roflmao

There is your fucking problem right there.....and I remember your first day 1 back in 2009...

I posted up day 2296 today and I STILL DON'T "HAVE THIS BEAT" And I have come to terms with the FACT that I never will.

You learned nothing in your time here.

Jason, you need to take to heart what is being said here. These people are NOT your enemy. They care enough to call you out on your past fuck-ups so you don't repeat them again!!! Quitting is a life or death situation and you need to take quitting here seriously like your life depends on it!!! I want you to post with me in DEC 2008 EED so i can hold you accountable.

I think you should start by taking the word "QUIT" out of your signature line. You use it 3 times, and have proven 3 times that you don't know what QUIT means.

[Kdip]

Had this totally beat.

roflmao roflmao roflmao roflmao roflmao roflmao roflmao roflmao

There is your fucking problem right there.....and I remember your first day 1 back in 2009...

I posted up day 2296 today and I STILL DON'T "HAVE THIS BEAT" And I have come to terms with the FACT that I never will.

You learned nothing in your time here.

Jason, you need to take to heart what is being said here. These people are NOT your enemy. They care enough to call you out on your past fuck-ups so you don't repeat them again!!! Quitting is a life or death situation and you need to take quitting here seriously like your life depends on it!!! I want you to post with me in DEC 2008 EED so i can hold you accountable.

[G]

Here's your HOF speech. You have a lot of folks to catch up with and apologize to for the time they invested in you. I'd suggest not telling them you "had this beat" "I'm here, deal with it" or "KTC people were fucking assholes." You need some humility and some self-searching to determine what you need to do differently this time.

I’ll start out with the usual so you know where I’m coming from…. I’m 26 born and raised in Southern California. I started my horrid relationship with the nic bitch when I was 19…. Drinking and offered a smoke… I still remember my first drag of that cig – I was drunk and said loudly “NIC-O-TIIIIINE!”. I can’t tell you how fucking embarrassed I am now of that. And it was all downhill from there… very quickly I moved into chew – it was easier to hide than cigarette smoke. Started working with kids, didn’t wanna reek of smoke so I chewed, and chewed, and chewed…. It quickly became a 2.5-3 tin PER DAY habit. I tear up when I think about how much money I could have saved. I hid it from everyone… family, most of my friends, and the girls I dated. I hid it from my now fiancée. I did it out of selfishness and shame. Really, there was no other explanation. As long as I was awake, I chewed every chance I got. Skoal was my downfall… mint and wintergreen the most, but was a sucker for citrus, apple, peach, and tried cherry and berry blend (both made me throw up, but I continued to chew, just chose a different flavor). I can’t begin to describe the internal torment I began to experience. About 9 months into my relationship with my (now) fiance, I got caught – a tin fell out of my clothes when I was in my room after a shower. (inside) FUCK!!!!!!! (outside) “Oh yeah I found it and was going to throw it away. Found an old tin from when I used to do it.” She cried but forgave me because she believed the lie I gave her…. I minimized it so it would go away, because I could quit at any time right? Tried the nic patches…. Had some horrid award winning horror movie nightmares in high definition – quickly chucked that option. Tried the nic gum… quickly became too expensive and so I used it to get through the weekends with those I dated…. Was an easy crutch to postpone the suck. Hell I quit 30 times… I ninja dipped so I ninja-quit. HA like that works. I caved within hours. No one knew I quit so who was going to hold me accountable? I always had a better reason to keep chewing. Long story short(er), my now fiance caught me two more times. Dumped me both times…. Because I could quit any time I wanted right? Just one more pinch first. It will fix it. And I continued to lie to myself. She was crazy enough the last time to tell me if I truly came clean, we could get through it. Thank goodness her boss, who had experience with family members with addiction, was there for her that day. I came clean. EVERY painful truth. I felt so low a spatula couldn’t have scraped me off the ground. She supported me and loved me even though I hid it from her for a year and a half. And I don’t regret a minute of it…. Here 100 days later, I remember that feeling… the look in her eyes, my shame and guilt. I broke her heart. I fucking broke her heart. Nothing I can ever do or say will shake that memory from my mind and we continue to battle that ugly truth. Every time I walk past a convenience store or get gas… I don’t think of the love hate relationship I had with chew or begin to contemplate that chew will make my life easier… I think of that look and my shame. That’s all it’s taken. So for the first time in my life, I’ve quit. Not the bullshit 2 day quit til I can’t handle the panic attack feelings of an NFL lineman standing on my chest…. I’m quit. I’m free TODAY. I have to fight for my freedom every day, but I don’t have to dream of it anymore.

For people that dream of quitting – come into the chatroom and check us out. If you’re ready to quit, make a commitment. Tell your significant other, your family, your friends. Join the site, post every day, live in the chatroom and get telephone numbers. You can learn from our mistakes. Don’t wait one more day – your life depends on it. I am one of the few in my quit group that signed roll call every single one of my 100 days. Looking back I had shitty ass days where I still posted because I didn’t want to hurt anyone’s quit by caving, and I made sure I kept my word. Hell if gump and coolcop made it 3 days longer than me, I could get through today. Some people didn’t follow that prescription and my hat is off to them for staying quit. Me? I knew I had to do it and it meant enough to me to commit to my fellow quitters every single day. Hell I still stay up til midnight to post for the day. I can’t begin to tell you what a relief it is to wake up knowing I gave my word to quit. Everyone who has caved or hasn’t sustained a quit – I suggest you ponder these thoughts – If you post everyday pledging to quit, you’re quit for the day. Don Quixote said “My honour is more dearer to me than my life”. I live with that quote every day. If I say I promise… and I break it, I’m a liar. I’ve already told you how far that got me. NOWHERE with a lip full of cancerdirt.
To my fiancée- I can’t begin to express my grief, sadness, guilt, or rejoice in quitting. You have given me life in so many ways I couldn’t begin to describe. I never thought quitting was a priority, an option, or a reality. Your patience, understanding, and encouragement got me here today. While I quit for myself, you were the catalyst for me seeking help and I thank you for saving my life. I love you with all my heart and can’t begin to express my excitement over the rest of our lives together. I pledge to you, as I have pledged every day to you and KTC that I will not chew, that I will continue to use my supports in my desperate times. I will let you know when I have shitty days, so you can know I need some more encouragement. You have been amazing and I knew that you supporting me, you being there, your unconditional love, that you got me through this and that, without question, you are the one I will spend the rest of my life with. I owe everything to you and will spend the rest of my life showing you how appreciative I am, one day at a time.

To Russjns, KD4JET, and Tab – Russ, Kenny  Tim – you ASSHOLES were there for me from day 1. I canÂ’t thank you enough for your being there during my first few days and opening up to me and providing your phone numbers. If I hadnÂ’t received the warm welcome I did, I probably wouldnÂ’t be here today. Russ  Kenny, thank you for being there in person to share my HOF day with me. Kenny you damn cowboy. I canÂ’t tell you how much I respect you as a badass quitter. Your approach is to take the hardline and call a turd a turd and not put up with shit and I appreciate the kick in the pants youÂ’ve given me and others both caving pussies and badass quitters. YouÂ’re real and call people out on their bullshit. Excuses are like assholes, everyone has one and they all stink. Tab we will make it happen. I will fly out there to shoot shit with you Elmer Fudd style! 'Remshot' I need to vist MENver some day anyways.

Kdip – Thank you for flying out here. We’re having a blast and it means a lot you’re making it all the way out here. You are badass and I hope to make my way out to Houston sometime soon so we can quit out there.
To Coolcop, Gump, and HFD2049 – I can’t thank you guys enough. Coolcop you’ve provided amazing perspectives into my rages, concerns, and realities. I have the utmost respect for you as a quitter, a person, an officer, and a father. You will be a mentor to many. Gump – I laughed at your posts, almost cried at others… its been a big rollercoaster but you’ve donned the cheerleading outfit like no other 'chew2' . Thank you for quitting every day 3 days ahead of me and getting me through. Keep up the Neil Patrick Harris shenanigans (if you don’t get this, rent “how I met your mother” dvds). You have a lot to offer and I hope you help others as they have helped us. Dan – HFD2049 – you reached out when I needed it. Thank you – we didn’t chat much but you kept me in mind and close to the site and helped me push through the last ¼ hall.

Hal – dunno what to say. You’re out here for my HOF. I was there your first day and you flew out here to celebrate my HOF. The support you’ve given me through everything and keeping me positive and focused… its as if you had 1000 days more than me. I think KTC needs extremes – the hopefuls (like you) and the hardasses. You bring in guys as quitters and I’ve seen them stay longer than most do because you are so supportive. You are invaluable and I consider you a dear friend. I consider you one of the integral components in my quit. Thank you.
And last, but not least, I have to say thank you to Chewie. Chat’s down – Chewie fixes it. Guy needs approval, Chewie adds him. 4 thousand quitters and Chewie manages that shit. Thank you for providing the forum for me to reach out to others to save my own life. I will never forget that and will strive to pass that along to everyone who struggles with the nic bitch.

There are so many others that have contributed to my quit… pista, CJinTampa, ktm rider, NMC, JKD, BC, franpro, ready, 11x4, madxdipper, southbeach, monty, razd611, VOLP, Flashman, bubblehead668, jpCrew, jayDisco, Greg40 you ®, cdforecheck, skoal monster, and all you January/February/March fucktards (MOOOOOOOSE, pcpowder, Ryano, klark, Bandito, Colton) and everyone else I’ve possibly missed… thank you. KTC has existed before my quit and will extend well beyond my HOF and I will always remember what you’ve given me and hope to give back.

Yesterday would have been the best day to quit. Today IS the best day to quit. There will always be excuses to postpone the quit – I can’t tell you how many time’s I “tried” and failed. September 4th I gave up on trying and gave my word to QUIT. Just that day. One day at a time. For me KTC is the best way to quit, hands down. Post roll, be active, chat, and reach out when you struggle. It’s a simple recipe to quit and stay quit. If I can quit a 2.5-3 tin/day habit for years, you can today. Today and only today. You can worry about tomorrow, tomorrow. Hard to believe something so difficult is that simple huh?

[Rkymtnman]

Had this totally beat.

roflmao roflmao roflmao roflmao roflmao roflmao roflmao roflmao

There is your fucking problem right there.....and I remember your first day 1 back in 2009...

I posted up day 2296 today and I STILL DON'T "HAVE THIS BEAT" And I have come to terms with the FACT that I never will.

You learned nothing in your time here.

[bronc]

I'd really like to take exception to this:

But KTC people were fucking assholes.

So you don't like people calling you on your bullshit? You don't like people holding you accountable? You don't like being told the truth so you can wallow in your bullshit.

Give me a fucking break.

KTC is here to help. These "fucking assholes" cared enough to invest in you and to try to change your addict mentality. You don't like that? Then I suggest you find a nice, comfy place where people don't hold each other accountable and you get a nice pat on the ass every time you fuck your quit brothers over.

This statement says it all. If you are coming back with that attitude, you don't have a chance because after all the time you spent here, you still don't get it. You still want to blame others and things, circumstances and situations for why you are a lying, cheating, unaccountable, can't keep your word pussy. You never quit, you stopped. You went through the motions, that is all. You are a disgrace to this site. The fact that you even referenced the fact that you "quit" for a period of time shows you never got it. We only quit once, and we do it every damn day. You stopped for a bit and then decided to be a pussy and go back on your word, shit on the people that put into this site and your group, and then came back and blamed the assholes. YOU are the asshole. Your level of delusionment is astounding and tells me you have very little chance of success.

You should take this shit show somewhere else where they'll coddle your balls and tell you you're awesome. Honor and integrity is what we have here and you clearly don't have any of it and it means absolutely nothing to you. This place won't work for a guy like you.

[Frazzled]

I'd really like to take exception to this:

But KTC people were fucking assholes.

So you don't like people calling you on your bullshit? You don't like people holding you accountable? You don't like being told the truth so you can wallow in your bullshit.

Give me a fucking break.

KTC is here to help. These "fucking assholes" cared enough to invest in you and to try to change your addict mentality. You don't like that? Then I suggest you find a nice, comfy place where people don't hold each other accountable and you get a nice pat on the ass every time you fuck your quit brothers over.