Brutal? How about fucking awesome?!!! You are living free and there is no going back. You need to post roll, read all you can and repeat. Posting roll is giving your word that come Hell or high water, you won't have anything to do with nicotine today. All that matters is today. We'll deal with the future when it gets here.
Change your attitude on quitting. Quitting takes guts. You should be pumped that you had the guts to stand up and say, THAT's IT!!! No more. I QUIT!!! Shit, your decision to quit is firing me us right now. I'm pumped that you had the guts to do it.
There is no going back. All that matters is today...this five minutes. When you get good and goddam determined that disfiguring surgery, tounge and jaw removal, feeding tubes, chemotherapy and torturing yourself and everyone who loves you isn't really what you want to do, you can make it one day without nicotine. Then, all you have to do it wake up and repeat.
Check out the Quit Groups...not just your own, but click around a little. Then think, all of those badass quitters were once right where you are now and they are winning ONE DAY AT A TIME. YOU CAN TOO!!!